Another Fine Mess (1930) - full transcript
Homeless, penniless and one step ahead of the police, Stanley and Oliver take refuge in the home of big-game hunter Colonel Buckshot while the owner is on safari. When Lord and Lady Plumtree call to enquire about renting the house, Oliver pretends to be Colonel Buckshot, while Stanley masquerades as both butler and maid. All goes as well as can be expected, with Lady Plumtree and Stanley, in his guise as "Agnes," engaging in girl talk, until the real Colonel Buckshot returns unexpectedly.
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Now, bear in mind, Meadows,
I'm leaving everything in your care.
Be sure that the person
who rents my house is reliable.
A person you can trust.
Yes, sir.
- Very good. Well, goodbye.
- Goodbye, Colonel.
And don't forget to tell me--
Thank heaven he's gone.
South Africa has my sympathy.
What's the matter?
Say, Kelly, did you see a couple
of bozos run this way?
Sure. A couple just went in there.
What's wrong?
Trying to make a hotel
out of the city park.
They even put
a couple of benches together
so that they could have twin beds.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.
And when I told them to move on,
the little fella tips his hat
and said, "Yes, ma'am."
That's what I'm sore about.
He's gone.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Well, here's another nice mess
you've gotten me into.
Yes, ma'am.
Come on, let's reconnoitre.
Shh.
Now, are you sure
you have everything?
Oh, certainly,
I've got everything.
Would you get a move on
before we miss that boat?
- Oh, all right.
- Oh, come on, hurry up.
- Get a move on. Get a move on.
- All right, coming.
But, listen, do you really think
it's safe for us to go away like this
and leave this place until Monday?
Oh, sure. The colonel won't be back
for at least six months.
And what's the difference if we
rent the house today or next week?
- It's the same.
- All right. Go on, go on.
You're always ready to start
an argument. Come on, hurry up.
Oh, and you're always blaming me.
Get out here. Come on.
Let's go out the side window.
Close the drapes.
- Well, this must be the place.
- It's perfectly ripping.
- It reminds me of old England-mere.
- It's just the thing.
Is it the cops?
Who is this Colonel Buckshot?
What's he like?
I haven't the slightest idea.
I never met the old dear.
Oh, I do hope
he rents us the place.
It's somebody
to rent the place.
- What'll we do?
- "Do"?
Just use your brains.
You put on the butler's clothes
and tell them the colonel is not home.
It's simple.
- Yes, but if they don't...
- Come on!
Wait. Wait, Ambrose.
I think I hear someone coming.
Is this the home of
Colonel Wilburforce Buckshot?
Yes, sir.
Well, uh, I understand
this place is for rent.
Is it? I mean, it is, yes.
Of course it is.
I am Lord Leopold Plumtree. My card.
Hey.
The colonel isn't home. You'll have--
- You wish to see the colonel?
- Why, I'd love to.
Colonel Buckshot!
Oh, Ollie, uh, Colonel Buckshot!
Wait there.
Colonel Buckshot!
What it is, Hives?
Lord Appletree.
He wants to rent a room.
No, no, my dear fellow.
Plumtree. Plumtree.
Lord Leopold Plumtree.
And I want to rent the entire house.
Show then to the solarium.
I'll be right down.
This way, sir.
Good morning.
Many, many, many good mornings.
Have I the pleasure of addressing
Colonel Wilburforce Buckshot?
None other.
Colonel Buckshot at your service.
I'm Lord Leopold Plumtree.
- Delighted.
- My wife.
Charmed.
My wife and I have
just returned from our honeymoon.
The hotel being full,
my dear little wife suggested
that we rent a furnished home.
- You understand.
- Yes, yes, yes.
So we should like
to take possession immediately.
Nothing would give me
greater pleasure.
Oh, besides the butler,
you have maid service?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
I'd like to see the maid, please.
Just a moment.
Oh, Hives, will you call Agnes?
- Who?
- Call Agnes.
Oh, Agnes!
Pardon me just a moment.
Shh.
