A Wizard's Tale (2018) - full transcript
Balloon kingdoms, dopey police dragons and happy wizards are exactly how Terry remembered his Grandmother's whacky fairy tales. Except they are real and it's definitely not as 'cheerful.'
Subtitles by explosiveskull
What you're
looking at here
is that most peculiar
of places, Groovingham.
If you can't imagine it,
well, it's probably here too.
It's a world populated
by all kinds of...
Look, it's probably better if
you just see it for yourself.
I'm sure he's fine.
See you later, suckers!
Get him! He's getting away!
This is where
our story starts,
the "Once Upon a Time."
And a young wizard
was arriving in Groovingham
with his true love, Mary.
Ah!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Mwah!
Bye!
Oh, here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Time to faint. Ooh!
He was top of
his class at wizard school,
so of course
everyone wanted to see him
on his very first day
as king's wizard.
The greatest wizard
in the world!
A hero to us boys and girls!
A new taxpayer!
But of everyone,
the Grin was the most excited.
Here comes the Grin.
Finally, he was going
to make his dream come true.
He would make everybody
and everything...
happy.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
He's got the grin!
And there's plenty
to go around!
I want the grin!
♪ Come on, grin ♪
♪ Hang your coats ♪
♪ Eat our chips, come on ♪
♪ He's gotta know ♪
♪ Shake your coconuts ♪
I want the grin!
- I want the grin!
- I want the grin!
I want the grin!
Wait!
Reporting for work,
Your Highness.
I've made a good start already.
If you look outside, it's...
Total chaos, Sire!
The realm's aflame!
Hello. Does anyone fancy
some tax refunds?
All it takes is a "please."
- Please?
- Close enough.
Whoo-hoo! Not only am I happy,
I'm also rich!
Mmmph!
This... is...
chaos!
Chaos isn't so vile
if you face it with a smile!
Capture him!
Help!
Mwah!
Jump!
Ohh!
Whoa!
Get in.
Take the pepper!
Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
They spent days
hidden amongst the caves.
I totally understand
you want to make everyone happy,
but you can't force it.
I'm just trying
to cheer everyone up,
whether they like it or not.
People have to find happiness
themselves.
You don't understand.
Oh!
Look!
Ah-choo!
I'll get some supplies.
Don't worry.
I'll make this little fella
happy too.
You'll see.
We'll talk later, okay?
But she never
came back.
The king accused her
of helping the Grin
and banished her forever.
She was sent through a portal
to our dimension,
never to see her love again.
Nooo!
And she could never
return to her world.
She's not coming back, Dingo.
She's left me.
Grandma, I wish they stayed
happily ever after.
Oh, me too, Terry.
It would have been wonderful.
Why didn't you write it
that way?
Well, in real life,
things don't always turn out
happily ever after.
Grandma, what happened
to the Grin?
I'm sure he's still the cheerful
fellow he always was.
Now go to sleep.
Quickly, chop-chop.
She's left me.
Ah...
choo!
Wait!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Try opening your eyes this time.
Chop-chop!
Chop-chop!
What do you mean,
you don't have change?
I'm sorry.
We had one customer today,
and he paid with a twenty.
Daddy, why couldn't we
go somewhere
with a real roller coaster?
Hey!
We've got a real classic
roller coaster right here!
Oh, come on, darling.
This place!
Didn't want to come here anyway.
Three hours in the car!
Yeah, kid.
This place is a dump.
And your ice cream sucks!
Look, I know you already have
your hands full,
but we need to think
about updating.
Amusement parks are,
well, more amusing these days.
And exciting.
What? The park is exciting.
Really exciting.
It's just the way
Grandma left it.
You can't always keep things
exactly as they were
in your grandma's day.
Oh, lovely!
Hey, put that down!
That was Grandma's
last-ever cup of coffee!
And she left it
in this exact spot.
I know this is hard,
but if we miss another payment,
we'll have to close.
We can't close!
Oh, Terry, you either
need to move forward here
or go back home
to your parents.
It's time to face reality.
Hmm.
What? Strange.
Oh.
Oh, come on! Chop-chop!
Huh?
Huh? What is this?
Okay, I just need to land
this thing gently.
Good enough.
What? A dragon!
That was a living,
breathing dragon!
And it wrote me
a speeding ticket.
Huh?
A castle?
And a chocolate mine.
It's just like Grandma's park,
only realer.
And don't forget
the candy frost cemetery.
Oh, thank you.
Heh heh heh.
I say! What a nice young man!
Okay, that's it.
I've got to get back home
immediately.
Oh, dreadful weather!
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Sweet freedom!
Ow!
Where's the boss?
You've lost him!
He doesn't need us anymore.
He's abandoned us!
Don't be absurd.
Who would ever abandon me?
Finally!
After decades!
The king will feel
all the might of my revenge.
What?
"In loving memory?"
How dare he kick the bucket
without telling me!
Boss, where are you?
You've squished him!
The king is dead.
Bang goes my revenge.
Princess Dawn's coronation.
Huh? Princess?
As in the king's daughter?
I don't know, Boss.
Of course she is,
you halfwit.
Where is my dragon? Dingo!
Stop. Your breath.
All right, that's enough!
Dingo, Grumpies,
we have work to do.
Ooh! But first,
I need a bath and a shave.
We're going to a coronation!
Sound the alarm!
It's a beautiful day
here in Groovingham,
and everyone is
anxiously waiting
for Princess Dawn
to appear for her coronation.
But I don't even know if I want
to be queen just by myself.
Truth be told,
I think I'd rather sit here
and wait for my Prince Charming
to come.
You have come of age.
It is mandatory that you succeed
your father on the throne.
Plus look at
the pretty crown, dear.
Oh, my little girl...
now a full-grown woman!
Blow your nose, darling.
But I don't want
to do any of this!
What is it, Bip?
Grump escape from big prison.
Grump coming!
The Grump?
I thought he was just
a boogeyman in old stories,
told to make me eat my soup.
You never wanted
to finish your soup.
Actually, he is very real,
I'm afraid.
And the last wizard
in Groovingham.
Oh, my!
It took your father
so many years to capture him.
Here comes the Grump.
Here comes the Grump.
Here comes the Grump.
Here comes the Grump.
It's going get grumpy in here!
Who is it?
Wizard Grump,
you are not welcome.
Please go!
Oh, really?
Hmm.
Now, I've heard that that
inconsiderate king of yours
died before I could say
my special goodbye to him.
Good to know he left
his daughter
to pay for
his selfish actions.
I once offered happiness
to this kingdom,
but you rejected it!
So I'm the Grump now,
and I want to show you
my gratitude
by giving you gloom!
Oh, Bip!
Whoo-hoo!
Cut the racket,
you dumb buffoon.
Get down, get funky
on my spell of gloom!
Princess not safe.
Me take to magic panic room.
What?
Oh, not again.
This is the third time
I've landed here.
This is insane.
I just want to go home!
Why won't you work?
What am I doing differently?
Oh, my dear child,
cover your ears
and sing 500 times
the lullaby of the little sun.
Nanny, do you know what an evil
spell over my kingdom means?
Don't say it.
My prince is coming to save me!
Would this be
a bad time to say
I may have oversold
the whole prince thing?
Come out!
Come out wherever you are!
Just in case the prince
is late for some reason,
remember to go to the Oracle.
♪ Oh, it is sunny ♪
♪ And it puts warmth
in my tummy ♪
♪ When that big fat
yellow ball ♪
♪ Makes my troubles,
oh, so small ♪
Hey, little
detachable thing.
Oh, sorry, chum.
I can't come with you.
You!
Wait! Give me that back!
Wait!
Listen to the misery, Dingo.
Oh, is it not beautiful?
Inspiring, hmm?
Unhappy makes me happy!
Boss! Boss!
Oh, bad news, Boss!
The Princess escaped the gloom!
Hah!
That little thorn in my side
must be plucked out!
But the good news is
we know where she is.
Well, why didn't you
say it, hmm?
Hey, stop! I need that thing
to get back home!
Get back here!
Stop. Nobody goes in.
How come you never speak to me
that nicely?
Sorry.
Hey, you!
Give me that!
Mmm. Delicious.
Hey, come back!
Tweet, tweet, blooming tweet.
Hey, would you like any help
crossing the street?
Thank you very much.
My pleasure.
Welcome to Groovingham!
Have a nice day!
Welcome to Groovingham!
Have a nice day!
At least someone here
is happy.
I hate my work and my life!
Hey, come back here,
nose thing!
Hey!
Stop!
Give that back!
Greetings!
