...All the Marbles (1981) - full transcript

Harry manages The California Dolls, a female wrestling tag team endlessly touring America, and he's also romantically involved with one of them. Their fortunes seem on the slide (particularly when Harry accepts an engagement involving mud wrestling!) but then the big grudge match beckons.

- Hang on.
- Come on.

Watch out for her hair.
Watch on that hair. Will you?

Come on! Let's wrestle.
Let's go.

Are you crazy?
Do your job.

You better stay
out of this, lady.

- She's not choking her.
- I know, I know.

Baby, hang in there.
Hang in there.

'Alright. You got it.
Come on.'

Just stay out of here.
Just stay out of here.

Get out..
One, two, three.

'Beautiful. California Dolls.'

'Go get 'em honey.'

- Go get her.
- Come on. Let's go.

- Come on, stop that.
- She's chokin' her.

Choke! Come on, ref.
Hey, hey!

Let's go. Call it.
How could you not call this?

- 'Move on'
- No holding.

What are you waiting for.
Come on!

- 'Oh, that's cool.'
- That's enough.

'We want The Dolls.'

We want The Dolls.

- $250.
- It's $240.

I'll let you have
the girls for Thanksgiving.

Same price as tonight.

Think about it.

Can't help ya.

Rhody, if you ever need
a friend...buy a dog.

- Doc, you got a minute?
- Yeah.

Hope I didn't slug
your friend out there too hard.

Who? You mean, Harry?

Listen, it's the best thing
that happened to him all week.

Sorry we had to win but nice
to work with you guys anyway.

- See you later. Take care.
- Bye, bye.

What a fantastic show
you girls put on tonight.

- Pretty good, huh?
- No, not good, darling.

- It was sensational.
- The audience loved us--

No. They didn't love you.
They ate it up. They loved it.

- Are we getting Thanksgiving?
- I'm negotiating.

Does that mean
he doesn't want us?

No, it's not that.
I'm asking a lot of money.

Well, are we gonna get it?

Depends, I still
gotta push some buttons.

Hey, honey. You look better
with your clothes off.

I didn't know
you were bilingual.

So we're not getting

It's-it's gonna be tough.
It's uphill.

- I'm not gonna lie to you.
- This is the pits!

- What do you've to do--
- Yeah, what do you've to do?

Gotta walk on water
to get a $12 raise.

- Every path has its pace.
- Every path, your ass!

A hard beginning
maketh a good ending.

Harry, do me a favor
and take that some place else

'cause I'm not in the mood.

Anybody hungry?

I said is anybody hungry?

What is this? A school
for the deaf and dumb?

Nobody hungry?
I'm buying.

Hey, I'm not kidding around.
I'm really buying.

Real food or that junk garbage
we have every night?

No, no. Five blocks up the road,
there's a brand new Fatburger.

It's fantastic.

For once, can't we eat
at a place with a tablecloth?

Hm, it's okay with me,
but those frills cost money.

'Don't you think it's about time
we got a new muffler?'

- 'Just remember.'
- 'Those frills cost money.'

'How much longer?'

'How much longer?'

'Longer than a breath,
shorter than a lifetime.'

Could you give
that to me in miles?

There was a crooked man.
He walked a crooked mile.

- He found a crooked--
- Keep it up, Harry.

- Trying to entertain you.
- Try silence.

'Why don't we stop
and get some candy?'

'Candy is dandy.
Liquor is quicker.'

'Give us a break.
Will you?'

'A conversation with you is like
talking to a fortune cookie.'

What's it with all these things?
Where do you get 'em all?

You know, that's
a very interesting story.

When my parents came over
here from the old country

the only thing my father knew
how to do was be a tailor.

So he got a job as a tailor,
cutting pants and vests.

They wouldn't let him
cut coats.

He knew he had
to become a citizen

in order to stay
in the country.

He couldn't speak English.
Not one word.

So the union
sent him to school.

Maybe that's what
we need, a union.

Better pay, better conditions,
and no managers.

Now at school, they explained
to him you have five years

to learn the answers
to some simple questions

and he had to learn
how to speak English.

So my father asked them, "How am
I gonna learn to speak English?"

Teacher says, "Very simple.

You read New York Times,
Clifford Odets and Will Rogers."

So what happened?

So, for the rest of his life

my father read New York Times,
Will Rogers, and Clifford Odets.

And in five years,
he become a citizen.

What does that have
to do with the way you talk?

When my sister and I
got old enough to ask questions

any question..

...my father, he always
answered with a quote.

From either Rogers or Odets.

Who were Rogers and Odets?

Rogers and Odets?

They're a dance team.
They worked in the Catskills.

- 'How you feeling?'
- Come on. Come on.

- 'How you feeling?'
- Hair, hair up.

'Oh, she's choking her.'

Bite her. Bite
the son of a bitch.

Get up.

Chin up. Don't choke. Give up!

Legs and ass. Kick out.

- 'Kick out.'
- Kick out.

Get up! Get up!

I'm hurt!

Take a deep breath.
Deep breath.

Is there a doctor
in the house?

Get a doctor.
This girl's in pain.

You gotta move.
You gotta roll.

- You can't fall--
- Shh, shh. Leave me alone.

Feet and shoulders.
How many times do I tell you?

- Oh, God! What? Get away.
- Where does it hurt?

My ribs. I think
I broke a couple.

Your ribs? Don't move.
I said don't move. Molly will..

Molly, you're on your own.
You move, I'll kill you.

Molly, you gotta watch the flip.
Watch the sunset flip.

One, two, three..

There's no bones broken.
Just maybe a bad sprain.

Stay off your back
for a few days.

There goes your
social life, Iris.

- She's as healthy as a horse.
- Right. And you ought to know.

He used to be
the official vet of Pimlico.

- Very funny.
- Stay in here a minute, Doc.

I wanna talk to you.

You're way ahead. You're lucky
he didn't shoot you.

Listen, while you're here,
I got a problem--

What's the problem?

- Are you okay?
- I guess so.

As Harry would say, that guy
should be a bone specialist.

He's got the hip for it.

Excuse me. You the manager
for the California Dolls?

Yeah. Why?

Well, they're really
very good, you know.

I know.
What's the deal?

Nothing really except

if you ever wanna bring
your girls to Japan to wrestle

I'd like to arrange a tour.

Why would you wanna do that?

If your girls ever
get to be champions

I think we could make
a lot of money together.

Your girls will be
very, very big in Japan.


Hm...this you?

Yeah. Clyde Yamashito.

- Pleasure meeting you, sir.
- Likewise.

Lookin' forward to
doing business with ya.

Here, why don't you
try one of these?

You'll feel better
in no time.

- It's quite a collection.
- Well, it pays to be prepared.

Never know where
it's gonna hurt tomorrow.

Any suggestions?

Mm, why don't you try
one of the pink ones.

There might not be a tomorrow
if you keep taking these.

- Does it make a difference?
- Yes, it makes a difference.

Doesn't it?

Yeah, it makes
a difference.

- Come in.
- Harry.

Your money is on the desk.

How's the girl?

Oh, she's just great.

You're short 20.

Harry, we charge
towel and linen service.

What kinda crap is that?

Harry, you got your money.

Your girls are probably beat.

Why don't you be a big sport

and get 'em a cup of coffee
or something?

You're short 20, Eddie.

Our girls are a class act.
They deserve to get paid.

If I wanted a class act,
I'd get the Bronte sisters.

My dolls would tear
their legs off.

Harry, I don't have to tell you
the business is changing.

I gotta give a piece of the
action to unions, concessions.

- That requires--
- You break my heart, Eddie.

I'm not leaving
until I get the 20.

Can't help ya. Wanna call Cisco
a son of a bitch.

Yeah, call me a son of a bitch.

'I gave up a long time ago
tryin' to please everybody.'

Girls earned the money.
I want it.

Be happy you got what you got.
'Cause that's all you gonna get.

The only reason you had anybody
in this toilet tonight

was because of my Dolls.

That crowd out there
came to see them.

I'll level with you. You have
a couple of sweet numbers there.

But the customers
don't give a damn.

'All they want
is tits and ass.'

Don't matter if it's your broads
or someone else's broads.

Look, you cheap bastard. $20
means something to my girls.

To you, it's nothing. It's
banana money for your gorilla.

Ok, big mouth.
You know who I am?

Alright, Eddie. Impress me.

I promote over 20 arenas
in this area alone.

I'm leaving this area.

Harry, I don't care
if you leave the planet.

You're never gonna work
for me again.

'Harry, ooh.'

- Be seein' ya.
- Hey, don't move.

