A Foreign Affair (1948) - full transcript

- What gives you that idea?

- The key you dropped.

- Maybe I dropped it for the milkman.

- Oh.

She dropped it for the milkman.

Fr?ulein, if that's supposed to be a joke,

you're joking up the wrong tree.

Let me assure you,

we are in no mood for flippancy.

- Facts, if you please.

- Yes, facts.

- You are an American woman?

- We'll ask the questions.

- What is the name of the man?

- Yes.

- Johnny.

- Johnny what?

I see you do not believe in lipstick.

And what a curious way to do your hair,

or rather not to do it.

Wait a minute.

Do you know who you're taking to?

An American woman, and I'm a little

disappointed, to tell you the truth.

We apparently have a false idea

about the chic American woman.

- I suppose it's publicity from Hollywood.

- You're being impertinent.

Well, I must go back now. There's

a curfew for German civilians, you know.

There sure is.

Fr?ulein von Schl?tow,

we increased our national debt

by some $350 billion to win this war.

I would regard it as a waste

- if we didn't eliminate types like you.

- Like you.

Perhaps if you would change

the line of your eyebrows a little.

Gute Nacht.

Gute Nacht,

Captain... whatever your name is.

What nerve. What colossal nerve.

We have to remember what

they've been through.

All those bombings left them

kind of wobbly up here.

- I do look awful without make-up.

- You don't.

We were only allowed 60lbs of luggage.

No nonessentials.

Never listen to another woman if you want

to know how you look. Ask a man.

- Come on, ask me.

- I know how I look.

You look charming, positively,

definitely, absolutely charming...

in a... refreshing sort of way.

- Are you being polite?

- Who wants perfume?

Give me the fresh wet smell

of Iowa corn right after it rains.

We had little rain this year,

wonderful corn weather.

I'm sure glad to hear that.

- Now to get back to that woman.

- Must we?

To be as insulting as that,

she must feel awfully safe.

Or just bluffing.

The man behind her

must be really important.

A general or a colonel.

A colonel at least.

What's the full name of that colonel?

- Colonel?

- That Colonel Plummer.

- Rufus J Plummer.

- J for what?

J for John.

Do you think?

No, not him. It couldn't be him.

He's a married man. A West Pointer.

I've heard of married men,

of West Pointers, even.

- But not Plummer, ma'am, I swear.

- There was a look in his eye.

If we could only get our hands on her file.

Who told you it was sent to N?rnberg?

- Second Lieutenant Cook, in charge of files.

- Maybe he's covering up for his colonel.

- I'll ask him tomorrow morning.

- No. We'll go there now.

- Where?

- To the files.

In the middle of the night?

Shouldn't we get permission?

Did we get permission

to land in Normandy? Let's go.

Schl?tow, Schl?tow.

S... SA...

SCH to ST. This is where it would be.

If it is at all, but I don't think it is.

- Well, let's make good and sure.

- Sure.

Come on, open it.

Schlage, Schlangenberg,

Schlagenspitz, Schlitz...

Seems that some of them

never got to Milwaukee.

Schliemann, Schl?ssel, Schl?tow...

- There.

- Here's the Schl?tows.

Anton, Emil, Fritz, Gottfried, Waldemar...

- No Erika.

- No Erika.

Told you so. Gone to N?rnberg.

Gone to N?rnberg.

I'll take you back to your billet.

Erika von Schl?tow.

- Yes?

- It's under von.

Oh, no.

Like O'Brien. You wouldn't

look under B, you'd look under O.

- All right, let's look under O.

- Under V.

- V as in vindictive.

- What was that, Captain?

I pity anybody who has you on his trail.

You pity a man who's consorting

with a notorious Nazi?

Von Resnicek, von Reudesheim...

Did it occur to you there might be

extenuating circumstances?

I expect any man in his country's uniform...

Oh, that one.

You expect him to be an ambassador.

A salesman of goodwill. You want him

to stand on the blackened rubble

of what used to be the corner of a street

with a sample case of assorted freedoms,

waving the flag and the Bill of Rights.

That's not the way it works.

Suppose you stop and ask yourself

how come he skidded of the road?

- I'll tell you how. No moral brakes.

- That's it, going too fast.

During the war, he couldn't go fast enough.

"Get on that beachhead, through the

tank traps, across the Rhine. Step on it."

