A Snitch in Time (1950) - full transcript
The stooges are carpenters who are re-staining some furniture they've delivered to a boarding house. The plot gets complicated when the boys confront some crooks who are hiding out there. They defeat the bad guys with the help of the varnished furniture which sticks the head crook to a chair.
[♪]
[CIRCULAR SAW WHIRRING]
[WHISTLING]
Hey, Moe, Moe.
What?
I finished the drawer.
Well, what do you want me
to do, kiss you?
Well--
Go on!
Put it over there.
Perfect fit.
Ooh! Ooh!
Oh, stubborn, eh?
[CHUCKLES]
Ooh!
Oh, yeah?
I'll close this thing.
People think I don't know
what I'm doing, eh?
Hey, how are you
gonna open--?
With these helpers,
I'm helpless.
Get the nails out of there,
you nitwit!
[CHUCKLES]
[PHONE RINGS]
I'll get it.
Ooh!
Hello? The boss?
Just a second.
It's for you.
You dope.
Ye Olde Furniture Shoppe.
Moe Howard speaking.
Oh, Miss Scudder,
how's every little thing?
Well, not so good,
Mr. Howard.
You promised to deliver
my furniture two weeks ago.
I have three new boarders
moving in today,
and I've simply got
to have that furniture.
Now, don't worry
your pretty little head.
We'll have all your
stuff there before sundown.
That's a promise.
I hope you're not mad
at me, Miss Scudder,
because I think
you're just about
the cutest bunch
of curls I've ever seen.
[GIGGLES]
Yeah, you know something,
Miss Scudder?
You're just my type.
Hey, Moe--
Shut up!
Not you, Miss Scudder.
How's about you and I
having dinner tonight?
I know a place where they
turn out a nifty cheeseburger.
Hey, Moe.
Mm!
Put on your best
bib and tucker.
I--
[GRUMBLES]
[GROWLS]
[HISSES]
Yeah, we'll do the town.
Don't forget, kid,
we've got a date.
No, you ain't. Look.
Why didn't you
say something?
Ooh!
Hey, weasel brain,
change jobs
with this buttonhead.
Go on.
[BONES CRACK]
Oh!
Well, goodbye, Miss--
[GROANS]
Boy, glue those
boards together.
What do you know?
I've been promoted.
Yes, sir.
Take over.
I want that board
smooth enough to dance on.
Right.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
[GROANING]
When I want a haircut,
I'll go to a barbershop.
Ah!
[GASPS]
How do you like that?
I drew a blank.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Ah!
That's no blank.
Here, go stuff
a mattress.
I don't want no more trouble
with you. Go ahead.
Camel's-hair brush? Hm.
Must be the hump.
Glue.
And you did it.
Now you get it open.
I can't.
Okay. Hold this.
Ooh!
Okay, open your eye.
I still can't open it.
Do something about it.
Hey, this is
pretty serious.
Hey, Larry,
bring the chisel.
The what?
The chisel.
What do you want with it?
Go on, drop it.
Get some proper tools here.
All right...
Get this eye open
or I'll annihilate you.
Hey, take it easy. Now, we know
what we're doing.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Don't make any noise.
You make me nervous.
I'll make you nervous.
Come on, get this eye open
before I murder you.
There's a way,
there's a way.
Steady.
Oh!
How was that?
Pretty good. Why--
Get that brush off.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Steady.
Steady, now.
Just take it easy.
Put your hand up.
It's stuck.
Hold your hand up there.
Let me get it.
[GRUNTING]
Oh! Oh!
Are you all right,
Moe?
No. He's stuck again.
Yeah, with you guys.
Ooh!
Oh!
Get this thing off
or I'll murder you.
All right, all right.
Don't get excited.
Get a hammer.
What are you guys
gonna do?
We'll get it off.
There's only one way. We know.
All right, now,
come on, get back here.
Give me a hand.
Okay, there.
What are you gonna do?
Oh! Oh! Oh!
That won't do it.
That won't do it.
I'll get something else.
Go ahead.
Attaboy, there it is.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
What, is it dull?
I'll murder you.
All right.
Here, this might do it.
[CREAKING]
Oh!
We did it.
Oh, that's it.
What do you know?
