Adieu Paris (2021) - full transcript

I was great! They said it.

They ask a question,
bam, bam, joke, joke.

I did my show.

I think they had a great time.

That's why they invited me.

I didn't try to get noticed,
you know how I am.

I was funny, that's all,

I was just funny.

There is one thing I didn't understand.

Why are the wives, or partners,

not invited?



Because it's an old tradition.

They've had it for 20 years.

It's not that "women are not invited",
it's part of the game.

Where does it take place,
in a locker room?

I'll change that.

This is my first one, it's...

Thank you guys!

Cheers! No, I can't have a drink.

It's not ugly.

It's not ugly.

- It's not nice to say.
- It's just that.

Here you are, bowing down to them.

In my opinion you are much better
than them.

You're much better.



Thanks, guys!

They should kiss your feet.

They should be the ones...

See, if it had happened to you,

I wouldn't be like you. I'd be happy,

Truly happy.

Truly happy for you.

But you prefer to be cynical.

- No, I'm not.
- I'm a Belgian with a big belly,

Mr Nobody,
invited by those Paris legends.

You should be happy for me! That's all.

Why do you...

Isabelle, you dressed up?

Yes, you did!
You put on some lipstick.

You can't come, it's not me.
It's the rules.

I'll cling on to you.

No, I've drunk too much.

Come on, let's have a drink!
No, no!

- Come on, be nice.
- Isabelle, no!

- Come, my darling.
- No.

- Here's a café.
- No.

Come here, let's have a drink.

YOSHI'S FRIENDS LUNCH

September, 4, 2021

You have your lunch today!

You must be happy, you can go.

I'm not going.

I am not in the mood.

I don't have the codes anymore.

With them, you have

to be brilliant,

to shine and be witty like that,

back and forth. I don't have

that anymore.

Prepare something specific then.

No.

I don't feel like it.

I hardly read anymore,

other than you, I see no one.

Yet, you told me this morning,

at the store,

you discussed euros and francs
with the cashier,

and you made her laugh.

It was funny.
Tell them, they'll like it.

It hurts all over,

and I have

my tv show at 2:20.

Come on,
you are in great shape today.

Look at you.

Look at that,

you'll be fine, you'll see people.

In the morning I start with white.

Otherwise, with our jobs
we end up alcoholic.

- This one is not bad.
- Yes!

- And on top of it, it's the cheapest.
- So convenient!

Something changed, no?

What is it?

What? Your moustache.

I don't have it anymore.
I don't remember.

- You had one?
- Yes, for 25 years.

- It's great like this.
- Yes.

I look younger.

Who's the younger one?

Oh my, the weather is terrible!

Horrendous!

Bertrand! God,

you went all out with the decoration.

- I did.
- What?

- I spared no expense.
- It shows.

How are you?

Fine, thank you.

You got it all out today!

Even your Legion of Honor!

This is just old stuff.

A real evening outfit, perfect.

A premiere outfit indeed!

What will you drink?

We didn't ask you,

but I'll have a glass of white wine.

- Yes, white.
- Is it good?

Oh! I haven't said hello.

- Sorry.
- No worries.

You've what you need?

I do, thank you.

- Your glass.
- So?

What is this?

When will you come to the theater?

Sorry?

Oh, yes, I will...

You told me.

Yes, I wonder,

why don't I?

Listen, it's stupid.

Set up a date,

and I'll give you two prime seats.

Ask yourself:

Why am I not coming to see you, why?

Why don't I feel like coming
to your theater?

Please, ask yourself!

Come on,

answer me.

You're not a coward, are you?

Answer me,
Why don't I come and see you?

Why do you invite me?

What did I do wrong, for you to
always invite me?

What have I done wrong?

I never did you any harm.

Stop inviting me!

Have a nice afternoon!

I have to go.

I'm not kidding, I've to go.

The last one.

It's time.

In the name of friendship!

No, no. I'm done.

Oh, yes.

Ladies and gentlemen, hello!

It's a joke.

Just a joke, you know.

You're not going
to pull that trick again?

How are you guys?

Hello!

Gimme a drink.

I made people happy,
with that song, yes.

That's a beautiful song.

Do you get royalties
every time it plays?

If only...

That was a song.
Oh, yeah, that was a great song.

- Why did you stop?
- Because

the audience wanted it to,
but it didn't happen.

I love this one without the lyrics.

I can only say that.

Listen carefully.

Without the music, it is...

splendid!

And you laugh?
You've done it all to me.

- Here he comes!
- Hi fellas!

Hello!

We're happy we've adopted you.

Don't you think it's better?

Oh, yes I just saw it.

- Do you want a drink?
- Yes, a glass of something.

Red or white, I don't care.

- This is your song, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.

There's nothing better.

Nothing has been invented since.

Give us a little more!

- I don't remember.
- I'm sure you do.

- Morning coffee, morning croissant,
- You got it.

Morning coffee, morning croissant,

No more pillow!

Cuddly Paris, joyful Paris!
Yes, that's it.

That made people dance.

I forgot after. There was a whole story.

Paris Premiere, Paris Paname,
the little smile.

But you remember!

We all remember.

Yes, I'd prefer you to forget it.

I loved it, when it hit the bamboos.

That wasn't me. It was the other one!

Philippe, it is a cover version.

You're mixing it all up. I am done.

Wait, it'd be hard to mix it up
you only made one.

Don't take the piss out of me.

I won't play that game.

I am not.

Don't see evil where there's not.

Come on buddy, you're my buddy.

I know, you are my buddy too.

Tell me, young man,
you worked well.

Back to what we really care for.

This is great work.

I try to come up with
something that works.

It's beautiful.

I could not do that.

I'd have no patience.

- It's not your job either.
- That's true.

You got talent, a lot of ideas,
I'd simply...

I was the first to do it,
the first in the world.

You'll be the only one.

You should leave it in the cellar,

so that it ages well.
Like good wine, it'll age well.

The name of the sculpture is

Mikado.

Its name is Mikado?

The sculpture's name is Mikado.

Hey there is still dust on it.

You don't touch a bottle
that aged 15 years in a cellar.

I don't get it.

I am happy to see that

you have in your hands a piece
that will... break.

You have to be very careful,
it's not that solid.

- This is a prototype.
- It's unique.

If we spend the evening on the Mikado,
I leave.

Okay.

I just warn you, it is very simple.

Death is beautiful!

Shall we go?

Hurry, you're gonna be late.

It's good to be a bit late.

It's always nice to miss the beginning.

I think it is the worst part:

The reunion, the hugs, the first drink.

Won't you tell me that in the cab?

No. By leaving now,

we'd be just in time
for the guest of the year.

I don't know who it is.

They told me about a guy,

an actor with some kind of
a high-pitched voice,

and terrible laughs.

They canceled him I think.

Here I am, here I am!

Hello, my friend!

Slacker!

Cancers check!

Cancers check!

