Ajlawju (1999) - full transcript

PLEOGRAF presents

a film by

produced by

Producers

Director of Photography

My life used to be
like a straight line.

Now it's like
a shapeless spot.

My life is a shapeless spot.

I do.

I do.

I dream of love
for a lifetime.



You are now man and wife.

Each day my hope revives,
that the same thing that happened...

to Master and Margaret,
will happen to me.

I'll meet my beloved.
And love will attack us,

like a killer in a dark alley,

and will hit us hard.

I don't know her yet,
but I already love her.

Who is she?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You're here?
- I am.

Me too.

- Cool, huh?
- Yeah, cool.

Margaret!

- Are you alone?
- Alone.



- Will you come to the party?
- I don't know.

Margaret!

Please come.

Who is this chick?
Maybe some beggar.

- Margaret!
- Get lost.

You slept with me, remember?

- That's Marian.
- Me? With you?

I had a long,
blond hair, then.

- You were afraid to sleep alone.
- That beautiful blond?

- But nothing happened.
- We just slept together.

You didn't even
let me kiss you.

But my fiancé
didn't believe in it.

He?

My husband? No.
I chased him away after that night.

Why?

He let me sleep with you.
Are you married?

- Divorced.
- Me too.

Few years now.
What is he doing here?

I'm divorced for 5 years.

It's just for show.
And we share the flat.

I also live with
my former wife.

Any kids?

- A boy.
- I have a girl. See you.

- Be there.
- Maybe.

For sure.

I LOVE YOU

- Adam!
- Hi.

Why are you so late?

It is late indeed.

Why did you come back
to me so late?

I thought you'd never come.
I needed a drink. Have some.

I don't drink.

Last time I saw you,
you were drinking.

- It's history.
- Ancient one.

For how long?

Almost a year.

- You're a psycho.
- Why?

I'm taking off.

So what did you do,
beside drinking and not drinking.

- I wrote a bit.
- I've heard it's shit.

- It had a good press.
- Maybe, but it's still shit.

"Ethics in eroticism".

You wrote good poems.
This is shit. You're a loser.

This is as important as poems.

I created it under an
internal imperative.

- You look bad.
- People say, I look good.

- You look old.
- People say, 10 years younger.

Very old...
Dance.

It's not a good way
to revive this relationship.

I'm going to.

I'm leaving,
'cause I don't wanna see you.

I'll start again!

You need 20 years
to start again!

In 20 years you'll
be soiling your own bed!

You ruined everything
before it even started!

- I was waiting for you!
- I hate you!

We'll see.

You ride like Szczurkowski.
You mean Szurkowski.

The World Champion.

- What do you do?
- I'm a teacher.

- Nice job.
- Bullshit.

I really think so.

I believe some day
teachers will be appreciated...

respected and well paid.

Kiss me.
We'll fall down.

Take my panties off.
Wait. I'll do it myself.

- I'll unzip your fly.
- OK.

Shit!

- It's stuck.
- Leave it.

But you have your pants on.

Exactly.

I haven't been with a woman
for a long time.

If a man is smart
nothing else matters.

- Let's go to the riverside tomorrow.
- We already are.

That's nonsense.

I hate this shitty town.

Dad...

- What are you doing?
- Washing my pants.

Stupid!

Why am I whispering?

Let's go to the riverside.

To the riverside?

Call me when you come.

It's sick.

- I like to walk with you.
- You do?

I haven't done this for awhile,
but it's perfect with you.

You see.

What am I doing?

Hi.

How many times...

I asked you to untie your laces
before taking your shoes off or on.

You wreck them in a month.
They are all out of shape,

because you do not
untie the laces.

I wear my shoes for 8 years,

until I can hardly
balance in them.

A call for you.

Put your slippers on.
You ruin your socks, too.

It's me.

Yes.

Adam.

I fell in love with you.

I understand.

Ten wasted years.

Each day
like an empty envelope.

Of course.

I have to see you.

I'm going on a business trip.

I'm going on a business trip.

She'll see me.

Stay down.

Who is it?

Adam.

Would you like
some tomato soup?

Thanks, mom.
I'm not hungry.

Is it a dog?

- I'm shuffling my feet.
- He'll carry mud in.

Not there, please.
I'm shy.

But why?

If I knew you better...

Help!

- What happened?
- I don't know.

