All's Well, Ends Well 1997 (1997) - full transcript

Lo King, a dependent playboy, fakes his own mental illness in attempts to inherit the fortune of his two older brothers, Lo Leung and Lo Fei, who are plagued with their own troubles. Leung is a busy businessman who is planning to open a restaurant. Due to his busy schedule, he is putting his relationship at risk with his wife. Fei is a scholar who brings home a finance-troubled girl, Shenny, to arouse hatred in his father (in return with some money) so he can choose to marry his punkish girlfriend, whom his father detests. However, unbeknown-st to Fei, Shenny develops a crush on him.

The congee and fried stick is for grandpa.

Be good... eat more, drink more...

Ham, eggs and newspapers are for husband.

Corn flakes, little sugar
and Pepsi cola is for brother-in-law.

Who are you?


it's ok, get up.

I'll wash my face first.

Forget that, whether you wash or not
you remain the same.

What do you mean? Last night
you said I am pretty.

Of course you were,

as I drank more than 90 glasses.

Don't get out from this door,

you'll scare my family.

Just climb down by the pipes,

go away, go.


You needn't make this fried stick all day.

You don't like it, dad?

No... no...

You may just make some buns,

onion cake and soya milk.

Ok, I will.

Dad, good morning!

Good morning!

Honey, what happened to your head?

I hit something.

Dad, we've signed the contract
of the shop in cheung chau.

I'll go and take a look in days.

Take little fei with you,
he can help you out.

No... I've got to study on.

You graduated two years ago.

But I'm getting my doctor degree today.

Again? How many times have you graduated?

I haven't studied too much indeed.

I only have three bachelor degrees
and one master degree.

This is my very first doctor degree.

Doctor? Which faculty?

Rock blasting faculty.

You study a doctor degree
for rock blasting?

But every work has a doctor
degree in my company.

I did think over last night.

I've finally reached my target in my life.

I must go on studying music.

We're opening a new restaurant
in cheung chau soon,

so you must come and
help after you graduate.

I want to be a singer,

I want to be a wandering singer.

Wandering singer? That means a beggar?

We already have one at home now.

Mind you... please...

Please give me some money.

You want money in this early morning?

You are too much.

Are you my good elder brother?

Of course I am.

So it's natural for you
to take good care of me.

Why put an amulet on?
You're being possessed?

I don't know which bastard
hit me with this.

I don't know either
which bastard put this in my quilt.

I don't know either
which bastard put this in my quilt.

This alarm clock is mine.

- Ass-hole!
- Ass-hole!

I intentionally put this
alarm clock inside your quilt.

You're still sleeping
when I arrive home at night.

But when I go out to work
you aren't back yet.

I want you to get some time
and come to my company...

Don't bullshit,
I went there the year before last.

Do you remember where my company is?

Sure, if not in hk, then
it's in kowloon or nt.

I've just moved it to cheung chau.

Are you trying to trap me?

Have you had breakfast yet?

You guess.

I guess you haven't yet.


What do you want?

Hot pot.

I'll figure it out.

Brother, are you coming to my graduation?

You graduate every year.

Yes, old leung speaking.

Got it... meeting at 9:00?

Little fei.

Hello... yeah...



Hey, little fei.

Right... yes... I'm sorry.

I know that...

Kung, are you coming?

I do want to go,

but when 1 finish
this breakfast, it's sunset already.

I can't help.

What about you, dad?

I have wind-surfing lesson.

What? You're learning wind-surfing?

What's wrong?

Stop kidding! Last time you
said were taking up...


Yes, diving, but he nearly go drowned,

saying someone was robbing him.

Someone was really strangling me.

Then last year you said
about racing in Macau,

in fact, you don't even
have driver's license.

Have you finished?

Look at yourself,

you don't study or work.

You know nothing but get money from us.

I was wrong to give birth to you.


you didn't get my consent
before you gave birth to me.

That's why I'm making you pay the sum,
give me money.

Dare you speak back? Want me to beat you?

Come if you want, come on.

What are you laughing?

I must defeat you one day.

This is why I'm laughing, ha...

Professor Cho.

- Professor Cho.
- Old fei.

Sorry, I should address you as doctor lo.

Now you have doctor degree,

many companies will want to hire you.

I just want to study on.

What faculty?

I want to learn music.

Music? You're scarcely talented in that.

I think one must beat one's weakness
in order to achieve.

I think one must beat one's weakness
in order to achieve.

Just kike Beethoven, he was also deaf.

But your voice is hardly attractive.

No one can tell that.

What if I take you as lecturer,

you needn't waste your time.


I fear.

Fear what?

I fear as I am shy.

Ok, take a rest, take a rest, goodbye.


What does that mean? Bullshit!

No, honey, it's ok.

Thanks, pay those three violinists.

May I take your order?

Honey, I went shopping this afternoon,

so we can eat at home.

Don't you feel bored staying home all day?

Just order whatever you like.

Anything suits me, you decide.

Lobster, it's famous here.

I've bought some fresh prawns,

let's eat at home.

Shall we order steak?

No, steak is viral infected,
we mustn't eat it.

What about polonaise spaghetti?

No, it's not good at all.

Forget it, give me a
glass of aerated water.

Wow! $50 a glass?

It's only $5 in supermarket.

Ok... wife, you decide.

No, you'd better decide.

What if we order butter and bread,
it's cheap and delicious.

What manner is this?

Don't blame her, her suggestion is good.

Is butter complimentary?

Honey, have you had enough?

I hardly feel anything inside.

Over here.

Right, let me bake you some bread at home.

I'll make bread and peanut butter for you.

I've taken butter with me too.

Hey, you stole it?

What? I did pay for it.

I paid so I must take it with me.

Wife, I just want to be romantic with you.

- Come on...
- What?

That... is not the place for normal people.

If... if our friends dump into us here...

We can never clear things up, you know?

We can never clear things up, you know?

All walls are installed with mirrors,
and a moving bed, let's go.

- Moving bed?
- Right.

How come the bed moves itself?

What kind of woman do you take me?

Who did you go with? How come you know?

Wife, I just want to be romantic with you,

don't exaggerate please.

Honey, I think seeing sunrise
in cheung chau is most romantic.

