Anna and the Apocalypse (2017) - full transcript

Subtitles by explosiveskull

We interrupt this program

to bring you
an important news bulletin.

The Center for Disease Control
has recategorized the pandemic

first thought to be a super
virus strain of the flu.

It has now been determined
to be a lethal pathogen

seemingly capable
of reanimating...

Have you got
your ticket for tonight?

Dad, I told you,
I've got work.

You deserve a break, love.

I don't need a break.



You won't be saying that
next year

when it's wall-to-wall
lectures.

You heard back
from art school yet, John?

Uh, no, not yet,
Mr. Shepherd.

Is that normal?

- Dad!
- Sorry!

I'm sure it'll be fine.

Hey, why don't you bring Anna
to the Christmas show tonight?

I'm working!

So is he.
John, you tell him!

She can't, she's got to
pay off that ticket.

John!

What ticket?

You said, "Tell him!"



- I didn't say tell him that!
- What ticket?

- It's nothing.
- Anna!

I'll tell you about it later.

What ticket, Anna?

Just...

I'm going on a trip,
all right?

- When? Where?
- Dad.

Well, I hope you checked when
university starts, because...

I'm not going to uni!

I'm gonna travel first.

Just for a year, or maybe...

Don't be so stupid!

See you inside.

Thanks for the lift,
Mr. Shepherd.

You know this is
going to hold you back.

Where are you gonna go?

Australia first.
The ticket's open.

Oh, well, that's all right
if it's open, eh?

Think of all
the beautiful places

you could get
mugged or killed.

Stop trying to run my life.

I'm not
a little girl anymore.

Well, stop acting like one!

If your mother
could see you now...

I can't wait
to get away from you.

Anna.

My parents went to Mexico,

so I'm all alone.

I just thought
it would be nice

to spend Christmas
as a couple.

That's fine.

It's fine. Forget it.

My holiday
gift donation.

Wait!

Sorry!

Don't! I got it.

Do you need a hand
with these, Steph?

No,
my car's right outside.

I guess we're all having
a good day.

You all right?

Never seen your dad
like that before.

You think I'm doing
the right thing, yeah?

Yeah, it's great.

Anyway...

P.E. is calling.

Yeah!

More snowflakes!

That picture's not straight.

Drawing pin
missing, bottom left-hand corner.

Miss North!

Dropped the homeless story.

It's editorial.

You can't do that.

It's a school blog,
Miss North, not The Times.

Council sets our budgets,
so we play nice.

Hopefully, get some
new computers.

With all due respect,
Mr. Savage...

I'm gonna go to Mr. Gill.

- Be my guest!
- Cool!

Headmaster Gill
is all but gone.

Come January,
this school is mine.

Oh. And as I told you before,

park your vehicle
on school property

and it becomes
school property.

Give!

Withdraw your tongues!

♪ As I wake half-dead
In the same old bed ♪

♪ It's a dawn of another day ♪

♪ I feel chained and bound
To this hopeless town ♪

♪ And I know
I must break away ♪

♪ There's a world out there
Why does no one care? ♪

♪ Are they lost
In the games they play? ♪

♪ So much they don't see
But there's more to me ♪

♪ And I know
I must break away ♪

♪ Oh, I've been lying
I've been cheating ♪

♪ I've been fooling myself ♪

♪ Instead of fighting
I've been hiding away ♪

♪ I've been running ♪

♪ Going nowhere ♪

♪ I put my heart on a shelf ♪

♪ And I don't want
To live that way ♪

♪ Trapped in the moment ♪

♪ Ready to fly ♪

♪ I've got to find my own way ♪

♪ Sooner or later
It ends in goodbye ♪

♪ We all have to break away ♪

Chris, your showreel is meant
to tell us who you are.

How would you like
the world to be?

I don't know. Uh...

More robots?

Look, you're a really
talented boy.

But you need
something real to say.

And by tomorrow.
You're already late.

♪ Oh, it's hard to hide ♪

♪ When the truth inside
Rises up like a tidal wave ♪

♪ There's been
Something wrong now ♪

♪ For far too long ♪

♪ And I know
I must break away ♪

♪ Am I lying? Am I cheating?
Am I fooling myself? ♪

♪ Why should they listen
To what I have to say? ♪

♪ Am I just another nobody
Like everyone else? ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't want
To live that way ♪

♪ Trapped in the moment ♪

♪ Ready to fly ♪

♪ I've got to find
My own way ♪

♪ Sooner or later
It ends in goodbye ♪

♪ We all have to break away ♪

♪ I dream at night
Of my escape ♪

♪ How much longer
Must I wait? ♪

♪ Trapped in the moment
Ready to fly ♪

♪ Scared you might fly ♪

♪ I've got to find
My own way ♪

♪ How can I get you to stay? ♪

♪ Sooner or later ♪

- ♪ It ends in goodbye ♪
- ♪ Don't say goodbye ♪

- ♪ We all have to break away ♪
- ♪ We don't have to break away ♪

♪ Break away ♪

Anna!