I wanna forget you
just the way you are.

Hey, boss.

Really think he didn't remember
anything about the towel fee?

Shut up, Jerome.

Harry, what's wrong with you?

Was he acting weird
tonight, I tell you.

Hey, what happened in there?

Hey, did you get the money?

- 'Why are we stopping?'
- 'What are we looking for?'

'Would you please tell us
what happened?'

What is wrong with you?

Harry, how much money
did he give you tonight?

What, huh?

Hey, what you doin'
with a bat?

Don't do anything you're gonna
regret later, Harry.

- 'Harry, this is crazy.'
- 'This is a real mistake.'

Harry. Harry,
what are you gonna do?

- 'You're lookin' for trouble.'
- 'Will you listen to me?'

Harry, didn't he give you
all the money?

'Why won't you tell us
what's going on?'

'You're playin' around
with the wrong guy.'

'Come on, Harry.
Don't do it.'

- Harry, don't you dare.
- 'You're not--'

'I don't believe this.'

'Oh my God!'

What was that
all about?

I was thinking
about buying a Mercedes.

But first I wanted
to give it a stress test.

- Stress test?
- Didn't pass.

You're crazy, Harry.
Absolutely, certifiably...crazy.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to wake you up.

Ah, it's okay,
I can't sleep either.

What's bothering you?

Wondering what's
still bothering you.

I've never seen you
smoke before.

I honestly don't know
if I can take this anymore.


All we're doing is
running around in circles.

We're not getting any place.

- I know it seems that way but--
- It is that way.

So, you're gonna give up?

No. I'm not gonna give up.

Get out maybe...while I'm
stillin one piece.

And do what?
Go back to LA?

Maybe, I can get
my old job back.

- At the answering service?
- Yeah.

You're dreaming, Mol.
That's not how it was.

I only said maybe.

For all I know, I could-could
get into real estate

or...or advertising maybe.

Even work in an art gallery.

So what if I didn't
finish high school?

Can always go to night school.

Nobody to come home to.

Nobody to give a damn
what you do.

Whereas, now, I've got you

and that son of a bitch
to come home to.

Yeah, and we need you, Mol.

Hey, I couldn't work
with anybody but you.

And who, but you,
could put up with Harry?

Like it or not,
the three of us are a team

and we're gonna make it
or die tryin'.

I love you, Mol...and so does
the son of a bitch.

He'll never admit it,
but he does.


Turn out the light,
go to sleep.

'They're the hottest
tag team in the state.'

'I can't explain it myself.'

'The other night in Akron, they
couldn't get out of the arena.'

'They're like rock stars
and beautiful.'

'First, listen,
face facts.'

'We both know most
lady wrestlers are dogs.'

'So, now they expect
the Pekingese'

'and out comes Marilyn Monroe.
They go wild.'

'Dogs. I'll settle for dogs.'

'I just want to fill out
the card!'

'What're you talking about?
Dogs are winners.'

'Talk about a winning act.'

'Winners, I don't need.
Any douche slappers will do!'

You're gonna have
to do better than that.

I'm talking about a class act.

Tell you what I'll do? A hundred
and a quarter for tonight.

That's the deal and that's it.

- I'm on the phone.
- 'It's me.'

I'd love to make
a deal with you.

'But unless you sweeten the pot,
I'm gonna have to take a pass.'

Do you want your coffee
or don't you?

Uh, hold on a minute.
He's my man.

You're not even offering

A hundred and a quarter.
That's it.

Hey, we waited this long,
we'll wait a little longer.

Then we won't need you.

Lousy, no good son of a bitch.

You quoting
Rogers and Odets again?

Who's a lousy,
no-good son of a bitch?

Never mind. What can you expect
from a day that starts

with gettin' up in the morning?

Sounded like you turned
somethin' down.

Unlike you, Iris, I occasionally
turn down an offer.

Don't start in on me, Harry.

All I'm saying is you could
consult us sometimes.

I didn't get us this far
by consulting you every time.

Where are the car keys? Mol and
I are going out for breakfast.

You two eatin' again?
You just ate last night.

Sorry, old habits
are hard to break.

In the back pocket.

Okay, Harry, come on.
I put the bubble bath in.

Oh, excuse me.

You always were attracted
to shy girls, Harry.

Alright, Iris.
Give me a break.

- You a friend of Harry's too?
- Oh, isn't everyone?

Isn't Harry
the absolute greatest?

Yes, he certainly is.

You heard the lady.
Eat your heart out.

Now take a walk.

Just leaving.
It was nice seeing you.

Same here.

Harry, Robert Redford
called again.

Now, I told him you
couldn't be disturbed.

You mean, you really
do know him?

- Iris, out.
- Just leaving.

'Like you always say, Harry,
familiarity breeds contempt..'

...and children.
Ta ta.

What is Robert Redford
really like?

Oh, he's a regular guy.
You know, like you and me.

Down to earth.
Rob is not a snob.

- 'What's his favorite food?'
- Come here, quick. Come here.

'None. No interest in food.
An occasional sardine.'

- 'So, what happened?'
- 'Happened to whom?'

'To your father.'

'He kept quotin'
Rogers and Odets.'

'And finally he got to cut
coats. Then he died.'

'Aw. So, what happened
to you mother and sister?'

'Ma's in a nursing home
in Newark.'

'She don't remember anybody.'

'My sister..'

'...she married an Italian baker
that lived in Queens.'

'If you want bread,
marry a baker, right.'

'That's a sad story, Harry.'

'Well, as Clifford Odets
would say

'It's better than stickin'
a pencil in your eye.'

'So why are you calling me?'

Uh, because, Solly,
I've got two

of the most sensational kids
to ever hit this business.

- Yeah? Guys or girls?
- Two girls.

Who are they?
Old girlfriends?

No, it's absolutely
legitimate, Solly.

Yeah, what's the name
of the act?

- The California Dolls.
- Oh yeah, the sexy broads.

- 'Same ones.'
- Never heard of them.

Of course, you heard
of them. They're outstanding.

Now here's the thing, Solly,
these kids got that stuff.

They got a magic.
They're like rock stars.

Believe me the audience
goes crazy.

They've got beauty
and they've got talent.

- Call me in the summer.
- When?

- 'June.'
- June?

I can't call you in June, Solly.

Christ, that's eight
months away.


Son of a...bitch!

Want some chocolate?

No thanks, that junk
just gives you calories.

Let's go.

Did you get me
a 3 Musketeer?

Didn't have any.
I got you Snickers.

I don't want a Snicker!
I asked for a 3 Musketeer!

What are you, eight years old?
Have some of my M&M's.

I hate M&M's!

- That'll be 29.91.
- Wonderful.

- Now here's 25. Who's got five?
- It's your turn.

This is getting
to be a habit, you know.

Well, we all have
different habits.

- Here's a five.
- Alright, that makes thirty.

There's your five cents.
I have no pennies.

I'll have to go inside.

I'll wait.

Give me the nickel, Harry.

Thank you.

'What about the pennies, Harry?'

'Where there's no sense,
there's no feeling.'

'You know girls,
those Japanese wrestlers'

'really put on a great show.'

'And I keep telling you, you
better learn that sunset flip.'

'It's real flashy
and wipes them out.'

'Molly, she could have
pinned you twice with that.'

'You were lucky
you hit the ropes.'

That's a bad cough
you got there.

You really ought to do
something about that.

There's no harm in appreciating
other forms of music.

Now, this is
an Italian tenor.

His name is Attilio Belfiori,
and the opera is Pagliacci.

It's beautiful.
Listen to it.

- It'll make you cry.
- I'm crying already.

- What did Solly say?
- 'Solly said maybe.'

'Harry, the smoke and this cold
are killing me.'

'You can make a fortune selling'

'thermal underwear
in this state.'

Does that mean Solly
is coming to see us?

No, it means...it's not a no.

It's gonna take a little bit
more time, that's all.

Got a cigarette?

- How about a little heat here?
- You're getting it.

If I put it on full blast,
the car will blow up.

Just shoot this car
and put it out of its misery.

- My last one.
- 'Thanks.'

You ought to cut down anyway.
These things'll kill ya.

Love the way you're always
looking out for our welfare.

Oh, by the way, Molly..

...I got somethin' for you.

Okay, thanks a lot, Harry.

But I don't like doin' it.

You really ought to start
cuttin' down on those things.

If something happened to you,
this other one here

she'd be left to herself,
will be all by herself.

He's right, Molly.
After all, we're a tag team.


'Didn't you see a car
do the hustle before?'

'And you wonder
why I take pills?'