Faster, 100 miles an hour,

24 hours a day through burning towns.

Then one day the war is over.

You expect him to jam on those brakes

and stop like that.

Everybody can't stop like that!

Sometimes you skid, sometimes you go

into a spin and smash into a tree

and bash your fenders and scrape those

fine ideals you brought from home.

It's time such wrecks

were hauled into a garage.

- Anyone who forgets he's American...

- Don't forget he's also human.

What would you know about that?

Von Schlegel, von Schlittenheim...

The loneliness is stored up right down

to his boots and it's driving him crazy.

One day a pair of

open-toed shoes come along.

You want him to ask questions?

Party affiliation? Social Security number?

Yes, I want him to make sure

he's not doing something subversive.

Are you qualified to call the pitch on this?

What's your life, anyway?

Committees and sessions

and adjournments

and budget cuts and appropriations.

What do you do for laughs? What do you

do for tears for that matter?

For tears... for tears I cry, Captain Pringle.

It may interest you to know

I once cried for a man

till my eyes were

half washed out of my head.

Not really.

I was on an important subcommittee.

One was a Southern Democrat.

His convictions

were utterly different from mine.

I hated everything he stood for.

I despised his politics.

But I loved him... insanely.

I loved the Southern syrup in his voice.

His mint julep manners.

The way he'd look at me

through his long thick eyelashes

when I was vetoing an amendment.

He'd put his arm around me,

just kind of lazy, like.

Lean his head against my cheek.

His hair had a deep wave in it.

- You know what he was trying to do?

- What?

He was trying to sway my vote.

Once he drove me home

from an all-night meeting,

stopped his car on Earl Street.

For no reason at all, he said,

except he was yearning for my lips.

To tell you the truth, I was yearning for his.

But it would have meant betraying

my platform and my constituents.

- What did you do?

- I filibustered.

- You what?

- I just kept on talking.

The constitution, the Bill of Rights, poems,

Longfellow, anything I could think of.

Von Schloss, von Schlotzing,

von Schlumann, von Schl?rmann,

von...

- No other man since the mint julep guy?

- No.

- No more what you call yearning?

- No.

- Sure?

- None of your business.

I've been doing a little yearning

ever since you stepped off that plane.

Captain Pringle!

- Don't!

- Why not? You're not a Nazi.

Don't tell me it's subversive

to kiss a Republican.

I am a Congresswoman.

Yeah. Now I know how I'll cast

my absentee ballot come re-election.

- I'm here on official business.

- This is official.

Oh! Now, listen.

Listen.

"Listen, my children, and you shall hear

of the midnight ride of Paul Revere

"On the 18th of April in '75,

hardly a man is now alive

"Who remembers that famous day and year

"He said to his friend, 'If the British march

by land or sea from the town tonight

"'Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch

of the North Church tower as a signal light

"'One if by land and two if by sea

"'And I on the opposite shore shall be

ready to ride and spread the alarm

"'Through every Middlesex village and farm

"'For the country folk to be up and to arm... '

"Then he said 'Good night! '

and, with muffled oar, silent..." Oh!

Now, Congresswoman,

may I have the floor?

You are entirely out of order.

Objection overruled.

Ooh. Oh.

Just, er, checking up on Paul Revere.

Oh, sure.

This is where you live, Congresswoman.

This is your billet.

I said we're here. What's the matter?

- I just want to die.

- You what?

It's awful. It never should have happened.

Listen, you didn't burn down an orphanage.

You got kissed in a file room. That's all.

- I'm a thief.

- Thief?

The lowest kind of a thief,

stealing another woman's man.

Yeah?

The cake I brought. The girl you left behind.

She sent a love letter and you fell in love

with the postman.

Those things happen, like electrons,

positive and negative.

- One day they get together and wham!

- No!

No wham.

- We've got to get control of ourselves.

- Can we?

It would be wiser

not to see each other again.

- I suppose it would.

- We can't go on with our investigation.

- So we drop it.

- No. No, I'll go on alone.

- I could enlist the help of the general.

- No.

Why not?

Miss Frost, Congresswoman,

Postman, darling,

to know that you're here and around

and I couldn't see you, I'd go crazy.

We've got to be strong.

This business about Dusty, it's not serious.

It's just a college crush.

- I have a dreadful sense of guilt.

- We're not engaged.

