A Friend of Dorothy (1994) - full transcript

(door creaking)

- [Broadcaster] Won the game 15 to four.

In the West, the Royals

clinched the division--

(footsteps walking)

- [Helen] Look, he wants to transfer.

- [Mitchell] Helen, NYU is too expensive.

He can stay at State.

- [Helen] But college here

has been like high school

all over again, the same kids.

He was miserable in high school.

- [Mitchell] He'd be happier

if he had some friends.

Why doesn't he have any friends?

- [Helen] He has friends.

Anyway, you know he's

always been a quiet boy,

kept to himself.

- [Mitchell] I know why he

doesn't have any friends.

He's always up in his room

listening to Barbra Streisand.

- [Helen] But his grades

are good, Mitchell.

We owe him for that.

- [Mitchell] But New York,

Helen? Greenwich Village?

- [Helen] What do you mean?

Anyway, he won't be

alone. Anne goes to NYU.

- [Mitchell] What, the fat girl?

- [Helen] Oh Mitchell, please.

- [Winston] My records, my

albums, I left them all at home.

- [Anne] Winston, stop being

so nervous. We're almost there.

- [Winston] I'm not nervous.

(upbeat music)

(car door closing)

(upbeat music)

(woman laughing)

- Are you going?

- Yeah.

- All right, I'll see you there.

- Bye.

- Bye.

(upbeat music)

(horn honking)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- [Tom] Winston?

- Um, Tom?

- Yeah.

- Hi.

- How you doing?

- Nice to meet you.

- I'm gonna be your roommate for a while.

Hi.

- Hi, I'm Anne.

- Oh, this is my friend Anne.

- I graduated, but they're

just letting me hang out

for a while till my job comes in.

- Oh.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- We better go. Matt's waiting.

- We have tickets for a game.

- A game.

- A game.

- Well, listen, Winston,

see you later, right?

- Yeah, great.

- See ya.

- Bye.

- She likes you.

(chuckling)

(upbeat jazz music)

(jazz piano music)

(tapping on desk)

(jazz piano music)

(people chattering on street)

(pants unbuckling)

(pants unzipping)

- Oh, and my roommate.

I mean I've had crushes before,

but this guy drives me nuts.

- Tell me about it.

Are you in love?

- With him?

Maybe.

With everybody else, I'm in lust.

And I just wanna,

I wanna touch something.

- I think the word is grope.

Which reminds me, got a

little present for you.

- Ah!

(laughing)

Please don't remind me

how little I need them.

- You never know.

- Anne, I spend my days panting

and drooling over all these guys.

And nothing ever comes of it.

- You ever talk to them?

- Talk to them? What do I say?

Hey, wanna fall in love?

- Anne, hi.

- Hi.

- Yeah, we're hanging

over at my place tomorrow.

Would you like to come by?

- You bet.

- Do you wanna come along?

- Great?

- Sure, see you then.

(giggling)

- So is that the panting or the drooling?

- Both.

(laughing)

- Anne, my roommate is--

- So gorgeous.

I know, you've told me six times.

- As far as he's concerned, I think,

Fellatio is a character from Hamlet.

- Well, Winnie, you've got the vocabulary.

Now it's time to put

your words into action.

- Talk to them, huh?

- Try it.

You know those things kinda taste funny.

- You would know, huh?

(laughing)

(laughing)

(storm brewing)

(rain tapping)

- Hey, blabbermouth,

you know the only thing

to count on from college

education these days?

- No, what?

- Debts.

- Yeah, yeah.

I told my parents that if

they let me come to NYU,

I'd establish a heck of a credit rating.

- Gonna need a car.

I just better get this job.

- Well you could always

hock the family jewels.

- Mm.

What do you think, Winston?

You think that's a viable option?

- If something's viable,

is it still an option?

You ever read D.H. Lawrence?

- D.H. Lawrence? Is that

what you're reading?

- Lady Chatterley's Lover.

(thunder rolling)

- I got something here a

little more your speed.

- The collected works

of Henry David Thoreau?

Walden.

- Yeah.

It's all about this guy

who can keep himself busy

for days and days and days

on end alone in the woods.

It might be easier for you to relate to.

- Well, I'll give it a thought.

It might be good bathroom reading.

(thunder rolling)

- So, Winston, what's your story?

Why did you come here?

- I don't know.

I guess, New York City.

- The Village?

- Those debts of yours,

they got me worried.

I mean, how much am I gonna owe?

- Oh, Winston.

The only thing you gotta

worry about right now

is keeping your grades

up and maybe think about

getting laid every once in a while.

- Well, I've never really been

very worried about my grades.

- And the getting laid

every once in a while?

Good night, kid.

(light switching off)

(rain tapping)

(soft piano music)

(siren blaring in distance)

(soft piano music)

(students murmuring)

- I really like your sneakers.

- Really, you like them?

- Yeah, I do, I do. I think

they're real, they're nice.

- My girlfriend picked them out for me.

I think they suck.

- Jack.

- [Jack] What?

(students murmuring)

- What are you doing?

- What?

- Oh.

Sorry.

Um, you're Tom's...

- Don't sit so close to me.

- Sorry.

- Hey.

- Hey, Tom.

- You guys know each other?

- We've had enough of an introduction.

- This kid doesn't need any introductions.

You know who this is, don't you?

This is my special buddy.

Just came back from my interview.

- Oh, yeah, did it go well?

- Yeah, it went really well.

- Jesus, what is this stuff?

Streisand, Streisand,

Midler,

Cher.

- Matt?

