A Flat for Three (2012) - full transcript

Three divorced fathers are forced to live together.

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Ulisse !

- Who is it ?
- Ulisse...

- Who is it ?
- Parcel.

l'm coming.

l'm double-parked !

l'm coming, l'm coming...


help me lift the shutter,
l have periarthritis in my shoulder.

- Periarthritis...
- Right.

Sign here.

- l don't have my glasses.
- Make it legible.

- Make it legible _
- Okay, it's an ECG...

Bye, thanks.

l____,lo, l have periarthritis _
You did that on purpose _

- l didn't know.
- l already told you mice _

- Shall l close it ?
- l____,lo, leave it open.

Ma'am, are you turning o_
the water at half past nine ?

How long will this work go on ?
Goddammit _

What a sad life,
l don't even have water _

Who is it ?


How are you ?

l____,lo, it's not a favour.

You're doing me a favour
Ietting me stay here.

When ?

Tell me, l'll leave right away.
l'll be o_ your boat in five.

Tomorrow afternoon ?

Goddammit _

Don't worry, l'll find
somewhere else to stay.

Don't worry, you're still the best.

You're the best _

See you tomorrow, thanks. Bye.

Motherfucker _

Where'll l go now,
under a bridge ?

Come in.

Mother, good morning.

l've brought you my monthly rent.

l may come back late tonight.

Around midnight, l'm inte_iewing
people at a film premiere.

Mr Brignola,

l think you've mistaken this place
for a hotel.

l'll make no other requests.

l'm looking for a place,
l'm seeing someone today.

That's very sensible.

l want to give you...

one of my books that
l think will interest you.

''Dogma of the Image
in l____,lew Asian Cinema.''

Don't look at the cover.

- Have a good day.
- You too.

- Here l am.
- Okay.

- Sorry.
- Don't worry.

Sorry l'm late.

- Brignola, nice to meet you.
- Diamanti.

- You're standing in for Mr Segato...
- Isn't that you ?

- l____,lo, l've come to see a flat.
- Me too.

Here he is _

- Mr Brignola.
- l____,lo, l'm Diamanti, he's Brignola.

l must've made a mistake.
Who wants to see it first ?

- l've got a delivery arriving.
- l have an inte_iew to do.

Let's kill mo birds with one stone
and see it together _

- Let's go _
- All right then...

This place has everything you need.

There are about eight square metres
upstairs too, l think.

We've seen it.

Eight metres which could be handy
one day for a child...

- Yes...
- Just a thought, you know.

Of course... but the ad
said it was ''furnished''.

- l can only see a buzzer _
- Yes, but it has electricity, gas...

- Those are the basics _
- There's not even a fridge _

- Why did you say ''furnished'' ?
-You'll need to buy a few things _

Anyway, the rent's GOO euros per month,

plus 150 bi-monthly se_ice charge
and 3 monthi deposit.

So to live in this dump
you want...

2,550 euros.

That's GOO euros per month
plus the rest.

What did you expect for that price ?

- You're welcome to it.
- l____,lo, l can't a_ord it.

Guys, you knowwhat
you'll find that's cheaper than this ?

Catacombs _

Okay, it's not suitable for
your needs, let's say that.

l have your numbers.

- l'll give you mine.
- Great.

You dropped this.

l've already done it,
l like to try, you never know.

lt's not suitable for our needs.

Think it over, Mr Brignola.
This is a great apartment.

Okay, we will.

My client is requesting

an extra 100 euros per month
on top of the 400 euros maintenance.

Your Honour, as our counterparty's
Iawyer knows,

my client already pays 200 euros
maintenance for his daughter.

- This extra 100 euros...
- And the mortgage ?

l pay GOO euros monthly
for the mortgage

on the house my ex-wife lives in.

l only have TOO euros left
out of my 1 ,_OO euros wage.

100 euros may seem like little,

but in these conditions
it's a matter of su_ival for me.

This is notjust a whim
on my client's behalf,

but a contribution
to her daughter's maintenance.

After all, it's certainly not
my client's fault we're here.


what's up ?

Lorenza _

Here's daddy.

Lorenza _

Didn't you hear the baby ?

Where are you ?

Won't you answer me ?

Here you are.

Why are you sitting in the dark ?

l was reading these emails
that are worthy of a cheap novel.

This is what she says to you.


l can't wait for Friday
so l can kiss you in the sun.''

- Very passionate, really.
- l can explain.

l'm worried about you.

You're so distracted by love
you forgot to sign out.

You reply:

''l can't wait for the weekend,
just the mo of us.''

And how do you describe me ?

''A woman destroyed
by post-natal depression,

dull, sick...

with no zest for life.''


Darling, l wrote those things
_enwe were...

- You're disgusting _

You cheated on me
with your bosi wife _

- l can explain _
- Like hell you can _

ln view of the facts,
l grant Mrs Mauri's request

and order Mr Brignola
to pay 100 euros monthly

in addition to the agreed amount.

Control yourself.

0e3r Ullsse.
once again l have to v_rite to you

to as_,you to pay
this _nth's m3inten3nce,

Due to your late payments
it's been h3rU to m3h\e enUs _et,

l'd li_,e to remind you that
in a fev_ months Agnese v_ill be 18,

Ple3se. Uon't _orce _
to go to my lav_yer again,

_et's try to avoid the terrible
mista_,es v_e've made in the past,

Than_,s, Claire,

- So it's true ?
- Calm down, you'll scare her.

lt's not down to me,
the decision comes from London.

Unfortunately, this new project
convinces no one.

So you knew _

But l found out from the secretary,
not my husband _

l did my best,

but after the result of the first
single, they don't want to risk it.

- Just bide your time.
- It's been five years _

- It's not my fault, Claire.
- Yes it is _

l told you it wasn't the right time
to have kids.

You can't have a kid at 18,
but you insisted _

ln these five years,
you've forgotten that l'm an artist,

notjust a housewife and mother.

- Why are you complaining ?
- Why am l complaining ?

Okay, l knowwhat,
you look after Agnese today.

Be a father for one day _

Well, really...

Dad, will you and mom make up ?

Sure, moms and dads always
argue, then make up.

What have you brought me ?
Is it a poem ?

A poem...

You did this ? It's beautiful _

Hi, Claudio.

Well ?

lf l said: ''Ouicksilver Messenger
Se_ice, Live in San Francisco'' ?

- What's the question ?
- The record.

There is no record,
it's never existed.

There was only a bootleg
European CD edition.

You're the only real expert left,
that's for sure _

- Excuse me.
- Yes ?

Have you got the 1_82
''Chart-toppers'' compilation ?

Ma'am, how can you ask me that ?

- A ''Chart-toppers'' compilation ?
- You don't have it ?

- l____,lo.
- Where can l find one ?

ln a bargain bin.

Dip your hand in and you might
pull one out.

Thanks, you're very kind.

You're welcome.

Did you hear that ?


buy something, you can a_ord to.

l'm shutting up shop soon.

You knowwhat l want.

lt'd keep you going for one year,
maybe even mo.

Claudio, l'm never going to sell
that object.

Think about it.

Can l help you ?

- What a surprise _
- Shall we talk here or outside ?

Guys, will you give me mo minutes
to talk with my friends ?

You think you'll solve this
in mo minutes ?

l don't have the money yet.

The recession has hit this sector too,
l haven't sold anything.

Be patient, l told Marisa too.

- You said nothing to my cousin _
- You said fuck all to my daughter _

l____,lot now or before _

l have some great news for you.

- Really great, darling ?
- Yes.

Come on, then l can go to work.

l wanted to tell you last night,
but you were tired.

That's right.

You're going to be a dad.

What's wrong ?

l____,lothing, it'sjust that l wanted
to tell you something last night...

l was going to tell you,

but then l decided to wait.