Careful, kidneys check too!

I shouldn't have said that.

It's a bit heavy, but rather funny.

I have one on top of it. It's not true.

Let's be serious.

I had a hard time

finding la Closerie des Lilas.
Never been here.

So, here it is!

It is great! Great!

You booked the whole place. Cool.

I'm so happy to be here.

I'm intimidated, but really proud.

I'm going through a rough patch.

Suddenly, thanks to you,

I saw some sort of a

call in the dark.

I followed the light,
and thanks to you, I'm here.

Thanks. It is a huge relief to be here.
What shall I do?

Shall we knock back a drink?

'Cause I'm dehydrated.

Shall I pay for this round? No.

One shouldn't say "pay". Bad mark!

It's crass.

To pay. No, not among us.

I am sorry.
It's because I am stressed.

My mother always told me
"shut up, Benoît,

you hog the conversation".
I don't listen.

I decided. You teach me, I listen.

Your words will feed me.

I wish I can share
this joy and celebrate.

Thanks for having me here.

This is extraordinary.

Thanks, thanks to all of you.

My new buddies, thanks a lot.

Any wine tasting? Shall I wear a mask?

This is how I see a group.

No? Fine, What is your...,

What do you...?

It is...

Is there a welcome drink?

It's really hot here, or is it me?

Maybe I am late, I had a friend, she...

I need to cool off,
put water on my face.

Sorry man, a pianist who doesn't play

is a dead pianist.

Have you...?

- I just gave the address.
- What?

- Are you crazy or what?
- Do you know him well?

You all know him.

Sure, but he told me...

I'm not responsible for him,

first thing.

Second, you're not welcoming either.

We could offer him a drink, you see?

He realizes he's made a mistake.

He says he's going to pay for a drink,
you treat him like a murderer.

It's not the problem.

He's a huge guy.

The least we could have done
was to offer a drink.

That's what I said.

For God's sake, we are in Paris.

...well documented.

And on the title
I shall burn my glory,

under the blue white and red label,

the blue, white and red cover page

in the white,
we can see Marechal Petain.

And it's Marechal Pétain

who said those never published words...

Done.

What a story!

What is he doing here?

What are you doing here?

Is this a provocation?
Weren't we clear enough?

You have the nerve to come here
after what happened?

Aren't you embarrassed?

Have you forgotten what Michael told you
at the end of the party?

- Michael is not here?
- No, not yet.

It went well at the party.

- At the beginning, yes.
- It's a joke.

- We all laughed a lot.
- At the beginning, yes. And?

- Yes.
- Yes.

It's true I sometimes get out of hand.

You stray off course.

- That's it.
- I apologize.

Listen, Michael has not yet arrived,

so I'm going to kindly ask you
to leave us alone.

I don't even know how you got here.

Jacques, Jacques!

Louki told him over the phone.

The other one confused him, you know.

It's fine.

- What?
- No.

No, wait!

What happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas, no?

Why are we having this argument?
There's another guest coming.

Who?

Listen,

we're gonna sit down to lunch,

and you are not part of that "we".

Let us go.

- No, no wait.
- Yes?

Please go.

I haven't had lunch.

I'm sure they'll serve you
on the other side of the street.

Okay.

I must have done something...

Oh, yes. You did.

No even a dessert, no...?

No, no dessert. There's none.

No dessert.

I can have a drink at the bar.

We wait until things cool down.
Maybe we can have coffee together.

- No, please.
- Okay.

A bit of pride will do me no harm.

Excuse-me.

What have I done?

It's crazy.

Can I look at the drink menu?

He called you yesterday, and instead
of telling him what we had all decided,

that we didn't want to see him,

you tell him about the time and place.
It is crazy.

I do understand.

It's not exactly the same thing

to say:

Sorry, but after what you've done,
it's dead,

than to say come to our meeting.

- You agree on the difference?
- I do.

It's not the same words.

Wait,

I am not mad,

I am not a pestering fascist,

I simply say

that it's not the same thing to say,

mister, you are not coming,

never,

than see you tomorrow.

Did you get it?

It's not the same thing.

I am happy it is you.

It's true.

Welcome to la Closerie des Lilas.

Last year, they invited a singer.

There's always a guest.

This year, you're the one.

Last year, it was the singer,
the fat guy with hair.

A fat guy with hair.

Yes, I was disappointed.

Not a nice guy?

No, some kind of a...

- A moron?
- A moron, yes.

I didn't understand

why they don't want you

at the table.

These are things...

Maybe they're playing a trick on me.

Ah, it's a trick.

I know nothing about the ritual.

That's why I am asking you.

I am asking myself too.

Shall we take a picture?

The other night, because of what he did,

all of us together, have decided

he wouldn't set a foot here.

We agreed, didn't we or not?

He doesn't look well.

I'm not doing well neither.

Who is well? Nobody is doing well.

We all have to hold out. To resist.

Stick to what we said to ourselves,

at all costs.

If we don't stand firm, we're dead.

We're all responsible for our deeds.

There's no amnesty.
Otherwise what is it?

Everyone then could be forgiven.

Oh! Old Hitler, poor man.

He's lonely, he's no friends.

Let him come and sit with us.

Hitler again, I missed him.

Maybe, you regret
he's not sitting with us.

Tell me, go ahead. I'm waiting here.

There's a moment when,
if nothing happens,

if someone doesn't say stop!

Hitler is being offered Poland.

For Poland, we said stop.

- Stop.
- You're a kind-hearted man.

For us to be happy,

for everyone

to enjoy living in one's comfort,

we needed someone

who accepted to stand firm.
Firm, see what I mean.

I'm going to tell you.

I can see you and De Gaulle.

- And Abbé Pierre.
- Someone who took action.

Someone who says: No, no!

Someone who says: Screw you!

Screw you!

- No pasaran!
- Precisely.

You say exactly

what everyone thinks.

Someone with balls... who will say

Mister,
you're not welcome at this table!

At this table, yes!

For example, Hitler.

You're not welcome at this table, Adolf.

He said Hitler four times,
four times Hitler.

Hitler is not welcome at this table.

Absolutely, you're right.

It's not about that, it's about

keeping our group together.

I never forgot
this guy's behavior at the party.

Which is why, he's not coming with us
at Michael's table.

You are right.

Even at the end of the table,

if he's silent and doesn't eat much?

If you don't want to deal with it,

at least respect
the ones who protect you,

thanks to whom
you can enjoy a pot-au-feu

- with friends.
- That's exactly what it is.

And pot-au-feu is the same.

Pot-au-feu,

same thing!

For it to end up on your plate,

some people had
to get their hands dirty.

You don't give a damn.

You don't want to see it.

I have visited

slaughterhouses. I have been there.

I don't say a word.

I just protect you.

And I eat pot-au-feu too.

There are slaughterhouses,

there is blood-letting too.

Behind each pot-au-feu,

there's a blood bath.

That's all.