What if we take a boat...

And see sunrise in cheung chau, ok?

I find this...

Wife, I have four meetings tomorrow,

maybe later...

Ok, I have recorded TV
programmers of yesterday,

I haven't watched yet.

Ok, go and watch video tape then.

You decide.

Wife, why are you wrapping yourself up?

I can barely remember
even how your navel is.

What's good with my navel?
Go watch video tape.

Why did you record also
commercials and Mark six?

Right, tomorrow is
brother-in-law's birthday,

what are you sending him?

What did I send him last year?

He's insisted on cash for
the past five years.

Make it the same gift this year too.

How much are you giving him?
Let me prepare.

Only one winner for the
1st prize, $31,800,000.

We'll give him $30 million.

Let's fool him with last
issue lottery ticket.

Good, interesting!

Good morning...

Why are you suddenly so smart?

You look good today.

- You needn't talk sweet.
- We haven't forgotten.

It's your birthday today.

This is present from us.

Five dollars, from both of us,

you think it's gold coin?

This is not five dollars, it's $30 million.

This first prize of Mark
six is $30 million.

We each choose two numbers,
and share the prize if we win.

I'm eldest, number 1, what about you?

[... I'll get number 2.

My waist is 26 inches, 26 then.

Then my waist is 28 inches, I'll choose 28.

Two more numbers, you choose.

I'll get number 3.

No, not number 3.

Number 4 then.

But I am number 3 in the family, why not?

You don't know, there was
one between you and him.

But he died before birth,
so you're number 4.

I never heard you say so.

Just because you are never at home.

Right, you're number 4, get number 4.

Just one more number, choose one.

My waist is 27 inches, number 27 then.

Your waist is at least 37 inches, right?

Your waist is at least 37 inches, right?

What? 36 inches!

No, my clothes make me look fat.

Your bottoms must be 36 inches then.

I think... let's choose these.

1, 2, 4, 26, 28, 36.

Bet on these numbers,
it's being drawn tonight.

We'll share the prize if we win.

Is this all the gift you're sending me?


After you bought the
lottery, come back quick.

I've invited a friend for dinner,

don't come late.

What friend? Man or woman?

A woman!

A woman?

Aren't you gay?

Why did you make such a remark of him?

I mean you!

You bastard!

Little fei, is she coming or not?

She is coming, there may be traffic jam.



What's your name, miss?

Monalisa kam.

What a good name!

We can eat now, come on...

Please... come in.

Come here...

Let's eat.

What dish is it?

Shit, it's cold, how can we eat?

No problem, I can reheat it.

We're all mad, no need.

I could have come on time.

When I was on the way here,
some cars pushed me from behind.

I never panic so I raced with them

and I won $1,000 easily.

Smartie, isn't it your birthday today?

Don't think you're triad member
with that blond hair.

Don't think you're triad member
with that blond hair.

I tell you, we're all triad members here,

we can kill you easily.

Happy birthday.

Miss kam is so pretty,
she speaks english too.

She must have received higher education.

Miss kam, what's your name?

My name is kam, I'm Karen kam,
racing god of tst east.

So that is you? Nice to meet you.

I've heard about you long...

Miss kam, where do you work?

You mean where I fool around?

I usually wander about,

looking for stupid guys.


Ok, no problem,

I know you don't like me at all.

Anyway I have appointment with
foreign guys at bars now.

Anyway I have appointment with
foreign guys at bars now.

Karen, where are you going?

Miss kam, nice to meet you...


Do take care!

Shit, even a blind guy
can tell Karen is an evil woman.

Shit, even a blind guy
can tell Karen is an evil woman.

Karen is my first love,

but you treat her
this way the first time she comes here.

This is going to give me bad influence
in my future love.

Ok, I won't object you next time.

What if your next lover is worse than her?

How come there's worse girl?

Ok, you can choose if there is.

Ok now?

Let's eat...

It's false.


Give me then.

You're growing up, don't be naive.

Your girl is not bad, better than none.

Being a Chinese, why dye the hair?

I'm going to dye my hair tomorrow too.

Dare you? I'll cut off
your head if you dare.

I do want to dye your
hair when you're asleep.

Just try on, I'll cut off your head then.

Dare you sleep? I must dye your hair.

Just try on.

You don't dare to sleep?

Just try on.

I must dye your hair.

Don't quarrel,
Mark six will be drawn soon, come on...

This first prize of Mark
six is $30 million.

The first drawn number is 26.

Got it.

The second drawn number is 28.

Got it too.

The third drawn number is 2.

Got it too.

The fourth drawn number is 4.

We go all four numbers.

The fifth number drawn number is 1.

Good, got it too.

The sixth drawn number is 36.

Wow! We're got them all.

We've made a fortune this time.

Great... $30 million, terrific!

I can't believe it, great.

We've made a fortune,
I never expected to win first prize...

You're lucky,

your birthday present is first prize.

Get the ticket out, let's cheer up.

- Right, hurry...
- Where's the ticket?

I haven't bet it.

You've won first prize.

I haven't bought it.

Then the $30 million is lost?

No, you cheat me.

Smile to us, smile...

I have no mood to joke with you,

that $30 million.

How come I know my waist is 36 inches.

How come I know I'm
number 4 in this family.

You have never told me that formally.

You'll get it if it's your money.

What do you mean?
Give me $100 with your $30 million?

What do you think you are, old bag?

But it's $30 million...

$30 million...



no such person, you've made a mistake.


no such person.


no such person.

Irene > Dolly... linlin?

I've told you:
No! Who exactly do you want?

No linlin? There must be a gigi?

I am her.

Come out!

Who exactly are you?

I'm kung, come out,
I'm bringing you benefits!

Shit, everyone says he's my husband.

Hey, where to?

Why do you ask me out?

Bringing me benefits?
Then why did you draw all my money?

I tell you as you can really keep secrets.

I've won Mark six!

I'll give you $50,000
once I get the prize tomorrow, ok?

You really won?

You can tell I have that luck from my chin,

let's celebrate now.

I'll treat you.


Hello, kung.

Hello, sister coco!

You dumped me for another lover?

Don't you have one too? What's his name?

I'm kei.

Oh, gay?

He's my brother.