- It hurts?
- No.

- You want me to stop?
- No.

Get in...

I'm in!

What was it?

What do you mean?

I never felt this...

Margaret, please.

At first, I was frightened.

But only at first?

Oh, God!
Wife and mother.

I love you, Margaret.

I love you too.

Go, or I'll start to cry,
and I hate that.

Margaret?

Adam?

I couldn't sleep. I was thinking
about you all night.

My professor.
I was dreaming about you.

Really?

You bet!

My mouse...

What, my kitten?

Meow, meow...

Pi, pi...

So meow when?

Let's say pi 12:00.

Bye.

Bye.

You hang up first.

No, you.

Stop it, mom.

So, one...

two...

three.

11:00. She'll come
at 12:00.

Mom!

- What is it?
- What time's dinner?

- What time do you want?
- Half past two.

Half past two?

I have to slave all day long.

- You asked. 14:00?
- Of course.

If it can't be earlier.

Earlier?

We have two hours.

We drink coffee, make love,
and go for a walk.

Or we make love, walk,
and make love again.

It's 11:45.

If she's early,
we can talk in bed.

11:50.
Plenty of time.

Jesus!
I won't hear her knocking.

Margaret?

Is someone there?

No.

What if she's late?

We won't talk in bed.
We'll talk while walking.

I have to be smooth.

She's late.

11:59.

It's a minute to 12:00.

The clock is fast.
12:00.

Maybe her car broke down?

Maybe she's calling me?

Any calls?

No.

A waste of time.

She dropped by Nelka's;
maybe they're talking.

So we won't go for a walk.

I'm waiting,
and she's gossiping.

We won't have time to
make love twice.

- Mom?
- Yes.

- How about half...
- What?

- past two?
- Dinner?

Why half past?

I wanna go out somewhere,
as well.

First you'll eat,
then you'll meet.

At 13:00
I put potatoes on.

At 13:00? It's 12:15!
We can't make it even once.

Maybe once.

It can be at half past.

Hi. Where are you going?

- I'm just walking.
- We have a date.

- At what time?
- 12:00.

- And what time is it?
- You tell me!

- No, you.
- A quarter past.

17, near 20 almost half past!

- Don't be mad.
- But I'm waiting for you.

I said around 12:00.

You said:
"Let's say pi 12:00".

It means
around 12:00.

It means 12:00
if you'd be anxious to meet me.

I'm a bit late.

But I'm a bundle of nerves.

It's just a few minutes.

- 'Cause your not that anxious.
- I dropped by Nela's to talk.

You really had to?

You were chatting
and I was waiting like a fool.

- Why did you go there?
- To say I was coming to see you.

- It could have been marvelous!
- It still can be.

It can't! You've ruined
my attitude to you!

Don't shout, please.

You're the last
blond in my life.

Why men always prefer blondes?

He thinks if he wants her,
she wants him as well.

They burn us up
but they remain as cold as ice.

Ice Queens.
They only do it once a year.

Hi.

You said, I'll be back
after 17:00,

so we can learn English",
wasn't it?

What time is it now?
Quarter to six.

Ten to six!

Eleven.

After 17:00 means 5, 15,
or maximum 20 minutes after.

Then you say,
"I'll be around 17:30".

And if it's like today,
"I'll be around 18:00".

If you'd be here after 17:00,
it'd be maximum 17:15.

17:20.

We could still have 30 45 min.
for English lesson.

But now we can do nothing.

Everything is just...

But for me...

I'm through.

Son... Come back
when you say you will.

OK.

Yes?

I have a positive
attitude now.

That's good.

And if she didn't come?

- You look beautiful.
- Come on.

- So you look terrible.
- Really?

Take it back.

Are you tired?

Not that much.

Professor.

- Hi, Margaret!
- Hi!

What brings you here?

I just dropped off my wife.

- Married again?
- Again.

Which is?

Third time.

Good for you!

- How is Maniek?
- I don't know.

I see you've got a new man.
Gotta run.

Coming along.

Lead the way.

- Take care.
- Bye!

- Regards to your wife.
- And you...

Nice meeting you.

Adam Meowczynski.
Rysiek.

Shit!

Are we going to your place?

My place?
You're following that teddy bear.

What teddy bear?

Rysiek, the one you cuddled,
like you've never had enough.