If the slaughterhouses were glazed,
we'd only have veggies.

Don't count on me

to make me feel guilty.
Too late at my age.

Jacques, Jacques.

But Jacques, come on,

age is in your mind.

Say that again.

What did you say about age?

I said age is in your mind.

What do you mean?

Age is in your mind.

And, is that all?

It's a metaphor.

Then say I am going
to do a metaphor.

I simply wanted to say
that some people...

Say it for all of us.

Yes, it interests us.

You have understood.

So, what did you say?

Age is in your mind.

- And that is all?
- Yes.

Why did you say that?

We can all say such things.

We're all afraid of clichés.

- Yes.
- Let's talk about the weather.

Very well.

It's a great idea.

Let's talk about the weather.
What a gorgeous late season!

Bravo! Cheers, cheers!

To our friendship!

Louki, no hard feelings!

Careful, you don't do that again.

Nevermore.

No more initiative.

We could go now,
but it is a delicate matter.

They're sitting down to lunch.

It's altogether early and late.

It's down to the minute.

Papa, they're waiting for you.

Give me two minutes.

Tell me what happened.

What have I said? Were you there?

Did I do something?

You did nothing wrong.

Explain me.

- All fine.
- What are they doing?

They're talking about me.

They know everything.

They're doing comparisons I don't like

with Hitler.

It hurts me too.

Do you realize Benoît?

Where are we here?

Are we in a school yard?

It doesn't sound like it.

So many years to join them,

and... What?

Is that me or you?

It's me.

You know, your entrance...

- Clumsy?
- Yeah.

I'm getting a good telling off, for you.

Sorry, but I am clean.

I know.

You have to... with that.

I told you before.

Am I wrong?

- Great, as usual!
- Great!

Great... Beautiful,

but now I am off.

I play for nobody.

Nobody listens to me.

I've had enough, I go home.

Speak softly!

No, I won't.

- I am fed up, I'm upset, I leave.
- It's not over.

Yoshi will arrive,

then, it's Yoshi's trial.

That's very important.

My day off
and my daughter are important too.

Very important!

Listen Gerald...

- It's Gérard.
- It's the same.

No, it's not the same,

not the same.

I said that
if slaughterhouses were glazed,

we'd have a lot of veggies.

Or only veggies, I did a good joke.

True.

But,

it's exactly what you said.

But,

that was not really funny.
No one laughed, if I may say.

You're worth better than that.

It's the time that will...

Time will work in our favor.

Time or tone?

Time. Now, you see...

But it will...

Are you okay?

Benoît, are you okay?

Can you function?

Yes or no?

- Yes.
- That's good.

I wanted to hear that.

And what else?

We're all working in the same direction.

Nothing is buggered.

Now, we need to work.

I'm going to piece things together.

Sorry, but...

No forgiveness, no need.

No one is superior,
it's not the question.

I want to trust you.

That happens like that, in the eyes.

- Okay?
- Agreed.

Shall we say go?

Go.

Deal!

I leave you now.

- If you leave...
- Yes?

You tell your daughter whom I like...

What is it with my daughter?

Tell her you'll end up homeless.

Leave my daughter alone!

She doesn't need anyone.

Talking about homeless,
you'd better stop drinking.

Is that a question of money?

Not at all,
it's not a question of dough.

Wow!

I am copping it!

I... I'm going to leave.

Yes. I am going to leave.

Even now, I am...

You are done?

What are you doing here?

- Is it over?
- Not at all.

For sure, it's not over.

- Did you pick up the wrong year?
- No.

I just went out,

to have a fag.

For God's sake!

Such an atmosphere!

That's true.

Were you sacked?

What do you want?
Check if there are girls.

There are none, none at all, we laugh,

but there are no girls.

Do they like your films? They know them?

We don't talk about me.

I think so.

It's not what matters.

I think so, yes.

One or two like them.

Who?

You don't know them.

What's the average age there?

It doesn't matter.

They're old for sure.
Let me tell you something,

age,

it is in your mind.

What?

No but,

any other clichés like this one?

Did you come to stir up the shit?

Why did you come?

- Are you going to stay here?
- No, I'm going...

You're embarrassing!

They must be impatient.

- I'm doing joke after joke.
- Ok.

If you feel weak, you know I am around,
okay?

I've to go. They're calling me.
Be right back, guys.

- Ben!
- Good luck!

Hey... I love you.

Dad, could you sign this for me?
Their signature was missing.

What is it?

It's time for my pills, sorry.

Yes, you're right.

- One of each.
- What are you taking?

Listen, I have been taking

Lanzor since the beginning.

It's for my hiatus hernia.

I take this,

and this one,

for cholesterol.

It's like? Is it every day?

- You take two pills.
- I'm going to take mine.

- It is good because...
- It's for the kidneys.

What trafficking!

I have a heating belt,

- it goes all the way around.
- Wow! Man.

All around the belly,
so there are no problems.

Better be careful not

to gain too much weight!

You can also get heating pads.

And above all,

never take generics at the pharmacy!

It's better to miss this moment, that
always made me uncomfortable, you know?

Hélène's entrance,
always at the same time,

Chubby Hélène,

the legendary waitress of la Closerie...

La Closerie des Lilas.

With her compression stockings,
and her large girdle.

I know, Dad, you already told me.

I know I already told you.

If I'm not allowed to ramble at my age,

what's the point of getting old?

Gentlemen!

Good morning!

Here are the starters.

The terrine skewer,

and the ladybug-mozzarella.

Thank you.

You're not Hélène?

No, I'm not Hélène.

You are very observant.

- Enjoy your meal!
- Thank you.

Hey, it's not

an easy physique.

It's somehow funny that Jeff kept
one copy of my Mikado series.

What did you say?

It's an interesting matter.

I said it is funny

that Jeff kept
one copy of my Mikado series.

True, it is curious.

The last unit

was auctioned in Sidney.

- I said auctioned.
- Wow!

- Auctioned?
- Yeah.

A year ago.

The opening night.

- Bam, Auction!
- He's gonna give us a price.

He's gonna talk dough.

Please, give us the price.

I am not talking dough, I'm only saying
the last unit was auctioned

a month and a half ago.

It's crazy!

- How many rods are there?
- Are you an idiot? Stop.

It's not by the rod.

I just wanted to know how much
your Mikado costs?

- A price per rod?
- Yes...

No, not per rod.

It's not about the number of rods.

You see, this is...

Where is Alain?

He is somewhere around.

I thought we all left together?

Alain?

This was Paris-Paname by Enzo,

and oddly enough,

Alain Gerfagnon,

one of your close friends.

Yes.

We're in 1984,

do you see where I'm going?

This was the time

when you were lecturing

about the sacred obligation of laughter.

And there,

every day,

spellbound,

seated in the first row,

who?

Who?

The one who was not yet

Jacques Stehlin.

