A Flintstone Family Christmas (1993) - full transcript

Fred and Wilma try to teach a wayward boy about values.

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♪ On the fifth day of Christmas
my grandkids gave to me ♪

♪ Five granite rings ♪

♪ Four paid vacations
three French maids ♪

♪ Two Piltdown snowmen ♪

♪ And a brontosaurus
in a palm tree ♪

It's show time.

Okay, read it to me, Barney boy.

Ah-ah-choo

Uh, gee, Fred.
It says, "Fatso's House."

Flintstone, it's 6:30
in the morning.

Cut the lava loving racket.



Ha ha ha.

Oh, that's just the caffeine
talking, Mr. Gravelberry.

It's Christmas. Try and show
a little excitement.

Uh, who's Flintstone?

Merry Christmas. I'm..

Boy, oh, boy.

What's happened to everyone's
Christmas spirit this year?

I don't know.
It's probably the world, Fred.

Everywhere you look.

"The Bedrock savings
and loanstone collapse."

Another drive by
stoning last night.

Give me that, Barn. I am not
gonna let a few, little problems

ruin Christmas
for me and my family.

Oh, great,
now, if I wanna read the news



I got to play scrabble first.

Ha ha ha.

Wilma, did you ever notice
how the boys turn

into over grown kids
every Christmas.

Oh, Barney's forever trying
to figure out what he's getting.

I know what you mean, Betty.
Fred's the same way.

Look, I got him one of
these new portable phones.

My specialty is call waiting.

Do you think he'll be surprised?

Oh, I'm sure he will.
He wants a pool table.

Ha ha ha.

Fred, Pebbles
and Bamm-Bamm just called.

They're on the next flight
out of Hollyrock

and should be here
by 4 o'clock.

Yabba-dabba do!

You hear that, Barn?

Little Chip and Roxy
are on the way.

My grandkids
are gonna see me play Santa

in the Slate Corp
Christmas Parade.

Just one of the perks
of working

in the biggest pit
in Bedrock, eh, Fred?

But we still have lots to do
before they arrive.

"Buy and decorate the tree.
Hang the stockings."

"Deliver these gifts
to all the neighbors."

Whoa, whoa, Wilma.

We have to wait
till everyone gets here.

Kids are gonna make Christmas
so special.

But at least go pick up
the turkeysaurus.

And some more quartz
for these gift stars.

I tell you, this is gonna be
the greatest Christmas ever.

Come on, Barn.

♪ Rudolf the red nosed
pterodactyl ♪

Alright, what's next, Barn?

Uh, it looks like
"the A n BC market

"for Christmas crumble cake
and two boxes

of turkeysaurus helper."

Make a donation
for a good cause.

- What cause?
- Cause I said.

Okay, give me everything
you got.

Uh-uh-uh, what
do we do now, Fred?

Unless that bird is
bullet proof, give it to him.

Gee, Fred,
I broke Santa in half.

Yeah, well,
let's get out of here

before he pulls himself
together.

'Okay, folks, sorry
you have to go through this'

on Christmas eve,
but we got a line up.

- That's the mugger.
- That's the mugger. That's him.

I'd recognize that face
anywhere.

Ha ha ha.

Fred, he's just
a harmless child.

Yeah, well, he was a lot bigger
when he robbed us.

Kid runs this Santa sting

with a partner
who plays the bottom half.

'Yeah, well, then you
better put out and APB on his pants.'

This is a tapestry of justice.

I want the book throw at him.

Stella Stalactite,
Bedrock Social Services.

This is Stony,
a caveless kid

from the wrong side
of the tar pits.

Caveless?

Oh, Fred,
he's just a child.

Sure he is, ma'am.

Would you like
to see his baby pictures?

Abandoned as an infant.

Stony looted his nursery
as the infamous Pinky Burglar.

He's terrorized
every foster home in Bedrock.

As a youngster
he was impossible to place.

No matter how hard we tried, no
one could get through to him.

I called the media.

He was even unwanted
by Bedrocks most wanted.

Oh, I'm not that bad.

He stuck us up with a gun.

It was just a twig.