You bastard! I tell you,
let's just watch on.

Brother, let's go.

Another round, I'll treat too.

Bring him to me.

Brother smartie buys you a drink.

Bastard, why are you
buying everybody a drink?

I'll buy you a drink...

If you can drink.

I've lost $10,000 to you.

That rich guy is triad member.

Brother smartie, thanks.

Brother smartie, this is from me.

No, thanks.

You're rich? You keep
buying drinks for others.

I have much money.

What do you want to drink? I'll pay.

Let's play with bigger stake,
fifteen-twenty, $500,000 a bet.

I bet all your body-hair

adds up to odd number, you guess.

Then we must spend the whole night here.

No problem, I just fear
you have not enough body-hair.

Get me a pair of pincers.

No, make it simpler, guess the dice.

Don't you know I am the
famous king of dice?

Don't you know I am the
famous monster of dice?

Ok, it's a deal,

$1 million a bet, don't play a fool.

Clear the table.

Two 1s.

Three 1s.

Four 1s.

Five 1s.

- Six 1s.
- Open.

The dice stuck up aren't counted, man.

You didn't say they're not counted.

That is common rule, right?

Must we make all rules clear?

Sure, we must.

Are you trying to trap me?

As you like,

I never trap you, $1 million, open.

You don't believe there are five 1s?

Not so coincidence!

Dear audience, five 1s!


I needn't say who has won now.

Must I say?

Say, you all tell him.

But this side is not 1.

This side is 5,
only the colour comes out,

1 is over here.

Great, boss!

Are you mistaken?
This is not counted, let's play again.

Do you think I will accept?

Ok, I'll pay you back the $10,000 first.

Do you think I will accept?

I will if you won't, it's a deal.

Brother smartie, I tell you,

$1 million is not a problem to me,

because I have won Mark six.

I'll get you the money
first thing tomorrow morning.

No wonder you're king of dice, sure.

What if I write a "bon" note?

That's not reliable.

What if I give you my ID
card and finger prints?

That's not reliable either.

What do you suggest?

I think taking your naked
photos is most reliable.

Where's my camera?


Come on... you're king of dice, right?
Come on.

Get some good snapshots,

make it large...

Take off his socks too.

Why only one? Take them all off!

Right! Ask him to make more postures.

Right, just like this... ok, good!

You're over, you owe others $1 million.

Yes, I can pay off
when I get prize money tomorrow.

But now you let them
take your naked photos.

Make some better photos
if I find them not good.

It's over... I have unlucky feeling.

Will that Mark six lottery ticket...

Shut up! I won't be that unlucky...

How's your headache now?

Why? You seem to suffer nothing
from that accident?

You even put on make-up
and sit beautifully here?

Don't you know what professional is?

Well, I'm always like this,
what's special with accident?

Why wearing a helmet?

You again?

Yeah, didn't I say I would keep you wait?

Doctor said you have concussion,
and must give you a scanning.

I'll give you injection now.

You might just give me some prescription.

- No way!
- No...

Hey, what did you inject into me?


Be careful, police will come
and check your body alcoholic reading.

Nothing serious with your son,

he only has occasional suffering.

I want to use half a catty of game meat,
half a catty of Angelica...

Half a catty of ginseng
apples and oranges...

And boil them with two bow 1s of water.

No need to drink, just drain it away.

Aunt, your son's X-ray film is out.

As he wants to become doctor too much,
he's mentally ill.

He keeps saying he is doctor himself.

Let's arrange for him to
stay in hospital now.

Thanks, doctor.

It's bad!

I forget to scroll round the wards.

Are you feeling alright, sir?
Want some balm?

How come you're drunk like this?

Is it interesting?

Who is it?

Doctor, is his X-ray plate out already?

Sir, are you very worried?

Worried about what?

Aren't you worried police
will come checking here?

Mind if your womb mis-shapes.

This X-ray plate is out,
go and see the doctor.

Damn you! You think I am really nuts?
Go get money at once.

- How is it?
- Come on...

It's inside? Let me take a look...


- Are there so many?
- So many cans? Why?

Is it inside the big one?

I hide it in this can,

it's this can, how come...


What do you mean? Impossible!

How come?

Brother, seems it will work.

We'd better tell kung the truth.

This bastard is emotionless.

So we must play him a fool.

- Where did I put it?
- How come?

You hit your head just then,
did you lose your memory?

I've found it...

- What's on?
- It's real?

- How come so many cans?
- Hurry.

Sir, you didn't win.

No way, please check it again.

I've checked lots of times.

These aren't the six drawn numbers.

What do you mean? I checked
it in front of the TV.

I don't care, they're
not the numbers drawn.

I really checked while
watching TV Mark six.

If lunatics rush here everyday
saying they win Mark six, I'd better die.

If lunatics rush here everyday
saying they win Mark six, I'd better die.

How come there so many lunatics?

I really won Mark six first prize,

why don't you give me money?

Give me money...

I've won first prize, give me money!

You've seen it now?

I really won first prize.

The man on TV told me I won first prize.

No, it's a woman now who
hosts that program.

Not a man anymore? Who
hosts the program now?


You ask the security guards.

Isn't it a man who hosts the program?
No more a man.

Who hosts the program then?

Ng kwan yu...


How come?

Take it easy...

He's our younger brother,
we played a joke with him.

Nothing, it's just a joke.

- I'm sorry...
- Sorry.

- We are only playing.
- Playing?

Yes... it's your birthday
present, happy birthday.

Playing a joke?

You can tolerate such excitement.

What about me?

- It's a small joke.
- What shall we do?

Kung, are you alright?

Did he get hurt in that accident?

He had an accident?

Kung, are you ok?

Bastard, you do keep words.

You come to collect prize money?
Pay your debt at once.

Excuse me...


The X-ray plate shows
the patient is normal.

Then he's alright.

But the scanning of his brain is strange.

Whenever I mention about money,
women, and Mark six...

His brain shows strange response.

That only shows that he is very normal.

No way, I must check again
when he comes round.

I hope he won't be mentally ill.

Brother, we're too much in this joke.

Kung, I have really wronged you this time.

Just don't worry, I'll support your living
for the rest of your life.

None of my business,

I'm waiting for him to pay me back $5,000.