I was wondering,
how will my prince find me
when I'm hiding down there?
Should I not be lying
upon the bed?
Bip!
Hey, get back here!
You're here!
I'm falling!
Who are you?
I'm Dawn.
I'm your princess,
and we'll be living
happily ever after together.
- And you are?
- Uh, Terry.
Prince Terry!
No, just Terry-Terry.
Oh.
Listen, I need to get back home.
But you can't leave.
We... We need you.
You are a prince,
aren't you, Terry-Terry?
I'm not.
- Say you are.
- But I'm not.
Please say you are!
Okay. I'm a prince.
I knew it!
Excuse me, can you help me?
- Also not a prince.
- Let's just say...
there comes a time
in the life of every princess
when she faces a great crisis.
A sleeping spell
or in this precise instance,
a spell of gloom.
And when that time comes,
her prince will come
to her rescue.
Who told you this?
- My teddy bear.
- Your teddy bear said this?
It's a bit more like
she sings to me,
sweet airs and lullabies.
But yes, basically that's it.
Come! We must find
Chancellor Woodblock!
Yeah, Chancellor Woodblock,
obviously.
Didn't you see the sign,
you bozo?
Ohh! Guess I'd better
slide down the wall.
Whoo!
So how come you're not gloomy?
I hid under the bed.
Whenever there is a crisis,
that is what one does.
Um, so would my royal
princeness-ness carry weight
on someone, say, assisting me
on going back home?
- Of course it would.
- Awesome.
As soon as you
save my kingdom,
and we get married.
Uh, married?
What is this, Vegas?
Look!
My faithful subjects
safe and sound.
Hmmph!
Chancellor Woodblock?
Nanny?
Don't "Chancellor Woodblock"
and "Nanny" us!
We can't bear you anymore.
That's funny
because you are a bear,
and you said "bear" you.
- Okay.
- They've all been gloomed.
It's not that.
You treat us like servants!
Have you all taken leave
of your senses?
You are my servants.
- Oh, how dare she!
- Don't push it, my girl!
Come on, you Grumpies!
Pull! Pull!
Wait, wait, I know that guy.
That's the Grin, isn't it?
That was his name, but after
things went bad for him,
he changed it to the Grump.
Much more classy.
But why? Hmm.
Okay, listen, Princess,
I need to find my way back home.
That's right!
Chancellor Woodblock told me
to go to the Oracle.
You can come with me.
He'll know what to do.
Oh, so you were
listening after all.
Okay, how do we get there?
Do you have a map?
I think we have a map room.
You'll have to remind me
where that is.
- It's a rather large castle.
- I don't know.
- Chancellor, please!
- Sorry.
Apparently I've completely
taken leave of my senses.
So no one will help me?
Fine! I'm resourceful,
am I not?
You're good at doing things
for yourself.
Oh, so that's
what "resourceful" means.
Then no, I'm not.
Come on, we've got
to get out of here.
These people are crazy.
Careful,
you good-for-nothing twerp.
A dragon is a delicate thing.
Dingo.
Okay, attack. Fan out.
Let's move.
Move, move, move, move!
So where is that map room?
One needs a map to find
the map room in this place.
This is the carousel room.
A plastic balls room?
Howling wind room.
Get them!
Is this customary
in your kingdom?
Well, one needs evildoers
to be rescued from.
Now do your thing,
brave prince.
Okay. Run!
Whee!
Clapping monkey room?
Why do you even have
a clapping monkey room, baby?
It is a truth
universally acknowledged
that every house is in need
of a clapping monkey room.
Or else, where would one put
one's clapping monkeys?
- I knew that.
- Look!
Mm-hmm. Nice, huh?
No! I mean the mood dart.
What does this one do?
Well, it didn't do anything
to me, babe.
Now move aside
while I use
my out-of-this-world strength
to protect you.
Oh, no.
It's an ego dart.
You've been very self-important.
Well, I think you'll find myself
is very important.
Sorry, shorties,
your mood darts don't affect me.
Oops! Sorry.
No, it's fine.
It didn't hurt.
Hey, no touching
the merchandise, baby.
How do I look in this dress?
Oh no. Don't tell me there's
an insecure-girlfriend dart.
Hold on.
I didn't know we had
a male-chauvinist-pig dart.
Nope. That's just you.
When are you going
to stop running
and start fighting
those things?
Me? It's you they're after.
Hang on.
Blame darts.
I knew it.
Oh, sure.
Of course you know everything.
Oh. The map room.
Where?
Oh.
Hello there.
What can I do for you?
We're looking for
a map to the Oracle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm only a map
for finding the map room.
But we're already
in the map room.
Then my work here is done.
Uh, thank you?
♪ I'm the map, I'm the map,
I'm the map ♪
Oh, definitely not that one.
Hey. Hey. Hey! Hey!
Oh!
Yeah. Nothing.
Aaargh!
Aww!
All right, guvnors,
how can I help ya?
Didn't hear ya there,
me ol' China Plate.
"China Plate" means "mate."
Don't tell me
you ain't never heard
no Cockney-rhyming slang before.
I don't Adam and Eve it.
Here comes the Grump!
Run! Come on!
Move, fools!
Search for them!
Ah, it's him.
The Grin...
I mean the Grump.
Pssst. Help me.
Now!
Push!
Oh.
Run!
Look out, mates!
Unlike the darts,
a spell cast from a wizard
will be permanent.
Permanent?
Is there another way out?
Yeah, hang on,
give me a second.
Please pull up your vehicle.
The heck with it!
Just dive through
that door on the ground!
Hmm? What the...
After you.
Stop shooting!
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Stop it!
Right, let's get out of here.
Okay, where ya headed,
me ol' chinas?
Well, we still need
the right map.
A map?
I'm a top-of-the-range,
state-of-the-art
navigation assistant.
GP Sparrow's the name.
GPS for short.
Good for you, but can you
take us to the Oracle?
Yes, little lady.
I'm your man. This way.
Dawn must go!
There is no need to be rude.
I haven't started to rule yet.
It's a spell. It'll get worse
and worse every day.
- Worse? How?
- We don't want a princess.
Go away.
Much worse than a tomato.
My blimp will get us
to the Oracle faster.
The sooner we get there,
the sooner I'll be back home.
But you can't leave
after that.
Who will protect me?
I'm sorry. I have
responsibilities, a job.
And seriously, Dawn,
do I look like a prince?
You certainly don't
smell like one.
Ah-choo!
Can you stop that?
I've got to go home and save
my grandma's amusement park.
Amusement park?
Does it tell jokes?
No, although the profits
are pretty laughable.
And if it's that bad,
why would you want to go back?
It's not that it's bad.
I haven't found a way to make it
as cool as my grandma made it.
Come on.
And he's a family man too.
Everyone, hop in.
You have arrived
at your destination.
Uh, where?
The Oracle.
Ta-da!
And we're gonna ask
this Oracle questions,
and it's going
to answer us, right?
Right.
Greetings! We're here!
Oracle!
Uh-huh, sure, whatever.
I mean, you know, fine.
Wow.
Thou have reached
the all-seeing Oracle!
Name your business with me,
puny mortals.
Oh! You tell me.
You are the Oracle.
Oh, come on,
we need a little drama here.
It's kind of getting boring,
sitting around all day.
You have come
in search of my help!
Talk about a cut-priced Oracle.
Anyone could have guessed that.
Anyone could
have guessed that!
Well, how about
I know the Grump
has cast a spell
over your kingdom.
Ah, big deal.
I also know that thing
with your underwear, Terry.
- What thing with his...
- Nothing! It was an accident!
Never mind.
Guy's awesome! He even...
Guessed my name.
Who's a cut-price Oracle
now, huh?
Wow! I take it back.
That's...
Amazing!
I can't believe...
- How dumb I look now?
- Wait. No, I wasn't going...
To say that. Stop it.
No, you stop it.
Gentlemen, settle down.
Sorry, my dear.
You must travel to the Cave
of the Whispering Orchids.
I didn't know of such a place.
And that, Princess,
is why I'm the all-knowing one.
Find the Crystal Key.
It is the only way
to lift the spell.
So she needs to find the key.
Yeah, so do you.
You need that key
to go back home.
Oh, goodie!
We're both on a quest
for the same thing.
We have much in common,
key buddy.
How can the key be the thing
that helps both of us?
Because that key is the key...
to happiness.
- But...
- Well!
Now we all know
what we're looking for.
Of course, when I find the key,
I'm going to destroy it.
Sorry.
Get her!
And the boyfriend too.
I'm not her boyfriend.
That's what everyone says
at the beginning.
