A Good Man in Africa (1994) Movie Script

I suppose there are a few

compensations about living here.

Bea is pretty good,

and there's always Hazel.

You go be late.

Oh, come on, Hazel.

Just a quick one.

You must go for work.

Three years in the tropics,

and still no sign of a tan.

I'll just have to wait

until all my freckles join up.

I wonder what London did

with my file.

Lost it, I suppose.

I'll be here forever.

Hi.

Hi, Sir.

Watchum car?

Yes. Watchum good.

See you next time.

Bye.

Fill in the form,

and bring it back by Monday.

Don't forget.

What the hell's going on,

Kojo?

Christmas is coming, Sir.

The birth of our Lord Jesus.

Down, all of it.

Down?

You mean--

Every last ribbon.

Every... strip of tinsel.

But I thought all white men

like Christmas, Sir.

You were misinformed.

I loath and despise Christmas.

I... abominate Christmas!

- Morning!

- Hello, Dickie.

Cutting it a bit fine,

aren't you?

What?

Aren't you meant to be

at the airport?

Everything's under control.

I'm allowing for

African flight schedules.

Ah! Masterful.

Oh, ah, these

need your signature.

Visa applications.

Step on it, Peter,

we're late!

Yes, Sir.

Why are you

bloody stopping?

Sir, the street, I must--

Drive on, man,

for Christ's sake!

You maniac!

Watch where you're going!

You're not in

the bloody bush now!

And move that wreck.

This is

an official car on--

You aren't talking to me,

are you, sonny?

Ah... yes, well, perhaps

I was a little hasty--

You dosey bastard.

You're very lucky

you're not mincemeat.

Sorry.

All right.

Jesus!

That's Alex Murray,

isn't it?

Yes, Sir.

That's him.

A very good man.

- That's me, of course.

- It's not valid.

Not valid? How could

it be bloody invalid?

I'm a diplomat!

He's the British

High Commissioner, you idiot.

He must go back to London

for residence permit.

Go back?

Don't be bloody stupid!

It's out of the question.

I'll have your job.

I happen to be the

British High Commissioner.

Oh, Leafy, thank God.

Talk to this fellow,

will you?

I can't enter the bloody

country. Don't even want

to enter the damn place.

This wouldn't have happened

in the old days.

Damn right.

It appears this problem

of the visa can be overcome...

Ah!

With a payment

of 50 pounds.

What? Impossible!

Absolutely

out of the question.

It might be advisable,

Arthur.

He did mention the possibility

of an anal search.

Oh.

Welcome.

Oh, no! No, no.

I thought, who wants

Paris or Washington?

Africa's where

it's all happening.

So exciting!

There's all the... bush!

The animals!

I thought you'd been applying

for a transfer.

Transfer?

Don't be bloody silly.

Been trying to extend my term.

Enjoying yourself,

darling?

Mind if I steal this one

for a minute?

Leafy.

So, you were at Rodean!

My sister was at Rodean.

You know this chap

Sam Adekunle?

Adekunle.

Head of the K.N.P.

No, not personally.

They found these

bloody huge oil reserves

off the coast. Vast!

And we don't want

the French or the Yanks

or the Germans...

pumping the stuff out.

What do you propose

to do about it?

- Not me. You.

- Sorry, Arthur. What do

I propose to do about it?

Get to know Adekunle socially.

Influence him.

I need hardly tell you

that success here...

will be our passport

out of this place.

I'd like something

harsh, cruel and inexplicable

to happen to Fanshawe.

Something shocking

and arbitrary just to put him

in touch with real life again.

Supercilious twit!

Umbrella!

Friday!

Umbrella!

Jesus Christ!

Bloody--

Merde!

Mon dieu!

Ca va pas, monsieur?

Evening, Friday.

I'm home!

Je suis ici.

When I call

for an umbrella,

mon parapluie,

I expect you--

I always put your umbrella

on backseat of car, Sir.

Every day I tell you.

Oh. Well,

keep telling me.

Anyway, I want

a gin and tonic

tr?s vite--

Chop ready?

I'm starving.

No, Sir. No chop.

Why not?

Pourquoi?

Last night

you never come home.

Today you

never call me.

Oh.

It's just a few minutes, Sir.

I do les oeufs.

The K.N.P. will stamp out

the taking of bribes

and political corruption.

Do some sausages

with those oeufs, will you?

The K.N.P. will bring Kinjanja

pride and prosperity in Africa.

Ah... shit!

Bloody hell!

Stupid, fucking asshole!

Hello, Arthur, Chloe,

Priscilla.

Just showing Priscilla

around the nerve center.

What super

Christmas decorations!

What?

Oh!

Just one of my talents.

Cheers the place up...

bit of the Christmas spirit.

They're so artistically done!

Really? I just supervised

it all actually. The uh--

Good God!

What are you doing, man?

Sir, yesterday

you said to me...

to take down all the

Christmas decorations.

I said what?

Oh, nonsense!

Kojo, just leave them.

Now, come on.

Put that back up.

Come on, Kojo.

Chloe and I were years

in the East.

A beautiful elegant person,

your oriental.

Harmony, you know.

That's the back of it all.

The yin and yang.

Yin and yang, eh, Chloe?

Quite.