- Hey, Lisa!
- Oh!

What do you think?

It's like Narnia
threw up over Oz?

I know!

Hold still!

Four more cast members
called out sick.

So we're going to
have to change

the running order,
I'm afraid.

Please try to remember that a
hand sanitizer is your friend.

Kissing on the mouth

is not...

Your friend.

You two!

Why aren't you up on stage?

I'm not in the show.

Ah, Miss Shepherd.

Your father
is doing my lights.

When he has finished
cleaning the toilets,

would you send him
my way, please?

- That's not his job!
- Anna!

It will be soon.

Now where is my magician?

Here, sir!

I think it's about time we had a
little chat about health and safety.

Everybody up on stage, please.

Now!

No, no, no!

Get back on stage this minute!

Flightless chancers!

You are such a child.

A sexy child.

Wait, no.

Goodbye, Nick!

Hey. Come on, come on.
Don't be like that!

Look.

If you wanna hook up

over the holidays, then...

Skip off.

Savage is losing it.

He made Henry Lee cry
'cause he can't breakdance.

Henry Lee has a prosthetic.

And he only has one leg!

Hey, guys!

Yay! Boyfriend!

Ignore him.

Ugh. He's such a prick!

I mean, yeah,
he's got a body you could

- lick chocolate off but you'd have to have...
- Mmm-hmm.

...like, no self-respect
to even think...

I mean, um...

Not you, obviously!

The others!

Not that there's been loads,

you know, it's probably
all just rumors anyway.

I mean, love me!

Hey, guys!

Chris. Uh...

I need you to film something.

Yeah? Cool.
I'll film anything.

Savage keeps screwing
with the blog.

So, um, I wanna bypass
the school completely

and do a video.
Uh...

If we go to
the soup kitchen tonight,

I can have it in
before Christmas

and actually show people
we have a problem.

No! It's the Christmas
show tonight.

And I'm doing a special song
about Santa!

Our teacher said
you need something real.

Um... This is real.

I promise I'll make it back
for your song

and Gran will be there.

She's really excited
to see you, Lis.

All right.

Yeah!

Thank you! Thank you! Cool.

Yeah, um...

Let's see that asshole
try and stop this one!

Uh...

Bye.

Oi, Annie Lennox!

Right. I'm going over there.

Power down your lasers,
Iron Man!

He doesn't have lasers!
They're repulsors.

Well, Nick doesn't need help
being any more repulsive.

Plus, you know it's not like
you could actually do anything.

Hey, did you guys hear what
happened in science? Oh, my God!

Gemma Brand called Miss Hutchie
a Nazi, then got all upset.

She was sent outside,
'cause she thought

Nazi meant the same as OCD.

♪ No such thing
as a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ No such thing
as a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ No such thing
as a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ No such thing
as a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ What was I thinking?
This is nae Disney ♪

♪ I'm way off script
And losing the plot ♪

♪ Things don't Work out that
way I'm not McConaughey ♪

♪ Turning the charm on
Or calling the shots ♪

♪ If this was a movie
Maybe she would be ♪

♪ Willing to share my world ♪

♪ I'm starting to realize
Sometimes the nice guys ♪

♪ Don't always get the girl ♪

♪ 'Cause no
one Ever tells you ♪

♪ When you're young ♪

♪ Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs ♪

♪ We've been living in a lie
For far too long ♪

Man, sit down!

♪ And we're tired
Of pretending ♪

♪ There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ Don't be mistaken
My heart's not breaking ♪

♪ Let them all talk
I don't give a shit ♪

♪ Kill, marry, shag
It's all such a drag ♪

♪ I'm more than a lost piece
Waiting to fit ♪

♪ I'm not a princess sat
In a white dress ♪

♪ Hoping my chance
Will come ♪

♪ They're not my problem
Don't want to solve them ♪

♪ Just want to have some fun ♪

♪ 'Cause no one ever tells you
When you're young ♪

♪ Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs ♪

♪ We've been living in a lie
For far too long ♪

♪ And we're tired
Of pretending ♪

♪ There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ I've got the one
I want right next to me ♪

♪ I hope to God
It works out perfectly ♪

♪ Oh, what if this was all
Just meant to be? ♪

♪ I want a love never-ending ♪

♪ Your love is standing here ♪

♪ It's not belief
I'm suspending ♪

♪ I'll never disappear ♪

♪ I'll get
My Hollywood ending ♪

♪ Ooh-ah ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ 'Cause no one ever tells you
When you're young ♪

♪ I want a love never-ending ♪

♪ Love's not like the books
The films, or the songs ♪

♪ It's not belief
I'm suspending ♪

♪ We've been living in a lie
For far too long ♪

♪ We're tired of pretending ♪

♪ There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ This is not ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ The story you've been
Dreaming of ♪

♪ There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ The one where you get
All you want ♪

♪ So stop your pretending ♪

♪ There's no such thing as a ♪

♪ There's no such thing as a ♪

♪ There's no such thing as a ♪

♪ Hollywood ending ♪

- Oh.
- Fuck! Ow.

