A Diva's Christmas Carol (2000) Movie Script

? Ooh... ?

? Mmm... ?

? As the season

wraps around us ?

? Like gifts around a tree ?

? I can't help but remember ?

? What Christmas used to be ?

? As the child

inside me wanders ?

? To a time I can't forget ?

? Where candy canes and magic ?

? Filled the days

that we shared ?

? And the truth

of those moments ?

? Still shines like a star ?

? For the joy

that lives inside them ?

? Is where the season starts ?

? 'Cause the heart

of Christmas ?

? Lies beyond

what we can see ?

? It's the love

that embraced us ?

? Like arms around our need ?

? Yes, that heart of Christmas ?

? Is so easy to find... ?

? When good will takes over ?

? The heart of... ?

Hey! You up there!

You trying to kill me, or what?

C'est coupe! Cut!

Well?!

Don't tempt me.

Ebony, cherie,

are you okay?

Ooh, I better be...

If my throat got scratched...

It's bad enough I'm stuck

in this cheeseball,

fake fur, Bigfoot getup.

I'm surrounded

by smelly brats.

It's hot as hell in here.

You people are starving me,

and my phone guy is missing!

You know, you don't actually

have to dump that toxic waste

down my throat

to make it look like

it's snowing in here!

Perhaps they didn't

teach you that

at the Academy

de la Minimum Wage!

Je ne comprends pas!

Bitch!

Hello.

Get over here now.

And for the 90th time,

can I get some French toast?

10:00 in the morning

I still haven't had

any damn breakfast.

And don't forget

the powdered sugar.

...a la prochaine prise.

English!

We are very sorry

for having too

much snow before.

Not as sorry

as you're going to be.

And you, what did I

tell you about

the water?

Didn't I say if I

step off the set

have a bottle of

water in my hand?

Am I off the set?

Is there water in my hand?

What about this one?

Right.

Empty hands.

Goez-vous and get me

a damn bottle of water,

s'il vous plait.

Ebony...

What? What?

What are you all

staring at?

Do I have to start yelling?

What the hell is that?

Oh, you asked

for toasted French bread.

French toast.

French toast!

For God's sake,

aren't we in France?

You know what?

Ebony.

Screw it.

I'll be in

my dressing room.

Merde! Ceci,

c'est un cirque.

Oh, quelle merdeuse!

Elle est folle,

ou quoi, alors?

Yves, Yves, I am

so sorry, she's...

She is a monster.

Everything they say

about her is completely true!

No, no, see, we have been

on the road for months.

She's tired.

We've been going city to city,

a show almost every night

most of us away

from our families...

Bob, Bob, this is fine,

but... French toast...

qu'est-ce que c'est

French toast?

What you do...

you take bread, right?

Well, actually, first,

you have to take...

You know what?

I'm going to go try

and get her

out of her dressing room.

Ebony.

These, these people have no idea

how to treat a superstar.

You're the one who wanted to do a Christmas video.

To move the single.

Christmas is a marketing machine

we cannot ignore.

I know that,

but when you're squeezing a video shoot

in the middle of a European tour,

it gets a little bit...

Ouch! Watch it!

For what

we're paying them

they can accommodate

a few simple requests.

Great. Now what?

It's me, Ernie.

Can I come in?

Cratch.

Ernie.

You know, uh, paychecks

were late again this week.

Yeah, we had to shuffle a couple of things around.

We're short

again, Ebony.

Now how can that be?

I'll look into it.

Hmm...

One minute it's there, the next minute...

Poof!

Wait, I've got an idea.

We'll have a Christmas concert.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We'll have what?

When? Where?

Thank you.

You know, they're good.

We should take them on the road.

Whitney's got her own people,

so I...

E... the concert?

Christmas Day, New York City.

And since when do you

give a damn about Christmas?

A concert would promote

the hell out of the album

get a lot of good press.

So you're talking about,

like, a charity concert?

Hmm...

Just think of

the write-off.

A charity concert, mmm, yeah...

but, uh...

exclusive, intimate...

intimate setting.

Charge a fortune

for the tickets.

Tourists will pay anything

for a little holiday spirit.

Okay, and who

would it benefit?

So, how's the family

there, Bob?

My godson, little Tom?

Tim.

Whatever.

He's fine. About the concert--

you can't have it

on Christmas Day.

Oh?

We're off Christmas Day.

Your people want to go home

and see their families.

They've got the

next day off.

You can't do this.

Well, I just did.

Tickets will go on sale

tomorrow morning.

And how am I going

to tell everybody

that there's

no Christmas break?

I'm sure

you'll think of something.

I know.

It sucks.

I know.

I haven't been home

in four months.

Neither have I.

Yeah, but I have a kid.

Me, too.

Bob, I already

bought my ticket

home to St. Louis.

What am I going to do about that?

Well, you're just going

to have to change it.

But it's not worth flying home

for just one day off.

Well, that's going to have

to be your decision to make.

Look, your hotel in

New York is covered

for the two nights of Christmas.

Oh, great.

? On the two nights

of Christmas ?

? The diva gave to me ?

? Absolutely,

positively nothing! ?

She can't do this.

Hey, it's a charity concert.

Yeah, you know what?

Charity begins at home.

Well, can we at least

invite our families?

I mean, New York's

not such a bad place

to spend Christmas.

Um...

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Do not even tell me...

No tickets for the staff.

They're selling

every one.

I mean after all, it's a...

We know.

A charity concert.

I'll see you in Nice.

It's perfect.

We promise them

the proceeds

but when we deduct "legitimate"

production expenses

travel costs and financing fees,

we stand to make...

$1,276,000.34.

Not bad for one day's work.

Will that make up

for the shortfall?

I'm sure it will.

But does any money actually go to charity?

Absolutely.

I want to see

a picture of me

and one of those

giant checks

on the cover

of Billboard.

I'm sorry.

Bob, you promised you'd be home.

I thought that I'd be free.

Well, I need

some help over here.

I can appreciate that, Kelly

but you know I've got to work.

So where's this month's check?

We got paid late again.

Oh, you're just full

of good news.

Look, Kelly

you know the deal, okay?

Ebony...

Oh, Ebony, Ebony, Ebony.

That song is so old.

When are you going to learn?

When are you going to back off?

What is it with you and her?

Look... I don't want to have

this fight again, okay?

There's no point, is there?

I guess not.

Okay.

Can I talk to Tim?

Yeah. One sec.

Tim, it's your dad.

Any word from the doctor?

Well, he's still anemic

and his blood pressure's high,

so...

More tests.

When are they going

to figure out what's wrong?

That poor kid.

It's tough on all of us.

Well, here you go.