I'm not committed in any way.

It would break her heart, the daughter of

the man who swung the 4th Precinct.

No, it won't.

She's a kind of a flighty kid, you know.

She's been engaged to four guys

since I've been gone,

one of them a feed and grain merchant.

Think what a good provider he'd make.

Oh, John...

I don't even know your first name,

Congresswoman darling.

- Phoebe.

- Phoebe.

Isn't that ridiculous?

Not a bit ridiculous.

How about a good-night kiss, Phoebe?

Good night.

Good morning.

Good evening.

Good gracious.

The problem is how to stop

all this physical human contact...

We just ought to put our foot down

and put it down hard.

- Why, Miss Frost.

- Where have you been?

- We've been worried.

- Won't you join us?

- Miss Frost?

- Miss Frost?

Anything I can do for you?

Not a thing.

Hah...

- Hans Otto Birgel.

- That's the best we could find, Colonel.

The others without uniform

don't show his face so plainly.

Lovely master race type.

I bet he never tortured anybody.

Not until he made sure

his dachshund had had his dinner.

I want every MP to memorise this puss.

Have 100 copies printed. Send it around

with a detailed description.

Will do.

We've got the trap baited

with the right cheese.

He'll snap at it, sure as shooting.

I hope.

Come in.

- You wanted to see me, Colonel?

- Yes, Miss Frost.

- That'll be all, Major.

- Yes, sir.

- How is the investigation going?

- The what?

- The investigation.

- Oh, fine.

- Making any progress?

- Slowly. Why?

It seems, in the course of it,

you lost something.

- I have?

- This is yours, isn't it?

Yes, thank you very much.

Well, I guess I'd better get some hatpins.

It is pretty windy in Berlin,

especially at night.

Well, the whole thing

can be easily explained.

But I hardly think you're in a position

to cast a stone, Colonel Plummer.

- I'm very sorry.

- I think you're brazen.

Am I?

- Having that on your desk.

- Having what on my desk?

I know all about that going

100 miles an hour, then the war is over

but you can't stop like that.

But there is such a thing as discretion.

- What discretion?

- Is this your family?

Yes, and this is our house in Indiana.

- How long have you been married?

- 22 years.

Oh, no. Perhaps it would be a good idea

if you sent for your wife.

She can't come now.

We're expecting a baby.

- A baby?

- I mean, our older daughter is.

I can understand the temptation of

a young man over here but a grandfather...

Really, Colonel Plummer,

you should have your brakes relined.

John. John, now I know.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

- I found out. There can't be any doubt.

- What?

- He even has her picture.

- Who?

- Colonel Plummer.

- Whose?

- That woman's.

- How come?

I mean, what for?

To look at. He can't keep his eyes off her.

It must be a mistake.

Maybe it's somebody who looks like her.

Should I talk it over with the general?

I wouldn't. Not the general.

Excuse me. Denazification office,

Captain Pringle speaking.

- Who?

- Johnny, what has happened?

Why didn't you come last night?

I waited for you.

Johnny, are you listening?

Of course I am, Lieutenant... Forrestal.

Lieutenant Forrestal, quartermasters.

Well, Lieutenant, I'm sorry I couldn't

make it. I'm pretty busy these days.

Johnny, what's the matter?

This is Erika. How you talk to me!

Lieutenant, it should not be

too difficult to grasp the situation.

I wonder how he got through officers school.

Oh, someone is with you, is that it?

That is correct, Lieutenant Forrestal.

Is this the son of the secretary of the Navy?

Let me speak with him.

No, this is the army Forrestal,

absolutely no relation.

Lieutenant, I assure you

I'll see you as soon as it's practical.

It may be late,

possibly after your office hours.

- I miss you so, Johnny. I love you.

- I'll make a note of that.

Goodbye, Lieutenant.

Nice kid. We went through

basic training together.

Now, what am I to do about the Colonel?

- I don't know.

- Could he be transferred to Japan?

I don't think so, not Japan.

Not with Tokyo Rose around.

- What do you suggest?

- What do I suggest?

- What do I suggest? Come on!

- Where are you taking me?

Brent, take over for me.

I won't be back today.

Where are you taking me?

We have a meeting with the general.

You don't want to see the general,

you want to see me. I want to see you.

So little time, so much to say.

Don't let's waste a minute.