He owes you money? Wife,
pay the debt for her.

Will $4,500 do?

No way! I lent him $5,000.

Thanks, I'll leave now, bye.

What about the money he owes me?

Who are you? Does my son owe you money too?

Not much, just $1 million.


Hey, don't ever try to cheat us.

He did write me a note.

He's fainted, wait till he comes round.

Ok, I'll send these photos
to magazines and newspapers.

Ok, I'll send these photos
to magazines and newspapers.

Doctor checking the wards.

Little brother...

What do you mean?

Sorry, I'm very sorry.

Shit, must I disguise as "dick"
in order to escape?

Stop pushing him, please...

He's mentally ill, sorry...

What are you doing to do?
When will you pay back?


Brother-in-law, how are you now?


I'm charging you with entering
TV games shops in school uniform.

I'm charging you with entering
TV games shops in school uniform.

Hands on the head,

legs inside your mouth,
inside your mouth...

Don't force me to fire...

What shall I do now
you've eaten up the note.

Don't let your brother suffer,
write him a cheque at once.

Ok... I'll write you a cheque,
$1 million, right?

- Brother-in-law, stop fooling...
- Don't come over...


It's enough... it's bad...

Stop fooling...

Time for injection.

Why are you shouting aloud?

I haven't injected you,
the syringe injected me instead.


I like it, I'm just nuts.

Solicitor lau. Coming.

Solicitor lau...

My son had an accident,
he got injured in the brain.

I fear he can't take
care of himself anymore

therefore I want to set up a fund for him.

Then... then I needn't worry anymore.

I want to make him landlord of this house.

I also want to give my $7 million cash

and the shop to my brother.

I will give all my scholarship
to my brother too.

I'll give him all my dowry.

All that adds up to more than $20 million,

it should be enough for your son's expenses
for the rest of his life.

But we need time to let the fund function.

But we need time to let the fund function.

What if he recovers, what shall we do then?

If he recovers, he's then normal.

With money, he'll become lazy,
it won't do him good.

If so, I'd better keep the money myself
to further my studies.

Time for injection.

Catch that patient for me, he's lunatics.

Hey, time for injection.

Pauline, this is kung,

shall we come out for a drink tonight?

What a pity! It's said you
are mentally ill now?

Isn't that better?


you might injure me any moment, nuts!


It's bad!

May I come in?

Not yet asleep?

Do you know b is pregnant,

his wife asks him for an abortion.

It's said the baby's father is li Bo tin,

but it's proved the father is lau lo wo.

He's become more and more serious.

Will he recover one day?

Sure, with this injection.

Not now, wait till I have left.

Help me.

Listen to me,

that lau law wo says
he will never admit that is his son.

Why are my legs aching?

That way.

Why will you come to cheung chau with me?

Nothing special, I want to learn
how to do business with you.

Good brothers!

Is it that way?

Yes, it is.


How long will it take?

Very soon, just two more weeks will do.

Why do you arrange to meet here?

Hello, old fei!


Hey, old leung is here too?

Bastard, you come to meet
your girlfriend in cheung chau?

Shall we try "shantung
fried chicken" over there?

Good... good idea!

Big brother, what about you?

I won't go.

You go, I'll watch on.

Come on, I fear you'll be starving.

Come on, I fear you'll be starving.

It's here.

Please sit down.

Shenny, we have guests.

Please be seated.

My god, it's so dirty here.

You'll break it if you rub so hard.

It's so dirty!

It's old, but not dirty.

What would you like?

What is special here?

"Shangtung fried chicken",
our speciality here.

Such lousy place has speciality?

Miss, we only use fresh chicken.

We steam it first, then fry it.

It's very famous in cheung chau,
people rush here to try.


I don't see anyone.

Sorry, she bullshits.

Two "shantung fried chicken", please.

What exactly do you mean?

We've been here for so long,
we've never been arrear in paying rents.

This is the first time we're late in rents,
and you cast us away?

Isn't this too much!

The foreign fried chicken bar

is willing to rent here for expansion.

They even promised they'll pay for
the rent you owe us

and they'll pay you $10,000

for selling them you shop, do you know?

What did you say?

I tell you, the chicken they make
is unhealthy and tasteless,

no culture.

Let them take over us? No way!

I don't come to beg you,

I come to give you one month's notice.

If you don't pay rent, we'll
barricade this place.

How much do we owe you? Say!

Listen carefully.

Three month's rent, and two month pre-paid,
$50,000 altogether.

Pre-paid? Why pre-paid?

Your credibility is bad.

What did you say?

Take it easy...

I mean business is bad, not credibility.

If you bullshit, I'll turn
you into fried chicken.

Be gentle, take your hands off me.

Anyway, I'll come collect the rent,
I'll come on time.

May I give you $50,000?

I can give you five snaps on your face.

You mustn't misunderstand me.

As I saw your shop runs into difficulty...

If you will become my
girlfriend for a while...

I'll can give you $50,000 as a reward.

Will you please help me out, I beg you.

Don't you have girlfriend?

Please give me 3 newspaper.

Granny, don't you like photography?

Yes, I do.

A famous photographer has published a book,

with a complimentary fiction.

Does it?

How much is it?

$30 a copy.


Is the story good enough?

That story is called blue
story on blue bridge.

I'm sorry, brother-in-law,
let me clean for you.

Your story teaches woman
to take up secret lovers.

So they suit us, but not you, I mean it.

You don't know,

being a professional
housewife is so boring.

Let me tell you.

You'd better have facial treatment
and fix your teeth.

If you look horrible,

you're forcing my brother
to take a concubine.

Brother-in-law, aren't you mentally ill?

But why you say is so normal?

Is it?

I'm sorry, I forget I am mentally ill,

I pissed on my trousers.

Do I really look horrible?

No, just a little.

Look, how nice it is?

Is it pretty?

Yes, very pretty!

This is called five luck,
it brings us luck.

Does it?

Little fei is bringing
a new girlfriend home for dinner,

sorry to bother you again.

I should do all this.

Dad, I wonder that
little fei's now girlfriend is like?

Dad, I wonder that
little fei's now girlfriend is like?

I'm sure she's much prettier
than that Karen kam.