Daddy!

Hey, champ, how you doing?

I'm great. How's, um...

Paris, right?

Paris is okay,

but it's no Cleveland.

I can't wait for Christmas.

You still coming home?

I'm certainly

going to try, kiddo...

but, uh, we're getting pretty

busy here with work, so...

Won't Aunt Ebony let you

have a day off?

I wish she would

because I've been working

pretty hard

and I miss you bad.

Listen, do me a favor

and, uh, take care of your mom

for me, all right?

You betcha.

I wish I were half

as brave as he is.

Me, too.

Kelly, I love you guys

and I will see you soon.

But not for Christmas.

Kelly...?

I don't understand.

In the month

I've been with you guys

every show

was sold out.

She must be raking it in.

What's the deal?

She's just a miser.

I heard she melts down

her gold records for scrap.

Do you know, she won't even

let me get a new hairbrush

till the next

leg of the tour?

"Those brushes are $16 each.

If everyone got one

when they felt like it..."

Tell me about it!

I can't get new guitar strings.

I've been faking G for weeks.

What about that

hotel in London?

You know the

room is filthy

when you've got to pee

and you'd rather hold it

till you get

to the bus terminal.

Oh, well, Diva stayed

at the Park Lane.

I got a look at the rider once.

The promoter pays

for all of us to

be in good hotels

but she puts us in fleabags and pockets the rest.

Did she stay at different hotels

from Marli and Terry?

No, they were best friends.

Inseparable.

So what happened to Desire?

Marli died,

that's what happened.

Then she dropped Terry

like a hot potato.

Got herself a nice,

fat solo career.

Whatever became of Terry?

Who knows?

...writing a book on diva behavior along the way.

And now, after an extensive

tour of Europe

Ebony's returning

to New York City

for a special Christmas show.

Oh, this is us.

She'll perform songs from her new Christmas album.

So, let's go

back to 1988

when we got our first look

at Ebony and Desire.

No way!

Here's "Heartquake."

How is that for timing?

And five and six

and seven and...

Ooh! Don't move your lips

when you count.

Check out Marli.

Yeah, Ebony can barely

keep up with Terry.

Oh!

? You can't be serious... ?

I bet that look's coming back any second,

don't you?

If we're not careful,

it just might.

? Am I delirious,

or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical,

how much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical,

I know that it's a heartquake ?

? Love was a stranger,

never at my door... ?

If somebody moonwalks,

I'm going to lose my lunch.

? With love came a danger

I never felt before ?

? I was stopped ?

? In my tracks ?

? Too late... ?

You know,

I worshipped this album.

I wore it out.

That's why I was so excited to get this gig.

Tour with

the one and only Ebony.

I mean, come on...

tell me you didn't love this.

I have the 12-inch single.

? How much can I take? ?

? You can't be serious ?

? There must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious? ?

? Or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know that

it's a heartquake ?

? You've got imagination... ?

Bon Avion appel le passenger Ebony Scrooge.

Ebony Scrooge, s'il vous plait.

I was paged.

You are Ebony Scrooge?

Just Ebony,

if you don't mind.

Tickets and

passport, please.

Thank you.

Funny, you look, uh,

thinner on TV.

Anyway, well, you know the

7:00 flight was canceled

so we are trying to accommodate

all the passengers

onto this flight.

And, uh, you seem to have

an extra first class seat.

What's the problem?

They want

my second seat.

Oh, uh, that seat's paid for.

The promoter always

buys two seats for Ebony.

Oh, so you are

the one sitting

next to Mrs. Scrooge?

No, no, I'm in coach.

Well, why, then,

do you need the...?

Because I can't spend

an entire flight to New York

having my ear yapped off

by some Formica salesman.

I need my space.

I need my privacy.

I need to be able to...

If you give up your seat,

we'll give you a voucher

for a first class ticket

anywhere we fly

and a full refund

for this ticket.

Cash?

Oui.

Deal.

Well...

Bob, of course,

if you want the seat...

No, no, I'm fine

with the band.

Just sign here,

please.

? We wish you

a Merry Christmas ?

? And a Happy New Year ?

? Everybody get together... ?

Maybe they drive

like that in Russia

but here, in the

United States

we drive with one foot on one pedal at a time.

I don't see why

you had to cancel the limo.

Because I'm not paying 100 bucks

for a ride from the airport.

Right.

Well, pay the man.

Right.

Please help

the poor.

Save it for the suckers,

Grandpa.

Merry Christmas,

ma'am.

Bob.

Yeah?

Where is everybody?

The screaming fans,

the reporters...

the usual?

I-I did just what you asked.

Switched the plans

and lied to the press

so you'd be left alone.

Well, I thought

you'd at least

leak it to Page Six--

There's nobody!

God, do I have to do

everything myself?

T-Bone, I don't want to be disturbed for at least three hours.

It's going to take that long to wash the Parisian stink off me.

The Princess Suite, ma'am.

I guess the Queen

wasn't available?

Well, some people

actually prefer the more

intimate setting of the...

Please.

Well, it'll do.

Oh!

So bright in here.

Don't scratch that bag.

Hey, not bad.

Olivia.

How'd you get past security?

T-Bone? Please.

Aunt Ebony, it's so

great you're in New York

for Christmas; now you

can come over for...

Come on, come on, come on.

I know you want tickets

for tomorrow night's concert.

On Christmas? Course not.

We've got friends

coming for dinner

and we're inviting

you, too.

Mmm.

For some lovely frozen turkey.

Supermarket pie.

Box wine.

Box wine?

I love box wine.

It's so easy to gift wrap.

Well, let me consider

your appealing offer

for a second.

Uh, mmm, no.

Well, suit yourself, Auntie.

But I'm just going

to keep on asking

and one of these days,

you'll remember

I'm the only family you've got.

And then you'll come

over for dinner

and give everybody

a heart attack.

Whatever it takes.

Merry Christmas, Ebony.

Merry Christmas. Right.

Hey.

I just saw Olivia.

You're going to be hanging

with her tonight?

Of course not.

Got to get some sleep.

I have A.M. America

tomorrow at 7:00

a photo shot at 8:00.

How often do you get

to see your only niece?

Family is an

accident of birth.

That is so beautiful.

Have you ever considered

writing for Hallmark?

Hey, it's Christmas.

You know, peace on Earth,

goodwill towards man?

Christmas exists for

one reason only--

to sell crap to the masses.

This year I happen to

have a Christmas album.

I'm trying to unload some

all about that holiday spirit.

Please.

If people were really interested

in peace on Earth

they'd be doing something

about it

instead of shopping

and overeating

and dressing up fat, old drunks

as Santa Claus.