- My investigation...

- I'll handle it after you go.

Send you a full report to Washington.

These few days are ours.

They're all we've got.

You dreadful man.

Come on. Let's get the Jeep

and drive out to Wannsee.

It's wide and green and I know a spot

that looks like a bend in the Mississippi.

Let's.

Johnny, come on.

- Faster. Faster.

- Hi.

Two days and two nights, what has

mein kleiner Liebling being doing?

He's been making charm

with the bloodhounds.

How are things going

with the Congresswoman?

- All right. We're engaged.

- You're what?

Better than having my head chopped off.

- I didn't know you were that deep in.

- What deep? How deep?

Why didn't you tell me

you and Birgel were like that?

- He's dead.

- Having your hand kissed by Hitler.

I hope you had it sterilised.

Looked as if he had rat poison

in that moustache.

Don't talk like that.

Why not?

How much of a Nazi were you, anyway?

Johnny, what does it matter,

a woman's politics?

Women pick out whatever's in fashion

and change it like a spring hat.

Yeah. Last year it was

a little number with a swastika on it.

This year it's ostrich feathers,

red, white and blue.

Next year a hammer, maybe, and a sickle.

Oh, Johnny, we must not say

mean words to each other.

When you say you are engaged,

that is only until her plane leaves, huh?

What else?

- I love you so very much.

- You do?

You're the only man I ever wanted to marry.

That's mighty white of you.

I want to go with you to America.

I want to climb up the Statue of Liberty.

You want to get down

that basement at Fort Knox.

I want to be where you are.

Yeah, I can just imagine you

in Iowa in blue jeans,

going on a hay ride to the old mill.

I would love that.

Mmm, gently, baby, it's Mother's Day.

Cut it out, you blonde flamethrower.

Cut it out, I said.

Did you ever kiss the Congresswoman?

Sure I did.

- Did she kiss you?

- What kind of a question is that?

It's a very important question. What

do you do when you're alone together?

Oh... we sit, hold hands...

whistle Shine On Harvest Moon.

- What's so funny?

- You hold hands?

Sure. Nice people do, you know.

You're so naive, you Americans.

So we are. So what of it?

That funny little woman with a face

like a scrubbed kitchen floor.

Yeah?

I have some vodka from the Russian sector

and I had the phonograph fixed.

- Would you like to hear some music?

- No thanks.

- Thanks a lot but no thanks.

- You're going?

- I got an early formation.

- You'll come back tomorrow night?

I imagine so, sterling character that I am.

So long.

- Miss Frost?

- Miss Frost?

- We're waiting for you.

- Dinner, Miss Frost.

- Did you call me?

- It's a quarter of eight.

We're going to the officers' mess for dinner.

I was sort of planning on a quiet evening.

Don't you feel well, Miss Frost?

I feel fine.

I have a kind of a headache, that's all.

Would you make

my excuses to the colonel?

- Sure will.

- Shall we bring you a sandwich maybe?

Cheese? Chicken? Ham?

Anything. Thank you very much.

Good evening, gentlemen.

Maybe we shouldn't leave her alone.

Maybe we should take her temperature.

Quite a lot of typhoid fever in Berlin.

Oh, good evening. I came to see Miss Frost.

Go on in. We're going out.

One might suspect

Cupid had a hand in this.

If we didn't know Miss Frost.

You can't shoot an arrow through steel.

Phoebe... Phoebe!

Coming, John.

Well!

- Do I look all right?

- Where did you get it?

- At the Brandenburg Gate.

- The black market? You didn't.

Well, I did. All I wanted was a lipstick

and something for my eyebrows

but a woman had this over

the handlebars of her bicycle

and I gave her my typewriter for it.

The shoes were six extra typewriter ribbons.

- Phoebe, for the love of Mike.

- Don't scold me.

I know I shouldn't have but I simply had to.

This is our last evening and I wanted

to look so pretty and I look just awful.

It's like a circus tent in mourning

for an elephant that died.

- It's no such thing.

- I'm not blind.

I tried to fix it but maybe

I'd better go up and put my suit on.

It is kind of high. What is it,

a turtleneck evening gown?

Well, it was a little lower but I fixed it.

You sure did.

Now, we takes this pin from here,

where it's just in the way,

and put it back here

where it can earn its pay.

It looked so lovely on the bicycle.