Of course such incidents as

the Tiananmen Square massacre...

could be said

to detract somewhat...

from the oriental reputation

for harmony.

In fairness, Mr. Adekunle,

Africa could hardly be said

to be a peaceful continent.

What of Europe,

Mr. Fanshawe?

Two world wars in one century,

and how many minor conflicts?

The Royal House of Windsor.

Not enjoying the show?

I, uh--

I thought I'd sit it out.

It's not

very British of you.

Nor of you!

I'm not British...

anymore.

Anyway,

it makes me homesick.

How are your plans coming

along with Sam Adekunle?

Oh! Um...

not too well actually.

Perhaps your Mr. Fanshawe

is something of a drawback.

That's always been the case.

No, it's getting anywhere near

Adekunle that's the problem.

We won't be getting him

back here again. The

Royal film should see to that.

Well, maybe

I could arrange something.

You could?

I mean...

you could?

I think so.

I'm Celia Adekunle,

Sam's wife.

Now the Queen,

with pages behind her,

goes down this Royal gallery.

People bow as she passes.

Women of the Bedchamber

on the right,

the Mistr?ss of the Robes,

the Duchess of Grafton--

Ha! That's it!

Nine-zero.

Yes, Sir?

I coming, Sir.

Morgan?

Mmm?

Just between us,

Chloe and I are a bit

concerned about Priscilla.

Priscilla?

Yes. She was engaged

to a chap.

Simon Latimer-Harvey.

Very good family.

Father's a rear admiral.

Would that be

Rear Admiral Latimer

The very same!

Then out of the blue,

last month he announces

it's all over,

and he's going to marry

this Malaysian girl.

In Singapore!

Can you imagine?

Incredible.

Yes.

So this trip's really a bit

of serious therapy for her.

You know your way

around here.

Show her the sights.

Just leave it to me, Arthur.

I'll see she gets a taste

of the local culture.

No, Morgan.

Not now.

Did daddy tell you,

by any chance, the real

reason I came this Christmas?

No. Actually...

I thought you

just wanted a holiday.

No. I--

Well, I was engaged

to this chap,

Simon Latimer-Harvey.

And one day, I just knew

it was all wrong.

I told him,

"Simon, it's over."

Just like that.

How long was it?

How long was what?

The engagement.

Oh! Two years.

But as I told him,

if you fall out of love...

you fall out of love!

You're an incredibly

attractive girl, Priscilla.

Incredibly.

You're the sweetest man.

But I'm not ready

for another involvement... yet.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Who the fuck are you?

What are you--

Hi, man. I'm Sonny.

What are you doing here?

I go be Hazel's brother.

She say I can go stay here

for this night.

Hazel's brother?

I didn't know she had one.

Yeah, man.

Same father, different wife.

Oh. Well, you can't

stay here I'm afraid.

This isn't Hazel's flat.

It's mine.

That's okay, man.

If you don't want me, I go.

So long.

Where's Hazel, anyway?

She's for here.

Look, just what the hell's

going on?

Can't you ever keep

this bloody place tidy?

Where's Sonny?

Sonny's gone.

Sonny's been kicked out.

For why?

"For why?" Because this

is my flat which I pay for.

Not some transit camp.

Sonny done be

my friend!

All the time I here

by myself and my friend

come to greet me.

You done shame for me.

Yes. Well, haven't you got

any women friends?

Why we never go out

like man and woman?

You tell me this.

Well--

Well, we will... soon.

It's just that--

I don't like going out much

because--

Well, because

I find we have...

much more fun

when we stay in.

Oh. Ow.

Oh, my God!

Can I help you, Sir?

Emergency.

You can't go up there.

British High Commission.

Emergency.

Ah! Excuse me,

I need to see the doc--

Dr. Murray!

I'm Morgan Leafy,

First Secretary of

the High Commission.

Oh, yes, the diplomat.

Mr. Leafy.

Sorry we've not had a chance

to get to know each other,

properly, that is.

Have you been

out here long?

Twenty-three years.

Oh.

Now, what can

I do for you?

Well, actually,

it's a little embarrassing.

You didn't see all the

people waiting outside?

Well--

yes, but I was a little

concerned, so--

So you just jumped

the queue of 150 people!

What's your problem?

Well... last night I went

to the lavatory and it was...

excruciatingly painful.

And there was, I think,

in fact there definitely was

some... discharge.

But it's only happened once.

Hasn't recurred.

Right.

Let's have a look.

What, you mean--

Here.

Come on.

Breeks down, the lot.

Um... see anything?

Nothing significant.

Any cankers?

Any what?

Sores, boils,

rashes.

Crabs

Good God, no!

All right.

You can get dressed.

What do you think?

Hopefully

it's nongonococcal.

That sounds ghastly.

It's probably

not too serious.

Here.

Shake the dew off the lily.

Over there.

Are you having sex

with anyone out here?

What?

Sex?

Mmm.

Oh, yes, there's, um...

there's this girl.

Girl?

A local girl...

that I see,

I mean... I have been

seeing for some while.

Do you use a sheath?

I think she's on the pill.

In fact, I'm sure she is.

You should always use a sheath.

It's a barrier

against infection.

This girl is

perfectly respectable!

So much the better.

We're all walking

on thin ice.