What'd you wanna tell them
the colonel was home for?
I couldn't help it.
You got me into this mess
and need to get me out of it!
- What do you mean?
- Go put the maid's clothes on
- and we'll get rid of them!
- I'm not going to put--
What a lovely piano.
- It is beautiful, isn't it?
- Do you play, Colonel?
Well, uh, yes and no.
Oh, do wrangle us a selection.
Well, I'll try.
Oh, I say! I say!
I beg your pardon, Lord Figtree.
Plumtree. Plumtree.
Lord Leopold Plumtree.
My card.
Oh! A thousand pardons. My mistake.
Pardon me. It must be the postman.
What do I do with these?
Put them on. You wear them.
Oh, do you play
anything else, Colonel?
Oh, yes.
I'm very efficient at croquet,
Parcheesi and billiards.
Oh!
- You have a billiard room?
- Oh, sure, sure.
I should love to see it.
Quite certainly.
If you just follow me.
- Pardon me, my dear.
- All right, darling.
- Agnes will be right down.
- Thanks, Colonel.
Come.
The billiard room...
Um, right upstairs.
Now, right this way.
There's a beautiful, old masterpiece.
What is the title
of that piece of art?
- Physic at the Well.
- Oh, I see.
- The billiard room.
- Oh, yes, the billiard room.
Uh, that chair is an old heirloom.
There's a picture I must show you.
Uh, that's a gondola going
through the Panama Canal.
In Venice.
Now to the billiard room.
- The billiard room.
- Yes.
Agnes, meet your new master,
Lord Flagpole Crabtree.
Plumtree. Plumtree.
Lord Leopold Plumtree.
- My card.
- That's right.
Pardon me,
are you of any relation to the butler?
Oh, yes, yes, they're twins.
You see, one was born in Detroit,
the other in Mee-a-mee.
I don't quite understand.
Oh, that's all right. Neither do they.
- Agnes, you may go.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, Agnes, when you see my wife,
give her my regards.
Yes, sir.
Let's go to the billiard room.
Oh, Agnes.
So you're Agnes?
Yes, ma'am.
My, what a striking resemblance
between you and the butler.
Yes, ma'am. You see, I'm twins.
How remarkable.
I'd like to find out
a few details regarding the house.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Tell me, Agnes,
- how long have you been here?
- About a half an hour.
Uh, oh...
How silly of me.
I'm so nervous. I mean, a half a year.
To be exact, three months.
How many bedrooms are there?
- I haven't looked yet. You see...
- You haven't looked yet?
Oh, I'm still nervous.
Isn't that silly of me?
Bedrooms. Now, let me see.
Of course, there must be bedrooms.
Fancy a house without bedrooms.
That's silly. Let me see now.
There's mine and the master's,
and master's and mine.
That's four.
Uh, not forgetting
the couch in the hall.
- Then there's...
- No, no, no, no.
There's the master's and yours.
That's two.
Oh, yes, how silly.
Uh, two. Oh, and then
there's the nursery.
- The nursery?
- Yes, ma'am.
Why? I didn't understand
the Colonel was married.
Oh... Oh!
No, of course.
He has that in case of accidents.
Accidents?
Oh, no, no. You misunderstood me,
didn't you?
Isn't that silly?
He has that in case of accidents
to any of the help around the house.
A sort of a kind of a hospital.
- Oh, how noble of him.
- Isn't it?
Oh, right.
Tell me, Agnes, how many maids
does the colonel keep?
Oh, he never tells me
his private affairs.
Private affairs?
Why? Servants aren't private affairs.
Oh, some of them are.
You see,
I'm the only one left at present.
The others left last week.
They had housemaid's knees.
Agnes, wouldn't you like
to stay on with us?
Huh?
Oh, now don't disappoint me.
Say that you will.
You'll be such a comfort to me.
My husband will be away
most of the time.
Oh, say that you will.
Oh, go on.
Ah. At last I have found it,
Lord Appletree.
Plumtree, my dear fellow. Plumtree.
My card.