Miss the white ball, deduce 4 marks,
dad, you have 4 marks.

You intentionally block my ball,

you need money badly?

Take this money.

This is techniques.

Thanks gods I have my tricks.

This ball is a bit yellow,
old bag, what shall we do?

Yinsu, change a pear for him.


This is the girl I met
in cheung chau, shenny.

How are you, uncle?

This is my younger brother,
that is my sister-in-law.

Let's sit a while in the sitting room.

Son, let's go over.

I want to finish the game first,

go serve her.

Be polite to the guest.

Shenny, it's said you run a fried
chicken shop in cheung chau, right?

Yes, I've run it for years.

How many members are there
in your family?

Where is your homeland?
How long have you been in hk?

Just me and my mother.

Were from Peking, have been
in hk for 7 years.

Then... your father? Is he here?

Daring ass-hole! Dare you bullshit?
Beat it.

Little fei, what is happening
to your girlfriend?

She's not my girlfriend now,
she's judge pao.

Someone come! Get the head chopper here.

Why does she become judge pao suddenly?

Take them all out
and chop off their head.


Dad, are you ok?

Take them all out
and chop off their head.

Oh, orchid!

Uncle, where were we?

I tell you, your house is haunted.

Right, shenny is the famous
luck-teller in cheung chau.

I guess she must have
seen something just then,

and cast it always.

Dad... you give her some money, please.

Give her $5,000.

Good luck come.

Good luck come.

Take this money, take it as deposit.

You sit for a while.

Kung, what are you doing there?

I'm not kung.

Who are you then?

You can't tell though I keep jumping.

You know now?

What do you want?

Get me money, must be more
that what you pay that girl judge.




Will you stop fooling around?

Were in trouble water,
so please stop fooling.

Don't think you can do anything
as you have mental illness.

Must I snap you on you face?

You're happy now?
You feel comfortable now?

Then be good... and go to sleep.

Honey, what happened just now?

Nothing. He gave me some fists, while
I paid him several thousand dollars.

Little fei.


See your girlfriend
back to cheung chau now.

It's late, there's no ferry service.

Dad doesn't seem to like her.

Do you mean that? Then I can choose now.

Yeah, dad doesn't like that girl.

He even asked me to watch her closely.

Watch her closely then!

It's suffocating here.

Let me switch on the ventilator.

You acted very well.

Your brother acted even better.

I pretend being possessed,
but he seems to be really possessed.

Tomorrow evening well
invite some friends to dinner.

You must act better

to make my father hate you more.

Then I can be with Karen kam.

You can easily get that
$50,000 reward too.

What is Karen kam like?


But not too pretty though.

What about her behaviour?


But not too good.

Her character?

I don't go on with her too well.

Then why do you love her so much?

Because she is my first love.

What happens
if you meet another better one?

I don't know how to handle
such complicated matter.

Right, I've asked Karen
to go to repulse bay tomorrow.

Then I have a pretext

and take you and kung out.

What about me?

You take care of kung for me.

Me and Karen will be away for a while.


Ok, its late, take a rest now.

You sleep on the bed,
I'll sleep on the ground.

I know they conspire and cheat us,

we must not trust them.

Yinsu, yours is a bit...
Strange and weird.

I know.

It's good to have her here anyway.

I will, father.


Have you your tooth fixed.

Ok, I'll go next week.

Hey, kung.

Seeing you're always at home,
let me take you for a ride.

Sleep for a while.

Just tell me you go wooing girls.

He's pretty sober at times.

Stop! Stop...

What is it?

Pregnant woman, giving birth any moment.


Don't stop, were in a hurry.

Why aren't you sympathetic?

Karen hates others to be late,
we mustn't stop.

You're worse than animals.

You'll be paid for this evil deed.

You're evil!

You get paid off now.

What world is this?
Hk people are really without sympathy.

Let me handle!

Hk people are really without sympathy.

Why are you out with
so many plastic legs?

There're still many here.

Good quality.

Hey, Karen.

My car is down, they tyres are flat.

All four tyres are flat?

No, just one of them.

Take care.


Karen! Karen!

How come you arrive so late?

Mr. and Mrs. ting are arriving soon.

Must you be so formal?

Listen, when I first came to hk,

it was his father
who lent me $500 to start my business

I do remember this all my life.

I know they are kinky,

but please tolerate all that.

Go and wash your face.

Come on, let father help you to bath.

Is there any here?

Brother kau...

Sister kau, long time no see.

How are you... you're still alive?

- Lets get inside...
- Good

why are you so weird?

This horse is all right.

Please be seated.

Right, this sausage is made in uk.

It suits those who have high cholesterol
value and want a chronic suicide,

do think it over.


This is may daughter-in-law, yinsu.

Greet Mr. and Mrs. ting.

How are you, Mr. and Mrs. ting?

Where is her husband?

He's gone to cheung chau.

What does he mean?

He goes away
when seniors like us are coming here?

Why does he go to cheung chau?

He must be going there for wooing.

You know,
its a trend to get a concubine in hk.

Oh, facing a wife with outpost teeth!

This is my second son, little fei.

Greet Mr. and Mrs. ting.

How are you, Mr. and Mrs. ting?

And the one next to him?

His girlfriend, shenny.

Greet Mr. and Mrs. ting

How are you Mr. and Mrs. ting?

You don't look like native people,
where are you from?

I'm from Peking.

Oh, mainland girl?


Where is there a fly?

On your lips!

You are ignorant.

This is not a fly, this is a mole.

This is a luck mole.

I get worried about you.

Those guys from mainland
all become robbers

and those girls from mainland
all become whores.

I wonder that hk will become after 1997.

It's so troublesome...

Luckily we've already
become British citizens.

We can enjoy peaceful life back
in uk after 1997

Isn't China your homeland?

You nuts! I've been British
citizens for ages.

I'm learning english too,

my engish name is... Ric..


chard, Richard

why don't you have your hair dyed blond?

Why don't you wear tinted contact lenses?

Maybe you'll give fragrant fart.

Good idea.

I will consider that.

Consider that.

It's a shame for China
to have people like you.

What did you say?

I'm shameful for your mom and dad.

You become foreigners instead of Chinese.

Hey... old bag, you see now.