You need me to call someone?

I tried. My girlfriend
won't pick up.

And my parents
are in Mexico, so...

Wish I was in Mexico.

Sun, good food.

Tequila.

5,000 miles away
from your weird-ass daughter.

Oh, I'd happily move my dad a few
miles away from here right now.

Can you stop talking?

Try being moved
an entirely continent,

dropped at the first
opportunity.

At least you don't have
a mom that's constantly

on your case
about every little...

I am sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh! Sorry!

You smell like a shoe.

Christmas is fast becoming
my least favorite "C" word.

You wouldn't be saying that
if you were dressed

like a festive legend!

You're right.

Dressed like that, you look
like a massive "C" word!

♪ My favorite dish is fish
Mother flipper ♪

♪ And I eat it
For the hell of it ♪

♪ A nice bit of halibut ♪

♪ That's not the only fish
They got ♪

- ♪ Mackerel ♪
- ♪ Mackerel ♪

♪ I could take more
Than a snack-full ♪

♪ Salmon with some jam ♪

♪ And I could drink it
By the tap-full ♪

Four weeks
of lunchtime rehearsals.

At least they're trying.

♪ They say there's plenty
Of fish in the sea, baby ♪

Very.

♪ But there's not enough fish
For me ♪

♪ Yo, fish is delish ♪

♪ They say there's plenty
Of fish in the sea, baby ♪

♪ But there's not enough fish
For me ♪

Anyway, it's nice of you

to help them out
like this, Arthur.

We can't trust them
to do anything

by themselves, Tony.

Ah.

Hmm.

♪ Snow is falling
On the frosty ground ♪

♪ Christmas cheer
Is spreading all around ♪

♪ It's that time of year ♪

♪ But I'm feeling so blue ♪

♪ There's a lack of presents
In my stocking ♪

♪ And my chimney needs
A good unblocking ♪

♪ Come on, Santa ♪

♪ Dear, I've been ♪

♪ Waiting for you ♪

♪ Let me tell you If you're
feeling Frozen stiff ♪

♪ My fire's
Burning hot for you ♪

Filth!

♪ Let me sit upon your lap ♪

♪ There's only one gift
That I wanna unwrap ♪

♪ And you and me ♪

Pornographic,
salacious filth!

I'm going to kill her!

♪ I've warmed your milk
And made your favorite snack ♪

♪ So come on over
And unload your sack ♪

♪ Tie those reindeer up ♪

♪ 'Cause you may be a while ♪

♪ And I know
How to make you smile ♪

Oi!

Whoever's doing that,
stop it immediately.

I'm warning you.

♪ It's that time of year ♪

♪ It's that time of year ♪

♪ It's that time of year ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Come on, Santa ♪

♪ Give it to me ♪

On, Dasher. On, Dancer.

On...

I forget the other ones.

Firebolt?

No.

That's Harry Potter's broom!

Oh, no.

What?

We can't hang out anymore.

You're too sad.

You've hit, like, peak sad!

Look, they were a very popular
series of books, and...

Sorry, Mrs. Hinzmann.

All right.

Watch this!

Oh. John, wait.

Oh, tits!

"I'll get you some ice!"

Shut up!

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

I've so lost my job!

Oh!

When I was little,

me and Dad
used to have competitions,

see who could
make the best one.

Mum would judge.

We stopped doing it
after she died.

What if Dad's right

and I'm just
screwing everything up?

Look.

You're gonna end up
going to uni,

getting some fancy job

and having
a stupidly-successful life.

It doesn't matter
how you do it.

Besides...

I'll come and visit you.

We can hike
across the Outback.

That's a pretty long hike.

Well...

I'll start running to school.

Get fit.

Deal?

Deal.

- Dasher, Dancer...
- Mmm-hmm.

Bashful?

That's a dwarf.

There's Olive.

You know.

It's in the song.

♪ Olive, the other reindeer ♪

♪ Used to laugh
And call him names ♪

Olive was a dick!

Shit wank!

Mmm.

