A forza di sberle (1974) - full transcript

Italian singer and actor Don Backy and b-movie icon George Eastman unite together for a comedy full of action, witty and - punches.

foodval.com - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
---
Hey, Beanpole,
do you like kebab?

Who is he,
a friend of yours?

What are you talking about, man.

It's a dish. Made from meat,
onions, tomatoes,

chili pepper, and yogurt too.

I don't like pepper.
I like sweet things.

Suit yourself.

Is this your first time
in Istanbul?

Yes, it's my first time.
But, my grandfather lived here,

so I know a few things
about Istanbul.

All hands on deck!



All hands on deck!

Everyone, listen carefully.

The dockworkers say that
they refuse to unload the ship.

The ship needs to be unloaded
by this evening,

otherwise it'll cost me 24 hours!

So what?
That's not our concern!

Anyone who helps unload the ship
before midnight

will get a clean 500 from me!

Come on, sooner we
get over with this, the better.

Hang on, Shrimp.
Unloading a ship is a tough job.

How about we raise our price?

You're right, my friend.

We demand 800!

600, and I won't pay a single
penny more!



We want a raise!

600. This is good money,
and you know it!

We'll do it for 1000!

Alright, whatever you say.
Just get on with it!

Come on, my friend.

If I ever become an actor,
you can be my manager.

Shut up and let's go.

And you, don't get in our way!

I don't need you any more,
off you go!

You bastards!

You're messing
with our livelihood!

How can you do this to us!

Stop doing that!

Leave this place, at once!

Hey, what's going on here?

No idea.

What's the commotion?

They refuse to give us
our fair pay.

They lowered our wages.

That's why we're on strike!

Hear that?

I did.

I think maybe they're right,

if they're not being paid fairly.

What do we do, then?

We'll do like my grandfather
and load everything back to the ship.

God damn your grandfather!

He's nothing but trouble.

Don't worry, friends.
It will be alright.

One for all,
and all for one!

Hang tight!

What do you think you're doing!

Putting it all back.

That's what
Beanpole's grandfather wanted.

Stop talking and get a move on.

Stop complaining,
it's too heavy!

Off you go!

Watch out!
You stepped on my foot.

Then don't stand underfoot!

What's up, why'd you stop?

I need a break.

Hey, you two!

What are you trying to do?

Why are you loading it all back!

As you wish, captain.

You idiots!

Are you taking the piss!

You'll pay for this.

You, over there!

Show them what's what.

Beat them up, and I'll pay you
and give you free booze!

There you go!

Come on!

Come on, suckers.

God damn you two!

And damn me for letting you two
on board!

You'll go to prison for this!

No one can disobey my orders
on this ship!

Have you gone mad?

- Calm down, Captain.
- What do you mean, "calm down"!

What a cute baby.

So, we've finally been fired.

We have no money
and nowhere to go.

But, we'll find a way, right?

If only we had something to eat.

Why'd you have to remind that?

Hold on a second.

I know where we can
feed ourselves.

It's not a bad idea.

They were nice to me
the last time.

And he has a beautiful daughter.
We were to get married.

You and the owner?

During my first time here,
I was thrown off ship

for smoking
in a "no smoking" area.

You think that's bad?
I was caught drinking in a tanker.

Then a chopper arrived
in the middle of the sea

and took me away.

I hadn't eaten in days,
I was about to eat my own shoes.

I was passing by that restaurant,
by chance.

I went inside and ate the best
meal of my entire life,

I'm not exaggerating.

Then I couldn't pay for it.

But they let me
wash the dishes instead.

What a story.

You ever wash dishes?

That's nothing to me.

- Let's go.
- Alright.

Be reasonable, darling.

I'm a man of my word.

I always keep my promise.

I wasn't planning on
breaking out of prison.

- It just happened that way.
- I see.

I know you.

You haven't changed in two years.

Except for this friend
who can't stop eating.

Look here, lady.
It's true that I eat a lot,

but we're paying for it...

I'm sorry.

It was an accident.

You're being cruel to me.
Look, I've come back, after all.

Yes, you came back.

But for what!

You told me you'd take me
to America,

that we'd travel the world
together. Then you left me here

and ran away!

At least I didn't leave you
hanging with a baby!

If we had to take care
of a child too,

then we'd have no other choice
but to start begging.

- Is it really that bad?
- Definitely.

It seems like you're not getting
enough customers here.

We haven't been getting
a single customer!

A month ago, a Chinese restaurant
opened up across from us.

Since then, we haven't been
getting any business.

Damn them! They've been trying
to ruin our business

ever since they opened
their restaurant.

They're trying to
take over our business.

Whenever we get some customers,
one of their guys comes here

and tries to steal them away.

You can do something about that.
You should stop crying

and fight back.

I'm not crying. It's because
I'm cutting onions!

Even if I have two freeloaders
for customers,

I have to prepare food for them.

I'm sorry but, have you tried
hiring some goons of your own?

Are you out of your mind?

I can hardly cover
my own expenses as it is.

- Excuse him, he's not very sharp.
- I can tell.

- It's not hard to tell.
- Quite so.

Enough of that.

- Darling, you love cinema, right?
- Yes.

What about adventure films?

She loves comedies.

Whatever. There's always a moment
towards the end

- where it all seems lost.
- Yes?

But at that moment the cavalry
arrives to save the day.

We happen to be the cavalry.

You must be the
banana eating sort of cavalry.

How about we check out that
Chinese restaurant?

- What do you say?
- Have you lost it?

They eat snake, rat,
cat and dog meat.

