Agatha and the Curse of Ishtar (2019) - full transcript
On an archaeological dig in Iraq, author Agatha Christie uncovers a series of murders.
SPADE DIGS INTO HARD EARTH
RUBBLE TUMBLES
HE LAUGHS
MAN'S VOICE: Max...
Max...
Patrick?
HE STRUGGLES TO SPEAK
Ishtar.
LAUGHTER
Well, did you call for the police?
Of course not. A little thing like
that wasn't going to scare me.
You ran away?
Well then, what did you do?
Do you really want to know?
Of course.
I said, "Put that away or I'll chop
it off,
"feed it to the pigeons, and watch
you bleed to death in the gutter."
Hm.
I'm thinking of moving
into refrigerators.
Men have no sense of humour.
I have no sense of humour.
Nonsense. Your books are very funny.
You're too kind.
That's not something I'm often
accused of.
You're an archaeologist?
My husband is an archaeologist.
I'm an illustrator...
..and a provocateur. Who do
you provoke?
Men.
Perhaps you could give me
some advice.
Well, that depends what you're
looking for.
Another husband?
Sex?
Romance.
Isn't that just a prelude to sex?
It's...longing and passion,
desire and fulfilment.
Sounds like sex to me. I'm trying to
write about it.
I like your books as they are.
I don't want to be remembered as the
woman who wrote
100 detective novels. I'm moving on.
To romance? It seems I have a lot
to learn.
I...don't know the first thing
about it, but I am sure I can help.
Leonard! Yes, dear?
Would you say Iraq is romantic?
Romantic?
My God, it is the very essence
of romance.
Think of Nammu and Enlil.
Think of Inanna and Dumuzi.
Think of the sparkling waters
of the Tigris.
That's what I was telling Agatha.
She wants to visit us to do some
research into romance.
Oh... Excellent idea.
Come to our death pit.
That is a very kind offer,
but I don't think one can
research romance.
As you like.
I'm sure you'll find your
feet eventually.
And if you don't...
..you know where to find us.
STRANGE SQUEAL
STRANGE SQUEAL
DISTAND LAUGHTER/MAN CLEARS THROAT
You naughty little archaeologist.
I am dirty. You're my favourite
little artefact.
Inspect me. Give me an inspection.
Let me dust your little dirty pot.
Ooh!
THEY LAUGH
HE BARKS
THEY LAUGH
A little surprise...
THUD/THEY GROAN
Oh, darling, yes.
Yes! Oh-ho-ho! Ohh!
SHE SIGHS
You hate it.
Of course not. You like it?
I...
It's about romance.
I see. And passion.
It's not finished.
I should take it elsewhere.
Oh, no! It's...
..a bold change of direction.
Very...
..unexpected.
So, you'll publish it?
How are things going
with our next detective novel?
That depends. It does? On what?
On whether you'll publish that.
Well, as you say, it's
not finished.
But you'll publish it when it is.
When do you expect that to be?
I don't know. Does it matter?
Well, it needs to be soon.
It mustn't interfere with...
..with the plans for our
Belgian friend. Mm.
Heaven forbid.
When would you want it?
THEY WHISPER
Two months. Two months?!
I should say that's more than enough
time for a passion project.
After all, one can't
research romance. Mm?
THEY LAUGH/SNORT
SEAGULLS CAW/SEA SWELLS
Excuse me?
Have we arrived?
To Ur.
The dig.
SHE MIMES CHOKING
The Death Pits.
Yes, yes.
The Death Pits.
Hello?
Hello? Mr Woolley?
It's Agatha Christie.
We met at
General Seagrave's house...?
I wired Katharine.
She's expecting me.
Oh, hello.
Are you all right?
I was just looking for something.
You're bleeding. You need
a doctor. I...
I'd take you, but I have no
idea where we are.
What happened?
Someone shot me.
Ah!
Ah! Oh!
You need medical assistance?
The person in need of help is
outside in a car?
Karim!
I understand.
The bullet is small.
Hasn't penetrated the bone.
He may have a minor fracture.
He has a thick head.
Would you like me to take
a look at that?
Oh, it's nothing.
Mm.
Is there anything further
I can do for him?
Call me if he doesn't wake up.
If I may suggest,
should there be a next time,
perhaps try a larger gun.
Goodnight, madame.
CALL TO PRAYER SOUNDS
Can you hear me?
Do I know you? No, we've never met.
I'm sure we have.
Well, sometimes people
think they've met me.
It's an unfortunate consequence
of being a bit famous.
Oh. You're famous? That explains it.
Let me guess. You're the wife
of a well-known politician?
No. I'm not famous by marriage.
Then you're a well-known
home economist? Like Mrs Beeton.
No, I'm not famous for my
practical housekeeping.
I've got it. You're an actress.
THEY LAUGH
Retired, of course.
My name is Agatha Christie.
I'm a writer.
No. Sorry, never heard of you.
You found me. Last night, you...
You saved me.
I offered what assistance I could.
You'll need to settle your bill
and take your souvenir.
Oh, my leg.
It feels like I've been run over.
Really? Perhaps you fell.
I wonder, would you mind driving me
back to my lodge?
I won't be able to work the clutch.
You do realise someone
tried to kill you?
My advice is that you
go to the police.
You obviously don't know Iraq.
I'm not the one in bed with
a bullet wound.
I'm investigating
the murder of my friend.
No doubt another matter you
kept from the police.
Of course not.
I found him in a sealed tomb
surrounded by stolen artefacts.
The police said
he was bitten by a snake.
When I went back to investigate,
someone shot me.
The person who killed your friend.
It all adds up,
when you think about it.
Unless you're confusing deduction
with speculation.
Really? And you're an expert
in these sorts of things?
I, erm... It's been a difficult
few days.
If you could just help me
get back home.
Well, I'm afraid last
night's adventures
have severely delayed me.
My hosts are probably calling
the embassy.
Where are you going? Perhaps we
could go together.
I'm due at Ur, as the guest of
Mr and Mrs Leonard Woolley.
Kate and Leo! What a
perfect coincidence.
I'm one of Leonard's archaeologists.
If you know the Woolleys you must
have heard of me. I...
I live with them. I'm almost family!
I'm Max. Max Mallowan.
Oh, you're Max!
Max Mallowan!
They never mentioned you.
Were you expecting the police?
No.
Just stop here.
This is murder!
Plain and simple.
You should be hunting
down the monster who did this!
Oh, Agatha!
Oh, thank God you're here.
Something terrible has happened.
This is Agatha Christie.
The world's greatest detective.
Now that she's here,
heaven help the person who
killed Ella.
You can bugger off now.
Agatha?
How shall we begin
our investigation?
KNOCK ON DOOR
I'm sorry about yesterday.
I behaved appallingly.
I didn't even say thank you.
You're not staying?
Coming here was a mistake.
Why did you come?
For the archaeology.
How well do you know the Woolleys?
I met them once.
My decision to come was
a little impulsive.
It's not what I expected.
It can be something of a madhouse.
Would you like to visit another dig?
I have a friend
excavating near Kirkuk.
It's much more...normal.
What will you do?
Nothing.
I'm used to it.
Used to people trying to kill you?
I can handle that.
What if they try again?
They won't.
How do you know? I'll do some
detective work of my own.
Find them first.
Detective work?
Like the continental hop?
Like archaeology.
Follow the clues.
Isn't that what got you
shot in the first place?
I'll be more careful.
How do you think the monkey died?
It spent most of its time
biting people
and stealing things from our rooms.
I suppose someone finally cracked.
I'm sure, but...how, not why.
They strung her up.
We all saw that.
Have you ever tried to hang
a monkey?
Well, um...
I suppose it would be quite
difficult.
You'd have to catch it
then tie a noose round its neck
then...
..stop it from doing what a monkey
does best then climbing away.
Also, the realities of hanging
are quite grim.
The body...
..purges.
Why would anyone fabricate
a monkey's death?
What are you doing here?
Stopping you from getting yourself
killed, I should think.
Well, in that case,
you'll have to stay.
You wouldn't
want my death on your hands.
If I'm going to help,
I need to send a telegram.
Maybe I could...
LAUGHING AND SLAPPING
I've met them before.
SLAPPING
WOMAN: Oh, I like that.
Do that again!
Their morning constitutional's
usually...quite short.
WOMAN GASPS
Telegram?
I'll send it right away.
And then I'll make a proper
introduction to our residents.
Or should I say suspects?
Who's Conan Doyle?
You're not very well read, are you?
Too busy translating
Sumerian poetry.
Where's our benefactor?
Avoiding me, no doubt.
Have you met the lodge's
resident aristocrat?
Not yet.
Years of inbreeding have left him
mostly harmless.
But somehow still
capable of paying for your lunch.
Is he with Constance?
Sorry! God! I keep forgetting.
SIR Constance! Perhaps your husband
and the good lord
are finding common ground
across the generational divide.
Do the pictures of the men with
pointy hats
go above or below the river?
The men with pointy hats
are archers.
If you turn them in the
direction of fire...
No. Not seeing it.
Looks like a Ku Klux Klan
convention to me.
Mrs Christie.
It's a real pleasure.
I don't read books, but if I did,
yours would be the books I'd be
reading.
Delighted to meet you,
Lord Ponsonby.
They tracked me
down and gave me a title,
but I'm about as much of an earl as
Leonard is the king of California.
Call me Marmaduke, please.
Now...
..after the events of yesterday,
you must have a very poor opinion
of the operation that I run here.
Not at all. I'm sure it's great
shock to everyone.
Especially the monkey.
I've been telling Katharine to
get rid of that pest
ever since the day it arrived.
It's been nothing but trouble.
Still,
events have to be taken seriously.
No, you're right.
And what with...Patrick's death
and Max's adventures...
How are you doing?
Grateful to Mrs Christie for her
impeccable typing.
You should be grateful to the
person who shot you
with a girl's gun.
Being stupid is not heroic,
despite what you English think.