All of us.

Every little precaution helps.

Kinjanja!

I guess that's

the end of that.

So you made it!

Of course!

That's all

very fetching.

Thank you. Sam likes me

to wear it at political rallies.

Come with me.

All these political parties

in Kinjanja. There must be 30!

At least I made a big effort

to learn as little

as possible about them.

Incredible to think

British government policy

could be based on my report.

Wonderful speech!

Do you speak Kinjanjan?

No.

But the...

the tone, the mood!

Sit.

So?

Yes, um, we...

my government...

would be pleased

to arrange your travel

and accommodation...

if you could see

your way...

to visiting Britain

in the near future.

First-class air tickets

and a suite at Claridges?

Business-class,

we thought.

Oh, no, no!

No, first-class, of course.

My God.

Mr. Fanshawe must think of us

Africans in simplistic terms.

Yes!

Oh, no, no!

I mean...

simplistic in

the sense that...

we hold you in

the highest regard.

We'll see if my staff

can fit your offer

into my itinerary.

Itinerary? You mean--

When I've visited Paris,

Rome, Washington, Berlin,

there might be time

for a day or two in London.

Rome, Berlin, Washington

and Paris?

That's what he said.

If we don't get him to London,

I'll be spending my life

in this place!

It could be worse.

You could be in New Zealand!

That's it!

That's where they'll send me.

Do stop whingeing, Arthur.

Have another drink.

Aren't you dancing,

Morgie?

Me?

Who with?

Me, of course.

Come on, silly.

You know, the other day

I was a bit... standoffish.

Yes.

I feel different tonight.

More relaxed.

We could slip back

to your place for a drink.

I'm tired of dancing.

Right.

I'll just go

and powder my nose.

Evening, Doc!

Ah! Good evening.

By the way,

I'm feeling great.

No recurrence

of my little problem.

You obviously didn't get

my note.

Note?

No.

My initial diagnosis was wrong

about it being nongonococcal.

So it probably was.

Never mind, Doc,

you can't win 'em all.

You don't understand.

It's not...

nongonococcal.

What?

It is... gonococcal.

What does that mean?

You have an

unfamiliar bacillus.

Bacillus? Sounds like

the plague or something.

It could be a rare strain

of gonorrhea.

What?

What did you say?

A rare strain of--

No, no, no,

I understand.

I'll be doing further tests,

but meanwhile there

has to be a complete ban.

Ban?

Ban on what?

Alcohol. Sex.

Your two favorite pastimes.

Ready?

Morgie?

Some nights I just want

to do the wildest things.

Climb mountains barefoot.

Swim in phosphorus seas.

Search for lost cities.

Don't you ever feel

like that, Morgie?

Morgie,

you're not listening.

Sorry, Priss, I--

Look, maybe I should just

drop you off at home.

It's not far.

Very funny!

Stop teasing.

Oh...

look at that moon!

Africa! Africa!

Bloody Africa.

Morgie?

Priscilla,

there's something I--

I never thought

I'd feel like this again...

after Simon.

Never thought a man

would attract me again...

until you.

Priscilla,

I... I don't think

your parents...

would approve

of us.

Oh, my God.

Don't you think

I'm beautiful?

I feel beautiful!

Oh, please!

I want you, Morgie.

I want to give myself

to you.

Oh, Priscilla.

Oh, no.

Oh, please.

No. No, don't touch it!

Whatever you do,

don't touch it!

What?

What's going on?

What is it?

Priscilla, I--

I can't explain.

You see, I--

I thought it would

be better if we, you know,

got to know each other.

Take me home.

There is an explanation

for all this.

Please don't think--

I feel sorry

for men like you.

I'm just furious

I didn't see it earlier.

You're pathetic creatures,

with your big talk,

your sexy swagger.

Pathetic, weak, feeble

creatures!

I don't hate you, Morgan.

I pity you.

Yes!

Oh, yes, hello, Arthur.

What can I do

for you?

What

What's going on?

No, no. No, no.

I'll-- yes.

Innocence is dead.

Innocence is dead?

Do you mean we're all guilty?

Original sin,

that sort of thing?

Innocence, the maid!

She's dead.

Struck by lightning.

Absolutely ghastly.

Poor Innocence.

It's too, too ghastly.

Oh, yes, of course!

It's horrible!

What am I meant

to do about it?

There's a problem.

Kojo knows about it.

I can't deal with it.

I want you to sort it out.

Me? But--

Yes, you!

I can't make any sense

of the African mind. None.

Now the oriental--

Arthur, for goodness sake!

He's terribly upset.

Poor darling.

I'm afraid this has ruined

your lovely evening.

Good evening, Isaiah.

Don't touch the body, Sir!

Never touch her, Sir.

This be Shango killing.

Never touch the body.

Shango killing?

Who the hell is Shango?

Shango is God in sky.

Shango's the God of thunder,

the God of storm and lightning.

Shango has killed this woman.

Come on, Kojo,

you don't believe all that?

If anybody touch this woman,

it brings much trouble,

plenty Wahallah.

Plenty, Sir.

You no go die well.

Ah, here come the undertakers.

Sorry, chaps.

It's out of your hands now.

Shango! Shango!

This be Shango killing!

Shango!