Now, stop it. You dressed for me

and to me you look good.

John, where did you learn

so much about women's clothes?

My mother wore women's clothes.

Oh, John, you're simply adorable.

Do you know it?

Who am I to argue with a Congresswoman?

You've got too much junk on your mouth.

- Have I?

- Now, hold still.

Now... we're in business.

We forgot your sable.

Oh...

You'll be quite a thing at that officers' mess.

- I don't want to go there.

- Where do you want to eat?

I thought some civilian place.

In Berlin?

The place where that singer...

You know, that place.

- You don't want to go to that sewer.

- Yes, I do.

I want it dark and gay and with music.

Want to buy some illusions slightly used?

Second-hand

They were lovely illusions, reaching high

Built on sand

They had a touch of paradise

A spell you can't explain

For in this crazy paradise

You are in love with pain

Want to buy some illusions slightly used?

Just like new

Such romantic illusions

And they're all about you

I'd sell them all for a penny

They make pretty souvenirs

Take my lovely illusions

Some for laughs

Some for tears

- Look, it's a hollow bottle.

- That's where the profit is.

There should be

a Congressional investigation.

- Second the motion.

- Let's investigate another bottle first.

- More champagne.

- Jawohl.

Hold my hand, John.

Sure.

Oh, John...

I'm so happy, I'm in heaven.

Not that I was unhappy before.

I was just drifting.

That's it. Drifting on a grey sea all alone.

It's not bad but suddenly you get scared.

You need another voice,

so you hoist up your heart and you wait

and nobody passes by, just grey waves.

Your heart gets frayed,

lashed by the night winds and rain.

So you haul it down, what's left of it,

and you resign yourself...

Then suddenly out of nowhere

comes a boat so unexpected,

all white sails on the horizon.

To you, my beautiful boat.

Phoebe, you make me feel awful.

Well, you are beautiful and you're fun

and you're good to me.

Stop it. I'm not that good.

Some day you may find...

You talk an awful lot for a boat.

To us.

Want to buy some illusions slightly used?

Just like new

Such romantic illusions

And they're all about you

I'd sell them all for a penny

They make pretty souvenirs

Take my lovely illusions

Some for love

Some for tears

- Good evening.

- May I?

- Get another glass, John.

- No thank you.

My, look at the kitchen floor.

- Look at what?

- Such a change.

This dress. This dress is from Iowa?

Oh, no, Berlin. Do you like it?

It's stunning but haven't you

got it on backwards? And the hair.

What did you put in

those pigtails, shoelaces?

- I like it.

- He likes it.

I shouldn't have mentioned the eyebrows.

Now her face looks bow-legged.

Miss von Schl?tow, I think

the pianist is looking for you.

Have you ever made any progress

hunting down that man?

- What man?

- My man.

Oh.

Oh, a little progress, only that's all been

postponed on account of another man.

Look at him. Isn't he beautiful?

Phoebe, please.

She always kids me like that.

- I know he's not pretty but he's beautiful.

- When are you leaving Berlin?

- Tomorrow. It's our last night together.

- Too bad.

What he doesn't know is he's going too.

- I am?

- I talked it over with the general.

- It was to be a surprise.

- It is.

- I can't go.

- Yes, you can.

He hasn't had a furlough in four years.

This is a bolt from the blue.

I didn't have the slightest, faintest...

Miss von Schl?tow,

isn't it time for your next number?

There'll be no next number tonight.

May I steal

one of your American cigarettes?

Hey, Pringle.

John, the Colonel's looking for you.

- Colonel?

- Yelling his head off.

He's got enough blood

in his eye to sell by the pint.

- What does he want?

- I don't know. Get down to his office.

Check! Check! Er...

Go on. I'll take care of the check. Hurry.

- I'll drop you on the way.

- I'll take Miss Frost home. Get going.

Why are you going? It's so nice here.

- I got to go. Didn't you hear?

- I forbid you.

- Phoebe, this is the army.

- I don't want you to go.

I got to go.

All right. You're in contempt of Congress.

Take care of our friend. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Fr?ulein von Schl?tow.

- How much?

- No, this is on the house.

- Thank you. Ready, Miss Frost?

- Sit down. Have some champagne.

Another bottle.

Sit down.

No, I really shouldn't be in a place like this.

Ha!