He's Maniek's friend,
witness at our wedding.

It's no reason to touch him.

Was I touching him?

You were all over his arms,

chest, finger. Why didn't you
grasp his bulky butt.

Go, and get more!

- Adam.
- It's me.

Don't stand there.

Any man suits you.

Are you mad?
What man?

- Your hands get crazy...
- You get crazy!

- when you see men's pants.
- I'm not a lesbian.

You like guys.

Coming in?

I'm not in the mood
to be with you.

When you will be?

I'll call you, when I get rid of
my bad attitude to you.

Is that you?

- Yes.
- Hang the key.

Adam!

Adam!

It's me.

May I?

You may.

I'm a fine girl,
for fuck's sake.

You are.

Why are you torturing me then?

I don't wanna wait for your
positive attitude.

Everyone says
I'm a foxy chick.

You think I'm gonna spend
my life waiting for you?

You don't have to.

Seven minutes left.

Zojka and Nela ask me,
"What are you waiting for?".

"You are a fine catch."

Niuska says, "Get rid of him".

"He can't handle it."

"He's too weak.
He has no guts."

Find yourself a tough guy.

I don't have to.
They find me.

Maniek would come crawling back
if you got rid of that prick from Lodz.

Then do it.
And don't call me that.

There are many.

Then go to them.

Do you think
I'm faulty or something?

Just go!

They are waiting.
Maybe I've already gone?

Run to them!
Get the fuck out of here!

Who gave you the license
to torment you and me?

I have enough of this torture.

- Hi, son.
- Hi.

Hi, mama.

Hi, daddy.

I won't call her.

You know... They started
to play "A Few Good Men"...

I have to make a call.

Hello.

I propose friendship and sex.
You want some you call.

Same as me.

What about feelings?

You can make love without
feeling, talking, even kissing.

Like cowboys do.

If either of us finds someone else
to sleep with, we're through.

Even if you don't like them,
you can't come back.

No hanging on with others.

Sharing ass is not the way to go.

Friendship and sex.

OK.

I love you.

Sorry. I won't
say it again.

- Fuck! Pass the ball!
- Pass it, prick!

Fuck! Pass it here!

I'm Sylvester's father.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

Pass it, motherfucker!

He doesn't run
like other guys.

He runs...

- A lot.
- But different.

He runs forward.

Everybody else runs
from heel to toes.

But he runs from toes to heel.

You're right.

Fuck with this!

- His legs are deformed.
- Deformed? Like a horse?

It's normal these days.

- Pass the ball, motherfucker!
- You'd fuck it anyway.

What to do with this?

You fuck it big time!

Rehabilitation.

Fuck off, you shit!

We'll do it, when I come back.

"A few words
about sucking a penis."

You never kiss me,
or caress me.

We kiss.

On the lips, yes.

But before we make love,
I kiss you everywhere.

- I play with your tits.
- Play?

So they stand like on a parade.
I kiss your belly...

your navel...

Lick you all over...

Because I love you all.

I can feel that.

And I don't.

Why don't you kiss my chest.

- Or my belly, or even lower.
- No.

Why not?
Don't you love me down there?

I do.

So, caress it.

Kiss it.
Put it in your mouth.

- No way.
- Don't you like it?

I don't know.
I've never done it.

It's so nice.

I knew, you'd
force me to do it.

Marian was mad, cause
I didn't wanna do him either.

I'm not mad.

I just want you to try.
Lick the tip.

- I feel sick.
- You've never done it.

That's true, but even
with my finger... I feel sick.

Finger yes, but not this.

And with a toothbrush,
I also feel sick.

It's not a toothbrush.
It tastes marvelous.

- It has no taste.
- How do you know?

I've heard.
Maybe someday.

Someday? Try today!

- Enough talking.
- But you won't do it anyway.

- Cause you're mad at me.
- I want you all.

- Me too.
- Come on!

You want me
to make you feel good.

You don't know
what you are talking about.

I know I want you to suck me.

I didn't say I wouldn't do it.

- Do it today.
- Never!

- Never?
- Not today.

- So lick it.
- Don't start.

With a tip of your tongue.

- Wanna force me?
- Yes.

- No!
- Just once.

- You want me to throw up?
- What?

- I won't suck it.
- You won't?

- I'm adult.
- Kiss me once.