- Aren't you happy ?
- Of course l'm happy _

- Who are they ?
- They're...

That's my family.

l'm married.

l have a wife and mo kids.

- You're telling me after one year ?
- Has it already been one year ?

You're telling me after one year ?

You piece of shit _

You're a piece of shit _

- Marisa _
- Fuck you _

My cousin's working her ass o_
shampooing people's hair _

She's hired a Romanian babysitter
for her kid _

Who's going to pay her ? Who ?

She needs her money now _

You've got till
the day after tomorrow _

- mtch out, or you'll be sorry _
- Let's go before l wreck this place.

l'm really embarrassed,
sooner or later l'll report those mo.

l'll report them.


l know, l've missed you too.

Yes, l wanted...

l wanted to tell you l'm free.

l'm free for the day, we can meet
at the usual place, the hotel.

We can't go on like this _

Seven o'clock is perfect,
l'm fully loaded.

Like a gun, yes.

Just three questions each,
they're in bemeen shoots.

Try to respect the order,
we're running late, thanks.

Fulvio Brignola _

So it's true, from leading critic
to showbiz reporter.

Hi, Sandra.

ls the book about Clint Easmood's
min soul coming out or not ?

Yes, soon.

Listen, have you really split
from your wife ?

- Isn't that my business ?
- l thrive on other people's business.

Well, that's why we're di_erent.

l____,lo, we're the same.

You have to make a living out
of other people's business too now.

Hello ?

Who ? Domenico Segato ?

From the agency, of course.
Go ahead.

Salvato ?

Ah, Segato.

Yes, from the agency... Go ahead.

As you can see, there are three
spacious rooms,

a lovely bathroom...

This house has got everything
you need.

With a lick of paint...

Mr Diamanti,
have a look, walk around.

Make yourself at home _

But don't expect to find any
special designer features.

Guys, keep in mind that
an 8T-year-old woman lived here.

- Cigarette ?
- Thanks, l don't smoke.

- Mr Brignola ?
- Thanks, l don't smoke.

The rent is T50 euros.

- That'd be 250 each.
- Each ?

You don't get my dri_.

You don't understand.

250 from you, 250 from you
and 250 from me.

How can you think that

three strangers could live together ?

- And at our age too _
- Are you kidding ?

l've figured you out,

l've done an MRl on you.

For example, where do you live ?

ln the back of my shop.

- And you, Mr Brignola ?
- Temporarily l'm in...

- l didn't get that.
- l____,lor did l.

A convent.

ln a convent.

Forgive me for laughing,
but l wasn't any better o_.

l was docked at the port, on a boat.

l'm notjust o_ering you
a simple solution

but a fantastic one _

There's no reception here,
l need it for work.

- l____,lo reception ?
- Look, l need it to work.

So do l, that's the problem.

Listen to me, just hold it
where there's reception.

- There, three bars.
- But there's no privacy.

The strong point of this place
is that it's quiet.

- Give me back my phone.
- What's going on ?

l___,,lothing, it's the subway.

This is a major problem _

- Don't think of it as a problem.
- Holy shit _

l___,,lo, you can get anywhere
in ten minutes.

Ten minutes.

ln ten minutes
we'll be under rubble.

What if we don't get along ?
What do you think ?

What do you expect me to think ?

We can't wait to start
getting along.

But in the eventuality...

would you mind if l had the room
opposite the bathroom ?

- The biggest one.
- l___,,lo, they're all the same size.

l've already written your name on it,

lt's Fulvio.

Don't do that, we don't need
anymore banging _

We have a roof.

We have a roof over our heads,
hot water, what more could we want ?

- There's hot water ?
- Of course.

That at least.

- It's boiling now.
- Really ?

What are you doing ?

- Excuse me.
- What are you doing ?

l haven't had a hot shower
for six months.

Any newspapers l can dry o_ with ?

See ? He likes it already.

Listen to me, let's take it.

Trust me.

Guys, it's almost ready...

l____,lo smoking in the kitchen

and more importantly no throwing
butts on the floor _

Fulvio, the pasta will be ready soon.

l'll just plug my laptop in.

l____,lo _ That dickhead's
using his sun lamp _

Domenico, there's not enough power
for that lamp _

You overload it _

Sorry, l forgot.

This is no good.
l'm warning you, this is no good.

Just let me catch a few more rays,
turn the damn power on.

Turn something else o_ _

This is mad, us living together...

Come on _ Ten minutes...

Ulisse, l ate really well tonight,
you're a great cook.

- Thanks.
- Hush, or we'll put the TV in there.

l don't knowwhy it's in your room.

lt helps me sleep.

Ulisse, there's something
l want to ask you.

Why did you live in your shop ?

l was one of Europe's
biggest music producers.

l brought loads of international
artists to Italy,

won three golden discs...

And then ?

The head company in London
went bust,

a series of fiascos,

including my wife's record
that l produced,

more out of love than conviction.

Then one disaster after another.

My wife who was 18 when we married,
with whom l had a daughter,

left me.

- Sure, her record flopped _
- Domenico, come on.

That's why you opened a record shop,
in order to...

Yes, in honour of my glorious past.

l opened a record shop, yes.

- People still buy records ?
- Yes, they still do.

l____,lo o_ence meant, but it's like
a sad version of my life.

- Why sad ?
- Okay, without the ''sad''.

l was a big businessman, l ran
the best estate agency in Rome,

then at a certain point...
bye bye _

- What happened ?
- l gambled it all away.

- You gambled it ?
- On football, horses, and dogs.

Bemeen me and you,
l even spent a year in jail

and mo on probation.

- So what did my wife do ?
- She left you.

Listen to how you say it...

My story is di_erent to yours though.

- My wife was beautiful.
- And mine wasn't ?

- What about mine ?
- l don't know.

- l haven't seen them.
- A splendid daughter...

A perfect family.

But after the birth of our daughter,
my wife su_ered from depression.

And you got a lover,
so you're a bastard like us mo.

Like you, l didn't have a lover.

What do you know ?
Let me finish _

l didn't recognise her anymore,
she wasn't the woman l married.

She wouldn't talk to me,
we hadn't made love for months...

lt's normal that you go for a woman
in the same situation.

We didn't even do anything,
but go tell my wife that _

- She threw me out of the house.
- What did you expect ?

- And l lost my job too.
- Why was that ?

A small detail:
my lover was my bosi wife.

- ms she hot ?
- Come on _

- What's that got to do with it ?
- l was a top writer.

- More like a top lover _
- Enough _

Stop it, you're obsessed _

l was a respected critic

and l was demoted to a reporter.

- In whatway ?
- Showbiz news.

Who goes to parties, who's had
plastic surgery, who's cheated...

Anyway, in my opinion,

we've had a fantastic evening.

Don't you think ?
We're getting o_ to a great start _

l'm going to shower then go out.

- Has it been a fantastic evening ?
- It's been a terrible evening.

Where's he going at this time ?

The fact that he got arrested
gives me the creeps...

Fulvio, there's something
sinister here.

You're so beautiful, my darling.

l like your hair,
you should keep it like that.

- It's alv_ays been li_,e this,,,
- How l wish you were here _

Dad, stop it now, you always
treat me like l'm a dumb child.

Vou're not Uumb.
but you are a chil_,

By the v_ay. daddy's success
of the day,

_oo_,v_hat l sold on Ebay
_or 400 euros,

- It's ultra rare.
- Who is it ?

The mlker Brothers,
a bootleg copy of a Japanese concert.

Tell that witch mother of yours
l'll pay her tomorrow

and to get o_ my back _

Nov_ close your eyes.
l have a surprise for y_u,

- A surprise ?
- Close your eyes.