The stars at night are big and bright

Deep in the heart of Texas

The prairie sky is wide and high

- Deep in the heart of Texas

- Yahoo!

The sage in bloom is like perfume

Deep in the heart of Texas

Reminds me of the one I love

Deep in the heart of Texas

Don't suppose you boys

know the Iowa song?

- Iowa, where's that?

- In the United States, silly.

- Since when?

- 1846.

No kidding.

- Would you like to play it?

- We'll play it but we don't like it.

- My old campaign song.

- Sing it.

- No.

- You must. You asked for it.

Maybe there's some boats around.

Who knows? Go on.

loway, loway

State of all the land, joy on every hand

We are from loway, loway

That's where the tall corn grows

Fly away, loway

State of all the land, joy on every hand

We are from loway...

We are from loway, loway

That's where the tall corn grows

Everybody, sing!

We are from loway, loway

State of all the land, joy on every hand

We are from loway, loway

That's where the tall corn grows

This is a raid. All military personnel,

get out their papers.

Whoo-hoo!

Hey. Hey, you.

Who-hoo.

Hey.

Jawohl!

Oh, will you...

Where are we going?

Pretty hat. Let me try it on.

What's this? What's happening?

Where are we going?

- To the police station. This is a raid.

- A what?

- A raid. We have one every other week.

- That's ridiculous.

They want to check up on our papers.

We Germans have to have

our papers in order.

But I'm not a German. They have no right...

Of course they haven't. There's

no reason why you should submit to it.

You just tell them who you are and

they'll apologise and let you go home.

Only on second thoughts, is it a good idea?

What kind of an impression

will it make on us Germans?

A Congresswoman of the United States

of America caught at the Lorelei.

And where did the Honourable

Miss Frost get that dress?

The black market, maybe?

- Want some coffee, Captain?

- No thanks, sir.

- Just as well. This is the only cup.

- Yes, sir.

How about a jigger of poison

with a hemlock chaser?

More like it, sir.

Captain, I think you have as good

a war record as any man in this town.

You were on the first team since Normandy

and you sure carried the ball.

I know you were among the first ten men

to cross the Remagen Bridge.

I also know why you were in such a hurry.

Did you know what a hot potato

you had on your hands?

Well, not quite, sir.

I... had a hunch it was warm, all right.

Sometimes I wonder

if it isn't a waste of money

to import 11,000 ping-pong tables

for the recreation of you young men.

Captain, you might as well realise

we've been wise to you

and the von Schl?tow woman all along.

I kind of figured you were peeking.

The army has been counting on you

for a certain pattern of behaviour.

- You let us down but good.

- Sorry, sir.

Since that committee arrived,

you've been playing a double bill

with the lady from Iowa in the upper half.

I'd appreciate it

if you leave her out of this, sir.

You would?

Pressure has been exerted to have you

go back to the United States for a while.

- So I've heard.

- You're not going of course.

Of course. When do proceedings start, sir?

Captain Pringle, you're to stay away

from that certain party, off limits.

Suits me fine. It was all washed up

anyway as far as I'm concerned.

Let's get this straight. You're to stay

away from the Congresswoman.

Oh?

Pick up that torch for

Fr?ulein von Schl?tow,

light it again and carry it in public,

that's an order.

- Well, how do you do.

- You've heard of Hans Otto Birgel?

- That was her guy.

- He's hiding out in the American zone.

- He's dead.

- He's very much alive.

And thanks to you, he's kicking.

We had a hunch about him

so we watched Miss von Schl?tow.

Here are three letters we intercepted.

Someone tipped him off that his girl

has been seeing an American officer.

He's a jealous rat. He says he's going

to come out and kill you both.

- That's cute.

- Now, go on back and fan those flames.

Stick around the Fr?ulein until he shows.

I wish I'd never crossed

the Remagen Bridge.

Sorry, son, that's the way it reads.

OK, I'm going.

Only I think I'll have that coffee first.

Never mind the cup.

Just give me a spoonful of the powder.

- Do you have your passport with you?

- No.

You just tell them who you are

and they check with the army officials.

- I can't do that.

- Why?

What if the German papers pick it up

and there are some ugly references?

May never reach Washington.

Of course there's one person who could

get you out of all this nastiness.

Me. I could do it.

No names mentioned. No aftereffects.

Just as if it never happened.