See it doesn't even
have a twigger.

Stella, tell him that's a joke.

You're sure gonna have them
in stiches down at juvie hall

this holiday, Stony.

Oh, Fred, it's so sad.

No one should have to spend
Christmas in jail.

Maybe we could take him in.

Oh, sure and while we're at it
why don't we see

if Charlie Manson-Stone
wants to come for New Years.

Uh, I'm gonna be busy
New Years, Fred.

What has happened
to your Christmas spirit

Fred Flintstone?

I'll tell you
what's happened to it.

It's sitting in some pawn shop
with my watch and wallet.

That kid is not setting foot
in our house.

And that's final.

Creak.

Whoa! Great places,
Mrs. Flintstone. What a carpet.

Ill get some rock-nog.
Barney, come give me a hand.

Why don't you make Stony
feel at home, Fred.

Barney, you gotta help me.

Ha ha. Right, Fred.
I'll hide the silver.

Whoa, Mr. Flintstone, nice TV.
I can get you free cable.

Alone tonight, cave man?

Turn us on.
We're the All Cave Girl Network.

W-What.. Give me that.
We'll watch what I say.

Cable cruisers
are a big pain in the beak.

And now, the conclusion

of Frank Cap-Rocks
holiday classic.

Oh, this is my all time
favorite Christmas movie.

We used to watch this every year
when Pebbles was growing up.

'"It's a Wonderful
Stone-Age Life."'

What's that sound, daddy?

Why that's a sound of another
angel getting his wings, dear.

Gets me every time.

Oh, give me a break.

Christmas ain't that way for me.

What's that sound, daddy?

Is that another angel
getting his wings?

No, sweetheart.

It's probably another orphan boy
all alone on Christmas.

Get out of here,
we don't wanna think about

people like you
on a nice time like Christmas.

Oh, what a wonderful movie.

The only wonder is
that anyone believes

all this Christmas junk.

Hey, my grandkids
are on their way home

and you're not gonna put down
Christmas in front of them.

Why not?

It's the same as any other day
of the year only colder.

Look, as long as
you're under my roof

you're gonna enjoy it
whether you want too or not.

'You got that?'

What is going on out here?

Kids are supposed
to like Christmas, Wilma.

- This one's defective.
- Fred, Stop it.

The only way you're gonna
get through to Stony

is to start treating him
like a member of this family.

I say, let him spend
the holiday with his own family.

The Corleone Stones.
Oh!

Stony, would you help us
get ready for Christmas?

- Uh, I don't care.
- Good.

Now the first thing
we always do

is go pick out
our Christmas tree.

But, Wilma,
I thought we were gonna wait

until the kids got here.

Hey, Mr. Flintstone,
I know where to get a tree

at a rock bottom price.
Only 20 bucks.

Come on, Fred,
give Stony the money.

But, Wilma.

Fred, we have to show
that we trust him.

Catch you later.

Some Christmas
this is turning out to be.

Cling cling...

Uh...
Stony.

Gee, I-I don't know what to say.

That's the most beautiful pine
we've ever had in this house.

Thud.

Hey, that's my tree.

'Wilma!'

Fred, the boy took back
the Rubble's tree.

Doesn't that tell you anything?

Yeah, he missed Betty's China.

Oh, great. Now, what?

Mom, we're stranded
in O'Harestone.

Oh, Betty and Barney
just got here.

I'm gonna put you
on the speaker phone.

Click.

Hi, everyone. We're okay,
but there's a blizzard.

We just don't know, when
we'll get our connector flight.

Be sure to call
the minute you know, honey.

We love you.
Bye, Pebbles.

Well, that does it, Wilma.
Our Christmas is ruined.

Without the kids
none of it's gonna be any fun.

Cheer up, Fred.

We'll all be there
to see you in the parade.

- Uh, Mr. Flintstone.
- What do you want?

I wasn't trying to rip you off.

You gave me 20 bucks,
I got you a tree.

- What did I do wrong?
- You got me my neighbors tree.

So, I'll only charge you 15.

Ha ha ha.

Fifteen. That's a good one,
huh, Fred?