- Not today.
- I don't love you.

- I'm going home.
- Go. I'm not a part time lover.

She won't come.

Or maybe she will.

She won't.

Hello.

Hi!

You've been drinking.

A bit.

I had a long drink.

You shouldn't.

Could you come over?

We had an agreement.

I need you, Adas.

You promised me.

I need you like air.

Again?

Yes. Will you come?

No!

Go fuck yourself.

Margaret!

Margaret!

I'll be back, Gary.

You'll see, Gary.

I'll be back.

Margaret!

Get lost!
Go back to your place!

Open, or I'll
break down the doors!

Adam, my love!

The man of my life.

Please open up.

This is Gary.

Maybe he threw her
out of her bed.

You're no man at all.

You go, Mrs. Margaret.

Just Margaret, OK?

And you go, too.
Who are you, anyway?

He is my whole life.

That's my father's armchair.

Take her out, please.

My fuckin' husband
rented the place.

And now a nigger
is relaxing on it.

- Let's go.
- To your place?

Come on.

We're off.

- You're no macho, Gary.
- I know nothing about it.

You're not a man.

Please, take her out.

Let's go, Margaret.

Such a big man
afraid of a woman.

- Let's go.
- You go.

Margaret!

I'm coming.

I feel like I was dead
for so many years.

Like I wasn't here.

It was like a sentence.
It was like a prison sentence.

But something
was bursting inside me.

She forgot about me.

Did you have to drink?

Get lost.
I wanna play.

You ruin the harmony.

Get off the piano.

- You ruined everything.
- Fuck with that.

You had to?
Tell me?!

You really had to?
You couldn't resist?

Come on, hit me, you scum!

Did you have to drink?

And act like a whore?!

Did you really have to?

I won't let you hit me!

Why? Why!

- I'll put you to bed.
- Fuck off, you little prick.

He cried in the shower.

His tears mixed up
with water and soap, but he...

cried out loud...

like in Greek theater."

I can't stand it any longer.

Me either...

I've been crying all morning.

There's no sense
in torturing one another.

We can live apart...

only what for?

I don't know.

Don't drink anymore.

I wanted to do this.

- What?
- You know what.

French love?

There are kids around.

- You really wanted this?
- I can't do it sober.

My sweet little Margaret!

I knew it would be like that.

She wanted to have an alibi.

She'll call me when she's tipsy
and say, "Hi, it's me".

If she were here, but
she won't tell me where she is.

I have to keep calm.

"I'm coming over",
and then I'll beat her good.

Registered letter.

"Don't call me drunk."
"But I do. What's up?"

"Get lost, and don't call me
even if you're sober."

If she comes here drunk,
I'll kick her ass.

I'll do it. I swear.

It's me.

Margaret?

That's right.

My little mouse...

I'm coming over.

I'm waiting.

Bye, bye.

I love you...

I'm crazy about you!

I love you, Margaret!
I really do!

Why now?

I can't even speak English.

I won't understand a word.

But I've studied for 20 years
and I still can't speak English.

I have to learn it
to be somebody.

Maybe, when I come back,
they'll value me more.

But why now?

Why do things happen
all at once?

Why didn't I get that scholarship
before I knew her?

It's just like Lodz here.

I have to focus
on important things.

If I'm going to survive here
I have to forget about her.

I have to cheat on her,
even in my thoughts, but then...

our love will fade.

I'm here but my mind
is still with Margaret.

Shit! Fuck!

It's all wrong.

If I'm supposed
to live here...

I have to live my own,
separate life.

It's a trap.
What will happen when I get back?

I'll be still thinking about it.

I've lost my quiet harbor.

And how am I supposed
to go on living?

A vicious circle.

It's a paradox.

If I stay loyal to you,
it'll eat my heart out.

Or I can cheat on you.

Maybe you have
already done it?

And if you did we can no longer
be together as one.

I was in the world's
second highest building,

but I can't enjoy it
without you.

You are far more important
for me than America.

Even more important,
than me myself.

I cannot exist without you.

Maybe it's your fault?

I denied everything
that is mine.

I can no longer
put everything on you.

Why didn't you stop me?

Why didn't you say,
"America or me"?

I can't bear it.

What is it?

I'm making love to your shirt.

Drinking is bad for you.

Come to me.

It's overseas.

Take a swim.