You can open them now.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear daddy

Happy birthday to you

- Thanks.
- You forgot, didn't you ?

Yes, l forgot.

- Bye, Franco.
- Bye, Ulisse.

Excuse me, do you live here
with my father ?

- Who's your father ?
- Segato.

- Domenico Segato.
- Yes, he lives with us.

l don't think he's here, it's locked.

l tried ringing, l called him too
but he's not answering.

Come in.

- It's urgent.
- We'll wait for him.

l really need to speak to him.

Let me introduce myself, l'm Ulisse.

What kind of a name's that ?

Don't make me laugh,
l've got fresh stitches.

- So what's your name, miss ?
- Miss ?

Don't be so formal.

What's your name ?


Did you have an accident,
did you get injured ?

- l____,lo.
- Did someone hit you ?


l____,lothing happened.

- Do three of you really live here ?
- Unfortunately, yes.

How crazy _

Do me a favour, try to call him,
he might answer.

- You're jumping out to call him ?
- We've only got reception here.

Great _

- Won't you undress, honey ?
- l want one hour of foreplay.

- My God _ One hour ?
- One hour _

Cut it out _

Be quiet.

- _ear you'll never leave me.
- l'll never leave you.

- _ear _
- l swear, l won't leave you.

- What did you take today ?
- l____,lothing, it's all natural.

lt's all testosterone, my darling.

He'll be on a viewing
or he's left his phone at work.

What a drag _

Domenico ?

Ulisse, the delicatessen was closed...

- Sorry.
- l____,lo, come in.

This is Marika, Domenico's daughter.
She's waiting for her dad.

- Hi, l'm Fulvio.
- Hi.

Did you have accident,
or did someone hit you ?

You're reading from the same script ?

- l said the same thing.
- Sure, look at her...

l dropped my orange.
Marika, would you mind...

l'll try calling Domenico again.

l can't look at him up there
at the window, it's scary.

- That's how you make calls ?
- The reception's bad...

Such lovely skin _

Sorry, l must answer.

l____,lo, don't _

lt might be work, hold on.

- Hello ?
- Domenico ?

lt's Ulisse, can you hear me ?

Your daughter wants to speak to you,
she's been waiting mo hours.


Hello ?

Dad, l left you seven messages,
where are you ?

l have to pay for my nose job
tomorrow _

lt's 500 euros _
The anaesthetist got pissed o_.

- You knowwhat ?
- What ?

l was better o_ at the convent.

So why did we say yes, then ?

- Because we're jerks, that's why.
- So what now ?

lt's too late _

l'm not leaving till you bring me
the cheque _

- What's going on ?
- It's the subway, another problem.

Why don't you leave this house ?

You were great as usual.

lt takes mo to tango.

Even if this time l sailed through...

l wanted to tell you that last time
it was 50 euros short.

- But it's okay...
- Are you sure ?

- Positive, but it's okay.
- l've got it.

Give it to me next time...


- Bye, baby. Call me.
- Okay.


- l'll put some music on.
- l____,lo, l've got a headache.

- l'm sorry, l was working...
- l've been waiting three hours.

- l've brought you cash.
- Cash ?

- Isn't that better ?
- There are mo 100 dollar notes _

- They're worth more.
- Less, actually.

You want me to pay in dollars
and in euros...

they'll think l'm a hoodlum _

Marika, l've had it with you _

Pay that bitch and get o_ my back _

Fulvio, l've been working all day...

Ulisse, l've been working all day...

l work my ass o_ _
What's her generation like ?

- l have a young daughter.
- She never calls me, never _

She doesn't give a damn about me _

She never asks me how l am _

Oh God, l feel strange.

l don't feel well.

What is it ? What's wrong ?

He's boiling.

- His pulse is fast.
- Here.

lt's saved as ''emergency cardio''.

- What's wrong ?
- It's happened before...

Let's lie down, slowly.

''Emergency cardio''...

Gloria, it's useless.
We're incompatible.

You're telling me were incompatible
after three years ?

What does that mean ?
The truth is you've never liked me.

- l____,lo...
- l'm not good enough for you..

You don't like the way l dress,
the shoes l wear...

the heels aren't right,
my hair's not right, nothing's right _

Don't be like this, come on.

ls it really over ?

- Really ?
- Yes.

Gloria, l repeat,
we're incompatible.

- We're incompatible.
- Get out _

lt's been over for months _

Close the door _


- Hello ?
- There's a sick person.

- Domenico Segato.
- Yes.

- We're in Via Sesto...
- Via Resto... ?

- Sesto.
- Sesto ?

Sesto Trinacrio 322.

Trina... Tango, Romeo, India...


Good evening.

- Is Domenico Segati here ?
- Segato, yes.

- l'm the cardiologist.
- Come in.

Sorry l took so long, but
the sat nav couldn't find it.

l didn't knowwhether to put
Sesto or Trinacrio...

- Thisway ?
- l___,,lo, thatway.

- l'll just get undressed.
- What ?

- The doctor's here.
- Good evening.

Sorry l'm late.

Where is it ?

- Here.
- These might be better.

Sorry, l picked up my headphones.

l don't feel so good,
l've had a rough day.

- So what happened ?
- He had a funny turn.

His heart was beating fast,
he was red, boiling hot...

When you felt ill,
did you feel a pain in your head,

or your chest, like a visceral pain ?

- l____,lo.
- Good, that excludes a heart attack.

Sorry, would you have
a glass of mineral water ?

l___,,lo, only tap water.

l____,lo, it's got too much calcium.
l have terrible gall stones.

- Listen, he's the patient.
- Okay.

- Oh God, it's an earthquake _
- l___,,lo, it's the subway.

- It's the one rushing to the depot.
- It could give you a heart attack.


80 over 30.

- You su_er from hypotension ?
- l___,,lo, not usually.

Tell me the truth, what did you take ?
Help me.

- What did you take ?
- He smokes a lot.

What is it ?

Viagra _

How much did you take ?

Three 50mg tablets ?

- Four ?
- Cash for Viagra, but not food, huh ?

l thought the redness was unusual,
l knew there must be a reason.

lt's a problem with... what's it called ?

- _sodilatation.
- Yes, sorry.

Thanks, you're right.

Shall we check your heart ?

- Let's buy some mineral water.
- He said he'd buy it.

Do you think she knows
what she's doing ?

She looks like she's been crying,
her make-up has run...

She tried listening to his heart
with her MP3 headphones _

- Can l have a word ?
- Yes.

l'll just say one thing,
it was my father's.

What was ?

Will you buy it o_ me ?

l have one, and l have no cash.

Could you sell it for me,
it could have belonged to...

- To who ?
- Frank Zappa _

You think he wore a self-winding watch
with a calf-skin strap ?

Why, what did he wear ?

He played naked,
he didn't wear a shirt _

lt's crocodile skin, anyway.

Fulvio, let's not confuse junk
with vintage, which is serious.

Don't you dare, this watch
belonged to my father.

Yes, but not to Frank Zappa.
That's nonsense.

He had a serious hypotension seizure.

With what he took he should
go to the hospital.

l've written it all down,
he should have an ECG.

- l didn't get that, sorry.
- An ECG.

Are you his friends ?

Let's say we live together.

Tell him not to take those things,
they're bad for him.

These are private matters,
we hardly know each other.

That's right, we hardly know
each other _

- We chose the wrong house...
- Why tell her ?

The wrong house, the wrong housemates,
we're incompatible _

Why the outburst now ?

He's not angry with you _
Are you okay ?

Don't you feel well ?

Let me sit down.
Got any tranquillizers ?

Tell me you have.

- l____,lo, we're all out.
- Dammit _

Some sugar then ?

- Just a spoonful, or a cube ?
- We've got that.

- l feel faint.
- l'll see what l can find.