- Streisand, more Streisand.

- Hey, these are my records.

- Oh, the shit here.

- [Winston] Thanks.

- Hey, buddy, where's your Judy Garland?

- Huh?

- Your Judy Garland.

The mama of all these fag divas.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Judy, man. All the gays are into her.

It's just like Streisand and Bette Midler.

- I'm sure they have exceptions.

There's gotta be exceptions.

- That would be pushing it, girlfriend.

- Oh come on, Matt.

- I actually have a party to go to.

(guitar music)

(inhaling)

(guitar music)

- You wouldn't happen to

like Judy Garland, would you?

- No, no.

- I didn't think so.

(guitar music)

Oh.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Where you going?

- Oh, I'm, I gotta go. I have studying.

Anne is supposed to meet me.

But I don't know whether

she's gonna show up or not.

All I did...

I'm sorry. I have to go.

(guitar music)

(upbeat music)

- Having a bad day?

I hear you. I hear you.

Lord knows I've been there.

Some days, you just feel like you're stuck

in a labyrinth of lies and hypocrisy

and self-fulfilling

prophecies that end in shit.

- I'm sorry.

- Come on. You know

what I'm talking about.

Right now, you feel like

a stranger wandering alone

through a town where you

don't speak the language.

Well, that's when you start

to notice the walls around you

and everything inside you

starts to ferment and poison.

You wanna reach out and touch

something, but you're not

really even sure if there's

anything there to really touch.

But there's someone out

there for everyone, friend.

I bet I could show you

that you're not alone.

I'd like to do that for you, friend.

Would you like that?

Would you?

- Yeah, I probably would like that.

- Come on.

Let's go for a walk.

(upbeat music)

- [Tom] Hey, stud.

- Hi.

- You all right?

- Yeah, I'm okay.

I'm just a little, um,

I'm a little frustrated.

- I can see why.

- Oh, yeah.

- Term paper?

- Yeah, it's due next week.

- Sounds good.

What's it about?

- The psychosocial

consequences of retarded growth

in adolescent females.

- Ah, 13-year-olds with no tits.

(laughing)

Stick to one girl, huh?

- Yeah.

You, um, you got that job, right?

You're moving out tomorrow?

- Yeah, tomorrow is it, kiddo.

- [Anne] Hey, Winnie.

- Hi, Anne.

- Well what happened with that guy?

Was he interested in you?

- Oh, Anne, this guy

was so interested in me.

I mean, he was interested

in the depths of my soul.

- Are you serious?

- He's ready to introduce

me to his family.

He has a very extended family.

You ever hear of the Unification Church?

- What?

- Anne, he was a fucking Moonie.

He wasn't interested in my body.

He was interested in my soul

or my salvation or something.

- He'd probably find you a

good flower salesman (laughs).

Oh, Winston, I'm so sorry.

- Hey, how's it going?

- How are you?

- I'm good, I'm good.

- What's going on?

- What are you reading?

- Hey, Winston.

I know about one place where

you're sure to get some action.

Downstairs, in the lower

level of the library,

guys have sex in the

bathroom there (laughs).

- Anne, I'm not that desperate.

- I know.

- I mean, that's really disgusting.

(toilet flushing)

(pants zipping)

(urinal flushing)

(foot tapping)

(foot tapping)

(foot tapping)

(water flowing)

(foot tapping)

(foot tapping)

(faucet dripping)

(lights buzzing)

(door opening)

(groaning)

(hard breathing)

(upbeat music on headphones)

(hard breathing)

(upbeat music on headphones)

(hard breathing)

(gas passing)

- Hey.

- I can't.

(scoffing)

Aw, fuck.

(traffic passing)

- Hey, John.

- Hey, how you doing?

- How you doing, John.

- Oh my God, remember that

guy I was telling you about

that I thought was really cute?

- Wow.

- Hey.

- Yeah, we should invite

him to the meeting.

(soft light music)

(soft piano music)

(items clattering)

(soft music)

- Sh, I was hoping you

were a friend of Dorothy's.

(soft piano music)

(group chattering)

♪ Happy New Year to you ♪

- [Woman] What's wrong with Winston?

- His roommate's gone. He

left for LA this morning.

See you later.

(upbeat music)

- What am I gonna do to cheer you up?

(piano music)

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Are you a Judy Garland fan?

- Oh yeah. Are you?

- Um, no, no, I don't

really know her stuff.

I'm more a Barbra Streisand fan.

- Miss B, I love her too.

What else do you like?

- I like Madonna a lot.

I like Bette Midler.

I have a couple of Cher albums.

- Cher. Have you ever heard

Cher singing "Evergreen?"

- No.

♪ Love, soft as an easy chair ♪

♪ Love, fresh as the morning air ♪

♪ One love that is shared by two ♪

♪ I have found with you ♪

♪ Like a rose ♪

- Listen, I'm gonna meet

some friends in a few minutes

out front, we're gonna

get something to eat

and then we're gonna go to

a piano bar, I'm gonna sing.

Do you wanna come along?

- Oh, um, I really don't

wanna intrude on your friends.

- Listen, you'll fit right in.

They're all friends of Dorothy.

You know, friends of Dorothy.

Judy, the Wizard of Oz.

You are a friend of Dorothy, aren't you?

- Yeah, I guess I am.

- Someone should teach you

to smile when you say that.

Okay, about five minutes, in the front.

- Great.

- So are you going?

- Judy Garland?

- Barbra Streisand.

Anyway, maybe he has a

friend who likes football.

(upbeat piano music)