We're not used to it,
it'll give us cramps.

Let's eat in the same place.

Fine, as you wish.

Those fools are going
to the other restaurant.

Let's make them lose
their appetites.

Welcome, gentlemen!

Is it just the 3 of you?

- It's just us. So what?
- Please, have a seat.

Would you like some fruit?

Anything else?

What is it that you do?

I beat up fools.

How do you mean?

It means...
How did you not understand!

What a fool you are!

You punks! It was easy
to have it your way

while we were not here!

- Shrimp, my love!
- Please, stop this!

My darling! Are you alright?

No, Not that one!

I make my living with that!
Stop!

Shrimp! My darling, my love.

Please, wake up.

- Let me go!
- Darling, don't worry, I'm with you.

Our beef has become
a boxing glove.

Don't worry, you're not wounded.

Wait for me, my friend!
I'm coming to save you!

Just hold on, I'm almost there!

What can I do with this?

There's no meat left on it.

Give it to the dogs.
They too have to make a living.

What a kidder you are.

Watch out!

Where did these guys come from!

All my hard work
is being ruined!

You can do it, Shrimp!

It's all black!
I can't see!

- I can't see!
- Just you wait, there's more to come.

Come this way.
There's a seat here.

- Help me, for the love of God!
- Calm down...

Help is on the way.

Stop!
I give up.

Finally, you've come to your senses!

No! Not the stall!

It was brand new!
It's ruined!

Guys, I feel exhausted
after all this.

- But, you're not finished.
- We're not afraid!

I didn't mean it that way.

You're not planning to leave my shop
looking like this, right?

- Hi, babe.
- Hello.

- Welcome.
- Hello.

What's up?

How's business?

Not bad.

Now, let's think about it...

If it goes like this,

soon we'll become rich
and have nothing to worry about.

Tell her the truth, Shrimp.

We've only had two people
come in since this morning.

And one of them
was the taxman.

Then I see only one way out for us:

We'll bring back the customers
they've stolen from us.

- The receipt for table 21.
- Fine.

- Did they try the Beijing duck?
- Yes.

What's up?

Those guys from the other restaurant
are here. I can throw them out.

I don't want any trouble here.

- As you wish.
- But, keep an eye on them.

Alright?

Tell my daughter
to be careful, too.

Don't let them know
that we're watching them.

Be on the lookout.

Don't worry, sir.

I'm sorry.

You idiot!

Sorry, sir.

These stamps are delicate objects.

Even the slightest scratch
could ruin them entirely.

You're eating like a pig.

Let me taste a bit of
what you're having.

It's truly delicious!

What did you do!
You're disgusting.

- No more beans for you!
- But darling, I didn't do anything.

It wasn't me.
Really!

Must be someone else.

That must be it.

I swear I didn't do it.
Let's continue.

Have a seat.

It wasn't me.

Definitely not me.

It's fine.
Let's continue.

- You idiot! Everyone's looking at us!
- But it wasn't me!

I'm still hungry.

Please, get down from there.

But darling, we can't let this food
go to waste.

- That's it! We're getting a divorce!
- Thank God! Finally.

Please, everyone calm down.

Everyone have a seat.

It's alright!

It's alright.

- This is a travesty!
- What's going on here!

None of this is legal!

If I were you, I'd eat in that
other restaurant,

on the other side of the street.

The food they serve tastes
so much better

and it's cheaper too!

Waiter!
Bring us the cheque.

What kind of food is this?

It was you!

I saw it all.

You're the cause
of all this trouble!

I'll call the cops!
They'll arrest you.

You're maniacs, both of you!

- You idiots!
- What did you call me?

Let me explain.

While my granddad was here,

he wrote a letter
to his newborn son.

- You mean, to your father?
- Yes.

He told him about his life.

That letter is like
holy scripture for me.

In that letter grandfather says:

"If when you look at a woman
you hear the sound of violins,

don't think twice and marry her!"

I see.

- That's how it is.
- What if you hear an orchestra?

What then?

He doesn't say anything
about that.

Only violins.

Does your granddad teach
any other life lessons?

Sure, plenty.

I always carry that letter
with me.

- Whenever something comes up...
- You consult the letter.

- That's right.
- Ridiculous.

I'm not kidding, I can show
the letter to you.

Stop talking nonsense!

Here it is.

I dropped it.

Let me pick it up.

Excuse us, but you're standing
in the wrong place.

Be careful.

I said be careful!

Right on, some appetizer
to start,

lamb roast,

fried potatoes and raki.

Fill it up!

We can't go on like this.

We have to expand.

- We've had to turn back
so many customers. - So what?

I have an idea.

This month, I'll be done with
the instalments for this place.

We can buy the upper floor, too.

We can turn it all into
one big restaurant.

- Of course!
- Sure you can, but that's not all.

You'd need cash for the
renovations as well.

I can handle it. I've been
saving up my entire life.

It's easy to spend
what you don't have.

Maybe we can't afford it all,

but we could ask the bank
for a loan.

We'll show this business
as our collateral.

Got it?

- Not a bad idea.
- Of course!

Hello, young lady.

We wanted to talk with
the manager.

Please wait here.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

How can I help?

We want to expand
our business.

Can we take out a loan?

Not a big loan.

Around 15000 would suffice.

That would be enough.

You can have it!

I'll pay whatever you want!
Please, don't shoot.

I have a wife and kids.

Calm down.

- It's just a loan.
- Hands up!

So that's why...

This is a robbery!

Really?
I thought it was a revolution.