Oh, that was a wink, by the way.
She'll leave you, you know.
Not in a million lifetimes.
Fry them, Dingo.
Stone the crows!
What, you couldn't
see that coming?
I told you,
I get bored a lot.
Run!
At last, a bit of excitement.
Quick, give me
the vial of perfume.
Good idea, my prince.
At least we'll be
sweet-smelling corpses.
Run!
Help me!
Hey!
Whoa!
That zeppelin.
Where did he get my blimp?
Ah... Ah...
Don't do it. Don't do it.
Hold that sneeze, lizard lips!
Ah-choo!
We just need to patch it.
I don't suppose
you have any rubber trees.
No, but I do know
the closest drum.
That's drum and bass place
for a patch.
- The Balloony Woonie Kingdom.
- What's that?
A kingdom inhabited by balloons.
I bet there's a patch there.
- On we go then, gentlemen.
- Uh, detour.
Recalculating, recalculating.
But first, I decree
we make a small camp.
If one does not rest soon,
it might ruin
the royal complexion.
Yeah, I do feel a bit drowsy.
I didn't bring
my special sleeping pillow.
I'll have to improvise.
Now, Prince Terry,
it's time for my bedtime story.
You may begin.
Really? I don't think so.
Okay, okay. Uh...
Once upon a time,
there was a...
- A prince?
- No, a... a lemur.
- A lemur prince?
- No, just a lemur.
And this lemur, well,
he lived with his granny lemur
in the kingdom of Real-worldia.
Is she beautiful?
Yeah, yeah, the most
beautiful granny ever.
And she had built
this incredible place,
where kids... lemurs...
would have tons of fun.
And she told her grandson
stories about
this world of yours.
And the lemur
and his granny lived...
Lived happily ever after.
I hate to burst
your princess bubble, but...
"happily ever after" doesn't
really exist in reality.
In Real-worldia?
Not in Real-worldia,
nor in life.
Life doesn't have happy endings.
Life is full of happy endings,
Prince Terry.
You just need to know
where to look for them.
Your destination
is 300 feet ahead.
My grandma told me
stories about this kingdom.
Brave red balloons
defend the castle,
using spears, shields,
swords, and...
musical instruments?
Go tell your king
that Princess Dawn is here
and wishes to speak to him.
No. There's no kings here,
sister.
Kings are like so mainstream,
sister dude.
Go ahead, everyone's welcome.
Oh. Very well then.
Announce our arrival,
if you please.
Her Most Gracious Highness,
Princess Dawn and her...
buffoon have arrived.
What?
What have they done
to the castle? It's a cafe.
Hello, I'm Thelonius!
What are you having today, man?
We have oxygen, water,
oxygen-oxygen macchiato,
fat-free deoxygenated oxygen.
May I suggest
the air of the month?
Thank you.
We really don't want any...
What sizes do you serve?
There's molto grandotto,
enormissimo,
and big.
Which is the small one?
No small here.
Just molto grandotto.
Actually, we're not having
anything, thank you.
We're in a bit of a hurry.
Hurrying is wrong, man.
Slow down.
Take a sip.
Love the ironic outfit, mate.
Look, we're in a really critical
situation, right, Princess?
Princess?
No more Princess Dawn.
Call me Princess Up.
What have you given her?
Since she's royalty,
I've added two complementary
extra caffeinated oxygen shots
to her serving.
Aha! Can I have some?
No, you can't.
She is completely looney.
We call it happiccino.
Hey! Beep. Beep. Bip.
Aah! Who's in charge here?
We're all masters
of our own destiny here.
Hey!
Listen, we just need to find
a patch and get out of here.
I've just had a lot
of some handmade patches
from an indigenous organic
patch farm delivered.
GP, please!
What? I was doing nothing.
Here comes the Grump!
What do we do?
He found us.
I love organic food.
Battle stations, everyone!
Ho!
What are you...
What are you doing?
We'll crush them under the might
of our nonconformist posts.
What in the name of wickedness
are those guys doing, huh?
Oh, no!
They're posting horrible
comments about you, sir.
Our popularity will be crushed.
How dare they.
I'll show them.
Fire at will!
Increase the sourness
of your comments.
Feel the wrath of our weapon!
Look out!
I hate the poop one.
Look out!
YOLO!
Really?
You can use that old machine
to patch your blimp.
Come on.
Let's help them first.
Patch.
Air.
Give me that.
Clear.
Patch the wounded!
Get them, Dingo!
Hold it!
Ohh! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!
Everyone,
grab a tank and charge!
Chop-chop!
No!
Not our season blend!
There goes my prince,
saving me again.
I'm so proud.
Everyone, give me a T.
- Uh...
- T!
Be still,
so I can fry you.
♪ Ninety-nine knights
in the air ♪
♪ Ride super high-tech
jet fighters ♪
♪ Everyone's a superhero ♪
♪ Everyone's a Captain Kirk ♪
♪ With orders to identify ♪
♪ To clarify and classify ♪
♪ Scrambling the summer sky ♪
♪ Ninety-nine
red balloons go by ♪
T-E-R-R-Why?
Because Terry is our guy!
Go, Terry!
♪ Ninety-nine
red balloons go by ♪
Oh, this really is
enjoyable, indeed!
How long can you
hold them off?
No worries, man, look.
Thanks for all your help.
Special happiccino order
for Mr. GP Sparrow.
Uh, must be some other
GP Sparrow, I guess.
Wave that smile bye-bye
'cause this spell
will make you cry!
Give me my blimp back!
His blimp back? What?
Princess!
She's been struck by the spell.
Are you okay?
You will leave me.
You will.
- Oh, woe is me.
- What?
You will find
a younger princess
with bigger diamonds
in her crown
and more drama!
We need specialist's help.
She's losing it.
Searching. Found one alchemist
in the area.
Head towards the...
- Oh, no.
- What?
The only way to get there
is incredibly dangerous,
through the Christmas Tree
Forest.
Let's go. We have no time.
She's about to get worse.
Worse is good.
Happy is for conformists.
Nice weather, eh, Princess?
Quiet. They might hear ya.
Who?
Recalculating detour.
Princess! Bip!
Are you okay?
Bip! Come here, boy! Bip!
My pretty little puppy,
lost forever.
No, if he were lost,
he wouldn't be barking.
Uh, he's not barking anymore.
Bip!
Hello?
And Yuletide greetings
to one and all.
Oh, no.
Is it that time of year
already?
Here is always the most
wonderful time of the year.
And you are all invited to spend
Christmas with us forever.
Thank you very much,
but we can't stay.
We're on a mission.
Such a shame.
Looks like you're going to be
part of our Christmas ornaments,
just like your friends here.
Grump?
Princess,
on the count of three,
try swinging, okay?
One, two...
three.
What are they doing to him?
Some kind of
pastry arrangement?
Oh, no!
I think it's figgy pudding.
We've got to stop them.
No, wait!
Finally! Our Christmas quest
has come to an end.
Quest? Christmas quest?
Yes! Don't you see?
That's old Saint Nick
with his elves.
Is it? Really?
We are brave kids
on a quest to, uh...
Give Rudolph his nose back.
Give Rudolph
his nose back. Exactly.
And save Christmas.
Bip, give Rudolph
his nose back.
That sounds convincingly similar
to a Christmas TV special.
Release them fast!
They have to save Christmas!
How did we miss it?
That guy came flying in
with his pointy hat,
his purple outfit, his...
Wait. Purple outfit?
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
Come on!
Never!
♪ We want to wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
Big smile.
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
♪ Feliz Navidad
próspero año y felicidad ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪
Christmas blessings
to you all.
And a Happy New Year.
Ah... Ah... Ah...
Ah-choo!
- Well done, Bip!
- Keep going to the south.
After eight miles, you will have
reached the alchemist.
I left my purse
back at the castle,
and I want new shoes.
You have arrived
at your final destination.
You mean at death?
Yeah, I'm processing all this,
and it feels like she's
suffering from being... sad.
She's sad?
That's your diagnosis, is it?
She's sad?
My official diagnosis is
she's very sad.
Oh, no! I'm very sad.
And a little insipid too,
I might add.
And I'm insipid too!
Well, that's all
I can diagnose right now.
Mrs. Milverton, please offer
our guests some, uh...
tea.
- Is this how you do psychology?
- It's alchemy.
Psychology
ain't an exact science.
Alchemy is.
Yes, no, well, that certainly
looks precise, I guess.
Yes, I know
what needs to be done.
I need a hug.
Okay.
Come here, you.
You need to find a wizard.