♪ New morning ♪

♪ Feels different
Than before ♪

♪ It's dawning ♪

♪ This thing
I've been waiting for ♪

♪ And I'm flying ♪

♪ My feet won't
Touch the ground ♪

♪ I'm ready ♪

♪ For turning my life around ♪

♪ I'm waking ♪

♪ Spent too long
Playing dead ♪

♪ I'm shaking ♪

♪ These blues out of my head ♪

♪ Not letting ♪

♪ Anybody bring me down ♪

♪ I'm ready ♪

♪ For turning My life around ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ It's a brand new day ♪

♪ And I'm miles away ♪

♪ I am miles away ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ I am miles way ♪

- Stop it!
- ♪ I am miles way ♪

♪ And it's a beautiful day ♪

♪ It's brighter ♪

♪ The haven streets are clear ♪

♪ I feel lighter ♪

♪ There's nothing
Left to fear ♪

♪ And I'm closer ♪

♪ For a new world
I am bound ♪

♪ Oh, I'm ready ♪

Oh!

♪ For turning my life around ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ It's a brand new day
And I'm miles away ♪

♪ I am miles away ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ I am miles away ♪
- Get off of her!

♪ I am miles away ♪

♪ Everybody's dying here
To tell me how to live ♪

♪ But I'm not listening I've
got so much more To give ♪

♪ I'm ready, ready, ready ♪

♪ I'm ready, ready, ready ♪

♪ I'm ready, ready, ready ♪

♪ I'm ready, ready, ready ♪

♪ I'm ready, ready, ready ♪

♪ I'm ready, ready, ready ♪

♪ I'm ready, ready, ready ♪

♪ I'm ready ♪

- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪
- ♪ Forget your troubles ♪

- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪
- ♪ Let go your woes ♪

- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪
- ♪ Live for today ♪

- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪
- ♪ 'Cause you might ♪

♪ Be dead come tomorrow ♪

- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪
- ♪ The town is glowing ♪

- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪
- ♪ Hearts are alight ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ It's a brand new day ♪

♪ And I'm miles away ♪

♪ I am miles away ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I am miles away ♪

♪ I am miles away ♪

♪ And it's a beautiful day ♪

Hello?

Can you hear me?

I'm a first aider.

I'm just going to
turn you over.

Okay, mate.

Mate! Mate!

Call him "mate" again.
It's definitely working!

- Stay here.
- You stay here!

There's no signal.

Anna.

That guy's a zombie!

There's no such thing.

Right, because
that's perfectly normal!

I can't believe
this is happening.

This can't be happening.

This can't be happening.

Use your inhaler.

When was the last time
you saw me with an inhaler?

Don't have a go at me, just
because I said, "Use your inhaler."

Because there's zombies!

That's stupid!

I never saw my mum
this morning.

Did you see your dad?

I should have
just gone to the show.

I bet they're still
at the school.

Shit!

Maybe the Internet's
still working.

But we can't go
all the way home.

Do you still have
your work keys?

Come on.

Maybe it won't be so bad
across town.

Potassium.

It's okay.

It's gonna be okay.

Our parents will know
what to do.

That's enough!

Now, even though we had
to spend the night

in the school, be assured,

the government
will sort all this out.

We have an army base,
literally on our doorstep.

All that is required of us

is that we remain calm

and patient.

If anyone has
any further questions,

I've set up temporary
office space over there,

adjacent to the fridge.

I'll get someone.

Doctors can't fix it, dear.

Don't think your teachers
could do much.

I'm just worried
about Christopher.

He's seen, like,
every horror movie.

He'll know what to do.

Go.

See?

- Told you it was them!
- Have you been bitten?

- Show me!
- They're fine!

Hey, guys!

Did you guys break in?

Uh, the back door
was unlocked.

That's the cleaner's job!

Oh. Although, she might
have been concussed.

So, uh...

We were out filming
the soup kitchen last night.

It was really good,
and then we...

Then somebody screamed.

Yeah.

Hey, zombies, right?
It's crazy!

I know!

Excuse Anna.

She's in Egypt at the moment.

Because she's so far
in denial!

You're not funny.

Oh!

- Boom!
- You guys heard anything?

Further updates now on
the unfolding global crisis.

Reports of mass infection

with the
as-yet-unidentified virus

continue to come in
from across the world.

- Sources at the UN...
- Whatever.

Big firm has been doing weird
shit for years. It's a cover up.

...historic proportions.

Further information
and details

of the evacuation program
can be found on social media.

Yeah, once it's safe,

we're supposed to go
to the school.

So the school's okay?

Yeah. And the army's
going to escort us out.

How cool will that be?

- Shit!
- What?

Justin Bieber's a zombie!

Also, search "#EvacSelfie."

- Look.
- Oh, no!

Well...
We all deserve to go extinct.

Oh! Bollocks!
He's definitely a zombie.

Robert Downey Jr. has,
like, a bazillion dollars.

He is in a hot tub right now

surrounded by electric fences

and models!

Yeah, but,

it just takes
one personal trainer

with a bite and then...

Uh-uh.

Iron Man lives!

What about Ryan Gosling?

Doesn't matter.

Alive? Dead?
The guy's still cool!

Yeah.