Hello.

Cratch.

Ernie.

Ebony, I need you to sign

the contract for the charity.

Which charity

is that again?

Uh, the National Homeless

Coalition, of course.

Oh.

Any good?

Sure. They help the homeless.

I thought my tax dollars

built homeless shelters.

Rat holes.

Most people would rather die

than live in those shelters.

Some of them might be better off

if they did.

Hmm.

But, anyway

that's, uh,

that's who we're helping.

So how about you?

I know this isn't your

favorite time of year

what with Marli's accident

at Christmas.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just need

a decent night's sleep.

Well, why don't you

try some hot milk

for a change?

Hey, Bob, you're not my daddy.

Hot milk.

I need sleep, not calcium.

Uh, yeah, I want to order

some dinner.

The Princess Suite.

Uh, spinach salad.

But make sure it's washed.

If I find one grain of sand

in it, I'm sending it back.

Seared tuna, but rare.

I want the inside blood red

or I'm sending it back.

And farfalla, but al dente.

If it's soggy...

No, if it's soggy

I'm coming down there

and shoving it up your...

You got it?

Charming.

Is there a snooze button

on that thing?

What the hell...?!

There are no earthquakes

in New York.

Room service.

The seared tuna and

al dente farfalla.

So dinner just got here.

What did I tell you

about the spinach?

There's enough sand in it

to make glass.

Well, somebody better

come up and get it

because I'm not eating it

and in five minutes,

it'll be on the wall.

Oh, now what?

Hey, I'm not paying for that.

Seven dollars for goobers?

Well, this is just unacceptable.

Hello!

Hello, get me the manager!

That was quick.

Boo.

Ebony.

Ebony, don't be afraid.

You know me, girl.

Like hell, I do.

I was your best friend,

your partner.

Sister, you need help.

I really am Marli.

Look, you may think

you're Marli

and maybe you look

a little like her

but you're crazy,

and Marli is dead.

You're telling me.

Look at this.

No way.

Way.

This Pharmalain's never

given me hallucinations before.

You know what?

You need to stop taking

those pills.

Now I'm getting lectured

by a hallucination?

I'm not an hallucination.

It's me.

I'm really here.

Really?

Marli?

I'll be damned.

You got that right.

Huh?

I'm here to warn you, Ebony.

About what?

You're going to

end up like this.

What? You haven't aged a day.

Because I'm dead.

No, it's worse.

Undead, stuck in limbo,

wandering forever.

Well, you don't look so bad.

Nothing a little Lancome

and Spackle can't fix.

This... this is for you.

This is what I

really look like.

Blech!

Well, I guess they don't

have facials in the afterlife.

Facials?!

Girl, no facials

no massages,

no body wraps

and you break your

nails every day.

No, not the nails.

Yes.

That's why I'm here,

Ebony-- to help you.

What, do my nails?

No, to save your soul.

Is this about the royalties?

'Cause we settled that.

If I wrote 65 % of the song

I get 65 % of the...

No, Ebony. I mean...

I think I'm way past

worrying about money now.

Well, then, you must be dead,

'cause nobody's past

worrying

about money.

And what's

with the get-up?

I thought you quit

the whips and chains

when you broke up

with that guy

from Paramus.

These chains are to remind me of my mistakes.

How I threw

away my life.

I'll say you did--

what a waste.

We were getting so big.

But how did we

use our success?

You know, what did we do

to help our own?

In the true business of life,

we were flops.

Mmm, that makes no sense.

Girl, I have tried--

Lord knows

I have tried

so many times to

reach you from...

wherever it is I am

and tonight,

I finally did

and I am telling you that

you have got to start...

What gives you the right

to tell me what to do?

What gives me the right?

We were best friends.

You tell me what

happened to that.

You ruined it,

that's what happened.

You pushed us out

of the spotlight.

Oh, so it's my fault.

Excuse me, I'm talking.

One minute,

we're a trio-- the next, Terry and I

are your backup singers,

and that hurts.

Oh, so it's my fault

you got into drugs?

Please.

You can't blame me for...

And you stood by.

You should have been looking out

for me.

How?

I tried,

but you wouldn't listen.

The more I told you to quit,

the more you did.

Because you were always...

I loved you

but there was

a business to run.

It's not my fault.

Well, where were you

Christmas Eve, 1990?

Where was I?

I was getting the news

that you got messed up

and wrapped your Porsche

around a tree.

Yeah, and I took

two innocent lives with me.

And what

did you do?

I cried my eyes out.

I've never gotten over that.

The very night I died,

you abandoned Terry

and started planning

your own solo act.

No, that's not true.

And I had to

watch all of it.

My hell is watching

you screw up your life.

Remember that showcase at Tramps

that Bob put together?

Yeah, that night

was make-or-break.

We did a good show,

we get signed

we choke, we be

history-- remember?

Yeah, we... we kicked butt.

Well, tonight is like that.

You're going

to be visited

by three spirits--

at 1:00, 2:00...

Ooh... tonight's no good.

Well, tough.

I have to get some sleep.

I have A.M. America at 7:00...

They're spirits; they don't

care about no talk show.

Oh, Marli

no one cares about talk shows.

Look at my calendar. I...

Damn.

That Pharmalain's

some powerful sh...

I got to get a new prescription.

Oh, yuck.

Room service.

I thought you were sending

a new order up right away.

It will be there

any moment.

Yeah, but I ordered it over...

Oh. Okay, you're there.

Good evening.

I better eat something

soon-- I am trippin'.

Yeah, I'm kind of

a klutz myself.

Hey, look what time

it is.

Did you see what...?

Let me guess.

You're the first spirit?

Was it the dress?

I hope you know you're

not getting a tip.

It's okay, I'm a spirit.

Our currency

is magic and creepiness.

Who are you, anyway?

Who am I?

Exactly.

Who are any of us--

I mean, really?

But, I digress.

Hi.

Ghost of Christmas Past.

What, like "chestnuts

roasting on an open fire"?

Uh, hope you're going

to be dressed warm.

It's going to be a

little cold where we go

okay, crazy lady?

I'm not going anywhere.

Already she's starting.

Gucci.

Not bad.

I got it free.

Last year, I had

to show Tom Ford

all his past

Christmases.

Well, now I got to change.

No time; we got to go.

Why are you really here?

To help you.

Well, you may

as well go, then

since the only help

I need

is a good

night's sleep.

No, no-- to save you, then.

But you're so... annoying.

And you're cranky.

Let's go, missy!

Whoa! What's happening?

Just another day

at the office for me.

My home town--

Paterson, New Jersey.

That explains

the smell.

Oh! No, it's a quaint

little town.