[ALL LAUGH]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[GRUNTING]
Well,
the furniture's beautiful,
but I-- I wanted it
stained dark walnut.
Oh, don't give that
a thought.
We'll do the job
right here.
Hey, bean brain,
open up that walnut stain.
Well, I hope you do
a good job.
We sure will.
You won't recognize the stuff.
Oh, Miss Scudder,
I'm sure glad
about you getting
them boarders.
Oh, I can use that money,
all right,
with my tax bill
coming due.
I almost had to sell
the family heirlooms.
Oh, Mr. Pent!
Pipe down.
What's going on in there?
It's just the men
with the furniture.
They won't disturb you.
They'd better not.
Me and my friends
like complete quiet,
and we don't
like strangers.
[PHONE RINGS]
That's for me.
I'm expecting a call.
Hello? Yeah, speaking.
Beat it.
Okay, Steve,
what's the dope?
The jewelry store deal
went off okay, Jerry.
Boy, you should have seen
that old guy shake
with the gat in his ribs.
Never mind reminiscing.
Grab a cab.
I'll wait for you here.
[CUCKOOING]
Hm.
Loafing on the job, eh?
What do you mean loafing?
I gotta finish
painting the cuckoo,
and he won't be out again
until 4:00.
I'll take care of that.
[CUCKOOING]
Hm.
I'll move it to 12:00
and paint him
from head to toe.
Never mind. We got a real job
on our hands with that table.
Come on.
[GRUNTS]
[CUCKOO SPITS]
How do you like that?
He gave me the drippings.
All hands to the table.
Aye, aye, ho!
Hands to the table!
Come on,
get around.
LARRY:
Hands on the table.
Get around here.
SHEMP: Right here.
All right, all right.
Here, get that
off the table.
We got a job to do.
All right,
I'll go with the grain.
Right.
Hey!
Uh-- Oh, quite unintentional,
old boy.
Yeah, well, watch it.
That goes for you too--
What's the matter
with you?
[CLUCKS TONGUE]
Mm!
Oh!
That's the way you--
[GRUNTS]
Why, you...
Does my head
look like hardwood?
Well...
Ah.
I didn't say it did.
Well, you thought it.
Well, I'm sorry, Moe.
Will you shake hands?
Okay.
Again.
Heh. Well...
What's the matter
with you?
Clean up that face.
All right.
Clean yours up.
You boys have been working
so hard,
I thought I'd fix you
a bite to eat.
Oh, that's wonderful,
Miss Scudder.
Oh, boy, eats.
Let's knock off.
We ain't got time.
We gotta eat while we work.
Come on.
Now this time,
for a change,
get some stain
on the table.
Hey, imbecile,
don't you know
what you're doing
to my coffee?
Oh, I'm sorry. Here,
take mine. I don't use it.
[SPITS]
[SPITS]
[SPUTTERING]
Clean me up
on the double.
What did you do, you...?
Clean me up.
Here you are. Don't worry.
Don't worry your little pretty
head. There, we'll--
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
[SNICKERING]
[CHUCKLING]
Oh!
Oh!
Get out of here.
Go on,
finish up that table
while I clean off
this mess!
You imbeciles, you.
Uh-oh.
I wonder how the third race
came out at Jamaica.
RADIO ANNOUNCER:
Flash. Two armed bandits
held up employees
at the Hendrix Jewelry Store
and escaped with loot
estimated at $50,000.
A $5000 reward is offered
for information leading
to the capture of the two men.
Five thousand dollars?
That's right.
One man is 6'2",
heavily built
and has a scar
on his left cheek.
The other is of medium height
and weight,
age about 30,
and wore a brown suit and hat.
One moment, please.
Six-foot-two,
heavily built,
and a scar
on his left cheek.
Oh, if I could only
get my hands on him.
Hi.
Get away from there.
Bump them off, Steve. I think
they're a couple of flatfeet.
No, go get Jerry.
I'll take care of these guys.
They try any tricks,
let them have it.
Now, behave yourself and you
won't get in any trouble.
SHEMP:
Hey, you better not--
Shut up
and sit down.
LARRY:
Oh.
We've enjoyed our brief
stay here, Miss Scudder.
And thanks for the tip
about the family heirlooms.
Ah! How you guys--?
Oh, what's the big idea,
always sitting down?