You know, I had a thought,
an idea for you girls

it's not fully realized,
but it could be sensational.

We are not getting
tattooed, Harry.

No, I'm cold on that.
I got a better one.

- Ya dye your hair.
- So what else is new?

Not just the hair on your head,
I'm talking about your eyebrows.

When you raise your arm,
you know under there.

The fuzz over here. And it
doesn't have to be vulgar.

I'm talking about pretty colors.

There's nothing more beautiful
than frost-colored hair

or a lovely silvery blonde color

that picks up the light
when you go into the ring.

That stinks.

You're wrong,
it fits in with today.

Did you know that in Paris,
the high fashion models..

'I'll show you pictures,
Woman's Wear Daily.'

We decided we wanted
to be the one tag team

without a gimmick. Remember?

Yeah but not your legs.
You shave your legs.

It's a stupid idea.

Thought this up yourself
or did you have help?

What's wrong with it?

We'll look like clowns,
that's what's wrong with it.

The idea stinks.

Alright, have it
your way, doll.

Remember, you only got so many
chances at the brass ring

'and you better take
every one of 'em'

'because when you run out
of turns, kid, that's it.'

You got the picture?
Now move your ass, you're slow.

Someday, you'll go
too far, Harry.

And I hope
you stay there.

Miserable bastard.

I think we hurt
Harry's feelings again.

Oh, yeah?
How can you tell?

Ah, you're in rare form
today, ladies. Rare form.

Remember, anytime you don't like
the way I'm handling things

just say the word
and the job is yours.

'We never said you
weren't a good manager, Harry.'

Just a lousy human being.

That's what I like
about you, Molly.

You got a real sense
of humor.

You just bring out
the best in me, Harry.

I must have done
25 miles today.

Shut your face. You too.
Put that down.

Alright, we got a chance.

We got a real honest
to God chance.

But if you two cows
wanna bust your butt

making pocket change

that's your business,
count me out.

Look at me. Turn around.

All I know is if you
wanna get somewhere

maybe make some important money,
you got to lay off being

such smart asses
and listen to what I got to say.

Don't answer.

You too.

- Harry, lunch is on us.
- Okay, Harry?

- Get in the car.
- Come on. We're buying.

Well, they better serve steaks.

Yeah, with real tablecloths.

'Oh boy, we've got to
bear down tonight.'

'I'm telling you girls,
listen to me.'

'Can't coast tonight, kids.'

'This can be
a very important fight.'

'Toledo Tigers. You're not
fighting two shleppers.'

'They didn't become champs
by accident.'

'I'm telling you these
are two big strong girls.'

'Because they're champs, there's
gonna be a lot of exposure'

'gonna be a lot
of booking agents there.'

- 'So, bear down.'
- 'Don't get so worked up.'

'This is a non-title fight,

'Do we ever get any other kind?'

'Trust me, girls.
This is a big step up.'

'Maybe, this'll be a good
time to try the sunset flip.'

'Do you know who
Big John Stanley is?'

'Who the hell cares who he is.'

'Aw, sweetie,
if you're in this racket'

'you must know who
Big John Stanley is. '

'Now 30 years ago, this man was'

'the light heavyweight champion
of the world.'

'He also helped coach
the United States team'

'at the Rome Olympics.'

'Now since then,
he's become a manager.'

'No matter who he handled'

'I don't care if it's
a man, woman, or midget'

'they were always the best.'

'This man stands
for the creme de la creme'

'of the wrestling world.'

Harry, the damn machine
took all my money

and won't give me the cigarette.

Stand back, sweetie. You
can't be nice to these things.

They only understand one thing.

- Wow!
- Come on, girls.

I don't have all day.

'Check the coin return,
you never know.'

Let's face this off, June.

- Let it go.
- That's it. Come on.

Can't you take it, doll?

'She's down.'

Here we go.

That's it. Get up and pin her.

Get up. Come on, get up.

You're kicking.
That's not wrestling.

Ref, get out of here.
Let her fight.

Told you to watch
the kicking.

- Back to your corner. Go back.
- Christ, she can't do that.

- Hey ref--
- 'Leave him alone.'

You can do a lot,
but you can't do that.

- Hair.
- 'Don't let her, kid.'

You want my honest opinion?
You're a horse's ass.

- Hair.
- 'Finish this off, June.'

- That way, Iris.
- Turn it around, Iris.

You can turn this around, baby.

- Hair, hair, hair.
- Hey.

Get up.

Yes, sir, that's my baby!

No problem, sweetheart.
Stay loose.

'Get up, June.
Give it a pin.'

Come on, get up.
Get up there.

Come on.

Get off me,
you double crossing tanker.

- 'One two.'
- Wait, stop.

Better make the pin,

- One, two..
- Get up. Get up.

'Beautiful, honey.
You got it! Yeah.'

Ah, boo.

- A miracle!
- You did a good job.

A miracle. California Dolls.

'You're seeing the next
champions of the world.'

- I'm number one here.
- Number one, huh.

I just don't understand
what happened.

What are you getting
so excited about?

- It's just another match.
- But we lost.

So you lost. Big deal.

It's not the first time.
Certainly won't be the last.

Besides, it wasn't
for the championship.

But we were supposed to win.

Oh, you weren't supposed to win.
Nobody is ever supposed to win.

I did ask Harry

if it were close and he
could see his way clear

I would appreciate it
if he would speak to his girls

about not trying so hard

since this is
your home territory.


'And we'd return the favor.'


So, Harry would or would
not do what he had to do.

I would have done
the same thing.

And what do you think
you were doing out there?

- Wrestling.
- You didn't let June pin you.

Honey, I don't let
anybody pin me.

You aren't good enough to
beat us, that's your problem.

Say what?

Those were our fans out there.
They came to see us win.

Yeah, but when you lost

they didn't sound too
brokenhearted to me.

How'd you like
another kick in the butt?

John, I think we better separate
these girls till they cool down.

Don't tell me
to cool down, you pimp.

Watch who you're
calling names, you cow.

Alright, I hate to break
this duel of wits.

Maybe you need that little baby
face of yours messed up.

- Cool it, June.
- Mind your own business.

These two smart asses
got something coming.

Maybe you'd like
to start it, huh?

You bet your ass.

Are you crazy?
What am I..

Oh, shit. Not again.

Get the hell out of here.

- I'll disqualify your girl.
- Choke. You call it.

You call it.
You call it.


Why are we doing all
the pushing

when we are paying
all the bills.

Road work.
It's good for you.

I suppose, this is road work.

You're using your legs.

Yeah, what are you using?
Your ass?

'What did Solly say
about Chicago?'

- 'We're close.'
- 'Close. How close?'

'We've been hearing
that for months.'

'Very close. I'm right
on top of this'

'and I know for a fact
that Solly is interested'

'in the California Dolls.'

You better not be
making this up, Harry.

Why would I make it up?
Look at it this way.

If Solly wasn't interested
in The Dolls

we wouldn't have the date
in the first place.

Now we're getting
a new price.

- Five big ones.
- Alright.

- Five big ones?
- Five big ones.

You got a cigarette?
I want one.

You don't change, do you?

I ask the question.
If something's perfect

why would you change it?

Well, Mr. Perfect, we got
to stop because now I'm out.

I wish you two
would stop smoking.

'It's really bad
for your health.'

'You think we got it tough?'

'How'd you like
to work in there?'

Alright, tell me, Earl,
what's the deal.

Oh, well, you'll be fighting
the local champs.

The creatures from
the Black Lagoon.

I came up with that name
myself, ladies.

- Oh.
- That is very catchy.

Thank you.
It's all for a worthy cause.

This year, we're gonna
add a rec room

onto the American
Legion Hall.

- No kidding.
- Yeah.

You'll be surprised
how ping pong

can add some fun
to an old soldier's life.

- Oh I bet.
- Right this way.

Come on ladies, this way.

The Ladies Auxillary pitched in
and painted the benches.

All I want know is,
where's the ring.

Oh, no ring?

You're gonna wrestle
in that mud hole over there.

- Mud hole?
- 'Oh, yeah.'

'It's become an annual
highlight of the carnival.'

'Ah, by the way, I do
a little joke every year.'

I come out before
the bout, and I say

"Now, girls, I want
a good, clean fight."

'See, the fight's in mud.'

That always gets a good
laugh from the crowd.

I came up with
that line myself.

Yeah, well you can do
something else by yourself.

Think about it. Come on, Mol,
let's get the hell outta here.

- Ah!
- Creep.

- Did-did you see--
- Alright, just relax.

I'm gonna take care
of everything.

That's no way to talk
to a Lieutenant Governor

of the Kiwanis Club.