Shango! Shango!

I don't believe it.

So, what do we do?

You must make one big Juju.

Bring the fetish priest here

for Shango.

All right, Kojo,

find me a fetish priest.

The family must do it, Sir.

All right.

Where's the family?

This is Ijeoma, Sir,

the sister to Innocence.

But, Sir,

she's got no money.

Well, I'll...

I'll lend her a few bob.

How much does she need?

Sir, a Juju man could be

20 thousand Janjans!

Twenty thousand?

Yes, Sir. She must find

all her relatives, and

they put the money together.

How long

will that take?

Maybe a week, Sir.

But what about

the body?

It must stay, Sir.

Shango.

Shango!

Shango! Shango!

- Yes. Died instantly.

The idea is that you come

to the doctor while

the patient is still alive.

What do

you mean?

You need an undertaker!

But, listen.

I just told you--

No! No way!

-Well, it's the opposite of yes.

But you don't understand.

I can't get anyone

to move the body.

Some crazy

religious idea.

Shango.

Nothing will happen until

the rites are performed.

Absolutely nothing.

All right?

Take a look around you,

Leafy.

Ask a few questions.

Find out about the place

you're living in.

What about the fucking

Hippocratic oath, eh?

You're meant to be a fucking

doctor, aren't you?

You mean-spirited,

selfish Scottish bastard!

Watch it, Murray. I warn you.

I won't be held responsible

for--

Aaah!

Never ever talk to me

like that, you little

English shit!

Or I'll rip your

fucking tongue out!

It's unbelievable!

A pagan religion at the

end of the 20th century.

Well, Arthur, I mean,

really at the end of the day,

is it any more ridiculous than

our religious notions?

Our sky God is tortured

to death and miraculously

comes back to life.

Bread and wine become

his flesh and blood.

I will not stand out here

and listen to you

spout heresy, Leafy!

All I'm concerned about

is the visit.

What visit?

The Royal visit.

What...

Royal visit?

In a few days, a close relative

of the Queen...

will be staying in the

residence's guest suite.

And I don't want her staring

out of her bedroom window

at a festering corpse!

What member

of the Royal family?

The Duchess of Ripon.

Never heard of her.

That is irrelevant.

She is 42nd in line

to the throne. A Royal!

Now, get that body

removed!

My knighthood's at stake,

and I'm holding you responsible.

Poor Innocence.

And to think

she's just lying there.

Such a

terrible business.

Go on,

give it a little twirl.

I hope there's some cut-price

Juju men hanging around

Nkongsamba these days.

Now, put the beard on.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

Just... take your trousers

off a minute.

I want to alter them.

Come on!

I haven't got all day.

I've, uh--

I've just remembered something

very important.

Something

I must... do.

Oh... God!

Oh... blast!

Ah!

You found the Juju man?

No, Sir,

not yet.

This come

for you, Sir.

Hmm?

So nice of you to

come over, Mr. Leafy.

I thought over

your proposal...

and decided to accept

your kind offer.

You'll visit London.

Excellent!

I'll arrange--

London... tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

That's a bit difficult.

I mean--

No, no, no, no, no.

Tomorrow will be fine.

First-class of course.

Yes, of course.

A suite at the Savoy, I think.

A suite overlooking the river.

Savoy. River.

Mm-hmm.

- And adjacent suites

for my assistants.

- Yes, assistants.

- Four.

- And they'll require

tickets too?

If I'm correct in assuming

that it's still a requirement

of British Airways.

One moment please.

Professor Adekunle.

So good doing business

with you, Mr. Leafy.

Something wrong?

No, no, no.

No. Apart from everything

else, I've just picked up...

this bloody suppurating

sexual disease...

because you've been knocking off

that bloody Sonny on the side,

I wouldn't wonder.

He's my brother!

I go tell you

a hundred time.

How am I supposed

to know that, eh?

But what of you?

You go sleep with

plenty, plenty woman!

You go after

that English girl!

That Priscilla.

What I do

is my own business!

I go then.

You keep your apartment

for you and your

sick-looking white girls.

Hazel. Hazel!

Hazel!

She wants me to

take her to some of the Embassy

parties, that's what she wants.

Disaster! I can imagine

Fanshawe's prissy voice...

when he finds out I met her

in a downtown bar!

Just a bit upset,

that's all.

Lots of things going wrong.

You think I be

just a tap-tap girl.

Now, Hazel, I never called

you a tap

There.

Now that's better.

Hazel,

you don't believe in that

witch doctor stuff do you?

That old stuff?

No!

That's for Bush people.

I modern girl!

What do you think of all

this Shango business?

Shango? He most powerful God.

Don't make him angry.

He make plenty wahallah for you.

I think

he already has.

Mr. Leafy, the doctor

will see you now.

How-- how serious

is this?

I mean, will there be

any facial disfigurement?

I hear nostrils are the first

thing to go, sort of rot away.

Or loss of sanity.

That sort of thing.

No.

Good news.

You're all clear.

Oh, thank God!

I--

But I...

I don't understand.

The pain was--

it was agonizing, excruciating.

Well, we found nothing

significant except--

Except what?

The urine had an unusually

high alcohol content.

Oh, that!

Ha! I can handle that.

It's the other stuff

that terrified me.