Jacques Stehlin wrote beautiful
words about you:

"Alain Gerfagnon has been for me,

"as in the Neoplatonist Plotinus

"the one beyond

"the human being."

That's nice of him.

What could you add?

What would you say?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The ladybug-mozzarella, please.

Thanks, here.

And the second terrine skewer?

I thought posting myself near the window
would make him come.

Michael? it doesn't sound like him

to be uh... to be late.

No more leeks vinaigrette?

Is there no more?

Is it deliberate?
I really love them.

The menu has changed.

Only to annoy our friend Jacques.

The chef thought it was nice to update.

It's okay he thinks, even though
he wasn't asked to do so.

We wanted him to cut three leeks
and a little vinaigrette.

- Well, that's okay, forget it.
- I'll report to the kitchen.

Leeks-vinaigrette what...

So you know I came across your...

your text there, wonderful, on being.

What is it to be?

It's very, very funny, and very moving,

and then... Well, it has not aged.

Yes, it has...

simply not aged.

We never see each other.

No, I love phones.
Every morning I pray for it to ring.

Can I have a little bit of...
There you go.

Fresh like that, it's good,
thank you very much.

Do you have mayonnaise eyes?

Mayonnaise eyes,
she absolutely has gorgeous eyes.

It is pathetic!

Not at all. This young lady
has absolutely gorgeous eyes.

So I was slightly confused and
mixed it up with the eggs. Nothing mean!

He tries to make an impression,
it doesn't work,

he explains his joke that's not funny.

Don't listen to them.

I find him still very attractive!

There you go, listen,

I know that if she tells me,

straight in the eyes,
I know it's a lost cause. I got it well.

You're gorgeous, charming, adorable!

- Do you think you're Prince Charming?
- I still have it.

Don't worry, you're handsome.

An oak tree!

An oak! An oak!

A plant metaphor!

We are living important moments!

A 72 year old oak tree!

No, I'm 71, I'm only 71.

I'm talking about you, you're 72.

No, I'm not. I'll be 72 in 6 months,
and right now I'm 71.

72 is 72.

Shall I tell you exactly how old I am?

I'm 71 years, 4 months, 5 days
and 3 hours old! There you go!

I told you... 72
and you are nitpicking...

- I'm not quibbling.
- Yes, you are.

72 is 72.

Why would you age people?
It's such a stupid obsession.

He recognizes he is 72, and we stop.

Stop pissing me off now!

I'm not 72, I'm 71.

When I turned 70, I was in pain,

I'll cope with being 72 in due time.

But for now, I'm only 71.
Shit!

I beg your pardon.
Excuse me but there....

End of story!

It's a good age though... Come on.

To the 72 years of the others!

You piss me off!

We're here to talk, not to count.

Alain would like to say something.

I do not know
if you have already done so.

I went to the grocery store,

the prices were in francs.

So I came with euros.

I don't know if you're like me...

I don't give a damn.

Everything is fine.

Crook!

De Gaulle is a political genius.

Pétain is a military
and a diplomatic genius.

The president after the war examined
all of Pétain's diplomatic papers.

He was amazed

at the intelligence,
the skill with which Pétain,

almost without cards in his hand,

diplomatically managed

to exchange with various powers.

Whether it's the Soviet Union,

the Germans or the Americans...

The great Hélène bowed out.

it's hard, but that's how it is.

I just realized it's been a while
since we've been here,

and we still haven't said
we love each other.

Most people will die without telling
themselves they love each other!

It is important! It's very important,

- you all have to tell each other.
- Thanks, Pierre-Henri.

I will write it down.

I love you Jeff.

I love you.

I love you.

It's a job that's being lost,
you can't learn it.

Of course.

In addition, financially speaking
I could not handle it with Hélène.

At the dish washing I have two Pakis.

That's for Bertrand.
He loves dish washing.

Can I Leave? I've had enough.

Sure.

You're talking about dish washing,
that interests me.

I did some dish washing.

Tell me,

our conversations were less boring
before?

Do you think so?

I don't remember.

Only now have I understood one thing

after 40 years that we've been together,

I am not really your friend.

Because I am not enough of an artist.

Please don't take it like that!

Please, I beg you.

You take the piss out of me,
40 years and I realize it only today.

Shit!

No, cheers, cheers!

- My ass!
- Come on, come back!

All of a sudden,
my heart started to beat

in a way that hadn't happened
for a year!

You did well then!

Wait, there she is.
Miss, miss please

can you come over for a second?
We'd like to order...

A Chassagne-Montrachet.
Do you have magnums?

Yes.

Let's have a Chassagne then.

He is a specialist. Wait!
You are lovely miss.

She is lovely.
And he has a wine waiter diploma.

Just like you are a singer.

Monsieur sings very well.

He's a tenor.

What do you sing?

Actually I rather sing in
the shower now, but I sang quite a bit.

I can give you a single
for your birthday.

Do you have a record player?

I would accept. When is your birthday?

- In January.
- January is a bit late.

January, it's so far away.

It's like a long bike race,
for a man my age.

I'm going to give you a present now.

In case you forget me in January.

Look at it, come, come, look at it.

Look at it, it's for you.

I give it to you, it's yours.

- No.
- Yes.

If you don't take it, I'll put it
in the glass, it's going to be ruined.

- No.
- I'm not kidding.

Leave her alone.

Everything is fine,
it's nothing for you, it's great for me.

It creates a bond between us.

If you don't take it, you'll humiliate
me in front of my friends.

they think I'm still irresistible.
Take it.

See you later.

That's all that's left from your father,
take it!

Promise me...

...never to get rid of it.

I swear, Mom, I swear.

You have disappointed us so much.

- You're not afraid of being heavy.
- I'm not.

Come on, Enzo.

You're taking the upper hand
over her.

Louki, wait, this is no joke.

If it is just for fun, let me live
my story with this young woman.

I let you, but you sank on your own.

I am not going to sink, you know me.

- Seen from the outside, it's pathetic.
- No, it's not.

- See how old she is, how old you are.
- Okay, I'm 71.

72.

If you want,

fair enough.

Did you really give her your watch?

My watch, it's a game between us.

The watch is great by the way.

You're not going to ask me to call her
to get your watch back?

No, not at all,
what are you thinking of?

Let it go, it's fine, she's sweet,
and she understood.

Cheers, even for just 3 of us!

Jeff, come back!

- To our friendship!
- Come back, you're not alone.

Cheers, Jeff!

Did I miss something?

Cheers, to me!

To Jeff's dish washing.

And to great literature!

- To what?
- To great literature!

Wait, I'm sorry,
what do you mean by that?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing here?

I came to see how you were.

I'm fine, don't worry,
I'm taking a little break.

Go back home.

Go back.

Everything is fine.

I didn't hear the last sentence.

I'm telling you, everything is fine.
See you later.

You look feverish though,
what's going on?

Go back home!

No, it's okay.

They are...

It's not great.

You don't want to come with me?