Can you get my bag, too ?

lt's been a really tough evening.

When your friend said the word
''incompatible'', l felt faint.

lt's the exact same word that idiot
used a few hours ago.

Who's the ''idiot'' ?

- Your husband.
- l___,,lo, a guy l was with for three years.

Tonight he left me,
saying we're incompatible...

Don't say that word.

But these things happen in life.

- Has it happened to you too ?
- Of course...

Yes, a long time ago.

lt happened to me mo hours ago,
it's not the same _

Don't shout, we'll wake everyone.


l wouldn't worry about it.

Things always work out in the end.

- 100 euros.
- What ?

- For the visit.
- Of course, l see.

- Is the invoice name Segati ?
- Segato, Domenico Segato.

The number we called you from.
l don't know his VA_ number.

l'm 20 euros short.
l could ask him, but...

That's okay, you've been so kind,

Thank you.

So we don't need to worry
about Domenico ?

He should have an ECG and take
the stu_ l've prescribed.

But we don't want to worry
about you either.

Try to stay calm about it
because incompatibility...

l____,lo, l meant ''di_iculties''.
Di_iculties can be overcome.

Destiny always find the right way.

- l feel better.
- Thanks for your expertise.


Hov_ old are you. 12 ?
You can't ring my door_ell at 2 am !

l told you to your face !

You're sic_,, you need help !

Hov_ can you help sic_, people
v_hen you're sic_, ?

She really is sick.

l'm surrounded by mad people...

Who the hell is it
at this time of night ?

This is the last night
l'll attempt to sleep here _

- Sorry, Fulvio.
- Yes, sorry...

lt's the cardiologist. sorry,
Did l leave my cell pho_e behind ?

Yes, l'll bring it down.

Hey _

- Here, someone called you.
- A guy ?

- Yes.
- What did he say ?

He said you can't behave like that

and that you need to control yourself.

Tell me the exact words he said.

He said that you're sick,
that you need help

and that a sick person
cannot help the sick.

He said that ?

He said a sick person
cannot help the sick.

- A sick person ?
- You _ You're sick, okay ?

- Hug me.
- Hug you ?

Oh God, l feel faint.

Let me sit down.

l feel so relaxed.

What a clear sky.

Look how many stars.

But it's so cloudy.

- Is it ?
- Yes.

You're right.

Sorry, but l feel so strange...

lt's been a tough day...
l can see stars too now _

What happened with your wife ?

Are you still friends ?

So, so, not really,

but l get on well with my daughter.

l don't see her often because
she lives in Paris but we talk.

- She's a great girl.
- Paris is lovely...

lt is _

Have you always had
a passion for music ?

Yes, but it's more than a passion.

When l was a record producer,
it was great...

Music was di_erent.

- It was something else.
- There's music now too.

Yes, but it's not the same.

You're the classic type who thinks
the old days were the best _

l'd like to point out that good things
happen now too.

Lucky you, you're such an optimist.

Boo to you, you're stuck in the past _

- Is that yours vibrating ?
- Mine ?

- l'm in my pyjamas, it must be yours.
- Oh God _

lt's him _

Was that you calling my house phone
ten minutes ago ?

You even call _ at ho_ !,
You're a psychopath !

l don't know your
home phone number _

Try to remember what damn whore
you gave it too _

For three years, you've messed me
around... and deceived me _

lncompatible ?
l____,lot that word again _

- Here we are. This is Gaia.
- Hi, sorry l'm late.

- You are Mr... ?
- Fulvio Brignola.

- Some more co_ee ?
- l____,lo, l'm fine.

l'll leave you to it.

Sorry l was late but Giulio,
the editor

told my mom we'd do a photo shoot
so l was getting ready for that.

l____,lo, it's no problem,
but the photographer didn't come.

Maybe we can take a few photos
outside later...


Miss Gaia...

- After your role in...
- ''lschia''.

After your role in ''lschia'' you were
voted ''Best girl'' for this year.

That's quite an achievement as
you're only 21 ...

l___,,lo, l'm 20 actually.

Just call me Gaia.

Let's start from the beginning,
your studies...

l____,lo, let's move on.

Let's talk about your aspirations.

Do you want to continue starring
in soap operas ?

Of course, TV has been
a great opportunity for me.

Even if in actual fact
my dream is to star in films.

What director would you like
to work with ?

As it's a dream, l'll tell you.

My ideal partner is Matt Damon.

We'd be good together.
While as director...

l think Muccino is the best.

- Am l dreaming too much ?
- l____,lo _

lt's a feasible dream.

l know him, l've written about him
many times...

You know Gabriele Muccino ?


Good morning _

My goodness, there was no parking _
l walked for miles.

l probably won't find my car now _

- What a surprise, ma'am _
- Ma'am ? Call me Gloria _

l wanted to apologize
for that terrible evening.

- l____,lo _
- Yes...

You know how long the call lasted ?

- Guess.
- l don't know.

Two hours _

l spent the whole time with my arm
hanging out of the window.

He wouldn't stop talking.

Then he said to me:
''You're not saying anything _''

So l calmly replied,
''Why don't you just fuck o_ ?''

- ms l wrong ?
- Pardon ?

- ms l wrong ?
- l___,,lo, you were right.

- Sit down.
- May l ?

- This music is great _
- Scott mlker.

- Who ?
- Scott mlker, a great singer.

- Look what l brought you.
- Biscuits ?

l made them, they're fat-free.

- Thanks.
- For breakfast.

- What is it ?
- l____,lothing.

- Don't you like them ?
- They're hard, l broke a tooth.

l'm sorry, let me see.

- It's a reconstruction anyway _
- So what ? The biscuit was hard _

They have no butter,
they're better for you.

l___,,lot for my teeth though _

- Just have them for breakfast.
- Good idea.

- Oh God _
- What ?

- Is that your daughter as a kid ?
- Yes, Agnese was 5 then.

How sweet _

- What's up ?
- She's really sweet _

ls something wrong ?

l'm fine, it's this music...

lf it has this e_ect on you,
l'll turn it o_...

l____,lo, leave it, it's great.

- l'm a bit emotional.
- l can see that.

- Do you sell gi_s too ?
- Gi_s ?

These are cult objects that
belonged to great rock stars.

l___,,lice belt, can l try it on ?


This belt belonged
to the great Jim Morrison.

- He wore it for his last concerts.
- Cool, Jim Morrison _

The guy from Queen ?

l____,lo, from The Doors.

The Doors.

Hold on, my phone.

l can't find it...

Hello ?

Yes, Via Fonteiana 3_.

Okay, l'm on my way.
Dammit, l have to go.

- A heart attack ?
- Maybe.

By the way,
did your friend have an ECG ?

- l don't know.
- He should have one.

- l surprised you today.
- Yes, you broke my tooth too.

l____,low l'll expect a surprise
from you too.

- Okay.
- But don't tell me, it's a surprise.

- Your daughter's lovely.
- Thanks, bye.

Goddammit _

You've su_ered a lot.

A woman...
A woman made you su_er ?

But l can see good news,

a hand li_ing you,
taking you up...

- It's a woman's hand.
- Really ?

By the way, l'll never be able
to thank you enough.

- What for ?
- For the audition with Gabriele.

l don't want to say anything,

but l think he really liked me.

FOR THE AUDITlOl____,l ?

He said: ''See you very soon'' _
Isn't that great ?

l'm pleased,
but l didn't do anything.

That's not true, you did a lot.

Would you like some limoncello
or iced vodka ?

l____,lo, thanks.


We can have a drink at my place.

- l'mjust going to the toilet.
- Okay.

l'll be right back.

Sir, this is your medical card,
not your credit card.

That's what l came to say.

l must've left my credit card at home,
l'll pay cash.