And whilst we're on the subject
of lucky escapes,
I want to make a formal complaint
about the total disregard of agreed
blasting protocol.
I nearly lost an eye yesterday,
thanks to Miss Barnard's
incompetence.
Sorry.
I mean claustrophobia.
Shame it wasn't
the one on the back of your head,
although after the recent
flood of artefact theft,
maybe that one's already gone blind.
Well, unless, of course, its sole
purpose is other people's business.
My only interests are other
people's property.
You're not the only one.
If you hadn't been creeping around,
you wouldn't have got hurt.
These are all important matters.
We must improve the security
and safety of our dig.
This is no laughing matter.
What does monkey taste like?
Bitter almonds, I hope!
Mrs Christie, telegram for you.
Oh. Assuming we're not eating
the evidence...
..I think I might be able to help.
Did you enjoy meeting Marmaduke?
Well, he's...
..certainly a character.
Are you all right?
Oh, it's just a graze.
I told you it was the wrong site.
You shouldn't have been there.
The only way to know is to dig.
I'm glad you're OK.
Hello. I'm Agatha.
Pearl Theroux.
I'll get those things.
What's your role here?
That depends.
On what?
On whether my role is what
I was employed to do
or what I find myself doing.
I was employed as a companion
to Katharine
and told I would assist
illustrating the finds.
When I got here,
I found Katharine already had
a companion
and my duties are better
described as dogsbody.
I haven't met Katharine's companion.
She's about 2ft tall and dead.
The monkey.
Perhaps now I'll get a promotion,
although if Katharine preferred
the company of a screeching
kleptomaniac to a young woman,
I'm not sure.
Well,
you're an attractive young woman.
Youth can be threatening.
It can be bloody annoying.
I've a doctorate in medicine
during the reign of Hammurabi.
Max is the same age as me
and he's worked two digs.
I imagine that must be very
difficult.
It's unfair.
And the funders are all men.
Rich, independent women able to
further the cause of emancipation
by helping to understand the origins
of civilisation are hard to come by.
Indeed.
I'd better be getting back
to my duties.
God help us if we run out of gin.
In 563 BC, Amel-Marduk allowed his
kingdom to descend into chaos.
I warned Max this meant
Nebuchadnezzar's burial records
were likely a fabrication.
He didn't listen.
Men struggle to take
advice from women.
It's threatening?
It's also hard to listen when you're
staring at someone's tits.
MUSIC PLAYS
SCRAPING
Everything OK?
Are they the new instructions?
Some new clue?
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
I borrowed one of your books
from Katharine.
The detective was forever holding
back information
that would help solve the crime.
Is that what you're doing?
Are you and Pearl involved?
No.
Whatever gave you that idea?
She's young.
The Acadians believed that
youth was a curse.
I tend to agree.
Why the ridiculous question?
I'm not sure.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
We need its liver.
I see.
Where's that?
How should I know?
What does it say?
Remove the liver.
I know where my kidneys are.
I think.
What does it look like?
Like the sort you eat, I imagine.
Thin and fleshy and mahogany colour.
Or is that kidneys?
I'm an archaeologist.
You'd better start digging.
Have you got it?
I think so.
HE GASPS
Oh... Wait a minute.
SPLAT!
Oh! No...
Oh... I don't know what that is. No.
But I've never eaten it.
I'll be right as rain in a minute.
Hmm.
Who'd have thought...?
Got it.
Dilute sulphuric acid...
..at a ratio of 1 to 5.
Add potassium dichromate.
How much?
I wish you'd tell me
what we're looking for.
It's like you hold back information
for maximum dramatic effect.
Liver, please.
How long does it take?
Nothing's happening.
Strychnine.
Poison!
The monkey was poisoned.
Why would you poison a monkey?
Why indeed?
And then hang it?
The monkey saw something.
Or perhaps it was an accident.
The monkey found the poison
and drank it,
poison that was
meant for somebody else.
Patrick! I was right. It wasn't
a snake bite.
The black desert cobra does
produce a neurotoxin,
but the muscle spasms you
describe in Mr Mulholland
are indicative of strychnine.
The killer of your funder is
living in this lodge!
Ah...
Of course,
we-we will need to confirm it.
Pfft.
Where was Mr Mulholland buried?
I imagine a similar test
will suffice.
I have an appointment with
Sir Constance.
Yes, Mrs Christie. Take a seat.
Mrs Christie.
I hoped we'd meet at the lodge.
Thank you for seeing me.
I must say, I'm a great admirer.
When my wife died,
your books kept me from...
Well, I don't know what.
Then we have something in common.
I had no idea Iraq was such
a hotbed of innovation.
Imagine what it'll
be like in 100 years.
Progress gives me a headache.
But then I'm a reasonable man.
I went surfing with Bernard Shaw.
He couldn't stand up.
Please, do come through.
Ah!
I've only just moved in.
A recent change of duties.
A promotion?
Yes. At my age, unexpected.
HE CHUCKLES
Now, why have you come to see me?
Lucy told me what happened to Ella.
You're not really looking into this
monkey business?
My writing requires constant
inspiration.
When an opportunity presents itself,
I find it hard to resist.
Fire away, but cards on the table -
I hated that monkey,
even though it proposed no direct
threat to His Majesty's Government.
Patrick Mulholland.
From what I hear,
he was a very decent man.
We grew up together.
He was a great friend.
To me and the British Museum.
He was also the brains in the
partnership with Lord Ponsonby.
He had great
plans for their two digs.
If you don't mind me asking,
what does his death have
to do with you?
I'm helping Mr Mallowan.
It seems his recent
encounter with a bullet
is related.
Surely this is
a matter for the police?
Yes, but from what I hear, they
don't seem to be doing anything.
I imagine it's a complicated affair.
Lots of moving parts.
Then you are confident that
Max's would-be killer
will be brought to justice?
HE SIGHS
Not really.
My advice to Mr Mallowan is to stay
away from whatever hornet's nest
he disturbed.
I said the same thing,
but he's very young.
There isn't a thing from my youth
I still hold dear.
If only the young understood that.
I think Mr Mulholland was poisoned.
Yes, by a snake.
More likely a woman.
Or a man.
I see! And you
want my assistance to find out?
Very well.
But if I help you, I would ask you
do something for me.
Of course.
Whatever I can.
Your husband, Archie...
We divorced.
It's a matter of public record.
He had an affair.
She was much younger than he.
24.
What is this about? I'm very sorry.
I'll get to the point.
My wife Lucy is 20 years
younger than me.
She's having an affair with a person
considerably younger than her.
Betrayal is a horrible thing.
I'm reconciled to it.
The problem is not the affair,
but the person she's having it with.
You expect her to be hurt...
..and you'd like that avoided?
With your experience, I thought
you might be able to advise her.
She'll listen to you.
I can't be expected to succeed.
Your best efforts will suffice.
And you'll look into what
killed Mr Mulholland?
Is this diplomacy?
As much as I enjoy your books,
I must say,
your talents are wasted.
Shoo.
Oh! Hello!
Are you digging your own grave?
Sorry!
I'm not dressed for company.
Indeed.
Did Sir Constance help you?
Yes.
What are you doing?
The monkey.
I promised Katharine we'd bury it.
Seems a little big.
She has a coffin.
How old are you?
25.
Almost.
Same age as Pearl.
She's 24.
Marmaduke? 27.
Ezekiel? 29.
Why the sudden interest?
Are there any other young people who
spend time at the lodge?
I'm not going to tell you.
Why not?
Because you don't tell me anything.
Lucy's having an affair with
someone younger than her,
and I need to know who.
It's not me.
I went to the embassy today.
Hmm. Constance told me.
Can I ask you a question?
In a minute.
I am going to have to say
something now!
Do be careful, darling.
Jesus said...
..no-one is good...
..except God.
Jesus Christ never met my monkey.
SHE SOBS
Now, what did you want to ask me?
I'm terribly sorry.
Would you mind consoling Katharine?
She did so love that awful creature.
Have you, um,
found our monkey murderer?
I'm leaning towards
death by misadventure.
Oh.
An accidental hanging?
The hanging was deliberate.
The poisoning wasn't.
Poisoning?
Followed by a panic.
Amateur criminals often
overcompensate.
Oh, so he's a novice.
That's good.
How do we catch him?
Softly-softly caught the monkey.
Do you hear that, Lucy?
Our pet killer's a greenhorn.
My mother had a saying -
never stab a man who's
chewing tobacco.
You'll have to excuse me.
I've a show to watch.
Cabin fever.
We're pack animals, I suppose.
Sir Constance told me
about your affair.
I thought he might.
He wants me
to tell you it will end badly.
He's right.
Love always does.
I told him you wouldn't listen.
Also true.
The pain will be unbearable.
It will diminish you.
I know.
It won't stop me.
SHRIEKING AND LAUGHING
I'm beginning to think the monkey
was the best of us.
Is everything all right?
Another day at the zoo.
Welcome to our dig!
Thank you.
Agatha! Agatha! Hello.
It seems I've come at the wrong
time for a tour.
It's perfect timing.
I need to do a stock check.
I'd rather not know
if anything else has been stolen.
If anything is missing,
at least you'll know who to blame.
Gosh.
Everything we find ends up here.
What's this?
Part of the Creation story.
Which part?
How the Tigris was formed.
It's not very interesting.
It sounds fascinating.
There's a plate here
that's 4,500 years old.
How was it formed?
A basic pinch technique.
The Tigris, not the plate.
One of the gods.
Which one?
Enki.
Enki?
But how did Enki form the Tigris?
You don't have to be shy.
I can take a bit of intimacy.
Max, just tell me!
He came.
He what? He ejaculated.
And said what?
He didn't say anything.
He didn't?
I suppose he might have
made a noise.
What sort of noise? I don't know.
I thought you were an expert.
Not in this. In what?
It the noises gods make
when they produce a river of semen.
SHE GIGGLES
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I am sorry.