What rude remarks! Scold him back.


I agree with you, I can't
tolerate them anymore.

Old bag, you're so forgetful.

If my dad hadn't given you $500,

you'd have starved to death.

Right, you might all become beggars now.

Dont't... don't come over. Stop fighting.

My handbag. Handbag.

Don't come near.

"Since I met you by the river side."

"I've been suffering from love."

She used to come while singing
whenever I dated her.

It was great scene kicking
ting kau yesterday.

Introducing you a pretty girl today?

"Don't ever forget me."

Long time no see.

How are you?

Fine, how's your wife?

She's passed away.


And your husband?

He passed away too.

Very good too.

This is...

This is my son.

Get up and greet.


This is my daughter, little suen.

Greet uncle.


Sit down...

He used to be clever,
but hit his head in an accident

and he becomes a bit retarded.

My daughter has been very smart

but I don't know why she becomes this now.

Maybe this is a trend among youngsters.

Since the death of your
wife, have you... that?

I have to work, and take care of
these three children,

I don't have time...

What about you?

Luckily my husband left us some money.

I mean if you have...?

I was going to... but...

But my daughter suddenly
becomes like this.

So how can I do that?


Look, they're just two of a kind.

I'm so sorry that we couldn't get married

but our next generation may...

- What if we let them get married?
- Good idea.

Hey... no.

I, I'm idiot.

You idiot? Look, she's more idiot than you.

No I'm really... really sick.

Why don't you go and enjoy yourselves?

Right, let's go out... and play.

- Come on...
- Let's... go to.

Good... let's go to play.

What this and that?

Kill you.

It's useless to know kung fu.

One must have mind.

You're not too nuts, you
can still be saved.

Take some pills with water, go,

get some water there, be good.

I tell you.

Don't think I am really lunatic.

Do you know?

I pretend nuts as I don't want others
to cheat my mother.

Nuts! You're really lunatic.

You even eat a stone given by others!

You pretend nuts too?


Be careful.

It's a deal, young man.

Hey... what if we play more fool?


When we arrive Peking.

I want to go to great walls first.

Someone is glancing at your album.

It's a pretty girl.

Go ahead.

Come here.

Mr. long, how are you?

You're my fan?

I am your fan?

No... I'm your fans.


No... I'm your fans.

You like take photos too?

I do envy you.

My world is only in the kitchen.

While you can go to visit
pyramids, the himalayas.

Why don't you take a photo with your fan?

Why don't you take a photo with your fan?

Good... a photo together...


Take photo.


Come on...

What is your name?

I'm yinsu.


People rarely have his name now.

Come on... thanks...

Thanks everybody.

Stop fooling. It's not interesting at all.

Miss shenny, you're planting?

Last time I spoilt your dad's five luck,

this is eight luck.

I bring this for him.

Miss shenny,

you're so kind and sympathetic.

My brother is lucky.

Aren't you lucky?

Nuts! I'm not nuts!
You're not being possessed either.

You think I don't know.

We've agreed not to reveal our secrets.


You love my brother?

What is it?

You might tell me.

Only my loving him won't work.

He's calling up Karen and
begging her right now.

Bullshit, look at you,
you're wearing in unisex.

Do you know one must have
good taste in clothes.

A girl must know how to
make up, look at me.

Help me out.

Take this and make up yourself.

No way.

For the good sake of my brother, go

Miss, this is not bad.




Wow, you're much prettier now?


This is not bad.

It doesn't suit me, I am just looking.

You must try on before you know.

No way.

- Try it on...
- This is too sexy.

Come on... try it on.

This is... to sexy, no way.

- Very pretty.
- No way.

Wrap it up.

I'll go up first.

What's on?

I have something to tell you.

What is it?

It's the end of the month.

You still owe me $45,000,
when will you pay it off?

No way.

I asked you to come so
that my father hates you

but my father doesn't hate you,

but the family likes you instead.

How can I pay you as you
haven't achieved that?

Furthermore, I had a quarrel
with Karen just for you.

Forget it.

What do you mean?

Don't worry, I won't earn your dirty money.

See you.

No, let's not see again.

Goodbye, handsome.

Bye bye

oh, shenny.

Where are you going?

Hey, you want to see little fei?

Karen kam, you haven't died?

Bye bye.

Oh, no, that was my younger brother.



Kung said you got me this eight luck,


I must apologize,

I pretended to be possessed by judge pao.

I know.

I pay you back this $5,000.

No, this is a gift from me.

No, I mustn't take it, I'll leave now.

You're leaving?

No one will see you out?

No need.

Come and see me in cheung chau.

Karen, take it easy, listen to me.

Go and chase your girlfriend.

You'd better drink some water.

My mother didn't wrong
you, she died ages ago.

Can't you just respect her a bit?

You think only you speak foul language?

This is abrabian,

saying you're a louse egg
inside camel's shit.


Why did you make your face
like a monkey bottoms?

Don't you like this?

You nearly scared me to death,
I though you're flirting.

Honey, we haven't...

Haven't what?

I have a meeting to attend
to tomorrow morning.

You'd better take a bath and sleep early.

Why buy so many cosmetics products?
You're flirting.

How can they publish women's
secret lovers? Shit!

My darling yinsu, from dream boy.

Who is dream boy.

This dress is so sexy.

The split is up to the hips.

Who will you wear this for?

Monkey affairs?

I'll change clothes.

Want me to help you change trousers?

Want to die?

Hi, I am muscle, and you?

I'm called Bo Bo.

Bo Bo?

What a good name!

Do you come here often?

Just occasionally.

No wonder you have such good figures.

You really have great body.

Tell you, I also have
this equipment at home,

you can try to exercise your waist.

I don't think you only want exercise?

What else do you want to do?



Who is this?

This? Your friend!

Miss, don't say I'm busybody,
but judging what you've achieved.

Your triceps is bigger than biceps,
your back is thicker than your busts.

You just look like a stapler.

Look, you made her angry now.

Why are you standing here
and not change clothes?

I'll take sauna bath.

Hurry up, lousy.

Miss, we two are destined together.

I've won Mark six, shall
I invite you to dinner?

You prefer caviar of truffles?

Hey, a portion charges $20,000.

Stupid boy.

It's me.