Shut up!
Come this way.

Hurry up!

What should we do?

The letter.

The letter?
What are you on about?

From my grandfather.

What does it say?

This is none of our business.

This is a disaster!

Mr. Manager.

Mr. Manager.
Where were we...

Don't worry about us.
We can go to another bank.

Naturally. I think you should
rest now, after all that.

Goodbye.

- The short guy had a beard.
- No, it was the other way around!

Don't speak all at once,
I can't understand anything!

What's up?
How's it going?

We haven't made much progress.

Each witness
says something different.

I'm confused.

Don't worry, you'll get there.

Let's go over it...

Mr. Inspector.
Mr. Inspector!

I've been waiting for you
for an hour.

How can you treat a taxpayer
this way!

I understand.

But, you have to understand, too.

The police's job
is to serve the public. Right?

Please, say something, answer me!

Lady, of course we're trying
to do our job,

to fulfil our duty to pretty
taxpaying ladies like yourself.

You won't sweet talk your way
out of this, Mr. Inspector!

I'm asking you once again,

I need police protection
around my house.

Lady, do you expect us
to watch your house all day

as if we had nothing else to do!

Don't put it that way.

You're mistaken, Mr. Inspector.

Remember that incident
with the kid?

I'd warned you about it.

- But, this is different.
- No, it isn't!

You're making a mistake.
Please, listen to me! I beg you!

I saw it in my dream,
Mr. Inspector.

The robbers came through
the ceiling, with parachutes.

Why won't you believe me!

- Please, do something!
- Alright, I'll see what I can do.

Please, enough of this.
Go, now. Goodbye!

- Mr. Inspector.
- What?

What is it?

- I see that lady was here again.
- God damn that woman!

I'm about to lose my mind.

She turned out
to be right, once.

But, tell me,

am I to listen to people's dreams
all day, just because of that?

- Is that my job here?
- You're right about that.

Some senile fool sees a crime
being committed in her dream,

then she wants me to
make an arrest!

I'm about to lose it!

What did she dream about
this time around?

She saw some robbers descend
from the sky with parachutes,

like the rain!

Silence!
Enough!

Silence!

I'm listening, Mr. Manager.

I think the one on the right
had a mouth like this.

I'm sure of it.

You got off easy, Captain.
Don't mess with the strikers again.

Thank you for your help.

I'd recognise him anywhere.
It was this guy.

- No, it was this guy!
- Please, calm down.

Mr. Inspector, I think we've
identified the robbers.

They must resemble
these sketches.

Yes, we're sure.

You don't say...
I know these guys.

- You do?
- They worked on my ship.

I fired them both.

- I even filed a complaint because
they caused a riot. - Really?

The crew called them
"Beanpole" and "Shrimp".

Sure, I know them.

What did they do?

They robbed a bank.

You don't say...

They're nothing but trouble.
I should've known...

Alright.
Listen.

Make more copies of these
and post them all around.

They can't hide!

- Captain, come with me.
- Alright, sir.

Won't the Chinese find us here?

No, they send their goons
to do all the work for them.

Alright, it's a deal.

Don't worry, we'll have
some goons of our own.

Goodbye.

We'll make such a happy couple.
You'll see.

- Wait a minute.
- Hello.

Are you the ones they call
"Beanpole" and "Shrimp"?

- Yes, that's us.
- You're coming with us.

- But, why?
- You'll see why at the station.

Let's go.

Stop fooling around
and tell us the truth!

You still haven't solved the case?

They insist that
they had nothing to do with it.

That's right.
We didn't do anything.

We're actually upstanding citizens.

- Exactly.
- Sure, I know.

But your captain told us
a whole different story.

- Excuse me a minute.
- Hands off!

Tell me, what is it that you do?

How do you make a living?

Let me tell you, instead.

By stealing and robbing banks.

Don't deny it!
We know that it was you.

Plenty of witnesses
have identified you.

Then perhaps they need glasses.

You're so funny.

Throw them inside!

Maybe that will knock some sense
into you.

Let's see if you can continue
with your jokes inside.

We can't joke inside.
We know that.

Enough!
Take them away, right now!

I've had enough of them.

Come on, get up!

You scoundrels...

Make way.

- Get me the prosecutor.
- At once, sir.

Tell him that
we've got the robbers.

- This will be over soon.
- Of course, sir.

There's a snitch on the inside.

Put them in different cells.
Keep your eyes open!

Mr. Inspector!

Mr. Inspector.

Mr. Inspector,

the protection around my house
that you promised me hasn't arrived.

You made a promise to me.

Don't worry, we're trying
to figure out a way

to install a tank on your roof.

I didn't come here
to hear you mock me!

I've seen it all in my dream,
again!

I'll send two cops
to spend the night with you.

- That would be great. Make sure
they're honest cops. - Of course...

I'm still a virgin. I wouldn't
want people to get the wrong idea.

Of course, dear lady.
Don't you worry about that.

Goodbye.

- Enough!
- Enough!

I've had enough of
that ball of yours.

And I've had enough of
your harmonica.

You've been at it for hours.

Why are you so uptight?

So what if I play my harmonica?

Don't you realise
what's going on?

We're in jail, even though
we did nothing wrong.

Even my lover doesn't know
what's happened to me.

I can't do anything,
my hands are tied,

and I have to sit here
and watch you play that thing!

Could be worse.

If you were blind, you wouldn't
be able to watch that.

I don't understand. Why did they
mistake you for the robbers?

Didn't you say anything
to defend yourselves?

We told them we were innocent,
but they didn't believe us.