Here, take this scraper.
Stick 'em up.
Nyah!
Whoa!
[BOTH WHIMPERING]
[GUNSHOT]
Hey, you! Whoa!
Whoa! Come on, hey,
we're in a nest of crooks.
Come on!
Get out of the way!
[ALL SCREAM]
[STOOGES WHIMPERING]
Move it.
Hey, wait a minute.
Don't use that.
It's got a crack in it.
Here.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[SIZZLING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Aah! Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Go ahead.
Oh!
Go around the other way.
Hey, head them off.
Ah!
Out of the way, sister.
[SIZZLING]
[SCREAMS]
Aah!
[WHIMPERING]
[GRUNTS]
Ow!
[LAUGHS]
Oh! Moe! Oh!
[ALL GRUNTING]
Aah!
Ah!
Wait.
Congratulations.
Ha-ha!
See if anybody's there.
Ow!
He's alive!
Aah!
You know,
you shouldn't have--
I'm sorry, Moe.
I didn't mean it.
Speak to me, kid.
Speak to--
STEVE:
Horn in, will you?
MOE: Cut it out.
STEVE: I'll teach you.
This'll fix you.
MOE:
Oh! Ow!
LARRY:
Ow! Hey! Oh!
Hey!
Oh, you're killing me.
Cut it out.
MOE: I'm a citizen.
LARRY: Stop it.
Help!
Shemp! Help!
[KNOCKING]
MOE: Police!
[LARRY GROANS]
MOE: Hey!
LARRY: Oh!
MOE:
What's the matter
with you?
Where are they?
LARRY:
Hey! Oh! Hey!
Whoa!
Oh, there they are!
One side, coppers.
We're getting
out of here.
[ALL GRUNTING]
MOE:
All right, clean up the mess.
Go on,
get up out of there.
Oh!
What are you doing here?
We got the sparklers
right here.
There's another skunk
in that room.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, you boys
were wonderful.
I wouldn't say that.
Just excellent.
I was great,
wasn't I?
You?
Hey.
Get out.
We really
didn't need the cops.
All I had to do
was pull this here rope.
Oh, I'm sorry, Moe.
Oh, Moe.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Get out of here,
or I'll crown the both of you.
Wait a minute-- Oh!
[♪]
[CIRCULAR SAW WHIRRING]
[WHISTLING]
Hey, Moe, Moe.
What?
I finished the drawer.
Well, what do you want me
to do, kiss you?
Well--
Go on!
Put it over there.
Perfect fit.
Ooh! Ooh!
Oh, stubborn, eh?
[CHUCKLES]
Ooh!
Oh, yeah?
I'll close this thing.
People think I don't know
what I'm doing, eh?
Hey, how are you
gonna open--?
With these helpers,
I'm helpless.
Get the nails out of there,
you nitwit!
[CHUCKLES]
[PHONE RINGS]
I'll get it.
Ooh!
Hello? The boss?
Just a second.
It's for you.
You dope.
Ye Olde Furniture Shoppe.
Moe Howard speaking.
Oh, Miss Scudder,
how's every little thing?
Well, not so good,
Mr. Howard.
You promised to deliver
my furniture two weeks ago.
I have three new boarders
moving in today,
and I've simply got
to have that furniture.
Now, don't worry
your pretty little head.
We'll have all your
stuff there before sundown.
That's a promise.
I hope you're not mad
at me, Miss Scudder,
because I think
you're just about
the cutest bunch
of curls I've ever seen.
[GIGGLES]
Yeah, you know something,
Miss Scudder?
You're just my type.
Hey, Moe--
Shut up!
Not you, Miss Scudder.
How's about you and I
having dinner tonight?
I know a place where they
turn out a nifty cheeseburger.
Hey, Moe.
Mm!
Put on your best
bib and tucker.
I--
[GRUMBLES]
[GROWLS]
[HISSES]
Yeah, we'll do the town.
Don't forget, kid,
we've got a date.
No, you ain't. Look.
Why didn't you
say something?
Ooh!
Hey, weasel brain,
change jobs
with this buttonhead.
Go on.
[BONES CRACK]
Oh!
Well, goodbye, Miss--
[GROANS]
Boy, glue those
boards together.
What do you know?