Stupid girl.

Why are you so smartly dressed today?

I was born smart, you... can be smart too.

I used to play sports.

Though my father failed
to marry your mother,

I've found you now.

Let's go dinner, and chat.

Do you know?

I pretend lunatic as I don't want men
to cheat my mother.

I pretend lunatic as I don't want men
to cheat my mother.

Let's chat while dining.

Do you want truffles? $10,000 a portion.

I don't like dining
with a man in a suit, this is ok.

Wearing a suit is just the appearance.

Inside you can still find breast muscle,
belly muscle.

Man, how big is your breast muscle?

Just the size is not
enough, must be tough too.

Not only touch,

must move too, moving like this.

Your friend?

He's my boyfriend.

You know she's my girlfriend, you...

Let you have her then.

When did I become your boyfriend?


Why are you back so early?

I have a gathering tonight,
I want you to be my partner.

Change clothes, dress as pretty as you can.

I'll be waiting for you, quick!

She must be wearing that sexy dress for me.

Don't think astray,

she's called yinsu,
so she must be kind.

She'll never dump you.

What are you murmuring here?

Nothing, dad, you...?

You two are going to candle-light dinner,
and no one cooks

therefore I'll become the cook.

Yinsu is coming down.

Will this do, honey?

W ait.

Your... your dress?

What's wrong?

I won't go now.

Why don't you go now?

It's been cancelled.

How come has it been cancelled?

Because of typhoon.

There's no typhoon, the weather is so good.

Where are you going?

Going to a meeting.

You didn't mention it just then.

They've just called me up, why?

Forget about him,
he's been under great pressure recently.

Dad, I'd better cook dinner for you.

Let's cook together.

My dear buddies.

This book is great, you must go through it.

What? Nocturnal emissions?
It's a porn book.

It takes time to read as it's so thick.

You've read it already,
why don't you tell us the content.

This book is about a photgrapher,
I have a suggestion.

I'm make myself the character.

- Good.
- Good. Go ahead.

I'm arriving the bridge,

a very big, beautiful bridge.

The frame is novel, so I
want to take some photos

but I soon lose my way.

Sir, you've drunk a lot.

Suddenly a woman comes to lead me the way.

Is she pretty?

She can't be described as pretty.

She's just the woman among women.

She's like the news reporter
at the CNN channel.

She's like the news reporter
at the CNN channel.

Smart and clever woman.

Is she pretty?

She... can really attract
middle-aged men like us.

She's the kind of perfect housewife.

Yinsu, lousy housewife.

Don't shout, listen to me first?

Don't interrupt.

That is a perfect housewife.

Indeed she's a very clever, humorous woman.

She's also very sexy too, very attractive.

But her husband doesn't
understand her at all,

never cares about her.

My appearance at that
moment is vital to her.

My appearance has charmed her so much.

She invites me to dinner,

and wears the pretty
evening dress I buy her.

We drink together.

We dance together,
we even listen to music together.

And then we...

What do you do? Go on...

Say... what do you do?

We then kiss.

Great, good point.

Hey, do you go to bed?

You want to know?

I won't tell you.

I hope you can think of
the result of the story.

I say,

he must have slept with
that lousy housewife.


Do you sleep with you at last?

Sir, you're drink?

Do you sleep with you at last?

Sir... whether he sleeps with her
has got nothing to do with you?

Why not? That lousy housewife is my wife.

Marie striple is your wife?

Sharon stone is my wife then.

You fool me?

Beat our idol?

Morning, dad.


What breakfast is there?

Dad, I have something to talk to you.

Go ahead.

I find I can't go on with yinsu, I want...

Want what?

Don't ever divorce with yinsu.

Listen to me, I surely have a reason.

Reason? You want a concubine.

Look, you must have been beaten up

as you seduced other's wife.

Say no more.


If you dare to divorce with yinsu,

you aren't no longer my son.

Never mind him.

Even if he gets a concubine,
I won't let that woman in here.

What are you looking?
You've never seen turnips?


Haven't seen you long?
You come to exercise?


What's wrong with you?

You're sad?

Yes. I've very bored.

My two elder brothers lost their lovers.

It's none of your business, right?

They are so good to me.
I know about brotherhood love only now.

How precious is it?

$20 million.

Where's your boyfriend?

I don't know how to play.

You woo a girl though you're lunatic?

Bill, please.

Nuts, I am destined to be with you.

Since it's fate, let's play a game.

Let's go...

$1,000 for a point.

I don't know how to play.

Then $10,000 for a point,

what do you think?

$10,000 if we miss a ball, and double up.

If one hits three balls consecutively,

he gets $30,000.

If you hit the black ball by mistake,
you'll be in bad luck.

You have to compensate $490,000.

Whoever retreats now is damned fool.

Why don't we bet $1 million with stone,
scissors and paper?

Whoever backs out now is damned fool.

Paper from me. Come on.

Yes, pay me, $1 million.

Pay you? Want to deny losing?
So many people see it.

Who saw it?

Did you see it?

Ass-hole, so you played a fool to me?

Beat him up for me.

Must I teach you a lesson?

You'd better hide yourself up.

Want to run?

Where are you going?

I'm getting late supper.

You know I am mighty now?

Nuts... no... hero, please spare me.

What if I give you the money first?

If not enough,
I'll have it send to you tomorrow morning.

Say, how am I going to believe you?

What do you want then, hero?

Make that side brighter,

I want stronger light there.

Adjust the aperture to 11,

don't let reflection spoil the picture, ok?

No... I can only make it to 4.

How about the bottom part?

Bottom part? Not bright enough.

It's ok, I can increase the aperture.

No need for that reflecting board,

just brighten the light near his bottoms.

Come on, don't cry, no sunshine now.

Act gracefully, rub your boss's tears away.

Lift up your head...

Life up your head.

Raise your shoulders too.

Still higher, lift up the bottoms a bit.

Still higher... higher.

You show him the posture.

You're high enough already.

Just lengthen the front a bit more...

Tongue, oh man, take it easy,

this is a high-class place.

Don't spoil the party.

Yes..., beautiful, wonderful, I love.

Don't stop, yes.

Is there sun-tan oil?

One that makes the body shine.

No sun-tan oil here.