Only a wizard
can remove a magic spell.
But Grump is the only wizard
left, isn't he?
Oh.
Of course, there is the age-old,
ever-reliable
true love's first kiss.
Well, then I'm doomed
because nobody loves me.
Nobody!
Oh, no, don't say that.
Bip loves you.
Isn't there another way?
It's either a wizard
or the you-know-what, tiger.
- Grrrr!
- What? No! No!
You don't understand.
I'm not in love
with the princess.
I heard that.
Why don't you give it a shot?
Go on.
But this is nonsense.
So a true love's first kiss
it is.
It should be administered
as the sun rises
and not a minute later.
Call me in the morning.
Here. Told ya.
Alchemy is the best.
- Dawn.
- Yes, Terry-Terry?
No, I mean, it's dawn already.
The kiss, remember?
Oh, the kiss.
Oh, okay,
just give me a second here.
You want directions
to her lips?
I know where they are.
Hurry up then, guvnor.
Dawn's not gonna last forever
and neither is Dawn.
Give us some room then.
Chop-chop.
That was...
amazing!
It was?
I'm cured.
But somehow I thought...
a true love's first kiss
would be more epic.
Whoa! What do you mean?
It's almost as if...
and I know it's probably
not possible...
but "happily ever after"
doesn't happen
just because of a kiss.
Well, happily ever after
doesn't depend on just a kiss.
And to be honest,
I don't know how my kiss
broke your spell
because, well, I'm...
You're not in love with me.
Please! We've only known
each other for a day.
People don't fall in love
in a day.
It's just, well,
relationships are hard.
They take work.
I don't understand why you can't
believe in "happily ever after,"
and why I'm so hard
to fall in love with.
Oh, don't say that, Dawn.
Hey, don't be mad at me.
All I wanted was
to get back home.
Then so be it!
But...
I'll sit here and perhaps
my true prince will come.
Dismissed, all of you.
You've reached
your destination.
Well, it is a cave,
and I do hear whispers.
Stop. Only wizards
are allowed inside our cave.
Only wizards
are allowed inside our cave.
Only wizards
are allowed inside our cave.
I swear, if they ever
get to that cave...
Get him!
- Oh, hi.
- Hello.
- Put 'em up, put 'em up!
- Ah, ah, ah...
Ah-choo!
This spell is a sleepy jinx.
Close your eyes
to get 40 winks.
Let us go and get that key.
The princess can wait.
Oh, don't worry, lad.
I'll find ya.
Volunteer for going inside?
Brave volunteer stepping up.
Stop. Only wizards
are allowed inside our cave.
Well!
Only wizards?
There I was,
worrying about those dumb kids.
Oh!
I am the only wizard left.
Orchids, I am the Grump.
Ah!
Welcome to
the Cave of Whispering Orchids.
♪ When, oh, when
will my prince arrive ♪
♪ A dream of love
that could come true ♪
♪ I'll sit and wait
for my prince ♪
♪ My prince of blue ♪
♪ Called Stu ♪
♪ Who likes me
even though I'm cuckoo ♪
Bip!
Well, Bip's nose anyway.
Ah, the rest of Bip.
Well, I've been embroidering
as I await my true prince, see?
He found the cave?
Well, good for him.
The Grump did what?
Oh, my!
Terry!
That stubborn boy needs us.
But how will we get there
in time?
To the rescue,
whatever your name is.
Oh, my fair princess!
At last I have found thee.
- Kingdoms...
- Yeah, whatever. Tell me later.
I've got to go
rescue someone.
Huh? Where am I?
You're safe now. Ooh.
Wait. Weren't you
under my gloomy spell?
Hmm. And you.
You were under
my sleepy spell.
Oh, give me a break.
And that key, it wasn't inside
that blasted cave.
You! You took it.
Me? I couldn't have taken it.
Didn't the orchids tell you?
Only a wizard
can get inside the cave.
Hmm. So they did.
What? Only wizards?
We're doomed, Terry-Terry.
That's what the orchids said.
But maybe the orchids
can be a little melodramatic.
I will guard this key
with my life.
Or I'll just run away with it,
if it's easier.
Dingo, stop!
Tie them all up
and go and get my blimp back.
Turn left two centimeters.
In approximately
three millimeters, turn right.
Come on.
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
So how did you get that key?
I don't know.
The orchids just let me in.
Maybe I could be
a wizard too.
No, think about it.
Orchids, the kiss, the rabbit...
- What rabbit?
- My blimp being Grump's blimp.
My grandma being all alone.
Okay, but how do you
cast spells then?
Well, I mean,
obviously, it's...
Abracadabra!
Hocus pocus.
Grump is gonna
destroy the key.
We need to think
of something fast.
We need to hurry up!
Chop-chop!
Say that again.
Chop-chop? Huh?
Keys, chop-chop.
Oops.
Bip's nose!
And the keys.
Oh, well done, Bip.
Looks like your magic
isn't necessary this time.
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Let's put an end to happiness.
Terry, be careful!
I'm a wizard.
I can do this.
Chop-chop!
Thank you, you fool.
Maybe not.
Dawn must go!
Chop-chop.
Uh-oh.
The key. It's broken.
Well, I think
we did quite well.
Almost saved my kingdom
and almost sent you back home.
Yeah, we came close.
And it sorta seems
as though you were right.
Perhaps I don't need a prince
to save me after all.
And you don't need the key
to go back home.
- Huh?
- There's your blimp!
Use your magic and say,
"Chop-chop!"
It's dangerous.
Come with me.
I am the queen.
I must stay.
Dawn must go! Dawn must go!
Dawn must go! Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
I'll stay here with you.
Hooray!
What happened?
We found happiness.
It only works
when you're ready to let it go.
Nooo!
You!
Get him!
That's...
A young man.
Oh.
Mary.
Ohh...
My Grandma Mary,
your girl,
she could never return
to your world,
so she built this park
as a way to remember you.
Oh, Mary.
I only wanted
to make everyone happy.
We still can.
Grandpa.
Two minutes to the final show!
Just two minutes!
It meant a lot
that you could come.
I'd like you to meet
my parents.
Dad, this is Dawn.
Oh, charmed.
Oh, hello.
Where's Mum?
Jocelyn, honey?
Oh!
Hello.
Oh!
Nice meeting you.
Oh, and you must be
Terry's fiancé.
No, um...
It's a little too early
for that.
We've only known
each other a month.
Can I, uh...
Of course.
Well, we love what you did
to the park here.
See you later.
Come on, Malcolm.
How's everything going
back home?
People are very happy
with the changes I've suggested.
Me like pay when me works.
And soon we'll be having grammar
classes for everyone too.
Oh, no!
Here comes the Grump!
You blasted kids,
I'll get you all!
Dingo, attack!
Ha ha!
This is the best
amusement park ever!
Whoo!
Waah!
Oh, chop-chop.
Ah, first month
of the reopening,
and we've already paid off
all our debts.
Not bad, Terry, not bad.
Thanks, and not bad
for the ol' Grump either.
Whoa!
I got you, you rascals!
♪ We used to go
where no one dared to go ♪
♪ And now you chase
the dragon on your own ♪
♪ She used to suck
the fun out of me ♪
♪ Beware the dog who's selling
songs about defeat ♪
♪ Begging for love
but you're old enough ♪
♪ To know better
than you know ♪
♪ You hate so much
and you're better off alone ♪
Here comes the Grump!
Here comes the Grump!
♪ She used to suck
the life out of me ♪
♪ We used to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now it's all just hazy ♪
♪ We used to walk
where the wild things grow ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ We used to go
where the cool kids go ♪
♪ But now you're
just too lazy ♪
♪ We just to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy ♪
Whoo!
♪ Beware the ghost
who lives on Salamander Road ♪
♪ Trapped in a cloud of smoke ♪
♪ It's old enough to know
better than it knows ♪
♪ Ate so much, you better
leave that jerk alone ♪
♪ She used to suck
the life out of me ♪
♪ We used to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now it's all just hazy ♪
♪ We used to walk
where the wild things grow ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ We used to go
where the cool kids go ♪
♪ But now you're
just too lazy ♪
♪ We just to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy ♪
Whoo!
Go, go, go!
Go, go, go!
Go, go, go!
Go, go, go!
♪ She used to suck the ♪
♪ Fun out of me ♪
♪ We just to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ We used to walk
where the wild things grow ♪
♪ But now it's all just hazy ♪
♪ We used to go
where the cool kids go ♪
♪ But now you're
just too lazy ♪
♪ We just to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy ♪
Whoo!