I see.

Listen, if you go around

indiscriminately

dipping your wick,

you get infected!

What is it

about Murray that makes me

want to dash out his brains?

Run him over with his car?

Hack him into dog meat

with a machete?

Who do you think you are,

my father? Some sort

of moral storm trooper?

I'm not a child.

You can't lecture me.

Yes, I can!

If you listen to what

I have to say, I might

never have to see you again.

That would be better

than money in the bank.

Perish the thought.

Your gin and tonic, Sir.

Drowning your sorrows?

Ah! I, uh...

I think I'm celebrating.

I had some tropical bug,

but it's all gone now.

What about you?

Working hard?

Hard as usual.

Sam's out of town

on business.

I know.

What do you mean?

He's in London.

London?

Yes. Well,

we invited him. I--

I'm sorry.

I assumed you knew.

So I'm even more at a

loose end than I thought.

Anyway, what are you doing

on Friday evening?

I thought I'd write

a chapter or two of my novel.

Absolutely nothing.

Why don't you come and

have a drink with me then?

7:00?

I was just scraping by

on a student grant.

And suddenly there was Sam

on the staff, and we all

fell in love with him.

Anyway, we were all after him,

and I got him!

After a while,

we went to America.

That was okay.

And then we came here...

and things changed.

Why?

Oh, come on,

you must've noticed!

Here they treat him like a God!

And that makes him

different.

It's just so hard.

And then there are the women

who are everywhere.

I suppose he'll be taking one

of his girlfriends to London,

one of his assistants.

Mmm.

Let's not talk about Sam

anymore.

Everyone's always talking

about Sam.

Let's talk about you...

and me.

What--

You're back.

How perceptive of you,

Mr. Leafy.

And how nice of you...

to entertain my wife

in my absence.

I don't want you to think--

Don't... tell me what

to think, Mr. Leafy.

Are you familiar, perhaps,

with the local phrase

"plenty wahallah"?

Hmm?

That's what

you're in now!

I know you!

You're Sonny. You're--

You're right, man.

I go be Hazel's brother.

Look over there,

Mr. Leafy.

The University of Kinjanja?

Correct.

And they plan to expand

to over here.

New hall of residence.

Conference center.

Swimming pools.

Fascinating.

But there's one

small problem.

One of the members of the

governing board has decided

to veto the proposal.

Spoilsport.

But... what's that got

to do with you?

I happen to own the land.

I'm also president of

the construction company.

In fact, my family

once owned all of this land,

almost all of Kinjanja.

Until you British of course

came and bought it

from my grandfather for...

a hundred pounds,

I think.

I think it was called a...

compulsory purchase.

And now you're...

taking it all back.

I can see why the veto

must be inconvenient.

Most.

But what you

can do for me...

is to convince this person

to change his mind.

I can?

Yes.

I assure you, the most

appalling things will happen

to you if you refuse.

I don't refuse.

Oh, good!

Wise decision.

Now, to make it easier

for you,

you can offer this

gentlemen... a financial

inducement, if you will.

Say, a 100,000 pounds

to help him change his mind.

A hundred grand?

Yes.

Who do I have to bribe?

Sorry... convince.

Perhaps you're

already friends.

His name is Murray.

Dr. Alex Murray.

Hmm?

Murray. Somehow everything

comes back to Murray.

Even poor Innocence!

He could easily have solved

that problem for me.

Sent one of his fleet

of shiny new ambulances!

What a preposterous idea!

I've never heard anything

so outrageous!

Do you know what you're saying?

Twenty thousand janjans

is only about 200 pounds...

for God's sake!

Have you gone

completely mad?

Her majesty's government

can't possibly be involved

in paying for some...

mumbo jumbo

Juju ceremony!

What's that going to look like

in the report to Whitehall?

I'm only trying to solve

the bloody problem!

You're not going to solve it

that way. You hear?

Just because you've managed

to get Adekunle on a visit

to London...

doesn't mean you can rest

on your laurels.

You're responsible for

this innocence business.

You alone!

I want it sorted out!

Thanks a lot.

I never go like this,

monsieur.

Jamais, Jamais!

I beg you.

Please don't do this.

You go make Shango angry!

And no go die well!

Look, you go die now

if you don't

pull yourself together!

"Movez-vous" vite!

Mon dieu.

C'est pas vrai. Non.

Shut up!

Take the feet.

The, uh, the--

the, the, um, um--

the... pieds!

Pieds!

Watch it!

Maman.

Come on.

Merde!

Shut up, Friday!

Merde!

I think I give my notice,

monsieur.

I think I go die now.

Oh, shut up.

Don't be so pathetic.

God, I just remembered.

Merry Christmas, Friday.

A merry bloody Christmas

to us both!

Arthur!

Merry Christmas.

Come in, Leafy.

Notice anything unusual,

Leafy?

Unusual? No.

I suppose it's not quite

as hot as it was.

The staff, man, the staff!

There's not a single member

of staff on duty.

They're all on strike!

Why?

Because the body is gone!

Disappeared in the night.

I'm deeply disappointed

in you, Leafy.

You've let me down shockingly!

Shockingly!

You did tell me to get rid

of the body, Arthur.

Top priority!

I requested that you solve

a problem of protocol

with the African staff.