- Alright, relax girl.
- Where the hell have you been?

Relax, come on, calm down. Hey!

Calm down. It's a little mud,
it'll wash off.

What about the embarrassment?
That doesn't wash off so easy.

Do you think that I knew that
you're gonna fight in mud?

- Yes.
- Seriously?

This is a career move.

Rolling in mud is a career move?

Very important. Because it
establishes a new price for us.

We can point to a contract. We
got it here in black and white.

We're getting $500 a night.

- For...get it.
- No one's gonna see you.

And now really,
look at this dump.

Who's here?

Trust me, girls. It's not gonna
be on the Wide World of Sports.

We're not going into the goddamn
mud pit, and that's it!

I'm not turning myself
into a sideshow freak

for you or anybody else.

- No way.
- Hey!

Every time you walk into
the ring, you're a freak.

And that's what a wrestler is.

You didn't sign up
to be the Queen of England

so get off your high horse.

'So you jump
in a little mud. Big deal!'

'You're costing us five bills.'

- 'Five! F-I-V-E.'
- We're not interested, Harry.

Not today, not tomorrow,
not ever.

E-V-E-R, ever.

Ladies, you wanna pay..

Ladies, you're not paying
attention. Only two in the ring.

- You out.
- You in.

Oh, my god, no.

'Somebody help him.'

I never knew you
were a party crasher.


Merle, there is mud in your eye.
There is some mud in your eye.

'I can't tell Merle from the
girls. Gosh, look at this man.'

- Evelyn, honey, I'm sorry.
- Forget it, Merle.

'Looks like he's gonna sleeping
on the couch tonight, I think.'

'This is a business where you
got a plenty of hard knocks.'

'As a matter of fact, here's a
couple of pretty good knockers.'

'Ladies and gentlemen,
everything you're seeing here'

'is absolutely real,
you don't think this is real'

'take a look
under those T-shirts.'

'Wait a minute, you're
gonna miss the best part.'

'The best is yet to come.
Don't leave yet.'

'And there they go.
My god, look at this.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, you're
seeing it all right here.'

- 'They're at it again.'
- Mr. and Mrs. Cobel.

Oh, my god, we're
losing the seniors.

'Lady, can I be
the mud in your life.'

Oh, shit!

You know what, I never
told you this, Merle.

But you are an asshole.

'Oh, man, look at them jugs!'

'Roll all over again.'

'That's it, yeah.'

'Look at them boobies,
they're in the dirt.'

'Car should be ready
at 7 o'clock.'

'Thanks for the lift.'

'Thanks again.'

That lip is still bleeding.
Let me take a look.

Don't touch me.

You've already caused enough
trouble for one day.

- I'm gonna clean up next door.
- Sure.

Get the hell
outta my way!

Goddammit! Open the door!
Get out here and open the door!

'Iris, you got to do
something about that lip.'

'Quit playing Dr. Kildare,
open the door, and let me in.'

Iris, that thing is wide open.
Let me clean it up.

Will you just leave me alone?
Okay, just leave me alone.

I hate your guts, Harry.
I hate everything about you.

I can't stand
the sight of you anymore.

You're fired. Get the hell out.
Get the hell outta my life.

You're a lousy lover,
you're a lousy manager.

And you're a lousy human being.

Now, that really hurts.

I am not a lousy manager.

This is all your fault, Harry.
None of this woulda happened

if it wasn't for you.

You did this to me. You
turned me into a freak today.

They were laughing at me, Harry,
they were laughing at me.

And it was all your fault.
You know what you are, Harry?

You're a low life.
A lousy, stinking low life.

Loser, loser, loser,
loser, loser.


Alright, sweetie. Alright.

Harry, they laughed at me.


I can take anything
but them laughing at me.

Why did you
let them laugh at me?

They never laughed
at you, sweetheart.

- Yes, they did.
- No.

They're just trying
to have a good time.

Here, let me get that.

Why do you?

Why do you
always have to hurt me?

I don't know.

No, I don't know.


There's blood,
all over your face.

Yeah, don't make
any difference.

Oh, hold me, Harry.

I've needed you so long.

I want you, Harry...now.

'Says here that Superstar
and Big Mama are going'

'to battle it out
for the world championship.'

Wow, 25 grand to the winner
and 10 grand to the loser.

- Not bad for a night's work.
- No kidding.

I once saw
Big Mama in L.A.

She's so big all she'd do is
sit on you, and it's all over.

That Superstar
is no slouch either.

- Should be a pretty good match.
- When's it gonna be?

Oh, I don't know,
it doesn't say.

Wait a minute, yes it does.
The Christmas show in Reno.

Hey, there's a story
in here about us you guys.

"One of the hottest tag teams
on the circuit today are

"the gorgeous California Dolls,
who seem unbeatable

"everywhere they appear
and are definitely

the rising stars
of the wrestling world".

They got the gorgeous part
right. What else does it say?

Hey, It's got our pictures too!

Look at this, take a look.
We're stars!

- My picture in there?
- No.

That's right. Harry.
We're stars.

We look a lot
better than that.

Well, It's an old picture.


They've even got us ranked.

We're number three
tag team in the country.

Who's number one?

The champs, dummy,
the Toledo Tigers.

Then it's the Amazon Queens.

'This is it, we finally
made the big time.'

- 'What about it, Harry?'
- 'What about what?'

'Why do I have to do
all the thinking around here.'

'This is the break,
we've been waiting for.'

'Talk to Solly. If you can
get us on as the opening match'

'in Reno, we'll have it made.'

Think of all
the publicity.

- Give me the magazine.
- Here's what we gotta do.

One, I gotta call Solly.

Two, I get Solly
to see the article

the picture and the rankings.

What we really need now is
some bucks for some publicity.

'Unfortunately, in the words
of Toulouse-Lautrec'

'"I'm a little short."'

But, your suggestion is very
good. I'm not ignoring that.

Thank you.

Alright. There's a phone.
I'll call Solly.

Don't forget to tell Solly,
about the magazine, page 87-88.

Yeah, yeah. Don't worry.
Page 87-88.

- We'll pick up a few things.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If it's on sale,
I need toothpaste.

- Okay.
- Aquafresh.


- But only if it's on sale!
- Alright, alright!

Wow, a drive-through
super market.

Fascinating business.

Now this is really a great idea.

Solly, Harry Sears.
Gee, I'm glad I got you, Solly.

Listen, something came up.
Very important.

- In this week's issue--
- Don't you every say hello?

We'll say hello later.
First I wanna talk.

Now hear me out on this, Solly.
Very important.

- In this week's issue--
- I saw it.

- I'm talking about the spread.
- I saw it.

Oh, you saw it on the Dolls?
Page 87 and 88 with a picture.

I saw it for God sake.

Well, listen, Solly.
That's an old picture, you know.

- They look even better now.
- 'I like the picture.'

Yeah, I like it too.
It's a hell of a picture.

Here is the thing, Solly.
Do yourself a favor.

Hold all calls and give me
your undivided attention

for two minutes.

Wednesday night, standard rate.
Take it or leave it.

- We'll take it.
- 'Main event.'

Oh, listen, Solly,
on the billing there--


Oh, wasn't easy.

Had to push
a lotta buttons.

Oh, people like Solly,
they're murder

you gotta wear 'em down.

Well, what's that
supposed to mean?

Chicago, Chicago..

'Who are we up against
tomorrow night.'

'Solly didn't say.
But it's the main event.'

'So, whoever it is,
it's not gonna be easy.'

'Look, who knows,
it might even be the Tigers.'

'If it is, they're gonna
be out for your blood.'

'Don't be fooled
by the last time.'

'Those girls are brutal. And
for god sakes, listen to me.'

'Keep practicing
those sunset flips.'

'Harry, would you just
leave the wrestling to us.'

'Let's stay at
a first class place?'

- 'Something special.'
- 'That's a good idea.'

'We'll stay at Al's
Motor Lodge in Skokie'

- 'Every floor has ice machine.'
- 'Thanks a lot, Diamond Jim'

'I hate to be the one to
remind you. Luxury costs money.'

'I'm sick of staying at those
roach motels you keep finding.'

- 'Yeah.'
- 'You girls are excited.'

'You wanna go first class.
That's understandable.'

'Just remember, those frills..'

'...cost money.'

'Harry, you always keep
playing that same number.'

- 'Is that your favorite?'
- 'Yeah. What's he saying?

'I mean, what's he singing?'

'Well, you see
that's Pagliacci.'

'He is kind a like
a strolling player.'

'He goes from town to town
entertaining people.'