I didn't realise you were
so sensitive.
I'm not sensitive.
I think you are.
You're...
Cold?
Manipulative?
Cruel?
Amazing.
Should I lock it?
Yes.
CLATTERING
Sumerian poetry.
SHE GASPS
Someone just tried to kill us.
What's been stolen now?
Someone tried to blow us up.
What are you talking about?
We've all been here since you left.
Why are you half dressed?
Have you been drinking?
What have you done with Agatha?
Oh...
Agatha?
Agatha?
A misfire.
Well, of course it as a misfire.
If it wasn't, we'd be dead.
Where did you get this from?
I didn't get it from anywhere.
Just tell me exactly what happened.
Agatha and I were in this room.
Doing what?
Looking at the artefacts.
Was the door open or closed?
It was locked. Locked?
Yes. Remember, you told me
to lock it at all times. Of course.
But if the door was locked,
how did someone throw dynamite in?
I... I think I let my imagination
get the better of me.
I got lost.
Are you all right?
Oh, dear.
Would someone tell me
what's going on?
Max was showing me his artefacts
and I noticed the dynamite
and I had the ridiculous notion
we were about to be blown to
smithereens.
Another dangerous lapse in protocol.
But not a murder attempt.
I must say, Agatha,
things are a lot more interesting
since your arrival. I'm very sorry.
Must have been
the excitement of the moment.
I need to repair this before it get
ground into the dirt.
She's right. Everyone out!
I'll help. It's the least I can do.
Would you leave it open?
Aren't we supposed to keep it
closed? I'm claustrophobic.
Of course. I forgot.
You care a lot for these relics.
More than most people.
Then why assist in their theft?
You were at lunch
when we were attacked.
There has to be someone else.
The woman my husband
was having an affair with
suffered from claustrophobia.
Put her in a lift
and she fell to pieces.
No!
No!
POUNDING ON DOOR
No!
How do you like our artefacts?
They're very impressive.
Romantic?
Perhaps you'll need to do
a bit more research.
SHE CHUCKLES
SHE GROANS
How could you do that?
SHE GROANS
Who are you helping?
Is it the person you're
having an affair with?
Despite your feelings for them,
they just tried to kill me.
That's absurd!
Why? Because they would never
do such a thing?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
It's horrible finding out the truth
about people we love.
I doubt you know the first thing
about it.
You'd be surprised.
I mean love.
I'm sure you're an expert
at betrayal.
You know, now that I've met you,
I understand why your husband
left for another woman.
You're a dried-up martinet.
And you're an accessory to murder.
Have you thought for a minute
what will happen to you?
My husband likes your books
because they're like him -
cold, sterile and manipulative.
Have you thought for a minute
what Max will do
when he finds out he's just
another piece on your chessboard?
KNOCKING ON DOOR
WHISPERS: I waited until
everyone went to bed.
We have a lot to talk about.
I don't understand what happened.
I'm working.
Have I done something?
It's been a long day.
What are you writing?
I want to spend time with you.
I want to be on my own. Why?
What happened?
I don't know. I do.
We found each other.
It was stupid. It wasn't.
It's fantasy.
It's real.
It's ridiculous.
KNOCK ON DOOR
KNOCKING GETS LOUDER
I'm... I'm sorry to disturb you.
Is something wrong?
Lucy didn't come home last night.
I was told you were the last person
to see her.
I was? In the artefact room?
Yes. I left after lunch.
Did you mention what
we talked about? Was she all right?
She seemed fine.
I haven't seen her since.
Oh. Well...
Thank you.
Oh! I'm afraid there was a mix-up
at the morgue.
Patrick's remains were cremated.
There's no way to check for poison.
Then who did you bury?
An Indian colonel.
CHUCKLES: Foul, this country.
Ah! Back to what you do best, I see.
Another thing that comes with age -
knowing when you're beaten.
SHE CLEARS THROAT
Do you mind if I ask you a question?
What is it?
Are you having an affair with Lucy?
Of all the stupid, preposterous
things that have been said to me
in this lodge, that takes
the biscuit.
I didn't think so.
Would you like to discuss funding?
One quick question before we begin.
Are you having an affair?
SCREAMING
DOG BARKS
Oh, my God!
DOG BARKS/WOMAN CRIES
If the monkey's here,
what's in the coffin?
Would you like to play?
Draughts was invented here.
If we had a time machine, and went
back 5,000 years,
we'd find two people doing
much the same thing.
I'd settle for 24 hours...
..to trap Lucy's killer.
It'll be some work to find
a replacement.
I'm not clear what she did.
She logged the finds,
gathered the paperwork,
and prepared everything for export.
Without her, the operation
will grind to a halt.
So, you'll stop excavating?
Heavens, no. It's far too important.
Nothing short of war could do that.
I've got some news.
We're shutting the dig.
You can't! You won't!
I'm sorry, but we all have
our limits.
We have our duty.
You have your duty, I have my money.
I need to protect it.
I'll go to the press. And say what?
You know.
Oh, you think anything that happens
in this backwater's newsworthy?
You won't to be able to set
foot in the museum.
Oh, I'll cry into my soup
about that.
I'm sorry it's come to this.
I've had a blast,
but let me be clear,
you will not set foot on that dig.
We'll go to Syria, darling.
There aren't any Americans there.
Mm.
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Sir Constance will see you now.
Please, do come in. Come in.
You haven't unpacked?
Yes, I'm moving again.
Lucy would have enjoyed my
improved circumstances.
I'm very sorry.
Her death must be a terrible shock.
Our relationship was more of a
transaction than a love affair.
That doesn't preclude feeling.
No. You're right.
I have some upsetting news. I wish
there was a way of avoiding it.
Go on.
Lucy was stealing from the dig.
I should ask for proof, but I
imagine I'd be wasting time.
You don't strike me as someone
who'd make a mistake like that.
I assume her death is connected?
It will need to be confirmed,
but I suspect, like Patrick,
she was poisoned...
..with strychnine.
Strychnine? That rings a bell.
It's readily available
as a pesticide,
but a poor choice as a
murder weapon.
It's unsubtle, easy to detect.
It's much better to use selenium,
or ricin, or arsenic.
But procuring these in Iraq must
be difficult.
No doubt you have oleander,
but someone thinking about using
rat poison likely wouldn't know
nerium from Olea europea.
You know a lot about poisons.
Know the poison, know the killer.
Have you told the police?
I wanted to avoid alerting
her co-conspirator.
Who is...?
Marmaduke...
..the man she was having an
affair with.
You found out.
Process of elimination.
As much as I'd like to see
Marmaduke disgraced,
the British Museum pays
handsomely for his artefacts.
Why rob Peter to pay Paul?
I assume the black market
pays better.
You assume? I need proof.
What do you need me to do?
Arrange a meeting with him at
the dig.
Is there something you
would like in return?
No, justice for Lucy is enough.
But if you're right about Marmaduke,
he's likely responsible for two
murders and one attempted murder.
What you're suggesting is dangerous.
Oh, I have no intention
of confronting him on my own.
And you'll keep my name out of it?
Scandal is as good as a death
in my profession. Of course.
You make sure to take
someone you trust.
I'm packing.
Would you like me to help?
I'm very good at packing.
Is there anything you
aren't good at?
Saying sorry.
I see.
Going somewhere?
You are a good detective.
You have a lot of books.
A regular dick.
I am sorry.
For what? For using you.
For what?
Sex? Of course not.
I understand. You used me for sex.
I would never...
Why not?
It's not what I want.
What do you want?
You.
Leonard asked me
to go to Syria with him.
What's in Syria?
This, minus the murder.
Hopefully.
I need your help.
You know who killed Lucy.
Yes.
Marmaduke.
How do you know?
I told you I could do this.
But how?
I followed the clues.
What clues?
I read between the lines.
What lines?
Really, it's not that difficult
when you put your mind to it.
Tell me.
It's not funny.
Tell me!
Oh, you guessed, you...
..bastard, you're as bad as
my readers.
I still need your help.
Do we have to?
No, you don't have to do anything.
But you'll do it anyway?
Always.
It's better you know that now.
I can't let you onto the site.
I know. We need your help.
With what?
Has Marmaduke arrived?
Yeah, a short while ago.
He's meeting Sir Constance?
Yes.
What does this have to do with you?
The meeting is with me.
Marmaduke is responsible
for the thefts.
It's true.
You have proof?
We're here to get it.
Well, you should inform the police.
We will. When we have proof.
Marmaduke?
It won't take long.
Please.
I don't believe you. But, please!
No.
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing here?
I'm waiting for Max.
The dig's shut.
Where is Ezekiel?
He's chasing Max.
What are you talking about?
He's trying to stop us.
From doing what?
From talking to you.
Now that I've given up on the dig,
I don't need to be civil to you.
I suppose not.
Then fuck off.
CLICKING NOISE
Last chance.
All right.
Did you know there's a test
to indicate
if a person has recently
handled strychnine?
Aargh...
AGATHA WHISTLES
What are you doing?
You'll see.
What's wrong with you people?
We told you. It's Marmaduke.
Oh, don't you think I know that?
Why didn't you say anything?
Because I'm trying to find out if...
MUFFLED VOICE
Is there someone else here?
MUFFLED VOICE: I don't understand...
No, no, no...
No, I said no!
Someone else is involved.
You don't have to see this.
It's my mess.
No.
It isn't.
Max?
It's Marmaduke.
How do you know?
GROANING
What happened? I heard an explosion.
What was it?
Marmaduke has been killed.
What are you doing here?
I can't remember.
One minute, I was in the lodge.
The next...
Where did you get this?
I... I've never seen it before.
Do you recognise this?
It's the tablet Patrick tried to
give me when he died.
What's it doing here?
Being prepared for sale.
An export licence.
I can't read the signature,
but it looks legitimate.
Where did you get this?
It must belong to my attacker.
Surely if you can remember
being attacked,
you can recall how you got here?