Let's not dwell on that.
It's good that you've found us.

They think we're accomplices
of the robbers,

that we went there before them
to cause confusion.

Such a shame that once people
see our faces,

they can never forget about them.

- Not because we're handsome, though.
- Can't you find us a lawyer?

Of course I will, but the hearing
is in a month.

And we're closing down
the restaurant in 10 days.

Business has gone south again?

But we can't do anything
about it, either.

You're right.

After you disappeared,
those goons came back.

That damn Chinaman
is looking forward to the day

that we're out of business.

I wish we could give him
another lesson!

Time's up.

We'll be waiting.

Time's up, I'll take my leave.

I wish I could kiss you
right now.

But, prison rules, you know...

Hey buddy, do you smell
something burning?

Come close!

Maybe there's a leak somewhere?

These cables look rather old.

God forbid.

You're right, they look old.

I'll tell the warden
to get them replaced.

Why are we hopping around?

You fool, we're doing sports.

We need to exercise our muscles.

But my granddad said nothing
of this sort in his letter.

Don't start with
your granddad again!

Does the letter say how we're
supposed to get out of here?

Tell me about that.

What's going on here?

What do you want from me?

They're out to get him.

Did you think we'd forget
about you in prison?

Here's a present for you,
compliments of the Rookie!

Easy there.

Aren't you ashamed to hit
an old man?

I think Ahmet will kill
that big guy for this.

Shut up!

Want to bet?

Fine.

Any other betters?

Come on, Beanpole,
you can do it!

- I want to place a bet too.
- Sure.

Everyone place your bets
before the fight is over!

Keep going, Beanpole!

How's it look?

It's all good, keep going.

- I think the tall guy will win.
- Alright.

Hey there!

Don't be a prick.
This is a friendly fight.

Behave yourself!

Shrimp!
Come, this way!

There he is.

What's up, old man?

How are you?

Is that you two?

Look, what's next for you,
if the Rookie sent someone here

to have you killed?

If you're not safe
even in a prison cell,

that means you're in trouble.

You're right.

I thought I could get rid of them
by going to jail.

But it didn't work out.

The Rookie's arm reaches far,
it seems.

That arm is broken in six places.
The foot, too.

We're not here just for small talk,
but to talk business.

I see.

You've saved me from certain death.
I'm in your debt.

What can you do?
All 3 of us are stuck here.

I can still arrange something
for you.

The Rookie, that bastard,

keeps tabs on everyone.

He must have dirt on you too,
have no doubt.

But please,

don't let him know that
I told you all this,

or he will end us all.

You don't say.

I would've liked to have a talk
with this guy, outside.

Yes...

Let me get this straight, old man.

He's outside, and we're inside.

So, he can do with us
as he pleases.

We have to come up
with a solution.

I can help you two escape
this place.

No, listen, I'm not crazy.

Come close.

I used to be in charge of
the bathhouse.

I made a key for the grating there.

I've hidden that key.

It's inside the wall,
by one of the basins.

The hard part is getting that key

- without anyone noticing.
- Time's up!

Alright, we're coming.

Goodbye, Ismail.
See you later.

Get well soon.

Look who's here.

What's up?

You like that?

You naughty boy.

Scream all you want.

- Hurry up, there's a line.
- But, we've just got in!

Since he's so tall, it takes him
longer to get clean.

Pass me the soap.

Hey, give me that soap.

- But, I've just started washing myself.
- Shut up and give it to me.

You're such a headache.

- Go get it.
- Get it yourself!

You're getting on my nerves.
I said, go get it!

Beanpole, I think I've got it!

That's great, hurry up!

It's done. Let's go,
before anyone notices we're gone.

Go on.

Alright, let's go.

This mosque is one of the most
magnificent structures in the city.

It was commissioned by Sultan Ahmed,
who was the ruler at the time.

That archway rests on
the two domes you see before you.

It's a unique structure
in the history of architecture.

Pay attention to the windows
around the dome as well.

There's a huge number of them.

I'll save you the trouble
of counting:

there are 260 of those windows
mounted there.

The light that trickles in
from those windows

forms magical shapes
inside the structure,

as you will also see.

However you look at it,
it's a true work of art.

I'll now be silent in
front of its majesty

and leave you to contemplate.

There's a naked guy behind me.

No, there are two.

You can also see
the rich textures of the tiles.

Especially the blue ones.
Hence its name, the "Blue Mosque".

It's a true marvel.

I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen.

There's been a change
in our schedule.

- We're so handsome.
- Cut the crap.

- What do we do now?
- Don't know.

We have to get hold
of a car.

- Can you handle that?
- Not sure.

I've never stolen a car before.

This time, we have to.

I'm sorry, darling.

I hope I wasn't too late.

Now, let's go home...

The car.
Where is it?

Didn't I come here with the car?
Tell me.

Check the glove compartment.

- There's a chequebook, and a...
- A chequebook?

Damn it.
Couldn't it be just some money.

Check this out.
There's a phone token.

That's great!
We can use that.

What else is there?

Driving license.

Does he have a beard
in the photo?

If he has a beard, it's you.
If not, it's me.

What do we have here?

A bottle of whiskey.

A bottle of whiskey? Damn it!
What good is that to us?

Couldn't it be something useful...

What are you doing!

I always tell you, you shouldn't drive
on an empty stomach.

Hey, who's that?

What?

A cop.
That's all we needed.

A cop?
Stop yanking my chain.

Why would a cop
be following us?

You idiot.

I think this is the end.