Subtitles by explosiveskull
What you're
looking at here
is that most peculiar
of places, Groovingham.
If you can't imagine it,
well, it's probably here too.
It's a world populated
by all kinds of...
Look, it's probably better if
you just see it for yourself.
I'm sure he's fine.
See you later, suckers!
Get him! He's getting away!
This is where
our story starts,
the "Once Upon a Time."
And a young wizard
was arriving in Groovingham
with his true love, Mary.
Ah!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Mwah!
Bye!
Oh, here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Here comes the Grin!
Time to faint. Ooh!
He was top of
his class at wizard school,
so of course
everyone wanted to see him
on his very first day
as king's wizard.
The greatest wizard
in the world!
A hero to us boys and girls!
A new taxpayer!
But of everyone,
the Grin was the most excited.
Here comes the Grin.
Finally, he was going
to make his dream come true.
He would make everybody
and everything...
happy.
Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
He's got the grin!
And there's plenty
to go around!
I want the grin!
♪ Come on, grin ♪
♪ Hang your coats ♪
♪ Eat our chips, come on ♪
♪ He's gotta know ♪
♪ Shake your coconuts ♪
I want the grin!
- I want the grin!
- I want the grin!
I want the grin!
Wait!
Reporting for work,
Your Highness.
I've made a good start already.
If you look outside, it's...
Total chaos, Sire!
The realm's aflame!
Hello. Does anyone fancy
some tax refunds?
All it takes is a "please."
- Please?
- Close enough.
Whoo-hoo! Not only am I happy,
I'm also rich!
Mmmph!
This... is...
chaos!
Chaos isn't so vile
if you face it with a smile!
Capture him!
Help!
Mwah!
Jump!
Ohh!
Whoa!
Get in.
Take the pepper!
Ah-choo!
Ah-choo!
They spent days
hidden amongst the caves.
I totally understand
you want to make everyone happy,
but you can't force it.
I'm just trying
to cheer everyone up,
whether they like it or not.
People have to find happiness
themselves.
You don't understand.
Oh!
Look!
Ah-choo!
I'll get some supplies.
Don't worry.
I'll make this little fella
happy too.
You'll see.
We'll talk later, okay?
But she never
came back.
The king accused her
of helping the Grin
and banished her forever.
She was sent through a portal
to our dimension,
never to see her love again.
Nooo!
And she could never
return to her world.
She's not coming back, Dingo.
She's left me.
Grandma, I wish they stayed
happily ever after.
Oh, me too, Terry.
It would have been wonderful.
Why didn't you write it
that way?
Well, in real life,
things don't always turn out
happily ever after.
Grandma, what happened
to the Grin?
I'm sure he's still the cheerful
fellow he always was.
Now go to sleep.
Quickly, chop-chop.
She's left me.
Ah...
choo!
Wait!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Try opening your eyes this time.
Chop-chop!
Chop-chop!
What do you mean,
you don't have change?
I'm sorry.
We had one customer today,
and he paid with a twenty.
Daddy, why couldn't we
go somewhere
with a real roller coaster?
Hey!
We've got a real classic
roller coaster right here!
Oh, come on, darling.
This place!
Didn't want to come here anyway.
Three hours in the car!
Yeah, kid.
This place is a dump.
And your ice cream sucks!
Look, I know you already have
your hands full,
but we need to think
about updating.
Amusement parks are,
well, more amusing these days.
And exciting.
What? The park is exciting.
Really exciting.
It's just the way
Grandma left it.
You can't always keep things
exactly as they were
in your grandma's day.
Oh, lovely!
Hey, put that down!
That was Grandma's
last-ever cup of coffee!
And she left it
in this exact spot.
I know this is hard,
but if we miss another payment,
we'll have to close.
We can't close!
Oh, Terry, you either
need to move forward here
or go back home
to your parents.
It's time to face reality.
Hmm.
What? Strange.
Oh.
Oh, come on! Chop-chop!
Huh?
Huh? What is this?
Okay, I just need to land
this thing gently.
Good enough.
What? A dragon!
That was a living,
breathing dragon!
And it wrote me
a speeding ticket.
Huh?
A castle?
And a chocolate mine.
It's just like Grandma's park,
only realer.
And don't forget
the candy frost cemetery.
Oh, thank you.
Heh heh heh.
I say! What a nice young man!
Okay, that's it.
I've got to get back home
immediately.
Oh, dreadful weather!
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Sweet freedom!
Ow!
Where's the boss?
You've lost him!
He doesn't need us anymore.
He's abandoned us!
Don't be absurd.
Who would ever abandon me?
Finally!
After decades!
The king will feel
all the might of my revenge.
What?
"In loving memory?"
How dare he kick the bucket
without telling me!
Boss, where are you?
You've squished him!
The king is dead.
Bang goes my revenge.
Princess Dawn's coronation.
Huh? Princess?
As in the king's daughter?
I don't know, Boss.
Of course she is,
you halfwit.
Where is my dragon? Dingo!
Stop. Your breath.
All right, that's enough!
Dingo, Grumpies,
we have work to do.
Ooh! But first,
I need a bath and a shave.
We're going to a coronation!
Sound the alarm!
It's a beautiful day
here in Groovingham,
and everyone is
anxiously waiting
for Princess Dawn
to appear for her coronation.
But I don't even know if I want
to be queen just by myself.
Truth be told,
I think I'd rather sit here
and wait for my Prince Charming
to come.
You have come of age.
It is mandatory that you succeed
your father on the throne.
Plus look at
the pretty crown, dear.
Oh, my little girl...
now a full-grown woman!
Blow your nose, darling.
But I don't want
to do any of this!
What is it, Bip?
Grump escape from big prison.
Grump coming!
The Grump?
I thought he was just
a boogeyman in old stories,
told to make me eat my soup.
You never wanted
to finish your soup.
Actually, he is very real,
I'm afraid.
And the last wizard
in Groovingham.
Oh, my!
It took your father
so many years to capture him.
Here comes the Grump.
Here comes the Grump.
Here comes the Grump.
Here comes the Grump.
It's going get grumpy in here!
Who is it?
Wizard Grump,
you are not welcome.
Please go!
Oh, really?
Hmm.
Now, I've heard that that
inconsiderate king of yours
died before I could say
my special goodbye to him.
Good to know he left
his daughter
to pay for
his selfish actions.
I once offered happiness
to this kingdom,
but you rejected it!
So I'm the Grump now,
and I want to show you
my gratitude
by giving you gloom!
Oh, Bip!
Whoo-hoo!
Cut the racket,
you dumb buffoon.
Get down, get funky
on my spell of gloom!
Princess not safe.
Me take to magic panic room.
What?
Oh, not again.
This is the third time
I've landed here.
This is insane.
I just want to go home!
Why won't you work?
What am I doing differently?
Oh, my dear child,
cover your ears
and sing 500 times
the lullaby of the little sun.
Nanny, do you know what an evil
spell over my kingdom means?
Don't say it.
My prince is coming to save me!
Would this be
a bad time to say
I may have oversold
the whole prince thing?
Come out!
Come out wherever you are!
Just in case the prince
is late for some reason,
remember to go to the Oracle.
♪ Oh, it is sunny ♪
♪ And it puts warmth
in my tummy ♪
♪ When that big fat
yellow ball ♪
♪ Makes my troubles,
oh, so small ♪
Hey, little
detachable thing.
Oh, sorry, chum.
I can't come with you.
You!
Wait! Give me that back!
Wait!
Listen to the misery, Dingo.
Oh, is it not beautiful?
Inspiring, hmm?
Unhappy makes me happy!
Boss! Boss!
Oh, bad news, Boss!
The Princess escaped the gloom!
Hah!
That little thorn in my side
must be plucked out!
But the good news is
we know where she is.
Well, why didn't you
say it, hmm?
Hey, stop! I need that thing
to get back home!
Get back here!
Stop. Nobody goes in.
How come you never speak to me
that nicely?
Sorry.
Hey, you!
Give me that!
Mmm. Delicious.
Hey, come back!
Tweet, tweet, blooming tweet.
Hey, would you like any help
crossing the street?
Thank you very much.
My pleasure.
Welcome to Groovingham!
Have a nice day!
Welcome to Groovingham!
Have a nice day!
At least someone here
is happy.
I hate my work and my life!
Hey, come back here,
nose thing!
Hey!
Stop!
Give that back!
Greetings!
I was wondering,
how will my prince find me
when I'm hiding down there?
Should I not be lying
upon the bed?
Bip!
Hey, get back here!
You're here!
I'm falling!
Who are you?
I'm Dawn.