Pearl?
You're sure?
You saw it?
And I shouldn't want
to see it again.
It's true?
Yes, it's true.
The man has been blown to bits.
That's karma.
It's murder!
And you found the culprit.
Another case solved.
I always thought Pearl was
a suspicious name.
Louche, somehow.
Miss Theroux has been
locked in her room.
The Baghdad police are due
in the morning.
Pearl can't have done it.
Oh!
You always did have a soft spot
for her.
I can think of someone else
with a few soft spots.
Oh, very good, darling.
Do you think he'll come
back as a monkey?
SHE SIGHS
I've had an idea.
I need you to cover up the sound
of a gunshot.
What?
I had an idea rigor mortis was
so...rigorous.
Max...
On my mark.
Wait.
Mark.
DOOR BANGS
Erm...
FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
Sit on the bed, and put that away.
Did I hear a gunshot?
Certainly not!
I had an accident.
A romantic accident.
Oh.
How did you know Marmaduke
was stealing artefacts?
It's my job.
Why didn't you tell Leonard?
You think he's involved?
Of course.
That's ridiculous. You have proof?
I know where he hides them.
Where?
The British Museum.
I'm sorry we didn't tell you
what we were doing.
I get paid to hollow out my country.
Don't stop me making amends.
The bullet from my head.
They're the same.
Marmaduke shot me because I found
the stolen artefacts.
Lucy was his fence, and he killed
her when she threatened
to expose him.
However, he didn't share
the profits with his partners,
and when they found out
they blew him up.
What partners?
It's hard to say.
And Patrick Mulholland?
He found the stash before me.
Do your funders often do the
digging themselves?
Well, no, but he must have
discovered it another way.
Unless his murder had nothing
to do with the thefts.
And just a place to hide the body.
The tablet Pearl had, what is it?
It's a curse. A curse?
Don't get your hopes up.
It's Assyrian politics,
not Tutankhamun.
Where is it?
Ezekiel gave it to Leonard.
But it came from the other dig?
Everything leads back there.
I should go back.
Don't worry.
I'll be all right.
What will you do?
Find out what Pearl is hiding.
Erm, aren't you...
..forgetting something?
I thought you were locked up.
Ezekiel doesn't believe
I had anything to do with this.
He wasn't going to let me hang
for a crime I didn't commit.
Then why haven't you run away?
Because I don't want to hang for
a crime I didn't commit.
You're very rational for
a 24-year-old.
When I was your age all I thought
about was finding a husband.
Thankfully times have changed.
Well, perhaps if they hadn't
you wouldn't be in this mess.
Because marriage brings
an end to trouble?
When I was 16, my father told me
to avoid emotional attachment
until I was 25.
He said if I experienced love
during those years I'd always be
chasing those feelings.
My father never had much
time for advice.
He died when I was 11.
Did you listen to him?
I'm 25 in three months.
Imagine I found myself released from
my father's charge
and rotting in a Baghdad jail.
I don't want that.
I discovered Lucy was stealing
from the dig,
and I realised I couldn't
steal stolen goods.
I took them to learn, not sell.
It was the only way I could
continue my studies after Katharine
cut me out.
You found the secret tunnel.
I wasn't supposed to go to the dig.
It doesn't take long for a rat
to find the rat holes.
The army of Eannatum.
One of the world's first empires.
Every item has an export licence.
How is that possible?
I don't know.
Are they real?
Yes.
I thought by taking these treasures
they'd be saved from some
rich idiot's mantelpiece.
Instead I seem to have
precipitated murder.
Actually, I think quite
the opposite.
JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS
Oh, haven't you ever heard
of the healing power of laughter?
Does it have the capacity to
bring back the dead?
My apologies.
We were just blowing up
a bit of steam.
I was... Sorry!
But it's not every day two of
life's biggest problems
go up in smoke.
Two?
Marmaduke and the dig site.
The dig site?
We'll be excavating in a week.
How so?
It reverts.
Reverts to whom?
You?
With Marmaduke dead,
his lease belongs to
His Majesty's Government.
And they'll let you carry on
digging?
Well, I don't suppose they plan
on opening a consulate.
I think Leonard and I need
an early night.
All this laughing has
a curious effect on me.
Do you have the artefact
Pearl was trying to steal?
A trinket.
I heard it was a curse.
The Curse of Ishtar.
I'd love to hear more about it.
Unless it's outside your area
of expertise.
"My holy Ishtar...
"Your beauty, a sickly curse.
"Spout black blood from an earth
which is riven and pockmarked.
"And let sour milk flow
from man-made scales,
"which vie for balance but fail.
"Then decimate this unjust world."
I prefer the one where
she lies in honey
and plays 50 rounds of
over and under.
What is it about?
Betrayal.
Whose betrayal?
Dumuzid.
Think Brutus and Caesar.
You're alive!
Yes.
It's a construction site.
Everything's gone.
But what are they building?
I've no idea.
They look like...giant flamingos.
How can you bulldoze 5,000 years
of history?
Is any of this even connected?
The flamingos.
How did you know?
Can you get everyone to
the dig before the police come
to collect Pearl?
Yes.
And I won't even ask why.
I need to talk to Ezekiel.
What's she doing here?
What's he doing here?
Well...
This is a surprise.
Mrs Christie wants to talk to us.
It won't take long.
I thought you might like to
settle things privately.
Settle what?
For you, the ownership of this dig.
I explained that yesterday.
It's ours.
Actually, you said it was
the property of
His Majesty's Government.
As I said, ours.
I'll have to excuse myself.
These are not discussions
to have in public.
At least put this woman right
before you go.
Yes, you wouldn't want this woman
to pour oil on the fire.
Well, shall we?
Due to the circumstances surrounding
the closure of this dig,
it has been determined
by His Majesty's Government
that our interests are best
served by granting the land lease
to a third party.
A third party?
What are you talking about?
Whose interests?
Our country's.
Our country needs this dig.
The history of Mesopotamia is
the history of mankind.
If we don't own the world's culture,
how can we be its centre?
And, more importantly, what does
this sandbank mean to anyone else?
Progress.
Which, as Sir Constance reminded me,
is dependent on the actions
of unreasonable men.
Men prepared to do whatever's
necessary to achieve their goals.
Like murder.
I think you're confusing goals
with duty and sacrifice.
I think you're confusing duty
and sacrifice with self-interest.
And murder with something noble.
I always wondered how
a middle-ranking diplomat
got knighted.
Would you like to explain?
Well, I'd be delighted to
hear it myself.
Your dig belongs to
the Iraq Petroleum Company,
which in turn belongs
to the British Government.
In a short while, your excavations
will be replaced with
pumpjacks and pipelines.
Instead of artefacts,
oil will be coming from the ground.
I'm sorry you had to learn this way.
It's an unfortunate
geographical reality.
Rest assured, there's a generous
compensation scheme.
Which comes a little late
for Patrick Mulholland.
He was your friend.
He was an obstacle.
The Curse of Ishtar.
You betrayed him.
He was trying to tell me.
The export licences for
the stolen artefacts.
The same scrawled signature
as Marmaduke's now defunct lease.
Yours, presumably.
Before a more lucrative revenue
stream presented itself,
you engaged Marmaduke
to filter artefacts
and supply a steady stream
to the black market.
You channelled the official
paperwork through Lucy,
who repaid your trust by starting
up an affair with your untamed peer.
You murdered your wife?
No, that was Marmaduke.
Lucy could implicate him.
And so he killed her.
With the same poison procured
for Patrick Mulholland.
This wasn't part of
Sir Constance's plan.
It did leave you with
a mess to clear up.
If blowing someone up in
a confined space counts as such.
You killed Ella.
No, the monkey found the poison
in Marmaduke's room.
I assume you have the
strychnine on your person.
One doesn't throw away
usable ammunition,
especially when expecting to meet
an adversary alone.
Take a moment to consider
your best interests.
Reinstating your dig is
within my power.
I believe your eyes have
turned to Syria -
that's Viscount Torrance, isn't it?
We're old friends.
The decisions I make are for
a future you can't comprehend.
It is my duty to ensure that
in 100 years our great country
is still great.
Which is a laudable ambition
for an opportunistic petty thief.
I need to search you.
The museum will soon be in need of
a new principle.
Sir Frederick can't go on forever.
My ambition begins and ends with
the history you're happy to sell to
the highest bidder.
Very well.
There's no need for anything
undignified.
I warned you....
..that scandal was as good as death
in my profession.
Do you have any idea
what you've just done?
My duty.
You have about 15 minutes before
the effects start to manifest.
I would advise leaving.
It won't be something easily
forgotten.
Assuming that's poison
and not water,
I'll stay.
No man should die alone.
Everyone dies alone.
I'm not sure that's true.
Everyone dies with their conscience.
Do you like golf?
I hate it.
Why did you come here?
To research romance.
Did it work?
Yes.
What did you learn?
That it's outside my control.
So I'm not an artefact...
..that can be dug up and studied?
Well, in a few thousand years.
What would they find?
That you had a thick head.
Is that all?
A well proportioned brain.
Stupid but pretty.
Just what I was aiming for.
That's the problem with archaeology.
It doesn't tell the whole story.
I'm sorry that Mr Hutchins is
no longer with you.
The partners thought it
best that he retire.
His tastes were...
..old-fashioned.
He didn't like change.
So I heard.
I would ask for comments
on my passion project,
but perhaps we can avoid that dance.
We can.
As promised, the fat,
little detective returns.
That's wonderful.
In addition to this, of course.
Your romance is...
It isn't romance.
It isn't?
It's a story about emotion, which,
unlike romance, exists.
I understand.
You'll publish it under
the name of Mary Westmacott.
Oh, a nom de plume.
Very clever.
Keep the storytelling separate.
Keep the talk of romance
from damaging our bottom line.
After all, how can a woman who
writes about an asexual
reasoning machine address
matters of the heart?
People would be terrified I might
combine the two.