Well, take a good,

hard look.

In 20 years, this is all

going to be a strip mall.

There's Pat's.

Marli, Terry and I

used to hang out there

all the time.

Hey, Pat.

Pat!

I guess

he can't hear me.

See that basketball court?

My brother Ronnie and I used to play there every afternoon...

until...

Oh, there's Old

Man Miller's place.

And Mancone's Pizza.

Oh-- Roosevelt High.

I remember everything.

Really?

You'd never know.

Huh?

Oh, see this place?

The acoustics in the girls'

bathroom were perfect.

We used to sneak

in on league nights

and work out

our harmonies.

Right there.

Mrs. Healy?!

Mrs. Healy!

Why can't anybody

hear me?

Because these aren't

real people.

It's like... Los Angeles.

Oh.

Merry Christmas,

everybody!

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Happy holidays!

Oh, there's Andy the

Fish, Scooter, Jackie...

Marli!

There's Marli!

And where's

little Ebony

during all

this excitement?

Oh, there you are.

Let's go inside.

Ah, no,

I don't want to.

Suit yourself.

? Do, re, mi, fa ?

? Sol, la, ti, do ?

? Do, ti, la, sol ?

? Fa, mi, re, do. ?

It's Christmas Eve,

and you're here practicing scales?

You must really love it.

Oh, yeah.

You should be

home on Christmas.

Home?

Song title.

Four words.

First word.

Down?

Floor? Feet?

House? Home?

Here.

"Here Comes Santa Claus"!

What did I tell you?

Keep it the hell

down out here!

Now, what the hell

are you crying about?

Leave her alone.

Who do you

think you...?

Girl, look, when I

tell you to shut up

I want you to shut up!

Git off me! Git!

Give me this thing here.

For the last time--

there's no Christmas

in this house.

There's nothing

to celebrate.

You see

any presents?

You see your mother anywhere?

You're lucky

you got a damn roof

over your head!

Now, you stop your crying,

or I'm going to give you

something

to cry about.

You hear me?

Children's Welfare.

May I help you?

No!

Ronnie! Ronnie!

No!

Ronnie! I don't want to go!

Please!

I'll be good.

No!

Don't make me go.

No!

Please!

Get in.

Please!

Ronnie!

Let's see

another Christmas.

Ebony.

Ronnie?

Ronnie!

Oh, God

I can't believe it.

What are you doing here?

I've come to take you home.

Home?

I can't go back there.

Eb-Ebony

I've been keeping

in touch with Dad.

He's been really good.

He stopped drinking.

If you just came home with us,

everything...

I can't forgive him.

How am I supposed

to ever trust him

again?

Of course, my dad

started drinking again

so Ronnie took off.

Got married straight out of high school,

had Olivia.

And then, just like

that, he was gone.

An aneurysm, can

you believe it?

First, you lost

Ronnie, then Marli.

His daughter really is

the only family you have.

You must spend a lot

of time with her.

I just saw her last night.

Uh-huh. Let's go--

another Christmas.

Hey, isn't there any other night

you can show me?

There was a New Year's in '95

that was really...

Oh, right, and that

Arbor Day in '96.

Whoo! They're

still talking.

Sorry, I just

do Christmas.

Problem is, you're

a little thin

on Christmases

worth remembering.

And that's my fault?

Well...

There's one.

What?

Nice. Takes attention

away from your face.

Was that a

backhanded insult?

And now,

Club 52 and WRKZ present

the number-one new R&B act

Come on, y'all.

In the nation.

One for all...

And all for one.

Ladies and gentlemen,

put your hands together

for Desire!

What is she doing?

? Oh ?

Whoo!

? Heartquake ?

? You can't be serious ?

? Must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious? ?

? Do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know

that it's a heartquake ?

? Love was a stranger ?

? Never at my door ?

? With love came a danger ?

? I never felt before,

I was stopped ?

? Stopped ?

? In my tracks ?

? Too late ?

? There's no turning back ?

? You've got imagination ?

? Let's put it to the test ?

? Tell me what I'm thinking... ?

Not bad.

"Not bad"?!

Well, the harmonies are

a little predictable

and the dancing's a little,

you know, dated.

What are you,

a critic?

No, no,

not professionally

but, where I hang out,

Billie Holliday duets

with Otis Redding

and last night, Marvin

Gaye and Tammi Terrell...

Nothing worse

than a cocky spirit.

? ...My heart begins to pound,

and then ?

? My heart stops ?

? Stops ?

? I can't breathe ?

? The room's too hot... ?

So, how come you do

mostly ballads now?

Mmm... it's what

the record company wants.

? ...Am I delirious ?

? Or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know

that it's a heartquake ?

? Where am I? ?

? What's it mean? ?

? It's out of control ?

? In my heart ?

? I like it ?

? So deep in my soul ?

? You can't be serious ?

? Must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious ?

? Or do I feel

a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical... ?

He's cute.

Who, Bob?

It seems like

such a long time ago.

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know

that it's a heartquake. ?

Thank you.

Whoo!

Hi, everybody,

I'm Marli.

I'm Ebony.

I'm Terry.

And we are...

Desire!

Merry Christmas,

New York.

How are y'all doing?

1988 has been such an

amazing year for us

and we have all of you to thank.

Thank you so much.

And next week, we start

our first world tour

and we may be gone

for a long time

but no matter what happens to us

we will always remember

our first fans. Whoo!

Yeah.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

How you doing?

We're Desire,

and we got a song for you!

? Just hear those Sleigh Bells

ring-a-ling ?

? Ring, ting, ting-a-ling, too ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride

together with you ?

? Outside the snow is falling ?

? And friends

are calling "Yoo-hoo!" ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride

together with you ?

? Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap,

let's go ? ? Let's go ?

? Let's look at the snow ?

? Look at the snow ?

? We're riding in a wonderland of snow ? ? Wonderland ?

? Giddyap, giddyap,

giddyap, it's grand ?

? Just holding your hand ?

? We're gliding along

with the song ?

? Of a wintry fairy land--

Whoo! ?

Wow, you guys rock

the Christmas house.

? Can you feel it? ?

I forgot how perfect

that night was.

? Say what? ?

? Uh-huh, uh-huh, say what? ?

Well,

we got to go.

We're running

out of time.

Can't we stay

a little longer?

Hmm, let me consider

that for a minute.

Uh, um, no!

? Our cheeks are nice and rosy,

and comfy cozy... ?

Where are we going next?

I don't know yet.

Well, will you

make up your mind?

I mean, what if

you drop me?

That would suck for you.

It's a long way down.

Well, that's my point.

Let's find out.

Ah, relax.

I had you the whole time.