I'm about to explode.

Wait for me.

I can't. I'm coming!

One moment.

That's it!

Adas...

That's it!

It'll shrink from
lack of activity.

I have to slap it so
it will be bigger when it's swollen.

It's a bit humiliating.

I adore you!

It's 6:45 there.

I'll tell her, I love her.
She will be happy to hear me.

She's not there...

She's not there.

Tell me God, shall I
call her mother? No?

Hello.

Is Margaret there?
She is at her place.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Did he screw her?

- Did he?
- But did he?

She didn't come back home.

I'd strangle her
with my own hands.

Is this how women
and mothers do?

And wives maybe?

They say, "I'm yours".
She didn't come home.

She didn't come home!

And I don't understand
a single word here.

I don't understand a thing.

If she'll get drunk again,

she'll jump
in someone else's bed.

I'm sure of that!

You harden me like steel.
Burn me up and then...

cool me down fast.

I can either break down
and you'll despise me...

or get strong...

And break you down.

We cannot be partners again.

Or even friends.

If she saw that...

She wouldn't resist.

It's not something special.

A regular one, but...

it's adequate.

We're fighting like boxers.

A real cock should be big
and strong, not like mine.

It's over.
You're alone now.

If you fight her,
she'll beat you up.

You have to brace yourself.
Each day is a fight...

with her!
The moment you feel safe...

she'll get you.

So you have to
protect yourself.

If not, she'll destroy you.

I'm such a fool.

She's 15 minutes late,
for fuck's sake,

and I'm fuckin' jealous!
Never again! She's late?

No problem.
I can get dressed instead.

Or do anything else.

Fuck her!

Fuck it! She destroys
my integrity.

Fuck!
No fuckin' more!

I'm such a fool.
I'm fed up with women!

I trusted her,
but if she's cheating on me,

if I'm not that important,
then fuck it!

The end!

Cockroaches.

I only understand
the laughter.

You'll never know
how much I've suffered here.

How I've changed.
I had my feelings for you...

but now I'm a...

conformist...

a cynic and easy going fellow.

As they say, a regular guy.

I had to do it to survive.

It's over, Margaret.

It really is.

Try on the dress.

I've already tried it.

- For a while. Just for me.
- It's not for me.

I bought it specially for you.
I'd like to see you wear it.

I told you to get
a flowing one.

They are all flowing.

- This one is tight.
- And sexy.

- For a whore.
- Don't be such a nun.

- I won't wear it.
- But it's great.

I've seen it on the girls.

They dare to wear it?
Put it on!

No way!

I'll do it. I paid
200 bucks for it.

200! It's the money, huh?
You provoked me. Put it on!

Let me be! I won't!

- Put on my dress!
- If it's yours, you wear it!

- I've already done it!
- Then wear it permanently!

You will wear it
or we're through!

Hi, Adam. Have a drink with me.
My man is drunk again.

What would you like?
You don't drink.

Tell me how to quit drinking?
You surely know that.

OK. Gotta go.

Make me a scout.

One says a scout,
others screwdriver.

Are you drunk, or what?

Why?

Don't help me, please.

I need to breathe!

No watch, no ring he's single.

We have to cool you down.

Why?

It's good I'm not
a virgin anymore.

I just want to see Dickie
once in a while.

Who?

Your dick.

It's ideal for me.
He doesn't analyze, or paraphrase.

Doesn't sum up, conclude.
Makes no mention.

Just does what he should,
and nothing else matters.

Women say men are chauvinists.

See? Don't fu...

- Sorry.
- ...ck with me.

So why are you
still coming back?

Cause I had my first
orgasm with you.

I always want to satisfy you,
not just myself.

- But I like that.
- What?

When you take me so
fast and rough, like an animal.

- It's easy to be a rabbit.
- Do it like a rabbit.

I'll always be satisfied,
cause you opened me.

When you touch me
or when I just think of it...

suddenly I'm coming.

I have never felt that,
with anybody, even with...

I'll kill you!

Get lost before I do it!

Don't cry.

- They beat you at home?
- You're a slut.

You drag men in a hole.
But you survive.

You destroy everything.

I've started to drink again,
although I thought I wouldn't.

You ruined my love.
And now you come back.

After all that.
I drunk hard for 3 weeks.

And when I pick myself up...

you come over and destroy
my barely recovered calm.