I've been promoted.
Yes, sir.
Take over.
I want that board
smooth enough to dance on.
Right.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
[GROANING]
When I want a haircut,
I'll go to a barbershop.
Ah!
[GASPS]
How do you like that?
I drew a blank.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Ah!
That's no blank.
Here, go stuff
a mattress.
I don't want no more trouble
with you. Go ahead.
Camel's-hair brush? Hm.
Must be the hump.
Glue.
And you did it.
Now you get it open.
I can't.
Okay. Hold this.
Ooh!
Okay, open your eye.
I still can't open it.
Do something about it.
Hey, this is
pretty serious.
Hey, Larry,
bring the chisel.
The what?
The chisel.
What do you want with it?
Go on, drop it.
Get some proper tools here.
All right...
Get this eye open
or I'll annihilate you.
Hey, take it easy. Now, we know
what we're doing.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Don't make any noise.
You make me nervous.
I'll make you nervous.
Come on, get this eye open
before I murder you.
There's a way,
there's a way.
Steady.
Oh!
How was that?
Pretty good. Why--
Get that brush off.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Steady.
Steady, now.
Just take it easy.
Put your hand up.
It's stuck.
Hold your hand up there.
Let me get it.
[GRUNTING]
Oh! Oh!
Are you all right,
Moe?
No. He's stuck again.
Yeah, with you guys.
Ooh!
Oh!
Get this thing off
or I'll murder you.
All right, all right.
Don't get excited.
Get a hammer.
What are you guys
gonna do?
We'll get it off.
There's only one way. We know.
All right, now,
come on, get back here.
Give me a hand.
Okay, there.
What are you gonna do?
Oh! Oh! Oh!
That won't do it.
That won't do it.
I'll get something else.
Go ahead.
Attaboy, there it is.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
What, is it dull?
I'll murder you.
All right.
Here, this might do it.
[CREAKING]
Oh!
We did it.
Oh, that's it.
What do you know?
[ALL LAUGH]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[GRUNTING]
Well,
the furniture's beautiful,
but I-- I wanted it
stained dark walnut.
Oh, don't give that
a thought.
We'll do the job
right here.
Hey, bean brain,
open up that walnut stain.
Well, I hope you do
a good job.
We sure will.
You won't recognize the stuff.
Oh, Miss Scudder,
I'm sure glad
about you getting
them boarders.
Oh, I can use that money,
all right,
with my tax bill
coming due.
I almost had to sell
the family heirlooms.
Oh, Mr. Pent!
Pipe down.
What's going on in there?
It's just the men
with the furniture.
They won't disturb you.
They'd better not.
Me and my friends
like complete quiet,
and we don't
like strangers.
[PHONE RINGS]
That's for me.
I'm expecting a call.
Hello? Yeah, speaking.
Beat it.
Okay, Steve,
what's the dope?
The jewelry store deal
went off okay, Jerry.
Boy, you should have seen
that old guy shake
with the gat in his ribs.
Never mind reminiscing.
Grab a cab.
I'll wait for you here.
[CUCKOOING]
Hm.
Loafing on the job, eh?
What do you mean loafing?
I gotta finish
painting the cuckoo,
and he won't be out again
until 4:00.
I'll take care of that.
[CUCKOOING]
Hm.
I'll move it to 12:00
and paint him
from head to toe.
Never mind. We got a real job
on our hands with that table.
Come on.
[GRUNTS]
[CUCKOO SPITS]
How do you like that?
He gave me the drippings.
All hands to the table.
Aye, aye, ho!
Hands to the table!
Come on,
get around.
LARRY:
Hands on the table.
Get around here.
SHEMP: Right here.
All right, all right.
Here, get that
off the table.
We got a job to do.
All right,
I'll go with the grain.
Right.
Hey!
Uh-- Oh, quite unintentional,
old boy.
Yeah, well, watch it.
That goes for you too--
What's the matter
with you?
[CLUCKS TONGUE]
Mm!
Oh!
That's the way you--
[GRUNTS]
Why, you...
Does my head
look like hardwood?
Well...
Ah.
I didn't say it did.
Well, you thought it.
Well, I'm sorry, Moe.
Will you shake hands?
Okay.
Again.
Heh. Well...
What's the matter
with you?