I-I...

I...

Don't worry.

I can't kill you... yet.

I'm not done with you.

Oh, that's comforting.

I don't understand.

We will see each other

every day.

So much is

happening, Bob.

We're both

going through

all kinds of changes.

I'm not.

I'm not changing at all.

I'm still exactly the same guy

and I feel exactly the same way

about you.

What about in a month,

when I'm busy all the time

and I'm being pulled in a

million different directions?

I'm not going to have

time for you and...

And nothing!

I love you.

I will understand.

I'll see you at night.

I will see you

on your days off.

I can wait.

E, you don't

have to do this.

And there'll be girls

throwing themselves at you.

How do I know I can trust you?

Me?!

Wh... you can't trust me,

or you can't trust yourself?

Same difference.

Things happen, you know.

"Out of sight,

out of mind"?

Don't throw cliches at me.

Just give me

a little space, okay?

There's another one.

Look, Bob, I am grateful

for everything

you've done for me.

I mean, I wouldn't even have

a record deal

if it wasn't for you.

This is not about a record deal!

It's not like I'm firing you

or anything.

I want you

on the road.

Fire me?!

I am your boyfriend

every bit as much

as I am...

How's this?

When the tour's over

we'll see how things are...

how we feel, okay?

He was just

the tour manager.

He wasn't good

enough for you.

Well, that's not it.

No, you were going

to be rich and famous.

You could find

someone better.

I never said that.

Or maybe you were just

afraid to lose him

like all the others.

I love you

for who you really are.

I knew you

when you were nobody.

What makes you think

you can find a love like that

again so easily?

I'm not looking for love.

I'm looking for success.

You coming?

Merry Christmas.

Oh, Bob...

Take me home.

I can't stand this.

Just one more.

? Deck the halls

with boughs of holly ?

? Fa-la-la-la-la,

la-la-la-la ?

? 'Tis the season

to be jolly ?

? Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la...

Just a sec.

Just a sec!

? ...our gay apparel ?

? Fa-la-la, la-la-la,

la-la-la ?

? Troll the ancient Yuletide carol ? Oh...

? Fa-la-la-la-la,

la-la-la-la. ?

Here you go, Terri-- your

special Christmas dinner.

There's no way

that's Terri.

Where are we

supposed to be?

When?

This is just a year ago.

Last stop on the tour.

Thank you, Mary.

That's really kind of you.

Terri, any

chance you could

come down to the shelter

and sing for everybody

this year?

I wish I could, honey

but my voice

ain't what it used to be.

It would mean

an awful lot

to the folks.

You're our most famous client.

Oh, God!

Well, listen,

I-I'll see what I can do.

I can't promise anything.

Thanks, Terri,

and Merry Christmas.

And you, too, sweetheart.

I had no idea.

How'd she end

up like this?

This isn't

Where Are They Now?

Okay, that's on later.

When was the last time

you checked up on her?

Did you ever give

her any money?

No.

She had her share.

It's not my fault

she blew it.

As far as I know,

she never worked again.

She tried.

She tried to start

a new Desire.

Well, I couldn't

let that happen.

Course not.

Your lawyers crushed her.

That's how she ended up

like this.

Oh, this place is

giving me the creeps.

Why won't you

accept responsibility?

Just get me out of here.

Don't blame me!

I'm just showing you

what's been.

I don't make this stuff up.

Well, I don't care.

Stop haunting me.

Stop being so hauntable!

Oh, you skinny bitch!

Did you say skinny?

Oh, never again.

What the hell...?

Outrageous.

If there's anybody in there,

you better open up.

You are messing

with the wrong bitch, now.

I'm going to call security

by the count of three!

One... two...

All right.

You better watch out.

I'm coming in.

Come on, come on.

Don't do this to me.

Just one more shot.

Who the hell are you?

Oh, hello.

Fancy a drink?

Mmm... guess not.

I said

who the hell are you?

Keep your shirt on.

I heard you.

You don't...

you don't recognize me, then?

No. What are you doing

in my room?

Having a party, baby.

What does it look like

I'm doing?

Who are you?

I'm the Spirit of

Christmas... Present.

Christmas presents?

No, not Christmas presents.

Christmas Present.

Everyone always gets that wrong.

Look, you can just call me...

...Steve.

Steve.

Just Steve.

The belch is silent.

And how did you

get in my room, Steve?

Holiday magic.

Well, how'd you get past T-Bone?

Oh, him.

He's sleeping

like a baby.

Really cute, too.

Look, uh...

Charming as it is

to hang around here

talking to you all night,

we got to hit the road.

So, uh, grab hold.

I will not.

We've not got all night.

There's a lot of stops

and not much time, so grab hold.

Well, stop saying that.

Am I going to have

to get nasty with you?

Oh, you mean, you get nastier?

I do.

Ooh, you've got nice soft skin,

haven't you?

Hang on!

? Noel, noel ?

? Noel, noel... ?

What a dump!

This is where your

people are staying.

Sweet, huh?

It was nicer

in the brochure.

Mm-hmm.

Well, look, it's

not that bad.

Look. They have their

own refrigerator.

Oh.

Well, still...

Why don't you put them

in a nicer place?

You have no idea

how much it costs

to keep a crew this size

on the road.

How much do you need?

When are you going to spread

a little around?

Ask my business manager.

No, I'm asking you.

It's Christmas Eve.

Look at this place.

Did somebody say, "Eggnog"?

Oh, no!

"This is the best

Christmas ever.

God bless us, every one."

Oh, shush.

Anybody for Chinese?

To our not so

benevolent...

dictator.

Ebony the Frozen-Hearted!

Hear! Hear!

Off with her head.

Hey, you, you're fired

Miss Thang!

Oh, have a

sense of humor.

They want to like you,

you know.

You don't give them

a chance.

It's Christmas Eve!

Hello?

Hey, it's me.

Me?

Me.

I'm sorry,

I don't know any "me."

Unless you're referring

to that husband guy

that I used to see.

All right, so it's not

our best Christmas.

Oh, no, it's great.

Santa's, uh, just left

and-and Rudolph's sitting

by the fire...

Come on, Kel,

it's just one night.

And how many do we have left?

What do you mean?

I mean Tim.

He's... well, the doctors

still don't know what it is.

He's tired.

He's not eating.

He's losing more weight.

He's weak.

He's sleeping all the time.

And when he does wake up,

he asks for you

and you're not here.

And I don't know what to do

because every time

I look at him, he looks worse.

Oh, I wish to God I was there.

Then get on the damn plane,

and come here.

I just got

to get Ebony

through the concert tomorrow,

and then...

Oh, to hell with Ebony.