108 euros.


- l'm mo short...
- Don't worry.

- l'm sorry for the waiters.
- Don't worry.

Good idea.

Shall we go to my bedroom ?
We'll be more comfortable.

Good idea.

Good idea.

Co_ee's ready _

What's up ? How come
you're so full of life today ?

Good morning.

- Who moved my lottery ticket ?
- l____,lot me.

What's her score out of ten ?

- What score would we give her....
- What score ?

He's going after Lolitas now _

Why are we doing this ?

- l went with her.
- You screwed her ?

- Yes.
- Really ?

lt'll be easy to get it up
with her, she's gorgeous.

l don't need Viagra like you _

You try sleeping with grannies,
you'd need plutonium.

- Why, who sleeps with grannies ?
- Me.

To make ends meet,
l accompany mature women.

- You're an escort ?
- l___,,lo, l accompany them.

They pay you for sex,
you're a gigolo.

- l'm not, l just accompany them _
- Where ?

- Home, to hotel, wherever.
- But you always... ?

- In the car.
- Have safe sex ?

Of course, l wear mo condoms,

close my eyes
and use my imagination.

l____,lowwho is it ?

- Yes ?
- l'm looking for Domenico Segato.

Come in.

For example, what do you think of ?

Once in Jesolo, there was
a German girl called Ulriche.

- She had a huge pair of boobs _
- Domenico...

Daddy's darling _
Where's my kiss ?

- Hi, daddy.
- Look how beautiful you are _

You could've called me _

Your o_ice told me where you were,
l've been looking all over.

You changed your number, house...
you may as well change identity _

Three of us live in this dump.

l couldn't care less
if there were 33 of you _

- What's mommy saying ?
- Knowwhat ''monthly'' means ?

You're lucky l didn't call my dad.

l___,,lo, why would you do that ?

One week, mo at most...
l swear on...

- Linda.
- l swear on Linda's life.

- He doesn't even remember her name.
- l swear to you.

Don't do that, leave her alone.

Don't touch her, you'll ruin her.

l'll give it to you within ten days,
l swear.

Do it, or you'll get hurt this time.

Bye, Linda _

- How many kids does he have ?
- l've lost count.

- He's basically got a harem.
- l'm uncomfortable living here.

l did warn you.

This music is great _

- Is it The Doors ?
- Yes.

l got it right, see ?

We had plenty of ideals and energy.
We were happier.

Here's your tea,
it'll help us digest.

My goodness _

l feel hot, l've drunk too much beer.

Aren't you hot ?

A bit.

What's wrong ?

- l'm out of practice.
- Maybe you're a bit rusty.

A bit.

Are you addicted to solitude ?

Yes, a lot.

- How complicated our lives are _
- You're right.

So complicated.

Oh God, l've broken it.

Everything breaks in this place,
don't worry...

l'm sorry. Will you hug me ?

- Yes.
- Harder.

- Harder _
- More ?

- You think l'm too drunk ?
- Too right.

Close your eyes, relax.

l'll close mine too.

Ulisse, there's someone at the door.

- l heard, someone's at the door.
- Who is it ?

We slept together
in just 80 centimetres.

- l know.
- Does that mean something ?

- l think so.
- It does.

- l'm coming _
- l'll take a shower.

lt's not much of a shower.

l'm coming _

Who is it ?

Who is it ?

- Yes ?
- Hello, l'm looking for my wife.

- You're mistaken, this is a shop.
- l'm not, her car is outside.

This is a block of flats,
12 people live here.

l know she spent the night here.

There's no hot water left.

- Gloria _
- Luciano _

- Who is he ?
- Why are you here ?

- Do they know you're out ?
- Out from where ?

- Yes, they know.
- Who are you anyway ?

- Who are you ?
- This is my shop.

- Why is my wife here ?
- How the hell do l know ?

- Get dressed, we're going home.
- Luciano, hug me _

Do you remember we've not been
together for ten years ?

- l____,lo, let's go home.
- He doesn't remember.

Who is he ?

He's crazy, he's my ex-husband.
He's sick.

ls he crazy ?


mit here for me, Luciano.

Don't worry.

Don't crease that cover
or l'll kill you.

- Don't crease his cover _
- You're kicking me out ?

- l'll call you.
- You're leaving a madman in here ?

- Let me deal with him.
- Careful, it'll break _

Oh God, it broke.

l'VE CALLED Al____,l AMBULAl____,ICE,

Gloria, there's an ambulance
on its way.

What's he wrecking ?

Gloria, come here.

Come here, there's a lever.
Help me get the shutter up.

lt's not me that's mad _

lt's not me, the madman's in there.

- We have to get this shutter open _
- Let's call the fire-fighters _

Call the fire-fighters.

He's wrecked the place _

That was my whole life _

- We'll sort it out, don't worry.
- He's wrecked everything, bastard _

Don't worry, we'll help you.

l'm not even insured.


l'm sorry, l'll sell my house
if l have to, l'll pay you back.

Can l say something to you ?


Get lost, you and that madman _
You've wrecked everything _

You're both mad _

What the hell, look...

l need this loan for my daughter

because she has a sort of asthma.

You didn't mention this
at our previous meeting.

- This changes matters.
- Why ?

We need a doctor's diagnosis
and your daughters tests.

- Which you have, right ?
- Yes _

Then we can make an application,
l'll see you soon.


Fulvio Brignola _ Angelo Del Fante,
remember me ? From high school _

- Howare you ?
- Fine.

Are you here for a loan too ?

l have pictures of you,
will you friend me on Facebook ?

l came o_ it. l'll find you.

Mr Litrico _

The fridge is empty.

You were supposed to do the shopping.

Ulisse, l know your shop got trashed,
but don't take it out on me.

l have other things on my mind,
Iook at my test results.

The cardiologist found that
my blood pressure is 1T5 over 105

and she gave me loads of medication.

l can't do certain things anymore.

You mustn't.

Right, so you'll give me cash
for my wives, kids...

the lawyers...

Luckily my son got a scholarship
at Luiss University.

Lucky you,

today l used my mo-year-old daughter
to try to get a bank loan

and l didn't even get it _

Why are you looking at me ?

- You looked at me.
- l____,lo, we were all...

My shop's been wrecked,
l haven't sold anything on Ebay,

stop looking at me,
l have nothing _

l think l have a solution.

- Meaning ?
- There's one of my ladies...

- A wife or a client ?
- Don't interrupt me _

- Well, you've got 50 wives _
- She's a client.

She has so many jewels

that if a fewwent missing,
it'd make no di_erence to her

but it would to us.

- What are you saying ?
- It's an easy job.

- You want us to steal ?
- It's not stealing _

- Are you kidding ?
- l____,lo.

Tell me you're kidding.

l'm not kidding, we'll steal from
the rich to give to the poor.

You're freakin' Robin Hood now ?
By the way, what's for dinner ?

A pint of milk with biscuits,
we'll dunk them.

This is a real Italian-style comedy _

How sad...

Hello, Gloria ?
Don't hang up, it's Ulisse.

Ulisse, how nice to hear from you.

What a wonderful present,
today's my birthday _

Really ? Happy birthday _

Listen, l didn't mean those things
l said to you earlier.

l know, l'm not stupid.

- mnt to give me another present ?
- What ?

l've invited come colleagues to dinner
to celebrate.

They're all pretty and nice,
do you want to come ?

Well, l said l'd go out to eat
with my flatmates.

- Bring them too.
- Really ?

Okay then.

The more, the merrier.

We'll be with you soon, okay ?

- Okay, thanks.
- Bye.


we're saved, we're going to eat _

- Gloria, do you need a hand ?
- l____,lo, l can manage.

l'm good in the kitchen.

- While we're waiting...
- You've finished all the chips.