Clean up that face.
All right.
Clean yours up.
You boys have been working
so hard,
I thought I'd fix you
a bite to eat.
Oh, that's wonderful,
Miss Scudder.
Oh, boy, eats.
Let's knock off.
We ain't got time.
We gotta eat while we work.
Come on.
Now this time,
for a change,
get some stain
on the table.
Hey, imbecile,
don't you know
what you're doing
to my coffee?
Oh, I'm sorry. Here,
take mine. I don't use it.
[SPITS]
[SPITS]
[SPUTTERING]
Clean me up
on the double.
What did you do, you...?
Clean me up.
Here you are. Don't worry.
Don't worry your little pretty
head. There, we'll--
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
[SNICKERING]
[CHUCKLING]
Oh!
Oh!
Get out of here.
Go on,
finish up that table
while I clean off
this mess!
You imbeciles, you.
Uh-oh.
I wonder how the third race
came out at Jamaica.
RADIO ANNOUNCER:
Flash. Two armed bandits
held up employees
at the Hendrix Jewelry Store
and escaped with loot
estimated at $50,000.
A $5000 reward is offered
for information leading
to the capture of the two men.
Five thousand dollars?
That's right.
One man is 6'2",
heavily built
and has a scar
on his left cheek.
The other is of medium height
and weight,
age about 30,
and wore a brown suit and hat.
One moment, please.
Six-foot-two,
heavily built,
and a scar
on his left cheek.
Oh, if I could only
get my hands on him.
Hi.
Get away from there.
Bump them off, Steve. I think
they're a couple of flatfeet.
No, go get Jerry.
I'll take care of these guys.
They try any tricks,
let them have it.
Now, behave yourself and you
won't get in any trouble.
SHEMP:
Hey, you better not--
Shut up
and sit down.
LARRY:
Oh.
We've enjoyed our brief
stay here, Miss Scudder.
And thanks for the tip
about the family heirlooms.
Ah! How you guys--?
Oh, what's the big idea,
always sitting down?
Here, take this scraper.
Stick 'em up.
Nyah!
Whoa!
[BOTH WHIMPERING]
[GUNSHOT]
Hey, you! Whoa!
Whoa! Come on, hey,
we're in a nest of crooks.
Come on!
Get out of the way!
[ALL SCREAM]
[STOOGES WHIMPERING]
Move it.
Hey, wait a minute.
Don't use that.
It's got a crack in it.
Here.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[SIZZLING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Aah! Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Go ahead.
Oh!
Go around the other way.
Hey, head them off.
Ah!
Out of the way, sister.
[SIZZLING]
[SCREAMS]
Aah!
[WHIMPERING]
[GRUNTS]
Ow!
[LAUGHS]
Oh! Moe! Oh!
[ALL GRUNTING]
Aah!
Ah!
Wait.
Congratulations.
Ha-ha!
See if anybody's there.
Ow!
He's alive!
Aah!
You know,
you shouldn't have--
I'm sorry, Moe.
I didn't mean it.
Speak to me, kid.
Speak to--
STEVE:
Horn in, will you?
MOE: Cut it out.
STEVE: I'll teach you.
This'll fix you.
MOE:
Oh! Ow!
LARRY:
Ow! Hey! Oh!
Hey!
Oh, you're killing me.
Cut it out.
MOE: I'm a citizen.
LARRY: Stop it.
Help!
Shemp! Help!
[KNOCKING]
MOE: Police!
[LARRY GROANS]
MOE: Hey!
LARRY: Oh!
MOE:
What's the matter
with you?
Where are they?
LARRY:
Hey! Oh! Hey!
Whoa!
Oh, there they are!
One side, coppers.
We're getting
out of here.
[ALL GRUNTING]
MOE:
All right, clean up the mess.
Go on,
get up out of there.
Oh!
What are you doing here?
We got the sparklers
right here.
There's another skunk
in that room.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, you boys
were wonderful.
I wouldn't say that.
Just excellent.
I was great,
wasn't I?
You?
Hey.
Get out.
We really
didn't need the cops.
All I had to do
was pull this here rope.
Oh, I'm sorry, Moe.
Oh, Moe.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Get out of here,
or I'll crown the both of you.
Wait a minute-- Oh!
[♪]