I'm your princess,
and we'll be living
happily ever after together.
- And you are?
- Uh, Terry.
Prince Terry!
No, just Terry-Terry.
Oh.
Listen, I need to get back home.
But you can't leave.
We... We need you.
You are a prince,
aren't you, Terry-Terry?
I'm not.
- Say you are.
- But I'm not.
Please say you are!
Okay. I'm a prince.
I knew it!
Excuse me, can you help me?
- Also not a prince.
- Let's just say...
there comes a time
in the life of every princess
when she faces a great crisis.
A sleeping spell
or in this precise instance,
a spell of gloom.
And when that time comes,
her prince will come
to her rescue.
Who told you this?
- My teddy bear.
- Your teddy bear said this?
It's a bit more like
she sings to me,
sweet airs and lullabies.
But yes, basically that's it.
Come! We must find
Chancellor Woodblock!
Yeah, Chancellor Woodblock,
obviously.
Didn't you see the sign,
you bozo?
Ohh! Guess I'd better
slide down the wall.
Whoo!
So how come you're not gloomy?
I hid under the bed.
Whenever there is a crisis,
that is what one does.
Um, so would my royal
princeness-ness carry weight
on someone, say, assisting me
on going back home?
- Of course it would.
- Awesome.
As soon as you
save my kingdom,
and we get married.
Uh, married?
What is this, Vegas?
Look!
My faithful subjects
safe and sound.
Hmmph!
Chancellor Woodblock?
Nanny?
Don't "Chancellor Woodblock"
and "Nanny" us!
We can't bear you anymore.
That's funny
because you are a bear,
and you said "bear" you.
- Okay.
- They've all been gloomed.
It's not that.
You treat us like servants!
Have you all taken leave
of your senses?
You are my servants.
- Oh, how dare she!
- Don't push it, my girl!
Come on, you Grumpies!
Pull! Pull!
Wait, wait, I know that guy.
That's the Grin, isn't it?
That was his name, but after
things went bad for him,
he changed it to the Grump.
Much more classy.
But why? Hmm.
Okay, listen, Princess,
I need to find my way back home.
That's right!
Chancellor Woodblock told me
to go to the Oracle.
You can come with me.
He'll know what to do.
Oh, so you were
listening after all.
Okay, how do we get there?
Do you have a map?
I think we have a map room.
You'll have to remind me
where that is.
- It's a rather large castle.
- I don't know.
- Chancellor, please!
- Sorry.
Apparently I've completely
taken leave of my senses.
So no one will help me?
Fine! I'm resourceful,
am I not?
You're good at doing things
for yourself.
Oh, so that's
what "resourceful" means.
Then no, I'm not.
Come on, we've got
to get out of here.
These people are crazy.
Careful,
you good-for-nothing twerp.
A dragon is a delicate thing.
Dingo.
Okay, attack. Fan out.
Let's move.
Move, move, move, move!
So where is that map room?
One needs a map to find
the map room in this place.
This is the carousel room.
A plastic balls room?
Howling wind room.
Get them!
Is this customary
in your kingdom?
Well, one needs evildoers
to be rescued from.
Now do your thing,
brave prince.
Okay. Run!
Whee!
Clapping monkey room?
Why do you even have
a clapping monkey room, baby?
It is a truth
universally acknowledged
that every house is in need
of a clapping monkey room.
Or else, where would one put
one's clapping monkeys?
- I knew that.
- Look!
Mm-hmm. Nice, huh?
No! I mean the mood dart.
What does this one do?
Well, it didn't do anything
to me, babe.
Now move aside
while I use
my out-of-this-world strength
to protect you.
Oh, no.
It's an ego dart.
You've been very self-important.
Well, I think you'll find myself
is very important.
Sorry, shorties,
your mood darts don't affect me.
Oops! Sorry.
No, it's fine.
It didn't hurt.
Hey, no touching
the merchandise, baby.
How do I look in this dress?
Oh no. Don't tell me there's
an insecure-girlfriend dart.
Hold on.
I didn't know we had
a male-chauvinist-pig dart.
Nope. That's just you.
When are you going
to stop running
and start fighting
those things?
Me? It's you they're after.
Hang on.
Blame darts.
I knew it.
Oh, sure.
Of course you know everything.
Oh. The map room.
Where?
Oh.
Hello there.
What can I do for you?
We're looking for
a map to the Oracle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm only a map
for finding the map room.
But we're already
in the map room.
Then my work here is done.
Uh, thank you?
♪ I'm the map, I'm the map,
I'm the map ♪
Oh, definitely not that one.
Hey. Hey. Hey! Hey!
Oh!
Yeah. Nothing.
Aaargh!
Aww!
All right, guvnors,
how can I help ya?
Didn't hear ya there,
me ol' China Plate.
"China Plate" means "mate."
Don't tell me
you ain't never heard
no Cockney-rhyming slang before.
I don't Adam and Eve it.
Here comes the Grump!
Run! Come on!
Move, fools!
Search for them!
Ah, it's him.
The Grin...
I mean the Grump.
Pssst. Help me.
Now!
Push!
Oh.
Run!
Look out, mates!
Unlike the darts,
a spell cast from a wizard
will be permanent.
Permanent?
Is there another way out?
Yeah, hang on,
give me a second.
Please pull up your vehicle.
The heck with it!
Just dive through
that door on the ground!
Hmm? What the...
After you.
Stop shooting!
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
Stop it!
Right, let's get out of here.
Okay, where ya headed,
me ol' chinas?
Well, we still need
the right map.
A map?
I'm a top-of-the-range,
state-of-the-art
navigation assistant.
GP Sparrow's the name.
GPS for short.
Good for you, but can you
take us to the Oracle?
Yes, little lady.
I'm your man. This way.
Dawn must go!
There is no need to be rude.
I haven't started to rule yet.
It's a spell. It'll get worse
and worse every day.
- Worse? How?
- We don't want a princess.
Go away.
Much worse than a tomato.
My blimp will get us
to the Oracle faster.
The sooner we get there,
the sooner I'll be back home.
But you can't leave
after that.
Who will protect me?
I'm sorry. I have
responsibilities, a job.
And seriously, Dawn,
do I look like a prince?
You certainly don't
smell like one.
Ah-choo!
Can you stop that?
I've got to go home and save
my grandma's amusement park.
Amusement park?
Does it tell jokes?
No, although the profits
are pretty laughable.
And if it's that bad,
why would you want to go back?
It's not that it's bad.
I haven't found a way to make it
as cool as my grandma made it.
Come on.
And he's a family man too.
Everyone, hop in.
You have arrived
at your destination.
Uh, where?
The Oracle.
Ta-da!
And we're gonna ask
this Oracle questions,
and it's going
to answer us, right?
Right.
Greetings! We're here!
Oracle!
Uh-huh, sure, whatever.
I mean, you know, fine.
Wow.
Thou have reached
the all-seeing Oracle!
Name your business with me,
puny mortals.
Oh! You tell me.
You are the Oracle.
Oh, come on,
we need a little drama here.
It's kind of getting boring,
sitting around all day.
You have come
in search of my help!
Talk about a cut-priced Oracle.
Anyone could have guessed that.
Anyone could
have guessed that!
Well, how about
I know the Grump
has cast a spell
over your kingdom.
Ah, big deal.
I also know that thing
with your underwear, Terry.
- What thing with his...
- Nothing! It was an accident!
Never mind.
Guy's awesome! He even...
Guessed my name.
Who's a cut-price Oracle
now, huh?
Wow! I take it back.
That's...
Amazing!
I can't believe...
- How dumb I look now?
- Wait. No, I wasn't going...
To say that. Stop it.
No, you stop it.
Gentlemen, settle down.
Sorry, my dear.
You must travel to the Cave
of the Whispering Orchids.
I didn't know of such a place.
And that, Princess,
is why I'm the all-knowing one.
Find the Crystal Key.
It is the only way
to lift the spell.
So she needs to find the key.
Yeah, so do you.
You need that key
to go back home.
Oh, goodie!
We're both on a quest
for the same thing.
We have much in common,
key buddy.
How can the key be the thing
that helps both of us?
Because that key is the key...
to happiness.
- But...
- Well!
Now we all know
what we're looking for.
Of course, when I find the key,
I'm going to destroy it.
Sorry.
Get her!
And the boyfriend too.
I'm not her boyfriend.
That's what everyone says
at the beginning.
Oh, that was a wink, by the way.
She'll leave you, you know.
Not in a million lifetimes.
Fry them, Dingo.
Stone the crows!
What, you couldn't
see that coming?
I told you,
I get bored a lot.