Um... Taylor Swift?

Jesus, Chris!

Why would you even say that?

Tay Tay's fine!

Yeah, all right, I was just...

She's fine!

Do you think
Paris is still standing?

Yeah.

French don't take no shit!

Mrs. Hinzmann?

Um...

No!

They're inside!

- John?
- What do I do?

What do I do?

Destroy the brain
like in the movies!

Get behind the table!

Go, on three!

Three! Two!

I said "after three!"

You said "on three!"
Think about your words!

"Think about your words!"

Fuck off!

Fuck off!

Fuck off!

Can you...
Can you understand me?

Okay.

Yeah! Boom!

Mr. Savage?

Is... Is there anything
we can give Bea?

Am I supposed to know
who that is?

It's just 'cause she's got
a bad heart, so...

Look around you, Miss Snow.

What do you see?

Um...

Tables?

I see civilization
on the edge.

And what does civilization do

when it finds itself
on the edge?

We help each other?

We prioritize.

♪ Staring at a screen ♪

♪ In a neon haze ♪

♪ Whoa
Lost in this machine ♪

♪ And I can't engage ♪

♪ We've become technology ♪

♪ Made of code and binary ♪

♪ What the hell
Is left of me? ♪

♪ Tell me that
It's not too late ♪

♪ How much longer
Must I wait? ♪

♪ I want to communicate ♪

♪ I need
a human voice ♪

♪ Something that
I can hold on to ♪

♪ In all this static noise ♪

♪ I need someone
To break on through ♪

♪ I can feel the hook
Dancing on my skin ♪

♪ Whoa
Everywhere I look ♪

♪ Walls are closing in ♪

♪ I can't
Stand this atmosphere ♪

♪ I don't want to disappear ♪

♪ Help me make it
Out of here ♪

♪ How can we escape
The blur? ♪

♪ Get back to the way
We were ♪

♪ Breathe a little easier ♪

- ♪ I need a human voice ♪
- ♪ I need a human voice ♪

♪ Something that
I can hold on to ♪

♪ Something that
I can hold on to ♪

- ♪ In all this static noise ♪
- ♪ In all this static noise ♪

♪ I need someone
To break on through ♪

♪ To break on through ♪

♪ I lay my head ♪

♪ On my pillow ♪

♪ And pray ♪

♪ That some day ♪

♪ We'll talk in that
Old-fashioned way ♪

♪ There's so much to fear ♪

♪ In all this noise ♪

♪ Oh, all I want to hear ♪

♪ Is a human voice ♪

♪ Just a human voice ♪

Shit!

- What's wrong?
- The snow's gone.

Fucking hell, Chris!
What about the army?

See for yourself.

Everyone's dead.

People will still be waiting
at the school.

We just need to get there.

There's no evacuation coming.

So, we'll get your car
and leave town.

And go where?

Well, I don't know yet, but
we'll figure something out.

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot.

You can do anything.

I'm getting my dad,
all right?

Yeah, and my gran and Lisa.

I want to find
my mum too...

But how are we even gonna
get past all the zombies?

I've just had
the best idea ever.

This is the stupidest
idea ever.

We're all going to die.

We should play a game.

Take your mind off it.

Helps me when I'm carsick.

'Cause this is
exactly the same!

- Steph.
- Yeah?

Um... Marry, shag, kill...

Zombie Miley, Zombie Rihanna,
Zombie Beyonce.

Kill them all,
they're zombies.

No, play it properly!

Marry Beyonce.

- Why are you killing Rihanna?
- That's not what I said.

Well, obviously, you're shagging...

Is it a horde?

One, two, three.

How many is a horde?

Just check!

Shit.

I swear to God, if he says
it's snowing again...

Uh, better.
Killer old people!

What the fuck?

Yeah, an old woman's
sitting on your face.

Oh.

Is she pissing?

You're fine.

It's plastic.

It's warm plastic!

Shit!

All right, losers.

If you were going out,
should've brought some muscle.

Hi, John!

Hi, Nick.

Thought your big army dad

would have pulled you a favor
and shipped you out?

Don't talk about
my fucking dad!

Show some fucking respect.

Says the guy
who just murdered

a whole bunch
of grandparents.

Actually,

can you get that on camera?
It's a bit of human interest.

Ah.

You've been looting.

Lovely!

Where is your dad?

He went to the base.

Sorry.

Whatever.

Shit! Get back under!

Hiding's for pussies,
John boy!

We are hunters.

All right, boys,
what do we have here?

- Are they, uh, excited?
- Yeah, mate. Use that.

They're idiots.

So, yeah, probably.

Oh.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Ladies, why don't you
get behind me?

Yeah, groovy.

Mate, pass me that bat.