- 'So?'
- 'So, sometimes it isn't easy.'

- 'Sometimes he gets down.'
- 'And?'

'And that's why he is like us.'

'He gotta keep going.
Gotta keep trying.'

'Gotta hang in there
even if his heart is breaking.'


- You got her.
- 'Like hell.'

You got her. Hey, it's over.

'Now was that body, was that--'

'Now put some pressure on it.
Put some pressure.'

'Watch that choke
watch that choke.'

'Watch that choke.'

She tried to choke me.

- Ah.
- 'Okay girl.'

- What are you kicking her for?
- I'm not.

Now, don't let her
do that to you. Come on, get up.

No problem, baby. You got her.
You got her, honey. You got her.

- Count.
- One, Two.

Alright. Alright.
That's the way to do it.

'Programs, programs.
One dollar.'

'Get your programs here.'

Anything goes, sweetheart.

'Programs, programs.
One dol--'

'Common, Mol.'

Take her out, June.
Take her out.

This is the big leagues,
baby. Anything goes here.

- 'You got it.'
- You gotta play rough.

'Nice ropes, goddammit.'

- 'I'll tell you one thing.
- Ropes.

That's a ropes play.

'That's for the last time.'

Come on.

'Hey, ref, this is bullshit.'

'Alright, June. Let's finish
this off. Get her, baby.'

- 'Stick it to her, June.'
- Yeah.

- 'Watch that knee.'
- 'That's illegal, ref.'

Watch that knee.
That's a choke! Choke!

One, two, break that hold.
Break that hold.

'Break that hold.'

'Alright, don't, don't worry
don't press. Just don't press.'

'You'll be alright.'

'Watch that hair. Watch
that hair. Watch the--'

'Break that hold.

Alright, let's go home now.
Let's finish this up. Come on.

- What did I do? Huh?
- Enough.

For Christ sakes.
Put your course up.

I'll be a son of a bitch.
Are you in this fight or not?

I'll choke you, asshole.

- Come on take her out.
- Ah.

'C'mon, Diane, let's do it.'

- 'She's choking.'
- I don't care.

'Enough resisting, you asshole.
Break it up.'

Hey, you need a cage.
You're such a stupid ass.

Your blind as a bat.

- One, two, three.
- Ah, count, two.

It's alright, get her again.

- Hey ref..
- Get back to the corner.

...I'll take this cane
and shove it up your nose.

- Ah, my hair, ref.
- 'Oh, no, no, no.'

'Get back in there.
Get back to the corner.'

- Ah, my hair.
- Hold it, one..

One, two..

There are too many
girls in the ring.


'Come on, June. Come on.'

'Watch her, Iris.'

- 'She's on the rope, ref.'
- Call it off, you son of--

'Hold. One, two--'

- Ah, June, hit her.
- Stop that.

- 'That's the way, June.'
- One, two..

Ropes, ropes. Ropes, ropes.

'Pop corn, over there.'

She's on the rope.

'Break it, ref
she's on the ropes.'

Remember the last time, baby.

- 'Don't give up..'
- One, two, three.

Now we are even, sister.


She broke the rule.
She broke the rule.

Illegal move.

Yeah! Yeah! Whoo!

Illegal. Illegal.

No, I count her--
No, I counted her out.

- On the ropes. No.
- No, sir. No, I didn't see it.

You're a palooka!
On here, on the ropes.

Get away.
Get away from me.

- 'No, no.'
- 'I'm gonna fine you.'

'You animal! She was
on the God damn rope.'

Damn. Damn.


'I was on the ropes.'

- We were robbed.
- No, we weren't.

We just weren't tough enough.

You look okay to me.
Just a nose bleed.

- Take a couple of aspirin.
- Alright, wait outside, Doc.

- I'll see you in a minute.
- Harry, I'll be around.

- You shoulda played dirty.
- Why don't you shut up.

No, for once I think
Harry is right.

I told you both before. But,
you don't wanna listen to me.

If you wrestle for
Big John Stanley.

You have to be pretty
darn good, number one.

Number two, you need
a better coach than anybody.

Well, then maybe we should
get Big John to manage us.

No such luck, ladies.
He only handles blacks.

'You girls decent?'

'Like you to
meet a real nice guy.'

Great, but in
the mean time, who's this?

This is my friend, Eddie Cisco.


Move over. Slide over.
I been working all night.

Eddie, you know Harry Sears.
This is Iris and Molly.

Eddie is a promoter
and a match maker.

He also has a nice business on
the side, he rents towels.

- Hiya, Sears.
- How ya doin', Eddie?

What brought you all
the way from, Ohio?

Not my Mercedes.
Seems I developed car trouble.

Oh, that's too bad.
You oughta join the auto club.

I see you brought
The, uh, Hulk with you.

I saw your picture
in the post office.

- Ya look even better in person.
- Thank you.

Figured I drop back and take
a look at the Dolls up close.

- May be get acquainted.
- Well listen, Eddie.

Now that you had your look,
I suggest that you take a walk.

The girls wanna
get cleaned up and dressed.

Don't let me stop them.

I guess, the Tigers gave you
a rough time out there.

Well, we were out numbered.
Like three to two.

- What makes you say that?
- The ref was on their side.

This girl cracks me up.

I'm going to be
around for a few days.

Maybe, you and I
can get together?

Oh, now. I doubt that.

See, I don't mix
business with pleasure.

'Oh, by the way.'

Eddie just closed the deal
to put the Reno match together.

- The Reno match?
- 'Yeah.'

Congratulations, boss.

- 'The Christmas show?'
- We'd be perfect for that.

I'm still shopping. But, I don't
know if you girls are ready.

- What's wrong with us?
- 'Ask Babe Ruth.'

Nice to meet you, ladies.

Ah...Harry, I hope
I run into you soon.

Sears, see me before you go.

Clever, Harry. You had to pick
his car for betting practice.

I gotta hand it to you.
The Dolls are a good act.

Harry said you bought
the Toledo Tigers to open Reno.

Yeah. They're the champ.

You decided
on the other team yet?

How about...Thunder Thighs
and the Madame.

Ha ha.

Have you seen
Thunder Thighs lately?

The Thunder's been
replaced by Cellulite.

Who do you
think I should buy?

There's nobody as good as
the Dolls, and you know it.

Okay, so we looked pretty bad
up there the other night.

But we'll be ready
the next time.

You could build
it as a grudge match.

From what I've heard that's
not too far from the truth.

It'd be terrific.
You know you'd get a good show.

Let me think about it.


...why don't you
take me dancin'?


I told you, Harry.
I don't know where she went.

Did she say who she might
be going out with?

I told you. No.

Oh, look at this.

Gosh, does she look grand.

She finally came home. Must
have been a hell of a movie.

- Did you have a good time?
- Just great, Harry. Just great.

- What've you been working on?
- I thought we'd move west.

That's good 'cause that's
the direction we're heading.

It's California Dolls
against the Toledo Tigers

for the championship.

Ten thousand. Winner take all.

You were with
Eddie Cisco last night?

So what if I was?

Don't you ever
touch me again, Harry.

Boy, you are just
full of surprises, Doll.

I woulda let you
handle it, Harry

but he doesn't go
both ways. I checked that.

If you don't mind,
I'm gonna take a shower.

So will you
clear out please.

What are you looking
at me like that for?

Why did you hit her?
She only did it for us.

Did we ask her to?
I don't remember asking her to.

Look, we needed something
and she got it for us.

I guarantee you, doin' it
didn't come easy for her.

Yeah. Well, hearing about it
didn't come easy for me.

Can I tell her that?


I'll have your
order in a minute, sir.

- To Reno.
- To Reno.

Now, to do this right.

And we gotta
do it right.

It's going to require
some real money.

How much is real money, Harry?

How much you got
stashed in that sock?

Almost 800.

Let me hold that
until tomorrow morning.

- Come on, man.
- Alright, this is all going.

- Okay, let it roll.
- I only live once.

- Big seven.
- Six.


- Six.
- Hundred dollars.

- Another six. Wow.
- Yeah, try and do it again.

I'll buy the odds here.
Now, I can put 400 back here.

Can I? Alright.
So I got 400 here.

So I get...well you know
what I get on a back, don't you?

- Yeah.
- With this, I get..

- Okay.
- Hey, hey.

Okay, here we go.

- What a high.
- Six.

Six. Another six.

'Glad I followed
my horoscope.'

Alright, I'm betting then.
I'm going to bet 600.

- You got it.
- Six Hundred.

- Let her lay, we'll play.
- Ooh! Alright.

Okay. I got six stones.

- Good shooter.
- Good shooter.