You have a family!

How dare she...?

We would have nothing

if it weren't for Ebony.

And how do we cover

the medical bills if I quit?

I don't know, but...

You know I've had a good job

with her for 13 years.

She's been very generous.

Generous?

Ha!

Listen to me, Bob.

Your son is sick,

and your marriage

isn't looking

too healthy, either.

Now, may I suggest

that you get your ass home?

Right after the concert tomorrow

I will get on a plane...

I just hope it's not

too late.

Dad?

Ye-- sweetheart, hey!

Is that you?

How are you?

I'm fine, Dad.

Don't fight with Mom.

She's just worried.

So am I.

I'll be okay.

I'm just tired.

Well, then,

do me a favor, kiddo

and get a little rest, huh?

And I will see you soon.

I love you, Daddy.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, Tim.

I had no idea

Tim was so sick.

You had no idea

his name was Tim.

Will he live?

Not my department.

I'm Christmas Present.

Sure don't look good,

though, does it?

Oh, God.

What do you care?

Might be better off, right?

Can I go home now?

Hell, no.

Pardon the expression.

Let's see how everyone else

spends their Christmas Eve.

Ooh! Park Avenue...

Nice.

Yeah, this is how

your accountant spends

his Christmas Eve.

Hmm. I must pay

him too much.

Uh... Not exactly.

How about another toast

to my boss

my benefactress Ebony?

If she had any idea

how much she really pays me

she would choke and die.

Which wouldn't be

such a bad thing

considering

I've carved myself

a nice little piece

of her estate.

You're a bastard!

I'm a genius.

Oh, and so handsome, too.

Oh, I'm so glad you agree.

Yuck, what a creep.

Imagine, stealing from someone

who trusts you.

What a heartless

so-and-so.

Come on.

But, you see,

Christmas does suck.

Nothing but sickness and death

and dishonesty and...

At least you

got your fans.

Those losers.

Those losers bought

all 2,500 tickets

to your overpriced concert

in 11 minutes flat.

Where do you think

you'd be without them?

Oh, pick it up,

will you?

Hi, Bob.

How are you?

Merry Christmas, Bob.

Merry Christmas

to you, Mary.

Hi, how are you?

Merry Christmas.

Even these people have Christmas spirit.

They have nothing.

Not even a place to sleep,

but they know Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

On the bright side,

these are the folks

who will be benefiting

from your concert.

Don't forget to come

to the show tonight.

That's right.

How much will

they end up with?

Maybe enough for

a new blanket.

You must be so proud.

Hey!

How you doing?

You're invited, right?

What did she say next?

She said, "Come over for

your frozen turkey dinner

"supermarket pie

and box wine?

I don't think so."

That woman thinks

she's all that.

She's got no idea

what she's missing.

Well, if she'd rather have room service.

Honey, why do

you even bother?

For real, 'cause it's

a well-known fact

that your Aunt Ebony

is a full-on

master-class, diva bitch.

Hear. Hear.

You know,

I never liked him, anyway.

No, no.

She's... she's all right.

What?

You don't know.

She's had a tough life.

It makes you hard.

What are you talking about?

She has everything.

You know what?

She doesn't have this.

She doesn't have Christmas.

With everything

she's got, I pity her.

I would never want to be

in her shoes, live her life.

Never.

Here's to my Aunt Ebony.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no--

She may be mean

she maybe bitter

but I will keep inviting her

to Christmas

every year until she comes to join us for a meal

'cause she's family.

My father loved her,

and I love her, too.

You're an angel, baby.

Come on.

Now, how about

a good, old-fashioned

game of charades?

Come on.

You all know how to play.

Okay, Matt,

you're on.

I think we better get going.

Oh, please!

They're playing charades.

Just a few more minutes.

Okay, one round.

It's a song title.

Two words.

First word.

Chest.

"Best of My Love."

Pound.

Hit? Beat!

Come on!

Heart.

Uh...

Heart.

Heart?

The heartbeat!

"Heartbreak Hotel."

What? That's two words.

Second word.

"Heartquake!"

Klutz?

Uh, drunk.

Somebody-- "Heartquake."

Earthquake.

Oh, "Heartquake!"

Finally.

We really got to go.

I thought

you were the party animal.

Yeah, well,

your partying's over for one night.

Whoo! I'm finally

getting used to this.

Keep an eye out for

two things, Ebony:

ignorance and greed.

Both killers.

Sneak up on you when

you're not looking.

Ignorance, greed.

Got it.

Can I get you

a drink or, uh...?

Oh.

Bye.

Spirit Number Three,

right on time.

I'm ready for you.

Oh, it's you.

Yeah, look, I'm sorry

it's so late

but I didn't want to leave

without saying good-bye.

Leave? Where are you going?

I've got to get home.

Tim is sick, and Kelly...

Well, I need you.

You can leave

after the concert.

You don't understand.

Yes, I do.

No.

No. Look, I got to try

and catch the first plane.

Hey, Bob, you're

not a doctor.

There's nothing

you can do for Tim.

I don't see the point

in you rushing off to....

He is my son,

and I've got to see him.

Now, if you can't

understand that, Ebony...

I don't care.

You want to call it

a personal day, great

you want to call it quitting,

that's fine, too

but either way...

good-bye.

Hey, you can't walk

away from me!

After all I've do...

Oh!

With all that fame and success...

Come on, buddy.

The roads you crashed...

The nightmares, the headaches.

Do you have any regrets?

It's about time

they started to air this thing.

She burst onto the music scene as part of a pop R&B trio.

Did the interview

about six months ago.

Tragedy launched her

on a solo career

that made her a household name.

Charges of cruelty

and miserliness were made

but never stuck and she became

one of the biggest-selling

female artists in history.

Ebony: Behind the Music.

I'm not out to impress.

I'm out there doing my thing

and if people dig it,

that's great.

Just watching my show.

Coming up on Behind the Music

the remarkable life

and tragic death

of a diva.

What?!

Legions of fans

all over the world

bought her records

and attended

her legendary live performances.

Even those who knew her best

were in awe of her talent.

Ebony was a great artist.

One of the most important

in the history of my label.

Oh, Ebony always knew

that she wanted

to be successful

above and beyond anyone else

or anything else in her life.

She was a great singer...

Great.

And she'll continue

to be important.

I mean between "best of" albums

dance re-mixes,

the unreleased songs

there's going to be

Ebony music for years.

So many were saddened to hear of Ebony's death

from fans to stars, including

one of the top artists

in the music business.

I'll never forget how

it all went down.

I heard that Ebony was recording

a song of mine

and I was thrilled.

Her albums always

shipped gold, minimum.

And then I heard that she died.