♪ The streets are chaos ♪

♪ And the outlook is dire ♪

♪ Time for a hero
To step into the fire ♪

♪ The world's a jungle And
we're close To extinction ♪

♪ This is my moment ♪

♪ And I'll fight
With distinction ♪

♪ Rule one: stay focused ♪

♪ Keep your concentration ♪

♪ Rule two: have fun ♪

♪ And use your imagination ♪

♪ No time for weakness ♪

♪ When the undead
Are waiting ♪

♪ Tool up, get out there ♪

♪ And start decapitating ♪

♪ When it comes
To killing zombies ♪

♪ I'm the top of my class ♪

♪ While you've been hiding ♪

♪ I've been kicking some ass ♪

♪ I know the best
Form of defense is attack ♪

♪ I know what
I'm fighting for ♪

♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪

♪ Life is a big game ♪

♪ When it's over
You're done for ♪

♪ I'm taking my aim ♪

♪ For the maximum high score ♪

♪ Only the toughest
Will survive in this arcade ♪

♪ So follow me ♪

♪ And you'll see just how
The game's played ♪

- ♪ When it comes To killing zombies
♪ -Come on, come on!

♪ I'm the top of my class ♪

♪ While you've been hiding ♪

♪ I've been kicking some ass ♪

♪ I know the best
Form of defense is attack ♪

♪ I know what
I'm fighting for ♪

♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪

♪ I'll crush, I'll chop ♪

♪ I'll maim and I'll batter ♪

♪ Saving humanity
Is no laughing matter ♪

♪ I'll stab, I'll slash ♪

♪ I'll ground and I'll pound ♪

♪ When there's a job to do ♪

♪ I don't fuck around ♪

♪ When it comes
To killing zombies ♪

♪ I'm the top of my class ♪

♪ While you've been hiding ♪

♪ I've been kicking some ass ♪

Fuck you.

♪ I know the best
Form of defense is attack ♪

♪ I know what
I'm fighting for ♪

♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪

♪ I will fight for you ♪

- ♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪
- ♪ I will fight for you ♪

♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪

♪ I will fight for you ♪

- ♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪
- ♪ I will fight for you ♪

Come on, lads.

We can't let the ladies go off
without some real men.

Hey, so where are we going?

Somewhere fun?

People...

People,
you have to listen to me.

We have to stay
in the school.

You have to trust me.

I've devised a 12-point plan.

Arthur. We're on our own.

It's time to go.

We have emergency guidelines
in place for a reason.

We have to hold out.

Enough!

If you love this place
so much,

you're welcome to stay.

But I'm the headmaster.

I'm the headmaster.

I'm the headmaster.

I'm the headmaster.

I'm headmaster!

Come with us, Arthur.
You can help.

Don't patronize me,

you fucking janitor!

After everything
I've done for you all,

this is how you treat me?

This is my school.

Reckon they'll use our stuff
on the news?

It'll make my gran so happy.

That's weird,
isn't it?

I mean, like...

You hear about riots and
revolutions in other countries,

but not here.

We could die!

Hey!

Well, we could, though.

At least you won't be going
anywhere anymore,

so that's something.

What does that mean?

Well...

It's different now.

You can't just leave.

John, you're my best friend,
yeah?

You know that.

Of course.

John.

You're my best friend.

Swap.

Besides, nobody's dying.

I'm going traveling

and you're going
to art school.

Yeah, because
abstract impressionists

are super important right now.

Oh.

You really think
you can still

get away after all this?

Watch me.

Could go through here.
Quicker.

Plus, it'll be fun!

Right, lads?

Yeah! Certain death
is so much fun!

Aw! Don't piss your pants!

Pretty dark.

Yeah, it'll be the same
out here soon.

Look. We go through here,

we might make it
to the school before sundown.

Come on.
You know we've got this.

All right. Fun way it is.

Eh, can we vote?

Yeah.

Here's your vote.

Live or die?

After you!

In you go! Go!

Have a Christmassy Christmas!

Guess there's nobody gnome!

Oh, no!

- Steph!
- Fuck! Chris!

John?

Fuck.

Guys!

Over there.

Come on! Hurry!

Jake?

Tibbsy?

Oh, fuck, guys!

Anna!

- John!
- Anna!

Just get to the door!

Where's John?

- What are you doing?
- Where is he?

Come on!
For God's sake, Anna!

- What are you doing?
- Go, go, go!

- Come on! Quick, quick, quick!
- Come on!

Oh, no!

- My phone!
- Chris!

Are you fucking kidding me?
Come on!

Move, move, move!
Come on, run!

That was so stupid!

I know.

I'm sorry about your friends.

Yeah, they should
have kept up.

You should have
left it behind.

It's just plastic and glass.

And all my photos and videos.

Lisa and Gran.

They're alive, Chris.

You don't believe that.

You think
your girlfriend's dead,

and your parents.

What if everyone is dead?

Then you'll think
of something.

You usually do.