I am coming.

- I am going home.
- Don't let yourself suffer!

- You're right.
- Come with me.

Not right away.
Let me finish my glass.

Go and clear things up with them.

What?

You want me to do it?

No, don't do that.

I know you don't need me,

but I still feel like it.

Shall we go eat somewhere?
I don't think that tie was a good idea.

- You think so?
- You show up with those skulls!

- The joke on cancer was too much.
- Yes.

Shit, that could be it may explain.

No, that was before.
They already had an issue with me!

Did you show your ass?

They're jealous, that's all.

You've seen their asses?

Shall I ask them to show their asses?

I can, I say to them: "Show your asses".

- What a bunch of morons!
- Oh, yes.

If I had any witty comments,
I'd go and tell them.

But, I don't have any.

- What could I tell them?
- Don't tell them anything.

One of them is bitter, a nasty one.

Are you gonna be fine?

Yes, you know me.

- Don't let yourself be humiliated.
- I'll go home when I choose to.

- That's it.
- A bit of panache!

Think of buying some bread.

How are the morons?

Jeff tell me,

the Belgian guy is still here?

Shall I say goodbye to him?
No problem, I can do it.

- But where are we here?
- I'll tell him to go.

This is a good idea. It's yours?

Yes, indeed.

Tell me,

- What?
- The moustache.

Ah, the moustache.

I cut it, It makes me look younger.

Everything you do is remarkable,

except when you replace
the leeks vinaigrette!

- I don't want to hear about it.
- Why do you do that?

My God!

What is "the Friends of Yoshi" about?

Yoshi arrives, a rather nice guy,

very polite, a gentleman,

but the guy is broke.

- A Japanese man who is broke?
- Yes, he is.

There is a ceremony, a speech, a trial.

Yoshi's trial, yes.

At the end, they write him a check.

- They all give something?
- They all do.

It's because he's done something?

It's because he did nothing.

You're pulling my leg.

He is not picking up.

Then,

since Michael cannot chair the meeting
and handle the agenda,

it is my duty...
to replace him,

and therefore officially
open our session.

Please, let Yoshi in.

For 40 years in a ponderous world,

where everyone tackles one's tasks,

where he who does is more honored

than he who is,

Yoshi, alone,

luminous and pale,

motionless as a bench,

lazy as a God on Sunday,

Yoshi, alone,

reminds us that life is elsewhere.

Tremble, productivist world,

his very existence is a challenge

to your advent.

Gifted for everything, committed
to nothing, Yoshi always refrained

from venturing into the world of action.

He even escaped that hideous...

Am I disturbing you?

No, no, it's bit long.

At one point, I was wondering if...

I am going to start again,

I don't want you to loose
the meaning of this speech.

This year again, let's hope Yoshi
will not have soiled any film

nor cluttered up any screen.

Not a single tree will have been
cut down by him.

Yoshi is a blank sheet, a breath,
a rough diamond.

He lets others burn themselves
with effort.

He's done nothing with his skills.

There lies

all his glory.

Jacques at his best!

Jacques at his best!

Michael is not here?

Michael? No.

Uh no, he's not here.

So let's sit down.

Let's start.

Now, gentlemen,

we're going to study
this case and check

that Yoshi

has done nothing this year,

neither painted, nor wrote, filmed,
or composed.

The defence may now speak.

Well, your Honor, I can confirm:

Nothing this last year.

Nani!

Objection!

- Mr Prosecutor...
- Objection, your Honor!

More specific accusations?

Yes, dear one!

- Dear one, please!
- I apologize.

A denouncement.

Yoshi, you've been reported scribbling
on a notepad at Café de Flore.

Do you hide literary ambitions?

Odious accusation, your Honor!

There was a witness there,

it was purely practical,

nothing artistic.

Aren't you exaggerating?

- Not at all!
- It's too much.

He was writing down a phone number!

Gentlemen, thank you very much,
thank you.

Gentlemen,
the court will rule after dessert.

It seems to me that nothing opposes

the renewal of the annual pension

of our defendant.

It's a little bit laborious.

- Let me finish.
- Please, all the way to the end.

Go straight to it, straight ahead,
play straight!

Shut up, with your basset voice.

It's not my fault! I had tonsils
taken out when I was a kid.

There we are. The jurors will vote
with a show of hands later.

Yoshi, I've never seen this suit.

- It's new.
- Ah! Beautiful.

- On sale?
- No.

I gave him 2 of my suits, 2 months ago.

Nearly new, why does he buy new ones?

Anyway!

He goes a bit too far.

Cheers!

Cheers! cheers!

Johnny, he felt at home here.

When he toured at Palais des Sports
he did 5 weeks there.

He used to come here,
always the same. He'd say:

I like la Closerie,

but I can't come too often...
What a liar!

'Cause it's enclosed,

and I'm allergic to lilacs.

I'm allergic to lilacs, you know.

He would still come.

What signing do you mean?

At 3pm, I won't be there at 3pm.

When do I work then, when do I write?

Yes, when do I write?

That is it.

Modiano? Yes, do you think he organizes
signing afternoons in supermarkets?

And le Clézio? No.

They're writing, at their desk.
that's all.

All of a sudden, I'm going to bed.

Four hours later he was still there,
we were closed. A nightmare.

Oh, my God, the other one!

Jeff!

Thanks for listening,
thanks for the pianist!

Then?

Everything seems fine.

No, he's still here.

No, no but...

But what? He is still here.

Well, yes he's here.

Why is he here? Why is he not leaving?

I am telling him all our stories,
the olden days, Yoshi's trial...

So you didn't tell him to leave?

Well uh, no. I completely forgot.

You forgot?

- The truth?
- Yeah?

I didn't have the guts.

Ah yes.

Here we are.

So, it's just a lack of courage.

Okay. Fine.

No, okay.

Call me a collaborator,

while you're at it!

I'd welcome the occupant,

treat him with the best food.

Cheers, Johnny!

Wish you were still here,
instead of listening to that crap.

And to avoid these interferences,
which we know and go on.

You've had a close shave.

Any further excesses,

and it's the end.

However, how old are you?
80, 85?

77.

You've your whole life ahead of you.

Life is beautiful.

You must enjoy it.

My uncle joined the Friends
of the Chenonceaux Gardens.

It is great.

Very well organized.

Chenonceaux is gorgeous;
you like gardens?

I don't give a shit.

Pianist in a bar,
the best trade in the world!

You turn boredom into a feeling.

Come on! The pot-au-feu doesn't wait!

Here it is, it doesn't wait.

It can wait, it simmers.

- It's an expression, don't be fussy.
- It doesn't work with pot-au-feu.

This pot-au-feu looks like a daube.

- It is a daube.
- Wait, what do you mean?

It is a daube?

For 30 years you gave us pot-au-feu.

- What do you mean with your daube?
- Let me guess.

It was yesterday's special!

It's better the next day.

