A Gruesome Twosome (1945) - full transcript

Two cats (one a caricature of Jimmy Durante) battle violently for the affections of a pretty girl cat, who'll dispense her favors on the one who brings her a little bird. Unfortunately for the lovestruck felines, the bird in question is a vicious little thing named Tweety.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

WARNER BROS.

[BOY CAT SINGING

INCOMPREHENSIBLY]

Girl cat:

♪ MEOW ♪

UH-UH.

♪ MEOW ♪

[BOY CAT

CONTINUES SINGING]

Girl cat:

♪ MEOW ♪

[BOY CAT

CONTINUES SINGING]

♪ MEOW ♪

♪ NO, NO ♪

[SINGING

INCOMPREHENSIBLY]

[BOING]

WELL, INKY-DINKY-DO.

YOU SAY YOU'RE

KINDA LONELY.

YA SAY YOU CRAVE

ROMANCE?

YOU SAY THAT YOU

GO GA-GA

OVER ANYTHING IN PANTS?

WELL, HOT

CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA.

UH, H-HEY,

PARDON ME, FRIEND,

BUT THAT'S

MY GOIL.

BEAT IT, BUB.

I'M WOIKIN'

THIS SIDE OF THE ALLEY.

DO YOU WANT

A SKY-HIGH PENTHOUSE?

DO YOU WANT

A KING-SIZE CAR?

DO YOU WANT

TO BE IN PICTURES?

DO YOU WANT

TO BE A STAR?

UH... UH...

PARDON ME, COLONEL,

BUT THAT IS...

STEP ASIDE, SON.

YOU BOTHER ME.

COME WITH ME

TO THE CASH BAR,

INCOGNITO, BABY.

WE CAN'T MISS.

YOU'D LIKE A PAIR

OF NYLONS, HUH?

THEN, HONEY,

HOW'S ABOUT A KISS?

[GIGGLES]

[SIGHS]

[WHISKERS SOUNDING

LIKE SANDPAPER]

[SCUFFLING]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I DON'T ACTUALLY

BELONG IN THIS PICTURE,

BUT I CAN'T PASS UP

A CHANCE LIKE THIS!

MMM... MUHH!

YIPPEE!

WHOO-HOO!

EVERYBODY WANTS

TO GET INTO THE ACT!

OOH! BRIACO!

IT'S DISGUSTIN'!

[SNARLING]

HEAVENS!

ARE YOU BOYS FIGHTING?

FIGHTING?

WELL, NO...

I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

WHOEVER BRINGS ME

A LITTLE BIRD

CAN BE MY FELLA.

FELLA?!

[BOTH WHISTLE]

GET ON YOUR MARKS.

HOT CHA-CHA-

CHA-CHA.

GET SET.

HOT CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA!

GO!

[CLANG]

A BOID'S NEST.

YOU KNOW...

I THOUGHT I TAW

A PUDDY TAT.

HEY...

I THOUGHT I TAW

ANOTHER PUDDY TAT!

I DID! I DID!

I TAW 2 PUDDY TATS!

HAVE YOU

2 PUDDY TATS MET?

MROWWW!

ROWWLL!

YEOW!

YAAAHH!

YAAAHHH!

BOMBS AWAY!

AW... THE POOR

PUDDY TATS!

THEY FALL DOWN,

GO BOOM!

♪ I T'OUGHT I TAW

A PUDDY TAT ♪

♪ PUDDY TAT,

PUDDY TAT ♪

UH, HEY, UH...

♪ I T'OUGHT I TAW

A PUDDY TAT ♪

[BAM]

♪ A-RIKKI-PIKKI-PIKKI

PIKKI PUDDY TAT ♪

♪ PUDDY TAT,

PUDDY TAT ♪

♪ A-RIKKI-PIKKI-PIKKI

PUDDY TAT ♪

♪ A-RIKKI-PIKKI-

PIKKI PIK ♪

[BOING]

HOLD IT, SNOOKS.

WE'RE GETTIN'

NOWHERE FAST.

WE GOTTA USE

STRAGETY.

DUH, UH, YEAH...

STA-STRATEDY.

DUH... UH, YEAH,

WHAT... WHAT YOU SAID.

NOW I'LL TELL YOU

WHAT WE'LL DO.

HOW IS THIS?

[NO AUDIO]

AND FOITHERMORE...

[NO AUDIO]

[THE OLD GRAY MARE PLAYS]

SHH!

IT'S ME.

I'M THE HORSE'S HEAD.

HOT CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA.

[BUZZING ANGRILY]

[BEE BUZZES]

[LONE RANGER THEME PLAYS]

HI-HO, SILVER,

AWAY!

[WHINNYING]

TIMBER.

♪ I KNOW I TAW

A PUDDY TAT ♪

♪ A PUDDY TAT,

A PUDDY TAT ♪

SHH!

HERE COMES

THE NAKED GENIUS NOW.

I'LL TELL YOU

WHAT WE'LL DO.

COME HERE.

[NO AUDIO]

AND FOITHERMORE...

[NO AUDIO]

[GROWLING]

[SNARLING

AND GROWLING]

[CATS SCREECHING,

DOG BARKING]

YOU KNOW, I GET WID

OF MORE PUDDY TATS

THAT WAY.

HOT CHA-CHA-CHA-

CHA-CHA-CHA!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

WARNER BROS.