It's actually
kind of annoying.

We good to go?

Or does John need
to change his tampon?

I can really see why you
find him so irresistible!

Shut up.

Come on.

Oh, by the way...

I remembered the names
of all Santa's reindeer.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

- You ready?
- Okay, ready.

So, there's Dasher, Dancer,

Comet, Vixen,

- Cupid...
- Cupid?

I know, right?

Prancer, Donner,
Blitzen and Rudolph!

Come on. Get up. Please.

Get up!

John! John! John!

John!

John! John!

- No, Anna, no! Leave him.
- John!

Leave him. He's gone.

Leave him.

Leave him.
Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

No! Fuck! No!

Hey!

Hey! Your dad's
waiting for you.

Yeah.

Holy shit!

Hurry up!

What?

What are you doing?

I am eating my Christmas
dinner, Miss North.

I expect you'll all be wanting
to see your parents.

You're very lucky children,

because they almost...

Left.

Thank you.

It's locked.

What the fuck?

Do you know, Miss North,
for such a serious journalist,

your vocabulary does leave
an awful lot to be desired.

You're a teacher,
for God's sake.

Not so cocky now,
are we, Miss Shepherd?

I can't wait to show your
daddy what's left of you.

Savage.
Please, please,

please! Oh, God!

- Go!
- Pudding!

- Go!
- Chris!

Everyone, go, go!

♪ Shut up, all you idiots ♪

♪ You little shits
Should listen to me ♪

Get away!

♪ Did I fail to mention ♪

♪ Your attention's
Now obligatory? ♪

♪ All my life they told me
I would never succeed ♪

♪ Put me down, controlled me
Made me follow their lead ♪

♪ Bought the lies they sold me
For too long ♪

♪ But now I'm finally free ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna
Stop me now ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna
Stop me now ♪

♪ It took me time to blossom
I know ♪

♪ But I'm all fired up
And I'm ready to go ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna
Stop me now ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna
Stop me now ♪

♪ I knew that I would
Make it somehow ♪

♪ And nothing's
Stopping me now ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ All you little sleazes
Spread diseases ♪

♪ In your infested beds ♪

♪ Always speaking
Texting, tweeting ♪

♪ Every thought
That's in your vacuous heads ♪

♪ It's been so hard
To bite my tongue ♪

♪ While you fucked around ♪

♪ You just can't see
The damage done ♪

♪ It's all falling down ♪

♪ But youth is wasted
On the young ♪

♪ And now my time
Is coming around ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna
Stop me now ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna
Stop me now ♪

♪ It took me time to blossom
I know ♪

♪ But I'm all fired up ♪

♪ And I'm ready to go ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna
Stop me now ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna
Stop me now ♪

Anna!

♪ I knew that I would
Make it somehow ♪

♪ And nothing's stopping me ♪

I've been calling you all
zombies for years!

Now fuck off!

Where's my dad?

Okay, come on!

I'll go get
my car keys,

you go find your dad.
Meet outside.

Savage!

I didn't mean it about
your parents, and stuff.

It's, uh... It's fine.

I know how I am, so...

Well...

Whatever happens...

You've got us.

Listen.

It's Lisa's song.

Chris?

Baby!

Savage, he opened the doors,

and we had to run, and there
was just so many of them.

But, Bea, her heart...

But we got her up here,
but her heart was...

I'm so sorry.

At least she's not
one of them.

Bye, Gran.

Shit!

Hey, don't worry.
We'll find your dad, okay?

Dream team!

We're a lot of things, Nick,
but we've never been a team.

Hey...

It wasn't me, you know.

That night
you stayed at mine.

I didn't say nothing
to no one.

Wait.

You think that's why
I'm angry with you?

Yeah, obviously.

Nick, I don't care
about the sex.

I'm angry with you
because we shared

all that stuff
about our future,

and you acted like
it meant something,

and then you just dumped me!

I trusted you.

Oh.

That's it?

You are such a prick.

Hey, look. Just 'cause your
little fuck buddy died,

don't go taking it out
all on me.

Don't you dare
talk about John!

What have you ever done that
wasn't just about yourself?

Killed my dad.

He got bit.

So he gave me the bat

and he said,
"Don't you let me down, son.

For once."

So I...

Fuck.

Right, enough of this
pansy bollocks.

Shit!

Right, I'll hold them back.

No, we stick together.

Hey, hey! Zombies, over here!
This way, this way!

Look at me! Zombies, this way!
That's it!

This way! There you go!

You ugly bunch of bastards.

Here! Nice juicy arm?
Come on!

Don't just
stand there like a dick! Go!

For fuck's sake, Nick!

Just go and get
your dad, yeah?

Come on!

♪ When it comes
To killing zombies ♪

♪ I'm the top of my class ♪

Where are the keys?

He's always
taking shit off me

and putting it
in his office.