And I'm not sure that anyone
would believe that murder
and love could exist side-by-side.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
RUBBLE TUMBLES
HE LAUGHS
MAN'S VOICE: Max...
Max...
Patrick?
HE STRUGGLES TO SPEAK
Ishtar.
LAUGHTER
Well, did you call for the police?
Of course not. A little thing like
that wasn't going to scare me.
You ran away?
Well then, what did you do?
Do you really want to know?
Of course.
I said, "Put that away or I'll chop
it off,
"feed it to the pigeons, and watch
you bleed to death in the gutter."
Hm.
I'm thinking of moving
into refrigerators.
Men have no sense of humour.
I have no sense of humour.
Nonsense. Your books are very funny.
You're too kind.
That's not something I'm often
accused of.
You're an archaeologist?
My husband is an archaeologist.
I'm an illustrator...
..and a provocateur. Who do
you provoke?
Men.
Perhaps you could give me
some advice.
Well, that depends what you're
looking for.
Another husband?
Sex?
Romance.
Isn't that just a prelude to sex?
It's...longing and passion,
desire and fulfilment.
Sounds like sex to me. I'm trying to
write about it.
I like your books as they are.
I don't want to be remembered as the
woman who wrote
100 detective novels. I'm moving on.
To romance? It seems I have a lot
to learn.
I...don't know the first thing
about it, but I am sure I can help.
Leonard! Yes, dear?
Would you say Iraq is romantic?
Romantic?
My God, it is the very essence
of romance.
Think of Nammu and Enlil.
Think of Inanna and Dumuzi.
Think of the sparkling waters
of the Tigris.
That's what I was telling Agatha.
She wants to visit us to do some
research into romance.
Oh... Excellent idea.
Come to our death pit.
That is a very kind offer,
but I don't think one can
research romance.
As you like.
I'm sure you'll find your
feet eventually.
And if you don't...
..you know where to find us.
STRANGE SQUEAL
STRANGE SQUEAL
DISTAND LAUGHTER/MAN CLEARS THROAT
You naughty little archaeologist.
I am dirty. You're my favourite
little artefact.
Inspect me. Give me an inspection.
Let me dust your little dirty pot.
Ooh!
THEY LAUGH
HE BARKS
THEY LAUGH
A little surprise...
THUD/THEY GROAN
Oh, darling, yes.
Yes! Oh-ho-ho! Ohh!
SHE SIGHS
You hate it.
Of course not. You like it?
I...
It's about romance.
I see. And passion.
It's not finished.
I should take it elsewhere.
Oh, no! It's...
..a bold change of direction.
Very...
..unexpected.
So, you'll publish it?
How are things going
with our next detective novel?
That depends. It does? On what?
On whether you'll publish that.
Well, as you say, it's
not finished.
But you'll publish it when it is.
When do you expect that to be?
I don't know. Does it matter?
Well, it needs to be soon.
It mustn't interfere with...
..with the plans for our
Belgian friend. Mm.
Heaven forbid.
When would you want it?
THEY WHISPER
Two months. Two months?!
I should say that's more than enough
time for a passion project.
After all, one can't
research romance. Mm?
THEY LAUGH/SNORT
SEAGULLS CAW/SEA SWELLS
Excuse me?
Have we arrived?
To Ur.
The dig.
SHE MIMES CHOKING
The Death Pits.
Yes, yes.
The Death Pits.
Hello?
Hello? Mr Woolley?
It's Agatha Christie.
We met at
General Seagrave's house...?
I wired Katharine.
She's expecting me.
Oh, hello.
Are you all right?
I was just looking for something.
You're bleeding. You need
a doctor. I...
I'd take you, but I have no
idea where we are.
What happened?
Someone shot me.
Ah!
Ah! Oh!
You need medical assistance?
The person in need of help is
outside in a car?
Karim!
I understand.
The bullet is small.
Hasn't penetrated the bone.
He may have a minor fracture.
He has a thick head.
Would you like me to take
a look at that?
Oh, it's nothing.
Mm.
Is there anything further
I can do for him?
Call me if he doesn't wake up.
If I may suggest,
should there be a next time,
perhaps try a larger gun.
Goodnight, madame.
CALL TO PRAYER SOUNDS
Can you hear me?
Do I know you? No, we've never met.
I'm sure we have.
Well, sometimes people
think they've met me.
It's an unfortunate consequence
of being a bit famous.
Oh. You're famous? That explains it.
Let me guess. You're the wife
of a well-known politician?
No. I'm not famous by marriage.
Then you're a well-known
home economist? Like Mrs Beeton.
No, I'm not famous for my
practical housekeeping.
I've got it. You're an actress.
THEY LAUGH
Retired, of course.
My name is Agatha Christie.
I'm a writer.
No. Sorry, never heard of you.
You found me. Last night, you...
You saved me.
I offered what assistance I could.
You'll need to settle your bill
and take your souvenir.
Oh, my leg.
It feels like I've been run over.
Really? Perhaps you fell.
I wonder, would you mind driving me
back to my lodge?
I won't be able to work the clutch.
You do realise someone
tried to kill you?
My advice is that you
go to the police.
You obviously don't know Iraq.
I'm not the one in bed with
a bullet wound.
I'm investigating
the murder of my friend.
No doubt another matter you
kept from the police.
Of course not.
I found him in a sealed tomb
surrounded by stolen artefacts.
The police said
he was bitten by a snake.
When I went back to investigate,
someone shot me.
The person who killed your friend.
It all adds up,
when you think about it.
Unless you're confusing deduction
with speculation.
Really? And you're an expert
in these sorts of things?
I, erm... It's been a difficult
few days.
If you could just help me
get back home.
Well, I'm afraid last
night's adventures
have severely delayed me.
My hosts are probably calling
the embassy.
Where are you going? Perhaps we
could go together.
I'm due at Ur, as the guest of
Mr and Mrs Leonard Woolley.
Kate and Leo! What a
perfect coincidence.
I'm one of Leonard's archaeologists.
If you know the Woolleys you must
have heard of me. I...
I live with them. I'm almost family!
I'm Max. Max Mallowan.
Oh, you're Max!
Max Mallowan!
They never mentioned you.
Were you expecting the police?
No.
Just stop here.
This is murder!
Plain and simple.
You should be hunting
down the monster who did this!
Oh, Agatha!
Oh, thank God you're here.
Something terrible has happened.
This is Agatha Christie.
The world's greatest detective.
Now that she's here,
heaven help the person who
killed Ella.
You can bugger off now.
Agatha?
How shall we begin
our investigation?
KNOCK ON DOOR
I'm sorry about yesterday.
I behaved appallingly.
I didn't even say thank you.
You're not staying?
Coming here was a mistake.
Why did you come?
For the archaeology.
How well do you know the Woolleys?
I met them once.
My decision to come was
a little impulsive.
It's not what I expected.
It can be something of a madhouse.
Would you like to visit another dig?
I have a friend
excavating near Kirkuk.
It's much more...normal.
What will you do?
Nothing.
I'm used to it.
Used to people trying to kill you?
I can handle that.
What if they try again?
They won't.
How do you know? I'll do some
detective work of my own.
Find them first.
Detective work?
Like the continental hop?
Like archaeology.
Follow the clues.
Isn't that what got you
shot in the first place?
I'll be more careful.
How do you think the monkey died?
It spent most of its time
biting people
and stealing things from our rooms.
I suppose someone finally cracked.
I'm sure, but...how, not why.
They strung her up.
We all saw that.
Have you ever tried to hang
a monkey?
Well, um...
I suppose it would be quite
difficult.
You'd have to catch it
then tie a noose round its neck
then...
..stop it from doing what a monkey
does best then climbing away.
Also, the realities of hanging
are quite grim.
The body...
..purges.
Why would anyone fabricate
a monkey's death?
What are you doing here?
Stopping you from getting yourself
killed, I should think.
Well, in that case,
you'll have to stay.
You wouldn't
want my death on your hands.
If I'm going to help,
I need to send a telegram.
Maybe I could...
LAUGHING AND SLAPPING
I've met them before.
SLAPPING
WOMAN: Oh, I like that.
Do that again!
Their morning constitutional's
usually...quite short.
WOMAN GASPS
Telegram?
I'll send it right away.
And then I'll make a proper
introduction to our residents.
Or should I say suspects?
Who's Conan Doyle?
You're not very well read, are you?
Too busy translating
Sumerian poetry.
Where's our benefactor?
Avoiding me, no doubt.
Have you met the lodge's
resident aristocrat?
Not yet.
Years of inbreeding have left him
mostly harmless.
But somehow still
capable of paying for your lunch.
Is he with Constance?
Sorry! God! I keep forgetting.
SIR Constance! Perhaps your husband
and the good lord
are finding common ground
across the generational divide.
Do the pictures of the men with
pointy hats
go above or below the river?
The men with pointy hats
are archers.
If you turn them in the
direction of fire...
No. Not seeing it.
Looks like a Ku Klux Klan
convention to me.
Mrs Christie.
It's a real pleasure.
I don't read books, but if I did,
yours would be the books I'd be
reading.
Delighted to meet you,
Lord Ponsonby.
They tracked me
down and gave me a title,
but I'm about as much of an earl as
Leonard is the king of California.
Call me Marmaduke, please.
Now...
..after the events of yesterday,
you must have a very poor opinion
of the operation that I run here.
Not at all. I'm sure it's great
shock to everyone.
Especially the monkey.
I've been telling Katharine to
get rid of that pest
ever since the day it arrived.
It's been nothing but trouble.
Still,
events have to be taken seriously.
No, you're right.
And what with...Patrick's death
and Max's adventures...
How are you doing?
Grateful to Mrs Christie for her
impeccable typing.
You should be grateful to the
person who shot you
with a girl's gun.
Being stupid is not heroic,
despite what you English think.
And whilst we're on the subject
of lucky escapes,
I want to make a formal complaint
about the total disregard of agreed
blasting protocol.