- l haven't eaten for mo days _
- Domenico, sit down _

Stop standing up.
Come on, we'll move up.

Don't worry, l'll sit here.

Listen, so...

Oh God, l broke the sofa.

- Is it from a Chinese shop ?
- Sit here, come on.

lt's all right, l'll sit here.

Listen, what do you do ?

l'm an estate agent.

- l'll get some wine. Red or white ?
- Red.

- Dragon breath _
- Who ?

The one l was talking to.
l'm an expert on ''dog'' breath.

Keep your voice down, be quiet.

Here's Gloria's lasagne _

l___,,lo, buddy _ Ladies first _

Ladies first _

There's enough for everyone.

Happy birthday.

Get some drinks.

Why not take the table too ?
Scroungers _

lt's good.

Why be so formal ?

Another one.

Another one.

lt's good luck _
Come, let me show you round.

This is the bedroom.

- Do you like it ?
- Very much.

- Take your jacket o_.
- My jacket ?

Yes, relax.

- Why have you closed the door ?
- For a bit of privacy.

You said you had
extrasystolic arrhythmia.

What did l say ?

Yes, doctor, l've had
a few episodes this week.

Go on, pull your T-shirt up.

- l'll check you over.
- Yes.

- There.
- What can you hear ?

Ouickened heartbeat,
extrasystolic arrhythmia.

- Do l have heart disease ?
- l___,,lo, you knowwhat this is ?

- What ?
- Emotional hypotension.

l____,lo, keep them on.

They suit you.

- You like me as a cardiologist ?
- A lot.

With my glasses...
You're a bit kinky...

You like weird things _

- Oh God _
- Shit, not in the eye _

Sorry, l didn't mean to do that.

Let's play charades. l'll start.

''Miracle in Milan''
De Sica-Zavattini, 1_!51 .

l___,,lo, ''Harry Potter''.

Honey, please, not charades...

This party's a real drag _

You're really not very nice _

Are you married ?

- Yes, l am.
- Are you sure ?

l have three kids, not one.

- Are you married ?
- Yes, with a daughter.

- Are you married ?
- When we get the green light.

l knew it...

What's up ?

- Is your tongue paralysed ?
- In what way ?

You're all still,
even your hands are still.

lt's all happened so suddenly,
l'm a bit...

- Do you like me ?
- Yes.

- You like me.
- Yes.

You don't like me.

You're a bit rusty.

- l'll be your rust-resistor.
- l'm rusty ?

- Yes.
- l'm rusty ?

l'll show you _

- What is it ?
- Oh God, it hurts _

- What did l do ?
- l have a pro... a protru...

- A protrusion ?
- Yes, c5 and c4.

- Sorry, what can l do ?
- Put me on the bed.

l have a blog, do you use email ?

l____,lo, l don't surf.

Guys, it's been an hour,
where the hell are those mo ?

- Where's the cake ?
- You've eaten everything _

Crisps, olives, most of the lasagne,
you almost ate the table _

When did you last eat ?

Let me ask you something,
how long have you been eating for ?

You are extremely rude.

l'm the only one who can talk
as l didn't eat or complain about it.

But you, as a guest,
have o_ended my friend

and that idiot who's holed up
in her bedroom _

- l'm going, let's go.
- What an idiot _

Bye _

What brought this tension on ?

l____,lot again _

Why do you move away when
l come close ? Are you shy ?

- Don't you know ?
- Knowwhat ?

l'm asking myself, don't you know ?

Tell me what l should know.

Your breath stinks _

Goddammit, she's got a methane-mouth _

- l don't want to be asphyxiated.
- You go too far.

- l've had enough...
- You think the cake's in the fridge ?

- Why ?
- We'll eat it for breakfast tomorrow.

- Good idea.
- We'll dunk it in our milk.

Holy shit, you've got hollow legs _

You have guests, we need to cut
the cake, shall we go ?

- You're right.
- They'll think we're rude.

- Kiss me _
- What did you say ?

- Did you hear me ?
- What did you say ?

- Kiss me _
- Again ?

- Yes.
- Properly, okay ?


l've missed the last one.

Who cares, l'll walk.

Young man _

- Young man _
- You're talking to me ?

Sorry, l thought you were younger.

Do you need a bit of company ?

l'm fine as l am and l'm broke,
so get over it.

lf things are that bad,
go jump in the river _

What happened ?

- Did it break down ?
- We've run out of fuel.

We've got five euros but in change.
Do you have a 5 euro note ?

- What ?
- A 5 euro note.

Are you joking ?

How come we have no money left
half way through the month ?

For fuck's sake _

Stop _

- For fuck's sake _
- Stop.

You need the car for work _

Shall we find a solution
to this shitty situation or not ?


l'll propose my idea to you
once again...

- Enough _
- l propose my idea once again.

lt's an easy job,
there'll be no problems.

So, l'll persuade my friend
to do it in the living room.

When the situation is under control,
l'll walk down the corridor

open the window,
then switch the light on, then o_,

then on again. That's the signal.

lt's on the first floor, Ulisse.
Will you be able to climb up ?

You'll climb up then in.

Open the first door on the left,
you'll see a jewel box...

it's full of watches, bracelets, rings
and all sorts, top drawer stu_ _

We've got nothing to lose...

l____,lothing to lose,
so we should go stealing ?

lt's not stealing _

We're not stealing from a poor guy,
that woman's a bitch _

- She's a bitch _
- So we should steal from her ?

What are you saying ?

Okay, you won't touch anything,
do anything or see anything,

can you be our lookout ?

- He can do that.
- You can ?

l'm totally broke,
but l do have some dignity left,

so you knowwhat l say ?
Go to hell _

- Can l have a word ?
- l___,,lo, l'm doing my accounts.

Why, how many records did you sell ?



You need to do accounts for that ?

lf you've come to bust my balls...

l just want to say one thing.

You're not the only one who lives
in the past, but this is the present.

Two friends are asking you to help,
you can't refuse.

We're all in the same boat.

Would you like to treat
your cardiologist to a steak ?

Or you'd rather scrounge food
5ore_ver ?

Fulvio, l'm not going to steal.
Okay ?

Just be the lookout.

lt's not a robbery,
it's proletarian expropriation.

Don't you see ?
It's a matter of su_ival.

ls that clear ?

l need to think about it.

l need to think about it.

- What are you doing ?
- l'm the lookout.

Cut it out _

Come on, Domenico...
what are you waiting for ?

l____,lothing, tonight l thought of...

something a bit strange,
a D'Annunzio-style thing.

So you'll whip me ?

Come with me.


Why ? What do you want to do ?

l want to chain you up.

The signal, come on _

- Put this on.
- l'mjust the lookout.

You want to leave me alone ?

Put it on, it'll only take 5 minutes.

- How embarrassing...
- Come on, give me a hand.

- What do l have to do ?
- Help me.

Help me.

Please don't hurt me, lieutenant.

- Keep still.
- l'll do whatever you want.

Let me work,
shut up and behave.

- Are you going to get ready ?
- Will you shut up ?

l'm sorry, lieutenant.

- l have to go in ?
- Come on, inside _

All clear _

ls that Domenico's client ?

- ''May the ground be light on you''.
- She's dead.

- Must be a dead relative.
- Or her daughter, filthy swine _

- She's dead _
- l____,lot her, Domenico's client...

and she keeps photos of the dead
here, what the hell...

He said first door on the left.

- The bathroom ?
- Maybe he got it wrong.

They're next door, l can hear them.

lt must be on the right.

lt's the bedroom _

Come on.

Be quiet.

l can't see with this mask on.

The bedside table.

There's a box.

Buttons ?

They're buttons.

There's another one.

- But she's a pensioner _
- mit.