I was crushed.

What he didn't know was that

Ebony had recorded a demo

of the song just the day before.

We rush-released it

as a memorial single.

And it went through the roof.

It was great.

And the workers are just about

finished with the new pool.

Thanks, Ebony.

I'll never forget you.

You bastard!

Of course, it's always tragic

when an artist dies so young,

but ultimately

I have to say it's the best

thing that could have happened.

Better now than later,

that's for sure.

You know, she's worth ten times

as much dead as she is alive.

Ten times?!

Make that 20.

I'll have your head for this.

Ebony's fierce temper was well-known.

Who let this guy...?

Get the... get your camera

out of here.

There was an incident

that I remember.

She pissed a director off

so much

that he actually

smashed six television sets.

One time, she fired

her personal staff

for making eye contact with her

and not backing out of the room.

Remember the time Ebony

stole Mariah Carey's dress

at a TV taping?

That poor girl.

Had to go out

in her underwear.

That's not true...

exactly.

Luckily, nobody noticed.

I heard she once fired her cook

for eating some of her food.

Her cook.

He stole a rib roast.

I think it's great

that she'll be remembered

but thank God we don't

have to deal with her.

I mean, great singer...

Nice butt.

...but such a bitch.

She smelled really bad.

Oh, you're all fired.

That's why I quit.

You know, some people say

she even took out Marli Jacob.

I never believed that rumor.

Cut the brake line.

Anyway, that's, uh,

just what I heard.

That is terrible.

But the fans never abandoned her.

When a cache

of Ebony's personal possessions

hit the collectors' market

price seemed to be no limit.

We were lucky to come across

Ebony's personal diary.

Very juicy stuff.

Oh, what a nightmare!

I mean, we're talking

deepest fears

emotional insecurities,

the real inside dirt.

Quite a find.

Of course, the book

will be published this fall.

An advance copy

of the book was leaked

by one her closest friends

and confidants.

Oh, no.

Don't read from my diary.

"July 14th:

"I've really got to break it off

with Anne Heche.

"What's fun at a party

isn't a relationship..."

This is insane.

I'm not dead. I'm right here.

Ebony:

millions of records, millions of fans...

...a treasury of songs

we'll never forget.

But what about those

who knew her best?

Hey, let me out of here!

Will I miss Ebony?

I'll miss the gig,

I'll tell you that much.

Well, I really

can't comment on Ebony.

My lawyers have advised

against it.

I miss Ebony.

She was an enormous part

of my life.

No! This can't be!

I don't know that I can ever forgive her, though, um...

We were out on tour, and she

never really gave us time off

and because of that...

I was away the day that, uh,

my son Tim...

...died.

I'm sorry, can we, uh...

can we stop this?

But all this hasn't happened.

This whole show...

Oh, God, of course.

They're not really

talking about me.

There's some kind of mix-up.

I'll just call them

in the morning

and straighten things out

as soon as I'm done

with A.M. America

and the photo shoot.

It's a simple mistake,

obviously.

They... They're probably really

talking about Celine Dion.

It is Celine Dion!

Rest in peace, Ebony,

rest in peace.

No!

Not Bette Midler!

This isn't true!

None of this has happened!

I can stop it from happening!

This doesn't make sense!

Why show me if I can't

do anything about it?

I've learned my lesson!

I have! I'll change!

Just give me a chance!

I swear it!

I'll keep Christmas!

I will!

I'll keep it all year long!

Every freaking day

will be Christmas!

I love Christmas!

Really!

Please, I can change!

No, I will! I'll listen!

I'll...!

What the...?

What day is it?

You there, boy... hello!

Yes, you, you.

Who the Dickens

you calling "boy"?

I'm sorry

I don't have

my contacts in yet.

What day is it?

Hey, aren't you

Ebony the singer?

Yes, yes, yes, but I need to...

You look much thinner on TV.

Please, what day is it?

Hey, it's Ebony.

I'll be damned.

Wait till

I tell my wife.

It's Christmas all day.

Was A.M. America on yet?

Oh, let me look at the wide

screen TV in the back.

Damn, girl, I don't know.

It's 6:15 in the morning.

Great.

I've got time.

Whatever.

Excellent.

Okay, okay.

Hello?

Kelly, it's Ebony.

I'm so sorry

to wake you up this early

in the morning,

but it's important.

What's wrong?

Nothing, just, uh

I need you to do

some things for me, okay?

You have a pen?

Now calling rows 27 through 36

for Eastern-Atlantic Flight 801

to Cleveland.

If you are sitting in rows...

57th and Tenth.

Come on, come on, come on.

Answer the phone.

Oh, Bob, please.

What?

Bob?

Please do not

get on that plane.

We've been through this.

I know, I know... I know

exactly why you want

to go but I'm asking you

to trust me just one more time.

Please stay.

I can't.

I've got everything

under control.

I swear, just wait there

and I'll explain everything,

but don't leave.

Ebony, if you're trying....

Bob, believe me...

I know you have absolutely

no reason to trust me

but I promise...

I won't let you down

if you do.

Please?

And Bob?

Yeah.

Merry Christmas.

Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas.

...four, three, two...

This is A.M. America.

20 minutes past the hour,

and we are back with Ebony.

And I just want

to wish everyone

a Merry, Merry Christmas.

Well, thank you.

Now listen, this CD

Dreaming of

an Ebony Christmas.

It is one of the biggest

holiday albums this year.

And I'm so grateful

to all of my fans.

Well, it is also...

the first CD with the new

$25 retail price.

Oh, yeah, I'm-I'm

very sorry about that

uh, but starting tomorrow

I-I'm sending

thousands of copies

to children's hospitals

all over the country

a-and I will buy

stereos for those

that don't have any,

and when I'm on the road

I'm visiting sick children

in every city we play.

That's great.

Well, what else can I do?

I beg your pardon?

Well, I'm just really

open to ideas right now.

It sounds like you're

already going to be pretty busy.

Oh, Heather, it's so important

that I give back something now

while I have the chance.

Words we can all live by.

Thank you.

When we come back,

Ebony is going

to sing for us...

You know

I'm really serious

about that ideas thing.

Merry Christmas.

This is the final call

for Eastern-Atlantic Flight 1600

to Cleveland.

All passengers should be

boarding at this time.

Once again,

Eastern-Atlantic Airlines

announces final call

for Flight 1600 to Cleveland.

All ticketed passengers...

How many tickets you got for the Ebony concert tonight?

You know that show's

sold out.

Well, how many you got?

They ain't cheap.

You do have tickets

for tonight, don't you?

Hey, anybody ever tell you,

you look just like...

Maybe I should try the place

across the street.