Why should you? You don't like me.

It's not generosity. We Germans

can't afford to be generous.

We're very poor.

It's give and take if we are to survive.

What have I to give?

What do you want to take?

You know what I told him?

That you were a country cousin of mine.

Perfectly easy if you have a safe conduct

with the signature of

a kind American officer on it.

And you wanted to chop his head off.

Exactly what is it you want from me,

Fr?ulein von Schl?tow?

Let's go up to my apartment.

It's only a few ruins away from here.

- No, I'd rather not.

- You'd better.

You may need a handkerchief.

This is a beastly thing to do but you must

understand what happened to us here.

We all become animals

with exactly one instinct left.

Self-preservation.

Take me, Miss Frost.

Bombed out a dozen times.

Everything caved in

and pulled out from under me.

My country, my possessions, my beliefs.

Yet somehow I kept going.

Months in air-raid shelters

crammed in with 5,000 other people.

I kept going.

What do you think it was like to be a woman

here when the Russians swept in?

I kept going.

It was a living hell... and then I found a man.

And through that man,

a roof and a job and food and...

And I'm not going to lose him.

What has all this to do with me?

A little. You see, you want the same man.

Come on. I told you

you'd need a handkerchief.

This is how he looked when I met him first.

He was a lieutenant.

He sat at his desk interrogating me.

He had such a grim, businesslike face,

but fortunately I was wearing

my last pair of silk stockings.

He's really a nice boy.

You mustn't judge him

by what he did to you.

He hated it. I know.

Of course, he would come here

and feel so miserable and sorry for you.

Your plane is leaving tomorrow, isn't it?

Don't sit there as if it was the end

of the world. Nothing happened.

He played a dirty trick on you, that's all.

So you fly off back home,

wash your hands, wash your lips...

They've got so much soap

in the United States.

Sorry. You know this game of love.

If you want to take

the advice of an old gambler,

some people are lucky at it,

some people are jinxed.

They shouldn't even sit down at the table.

I do not imagine you care to see him again.

Why not go up the stairs where it's dark

until he comes in and then leave?

Go on, leave. Haven't you had enough?

What is this, a big scene?

We can't keep a gentleman

in the dark, can we?

Four hours ago you could

have had him court-martialled

and sent me to a labour camp, not now.

Not any more. Now you're one of us.

Hi.

What's the matter?

No kiss for your little Schweinehund?

I'm sorry I had to show up with that

Congress dame. She's gone dappy.

Doesn't mean a thing.

Leaving tomorrow anyway.

Come on.

Sorry.

I guess this is where the funny man says,

"Shall we dance?"

You are not a funny man, Captain Pringle.

But you are quite a dancer.

What a waltz we had.

Good night.

- Shh! Hey, Fr?ulein!

- Hey, Fr?ulein!

- Hey, Fr?ulein!

- Hey, Fr?ulein!

Ein moment, Fr?ulein!

Holy mackerel!

The last time we had

one of these, it lasted 11 days.

You're a great comfort.

You can't get to Washington soon enough,

can you, to dash off that black Berlin report?

No report at all, Colonel Plummer.

- No?

- I came here as an objective observer.

Some things have happened

which automatically disqualify me.

Aren't you taking it a little big?

- You know nothing whatever about it.

- I got a hunch.

In a way, I'm glad you took off the blinkers

and wandered away on your own.

It's a big mess we're trying to clean up.

There's a lot of rubble.

Rubble of all kinds,

vegetable, mineral and animal.

You walk around on it, you're apt to get

conked on the head by a loose brick.

Stop it, please.

I've had about all I can stand.

I'm sorry but I feel a little

responsible about that loose brick, Pringle.

- Colonel, please.

- I'm not trying to whitewash him.

There isn't enough paint in Germany for that

but let me scrape together

something in his defence.

- I'm not listening.

- Take it from me.

He won't get off scot-free.

As a matter of fact,

he's started to pay already.

It's no fun to walk around

with a target pinned on your chest.

I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me alone.

How's about some reading matter

for the plane?

Those aren't teardrops. I was washing my

hands when he asked me to give it to you.

All right, I'll put it right there.

Colonel Plummer, it's clearing. We should

be taking off in about 20 minutes.

- Thank you.

- Yes, sir.

Gentlemen, I was just informed there will

be no flights until tomorrow morning.