Run!
At last, a bit of excitement.
Quick, give me
the vial of perfume.
Good idea, my prince.
At least we'll be
sweet-smelling corpses.
Run!
Help me!
Hey!
Whoa!
That zeppelin.
Where did he get my blimp?
Ah... Ah...
Don't do it. Don't do it.
Hold that sneeze, lizard lips!
Ah-choo!
We just need to patch it.
I don't suppose
you have any rubber trees.
No, but I do know
the closest drum.
That's drum and bass place
for a patch.
- The Balloony Woonie Kingdom.
- What's that?
A kingdom inhabited by balloons.
I bet there's a patch there.
- On we go then, gentlemen.
- Uh, detour.
Recalculating, recalculating.
But first, I decree
we make a small camp.
If one does not rest soon,
it might ruin
the royal complexion.
Yeah, I do feel a bit drowsy.
I didn't bring
my special sleeping pillow.
I'll have to improvise.
Now, Prince Terry,
it's time for my bedtime story.
You may begin.
Really? I don't think so.
Okay, okay. Uh...
Once upon a time,
there was a...
- A prince?
- No, a... a lemur.
- A lemur prince?
- No, just a lemur.
And this lemur, well,
he lived with his granny lemur
in the kingdom of Real-worldia.
Is she beautiful?
Yeah, yeah, the most
beautiful granny ever.
And she had built
this incredible place,
where kids... lemurs...
would have tons of fun.
And she told her grandson
stories about
this world of yours.
And the lemur
and his granny lived...
Lived happily ever after.
I hate to burst
your princess bubble, but...
"happily ever after" doesn't
really exist in reality.
In Real-worldia?
Not in Real-worldia,
nor in life.
Life doesn't have happy endings.
Life is full of happy endings,
Prince Terry.
You just need to know
where to look for them.
Your destination
is 300 feet ahead.
My grandma told me
stories about this kingdom.
Brave red balloons
defend the castle,
using spears, shields,
swords, and...
musical instruments?
Go tell your king
that Princess Dawn is here
and wishes to speak to him.
No. There's no kings here,
sister.
Kings are like so mainstream,
sister dude.
Go ahead, everyone's welcome.
Oh. Very well then.
Announce our arrival,
if you please.
Her Most Gracious Highness,
Princess Dawn and her...
buffoon have arrived.
What?
What have they done
to the castle? It's a cafe.
Hello, I'm Thelonius!
What are you having today, man?
We have oxygen, water,
oxygen-oxygen macchiato,
fat-free deoxygenated oxygen.
May I suggest
the air of the month?
Thank you.
We really don't want any...
What sizes do you serve?
There's molto grandotto,
enormissimo,
and big.
Which is the small one?
No small here.
Just molto grandotto.
Actually, we're not having
anything, thank you.
We're in a bit of a hurry.
Hurrying is wrong, man.
Slow down.
Take a sip.
Love the ironic outfit, mate.
Look, we're in a really critical
situation, right, Princess?
Princess?
No more Princess Dawn.
Call me Princess Up.
What have you given her?
Since she's royalty,
I've added two complementary
extra caffeinated oxygen shots
to her serving.
Aha! Can I have some?
No, you can't.
She is completely looney.
We call it happiccino.
Hey! Beep. Beep. Bip.
Aah! Who's in charge here?
We're all masters
of our own destiny here.
Hey!
Listen, we just need to find
a patch and get out of here.
I've just had a lot
of some handmade patches
from an indigenous organic
patch farm delivered.
GP, please!
What? I was doing nothing.
Here comes the Grump!
What do we do?
He found us.
I love organic food.
Battle stations, everyone!
Ho!
What are you...
What are you doing?
We'll crush them under the might
of our nonconformist posts.
What in the name of wickedness
are those guys doing, huh?
Oh, no!
They're posting horrible
comments about you, sir.
Our popularity will be crushed.
How dare they.
I'll show them.
Fire at will!
Increase the sourness
of your comments.
Feel the wrath of our weapon!
Look out!
I hate the poop one.
Look out!
YOLO!
Really?
You can use that old machine
to patch your blimp.
Come on.
Let's help them first.
Patch.
Air.
Give me that.
Clear.
Patch the wounded!
Get them, Dingo!
Hold it!
Ohh! Ow! Ooh! Ooh!
Everyone,
grab a tank and charge!
Chop-chop!
No!
Not our season blend!
There goes my prince,
saving me again.
I'm so proud.
Everyone, give me a T.
- Uh...
- T!
Be still,
so I can fry you.
♪ Ninety-nine knights
in the air ♪
♪ Ride super high-tech
jet fighters ♪
♪ Everyone's a superhero ♪
♪ Everyone's a Captain Kirk ♪
♪ With orders to identify ♪
♪ To clarify and classify ♪
♪ Scrambling the summer sky ♪
♪ Ninety-nine
red balloons go by ♪
T-E-R-R-Why?
Because Terry is our guy!
Go, Terry!
♪ Ninety-nine
red balloons go by ♪
Oh, this really is
enjoyable, indeed!
How long can you
hold them off?
No worries, man, look.
Thanks for all your help.
Special happiccino order
for Mr. GP Sparrow.
Uh, must be some other
GP Sparrow, I guess.
Wave that smile bye-bye
'cause this spell
will make you cry!
Give me my blimp back!
His blimp back? What?
Princess!
She's been struck by the spell.
Are you okay?
You will leave me.
You will.
- Oh, woe is me.
- What?
You will find
a younger princess
with bigger diamonds
in her crown
and more drama!
We need specialist's help.
She's losing it.
Searching. Found one alchemist
in the area.
Head towards the...
- Oh, no.
- What?
The only way to get there
is incredibly dangerous,
through the Christmas Tree
Forest.
Let's go. We have no time.
She's about to get worse.
Worse is good.
Happy is for conformists.
Nice weather, eh, Princess?
Quiet. They might hear ya.
Who?
Recalculating detour.
Princess! Bip!
Are you okay?
Bip! Come here, boy! Bip!
My pretty little puppy,
lost forever.
No, if he were lost,
he wouldn't be barking.
Uh, he's not barking anymore.
Bip!
Hello?
And Yuletide greetings
to one and all.
Oh, no.
Is it that time of year
already?
Here is always the most
wonderful time of the year.
And you are all invited to spend
Christmas with us forever.
Thank you very much,
but we can't stay.
We're on a mission.
Such a shame.
Looks like you're going to be
part of our Christmas ornaments,
just like your friends here.
Grump?
Princess,
on the count of three,
try swinging, okay?
One, two...
three.
What are they doing to him?
Some kind of
pastry arrangement?
Oh, no!
I think it's figgy pudding.
We've got to stop them.
No, wait!
Finally! Our Christmas quest
has come to an end.
Quest? Christmas quest?
Yes! Don't you see?
That's old Saint Nick
with his elves.
Is it? Really?
We are brave kids
on a quest to, uh...
Give Rudolph his nose back.
Give Rudolph
his nose back. Exactly.
And save Christmas.
Bip, give Rudolph
his nose back.
That sounds convincingly similar
to a Christmas TV special.
Release them fast!
They have to save Christmas!
How did we miss it?
That guy came flying in
with his pointy hat,
his purple outfit, his...
Wait. Purple outfit?
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
Come on!
Never!
♪ We want to wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
Big smile.
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
♪ Feliz Navidad ♪
♪ Feliz Navidad
próspero año y felicidad ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪
♪ We wanna wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ From the bottom
of my heart ♪
Christmas blessings
to you all.
And a Happy New Year.
Ah... Ah... Ah...
Ah-choo!
- Well done, Bip!
- Keep going to the south.
After eight miles, you will have
reached the alchemist.
I left my purse
back at the castle,
and I want new shoes.
You have arrived
at your final destination.
You mean at death?
Yeah, I'm processing all this,
and it feels like she's
suffering from being... sad.
She's sad?
That's your diagnosis, is it?
She's sad?
My official diagnosis is
she's very sad.
Oh, no! I'm very sad.
And a little insipid too,
I might add.
And I'm insipid too!
Well, that's all
I can diagnose right now.
Mrs. Milverton, please offer
our guests some, uh...
tea.
- Is this how you do psychology?
- It's alchemy.
Psychology
ain't an exact science.
Alchemy is.
Yes, no, well, that certainly
looks precise, I guess.
Yes, I know
what needs to be done.
I need a hug.
Okay.
Come here, you.
You need to find a wizard.
Only a wizard
can remove a magic spell.
But Grump is the only wizard
left, isn't he?
Oh.