Damn it, man!

You're employed as

the First Secretary,

not our resident

tomb robber!

Disaster!

Utter, utter disaster!

Well, at least the Duchess

won't have a view of a corpse!

But I can't cope with

her visit without a staff,

you idiot! My God!

What have you done

with the body?

Well, it's

in my deep freeze.

How macabre.

Next thing, you'll

be practicing black magic.

Innocence will come back

to work as a zombie,

poor thing.

Well, it's only temporary

for Christ's sake!

The deep freeze.

Well, I didn't know what to do

with the bloody thing!

Will you stop beginning all

your sentences with "well."

It's intensely irritating.

Once that old dragon sees...

there's no one here to bring

her breakfast in bed, and

no one to wash out her knickers,

I'll have as much chance

of a knighthood as...

the head of the I.R.A.!

They'll leave me

out here to rot in

this Godforsaken country.

I'll be gin-sodden,

malarial.

Chloe will leave me.

I'll be living with some

lubricious black girl...

down African township.

For God's sake,

pull yourself together, Arthur!

Look, when does the Duchess

actually arrive?

In a few hours.

It's over. It's all over!

But she won't be coming here

directly, right?

She'll be going to

the recreation club first.

Yes.

And this evening

there's a dinner

with that bloody Adekunle.

And the Yanks, the Frogs,

the Krauts, and the Wops.

Carolyn, what would you like

for Christmas?

A present?

Yes?

How about--

A present for a

big, beautiful girl!

There we are.

I was here in '38.

It was a different story then.

Quite different.

We ran the place.

Things were properly

looked after.

Independence was given

far too early.

Oh, dear. Let's help you.

Oh, that's all right.

Let's give you

a nice present.

Do you think I could have

another "G" & "T"? No ice.

Of course.

Hello!

And who are you?

Trilby.

Trilby?

What a lovely name.

You having

a good Christmas?

Very good.

Yes.

Innocence!

Oh, fuck!

I mean... golly, gosh.

Silly Santa.

Adekunle.

one whom we assume will be

President, and his wife Celia.

Charmed.

And you, my dear, do you really

enjoy living in this country?

Of course.

It's my home.

Yes!

Help yourselves, children!

There you are.

Everybody in! Yes!

Dr. Murray!

Ah, excuse me,

Dr. Murray.

It seems stupid to say

"Who are you?"

but who are you?

Leafy!

How very festive.

On government business?

This is my son, Will.

How do you do?

I was just handing out

presents for the kiddies.

Season of goodwill

and all that.

Ho, ho, ho.

Merry Christmas, et cetera.

I didn't realize

you're a golfer, Doctor.

I wondered, that is,

if you've nothing else on,

if you'd fancy a game...

tomorrow, say?

With who?

With me.

I thought we should

bury the hatchet.

I've never seen you

on a golf course.

I, uh, play

very odd hours.

Yes, because of the job.

Crack of dawn some days.

What do you say?

All right.

Tomorrow, 4:00... p.m.

Fabulous.

See you on

the first green.

- Tee.

Before we start?

The first tee.

The green is what we aim for.

Of course we do!

What am I thinking of?

All this Christmas spirit,

I must be losing my mind.

See you tomorrow.

I can't wait.

What do you think,

Ezekial?

What do you think

of this Christmas thing?

Do you like it?

I like it, Sir.

My father didn't like it.

Always rushed off his feet.

He was a barman too

at Heathrow Airport.

Is a good job, Sir.

He died at Christmas.

Heart attack.

To think I spent

three years...

at that rotten university...

working my bloody guts out.

And then,

three years more...

facing those dickheads...

at the Civil Service

Selection Board...

just so I could end up

out here,

dressed as

father bloody Christmas,

rat-assed and miserable...

with a dead--

Good night!

And a merry bloody Christmas

to you all.

Aaah!

Ah, Innocence!

Is that fire out?

Can't imagine

what was going on!

Bloody natives.

Something idiotic,

that's certain.

I'd like to know

what we're doing here

in this slum.

I understand that there's

a marvelous guest suite on

the far side of the building.

Mr. Fanshawe

probably didn't think

we warranted it.

Ghastly type he is.

Common as dirt.

That accent doesn't fool me.

And that wife!

Ha!

Hard-faced harridan.

The daughter's sweet,

though.

Hmm. Manipulative

little vixen, I'd say.

Just going to have

a quick shower.

Fix up a couple

"G" & "Ts".

Aah!

Good evening,

Duchess.

I promise I won't say

anything to anyone

about this if you don't.

Ouch!

God's sake!

Oh, my... back!

Mr. Leafy!

Monsieur!

Oh, thanks!

You were a great bloody help

tonight, weren't you?

Well, I don't like

that Shango, monsieur.

All right!

Where did this lot

come from?

Christmas present, monsieur.

Huh?

From Professor Adekunle.

Oh, no!

Good afternoon,

Leafy.

Ah!

Well, who won?

Oh! Slight accident

with my gas cooker.

Blow back, I think they call it.

- Longing for it. God, yes!

You thinking

of turning pro?

Uh... treated myself.

Christmas present.

Well, I'm in trouble

if your game is on a par

with your equipment.

Oh, wonderful putt!

Oooh!