Plumtree, Plumtree, Plumtree.
I'm awfully sorry.
Now, what did I do
with that billiard room?
That's quite all right, old fellow.
I never play anyway.
Leopold Ambrose. Leopold!
- Are you quite satisfied, darling?
- Oh, perfectly, my dear.
And what good news I have for you.
With the Colonel's permission,
Agnes has considered
to stay on with us.
Why, nothing would please me better.
She's been in my service
since boyhood.
I mean girlhood.
Now, dear, would you return
to the depot and attend to our trunks
while I go over the final details
with dear old Buckie?
Quite right, Plumie.
- Come, Agnes, see me off.
- Yes, ma'am.
You're such a dear.
Oh, Agnes, call me a cab.
- Huh?
- Call me a cab.
You're a cab.
On the telephone!
Are you quite sure
we can take immediate possession?
Oh, absolutely.
I'm leaving in a few minutes.
- It won't be long now.
- Wonderful.
What's the rental fee?
Uhh...
- Will $20 a month be too much?
- Twenty dollars a month?
Yes.
Why, that's practically
giving it away, Colonel.
Well, I picked it up
for practically nothing myself.
What a beautiful car. Is it for sale?
It could be purchased.
Oh, by the way, Colonel,
have you any horses?
I'm sorry.
I've just shipped all of my horses
to my plantation in Kentucky.
Kentucky? What part of Kentucky
do you come from, Colonel?
Omaha. Dear old Omaha.
I thought Omaha was in Wisconsin.
About Agnes' salary.
Oh, don't worry about that.
That isn't due until next month.
Agnes, call Hives.
- Huh?
- Call Hives.
Oh, Hives!
Pardon me just a moment.
Hives will be right down.
- Cigarette, Colonel?
- Thank you.
Uh, won't you have one?
Hmm.
Now, my dear Plumtree.
I think that covers everything.
Yes, I think so, Colonel.
I shall add it up
and give you a cheque for same.
- Very good, very good.
- Two, three, four,
dot, carry the one, two...
Ah, there you are Hives.
- Hives, what is your salary?
- Oh, pardon me just a moment.
Oh, by the way, Hives,
what is your day off?
- Tuesday.
- Tuesday?
Why, today is Tuesday.
However, I shan't alter conditions.
You may have your day off.
Oh, and by the way, on your way out,
tell Agnes I want to see her.
Tell Agnes he wants to see her.
Colonel, you're a very easy man
to do business with.
So they've told me.
You see, the last the deal we had...
Just a minute.
I forgot to pack my bow and arrow.
Oh, Agnes.
Uh, that's my cab.
Get my hat and coat
and go to the door.
Who do you think I am?
Well, goodbye, Plumie.
- Pleasant journey, Colonel.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
What's this?
- You wish to see Colonel Buckshot?
- What?
Why, nothing would suit me better.
Colonel Buckshot!
- Uh, pardon me.
- Just a moment, Colonel.
- Your cheque.
- Ooh, that's all right.
Just mail it to me to South Africa.
Uh...
Did you wish to see me?
- So, you're Colonel Buckshot?
- At your service.
- The last of the Kentucky Buckshots.
- Oh.
Then who do you think I am?
Don't tell me. Let me guess.
Now, just a moment. I'll get it.
Now, where have I seen
that face before?
Now, let's see. Let's see.
Oh, you... No, no, no,
that's isn't it.
It's... No, it isn't either.
- Now wait just a minute. I'll get it.
- Hey.
That's all right, I'll get it.
You just wait a second now.
Don't tell me, Agnes. I'll get it.
I'll get it right out of here.
Just a moment. Now...
- I know who you are.
- Mmm-hmm.
You're Colonel Buckshot.
Right you are.
Police, help! Officers!
Police! Burglars!
Pardon me. Come, Agnes.
Yes, sir.
- Who are you?
- Do you wish to see Colonel Buckshot?
He's in there.
And who do you think I am?
I haven't the slightest idea.
Get out of my house.