- Doin' good?
- Do a seven.

Six. Unbelievable.

- Sixes are easy.
- I got my six.

One, two, three
four, five, six.

- How much do I get if I win?
- Thirty Three.

- No, 25.
- Huh.

Five. Five, no field.

Five. Looking for a six.
Three is betted hard, boys.

Oh. I'd love to make this.

Come on, baby.


- Another six.
- 'Pay the man.'

- Another six.
- Another six?

Quite a few sixes.

22, 23, 24
25, 20.

'600 on the line,
600 hundred behind the line.'

'Pays to you 25, 20.'

'Alright, gentlemen
I'm gonna bet..'

'...100 dollars.'

Number of gold.
Bet it hard.


- Six.
- 'Come on give us a six.'

- Six.
- 'Let's do this.'

- Unbelievable.
- 'That's awful lot of sixes.'

- Alright.
- 'Lets go, here we go.'

Lets see if we can
make another six here.

- 'Yeah, lets see that.'
- 'Lucky man.'

'I have never seen
anybody that lucky.'

I think I'll call
it a night, gentlemen.

- Call it a night?
- You did okay for a beginner.

I guess I did that.

Get those bets..

I heard a noise over there.

Maybe he's parked
around the corner.

Bum, couldn't have
gone too far.

Give me your money.
Give me your money.

Give me your money.

I think you broke my knee.
Get me a doctor.

Give me your money.

Give me your money.

You're not leavin', are ya?

Yeah. But don't
bother to get up.

'Last August, when you
put us in the tin foil'

'made us the space amazons,
I felt like a jerk, Harry.'

'Sweetie, I tried something new,
it didn't work out.'

'A creative genius needs time to
discover the winning formula.'

'Well Mr. Creative Genius.
You do understand'

'there's only about
a 1000 dollars left'

'after the tune up
and polishing the car.'

We spent almost all what you
won at that crap game, Harry.

I hope you know what you're
doing. That's a lot of money.

Trust me, cookie.
I'm goin' on instinct.

I once read that's how all
the lower life forms survive.

When are you gonna admit
you're desperate for my body?

You talk as though everything
about you is as big as your ego.

Who said it wasn't.

Secret's safe with me, Harry.

'Reno, the biggest
little city in world.'

So, are you gonna use your funny
little dice here too, Harry?

No, are you crazy?
Not in this town.

You'll be laid to rest under
Liberace's parking space.

Nothing worries Harry more than
threat of an honest crap game.

'Boy, Molly, the championship.'

'God, it's scary.'

'It's just like
our first time in the ring.'

'Holy cow, Harry, look at that.'

I told you, didn't I?

Stick with me and I'll have
your name up in lights.


'Here's to looking at you, kid.'

'Oh, Harry, it's the end
of the rainbow.'

We finally made it.

'Alright, Girls, this is it.'

'We're fighting for the title.
We're fighting for our lives.'

'Don't let anything interfere
with your concentration.'

'And remember
those sunset flips.'

Oh, Molly, look at this.

Look at this?
There's a parade here.

Harry, where..
What did they do?

- Hey, what happened?
- It's nothing.

'This is not Al's Motor Lodge
in Skokie, you know.'

But, there's ice machines here,
huh, Harry?

That's right.
Talk about frills.

They're winning.
What's wrong with us?

- Been robbed!
- Let's go. We checked in.

Leave us alone.
We're on a winning streak.

Hey, woo, holy cow.

Ha ha.

We struck, Harry.

Alright, now you got 'em stuck?
Let 'em stay stuck!

Let's go.
Quit whining already.

- Okay, Harry, please. come on.
- Wait.

It's only nickels.

Tighten' that up, fellas.
Really pull it.

More tension.

'More, more.'

Oh. Well what do
you girls think?

Would I stay until tonight?

I think...I'll take a walk.

Alright, thanks fellas.

- What's eatin' your friend?
- Why don't you ask her.

A lot of irate managers
on the telephone when..

...they heard
the Dolls got this gig.

That's their problem.
We earned the right to be here.

Not what a lot of
other people think.

Eddie, I don't give a damn
what other people think.

And if anybody should ask,
you can tell them I said so.

I like your style.

I think we should get together
after this is over.

Just because we went
out once doesn't mean

I'm interested in
making it a habit.

- I thought we were friends.
- I guess, you thought wrong.

- Bastard.
- Bitch.

Don't think
you've hurt my feelings.

I've been called a lot worse
by a lot better people than you.


- What's the problem?
- Nothing. It's all over.

I don't want you talking
to my girls.

You got somethin' to say,
you say it to me.

Don't push your weight,
small change.

If your girl wasn't so good in
the sack, you wouldn't be here.

Stop it! Stop it!

Do you mind. Relax.

Now look. Eddie, we all
know how we got here.

You got what you wanted
and we got what we wanted.

- So, now we're even, okay?
- We're even. Okay?

- Harry. Let's get out of here.
- Right.

I got a thousand that says your
girls can't beat the Tigers.

- All I got is 900.
- That's our last 900.

- You want to bet or not.
- You don't got a thousand?

I'll make it 900.
I'm a very charitable person.

- Who do you wanna hold the bet?
- Harry.

You hold yours,
I'll hold mine.

Might as well,
it's not going any place.

You gotta bet.

It's a pleasure taking
your money, Sears.

I don't know what a smart broad
like that sees in that jerk.

- Harry, just forget it.
- See you around, Sears.

Boss, I don't think
that was such a good bet.

Shut up, Jerome.

'Your attention please.
The MGM lion'

'is presently available for
photographs in the shopping..'

'Never seen lady
wrestling before.'

'That man gave me
a free T-shirt.'

'Would you, look at
that picture of Big Mama.'

'Nah, I think it's a tag team.'

'Yeah, like the American

'Those girls are beautiful.'

'I don't think
they're that pretty.'

'I think you're jealous.'

Quit givin' me a hard time
about these tickets. Come on.'

- Cisco.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Cisco.
- Hey, Eddie.

Big Mama wants to see ya.

What's the matter, your mother
drop you on ya head, huh?

Well, explain it to me. What the
hell is goin' on around here?

All I see since I've gotten
here is California Dolls.

California Dolls T-shirts.

California Dolls posters.

I'm the star
of this show, Eddie.

Yes, sweetheart,
you are, you are.

You, how come you never thought
of selling a poster of me?

I don't know,
I never thought of it.

You should have. Lot of
guys like voluptuous women.

Isn't that right? What do you
think of me in a wet T-shirt?

I'm working on it.

Keep workin'.

'I have a telephone call for..'

- Good luck, Harry.
- Yeah, thanks.

Come on, come on, come on..

'I have a telephone call for..'

- Good luck, Harry.
- Yeah, right.

'Merry Christmas.'

Merry Christmas, George.

'The MGM lion is presently
available for photographs..'

Put those in the bin. Hurry!

- Did somebody knock?
- 'It's Eddie Cisco.'

You go on first.

Alright, we'll be late. I want
my girls to make an entrance.

Just don't make
an exit with the 900

or else my friend might do to
you what someone did to my car.

Eddie, I don't know
what you're talkin' about.

I kinda think you do.

I'll see you ladies ringside.

Alright, girls.
Look, I've got some business.

You two get dressed.
But keep this door locked.

What's the matter, Mol?
You nervous?

Who, me?

Yeah, I never seen you
like this before a match.

Yeah, well, tonight's
a little different.

I'm working without a net.

What are you talking about?

I've been cold turkey
for two whole days.

Haven't you even noticed?

My God, Molly, I've been
so excited about the match

I never even noticed.
That's terrific.

I thought I'd see if I needed
that junk for self-confidence.

You can do it. I know you can.
You know what else?

We're gonna win tonight.
I feel it.

Well, let's hope
you're right, partner.

'Cause this is it.

Once again, number one,
back in...base.

Number three...finished.

'I have a telephone call
for Mr. Taylor.'

'Mr. Michael Taylor, please.'

'You are the champions,
and The California Dolls'

'are greedy for your title,
hungry for your money'

'and you whipped
their ass in Chicago'

'so now, they're going to be
fighting for pride as well.'

So, remember, pride,
hunger, greed

ooh, they got it all.

We want the Dolls!
We want the Dolls!

Perfect. We don't
have to do that again.

Alright, what's next?
Oh, very important.

What's in it for you kids?

Forty dollars a head.

Fair enough?

Alright. Now the song.

Very important,
here with the song.

We want everybody
to sing this song.

So look at your sheets, fellas.

I am going to give you a signal.

Hey, pay attention here.
You too.