Fuck your calm.
What about mine?

I think and talk about you
all the time.

You smoke?

And I drink, too.

You did that, sometimes.

Now I do it every day,
because of you.

But you left me.

I still do.

The point is...

I want you to fuck me
sometimes.

Because you are the first man...

who satisfies me.

- Is it OK?
- It's OK.

So...

fuck me sometimes.

Margaret...

Where is he? Sleeping?

No...
He's been up for me.

What was it?

A fence.

- You went over the fence?
- The taxi driver helped me.

Did he touch your ass?

Was he supposed
to touch my head?

A teacher,
mother of a teenage girl.

Shut up and fuck me!

What do you want?
You buried me alive.

Now you come to fuck me?
I can't die each month.

You wanna kill me in installments?

How are you feeling?

Like in heaven.

Me too.

Margaret.

You raised your hand to me.

I'm sorry.

- Second time.
- I regret that.

- Now you'll be beating me.
- I don't hit women.

The fist easy moves.

Why did you talk like that?

I didn't fuck with anybody...

until today

And today?

I did it.

Who was it?

Well...

You.

What is this all about?

He wants more.

You provoked me.

I'll hit you so hard
you'll loose your teeth.

I prefer to get hit
than hit myself.

I'll hit you unexpectedly.

When you're getting
the Pulitzer prize or something.

I won't.

You will. Assholes like you
always get what they want.

You'd describe
how you beat me.

"I lost my temper and hit her."

Hit me.

Fuck you!

I'll hit you hard,
so you loose your teeth,

and you won't be able
to talk properly.

You'll say,
"Senk you feri matsch".

Hit me at will.

Maniek wants to come back
to me from Uganda.

Why are you telling me that?

I can't be with anybody.

I'm a bad girl.

I love you when it is
all right between us.

Then my love grows.
And you...

You love me
when things go wrong.

It's more fun.

When I hit you like a dog.

We are like two doggies.
What's happening out there?

We're not like doggies,
nor humans.

We're like rivals.

I have to win, because
you love only your conquerors.

It's a strike, or something.

You don't give me a chance
to love you.

You hate me for that.

I can't show you my feelings,
and that is essential for me.

I've got to hide them.

That's the worst loneliness, to be
lonely with the one I love.

So I'm out.

I need a woman,
who'll let me love her...

And be soft and tender.

Who I'll know my weaknesses
and won't use them against me.

Why did you picked me?
You like Bruce Willis.

And you Michelle Pffeifer,
but you let me pick you.

His face is like a tile.
And her eyes cross eyed like a koala's.

So?

You just like guys
totally different than me.

Yeah? What kind?

Bald with big muscles.
A "real man".

You've seen too many movies.
He has to be heavy, slow, too,

with a big belly,
red snout, and wide legs.

He has to eat
yesterday's pizza,

and drink canned beer
from the fridge.

You even prefer brutal sex.
You don't care about me,

and that I always think
of your satisfaction first.

You find me soft.
You make love to me...

but you dream of a primitive
beast with enormous cock.

I've never said you're
a bad lover. Even in anger.

But I know
you prefer it different...

I've always said
you are professor.

more virile, more primitive,
more savage.

You know better what I prefer?

Because I feel it.

You are not my son, Adas.

Did you hear?

No. About what?

I am not your father.

That Adam in not
one of the Carringtons.

So?

That he isn't their son.

Aha.

So what? What about it?

So he isn't.

Since we're together,
you cried only once.

At the beginning, when you
fell in love with me.

Why should I cry?

- You cry for Carrington's son.
- Because he's not their son!

Please, go.

I'll stay.

Adam turned out
not to be Carrington.

It's me.

I still can't forget,
you kissed him.

- When?
- At your prom, when we met.

We weren't together then.

We could have been
if you haven't had kissed him.

It was several years ago.

Anyway...
it's a crack on the past.

I feel betrayed...
I can't get calm...

And that's the way it will be.

If I married you,
you would have me then.

And I would feel trapped.

You won't come back
or you'll come back drunk,

and I won't do anything.

I'll have to sit tight.

You'll be watching sitcoms
and I'll have to stand it.

We'll make love when you want,
and there'll be nothing I can do.

I'll always be a loser.

- I am a loser now.
- We'll fall down.

And then, what then?