- I didn't want to throw it away.
- But, what...

Do you mean we have to change
so that things stay the same?

It's better when it has been reheated.

Which cut do you use for the daube?

Shin, scoters and cheek...

But no marrowbone?

That's the only bit of bother.

And no brisket rib either.

Careful, the plates are sizzling hot.

I had an old usher at the theater,

she always had daube in her lunchbox.

Thought she had it in her panties.
Scary!

Come on, Louki!

What is this?

Yoshi doesn't eat meat.

But wait, this is new.

There wasn't something simpler,

At least, less...

I mean less...

Expensive?

Yes, expensive that's it.
That's the right word.

Take lentils,

or dry beans, that would be okay.

French dry beans, not bad, uh?

In Montmartre,

at Marie's, rue Custine, in 1964,

there was an exceptional daube.

I had a friend, she was a vegetarian,
but she loved pig's trotters.

- She'd have one, just like that.
- Enough with the anecdotes!

Where is Alain?

No, where is Alain?

Alain?

I would have loved to crack jokes
like them.

Let me call you back.
Alain?

Why don't we see each other outside?

So that we could really exchange?

Listen,

you should talk to the other ones,
I am...

Don't be cross with me.

I am not here today.

You know, it's more...

You don't have to...

I don't feel obliged, no.

Shall we find a day now?
Do you have a lunch left?

You, you don't like me?

I'm not good enough for you?

I feel like you won't come back
if it continues like this.

I have the impression
Michael got tired of it.

I beg you,

stay with us.

Even if's not as great as it was, stay.

It's better than nothing.

I don't want the things I admired
when I was a kid, to vanish.

You think I am pathetic.

Is this handmade?

Yeah.

The guy with the tee-shirt,

he made it.

He did the bare minimum.

At the same time...

What a stupid time!

Let me sing something, please.

Yes, let me do it, softly.

I don't need anyone,

I don't need anyone to be loved, yes!

I don't need anyone...

to be loved

Life is nothing, just a journey,

a journey we hardly know of!

If it sounds more fun at the bar,
get your plates and go.

I just wanted to have a look.

Have a closer look.

We're not here to complain

What have I done?

It seems to be funnier there, so go!

Next time,
we could each have lunch at home.

We could do that.

There was another one
who was funny. He was...

A tall guy, who came into...

the bar, that changed names twice.
And it...

was eventually closed, after some time.

I don't know whether they tore it down.

It was just at the corner of the avenue,
at the crossroads of...

Boulevard what's-its-name, and Avenue...

Then, there was...

He explained, he had a way to do it...

He really had his way to do so.

He had, he had...

It is not so much who he was...

but he would say...

It was the way he said things.

He, he was really funny.

- Are they looking at us?
- Yes.

- Who?
- The small guy.

This is what I didn't want.

- You want me to go?
- No.

You see, when I am here,
I feel embarrassed.

You see, this...

I feel...

Confined.

I mean torn.

Torn, yes.

You know this kind of gathering
once a year is important for me.

I lost my father, you know.

Beg your pardon?

I lost my father, I feel well with them.

I wouldn't want this moment
to be spoiled. Not by you,

I don't mean that.

Why don't you go and have a sandwich?

Tell me where you are, I'll meet you.

You want me to leave then?

- No!
- Well, yes.

You understand what you like to.

So far there is no replacement,
which is why I ask you to stay.

But, you just told me to leave.

I didn't ask you to leave,
I am telling you to remain here,

so I can call you, and you come in.

See, I'd like you to be cool.

You take your day, you do what you want.

You're in a beautiful city,

You know it better than I,
you've known it for a long time.

We set up a meeting at The Marco Polo.

We book a nice table,

where we can be seen.

We arrive
and order some antipasti to start.

Please, wait...

And then, spaghetti vongole.

A little amaretto, or something
like that. It's going to be fun.

The man is crazy.

Sorry.

I think you'll have more...

I am listening.

It's turning into relentlessness.

We agreed

to never see him again.
He behaved like a pig. That's all.

Well, I do not
remember anything at all.

But who remembers?
Who remembers?

I don't remember either.
It's a matter of principle.

We need to trust who we were
that evening.

It takes one...

Fuck! Édouard! Édouard!

Oh, fuck, I am so happy.

You don't know
how happy I am!

I'm so glad you're here.

I didn't know.

What are you doing here?

Come,
let's go and have a drink.

Come. Let's take off.

It's privatized.

Can I just have one small glass?

What are you doing here?

No, but I...
Are you invited too?

My God!

It's great you're here.

I thought there were only old ones.
I'm bit reassured.

We are the youngest?

No, no.

- Louki is here?
- Yes.

Louki, you and I...
I didn't know.

You left the table, just like that?
This is so you.

Are you okay?

No. Are you taking me elsewhere?

Come on, let's make an entrance.
Let's make an entrance, I beg you.

Ben, let's do it.

You know, I'll play
the crippled Romanian.

I don't feel like it.

Let's both go.

- No, let's drink one more.
- Okay, but quickly.

I am so happy to see you.

I am slightly scared though.
Good vibes?

- Heard of the Dinner for Schmucks?
- Yeah.

We are the schmucks.

I don't get it.

What?

Actually you're not at the lunch.

- No.
- Oh, shit, sorry!

When did they call you?

Two, three days ago.

But why are you here then?

They forgot to tell me.

They forgot to cancel?

Uh, no...

No they told me too late.

So, that's why I am here?

Shall I stay with you?

Oh, you're nice!

No, you see, it....
I feel really bad for you.

No stress.

You came all the way from Namur?

Please!

What does he want?
What is he drinking?

Château Giscours 2011, 180 euros.

Well...

The curtain goes up,

we start talking with Michel,

and a guy says to his wife:
"But you took me to the theater!"

It's fantastic isn't it!

You say to yourself:
there is the Titanic...

The problem is when he laughs,
it looks like he has angina.

it's very annoying.

Be careful with yours.

I have it, it's over. I am doomed.

I don't give a damn.

Well, finally...

Are you still a night owl?

Yes, but... a lot more during the day.

- It pisses you off.
- Yes, that's stupid!

This is where you can't answer.

I know. You see, these are things

like these, that are of interest,
and make me interesting

for people like you.

Yes, indeed.

Because, I am a literary person.

Alain, it is so much better
when you are seated here with us.

You see, it's rewarding.

It's more, it's more...

You see this?

Looks like a lighter, no?

Yeah, it looks like one.

It looks like a knife.

You say it's a knife?

Look, look.

- Okay, tell me something rude.
- Bastard.

That's it.

When you get mugged,
whether an actor or not,

being witty or clever

doesn't save your ass.
This is a real knife.

Look.

No, not like this.
Hit me hard.

I was confused.
Do it again.

No, stop.

No.

Hit me.

You're crazy.

Where shall I hit you? Your face.

Here, hit me.

No, it hurts.