It's back to prison for us.

Pull over.

That's fine.

License, please.

I'm talking to you.

Give it here.

- That's not you in the photo.
- It isn't?

No, it isn't.

Hand me my license, then.
Go on.

I'm afraid it was in
your trouser's pocket.

That's a possibility.
It was in my pocket.

We went swimming, you see,

but when we came back,
our clothes weren't there.

You know how it is.

I see, but, you should have
been more careful.

We'll be careful, sir.
You can be sure of that.

We've learnt our lesson.
Don't worry.

Fine, but your car
is also covered in dirt.

You can hardly read the plates.
Make sure to clean it ASAP.

So long.

I've told you a million times
to keep the car clean.

But you don't listen...

Hello.

Sure.
Yes.

Darling.

It's your aunt.

- My aunt?
- Correct. She wants to talk.

I'm listening.

Yes.

Yes, dear auntie.

What?
You gave birth to twins?

I'm happy for you.

What're you on about?

What twins are you talking about?

I see.
There's a cop with you, right?

Good, listen.

Tell me if you understand,
then you can answer me.

"Aslan" and "Kaplan".
Got it?

Yes, auntie.
Excellent.

We're as naked as Adam,
we don't even have underwear.

We need clothes and money.

Let's meet at 10 o'clock
on the lovers hill.

We'll arrive in a yellow car.

Make sure you're not followed,
we don't want to go back to prison.

What were they called?

Aslan and Kaplan.

They're beautiful names, auntie.

But, I would've chosen
different names.

Alright, as you wish.

Yes, I understand, auntie.

Don't you worry about that.
Goodbye.

Enough, cut it short.

Aslan and Kaplan.

I already feel sorry for them.

My father's name was Aslan, too.

Of course!
Aslan is a great name.

I'll go make some coffee,
it's on the house.

We've been under surveillance
ever since you got arrested.

We don't know
what to do.

Have you gotten a hold
of my girl?

This is no time
to talk about your girl!

Look,

we have to find the real robbers
to clear our names.

No matter the cost.

Babe!
Have you brought my harmonica?

It's in your pocket.

Beanpole,

I've had enough of you
and your harmonica!

We know where to start looking.

- There's someone called "the Rookie".
- The Rookie?

You'd better watch out.
He's the worst.

Don't worry about him.

Our only way out is...

Babe! Have you seen
my grandfather's letter?

This is the third time
that you've interrupted us!

Enough with your granddad
and his letter!

As I was saying,

if we can catch the robbers,
we'll get the reward money.

Then, with that money, we can do
whatever we want.

There's nothing to worry about,
darling.

We don't have enough time!
All this has to be done in 6 days.

- Don't you know?
- Let me tell you a secret.

As long as you're with us,
we can do anything.

He's a fast one,
that kid...

This must be the Rookie's lover.

That's what the kid
at the dockyard said.

Look how she moves...

I wish I could give her
a proper massage.

Would you like anything, sir?

Two coffees for us.

Of course, sir.
How would you like them?

However you like.

I can tell,
you have good taste.

- Thank you.
- And...

Could you introduce us
to the Rookie?

We'd like to pay our respects.

He's not here right now.

But he'll come here, right?

Could you let us know
when he arrives?

I won't need to let you know,
you'll see for yourselves.

Shrimp, that must be him.

He looks like a tough guy.

Waiter, is that the Rookie?

Then, it must be him.

Damn, who the hell is this guy?

If that's not the Rookie,
then I'm Napoleon.

There, that's the Rookie.

This is good.

He's the passionate type.

Let's go.

You go first. I can't stop
myself from laughing, you know.

Good evening.

- How are you?
- If you'd let us...

Have a seat.

- We wanted to...
- You're those two jailbreakers, right?

That's right,
but we're innocent.

We just happened to be there,
and they arrested us.

Cut it short.

What do you want?

We wanted to ask you...

If I can help you find
the real robbers,

then, you can hand them over
to the police. Right?

Is that what you want?

I knew you were a smart man
the moment I laid eyes on you.

But, why did you come to me?

You're the most powerful man
in this city.

Who else could we turn to?

You look crafty,
and you're bold as well.

You can be of use to me.

But, I'm just getting to know you.

I'm not sure if I can trust you.

Come to the Cagaloglu bathhouse
at 2, tomorrow.

A bathhouse?
Lovely!

- Shut up and listen.
- I suggest you be careful.

The cops are on your trail.

No one will disturb you there.

You can talk freely.

What are we to do there?
Will we give our names?

No need for that,
they'll explain everything to you.

- And then?
- You'll see. Goodnight.

Forgive me,

I just wanted to say...

I don't mean no disrespect,
but we have to make this clear.

You're a powerful man
with great influence.

Please, don't just
string us along...

- We have no one else...
- Stop blabbering!

I know very well
who you are.

As my grandfather would say:

"Always speak your mind,
don't babble".

We hope to see you soon.

Good evening.

Welcome.

- Thank you.
- Would you like me to wash you?

Is this whom
we were waiting for?

No, he just wants to help us
get clean. Right?

He must have noticed
your foul stench.

Sure, please,
give him a good scrub.

Watch out!

Trying to pull
a fast one on us?

It seems you've forgotten
to wash your hair!

Nice one, Shrimp!

Now, your turn!

You like that?

You can't find me!

It's the cops!

Nobody move!
Arrest them all.

Is that you?

You're called "Beanpole", right?

It sounds so nice.

You're a real man,
through and through.

I want to meet you so much.

You miss me too?

Beanpole, my love!