Of course, there is the age-old,
ever-reliable
true love's first kiss.
Well, then I'm doomed
because nobody loves me.
Nobody!
Oh, no, don't say that.
Bip loves you.
Isn't there another way?
It's either a wizard
or the you-know-what, tiger.
- Grrrr!
- What? No! No!
You don't understand.
I'm not in love
with the princess.
I heard that.
Why don't you give it a shot?
Go on.
But this is nonsense.
So a true love's first kiss
it is.
It should be administered
as the sun rises
and not a minute later.
Call me in the morning.
Here. Told ya.
Alchemy is the best.
- Dawn.
- Yes, Terry-Terry?
No, I mean, it's dawn already.
The kiss, remember?
Oh, the kiss.
Oh, okay,
just give me a second here.
You want directions
to her lips?
I know where they are.
Hurry up then, guvnor.
Dawn's not gonna last forever
and neither is Dawn.
Give us some room then.
Chop-chop.
That was...
amazing!
It was?
I'm cured.
But somehow I thought...
a true love's first kiss
would be more epic.
Whoa! What do you mean?
It's almost as if...
and I know it's probably
not possible...
but "happily ever after"
doesn't happen
just because of a kiss.
Well, happily ever after
doesn't depend on just a kiss.
And to be honest,
I don't know how my kiss
broke your spell
because, well, I'm...
You're not in love with me.
Please! We've only known
each other for a day.
People don't fall in love
in a day.
It's just, well,
relationships are hard.
They take work.
I don't understand why you can't
believe in "happily ever after,"
and why I'm so hard
to fall in love with.
Oh, don't say that, Dawn.
Hey, don't be mad at me.
All I wanted was
to get back home.
Then so be it!
But...
I'll sit here and perhaps
my true prince will come.
Dismissed, all of you.
You've reached
your destination.
Well, it is a cave,
and I do hear whispers.
Stop. Only wizards
are allowed inside our cave.
Only wizards
are allowed inside our cave.
Only wizards
are allowed inside our cave.
I swear, if they ever
get to that cave...
Get him!
- Oh, hi.
- Hello.
- Put 'em up, put 'em up!
- Ah, ah, ah...
Ah-choo!
This spell is a sleepy jinx.
Close your eyes
to get 40 winks.
Let us go and get that key.
The princess can wait.
Oh, don't worry, lad.
I'll find ya.
Volunteer for going inside?
Brave volunteer stepping up.
Stop. Only wizards
are allowed inside our cave.
Well!
Only wizards?
There I was,
worrying about those dumb kids.
Oh!
I am the only wizard left.
Orchids, I am the Grump.
Ah!
Welcome to
the Cave of Whispering Orchids.
♪ When, oh, when
will my prince arrive ♪
♪ A dream of love
that could come true ♪
♪ I'll sit and wait
for my prince ♪
♪ My prince of blue ♪
♪ Called Stu ♪
♪ Who likes me
even though I'm cuckoo ♪
Bip!
Well, Bip's nose anyway.
Ah, the rest of Bip.
Well, I've been embroidering
as I await my true prince, see?
He found the cave?
Well, good for him.
The Grump did what?
Oh, my!
Terry!
That stubborn boy needs us.
But how will we get there
in time?
To the rescue,
whatever your name is.
Oh, my fair princess!
At last I have found thee.
- Kingdoms...
- Yeah, whatever. Tell me later.
I've got to go
rescue someone.
Huh? Where am I?
You're safe now. Ooh.
Wait. Weren't you
under my gloomy spell?
Hmm. And you.
You were under
my sleepy spell.
Oh, give me a break.
And that key, it wasn't inside
that blasted cave.
You! You took it.
Me? I couldn't have taken it.
Didn't the orchids tell you?
Only a wizard
can get inside the cave.
Hmm. So they did.
What? Only wizards?
We're doomed, Terry-Terry.
That's what the orchids said.
But maybe the orchids
can be a little melodramatic.
I will guard this key
with my life.
Or I'll just run away with it,
if it's easier.
Dingo, stop!
Tie them all up
and go and get my blimp back.
Turn left two centimeters.
In approximately
three millimeters, turn right.
Come on.
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
So how did you get that key?
I don't know.
The orchids just let me in.
Maybe I could be
a wizard too.
No, think about it.
Orchids, the kiss, the rabbit...
- What rabbit?
- My blimp being Grump's blimp.
My grandma being all alone.
Okay, but how do you
cast spells then?
Well, I mean,
obviously, it's...
Abracadabra!
Hocus pocus.
Grump is gonna
destroy the key.
We need to think
of something fast.
We need to hurry up!
Chop-chop!
Say that again.
Chop-chop? Huh?
Keys, chop-chop.
Oops.
Bip's nose!
And the keys.
Oh, well done, Bip.
Looks like your magic
isn't necessary this time.
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Let's put an end to happiness.
Terry, be careful!
I'm a wizard.
I can do this.
Chop-chop!
Thank you, you fool.
Maybe not.
Dawn must go!
Chop-chop.
Uh-oh.
The key. It's broken.
Well, I think
we did quite well.
Almost saved my kingdom
and almost sent you back home.
Yeah, we came close.
And it sorta seems
as though you were right.
Perhaps I don't need a prince
to save me after all.
And you don't need the key
to go back home.
- Huh?
- There's your blimp!
Use your magic and say,
"Chop-chop!"
It's dangerous.
Come with me.
I am the queen.
I must stay.
Dawn must go! Dawn must go!
Dawn must go! Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
Dawn must go!
I'll stay here with you.
Hooray!
What happened?
We found happiness.
It only works
when you're ready to let it go.
Nooo!
You!
Get him!
That's...
A young man.
Oh.
Mary.
Ohh...
My Grandma Mary,
your girl,
she could never return
to your world,
so she built this park
as a way to remember you.
Oh, Mary.
I only wanted
to make everyone happy.
We still can.
Grandpa.
Two minutes to the final show!
Just two minutes!
It meant a lot
that you could come.
I'd like you to meet
my parents.
Dad, this is Dawn.
Oh, charmed.
Oh, hello.
Where's Mum?
Jocelyn, honey?
Oh!
Hello.
Oh!
Nice meeting you.
Oh, and you must be
Terry's fiancé.
No, um...
It's a little too early
for that.
We've only known
each other a month.
Can I, uh...
Of course.
Well, we love what you did
to the park here.
See you later.
Come on, Malcolm.
How's everything going
back home?
People are very happy
with the changes I've suggested.
Me like pay when me works.
And soon we'll be having grammar
classes for everyone too.
Oh, no!
Here comes the Grump!
You blasted kids,
I'll get you all!
Dingo, attack!
Ha ha!
This is the best
amusement park ever!
Whoo!
Waah!
Oh, chop-chop.
Ah, first month
of the reopening,
and we've already paid off
all our debts.
Not bad, Terry, not bad.
Thanks, and not bad
for the ol' Grump either.
Whoa!
I got you, you rascals!
♪ We used to go
where no one dared to go ♪
♪ And now you chase
the dragon on your own ♪
♪ She used to suck
the fun out of me ♪
♪ Beware the dog who's selling
songs about defeat ♪
♪ Begging for love
but you're old enough ♪
♪ To know better
than you know ♪
♪ You hate so much
and you're better off alone ♪
Here comes the Grump!
Here comes the Grump!
♪ She used to suck
the life out of me ♪
♪ We used to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now it's all just hazy ♪
♪ We used to walk
where the wild things grow ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ We used to go
where the cool kids go ♪
♪ But now you're
just too lazy ♪
♪ We just to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy ♪
Whoo!
♪ Beware the ghost
who lives on Salamander Road ♪
♪ Trapped in a cloud of smoke ♪
♪ It's old enough to know
better than it knows ♪
♪ Ate so much, you better
leave that jerk alone ♪
♪ She used to suck
the life out of me ♪
♪ We used to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now it's all just hazy ♪
♪ We used to walk
where the wild things grow ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ We used to go
where the cool kids go ♪
♪ But now you're
just too lazy ♪
♪ We just to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy ♪
Whoo!
Go, go, go!
Go, go, go!
Go, go, go!
Go, go, go!
♪ She used to suck the ♪
♪ Fun out of me ♪
♪ We just to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ We used to walk
where the wild things grow ♪
♪ But now it's all just hazy ♪
♪ We used to go
where the cool kids go ♪
♪ But now you're
just too lazy ♪
♪ We just to joke
and it felt like home ♪
♪ But now you're acting crazy ♪
♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy ♪
Whoo!
Subtitles by explosiveskull