I nearly lost an eye yesterday,
thanks to Miss Barnard's
incompetence.
Sorry.
I mean claustrophobia.
Shame it wasn't
the one on the back of your head,
although after the recent
flood of artefact theft,
maybe that one's already gone blind.
Well, unless, of course, its sole
purpose is other people's business.
My only interests are other
people's property.
You're not the only one.
If you hadn't been creeping around,
you wouldn't have got hurt.
These are all important matters.
We must improve the security
and safety of our dig.
This is no laughing matter.
What does monkey taste like?
Bitter almonds, I hope!
Mrs Christie, telegram for you.
Oh. Assuming we're not eating
the evidence...
..I think I might be able to help.
Did you enjoy meeting Marmaduke?
Well, he's...
..certainly a character.
Are you all right?
Oh, it's just a graze.
I told you it was the wrong site.
You shouldn't have been there.
The only way to know is to dig.
I'm glad you're OK.
Hello. I'm Agatha.
Pearl Theroux.
I'll get those things.
What's your role here?
That depends.
On what?
On whether my role is what
I was employed to do
or what I find myself doing.
I was employed as a companion
to Katharine
and told I would assist
illustrating the finds.
When I got here,
I found Katharine already had
a companion
and my duties are better
described as dogsbody.
I haven't met Katharine's companion.
She's about 2ft tall and dead.
The monkey.
Perhaps now I'll get a promotion,
although if Katharine preferred
the company of a screeching
kleptomaniac to a young woman,
I'm not sure.
Well,
you're an attractive young woman.
Youth can be threatening.
It can be bloody annoying.
I've a doctorate in medicine
during the reign of Hammurabi.
Max is the same age as me
and he's worked two digs.
I imagine that must be very
difficult.
It's unfair.
And the funders are all men.
Rich, independent women able to
further the cause of emancipation
by helping to understand the origins
of civilisation are hard to come by.
Indeed.
I'd better be getting back
to my duties.
God help us if we run out of gin.
In 563 BC, Amel-Marduk allowed his
kingdom to descend into chaos.
I warned Max this meant
Nebuchadnezzar's burial records
were likely a fabrication.
He didn't listen.
Men struggle to take
advice from women.
It's threatening?
It's also hard to listen when you're
staring at someone's tits.
MUSIC PLAYS
SCRAPING
Everything OK?
Are they the new instructions?
Some new clue?
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
I borrowed one of your books
from Katharine.
The detective was forever holding
back information
that would help solve the crime.
Is that what you're doing?
Are you and Pearl involved?
No.
Whatever gave you that idea?
She's young.
The Acadians believed that
youth was a curse.
I tend to agree.
Why the ridiculous question?
I'm not sure.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
We need its liver.
I see.
Where's that?
How should I know?
What does it say?
Remove the liver.
I know where my kidneys are.
I think.
What does it look like?
Like the sort you eat, I imagine.
Thin and fleshy and mahogany colour.
Or is that kidneys?
I'm an archaeologist.
You'd better start digging.
Have you got it?
I think so.
HE GASPS
Oh... Wait a minute.
SPLAT!
Oh! No...
Oh... I don't know what that is. No.
But I've never eaten it.
I'll be right as rain in a minute.
Hmm.
Who'd have thought...?
Got it.
Dilute sulphuric acid...
..at a ratio of 1 to 5.
Add potassium dichromate.
How much?
I wish you'd tell me
what we're looking for.
It's like you hold back information
for maximum dramatic effect.
Liver, please.
How long does it take?
Nothing's happening.
Strychnine.
Poison!
The monkey was poisoned.
Why would you poison a monkey?
Why indeed?
And then hang it?
The monkey saw something.
Or perhaps it was an accident.
The monkey found the poison
and drank it,
poison that was
meant for somebody else.
Patrick! I was right. It wasn't
a snake bite.
The black desert cobra does
produce a neurotoxin,
but the muscle spasms you
describe in Mr Mulholland
are indicative of strychnine.
The killer of your funder is
living in this lodge!
Ah...
Of course,
we-we will need to confirm it.
Pfft.
Where was Mr Mulholland buried?
I imagine a similar test
will suffice.
I have an appointment with
Sir Constance.
Yes, Mrs Christie. Take a seat.
Mrs Christie.
I hoped we'd meet at the lodge.
Thank you for seeing me.
I must say, I'm a great admirer.
When my wife died,
your books kept me from...
Well, I don't know what.
Then we have something in common.
I had no idea Iraq was such
a hotbed of innovation.
Imagine what it'll
be like in 100 years.
Progress gives me a headache.
But then I'm a reasonable man.
I went surfing with Bernard Shaw.
He couldn't stand up.
Please, do come through.
Ah!
I've only just moved in.
A recent change of duties.
A promotion?
Yes. At my age, unexpected.
HE CHUCKLES
Now, why have you come to see me?
Lucy told me what happened to Ella.
You're not really looking into this
monkey business?
My writing requires constant
inspiration.
When an opportunity presents itself,
I find it hard to resist.
Fire away, but cards on the table -
I hated that monkey,
even though it proposed no direct
threat to His Majesty's Government.
Patrick Mulholland.
From what I hear,
he was a very decent man.
We grew up together.
He was a great friend.
To me and the British Museum.
He was also the brains in the
partnership with Lord Ponsonby.
He had great
plans for their two digs.
If you don't mind me asking,
what does his death have
to do with you?
I'm helping Mr Mallowan.
It seems his recent
encounter with a bullet
is related.
Surely this is
a matter for the police?
Yes, but from what I hear, they
don't seem to be doing anything.
I imagine it's a complicated affair.
Lots of moving parts.
Then you are confident that
Max's would-be killer
will be brought to justice?
HE SIGHS
Not really.
My advice to Mr Mallowan is to stay
away from whatever hornet's nest
he disturbed.
I said the same thing,
but he's very young.
There isn't a thing from my youth
I still hold dear.
If only the young understood that.
I think Mr Mulholland was poisoned.
Yes, by a snake.
More likely a woman.
Or a man.
I see! And you
want my assistance to find out?
Very well.
But if I help you, I would ask you
do something for me.
Of course.
Whatever I can.
Your husband, Archie...
We divorced.
It's a matter of public record.
He had an affair.
She was much younger than he.
24.
What is this about? I'm very sorry.
I'll get to the point.
My wife Lucy is 20 years
younger than me.
She's having an affair with a person
considerably younger than her.
Betrayal is a horrible thing.
I'm reconciled to it.
The problem is not the affair,
but the person she's having it with.
You expect her to be hurt...
..and you'd like that avoided?
With your experience, I thought
you might be able to advise her.
She'll listen to you.
I can't be expected to succeed.
Your best efforts will suffice.
And you'll look into what
killed Mr Mulholland?
Is this diplomacy?
As much as I enjoy your books,
I must say,
your talents are wasted.
Shoo.
Oh! Hello!
Are you digging your own grave?
Sorry!
I'm not dressed for company.
Indeed.
Did Sir Constance help you?
Yes.
What are you doing?
The monkey.
I promised Katharine we'd bury it.
Seems a little big.
She has a coffin.
How old are you?
25.
Almost.
Same age as Pearl.
She's 24.
Marmaduke? 27.
Ezekiel? 29.
Why the sudden interest?
Are there any other young people who
spend time at the lodge?
I'm not going to tell you.
Why not?
Because you don't tell me anything.
Lucy's having an affair with
someone younger than her,
and I need to know who.
It's not me.
I went to the embassy today.
Hmm. Constance told me.
Can I ask you a question?
In a minute.
I am going to have to say
something now!
Do be careful, darling.
Jesus said...
..no-one is good...
..except God.
Jesus Christ never met my monkey.
SHE SOBS
Now, what did you want to ask me?
I'm terribly sorry.
Would you mind consoling Katharine?
She did so love that awful creature.
Have you, um,
found our monkey murderer?
I'm leaning towards
death by misadventure.
Oh.
An accidental hanging?
The hanging was deliberate.
The poisoning wasn't.
Poisoning?
Followed by a panic.
Amateur criminals often
overcompensate.
Oh, so he's a novice.
That's good.
How do we catch him?
Softly-softly caught the monkey.
Do you hear that, Lucy?
Our pet killer's a greenhorn.
My mother had a saying -
never stab a man who's
chewing tobacco.
You'll have to excuse me.
I've a show to watch.
Cabin fever.
We're pack animals, I suppose.
Sir Constance told me
about your affair.
I thought he might.
He wants me
to tell you it will end badly.
He's right.
Love always does.
I told him you wouldn't listen.
Also true.
The pain will be unbearable.
It will diminish you.
I know.
It won't stop me.
SHRIEKING AND LAUGHING
I'm beginning to think the monkey
was the best of us.
Is everything all right?
Another day at the zoo.
Welcome to our dig!
Thank you.
Agatha! Agatha! Hello.
It seems I've come at the wrong
time for a tour.
It's perfect timing.
I need to do a stock check.
I'd rather not know
if anything else has been stolen.
If anything is missing,
at least you'll know who to blame.
Gosh.
Everything we find ends up here.
What's this?
Part of the Creation story.
Which part?
How the Tigris was formed.
It's not very interesting.
It sounds fascinating.
There's a plate here
that's 4,500 years old.
How was it formed?
A basic pinch technique.
The Tigris, not the plate.
One of the gods.
Which one?
Enki.
Enki?
But how did Enki form the Tigris?
You don't have to be shy.
I can take a bit of intimacy.
Max, just tell me!
He came.
He what? He ejaculated.
And said what?
He didn't say anything.
He didn't?
I suppose he might have
made a noise.
What sort of noise? I don't know.
I thought you were an expert.
Not in this. In what?
It the noises gods make
when they produce a river of semen.
SHE GIGGLES
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I am sorry.
I didn't realise you were
so sensitive.
I'm not sensitive.
I think you are.