Ha ha ha.

Boy, oh, boy.

Girls were sure
a lot easier, Wilma.

He's doing things
the only way he knows how.

But at least
he's reaching out to us.

Yeah, the kid's
not so bad, Fred.

He just got me
the All Cave Girl Network.

You've still got a child
to share Christmas with

if you want.

Maybe he doesn't understand
what Christmas is all about.

Because he's never had
a real one before.

I'll try to make it up to you,
Mr. Flintstone.

I'll-I'll scrub floors,
dig ditches.

Even help you get those
ugly things off your front lawn.

Ugly?

Look, Christmas is my
favorite time of the year.

Just try to enjoy it. Okay?

Well, okay.

Oh-ho! I'm glad to see
you two working things out.

Alright, gang. Time to make
our Christmas rounds.

Everybody in the car.

You hear that, Mr. Flintstone.
Christmas rounds.

Boy, am I gonna
try to enjoy this.

So, can I drive?
Kidding.

♪ Santa's on his way ♪

♪ He's tearin' up
the sleigh ♪

♪ It's flying into Bedrock ♪

♪ In time for Christmas day ♪

♪ The caves
are decked with holly ♪

♪ And filled
with Christmas cheer ♪

♪ The town is dressed in snow
and so the Ice Age is here ♪

♪ Dinosaur's are hibernating ♪

♪ Everyone is celebrating ♪

♪ It's a merry Christmas
in Bedrock this year ♪

Whoa!

♪ The candles all aglow ♪

♪ And palm trees
capped with snow ♪

♪ It's a Stone Age Christmas ♪

♪ In Bedrock pum pum pum ♪

♪ Dinosaur's are hibernating ♪

♪ Everyone is celebrating ♪

♪ It's a merry Christmas ♪

♪ A very merry Christmas ♪

♪ It's a merry Christmas ♪

You know, Wilma, I think
I'm getting through to that kid.

I got a suit just like yours but
somebody ran off with the pants.

Yeah. Things are tough all over.

I'm not the real Santa,
you know.

I used to be a broker
for Dragful Birnhamstone

until the rock market crumbled.

People trusted me
and they got nothing.

Look at those little faces.

If they don't wind up getting
what I promised

they'll be crushed.
And it'll be all my fault.

Do you know the guilt
that goes with this suit?

Aw, everybody could use
a lift around the holidays.

Even Santa.
Merry Christmas, pal.

Gee, thanks.

Merry Christmas to you too.

Ho ho ho.

What do you want for Christmas,
young fellow?

Look, Fred, an eight foot fur.

At these prices it better be
an eight foot fur coat.

Hey, Fred, how about something
in anorexic pine?

It's your grandkids
first Christmas, guys.

The tree shouldn't be
shorter than they are.

Unfortunately
I can't print my own money.

Can you? Ha ha ha.

Hold this tree, mister.

Step right up, folks.

Here, there,
everywhere she goes.

Where she stops
only Stony knows.

- It's under the number three.
- It better be under number two.

What do you know.
Where's she go?

You little cheater.
Give me my money.

Help! Mr. Flintstone.

Something tells me that
isn't one of Santa's elves.

Help!

Hey, leave the kid alone, buddy.

That little rock-rat cheated me.

Stony, is that true?

No, sir. No matter what
I run a honest game.

You can ask anyone.

Please, believe me,
Mr. Flintstone.

Please.

If Stony says he didn't
cheat you, I believe him.

Yeah, well,
believe this, jerko.

Paging Dr. Schenck.

Dr. Irving Schenck,
please report to OR.

Dr. Schenck, please.

What next?

I've been mugged, insulted

decked with a Christmas tree.

Yeah. And now you're gonna
have to eat hospital food.

Flintstone, sorry
to hear about your accident.

Unfortunately it means
now I'm gonna have

to replace you in the parade.

- No, I can do it, Mr. Slate.
- Not a chance, Flintstone.

Your well-being comes first
and foremost with Slate Corp.

Uh, besides how would it look
if Santa died on our float?

Oh, Wilma, do you know how much
that parade meant to me?