No, it hurts a lot here. You hit me
and I strike back with the knife.

Hit his shoulder...

- It's stupid, it hurts!
- I'm sorry, but...

I think I'd be better off
sitting with them,

it sure is less stupid.

I am just kidding!

Sorry, I was confused.

It's a dream, you really were confused.
It's wonderful

what's happening to us.

What will you eat?

Well, give me...
I am confused too.

A slice of comté, please.

Yes.

This goat cheese will suit you too.

Here it is.

You are beautiful.

Thanks, it'll be fine, thank you.

Please!

It is now time

for self-criticism.

Who has behaved the worst
this past year?

Yoshi will tell us who is the one

who aged the most disgracefully,

and who deserves his peers' contempt.

Who wants to start?

Come on.

Louki?

Well, this year...

was kind of special,
in a way I didn't expect.

I was lucky

that I had a retrospective.

- It took place in Dallas...
- No, no.

Self-criticism, please.

- So what?
- So...

Criticize yourself.

Who's next? Jacques?

Yes, but objectively speaking...
No, I don't see...

No nothing.

Listen...

Do you need some help?

Why?
Why should I need help?

I have absolutely nothing to...

- No, it's not true!
- Absolutely.

You're lying to yourself.

Jacques don't you realize,
you're a bad person. You are mean!

You are not mean but you are hypocrites.
This is what you are.

Well, that's it.

Your turn, Enzo.

Come on, get started.

Last year
was just cowardice for me.

I reached peaks of selfishness.
However...

I went along with all sorts of meanness.

It's terrible, terrible.

Okay, well..

Jeff, come on, please..

raise the standard, because...

It's about me, in a brasserie,
not far from here.

Every three days, I get a croissant,
and the guy never recognizes me.

It is...

And so what...?

That is all, I am done.

Me, I am unpleasant.

It must be my face,

or its shape,

or my expressions.

The first time
I saw my face in a mirror,

I immediately saw that objectively

it was unfriendly.

I then decided to adopt
the head of my face,

I did it on purpose,

I cast a chill, and I liked it.

Who started, I don't know.

Maybe since I found myself unpleasant,
I then decided to become...

Yeah.

Can I let you close the place?

Goodbye, Bertrand.

Good bye, my little Clément.

Have a good day!

- See you tonight.
- Alright, alright.

You fooled us!

No!

I almost believed your bullshit.

Actually, I am convinced
that you love yourself!

You too talk rubbish.

I've always applauded you.

Yes, but everybody knows
that I am a schmuck.

It's written on my forehead.

I haven't said something smart
in 30 years and without any effort!

This is no surprise.
Nothing new here.

It's as if suddenly
you'd like to play, say for instance,

centre-forward, whereas you've been
hired as a goalkeeper, you see!

- It's soccer, a goalkeeper, no?
- Yes, soccer.

Soccer,
the game with your feet.

I never understood anything
about soccer.

- You understand perfectly!
- No.

You just don't like soccer.
That's all.

No. I always had a problem
with soccer.

It's not that you have a problem
with soccer.

You don't like it. Period!

You don't have a problem with soccer!

As if there was soccer on one side,

and yourself on the other,

head-to-head between giants,

a confrontation of titans!

To my left, soccer!

And to my right, Pierre-Henri Darmanin.

Ding! First round.

Stop.

Maestro, your verdict.

Who aged the most disgracefully?

Everybody won,

and everybody lost.

Age is in your mind.

Bravo!

It's genius.

- Ever read a book called...
- A book by Cartier Bresson?

- The Zen Bowman.
- What?

The Zen bowman.

The decisive moment,
You know what the decisive moment is?

Do you see what it is?

Move away, Édouard,
there might be some lime.

Ok, I move away.

Careful, safety distances.
Wait, I cordon off the scene.

Go, go, go.

This is it, this is it.

This is what we want.
Right now, we want that, got it?

Did you hurt yourself?

New finger please! Finger replacement!

Let us go!

Have you seen it?

Look at the two halves.
Look at the two halves of the lime.

It is exactly,
they're exactly the same.

Why? Why?

Because you cut it.

Because I did it at the decisive moment!

The zen bowman, my friend.

Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!

Careful with the tie,
you could stain it.

It must be worth a minimum wage.

A little respect for the dough!

You piss me off!

You really take me for a caricature.

I don't give a shit!
I don't give a shit about it.

Look...

Oh!

He's gonna cut himself.

Olé!

Toro, toro.

I can do stupid things too,
I can mess around!

Just like you.

Dough, dough,
always the dough.

Haven't all of you
taken advantage of it?

What are you complaining about? When
the repo man was there, what did you do?

Hello Pierre-Henri!

It is true.

- Hello, Pierre-Henri, it's true.
- Fine.

And, on top of it, so that you know
I wipe out the debt!

Pierre-Henri, it's very convenient.
You're helpful for those matters.

Did you go to the grocery store lately?
Or a while ago?

Oh, I was 32, 33.

No, I am talking
last week!

How do you recognize a Mexican?

The whistling.

This is how Mexicans cross borders.

They set up decoys.
The trick with the thumb,

this is the wrong tunnel.

I met a guy there...

A guy with a lot of scars,
he belongs to the cartel.

They have scars,

not to be confused
with age wrinkles.

That's why you may get confused.

You can insult a guy. No, you can
have respect for a very old man.

who actually doesn't belong
to the cartel? You see.

Well, I'm leaving.

I am sorry.

Excuse me, I can't take it anymore.

Hello?

Where are you?

- No, it's been cancelled.
- Slacker!

What?

Okay, I'll join you!

Where are you having lunch?

- Nice, uh?
- He's great.

- He's great.
- Yes, a great guy.

He's got something.

Between Édouard and myself,
who would you choose?

As a human being?

I would hesitate,

but I would choose him.

Because... It's not that...

I like to have drinks with you.

Yeah?

But...

There is a something.

- There is...
- Something about him.

You see?

That thing.

Bravo!

Well done!

Don't you wanna go?

No...

Why?

Because I don't feel like it.

It's actually quite simple.

Yeah.

I don't feel like it.

But since when?

I think that
I never really wanted to go.

I feel free today.

I am not renouncing,
it's a choice.

It is still a movement,

but a motionless movement.

They're the most beautiful.

It is probably

what is called fulfillment.

To feel really well at home,

within oneself.

This is not quietness.

Oh, no, no!

I hate the word quietness.
Quietness...

It has a quiet child side to it,

a child afraid of being punished.

Be quiet, eh!

Poor idiot! No.

I am not a quiet man.

I'm not afraid of being punished.

But they are your friends however.

Yes.

But, I don't like them anymore.

Who votes for the grant

to Yoshi for one more year?

Come on,
hands up, please!

Raise your hands.

Good, very good!

Pierre-Henri? Oh!

Pierre-Henri? It's your turn!

Well, listen...

What's the matter with you?

What?

We've been doing it for years...