Wonderful game, golf.

Yes. You must

try it sometime.

Aaah!

Ahh.

I hope you don't mind

me asking, Alex,

but do you like it

out here?

I mean, in Africa?

Oh, well enough.

There's good and bad

everywhere.

You're completely content

then?

Show me the man who's

completely content, and

I'll show you the lobotomy scar.

Oh, yes.

Thin ice and all that.

But you're not going

to retire here.

Are you?

No.

Back to Scotland?

No.

In fact,

I'm thinking

of Portugal.

Houses--

houses in Portugal...

don't come cheap,

I would imagine.

No.

I bet a

hundred thousand pounds

would come in useful.

A hundred thousand

pounds?

Yes.

Cut to the chase,

Leafy.

I will give you

100,000 pounds if...

if you do something.

And what do

I have to do?

Uh... you have to put in

a positive report on

the university extensions.

So...

Adekunle's got the English

to carry out his garbage now.

What has he got

on you?

Nothing.

Anyway...

it's not Adekunle.

Come on.

Look, couldn't you, you know,

just turn a blind eye?

I-If this doesn't

come off, he'll--

You're in the wrong game.

Why don't you just

get yourself out of here?

And what about

my bloody career?

Your career?

You have more chance

on the P.G.A. Tour.

I know I've been

a bloody fool.

Well, at least we agree

on something.

Why oppose his plans?

What's wrong with

the university extensions?

Adekunle will make millions

from the deal,

and that's nothing to what

he'll steal when he's President.

And I'm not endorsing

crooked politicians

in Africa nor anywhere else.

You won't be endorsing him,

just not opposing him.

One way or another, he's

gonna get what he wants.

So why not take his money?

Christ!

You've worked out here

for years for a pittance.

I'm sorry

you don't understand.

I'll be using

my veto.

I'd been rude, sulking,

bullying, selfish,

unpleasant, hypocritical,

cowardly and conceited.

A normal sort of week?

Yes.

But am I...

any different from

anyone else in this country,

in this

wide, swarming world?

Hazel,

where are you going?

I go to vote.

Oh, Jesus!

The election.

How long

have I been here?

You come yesterday.

You be drunk.

Who are you going

to vote for?

Mmm-hmm!

As if I didn't know.

Vote K.N.P.

for a united Kinjanja!

For a united Kinjanja.

Yes, yes, I know.

I know.

It is a day of celebration

throughout Nkongsamba...

as the K.N.P. party led by

professor Sam Adekunle

has taken power,

ousting the ruling

K.I.P. party...

with a swing of 14%.

Professor Adekunle, seen here

arriving this afternoon

at the downtown Hilton...

has str?ssed in his campaign

the elimination of corruption

in Nkongsamba.

He has promised that the country

will undergo an unprecedented

year of prosperity.

We hope to bring you

an interview with him

later in the program.

What would I do

without you, Friday?

I don't know,

monsieur.

You look tr?s elegant,

tr?s chic.

Thank you, Friday.

Nice of you to say so.

But your face,

monsieur.

Thank you, Friday.

But for the moment,

there's nothing

I can do about that.

Adekunle has come through

with the oil lease.

All signed.

How does it sound?

Sir Arthur Fanshawe.

Richly deserved...

Sir.

Thank you, Morgan.

Ah! Here we are.

Here he is, Duchess,

the only member of my team

you haven't met.

First Secretary

Morgan Leafy.

He's a good man.

How do you do, ma'am?

How do you do,

Mr. Leafy?

You know, you seem

oddly familiar to me.

Have we met before?

Don't think so, ma'am.

Perhaps you once had a beard.

Facial hair so alters

a man's appearance.

Another "G" & "T"

please, Arthur.

No ice.

Morgan!

Whatever happened

to your face?

Uh, cigarette lighter.

Adjusted the flame

the wrong way, and...

whoomph!

Dear me!

I just wanted to say

I thought you were a success

as Father Christmas.

Oh! Oh, right, Chloe.

Yes. Well, look,

thanks a lot.

It was--

It was so much fun.

Yes, it was, uh,

most interesting.

Mr. President,

I must congratulate you

on your victory.

Thank you, Mrs. Fanshawe.

May I borrow your

First Secretary for a moment?

We have some business.

Of course.

So, I assume your discussion

with Dr. Murray...

was satisfactory,

huh?

Um--

No, actually. No.

There's a slight problem

there.

He is going to veto

the project.

What?

Listen, Mr. Leafy,

increase the offer.

Make it 200,000 pounds.

It wouldn't do

any good.

He's just...

one of those people.

Maybe the last one left.

An incorruptible.

Oh.

In that case, Mr. Leafy,

I would not advise you

to invest in any pension plans.

Your career could be short,

as well as inglorious.

Coming.

Celia!

Where have you been?

Celia, be careful.

I've been trying

to find you for days.

What happened

to your face?

Well--

there was this child

trapped in a burning house,

and--

No, no.

It was just an accident.

I'm leaving him,

Morgan.

Who?

Sam, of course.

And I need your help.

My help? Why would--

You have to get me

a British passport.

What are you

talking about?

You know

the situation.

When I married Sam,

I had to give up

my British citizenship.

And now to get

a British passport I need

his permission in writing.