Oh, God save the King!
- Help! Help! Help!
- What's going on? Come on, boys.
What's wrong?
The burglars are in there!
- Burglars?
- That's right.
Give him room!
Ow! Ow!
Halt!
Stop them!
Stop!
Subtitles : Deluxe
---
Now, bear in mind, Meadows,
I'm leaving everything in your care.
Be sure that the person
who rents my house is reliable.
A person you can trust.
Yes, sir.
- Very good. Well, goodbye.
- Goodbye, Colonel.
And don't forget to tell me--
Thank heaven he's gone.
South Africa has my sympathy.
What's the matter?
Say, Kelly, did you see a couple
of bozos run this way?
Sure. A couple just went in there.
What's wrong?
Trying to make a hotel
out of the city park.
They even put
a couple of benches together
so that they could have twin beds.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.
And when I told them to move on,
the little fella tips his hat
and said, "Yes, ma'am."
That's what I'm sore about.
He's gone.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Well, here's another nice mess
you've gotten me into.
Yes, ma'am.
Come on, let's reconnoitre.
Shh.
Now, are you sure
you have everything?
Oh, certainly,
I've got everything.
Would you get a move on
before we miss that boat?
- Oh, all right.
- Oh, come on, hurry up.
- Get a move on. Get a move on.
- All right, coming.
But, listen, do you really think
it's safe for us to go away like this
and leave this place until Monday?
Oh, sure. The colonel won't be back
for at least six months.
And what's the difference if we
rent the house today or next week?
- It's the same.
- All right. Go on, go on.
You're always ready to start
an argument. Come on, hurry up.
Oh, and you're always blaming me.
Get out here. Come on.
Let's go out the side window.
Close the drapes.
- Well, this must be the place.
- It's perfectly ripping.
- It reminds me of old England-mere.
- It's just the thing.
Is it the cops?
Who is this Colonel Buckshot?
What's he like?
I haven't the slightest idea.
I never met the old dear.
Oh, I do hope
he rents us the place.
It's somebody
to rent the place.
- What'll we do?
- "Do"?
Just use your brains.
You put on the butler's clothes
and tell them the colonel is not home.
It's simple.
- Yes, but if they don't...
- Come on!
Wait. Wait, Ambrose.
I think I hear someone coming.
Is this the home of
Colonel Wilburforce Buckshot?
Yes, sir.
Well, uh, I understand
this place is for rent.
Is it? I mean, it is, yes.
Of course it is.
I am Lord Leopold Plumtree. My card.
Hey.
The colonel isn't home. You'll have--
- You wish to see the colonel?
- Why, I'd love to.
Colonel Buckshot!
Oh, Ollie, uh, Colonel Buckshot!
Wait there.
Colonel Buckshot!
What it is, Hives?
Lord Appletree.
He wants to rent a room.
No, no, my dear fellow.
Plumtree. Plumtree.
Lord Leopold Plumtree.
And I want to rent the entire house.
Show then to the solarium.
I'll be right down.
This way, sir.
Good morning.
Many, many, many good mornings.
Have I the pleasure of addressing
Colonel Wilburforce Buckshot?
None other.
Colonel Buckshot at your service.
I'm Lord Leopold Plumtree.
- Delighted.
- My wife.
Charmed.
My wife and I have
just returned from our honeymoon.
The hotel being full,
my dear little wife suggested
that we rent a furnished home.
- You understand.
- Yes, yes, yes.
So we should like
to take possession immediately.
Nothing would give me
greater pleasure.
Oh, besides the butler,
you have maid service?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
I'd like to see the maid, please.
Just a moment.
Oh, Hives, will you call Agnes?
- Who?
- Call Agnes.
Oh, Agnes!
Pardon me just a moment.
Shh.
What'd you wanna tell them
the colonel was home for?
I couldn't help it.
You got me into this mess
and need to get me out of it!
- What do you mean?
- Go put the maid's clothes on
- and we'll get rid of them!
- I'm not going to put--
What a lovely piano.