Now, we might as well

get ourselves back into town.

Sorry, Miss Frost. We're going

to wait for the fog to lift a little.

Amidst the ruins of Berlin

Trees are in bloom

as they have never been

Sometimes at night

you feel in all your sorrow

Her perfume as of a sweet tomorrow

That's when you realise at last

They won't return

the phantoms of the past

A brand new spring is to begin

Out of the ruins of Berlin

Amidst the ruins of Berlin

Trees are in bloom

as they have never been...

Hans Otto Birgel.

Amidst the ruins of Berlin

Trees are in bloom

as they have never been

Sometimes at night

you feel in all your sorrow

Her perfume as of a sweet tomorrow

That's when you realise at last

They won't return

the phantoms of the past

A brand new spring is to begin

Out of the ruins of Berlin

So we followed her all day

until the five o'clock shadow showed.

- Sure enough, she was Hermann.

- Well, doggone.

You sure spin some tall tales.

Yeah, well, how about this?

Hans Otto Birgel.

Big Gestapo man hiding out underground.

The only lead we have is that

he's still crazy about a former lady friend,

a nightclub singer

somewhere in the American sector.

Herr Birgel suspects she's two-timing him

so he crawls out of his hole.

Only he doesn't crawl fast enough.

So we play it up a little

with the help of an American officer.

A captain, to be exact.

Make a fancy story in

a Sunday supplement someday.

- The Love Commando.

- Ha.

Here's their angle. The Captain

isn't very keen for the assignment,

having fallen for

somebody else in the meantime.

You know how they cook it up

with a lot of marshmallow on top.

Then the story of how

they got the poison into G?ring's cell.

There were two scrub women...

Sorry, sir. The car has to pull in.

Keeping the street open for the ambulance.

- What's up?

- Trouble at the Lorelei.

- Birgel showed up. There was shooting.

- Who got it?

- I don't know, sir.

- Excuse me, gentlemen.

Perhaps you'd want

to come along, Miss Frost.

Hey!

Mm-hm. Two plugs right through the kisser.

No.

- It was an ugly kisser anyway.

- It was not.

He was no good

and he's dead and it's OK by me.

Ohh...

No sense of humour.

Take care of her, lover boy.

- All right, clean up the mess.

- Yes, sir.

Find him a slab before the Russkies

start tossing him up to the ceiling.

Go on home!

Come on, break it up, let's go. All right.

Where are you taking me?

Looks like you've got a date

with five million von bricks.

I have a paper saying I'm on the white list.

We know how you got it and it wasn't,

if you'll pardon

the non-Aryan expression, kosher.

You do not understand. There's a mix-up.

Yeah. We just sent part of it

off to the morgue.

- Just ask Captain Pringle.

- Forget Captain Pringle.

How could I ever forget him?

He's so nice. I will miss him terribly.

- Please tell him.

- No soap.

And no chocolate, no cigarettes.

Tough.

Tell me, Colonel, are you

that wonderful Colonel Plummer?

That's me,

only most of the time they call me delicious.

Colonel, if I could come to your office

tomorrow sometime,

when you're not too busy.

Miss von Schl?tow,

I've become a grandfather today.

Let's not be silly.

She's all yours.

Can they take me

by my apartment so I can change?

- I guess so.

- Come on, boys.

Has it stopped raining?

If there are any puddles,

you'll carry me, won't you, boys?

You two, watch out for those two.

Yes, sir.

- And you watch out for them.

- That ought to do it.

He said there were two plugs in your kisser.

There ought to be.

I'm sorry about everything.

- Except the time with you.

- Take that away.

It's true. With all the headaches ahead,

you'll be my aspirin.

That's nice, but what about my headache?

You're on your way back home.

You'll be all right by the time

you fasten your seat belt.

I love you, John.

No, you don't. I'm just a hit-and-run boy.

The kind of guy you need

is somebody to marry.

Well?

Oh, no. I'm not somebody anybody marries.

You need somebody respectable,

a senator, a Supreme Court judge,

maybe... somebody from

the Smithsonian Institute.

I know who I want.

Not me, I'm a heel, a certified heel.

I got documents to prove it.

Listen...

"Listen, my children, and you shall hear

of the midnight ride of Paul Revere

"On the 18th of April in '75, hardly a man

is now alive who remembers..."

Oh...