You two, stay here.

- No.
- No, it's fine.

I've got this.

No, wait, wait, wait.

Look.

Okay.

Oh, no.

Fuck this place.

What are you doing?

Go.

Crawl out.

Take a picture,
take a picture.

Okay.

There you go. Smile!

Cheese!

Look out, Chris! Chris!

- Chris, go, go!
- Lisa. Lisa!

- Get off him!
- Get back!

Stop! Get off!

No, no!

Get off her!

Stop!

Okay?

What do you think?

I love it.

Anna! Run!

How on earth
are you still alive?

Showing off, I see.

Quite the leading lady,
aren't we?

Well...

The stage is all yours.

Why don't you
give us all a show?

♪ It's been said
"The world's a stage ♪

♪ And everyone
Must play their part" ♪

♪ Well, if that's true,
I'll act ♪

♪ With all my heart ♪

♪ I'll take my cue ♪

♪ To go stand
'neath the spotlight's glow ♪

♪ And give them
One hell of a ♪

♪ Show ♪

♪ There are some things
In life ♪

♪ That you just
Can't control ♪

♪ But I'm ready to fight ♪

♪ I was born for this role ♪

♪ I'll do all I can ♪

♪ Before I go to my grave ♪

♪ There is good
on this earth ♪

♪ And it's worth
trying to save ♪

♪ Well, Miss Shepherd
You're so wrong ♪

♪ You don't have a clue ♪

♪ A purge on this species
Is long overdue ♪

♪ All humanity's broken ♪

♪ Our story is done ♪

♪ As the set catches fire
Might as well have some fun ♪

♪ So raise the curtain ♪

♪ Hit the lights ♪

♪ Strike up the band ♪

♪ For the final night ♪

♪ And if it is my time to go ♪

♪ I'll give them
One hell of a show ♪

- ♪ You're a silly, weak girl ♪
- ♪ You're a mad man ♪

♪ I guess The truth can be
hard To hear sometimes ♪

♪ You've been losing your mind
And it's sad, man ♪

♪ No, I finally see
Where I once was blind ♪

♪ And I have never felt
So much bliss ♪

♪ Oh, how can you
Take pleasure in this? ♪

♪ Raise the curtain ♪

♪ Hit the lights ♪

♪ Strike up the band
For the final night ♪

♪ And if it is my time to go ♪

♪ I won't waste a moment,
I know ♪

♪ I'll give them ♪

♪ One hell of a show ♪

♪ One hell of a show ♪

Dad.

Oh.

Group hug.

Dad. Just leave it.

He's not worth it.

You roly-poly,
pig-faced pleb!

Dad!

No, please.

Dad!

No!

No, no!

Come on! We've got a car.

Dad?

No.

No!

No.

They've got to be
working on a cure.

It happens too quickly.

I can't come with you.

- I don't know what to do.
- Yes, you do.

You do. Just like always.

God! If your mum
could see you now.

I'm not crazy about
your boyfriend, though.

He's not my boyfriend.

Well, there's some good news.

You need to go.

I don't want to.

Please. For once in your life,

don't argue with me.

- Do you want me to help?
- No.

Don't.

He's right.

I am so proud of you.

Now go.

Bugger off!

Anna.

Anna, come on,
we have to go.

Come on.

Merry Christmas, Anna.

Merry Christmas, Dad.

♪ When I look back ♪

♪ Over my yesterdays ♪

♪ I was so sure ♪

♪ Certain I'd find my way ♪

♪ But now the world ♪

♪ Oh, is such
A different place ♪

♪ All of my dreams ♪

♪ Are gone without a trace ♪

♪ Where is the light ♪

♪ That used to shine? ♪

♪ Oh, where is the life ♪

♪ That once was mine? ♪

♪ But while there's hope ♪

♪ Oh, while I still breathe ♪

♪ I will believe ♪

♪ All of a sudden ♪

♪ The blood in my veins
Runs cold ♪

♪ Thinking about all the days
That I just let go ♪

♪ If I had reckoned The
seconds would slip From me ♪

♪ I'd have paid
Twice of the price ♪

♪ For the memory ♪

♪ For the memory ♪

♪ Where is the light ♪

♪ That used to shine? ♪

♪ Oh, where is the life ♪

♪ That once was mine? ♪

♪ But while there's hope ♪

♪ While I still breathe ♪

♪ I will believe ♪

♪ But while there's hope ♪

♪ While I still breathe ♪

♪ I will believe ♪

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Boom! Saved your life!

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

Where to next?

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪

♪ There's no such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ This is not ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ The story
You've been dreaming of ♪

♪ No such thing
As a Hollywood ending ♪

♪ The one where
You get all you want ♪

♪ So stop your pretending ♪

♪ There's no such thing as a ♪

♪ Hollywood ending ♪

Subtitles by explosiveskull