There'll be
other Christmases, Fred.

Shoot!
It's all my fault.

Flintstone's house
on the double.

I have to get that Santa suit.

Oh, the things I do
for my rock holders.

You did what to Mr. Slate?

But I thought
you wanted to be Santa.

Help! I've been kidnapped
and locked in a bathroom.

Hold on, Mr. Slate,
I'll get you out.

About time you got here.

Break down his door.
Destroy his property.

Then get those
ugly lights off his roof.

Fred Flintstone,
give yourself up.

Stony, give me a han..
Whoa! Ugh!

Come out with
your hands over your head.

Oh, boy.

Couple of rules
to remember in the joint.

Don't call another prisoner
a dirty number.

And never slow dance
with anyone named Bubba.

Look, Mr. Flintstone,
we got a great view

of the exercise yard.

This is the most
terrible day of my life.

- Things could be worse.
- How?

You could wind up playing
Marie in the prison musical.

That does it.

I don't want you
crossing this line.

How come your part's bigger?

Prison rule number three.

The bigger guy
gets the most floor space.

- 'Mr. Flintstone.'
- Leave me alone.

'Want some of Mrs. Flintstone's
crumble cake?'

The bigger guy
gets the bigger half.

Well..
What're you doing with that?

On the street
you never know

where your next meal's
coming from.

You always save something.

Oh, thanks, Stony.

Too bad, this didn't come
with a file in it, huh?

Ha ha ha.

Mr. Flintstone?

How come you stood up for me
at that Christmas tree lot?

Because that guy
was gonna clobber you.

And because I believed you.

Huh! You're the first person
who's ever believed me.

I wanted to
...give you something in return.

But heck, what could I give
a guy like you

who has everything?

Getting the Santa gig back
was all I could think of.

That's...
Stony, that's nice.

But it's just the way
you did it.

It's sorta the way
you do everything.

Uh, I always seem to mess up.

Hey, you can't cut corners
to get what you want, Stony.

- Understand?
- Yeah, I'm starting too.

Maybe I just need
a little more practice.

I'm really sorry you're gonna
have to spend Christmas in here.

Well, like you said.

At least we've got a great view
of the exercise yard.

Yeah.

Come on, Stony,
I could see your placement

with the Flintstone's
went like all the others.

Hurry, Flintstone the parade
starts in two minutes.

Hold on a minute, Mr. Slate.

Mr. Flintstone.

Stony!

I cleared up the kidnapping mess
and you seem healthy enough

to be Santa
put on you hat and let's go.

'Stony.'

Stony.

Hey, Fred,
glad to see you got paroled.

Get any tattoo's?
Ha ha ha.

We have great news.

The kids got a flight
out of O'Harestone.

They'll be here by tonight.

Yeah.
Well, I got bad news.

The anti-social worker
Stella Stalactite

took Stony away.

- Oh, no, Fred.
- Yeah.

You know, he wasn't such a bad
kid when you got to know him.

I even think he was starting
to figure out Christmas.

What's this?

Merry Christmas, Stony boy.

Stony.

Stony.
Stony, wait.

On Donnerstone,
on Blitzenquartz

on Prancerpit.

Flintstone,
what are you doing?

Jingle jingle jingle.

Stony, wait.
Don't go.

Mr. Flintstone.

Tell the gang at juvie hall.

Stony's got a home
for the holidays.

Yabba-dabba-do!

A yabba-dabba-do-too.

♪ Three French maids
two Piltdown men ♪

♪ And a brontosaurus
in a palm tree ♪

ha ha ha.

Now, the trick is to keep
the pine cone moving.

he he he.

Come on, Stony,
there's one Flintstone tradition

we haven't done yet.

Newest member of the family
gets to hang the star.

Come on, kids,
that's your cue.

Me?

Welcome to the
Flintstone family, Stony.

You know, Wilma,
I got a feeling this is gonna be

the greatest
Christmas after all.

♪ We all want
some chocolate pudding ♪

♪ We all want some
chocolate pudding ♪

♪We all want
some chocolate pudding ♪

♪ So bring him right here. ♪

Merry Christmas, everyone.