'Cause I'm going to give you
a signal. Here's the signal.

When I go like this,
what does that mean?

Hey...what does this mean?

You don't know,
'cause I didn't tell you.

Alright, when I go like
this here, you all gonna sing.

Do it.

'Cigars, cigarettes,
cigars, cigarettes..'

And now, live from Reno, Nevada.
We're very proud

to be part of a
special sporting event tonight

in conjunction with
Spectacular Sports Incorporated.

'Hello again, everybody,
I'm Chick Hearn'

'We're ringside of the
MGM Grand Hotel here in Reno'

'and tonight,
KGIM has for you'

'not one, but two
championship wrestling bouts.

'In our main event we're going
to have Big Mama defending'

'her world women's heavy weight
wrestling championship'

'and she'll be sorely tested
tonight by Superstar.'

'In our semi-final tonight,
we're going to have'

'The North American
Tag Team Championship.'

'And that's gonna pit the
champions, the Toledo Tigers'

'against the pride
of Southern California'

'The California Dolls.'

'And speaking of
the Dolls and the Tigers.'

'They've wrestled twice before,
not for a title'

'but twice before.
Each has won a match.'

'That means this is
a grudge match, doesn't it?'

Well, tonight ladies and
gentlemen it's safe to say

that this match is
for all the marbles.

'We're getting ready, Harry.'

Let's go now to
the PA announcer.

He's gonna introduce to you
a very nice man.

'Ladies and gentlemen.'

'The MGM Grand Hotel
in Reno, Nevada'

'takes pride and great pleasure'

'in introducing you to our guest
ring announcer for tonight'

Okay, we are all set.

Defensive captain of the four
time world champion

'Pittsburgh Steelers
Mr. Joe Greene.'

'Known to many
of his opponents..'

'...as Mean Joe Greene.'

Joe, the Boys' Club
thank you a lot.

I think on or off
the football field

he represents his sport
as well as any man

in the history of football.

Two arch rivals
of Tag Team wrestling

will meet in a grudge match

to decide which team is

the North American Champions.

'Under the rules of the Nevada
Athletic Commission'

'there will be
a 30 minute time limit.'

And in the event of a draw

the Toledo Tigers
will retain their title.

Prize. $10,000.

Myron, the..

Myron, I'm the star.
They're at $10,000.

Listen, they gotta fill
up the card, you see.

- They gotta fill--
- That's some filler.

The referee for tonight's card..

...Bill Dudley.

Fighting to retain
their North American title

as the champion tag team
in a world of wrestling

from Toledo, Ohio
the toughest

the roughest pair
of street fighters

in the business,
the Toledo Tigers.

- We're number one.
- Yeah.

'We're the Champs!'

'Let's hear it
for the Toledo Tigers!'

They're out here in Reno,
Nevada tonight.

And they wanna take back those
championship belts with them.

- Will they do it?
- 'We're the Tigers.'

Plus $10,000 to Big
John Stanley, their manager.

Only time will tell.

As they make their way,
they exude absolute confidence.

'We're number one.
Yeah, yeah.'


Haven't seen you
since Pittsburg.

You're looking great today.

Watch my girls, they're gonna
burn down this place tonight.

- Yes, indeed.
- See ya.

Do you like the Tigers?
Are we number one?

The challengers from
Los Angeles, California.

The hottest tag team
in the country.

The best looking girls
in the ring today.

The California Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

The California Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

Something odd going on here,
ladies and gentlemen.

Joe Greene introduced the
California Dolls some time ago.

Especially when you're on TV
when you get that introduction

you're supposed to come down
and get into the ring.

But they have not
made an appearance.

Have not hit the ramp
into the ring.

Oh come, Myron,
what's the delay?

I haven't got all night
Get 'em on. Where are they?

'Where could the Dolls be?'

'Knowing Harry Sears, this
could be a deliberate delay'

'trying to get the
champion's goat.'

We want the Dolls.

'I tell you this, if it's
staged, it's having an effect.'

'A few minutes ago
the champions were kidding'

'with the people
around ring side.'

'Now, ladies and gentlemen
they're not kidding at all.'

'They are mad.'

- Where are the dolls?
- They're chicken.

All I got to tell
you right now is

I think the champions
have been upstaged.

'They look pretty tough.'

'And mean.'

That's right, and mean.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

We want the Dolls.

'We want the Dolls.'

? Oh, you beautiful Dolls ?

? You great big
beautiful Dolls ?

? Let me put my arms
around you ?

? I could never
live without you ?

? Oh, you beautiful Dolls ?

? You great big
beautiful Dolls.. ?

? You great big
beautiful Dolls ?

? Let me put my arms
around you.. ?

It's unbelievable,
ladies and gentlemen.

Dazzling costume.

- They look pretty good..
- You bet your ass.

Dolls do look
pretty good, boss.

Shut up, Jerome.

? If you'd ever leave me,
how my heart would ache ?

? I want to hug you,
but I fear you'd break ?

? Oh! Oh!.. ?

- Sing kids.

Sing your little hearts out.
You're worth every penny.


- Rhinestones.
- Yeah!

Yeah, with those wings, they
look like virgin vampires.

I see it, but I
don't believe it.

'Yeah! Those girls suck!'

? If you ever leave me,
how my heart would ache ?

? I want to hug you,
but I fear you'd break ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Oh, you beautiful Dolls ?

Well, I'll get your
knee pack.

They love you.

- You gotta get those wigs off?
- Oh, yeah.

This is ridiculous,
Get 'em off, already.

The outfits were
just sensational.

Yeah. Gotta spend
money to make one.

You talk about a
choreographed entrance.

'Can't wrestle in that.'

I'm not gonna drink
this light beer anymore.

Get me a real beer?

I want a clean fight.
No punchin'.

'Everybody clear on that?'

'Now, ladies. If you're
fouled inside the ring

'you get a count of five.'

'Outside the ring but on apron,
a count of ten.'

'Outside on the floor,
a count of 20.'

Is that understood?

Now, managers..

...let's get this shit off
of our girl's faces, alright?

This a wrestling match,
it's not a vaudeville show.

How do I see if they're cut with
all that crap on their faces?

Let's go. You got 30 seconds.

And this crowd really
getting behind it

getting with it here
in Reno, Nevada, now.

There's only one way
you gonna win, tonight.

That's if you want it
more than they do.

Just play it straight
and keep cool.

We're the better team.

And remember,
you gotta beat 'em.

If it's a draw,
they're still champs.

Win or lose,
I love you both.

But we come too far to lose.

Go get 'em.

- And whatever happens..
- It's gonna happen.

Referee, Bill Dudley,
says wrestle.


'No problem. Not the end
of the world.'


'That'll be a start.'

'Oh-ho, what a beginning.'

Beautiful, honey.

Alright, shift.

- 'Come on..'
- You were never better, honey.

Get her, Molly,
get her.

- Get back in there, Molly.
- Is this exciting?

'I'd pay to see this,
and I'm cheap.'

Get up, Diane.

- Diane, get up.
- Let it all hang out.

- Watch that choke, Doll..
- That's it.

'Toledo Tigers. My ass.'

Holy moly. What a move.

Alright, now stop
grandstanding. Let's wrestle.

- Watch that choke underneath.
- Don't choke.

- Shut up.
- Ref, she's choking her.

'How long you been dead?'


One more time baby.

Hey, they're both
in there!

June and Diane,
both in there..

Now, the Tigers are winning.
Now, they'll kill 'em.

Get out, I say. Hey, Manager.
You gotta get one of these..

One, two..

Hey, this is bullshit. There's
too many girls in the ring.

Girls, you know
better than that.

They set up London bridge.

- Ow.
- Ow.

The London bridge
comes tumblin' down.

Oh, God.

What are you doing?
Making a circus out of this?

'This is the greatest fight
in history.'


'Smart guy, huh?'

'That's the way.
We'll show them.'

Watch her hair, Tiger.

Not the end of the world.
Don't rush.

Where's your pompom?

Get this man a pompom.
He's the promoter.'

Let's stop grandstanding.
Let's wrestle.'

How'd you like it
so far, Ed?

'Hey, Eddie,
no pompoms?'

'Push out of it, June.'

'Choke hold, ref. Choke hold!'

- That's a choke.
- No choke.

'Look at this.'

- Oh!
- 'Oh!'

'Oh, take your breath away.'

Oh. Hey, look at that.

Take her out, honey.
You got her.

'She got her now.'

'She'll take her out, now.'

- 'Oh, shit.'
- 'Come on, Molly.'

'Get up.'

That hurt Molly. She hit
the deck very, very hard.