Are you talking with that
thieving scum?

The cops are looking for him,
don't you know?

Don't say that, father.
He's innocent.

He's not a bad person.

He's such a good person.

And, he's so tall...

Just my type.

Confucius says:
"The taller the mountain,

the greater the danger."

I'm warning you.

You won't talk to that
weasel again.

It doesn't look good, guys.

My father told me that
they're on to you.

You'd better leave this place.

Don't worry, we still have
4 days to make things right.

That's enough time.

Bring us some soap, a razor,
and some yellow dye.

- We'll become blondes.
- What's your plan?

Our only option is to have a talk
with the big guy, in disguise.

That's madness!

We have to try.
There's one more thing...

I wonder if my lover
will like my new appearance.

- Is she still as tall as I remember?
- This is no time for small talk. Bye.

I can't believe my eyes.
Do you see that?

Our adversary has appeared
right before us.

That's the Rookie's lover.
I'm sure of it.

What're you on about?
I can't see anything.

That girl over there,
don't you see her?

You're right.
She's that dancer.

Finally, you've caught up.

What was she doing
on that boat?

I think that boat must belong
to the Rookie.

I agree, that must be it.

What do you say, Beanpole,
shall we take a closer look?

I don't see why not.

He'll drink up the entire sea
before he starts talking.

He has to talk, he's our ticket
out of this mess.

What if he drowns?

So what if he drowns?
We're not responsible for him.

Let's see what we've caught.

Listen carefully, Rookie.

This will end badly for you if you
don't start talking. We're not kidding.

We just need you
to tell us what you know.

The cops want to
get rid of you, too.

Since you're not exactly
an exemplary citizen.

Start talking.
Who robbed the bank?

They call me the Rookie.
I don't snitch!

I won't talk!

Goodbye, then.

Got a cig?

I don't, but,

this guy does.

Not bad at all.

Give it a tug.

Enough! I beg you!
I'll talk.

I'll tell you
whatever you want.

Please, don't lower me down
into the water again.

Too bad. I'd just started
having fun.

The Hawk was behind
that robbery business.

He's a powerful man,
the mightiest of us all.

He runs his business
from his villa in Izmir.

He always sends out
his stooges to do his work,

that's why
they can never get him.

I think you're just wasting
your time.

No one has ever been able
to get the better of that man.

Thank you for all your help.

We want to give you
something too, in return.

Here you go.

We trust you alright,
but we don't trust ourselves.

You understand, right?

You just sit tight, alright?

So long.

DANGER ON BOARD

I'm not opposed to stealing cars,
as long as we have to do it.

I agree, but, that's not a car.

And, neither of us knows
how to fly.

Let's think of something else.

You're so short sighted.

We can hijack not only the plane
but the pilot as well.

Remember, though, the penalty
for that is quite severe.

Shut up.

Let's go.

- Stop! Don't move!
- What do you want?

Secret Service.

You are to take us to Izmir
right now, or you're in trouble.

- My friend is very sick.
- What does this have to do with me?

By the power bestowed upon me
by the Aviation Corps,

- I command you. Don't resist!
- But...

I have to fly to Ankara,
my lover is waiting.

Stop trying to
weasel out of this.

If you don't do as you're told,
you'll go to jail. Or worse!

I can't.
Please!

Well, since you asked nicely...

What's going on?
We're shaking.

Of course it's shaking, it's
a plane for 2.

- I count 3 people here.
- Shut up and keep driving.

If you'll allow me, I need to call
the control tower

to ask for permission for landing.

No!
No way!

Our mission is top secret,
"mission impossible".

Just land on some clearing.
Got it?

But, I don't know how to do that.
We'll crash!

Let me remind you again:
not a word of this anyone!

Or, we'll blow up
both you and your plane!

No!
I won't say anything.

My love...
Goodbye.

Don't move.

Surround the perimeter.

- Who are you?
- Me?

Why did you land here?
What's on the plane?

I'm innocent!

I was told to land here
by Secret Service agents.

You stay here
and watch the plane.

This gentleman
is coming with us.

This is a mistake!
I was supposed to meet my lover.

I'm a celebrity myself,
you know.

I know many people,
from all over the world.

Sure, sure...
Save your story for the judge.

You're making a mistake.

Take good care of my plane!

Look,

they're having a party inside.

A masked ball, with all the food
and drink you can dream of.

You got the runs again?

What are we waiting for?
I'm done.

Are you crazy?

We need an invitation
and tuxedos to enter.

- You got a tuxedo?
- Are you kidding?

Maybe we can try tomorrow.

Tomorrow is too late.
We have to do something tonight.

Or, they'll lose the restaurant.

- Our delivery has arrived.
- Who?

Invitation and tuxedos.

Halt!
There's been an emergency!

Forgive us for
stopping you like this.

We're doing a survey.
What's your favourite TV show?

This is an important question.

We'll adjust the schedule
accordingly, you see.

It's the middle of the night!
Are you crazy?

We are indeed a bit crazy.

This is an outrage!
What's going on?

Please take off your clothes.

We'll have a good time tonight.

Any night event you organise
turns out great, my love.

- Ask anyone.
- That's all I can do, anyway.

Invitation, please.

What a night, my lady.

Any night we organise
turns out like this.

Didn't you know?

That must be the Hawk.

We need to act.
But, don't let them know we're here.

Wait for me here.

I'll go throw down some plates
and cause a scene.

They'll think I'm crazy
and gather around me.

Then you can take care of
those guys, outside.

Give me a sign
when you're done.