Lieutenant, l can't get them
shinier than this.

Let me see them.

Can't you see they're not shiny ?

Orders are orders, come on _

- My back is hurting _
- l'll break your back _

Don't argue or l'll make you
lick them clean _

Do it _

- We've got the wrong house.

We've got the wrong house.

- A bed pan ?
- It's got a duck too _

- Maybe she's a widow.
- l___,,lo way _

There's another box _

Michele, did you drop something ?

Answer me _

- This way.
- Where ?

- In the wardrobe.
- Let's go out via the window.

- Close it.
- Why are we in here ?

Oh God, thieves _

The drawers have been emptied...
but how did they get in ?

Michele _

Hurry, thieves _

What could they steal from us ?

How did they get in ?

We have nothing _

Oh God...

call the police, l feel faint.

- Michele, what is it ?
- Call the police, l feel faint.

l____,lo, calm down.

l____,lo, don't mess around.

- Call the police.
- How can l call them ?

- l'm going to sneeze.
- l____,lot now.

- It's the mothballs.
- Don't sneeze _

- l feel faint.
- l____,lo, Michele.

The thieves _

What do you want ? We have nothing _

Where's the biscuit l threw you ?

- l can't find it.
- The biscuit, find it.

l can't find it, enough.

l'm exhausted, lieutenant. Enough.

You're not the dog you used to be,

you've lost your sense of smell.

You're dead _

Assholes _

You're a pair of assholes.

l didn't ask you to rob a bank
or a post o_ice,

l asked you to enter a first floor
apartment and open a drawer.

lt's not rocket science _

You entered the only flat
with bare owners _

Did they recognise us ?

Luckily the old lady thought
she heard a foreign accent

so they've blamed gypsies _

- Oh God, it's Gaia.
- l couldn't care less about Gaia _

Listen, don't come in here
calling us assholes _

- Why ?
- Sorr__/ ?

You put us up to it,
you incited us to commit a crime _

Stop this bad boy attitude you have,
you don't fool anyone _

My place ?

Why didn't you tell us there were
mo rows of windows ?

Couldn't you have told us that ?
Right, Fulvio ?

- What'll l do ?
- Aboutwhat ?

Gaia wants to knowwhere l live _

- What do we care about Gaia ?
- It's a problem _

- This is a problem ?
- Yes, it is _

l have other problems.

You know how many apartments
l have to rent ?

- Really ?
- Of course, l'm here.

- Do me this favour then.
- Don't worry.

Hold on, l'm in shock.

With everything that happened
and that could happen,

we're here talking about robberies,
apartments, pussy and Gaia _

l'll pay you for the last month
then l'm leaving _

l've had it with you _

Go on, go back to your damp
nostalgic shop _

Let him go, l'm sick of him _

With his headmaster attitude,

the butt-collector _

l can't pay you much,
l'm broke.

- You're my brother.
- So ?

Buy me mo packs of cigarettes...

- Shall l call Gaia ?
- Yes. Does Gaia have a friend ?

- Please.
- l'm kidding.

He'll be back in a weeki time.

You gave me a fright.

- Hi.
- What's happened ?

- Can l stay at yours tonight ?
- Of course.


Which one is it ? Sorry, honey,
but l can never find the key.

l've had the locks changed, so...

Here it is _

lt was this one.

Where is it ?


lt's here, don't you know ?

Sorry, you knowwhat this is ?
Confusion caused by work stress.

l wrote four articles today.

Great _

- Remember what you promised me ?
- What ?

- A big photo in the showbiz news.
- Enormous.

lt has to be enormous _

- l____,lice house.
- Yes.

The style is a bit classic.

lt was my grandparents',
l never wanted to change anything.

Let's put this in the fridge,
the kitchen should be...

lt's there, l can see the fridge.
You really are confused _

l'm tired,
it'sjust tiredness...

- l____,lice _
- Itwas my grandma's.

What an austere house, l'm surprised.

The light bulb needs changing.

l'll wash the strawberries.

l'll be right back, honey.

- Who are you ?
- Sorry.

- l thought l was alone.
- So did l.

- Did Domenico Segato send you here ?
- Yes, he did.

- l paid him a lot too.
- So did l.

l'm nearly finished,
just give me five minutes.

- The fridge isn't on _
- l'm coming, honey.

Sergio, tell me something,
is this your house ?

- l____,lo, darling...
- Whose is this house ?

- It's nobody's.
- l___,,lobody's ?

You knowwhat ? You're a shit _

A pair of shits _

Please, be quick and make the bed
or it'll be a tragedy _


Goddammit _

Sorry, l was...
What happened ?

There's no water, l turned the tap on
and rust came out.

And the fridge isn't on.

This is... the Filipino cleaner _

l go away for mo days
and he turns everything o_...

Fire him, this is a disaster.

- Can l get changed next door ?
- mit.

The analysis l have done
for my thesis

has led me to think

that to rea_irm the principles
of ethical behaviour in the State

it's absolutely necessary
and fundamental

to re-educate people in order
to transform them into real citizens

notjust sad consumers.

Very good, Mr Segato.
That'll do.

You may take a seat.

Francesco, daddy's little boy _
Did you see me there ?

Yes, l did.

Looking at you, l thought
about how strange life is.

Parents teach their children

and then the moment comes
when children teach their parents.

- And today you taught me...
- Why did you come ?

l said l didn't want anyone
at my graduation.

Can't your dad come to one of
the best days of your life ?

- l____,lo.
- Why ?

- l___,,lo, you can't come.
- Tell me why _

Because l'm ashamed of you.
Okay ? l'm ashamed.

_.romanstallion.it _

Aren't you ashamed ?

- Francesco Segato _
- l'm coming _

- You believe that bullshit ?
- Fuck o_.

l'll tell you the names of the mo
shits that played that trick on me _

Mr Francesco Segato,

in virtue of the power
given to me by law,

l proclaim your degree
in Governmental Science

and Public Administration

with a first.

The committee has unanimously
voted to give you honours.

Congratulations, Mr Segato.

110,OOO really seems to me
like a very good price.

l can't, l really can't.

l can't, Claudio.


you won't get an o_er like this
even on Ebay.

l wouldn't put it on Ebay.

This is my final o_er.

Think about it.

Honey, l've not heard from you
for three days.

- l _,nov_. sorry,
- What's been mappening ?


ls your mom angry that l sent
the maintenance money late ?

l____,lo, it's not that.

Do you need money ?

So what is it ? You look strange.

Dad, l'm pregnant.

- l didn't get that. sorry ?
- l'm pregnant, l'm exp_cting a baby.

- Are you sure ?
- Yes, l took the test three times.

This is a tragedy, a real disaster.

What did your mom say ?

She should be with you,
l want to speak to her _

She's out, l waited for her to go
to call you.

- Please, don't be angry.
- l'm not angry,

l'm shoc_,ed and disappointed,
i'm _urious !,

You _,nov_ v_hat having an abortion
at 1T means ?

- Do you _,nov_ ?
- l don't want an abortion.

Vou Uon't ?

Mom got angry too,
she said l have to abort.

- She's right _
- l don't want to.

Please, not you too.

Who got you pregnant ?
How old is he ?

What does he do ? Who is he ?

He's the same age as me.

- The same age ?
- Yes.

- So what should l do ?
- Co_ here,

To do what ?


l don't know, l have to think
about it.

l have to think carefully.

Why have you come to my workplace
too ?

l've come to say mo things to you.

The first is that as a father
l'm proud to have a son like you.

The second things is...
that l've come to apologize.

- What for ?
- Forgive me.

- For what ? What are you saying ?
- Forgive me, please.

Just a minute.

Marika, this isn't a good time,
l'm with your brother.

- l have to work...
- Please.

Give me the address, l'm on my way.