You're...
Cold?
Manipulative?
Cruel?
Amazing.
Should I lock it?
Yes.
CLATTERING
Sumerian poetry.
SHE GASPS
Someone just tried to kill us.
What's been stolen now?
Someone tried to blow us up.
What are you talking about?
We've all been here since you left.
Why are you half dressed?
Have you been drinking?
What have you done with Agatha?
Oh...
Agatha?
Agatha?
A misfire.
Well, of course it as a misfire.
If it wasn't, we'd be dead.
Where did you get this from?
I didn't get it from anywhere.
Just tell me exactly what happened.
Agatha and I were in this room.
Doing what?
Looking at the artefacts.
Was the door open or closed?
It was locked. Locked?
Yes. Remember, you told me
to lock it at all times. Of course.
But if the door was locked,
how did someone throw dynamite in?
I... I think I let my imagination
get the better of me.
I got lost.
Are you all right?
Oh, dear.
Would someone tell me
what's going on?
Max was showing me his artefacts
and I noticed the dynamite
and I had the ridiculous notion
we were about to be blown to
smithereens.
Another dangerous lapse in protocol.
But not a murder attempt.
I must say, Agatha,
things are a lot more interesting
since your arrival. I'm very sorry.
Must have been
the excitement of the moment.
I need to repair this before it get
ground into the dirt.
She's right. Everyone out!
I'll help. It's the least I can do.
Would you leave it open?
Aren't we supposed to keep it
closed? I'm claustrophobic.
Of course. I forgot.
You care a lot for these relics.
More than most people.
Then why assist in their theft?
You were at lunch
when we were attacked.
There has to be someone else.
The woman my husband
was having an affair with
suffered from claustrophobia.
Put her in a lift
and she fell to pieces.
No!
No!
POUNDING ON DOOR
No!
How do you like our artefacts?
They're very impressive.
Romantic?
Perhaps you'll need to do
a bit more research.
SHE CHUCKLES
SHE GROANS
How could you do that?
SHE GROANS
Who are you helping?
Is it the person you're
having an affair with?
Despite your feelings for them,
they just tried to kill me.
That's absurd!
Why? Because they would never
do such a thing?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
It's horrible finding out the truth
about people we love.
I doubt you know the first thing
about it.
You'd be surprised.
I mean love.
I'm sure you're an expert
at betrayal.
You know, now that I've met you,
I understand why your husband
left for another woman.
You're a dried-up martinet.
And you're an accessory to murder.
Have you thought for a minute
what will happen to you?
My husband likes your books
because they're like him -
cold, sterile and manipulative.
Have you thought for a minute
what Max will do
when he finds out he's just
another piece on your chessboard?
KNOCKING ON DOOR
WHISPERS: I waited until
everyone went to bed.
We have a lot to talk about.
I don't understand what happened.
I'm working.
Have I done something?
It's been a long day.
What are you writing?
I want to spend time with you.
I want to be on my own. Why?
What happened?
I don't know. I do.
We found each other.
It was stupid. It wasn't.
It's fantasy.
It's real.
It's ridiculous.
KNOCK ON DOOR
KNOCKING GETS LOUDER
I'm... I'm sorry to disturb you.
Is something wrong?
Lucy didn't come home last night.
I was told you were the last person
to see her.
I was? In the artefact room?
Yes. I left after lunch.
Did you mention what
we talked about? Was she all right?
She seemed fine.
I haven't seen her since.
Oh. Well...
Thank you.
Oh! I'm afraid there was a mix-up
at the morgue.
Patrick's remains were cremated.
There's no way to check for poison.
Then who did you bury?
An Indian colonel.
CHUCKLES: Foul, this country.
Ah! Back to what you do best, I see.
Another thing that comes with age -
knowing when you're beaten.
SHE CLEARS THROAT
Do you mind if I ask you a question?
What is it?
Are you having an affair with Lucy?
Of all the stupid, preposterous
things that have been said to me
in this lodge, that takes
the biscuit.
I didn't think so.
Would you like to discuss funding?
One quick question before we begin.
Are you having an affair?
SCREAMING
DOG BARKS
Oh, my God!
DOG BARKS/WOMAN CRIES
If the monkey's here,
what's in the coffin?
Would you like to play?
Draughts was invented here.
If we had a time machine, and went
back 5,000 years,
we'd find two people doing
much the same thing.
I'd settle for 24 hours...
..to trap Lucy's killer.
It'll be some work to find
a replacement.
I'm not clear what she did.
She logged the finds,
gathered the paperwork,
and prepared everything for export.
Without her, the operation
will grind to a halt.
So, you'll stop excavating?
Heavens, no. It's far too important.
Nothing short of war could do that.
I've got some news.
We're shutting the dig.
You can't! You won't!
I'm sorry, but we all have
our limits.
We have our duty.
You have your duty, I have my money.
I need to protect it.
I'll go to the press. And say what?
You know.
Oh, you think anything that happens
in this backwater's newsworthy?
You won't to be able to set
foot in the museum.
Oh, I'll cry into my soup
about that.
I'm sorry it's come to this.
I've had a blast,
but let me be clear,
you will not set foot on that dig.
We'll go to Syria, darling.
There aren't any Americans there.
Mm.
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Sir Constance will see you now.
Please, do come in. Come in.
You haven't unpacked?
Yes, I'm moving again.
Lucy would have enjoyed my
improved circumstances.
I'm very sorry.
Her death must be a terrible shock.
Our relationship was more of a
transaction than a love affair.
That doesn't preclude feeling.
No. You're right.
I have some upsetting news. I wish
there was a way of avoiding it.
Go on.
Lucy was stealing from the dig.
I should ask for proof, but I
imagine I'd be wasting time.
You don't strike me as someone
who'd make a mistake like that.
I assume her death is connected?
It will need to be confirmed,
but I suspect, like Patrick,
she was poisoned...
..with strychnine.
Strychnine? That rings a bell.
It's readily available
as a pesticide,
but a poor choice as a
murder weapon.
It's unsubtle, easy to detect.
It's much better to use selenium,
or ricin, or arsenic.
But procuring these in Iraq must
be difficult.
No doubt you have oleander,
but someone thinking about using
rat poison likely wouldn't know
nerium from Olea europea.
You know a lot about poisons.
Know the poison, know the killer.
Have you told the police?
I wanted to avoid alerting
her co-conspirator.
Who is...?
Marmaduke...
..the man she was having an
affair with.
You found out.
Process of elimination.
As much as I'd like to see
Marmaduke disgraced,
the British Museum pays
handsomely for his artefacts.
Why rob Peter to pay Paul?
I assume the black market
pays better.
You assume? I need proof.
What do you need me to do?
Arrange a meeting with him at
the dig.
Is there something you
would like in return?
No, justice for Lucy is enough.
But if you're right about Marmaduke,
he's likely responsible for two
murders and one attempted murder.
What you're suggesting is dangerous.
Oh, I have no intention
of confronting him on my own.
And you'll keep my name out of it?
Scandal is as good as a death
in my profession. Of course.
You make sure to take
someone you trust.
I'm packing.
Would you like me to help?
I'm very good at packing.
Is there anything you
aren't good at?
Saying sorry.
I see.
Going somewhere?
You are a good detective.
You have a lot of books.
A regular dick.
I am sorry.
For what? For using you.
For what?
Sex? Of course not.
I understand. You used me for sex.
I would never...
Why not?
It's not what I want.
What do you want?
You.
Leonard asked me
to go to Syria with him.
What's in Syria?
This, minus the murder.
Hopefully.
I need your help.
You know who killed Lucy.
Yes.
Marmaduke.
How do you know?
I told you I could do this.
But how?
I followed the clues.
What clues?
I read between the lines.
What lines?
Really, it's not that difficult
when you put your mind to it.
Tell me.
It's not funny.
Tell me!
Oh, you guessed, you...
..bastard, you're as bad as
my readers.
I still need your help.
Do we have to?
No, you don't have to do anything.
But you'll do it anyway?
Always.
It's better you know that now.
I can't let you onto the site.
I know. We need your help.
With what?
Has Marmaduke arrived?
Yeah, a short while ago.
He's meeting Sir Constance?
Yes.
What does this have to do with you?
The meeting is with me.
Marmaduke is responsible
for the thefts.
It's true.
You have proof?
We're here to get it.
Well, you should inform the police.
We will. When we have proof.
Marmaduke?
It won't take long.
Please.
I don't believe you. But, please!
No.
Hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing here?
I'm waiting for Max.
The dig's shut.
Where is Ezekiel?
He's chasing Max.
What are you talking about?
He's trying to stop us.
From doing what?
From talking to you.
Now that I've given up on the dig,
I don't need to be civil to you.
I suppose not.
Then fuck off.
CLICKING NOISE
Last chance.
All right.
Did you know there's a test
to indicate
if a person has recently
handled strychnine?
Aargh...
AGATHA WHISTLES
What are you doing?
You'll see.
What's wrong with you people?
We told you. It's Marmaduke.
Oh, don't you think I know that?
Why didn't you say anything?
Because I'm trying to find out if...
MUFFLED VOICE
Is there someone else here?
MUFFLED VOICE: I don't understand...
No, no, no...
No, I said no!
Someone else is involved.
You don't have to see this.
It's my mess.
No.
It isn't.
Max?
It's Marmaduke.
How do you know?
GROANING
What happened? I heard an explosion.
What was it?
Marmaduke has been killed.
What are you doing here?
I can't remember.
One minute, I was in the lodge.
The next...
Where did you get this?
I... I've never seen it before.
Do you recognise this?
It's the tablet Patrick tried to
give me when he died.
What's it doing here?
Being prepared for sale.
An export licence.
I can't read the signature,
but it looks legitimate.
Where did you get this?
It must belong to my attacker.
Surely if you can remember
being attacked,
you can recall how you got here?
Pearl?
You're sure?
You saw it?
And I shouldn't want
to see it again.