I'll come to you
after you're finished.

Got it?

We'll decide what's next
after we're done with this.

It's not difficult,
we can pull this off.

Remind me, why are we
doing all this?

I'm tired of answering
all your questions!

Hello, kids.
It's good to see you here.

But, to be honest,
I wasn't expecting you tonight.

This is a surprise for me.

Of course we came.

We wouldn't miss this
for the world.

Naturally.
And, thanks for inviting us.

It was my pleasure.

I want to take you somewhere
special, to show my appreciation.

Please.

This way.

This cognac is 100 years old,
for special occasions.

I hope you like it.

I almost forgot,
how are your ladies?

Fine, fine...

- Mine's fine, how about yours?
- Same.

- What is it?
- I'm sorry, sir.

The head waiter said
it was important.

To hell with the head waiter!

- This isn't the time! Get out!
- At once, sir.

I'm sorry, forgive me.

- How clumsy you are...
- I'm sorry, too.

It's hard to find
a decent waiter.

Have I shown you
my Chinese miniatures?

No, we haven't seen them.

That's too bad.

They're very precious.

Priceless.

But first, I'd like you to meet
a friend of mine.

Perhaps you've already met him.

Look, there he is.

I think I've seen him before.

Small world...

I've got bad news for you.

It was foolish of you to
let me live.

Sorry about this.

Did you really think that
two amateurs like you

could get the best of me?

Preposterous.

Wait a minute.

You treat us
as if we're the robbers.

But you know very well
we're not so.

That's why we're here,

to ask you to clear our name
of these accusations.

You understand?

I'll be straightforward.

I know what you're trying to do,
but you're in the wrong place.

They call me "the Hawk".

I didn't get this nickname
for nothing.

I'm a very powerful man,
you see.

And not only here, I have
influence all over the world.

And this person here is
my right hand man.

Of course,
we never had any doubt.

Poor you.

These fools almost caused me
a great deal of trouble.

Listen.

I run a business on
a global scale.

I have no time to waste on
small fish like you.

We're no small fish.

I haven't told you about
my granddad yet.

May I ask who your
grandfather was?

Sure, I'll tell you.

God damn you two!

"Shrimp", or "Beanpole",
or whatever you're called!

You'll find out who
"Beanpole" is soon enough.

Don't you worry about that.

What's going on?

The Hawk always comes up
with the best attractions.

Don't let them leave!
Hold the doors!

Darling, who are these men?

Don't worry, darling.
They're two fools.

I'll give them a lesson.

Anyone got a light?

Give me that.

You naughty boy, you.

Let's make a run for it!

What's the hurry?

I don't know. We want to catch
the last bus.

Good idea.

Stop pointing that gun,
it's not a toy.

Put these two in the freezer!

What will we do now?

Maybe you should ask
your grandfather.

Stop making fun of my granddad.

I've had enough!

Don't get testy.

Dear friends, please accept my
apologies for this incident.

Let's get on with our night
and have some fun.

Life is full of surprises,
after all.

We can't control everything.
But, let's not sour our mood.

The entertainment shall continue.

I hope you weren't startled
by what's happened, darling.

Not at all.

- Cheers.
- Thank you.

Let this be our worst day.

I apologise for the disruption.

I'm afraid you have to
come with me.

You too, sir.

What's this about, darling?

This is absurd.
What's going on?

We installed a microphone
under the sofa in your library.

We heard all that you talked about
with those two runaway sailors.

Nonsense!

Who installed the mic?

This might come as a surprise,
but...

Remember this waiter, the one
you'd often call an idiot?

He's one of ours.

He might look like
a simple man.

But, he's the one that installed
the mic under the sofa.

He's very crafty.

Here's to your health.

Honestly, I'd like to
congratulate you.

But if you think that
this is over, you're mistaken.

Goodbye, darling.

Don't worry,
they can't touch me.

Go find those two sailors.

Hello?

This is Metin, Mr. Inspector.

I'm calling from
the Hawk's house.

You were right, he didn't
turn out to be too bright.

Excellent, excellent.
I'm very pleased.

We've got them all.

This has been
a good hunting party.

It was a good idea to follow
those two sailors.

Only you could've
thought of that, Mr. Inspector.

We'd been following them
since they got off the plane.

And it was worth it,
they surely delivered.

- Good job, thank you.
- Thank you, sir.

I'm proud of you.
Goodbye.

- This calls for a celebration.
- Good job, sir.

Are you alright,
Mr. Inspector?

We've found those two sailors.

Just in time, too.
They were about to freeze.

Call an ambulance, take them
to a hospital right away.

- Alright.
- Take them away.

Finally, you're awake.

Your condition was critical.

- What's going on?
- Let me tell you.

You've been asleep
since yesterday.

Since yesterday?

So, today is the day after.

Is it noon yet?

- What time is it?
- 10 o'clock.

Shrimp.
Shrimp!

Shrimp, wake up!
It's 10 o'clock.

We'll lose the restaurant
by noon!

I'm freezing! I'm like a fish
in a freezer.

I'm freezing...

Help me, Beanpole.
I beg you.

Get me a drink!
Make sure it's hot.

- Take me near the fireplace!
- Alright, calm down.

Stop mumbling
and get a hold of yourself.

We're in the prison clinic.

You're mistaken.
You're heroes.

- Your names were all over
the newspapers. - What?

- Unbelievable...
- Give it here.

I wonder if my lover
has seen this.

"Yesterday, in Izmir,

the police apprehended 'the Hawk',
the crime boss.