- It is beautiful, isn't it?
- Do you play, Colonel?
Well, uh, yes and no.
Oh, do wrangle us a selection.
Well, I'll try.
Oh, I say! I say!
I beg your pardon, Lord Figtree.
Plumtree. Plumtree.
Lord Leopold Plumtree.
My card.
Oh! A thousand pardons. My mistake.
Pardon me. It must be the postman.
What do I do with these?
Put them on. You wear them.
Oh, do you play
anything else, Colonel?
Oh, yes.
I'm very efficient at croquet,
Parcheesi and billiards.
Oh!
- You have a billiard room?
- Oh, sure, sure.
I should love to see it.
Quite certainly.
If you just follow me.
- Pardon me, my dear.
- All right, darling.
- Agnes will be right down.
- Thanks, Colonel.
Come.
The billiard room...
Um, right upstairs.
Now, right this way.
There's a beautiful, old masterpiece.
What is the title
of that piece of art?
- Physic at the Well.
- Oh, I see.
- The billiard room.
- Oh, yes, the billiard room.
Uh, that chair is an old heirloom.
There's a picture I must show you.
Uh, that's a gondola going
through the Panama Canal.
In Venice.
Now to the billiard room.
- The billiard room.
- Yes.
Agnes, meet your new master,
Lord Flagpole Crabtree.
Plumtree. Plumtree.
Lord Leopold Plumtree.
- My card.
- That's right.
Pardon me,
are you of any relation to the butler?
Oh, yes, yes, they're twins.
You see, one was born in Detroit,
the other in Mee-a-mee.
I don't quite understand.
Oh, that's all right. Neither do they.
- Agnes, you may go.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, Agnes, when you see my wife,
give her my regards.
Yes, sir.
Let's go to the billiard room.
Oh, Agnes.
So you're Agnes?
Yes, ma'am.
My, what a striking resemblance
between you and the butler.
Yes, ma'am. You see, I'm twins.
How remarkable.
I'd like to find out
a few details regarding the house.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Tell me, Agnes,
- how long have you been here?
- About a half an hour.
Uh, oh...
How silly of me.
I'm so nervous. I mean, a half a year.
To be exact, three months.
How many bedrooms are there?
- I haven't looked yet. You see...
- You haven't looked yet?
Oh, I'm still nervous.
Isn't that silly of me?
Bedrooms. Now, let me see.
Of course, there must be bedrooms.
Fancy a house without bedrooms.
That's silly. Let me see now.
There's mine and the master's,
and master's and mine.
That's four.
Uh, not forgetting
the couch in the hall.
- Then there's...
- No, no, no, no.
There's the master's and yours.
That's two.
Oh, yes, how silly.
Uh, two. Oh, and then
there's the nursery.
- The nursery?
- Yes, ma'am.
Why? I didn't understand
the Colonel was married.
Oh... Oh!
No, of course.
He has that in case of accidents.
Accidents?
Oh, no, no. You misunderstood me,
didn't you?
Isn't that silly?
He has that in case of accidents
to any of the help around the house.
A sort of a kind of a hospital.
- Oh, how noble of him.
- Isn't it?
Oh, right.
Tell me, Agnes, how many maids
does the colonel keep?
Oh, he never tells me
his private affairs.
Private affairs?
Why? Servants aren't private affairs.
Oh, some of them are.
You see,
I'm the only one left at present.
The others left last week.
They had housemaid's knees.
Agnes, wouldn't you like
to stay on with us?
Huh?
Oh, now don't disappoint me.
Say that you will.
You'll be such a comfort to me.
My husband will be away
most of the time.
Oh, say that you will.
Oh, go on.
Ah. At last I have found it,
Lord Appletree.
Plumtree, my dear fellow. Plumtree.
My card.
Plumtree, Plumtree, Plumtree.
I'm awfully sorry.
Now, what did I do
with that billiard room?
That's quite all right, old fellow.
I never play anyway.
Leopold Ambrose. Leopold!
- Are you quite satisfied, darling?