- What's happened ?
- Give me a hand with your sister.

- Get your helmet.
- l can't, l'm working.

lt's an emergency, give me a hand _

Hurry _

Girls, be careful,
these things can't happen.

What happened ?

l don't know.

- Excuse me.
- You did it again _

- Yes ?
- l'm the girl's father.

- What did you do ?
- l don't know.

You have to stop.

This girl is going through
a really di_icult moment,

we all are as a family.

lt's a matter of principle.

Okay, we'll give it all back.
l____,lo big deal _

- It's a matter of principle.
- Okay, all right. How much ?

80 euros.

- 80 euros.
- 80 euros for the stolen things.

l only have a 50 euro note.

80 euros all the same.

Here, sometimes they get
stuck together...


Let's go, Marika.

- Sorry.
- Goodbye, thank you.

- Move it.
- Your bag _

- Of course, l paid for that _
- Goodbye.

This is the Maxxi, an exhibition
space for contemporary art.

So many people,
are they all artists ?

l___,,lo, they're critics,
Iovers of art,

collectors, important people...

You see that man with
the red bow tie ?

He's the president of a bank,
a powerful man.

- Don't stare at them, it's rude.
- Sorry.

l feel a bit emotional,
it's a special place.

Will you explain modern art to me
one day ?

Yes, it may take more than a day.
A drink ?

Yes, thanks.

Hi, Fulvio.

- What a nice surprise.
- Hi, Lorenza.

lt's not the right time to tell you

but you owe me 3 monthi maintenance.

- l____,lo, that's impossible.
- You owe me three monthi worth.

Ah, plus the added medical
expenses for our daughter.

- You remember we have a daughter ?
- Yes, l do.

That's all l'm going to say,
Iet's enjoy the evening.

Alberto _

Come and meet my ex-husband.

- Hello, Alberto Shoemberg.
- Hello, Fulvio Brignola.

That's all for now.


You knowwhy we get along,
why we like being together ?

l've reflected on it.

lt's because we're both damaged.

- What is it ?
- l____,lothing.

Are you angry ?

- Are you angry with me ?
- l____,lo.

You knowwho l'm angry with ?

With my daughter, and you knowwhy ?

She's pregnant.

- So ?
- ''So ?''

She's 1T years old.

- And so ?
- He's 18 _

- What does she want to do ?
- Keep it, that's the tragedy.

- That's so wonderful.
- That's totally tragic _

lt'd be a tragedy if she wanted it
but he didn't.

They're students.
Who'll support them ?

Howwill they su_ive ?

Let me ask you a question,
who do you love most in the world ?

- Come on _
- It's a stupid question, but tell me.

lt's obvious, my daughter, Agnese.

lf your wife hadn't kept her when
she was 18, Agnese wouldn't be here.

- So ?
- We're going to Paris.

- What did you say ?
- We're going to Paris.

- Me and you ?
- You and me.


What are you looking at, dad ?
You're not a grandpa yet.

l___,,lice to meet you, l'm Gloria.

Agnese speaks Italian very well.

Thank goodness,
l'm hopeless at French.

She's a friend,
she helps me at work.

- You sell vintage stu_ ?
- Yes.

- l go to the odd market...
- Vintage music _

- LPs, singles.
- l like it, it's my passion.

Dad, l'd like you to meet someone.

- This is Guillaume.
- Hi.

Good morning.

Hi, Guillaume.

Pleased to meet you.

- l think they want to be alone.
- Yes.

Guillaume, let's go check-in.


l didn't see a man, l sawa boy.

l'm struggling to see
a future for you too.

What have you mo done ?
What do you eat ? How do you live ?

What have you done ?

Oh God...

Oh God _

G,OOO euros a month for 20 years _

Oh God, my luck's changed _

G,OOO euros a month _

- My luck's changed _
- Can l help you, sir ?

My luck's changed _
Go get yourself a co_ee or something.

lt's changed _

We're v_aiting for the article,
it's urgent !

The boss v_ants you.
yte neeU the 3rticie !,'

We v_on't run the page, dammit !

The editor v_ants you. it's urgent,
Call him bac'_, !

Where the hell are you ?
I need the article, call _ !

Vou c3n't Uo thls, yte're ln trouble,

We're ln trouble, c3ll the eUltor,




As you've honoured us with your
presence, make yourself useful.

Have you made her see sense ?

Don't start using that tone.

Dad's come from Rome especially.

Your mom is quite rightly
expressing her concern.

- At your age, a 1T...
- That's right.

She mustn't make the same mistake
l made because of you.

- So l'm a mistake ?
- Come on, you knowwhat l mean.

- You're saying l'm a mistake ?
- She didn't mean it that way.

- l'm a mistake _
- You're not.


Why do you still use
the word ''mistake'' with Agnese ?

''Still'' ?

Look what l'm doing,
singing to pensioners _

A record at 18 and a career
ruined by a pregnancy.

- You know how good l was.
- You were fucking crap _

Your career didn't end
because of me or Agnese,

it ended because
you were a crap singer.

You were conceited.

My career was a disaster
because l produced your record,

because l was madly in love,
unlike you,

and l didn't realise
you were a mediocre singer.

You were a mediocre singer,
understood ?

- Excuse me, here.
- Thanks, how kind of you.

Guillaume, listen to me.

Look at me.

Guillaume, something great
is about to happen to you,

something wonderful.
Do you understand ?

Why are you saying this to me ?

l___,,lo one can understand you
more than me.

- Why ?
- l wasvery young too.

But l lost mine.

l don't understand.

You had an abortion ?

l____,lo, l lost it.

l had a miscarriage.

And then ?

Then it never happened again.

So l'm telling you it's a wonderful.
Do you understand ?

- Yes.
- But it's a secret bemeen us.

Bemeen us, okay ?

Let's go, we'll join them for dinner.

- Me too ?
- Of course _ Let's go.

Franco _

Find mo punters for tonight,
for an American-style poker game.

Tonight, yes _

Yes, the cash arrived.

The dough's arrived _

Oh God _

Dear Editor. l'm v_riting
to inform you of'my resignation,

ln my life l've made many mista_,es,

Nov_ l find myself lost

and unable to gain control
of my life

but maybe l've understood v_hy,

We expect to obtain great results

We update our feelings
v_ith the same speed as a computer,

yet v_e're not happy,

The anxiety of not being
good enough remains,

l resign hoping that this anxiety
v_ill vanish

and allov_ me to pic_,up
_romythere l'U le_t o__,

l'd li_,e to earn myself a place
in he3ven,

li_,e everyone,

but l suspect there v_ill be
too many of us

and v_e ris_,finding
standing room only,

- That book interests you ?
- l____,lo, l'mjust looking.


- Tell me, are you worried ?
- Yes, because you're students _

- Whatjob does the father of...
- Guillaume.

- Whatjob does he have ?
- Renault laid him o_.

lt's a pitiful situation.

Haven't you also
been sort of laid o_ ?

At least he gets redundancy pay.

So let's say that we're
a poor generation,

this is a time of poverty _

- What did his parents say ?
- They accepted it.

- They did ?
- We can go live with them.

ln their small house in the suburbs,
we'll have our own room.

- Sounds like a crazy family.
- l___,,lo, they're a real family.

They're what we've never been.

l have to go now, see you tomorrow.

See you tomorrow, bye.

- Howdid it go ?
- So, so.

Let's go.


Do what you feel.

But be careful.

Be careful.

Guillaume, don't forget,


Claudio, it's Ulisse.

l wanted to tell you
that l'll accept your o_er.

The belt is yours.

- Sorry l'm late.
- Don't worry.

- Giorgia ?
- She's watching cartoons.

- l won't be late.
- Don't worry.

See you later.

Thanks for letting me see her.