It's true?
Yes, it's true.
The man has been blown to bits.
That's karma.
It's murder!
And you found the culprit.
Another case solved.
I always thought Pearl was
a suspicious name.
Louche, somehow.
Miss Theroux has been
locked in her room.
The Baghdad police are due
in the morning.
Pearl can't have done it.
Oh!
You always did have a soft spot
for her.
I can think of someone else
with a few soft spots.
Oh, very good, darling.
Do you think he'll come
back as a monkey?
SHE SIGHS
I've had an idea.
I need you to cover up the sound
of a gunshot.
What?
I had an idea rigor mortis was
so...rigorous.
Max...
On my mark.
Wait.
Mark.
DOOR BANGS
Erm...
FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
Sit on the bed, and put that away.
Did I hear a gunshot?
Certainly not!
I had an accident.
A romantic accident.
Oh.
How did you know Marmaduke
was stealing artefacts?
It's my job.
Why didn't you tell Leonard?
You think he's involved?
Of course.
That's ridiculous. You have proof?
I know where he hides them.
Where?
The British Museum.
I'm sorry we didn't tell you
what we were doing.
I get paid to hollow out my country.
Don't stop me making amends.
The bullet from my head.
They're the same.
Marmaduke shot me because I found
the stolen artefacts.
Lucy was his fence, and he killed
her when she threatened
to expose him.
However, he didn't share
the profits with his partners,
and when they found out
they blew him up.
What partners?
It's hard to say.
And Patrick Mulholland?
He found the stash before me.
Do your funders often do the
digging themselves?
Well, no, but he must have
discovered it another way.
Unless his murder had nothing
to do with the thefts.
And just a place to hide the body.
The tablet Pearl had, what is it?
It's a curse. A curse?
Don't get your hopes up.
It's Assyrian politics,
not Tutankhamun.
Where is it?
Ezekiel gave it to Leonard.
But it came from the other dig?
Everything leads back there.
I should go back.
Don't worry.
I'll be all right.
What will you do?
Find out what Pearl is hiding.
Erm, aren't you...
..forgetting something?
I thought you were locked up.
Ezekiel doesn't believe
I had anything to do with this.
He wasn't going to let me hang
for a crime I didn't commit.
Then why haven't you run away?
Because I don't want to hang for
a crime I didn't commit.
You're very rational for
a 24-year-old.
When I was your age all I thought
about was finding a husband.
Thankfully times have changed.
Well, perhaps if they hadn't
you wouldn't be in this mess.
Because marriage brings
an end to trouble?
When I was 16, my father told me
to avoid emotional attachment
until I was 25.
He said if I experienced love
during those years I'd always be
chasing those feelings.
My father never had much
time for advice.
He died when I was 11.
Did you listen to him?
I'm 25 in three months.
Imagine I found myself released from
my father's charge
and rotting in a Baghdad jail.
I don't want that.
I discovered Lucy was stealing
from the dig,
and I realised I couldn't
steal stolen goods.
I took them to learn, not sell.
It was the only way I could
continue my studies after Katharine
cut me out.
You found the secret tunnel.
I wasn't supposed to go to the dig.
It doesn't take long for a rat
to find the rat holes.
The army of Eannatum.
One of the world's first empires.
Every item has an export licence.
How is that possible?
I don't know.
Are they real?
Yes.
I thought by taking these treasures
they'd be saved from some
rich idiot's mantelpiece.
Instead I seem to have
precipitated murder.
Actually, I think quite
the opposite.
JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS
Oh, haven't you ever heard
of the healing power of laughter?
Does it have the capacity to
bring back the dead?
My apologies.
We were just blowing up
a bit of steam.
I was... Sorry!
But it's not every day two of
life's biggest problems
go up in smoke.
Two?
Marmaduke and the dig site.
The dig site?
We'll be excavating in a week.
How so?
It reverts.
Reverts to whom?
You?
With Marmaduke dead,
his lease belongs to
His Majesty's Government.
And they'll let you carry on
digging?
Well, I don't suppose they plan
on opening a consulate.
I think Leonard and I need
an early night.
All this laughing has
a curious effect on me.
Do you have the artefact
Pearl was trying to steal?
A trinket.
I heard it was a curse.
The Curse of Ishtar.
I'd love to hear more about it.
Unless it's outside your area
of expertise.
"My holy Ishtar...
"Your beauty, a sickly curse.
"Spout black blood from an earth
which is riven and pockmarked.
"And let sour milk flow
from man-made scales,
"which vie for balance but fail.
"Then decimate this unjust world."
I prefer the one where
she lies in honey
and plays 50 rounds of
over and under.
What is it about?
Betrayal.
Whose betrayal?
Dumuzid.
Think Brutus and Caesar.
You're alive!
Yes.
It's a construction site.
Everything's gone.
But what are they building?
I've no idea.
They look like...giant flamingos.
How can you bulldoze 5,000 years
of history?
Is any of this even connected?
The flamingos.
How did you know?
Can you get everyone to
the dig before the police come
to collect Pearl?
Yes.
And I won't even ask why.
I need to talk to Ezekiel.
What's she doing here?
What's he doing here?
Well...
This is a surprise.
Mrs Christie wants to talk to us.
It won't take long.
I thought you might like to
settle things privately.
Settle what?
For you, the ownership of this dig.
I explained that yesterday.
It's ours.
Actually, you said it was
the property of
His Majesty's Government.
As I said, ours.
I'll have to excuse myself.
These are not discussions
to have in public.
At least put this woman right
before you go.
Yes, you wouldn't want this woman
to pour oil on the fire.
Well, shall we?
Due to the circumstances surrounding
the closure of this dig,
it has been determined
by His Majesty's Government
that our interests are best
served by granting the land lease
to a third party.
A third party?
What are you talking about?
Whose interests?
Our country's.
Our country needs this dig.
The history of Mesopotamia is
the history of mankind.
If we don't own the world's culture,
how can we be its centre?
And, more importantly, what does
this sandbank mean to anyone else?
Progress.
Which, as Sir Constance reminded me,
is dependent on the actions
of unreasonable men.
Men prepared to do whatever's
necessary to achieve their goals.
Like murder.
I think you're confusing goals
with duty and sacrifice.
I think you're confusing duty
and sacrifice with self-interest.
And murder with something noble.
I always wondered how
a middle-ranking diplomat
got knighted.
Would you like to explain?
Well, I'd be delighted to
hear it myself.
Your dig belongs to
the Iraq Petroleum Company,
which in turn belongs
to the British Government.
In a short while, your excavations
will be replaced with
pumpjacks and pipelines.
Instead of artefacts,
oil will be coming from the ground.
I'm sorry you had to learn this way.
It's an unfortunate
geographical reality.
Rest assured, there's a generous
compensation scheme.
Which comes a little late
for Patrick Mulholland.
He was your friend.
He was an obstacle.
The Curse of Ishtar.
You betrayed him.
He was trying to tell me.
The export licences for
the stolen artefacts.
The same scrawled signature
as Marmaduke's now defunct lease.
Yours, presumably.
Before a more lucrative revenue
stream presented itself,
you engaged Marmaduke
to filter artefacts
and supply a steady stream
to the black market.
You channelled the official
paperwork through Lucy,
who repaid your trust by starting
up an affair with your untamed peer.
You murdered your wife?
No, that was Marmaduke.
Lucy could implicate him.
And so he killed her.
With the same poison procured
for Patrick Mulholland.
This wasn't part of
Sir Constance's plan.
It did leave you with
a mess to clear up.
If blowing someone up in
a confined space counts as such.
You killed Ella.
No, the monkey found the poison
in Marmaduke's room.
I assume you have the
strychnine on your person.
One doesn't throw away
usable ammunition,
especially when expecting to meet
an adversary alone.
Take a moment to consider
your best interests.
Reinstating your dig is
within my power.
I believe your eyes have
turned to Syria -
that's Viscount Torrance, isn't it?
We're old friends.
The decisions I make are for
a future you can't comprehend.
It is my duty to ensure that
in 100 years our great country
is still great.
Which is a laudable ambition
for an opportunistic petty thief.
I need to search you.
The museum will soon be in need of
a new principle.
Sir Frederick can't go on forever.
My ambition begins and ends with
the history you're happy to sell to
the highest bidder.
Very well.
There's no need for anything
undignified.
I warned you....
..that scandal was as good as death
in my profession.
Do you have any idea
what you've just done?
My duty.
You have about 15 minutes before
the effects start to manifest.
I would advise leaving.
It won't be something easily
forgotten.
Assuming that's poison
and not water,
I'll stay.
No man should die alone.
Everyone dies alone.
I'm not sure that's true.
Everyone dies with their conscience.
Do you like golf?
I hate it.
Why did you come here?
To research romance.
Did it work?
Yes.
What did you learn?
That it's outside my control.
So I'm not an artefact...
..that can be dug up and studied?
Well, in a few thousand years.
What would they find?
That you had a thick head.
Is that all?
A well proportioned brain.
Stupid but pretty.
Just what I was aiming for.
That's the problem with archaeology.
It doesn't tell the whole story.
I'm sorry that Mr Hutchins is
no longer with you.
The partners thought it
best that he retire.
His tastes were...
..old-fashioned.
He didn't like change.
So I heard.
I would ask for comments
on my passion project,
but perhaps we can avoid that dance.
We can.
As promised, the fat,
little detective returns.
That's wonderful.
In addition to this, of course.
Your romance is...
It isn't romance.
It isn't?
It's a story about emotion, which,
unlike romance, exists.
I understand.
You'll publish it under
the name of Mary Westmacott.
Oh, a nom de plume.
Very clever.
Keep the storytelling separate.
Keep the talk of romance
from damaging our bottom line.
After all, how can a woman who
writes about an asexual
reasoning machine address
matters of the heart?
People would be terrified I might
combine the two.
And I'm not sure that anyone
would believe that murder
and love could exist side-by-side.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media