Why do you do that?
This is ridiculous!

Listen, boys,

it won't be possible this year,
I am sorry.

I can't help it.

I promised the children I'd build
a swimming pool for them in Ramatuelle.

Well...

What's that got to do with it?

They don't come anymore.
They never come, that's all.

It's not the pool that will cancel
the grant. This is ludicrous.

You're not going to let us down?

It's just disgusting.

Well, listen.
Frankly, please.

- Do you agree?
- Stop messing around.

Come on, get a hold of yourself!

Okay, fine,
we are going to renew the grant.

There you go.

Launched again... One more year!

Hey, He's not a toy...

How much does this cost?

Same thing as last year?

It is pathetic.

Come on, it's okay.

What? Stop!
What's the matter with you?

Stop it.
I'll take care of it.

- Don't worry.
- What?

No, it's okay.

What do you want?
I don't get it anymore.

- What's happening?
- I don't get it either.

You don't interest me.

It's not a question of you being
interested or not, I really don't care.

- What do you mean?
- Money...

- What?
- Your dirty money there...

Dirty money?

- Yoshi is worth more than that.
- What's the story here?

- That dough...
- What's with my dough?

Nothing, you see, my dough,
my money, I earn it.

And I don't?
I don't earn my dough?

- Mine is clean money.
- You're joking, clean money?

- Oh Yeah! My money is clean.
- What are you talking about?

What does that mean?

- Come on, we all know it well...
- What?

Where does your money come from?

It comes from my earnings!
What do you mean?

It comes from your father!

Not at all!
What are you talking about?

In the forties!

Didn't he supply half of the aluminum
of the Third Reich?

It was a lot more complicated.
The story...

It's not true. He has...
It is not true.

It is not true..

I wish I could have seen you
during the war.

What do you think you'd have been?
A hero, and all sorts of things?

With what you're doing now,
no, not really!

So...

The buffoon, we all know where he is.
Well...

Shitty sculptor!

Oh, yeah!

Louki...

Screw you!

Louki, you're crazy.

Stop, will you!

Let's go outside,
I'll explain a few things to you.

Stop it!

Stop!

Stop, for God's sake, will you?

Stay put!

Pierre-Henri! Calm down!

Hey, listen, he pisses me off!

How's everything?

Are you leaving?

Why isn't Benoit here?

Stop playing, please.

My keys...

Hey, super!

What?

Great job!

Yeah.

It's quite some work.

I'm truly blown away.

Who takes the bill?

- Sorry?
- The bill.

GENTLEMEN

And then,
we don't know how it stands,

how it is built.

I always make one move.

I am trying to take this one, you see?

When it is finished,

it'll be cool.

You still have the...

I made one myself, when at school,

with pens.

I can't because of the kitchen.

I give a discount on the daube,

but I can't on the lobster.

I didn't touch the lobster, sorry.

I can come and pay you during the week.

No one comes and pays during the week.

No one.

Would you have presented the bill
to Michael if he had come?

I probably have a bounced cheque,
a credit card with no credit!

Chateau Giscours 2011!

6 bottles? This is what we had.

This is what you ordered.

The sixth one is still opened.

- Who's speaking? Who is this?
- It's me.

It's me, it's me, it's me.

It's me! You never know who it is.

It's never the same.

Where are you going?

I'm going to get some cash,
they don't accept cards here!

No, I accept credit cards,
I even accept meal vouchers!

You're not one to run away
when the bill arrives.

I didn't come from home.

I don't have anything with me.

I'm staying at my mother's.

She is 100 years old.

She's been coughing all night.

No one knows how long it's gonna last.

None of those bastards agree
with each other.

Why didn't you say anything?

That disgusts me.

I don't wanna talk about it.

Real life doesn't interest me.

Enzo!

Come on.

Run!

Happy man!

Ah! You're here.
I wanted to say goodbye.

Give me back my watch, and I'm off.

Please, quickly!

My watch, you know.

The one I lent you... Okay.

You give it back to me, and I'll go.
I am a bit...

Ah, no! Please stop!

I am not joking, I am really...

What are you talking about?

The watch I lent you a moment ago.

We played a little, it was funny.

Now, I don't have time anymore.
Give me my watch, and it's over.

What's the matter? You want to...

Have I done something wrong?

I was waiting for the ring.
I don't know.

Then there were the trips,
we talked about weekends.

Trouville, Deauville,

Honfleur.

We talked about that, so I broke up,

I told my boyfriend a while ago,
I texted him,

and he read it. That is it.

You shouldn't do that.
It was a game.

How did he take it?

I am joking.

Don't be like that.

I know I'm ridiculous.

I am of the ridiculous kind.

I shouldn't be doing things like that,

I don't know what's going on with me.

But because I simply like you,

I know the difference and all that,
I know very well.

It's not because life is not elegant
that you have to behave like it.

Keep the watch, I am leaving.

I'll have fond memories of you.
Goodbye.

At least give me your phone number.

When do you work here?

- Which day?
- I don't work here, I'm an extra.

This is the problem.

- Sir!
- Yes.

Thank you.

You're okay?

Keep it, please!

No.

We'll meet again?

- No, we won't
- Can I kiss your hand, just your hand?

No, that's it.

It's okay.

I am not a stalker, you know?

Okay, just a little.

But no more than that.

Don't threaten me with a knife.

Ah, my watch, it's back.

Better take it and keep it safe.

It is nice.
Too bad you don't want to keep it.

I have to go, I'm sorry.

Thanks for everything.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

What is this?

300 euros for the pianist!

Did you charge for the bulbs?
And the wearing out of the seats?

You should have put the radio on?

We'd have been less pissed off
than with this weirdo.

I can understand times are hard,

but you counted eight daube,

we only had seven.

Did you notice Michael didn't show up?

Dead people eat here,
but it doesn't matter to you.

Okay,

I'll pay for the daube.

You see, at least

if you had put leeks vinaigrette,

though there weren't any,
I'd have smiled.

Leeks vinaigrette, 12 euros.

As if I had met an old friend again.
You should do what people like.

But there,

the pianist,

the pianist!

Not a matter of money.

Two gypsies and an accordion,

with passion in their eyes, great!

But this guy,

who's clearly bored shitless,
and bored us too.

The domino effect.

He hates music... he hates people.

Why do I go on shouting for no reason?

I don't know why.

If everyone agrees

that nothing matters anymore,

to deliberately scupper oneself,

I don't see why

I should continue waffling on.

That is it.

I am not destined to be

the Keeper of the Flame.

Gentlemen...

Goodbye.

Gentlemen...

What is this moustache?

Hitler or Groucho?

It's just to make people laugh.

You did.

I would fancy a drink somewhere else.

Had you planned anything?

Where are you going?

Nowhere really.

Can I come with you?

Let's go and have a drink in this bar.

That's not a bar, it's a pharmacy.

It's not the most lively street
in Paris.

Not yet.