- Ha-a-air.
- I'll call it, I'll call it.

'Okay, send her home, baby,
send her home.'

And lookie here.
Fasten your seatbelts.

It's the airplane ride.

Look for the landin' strip.
This is one hell of a fight.

Molly rolls right into June
and reversed that airplane spin

'into a possible pin.'

'Roll out.'

Hey, ref, Hey, Bill.

'What's your name?
Bill or Phil?'

'What's the difference?
How long ya been dead?'

One, two, three.

'Look out, June.'

One, two..

You're robbin' us.

Everybody's so calm.

What do you mean calm.
Get back in that corner.

And referee Dudley's stuck.

It looked like he had a chance
to go for the third cap.

That's exactly
what Iris is hollerin'.

Get off the ropes!

Watch it, ref,
she's on the ropes!

'Finish her off, Diane.'

'Diane's using a double eye..'

'She's gouging her eyes.'

'That's it, Diane.
Don't stop now.'

'Pin her, Diane.
Pin her.'

Come on, are you mute?
Call it, you dog.

- Get in the corner.
- 'Get her, Diane.'


Call it.

What's going on here?

'Ref, she's stamping
on her hair.'

Hey, call it,
would you?

It's beginning to stink here.

'Hey, ref, I know a fish
when I smell one.'

Here's a great wrestling hold.

Diane has Molly in a
figure four head scissors.

That's ropes, God damnit.

And the referee is more now
intent on arguing with Harry

the manager of
the California Dolls

and Iris over in the corner
than he is refereeing the match.

Manager, get down.
Get down from there.

Get down!
I don't give a damn!

There's a lot of money
involved here.

Sears is up screaming.
He's got a five down.

He's got to get down those steps
or face disqualification.

- Break it up.
- She's hanging on the rope.

- Do your job.
- Get out.

You bonehead! I'll tell you.
Don't come over here

I'll take this bag.
I'll shove it right up your ass.

- Choke! Choke!
- Not a choke. No, not a choke.

Watch it.

Go get her, baby.
Go get her.


The crowd sees what you're
doing. It's not a secret.

And so does your mother.

Some of the fans have started
yelling for the dark suited

Toledo Tigers, early in the
evening have now switched

their allegiance over to the
white-clad California Dolls.

Get over there.
Get in that corner.


The California Dolls
asserting themselves now.

That a way, Molly.

'Get up, June.
Roll out!'

Count, you son of a bitch.

He could've tapped them out
four or five times.

Hey, you son of a bitch,
that's bullshit.

'What's going on here?'

We had the fight.
The fight was ours.

Boy, that guy, Dudley.
I don't know about him.

I'm getting suspicious myself,
but that's not for me

I guess, to allege.

Just scared.

- 'What's that ref up to?'
- I don't know what he's doing.

Oh, shit.

You got to get up, Molly.

Watch the fight, you monkey.

'June hits Molly with a
punishing clothesline.'

'Down she goes.'


She's out.

'Hair! Call it.
Call it, you monkey!'

'Come on, June.
Finish her off.'

You baldhead, the kid
is getting killed in there.

- 'Her hair.'
- Hair! Call it.

'Over here, baby.
Bring her to me!'

What's going on?
You buy the referee?

No way, baby, no.

Smells bad to me, John.

This fight is fixed.
No way to win.

Just knock the referee
on his ass.

Son of a bitch has..
Yeah, okay.

Knock the shit out of the
referee. You'll get yours.

- One, two..
- Don't forget.

I'll tell you,
don't come here

I'll take this bag.
I'll shove it up your ass.

You alright?

She stepped back.

Iris missing that
second dropkick

and down goes Iris
on her wallet.

- 'Hey, John. Hey, John.'
- 'That's right. Finish her.'

- 'John, is this on a level?'
- 'I don't even know the bum.'

Hair hair hair,
you freak, hair.

'Get back in that corner.
I say, get back in that corner.'

Oh, they placed Iris up on there
like a cadaver on a slab.

A two hand slam
to the midsection.

You get a chance, you go hit
that referee flat on his ass.

You're going to get yours, pimp.

Get back in the corner.
Get back in the corner.

Molly, fighting
back this time.

She's a raging hellcat
over there.

- Stay in the corner.
- Let me go in.

'Let me in.'

Iris, I think
is totally out now.

'Break it up.
She can't breathe.'

One, two..

Can't you see
what's going on?

Diane and June have Iris
in on a leg choke.

Sometimes, this is called
the old rockin' horse

and sometimes it's used
for submission.

'You just can't breathe.'

'Harry, make them stop!
I can't stand it.'

Only 15 minutes left,
ladies and gentlemen. And Iris..

That's the best
you looked all night.

Watch that fight, you junkie.
Watch that fight.

'Enough is enough, you asshole.
Break it up.'

Alright, tag up.

'Hang in there, Iris,
hang in there.'

Call it, you monkey.
Come on. Give me a break.

'Would you gimme a call?'

'This is a disgrace. This is
entirely a goddamn disgrace.'

One, two..

Come on, baby.

They've got the referee pinned.

They playing yankee doodle dandy
with his head.

Get along, baby.

Yeah. That's right.

You want water? A pillow?

How about another
shot in the ass?

That's the answer, Iris.
Knock the shit out of him.


Ladies and gentlemen,
it's chaotic.

Oh, at the keister bout.


Stay on the ropes.

Watch those ropes.

Damn right,
you son of a bitch..

Forget the rope.
Get out of there.

California Dolls.

'Let's hear it
for The Dolls.'

- Don't double dribble her.
- We're back in the fight.

I would say 75%
of this throng now

is for the white-suited
California Dolls.

No, don't do it again.
Please don't.

Don't do it.

'Take her out'

Come on, tag up.

You blind son of a bitch.

Go get her, Iris.

Tag up. You wanted it hot.
You want..

You wanted a brawl? Alright.

Get out of there. Ow!

The Dolls appear to have taken
things in their hands.

They're lambasting referee
Bill Dudley every chance.

What the..

- 'What are you doing?'
- You wanted a brawl? Fine.

'Get your hands off
my wrestler.'

You want a..

You want a brawl.
We'll turn it into a massacre!

Anybody with
a weak heart, leave.

Watch that elbow.

Out of the ring.
Get out of the ring.

The crowd is going berserk.

'The California Dolls have
picked up followers'

'from the minute
this fight started.'

Stay away from 'em.
We got time on our side.

Let go of me, ref.
Let go of me.


Time running out.
We tie, we lose.

Ref, she's got my hair.

Goddamn suckers.

One, two, three..

Do it again. Hit 'em!
That's it!

Under 2 minutes to go
in this championship bout.

It's at a fever pitch!

- 'Interference here.'
- Iris!


A startling development.

All four wrestlers are outside
the ring, failing away.

Ouch. June, just
slam-dunked Iris

and Iris comes up bloody.

Three, two..

You're hopeless,
you son of a bitch.

...11, 12..

- One..
- Not anymore! Not anymore!




We got 'em.


We can still win this thing.
Got over a minute.

'Get 'em again.
Take 'em out.'

And The Dolls are catapulted
off the apron

by a double shoulder butt.

- 'One, two..'
- Yeah.

Less than a minute to go.



'Oh, God, she's bleeding.'

'They fought against
sunset flips.'

Oh-h! A double sunset flip.
I don't believe it.

'Count, you son of a bitch.'

- Either one or both?
- I don't give a shit. Count.

The referee doesn't
know what to do.

Kids, count!
One, two, three..

One, two, three.

'One, two, three.'

'One, two, three.'

'One, two, three.'

'One, two, three.'

'One, two, three.'

'One, two, three.'

'One, two, three.'

Total happiness
in Reno, Nevada.

You can't get away with this.
I'm gonna protest.

Ha ha ha.

There were too many
people in that--

'I know. There's nothing
we can do about it.'

They looked pretty good.

Coach, you alright?

Alright, you were the champions
three minutes ago

and you gonna be the champions
three months from now.

Now, behave like it. Go over
there and congratulate 'em.

Go on.

'Oh, God, Iris,
I can't believe it.'


Thank you.
You're wonderful wrestlers.

We are the best! Champions!
We did it! We did it!

What a night!
What a fight!

The winners...and new tag team
champions of North America..

...The California Dolls.

Thanks, Joe.

? California here I come ?

? Right back where
I started from ?

So proud.

? Each morning at dawning ?

? Birdies sing an' everything ?

? A sunkissed miss said
don't be late.. ?

Oh, Harry, we did it.
We won.

We're the best!

That's right.
We're the best!

? California here I come ?

? California here I come ?