He'll never give it.

But you can get one

for me, Morgan.

It's easy for you.

I see.

I think I...

see a lot of things.

Let's face it. If I'd just come

to your office and applied,

you'd have told me to get

Sam's authorization.

Wasn't my method

more exciting?

Yes.

Well, it's going to be

a bit difficult.

I'm leaving, resigning.

Resigning?

Ooh!

Oh, Morgan.

Oh.

Don't worry,

Celia.

You'll get

your passport.

We want Fanshawe!

English out!

Come out, Fanshawe!

Fanshawe! Fanshawe!

Fanshawe is doer

of the imperialists.

Imperialist dog?

Fanshawe! Fanshawe!

Fanshawe!

British out of Kinjanja!

Fanshawe out of Kinjanja!

Fanshawe! Fanshawe!

Fanshawe!

Put out the lights!

Leafy! This is

your doing, Leafy!

I'm holding you

responsible!

It's my fault?

How can it be my fault?

It seems to me as if

Mr. Fanshawe is the object

of their hatred.

If he goes, perhaps

they'll leave us alone.

Don't be ridiculous.

Go out there?

They'll lynch me.

But it is I think

our only chance.

Next they'll take the house.

Muller is right.

You... should leave.

Take him out.

What the fuck

do you think you're doing?

How dare you!

Get your hands off my husband!

This common African country

of yours is finished!

Hold it! Hold it!

Listen!

I-I've got an idea.

This better be good, Leafy.

They want Arthur,

right?

So,

we'll give them Arthur!

- Morgan!

- Leafy, are you

out of your mind?

No, not you, Arthur.

Me! I'll go in your place.

What? No!

Yes.

You're too valuable a man for

the diplomatic corps to lose.

- That's true.

- Come on. We'll change

clothes here.

In the dark,

they'll never know!

Well, come on!

We all look the same

to them anyway!

Nonsense.

Mr.--

Mr. Dalmire

should go.

Me?

He more closely resembles

Mr. Fanshawe.

Fanshawe! Fanshawe!

Morgan,

you need a mustache.

My darling,

heroic Morgie.

Priss!

See you soon,

if you're not

torn to pieces.

Wait!

I'm coming with you.

I forbid it.

Chloe, I really don't think--

Oh, shut up, Arthur.

It'll be more convincing

if we both go.

Arthur would never

make a dash for it

without me.

Fanshawe! Fanshawe!

Morgan?

- I shall never forget this.

- Neither will I.

Fanshawe! Fanshawe!

Right!

I'll change it.

I'll give you a hand.

Oh, my God!

Come on, Chloe!

There's Fanshawe!

C'mon!

Shit!

Come on!

God! No!

Over here!

Shit!

Chloe!

We-- We request

your assistance.

Mon dieu!

Say, Monsieur Leafy.

Friday, what are you

doing here?

Tonight is my night off.

And this be

my friend's bar.

This is Friday, my cook.

Friday, we need

a lift into town.

Morgie, do you

remember that day?

What day?

That day you came to try on

the Santa Claus outfit.

Well, what about it?

I've been thinking

about you since then.

A lot.

Have you, Chloe?

You...

Ahh! Ahh!

Stallion.

Chloe, my God!

Wha--

I can't leave you

tonight without--

I want our loins

to mingle.

Ah! Mon dieu!

Who are you?

What you do here?

British High Commission.

We have been attending

your President's

victory celebrations.

Sorry.

We had demonstrators here.

We've got to be

vigilant.

Of course, Officer.

So, what's

happened here?

We collided

with that ambulance.

Anyone hurt?

Yes, Sir.

The driver was killed,

one man hurt.

Most serious.

One white man.

Murray!

I don't believe it!

Happens just when...

you least expect it.

Silly little...

accident.

We've got to move you,

get you out of here.

No, no.

Can't be moved.

What are you

up to now?

I-- I was at

Adekunle's--

It's all too complicated.

But listen,

I'm following your advice.

Really?

Yes, really.

I'm sorry about what

I've done and said.

You were right.

Alex, this is

so fucking unfair!

Aah, you're right

this time.

Thin ice.

Thanks... for being here,

Morgan.

It's very good of you.

I'm gonna turn in Adekunle.

They'll all know about

your veto.

We'll get him!

We'll finish him

in politics.

Don't you worry--

Some other time, eh?

I haven't got all night.

- I have to say this.

You look bloody ridiculous

in that outfit.

Why Murray?

Why Murray,

a good man like that?

There aren't many of 'em

around.

Kojo, Isaiah,

Friday, Murray.

Poor Murray.

Dead... like innocence.

Bloody Shango.

Bastard!

Morgie!

Chloe! Forgot about her.

Morgie!

Not so sure

about this at all.

Murray said I was in

the wrong game.

Time to find a new one,

I think.

So, Kojo,

everything ready?

Some person

moved the body

three days ago, Sir.

Yes.

Mr. Fanshawe told me.

Bad business.

There's never

been respect.

Never, Sir.

I know, I know.

That's why I've decided

to do something.

Tell Ijeoma it's a gift.

Thank you, Sir.

You're a good man,

Mr. Leafy.

Think so?

Well, better late

than never.

A Good Man in Africa (1994) - full transcript