- Oh, perfectly, my dear.
And what good news I have for you.
With the Colonel's permission,
Agnes has considered
to stay on with us.
Why, nothing would please me better.
She's been in my service
since boyhood.
I mean girlhood.
Now, dear, would you return
to the depot and attend to our trunks
while I go over the final details
with dear old Buckie?
Quite right, Plumie.
- Come, Agnes, see me off.
- Yes, ma'am.
You're such a dear.
Oh, Agnes, call me a cab.
- Huh?
- Call me a cab.
You're a cab.
On the telephone!
Are you quite sure
we can take immediate possession?
Oh, absolutely.
I'm leaving in a few minutes.
- It won't be long now.
- Wonderful.
What's the rental fee?
Uhh...
- Will $20 a month be too much?
- Twenty dollars a month?
Yes.
Why, that's practically
giving it away, Colonel.
Well, I picked it up
for practically nothing myself.
What a beautiful car. Is it for sale?
It could be purchased.
Oh, by the way, Colonel,
have you any horses?
I'm sorry.
I've just shipped all of my horses
to my plantation in Kentucky.
Kentucky? What part of Kentucky
do you come from, Colonel?
Omaha. Dear old Omaha.
I thought Omaha was in Wisconsin.
About Agnes' salary.
Oh, don't worry about that.
That isn't due until next month.
Agnes, call Hives.
- Huh?
- Call Hives.
Oh, Hives!
Pardon me just a moment.
Hives will be right down.
- Cigarette, Colonel?
- Thank you.
Uh, won't you have one?
Hmm.
Now, my dear Plumtree.
I think that covers everything.
Yes, I think so, Colonel.
I shall add it up
and give you a cheque for same.
- Very good, very good.
- Two, three, four,
dot, carry the one, two...
Ah, there you are Hives.
- Hives, what is your salary?
- Oh, pardon me just a moment.
Oh, by the way, Hives,
what is your day off?
- Tuesday.
- Tuesday?
Why, today is Tuesday.
However, I shan't alter conditions.
You may have your day off.
Oh, and by the way, on your way out,
tell Agnes I want to see her.
Tell Agnes he wants to see her.
Colonel, you're a very easy man
to do business with.
So they've told me.
You see, the last the deal we had...
Just a minute.
I forgot to pack my bow and arrow.
Oh, Agnes.
Uh, that's my cab.
Get my hat and coat
and go to the door.
Who do you think I am?
Well, goodbye, Plumie.
- Pleasant journey, Colonel.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
What's this?
- You wish to see Colonel Buckshot?
- What?
Why, nothing would suit me better.
Colonel Buckshot!
- Uh, pardon me.
- Just a moment, Colonel.
- Your cheque.
- Ooh, that's all right.
Just mail it to me to South Africa.
Uh...
Did you wish to see me?
- So, you're Colonel Buckshot?
- At your service.
- The last of the Kentucky Buckshots.
- Oh.
Then who do you think I am?
Don't tell me. Let me guess.
Now, just a moment. I'll get it.
Now, where have I seen
that face before?
Now, let's see. Let's see.
Oh, you... No, no, no,
that's isn't it.
It's... No, it isn't either.
- Now wait just a minute. I'll get it.
- Hey.
That's all right, I'll get it.
You just wait a second now.
Don't tell me, Agnes. I'll get it.
I'll get it right out of here.
Just a moment. Now...
- I know who you are.
- Mmm-hmm.
You're Colonel Buckshot.
Right you are.
Police, help! Officers!
Police! Burglars!
Pardon me. Come, Agnes.
Yes, sir.
- Who are you?
- Do you wish to see Colonel Buckshot?
He's in there.
And who do you think I am?
I haven't the slightest idea.
Get out of my house.
Oh, God save the King!
- Help! Help! Help!
- What's going on? Come on, boys.
What's wrong?
The burglars are in there!
- Burglars?
- That's right.
Give him room!
Ow! Ow!
Halt!
Stop them!
Stop!
Subtitles : Deluxe