The Hawk confessed to
all his crimes.

The police plan to reward
the two sailors who helped them."

Then, it's over!

Yes, we're in the clear.
This is great.

We'll be rewarded, too.

Let's go.

But, we're so far away
from Istanbul.

Doesn't matter.
Let's give it a shot.

- Which way is the airport?
- Move, idiot! We can find it.

Stop!
Where are you going?

You can't go anywhere
looking like that!

We'll manage,
don't worry about us!

We're sorry, but this was a difficult
situation, you understand...

This operation was made possible
thanks to your help.

Of course, I never shy away
from great obstacles.

Everyone knows that,
I'm a celebrity. The ladies love me.

Goodbye.

- Thank you, again.
- You're welcome.

- See you later.
- Farewell.

Call me again if you need me!
I'm ready to help.

Goodbye.

You again!
What are you doing here?

Secret service,
mission impossible. Let's go.

I'm not buying that!
Find a different excuse.

Please, get out of my plane
and use the regular airlines.

Stop that nonsense!

I'll blow your brains out
if you don't take off.

Always the same old threats...

I'll punch you so hard
your face will go flat.

- That sounds different.
- Let's go.

At least let me contact
the control tower in Istanbul.

We can't wait for permission
to land, we're in a hurry!

Drop us in
the middle of the city.

The plane is small,
you can do it.

You're both mad!

How can you land a plane
in the middle of the city?

I won't do that!
You can jump with parachutes.

Parachutes!

Good idea!
Slow down.

What do you mean,
"slow down"?

Just step on the brake!

How can you jump over
the city?

We can jump wherever we want.

If the chute doesn't work,
bring it back, it has a warranty.

Are you really going to jump?
Have you lost your minds?

So long.

Don't forget to
pull on the rope.

Or the parachute won't work!

Shrimp!

What a beauty, right?

It's as if we're on
top of the world.

Just make sure you don't
sit on top of the minarets!

Do what I'm doing.

Look, it's so easy!

Hey, Shrimp.

Can you see the restaurant
from here?

I can't think about that now.

First I need to get my feet
on the ground!

I knew it all along!

The robbers from my dream.
They've come with parachutes!

I've told the inspector,
but he wouldn't believe me!

- Who is this woman?
- Get off! Off you go!

How dare you disturb
innocent people like me!

- Have you no shame?
- Auntie, we didn't do anything.

I'm not your auntie.

I told you to get lost!

Did we have to
run into this hag!

Turn on the lights!

Mr. Inspector, I need help,
I'm in trouble.

Please come, at once!

It's happened
just as I said it would.

The robbers came
with parachutes!

Sure, ma'am.

I'm sure they've come.

With parachutes, sure.

Of course they came.

God help me,
give me strength...

Listen to me.

I'm tired of saying
"I told you so".

Do something about this!

I've seen rats, too,
Mr. Inspector. Millions of them!

They were coming from everywhere!
From the sea, the earth...

This vision must be an ill omen,
Mr. Inspector!

I've said all the prayers I know,
but they wouldn't go away.

Shrimp! Beanpole!
My love...

My love, how tall you are...

Hey...

Hey!

You can't act this way
in front of a father.

Whatever you've done,
it didn't help us.

And, you almost died, my love!

And then...

That damn Chinaman!

He took over our restaurant
without wasting any time.

I can't believe it.

We arrived at 12:10.

We lost everything because
we arrived 10 minutes late.

It's all gone,
our lives are ruined.

Hear that, Beanpole?
Just 10 minutes.

All this because of
10 lousy minutes.

What does Beanpole know?
He'll consult his granddad's letter

and tell us
"everything will be fine."

I wish it was that easy.

Oh, no!

Where is it?
Where is the letter?

Cut it out, man.

That letter can't do anything
for us.

Enough with you, your letter,
and your granddad!

I must do something!

You know,

I did the best I could to stop
my father from seizing this place.

- But, he wouldn't listen.
- Here it is!

Here, look.

I'm sorry, but,

were you planning on
throwing this out?

No, I'll eat it!

You're crazy!

This envelope
is your salvation!

Sorry, what did you just say?

I don't understand.
What's this about?

- It's easy, look...
- Xiaolin!

- Are you done with the paperwork?
- Yes, dear father.

What do you want from us?

Since 12 o'clock, I'm the new
owner of this restaurant.

Please kindly leave this place.

No, I can't leave that here!

I won't be separated from it.
I love it as if it were my child.

Look here, Mr. Chinaman,
listen carefully.

We're ready to pay our debt.

No. It's too late for that.

Come, my daughter.

I'll never forget you.

I'll always carry you
in my heart.

I'll never marry someone else.

I imagine my father will let me
write to you.

Tell me, my daughter,
whom does this letter belong to?

What do you care?

The stamp on this envelope
is a very precious one.

Of course, you wouldn't
know about that.

It's probably from late
18th century.

It's priceless, actually.

And, it belongs to Beanpole.

Unbelievable.

My granddad must have been
quite rich,

to use such a stamp on
this simple letter.

Alright, don't overplay
your hand.

Tell me how much
you want for it.

How about 100000,
is that too much?

How much did you pay
for the mortgage?

65000, but it's worth
more than that.

Listen, Mr. Chinaman,

here's my offer,

if you give us 65000,
we'll forget what's happened.

Kids, it's settled.

This paper is null and void.
Let's go.

As soon as you see the rats,
set the cats on them.

The cats shall attack
in two lines.

They'll descend upon the rats
and tear them apart!

It's that simple.
Got it?

THE END