Only balm, I'll get it.

Are you alright?

I'm fine.

You get late supper at 7:00 pm?

Are you very hungry?

I fear you're starving
as you fight so hard.

You're strong, you didn't injure
in the hand despite the long fight.

Do you have girlfriend?


I don't like others having two lovers.

I'll definitely kill a guy
who has two girlfriends.

Furthermore, I hate one-night stand too.

I just... can't bear it.

I feel uneasy just by
hearing one-night stand.

I feel uneasy just by
hearing one-night stand.

Don't try to run down on such people
if you're one of them.

Horrible, how come I run
down on such people?

Little suen, please don't make
such a remark about me

I'm not that kind of person,

I am not that irresponsible.

I get uncomfortable...

Just by thinking about such evil deed.

I... I want to vomit.

Little suen, I really can't accept,

I can't even mention that.

Give me warmth, just give me some warmth?

How do you feel now?

Eat something to warm yourself.

Didn't you say you're
going for late supper?

There's a good restaurant up there.


It's fully occupied.


You're a lady after these years.

Who is she?

I'm his girlfriend.

Please wait.

Hello, kung.

Who is she again?

I'm his final girlfriend.

W ait.



I'm his one-night stand girlfriend.

W ait.

Hello, kung.

His first lover.

W ait.



He loves me secretly.


Kung, it's good you're here.

What a coincidence you're here!


And this?

This has nothing to do with me.


He's the one who taught me
to cook curry chicken.

The bell rings, please go out.

I don't mean you.

Why are you so smart today?

I must win over you today.

Take it easy, no...


No way.

No, I won't let you win.

Just let me win one time.


I mustn't let you win as
I don't want you to be in comfort.

I'll give it all to you.

Son, come here.

I have something to tell you, drink it...

I've kept these words for years,
I just want to tell you now.

You're the one I pamper most
among you three brothers.

As you resemble me most.

You're as smart as me.

I used to be smart and
horny when I was young.

I did have sexy eyes.

You look like me so much.

But as you grew up...

I find you always stand against me.

Maybe you're like me too much.

I'm sorry to you.

I didn't teach you well,
and you became lunatic.

Do you know, how many times I just want..

The one lunatic is me, not you.

Go to sleep now.

Dad, you make me cry now.

Dad, you make me cry now.

Son, what's wrong with you?

Dad, I'm sorry to you.

I'm sorry to you indeed.


To tell you frankly, I am not mentally ill.

Brother, let me tell you frankly.

I couldn't help myself out
so I pretend lunatic,

I don't want to cheat you anymore.

I don't want your fund anymore,
I'll get myself a job.

He's very ill, let's call for doctor.

Oh, trust me.

Go get the nurse here.

Brother, you didn't know you're in luck.

Shenny is a good girl, go chase her back.

- He's really normal now.
- Of course I am.

My wife has eloped.

Yinsu left an letter and left.

I asked her to leave.

Why did you ask her to leave?

She's a good wife, why you
frame her take a man?

Where has she gone?

Can't you be a bit romantic?

You can see her when you go
for sunrise tomorrow in cheung chau.

Don't wait on, go to cheung chau at once.


You go too.

What about you?

It's midnight,
I'll wait till there's ferry service.

You're really a good man this time.


Wife, I finally see sunrise with you.

May I ask you a question?

Go ahead.

Do you mean to wear this
sexy dress to watch sunrise?

Do you mean to wear this
sexy dress to watch sunrise?

Do you remember what occasion is today?


Our wedding anniversary.

I meant to buy this dress
and wear it for you.

Wife, you're so pretty.

You've had your teeth fixed too?

Therefor I've decided
to get 3 months' leave.

We'll go to the himalayas and the pyramids.

We must see sunrise in all countries.


Shenny, didn't you say you can get $50,000
by the end of the month?

I don't have $50,000.

I learnt on thing
which is more important than money.

What did you learn?



Why are you here?

L... come to help you do the packaging.

We come to help you do the packaging too.


You're shenny's mother, right?

Yes, I am...

I'm father of little fei.

How are you?

Sit down... make yourselves at home.

Time to pay rent again.

Why are you so kinky?

Man, I'm not only take rent,
I also take others' life.

You've done this action twice,
you needn't repeat.

Really? I don't think so.

It's dangerous as you don't think so.

Man, take this cheque.

Take a look. More than the exact amount.

Take it now.


- Mind your steps...
- Goodbye.

Dad, you're too polite.

I put a handerchief in his pocket,

of course licked with a bitch's gland.

Fifteen minutes from now on.

All dogs in cheung chau
will be interested in this guy.

All dogs in cheung chau
will be interested in this guy.

So you take philtre as balm?

We must take snapshots of this,

is there a camera?

I'll go and get one.

Get some snapshots back.

Sorry to make you pay for our rent.

No problem, we're a family.

What family?

I always want to run
a roast duck shop next door to here.

I have a better suggestion,
let's break down the wall

then we can run the shop together,
and make good packaging.

We must defeat the foreigner chicken shop.

Good idea.

Good, both my two brothers
are in couple now.

But I fail to get one, how stupid I am!

Is there a seat?

Get a number first.

Is there bonus?

Good... you'll be the boss's wife, ok?

Quene up now.

Is there bonus?

Tycoon sing? Congratulations.

What have you been doing recently?

Tycoon sing? Tycoon sing is over there.

Luck comes.

I know luck comes, great,
it's pauline yeung.

This is my younger brother little kung.

Wong pak ming, cheung kin ting,
chow sing chi, god of breast, wu sien lin.

You managed to invite so many stars here?

They are all my old clients.

So they come here to congratulate me.

Oh? Except for Tom Cruise,
Julia Roberts, Antonio,

Marie striple and her majesty,

all movie stars have come.

There's still someone.

Look, see who is here?

Boss, congratulations.


Where's your father and brothers?

They've serving guests inside.

I'll go find your father.

So many people here, so don't make a mess.

What? Look, you all see now.

Ass-hole, so you played a fool to me?

Beat him up for me.

Girl friend?

You aren't gay?

Why do you make such remark about him?

He's lunatics.


Go ahead...

Left, right... you left
right, left right again.

Not bad.

Is there...


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