I got 12. $3,000 each.

I'm going need

a lot more than 12.

Well, I could call

my brother's place.

Go ahead.

You realize this is going

to cost you like, uh...

Do you take

American Express?

Yeah.

Call your brother.

It's turkey dinner for 100.

Well, yes, tonight.

But Wolfgang, sweetheart

you're the best chef

in the world.

Well, if I can't

trust you to do it

who can I turn to?

I need you, darling.

Ladies and gentlemen

Flight 1017 to Cleveland

has been canceled

due to equipment trouble.

Some passengers

might be rebooked

onto the next available flight

sometime later this afternoon.

To the rest of you,

Merry Christmas.

Okay, guys

invite whomever you want.

If you need a lift

or a plane ticket

just tell Ernie;

he'll take care of it.

Right, Ernie?

Do you have any idea

what this is going cost?

Right, Ernie?

Yes, just ask me.

Right.

Aunt Ebony.

Is the invitation still open?

If not

I can...

No, of course. Come in.

Everybody, this...

is my favorite aunt.

Your only aunt.

Come to spend Christmas with us.

Well, I can't stay.

I have a concert tonight.

Hold on.

What's going on here?

Well, I wanted to see you

and give you these presents.

What's wrong?

What do you need?

I don't need...

Well, that's not true.

I do need something.

I need you to accept

my apology

to accept me

into your heart.

I've been so blind for so long

and... I'm just so sorry.

Baby, you going

to tell her?

What?

I'm pregnant.

You're going to be

a great aunt.

I am! Oh!

Oh, I am going to be

a great aunt, you'll see.

So, you sure

you won't stay?

Well, maybe for one game

of charades.

Okay.

Here.

Great.

Bob?

Oh, thank God I caught you.

What is going

on here?

Bob Cratchett... I need

to tell you something.

I...

I... I... just, uh...

I love you so much

and you're the best friend

I've ever had.

And there is nobody...

and nothing more important

in the world to me than you.

Now...

Oh, my God.

Oh...

I missed you so much.

My little godson.

Wait a minute,

what's wrong?

From now on,

I'm taking personal responsibility for you.

Ebony flew us in.

I-I don't understand.

I met with the top guys

at Children's Hospital

and showed him the information Kelly faxed me.

They're going to take

great care of him.

They're the best.

You're going to be

just fine, aren't you

little buddy?

I sure am.

That's right.

And listen, you...

you're on vacation

as of right now.

Take all the time you need.

The most important thing is that you and Kelly help Tim get better.

These are for you.

Hotel, theater tickets,

everything.

You can't sit in the hospital for 24 hours a day.

You might as well

enjoy New York.

I don't know what to say.

Please, it's the

least I can do.

E, I mean, how do I...?

Bob.

Thanks for everything.

I mean everything.

Merry Christmas.

Merry, Merry Christmas.

This is really

some kind of spread.

More stuffing?

Please, no. I'm stuffed.

And I still have to fit

into that little gold dress.

I'll have more stuffing.

How about some champagne?

How about

after the show?

Don't you just love Christmas?

15 minutes, everybody,

15 minutes.

I got to get

into my little dress.

Thanks.

Who was that woman?

Ladies and gentlemen

please welcome

the one and only Ebony!

Hello, New York!

Merry Christmas.

Thanks to all of you

and your tremendous generosity

this concert tonight has raised

over $1 million for charity.

And every single penny

of that money

is going to charity!

By the way, Ernie...

you are so fired.

W-What's going...?

E-Ebon...? Wh... Wh...?

Honey, help me.

Merry Christmas, Ernie.

Wha...?

No. I want my lawyer!

Anyway, with one thing

and another, this and that

the whole spirit

of Christmas thing

kind of got away from me

for awhile

and then I had a really

bad night's sleep last night

but you know what?

Sometimes all it takes

is a bad night's sleep

to make your head straight.

Everything seems so clear

in the morning.

So let's hear it for Christmas.

All right.

Hit it!

To my band.

You guys are the best

in the whole wide world.

? As the season

wraps around us ?

? Like gifts around the tree ?

? I can't help but remember ?

? What Christmas used to be ?

? As the child

inside me wanders ?

? To a time I can't forget ?

? Time I can't forget ?

? Where candy canes and magic ?

? Filled the days

that we shared ?

? And the truth

of those moments ?

? Still shines like a star ?

? For the joy

that lives inside them ?

? Is where the season starts ?

? Where the season starts ?

? Because the heart

of Christmas ?

? Lies beyond

what we can see ?

? It's the love

that embraced us ?

? Like arms around our need ?

? Yes, that heart

of Christmas ?

? Is so easy to find ?

? When goodwill takes over ?

? Goodwill takes over ?

? The heart of mankind ?

? The heart of Christmas ?

? Is so easy to find ?

? When goodwill takes over ?

? Goodwill takes over ?

? The heart of mankind ?

? Yeah, yeah ?

? Heart of mankind ?

? Ooh! ?

? Yeah, yeah, yeah. ?

Thank you.

Now, let's go back to 1988.

Let's see if y'all

remember this song.

Put your hands together.

? Just hear

those sleigh bells jingling ?

? Ring-ting-tingling, too ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride

together with you ?

? Outside the snow is falling ?

? And friends

are calling "Yoo-hoo" ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride

together with you ?

? Giddyap, giddyap,

giddyap, let's go ?

? Let's go ?

? Let's look at the snow ?

? Look at the snow ?

? We're riding

in a wonderland of snow ?

? Wonderland ?

? Giddyap, giddyap,

giddyap, it's grand ?

? Just holding your hand ?

? We're gliding along

with the song ?

? Of a wintry fairyland... ?

Y'all want to see an old friend?

'Cause when you sing old songs

it's good to have

old friends around.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Miss Terry Freeman!

? Our cheeks are nice and rosy,

and comfy cozy are we ?

? We're snuggled up together ?

? Like two birds

of a feather would be ?

? Let's take the road before us

and sing a chorus or two ?

? Come on,

it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride

together with you ?

? Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap,

let's go ? ? Let's go ?

? Let's look at the snow ?

? Look at the snow ?

? We're riding in a wonderland of snow ? ? Wonderland ?

? Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap,

it's grand ? ? Oh ?

? Just holding your hand ?

? We're gliding along

with the song ?

? Of a wintry fairyland... ?

Whoo!

? Just hear

those sleigh bells jingling ?

? Ring-ting-tingling, too ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride

together with you ?

? Outside the snow is falling ?

? And friends

are calling "Yoo-hoo" ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride

together with you ?

? It's lovely weather for a

sleigh ride together with you ?

? Lovely weather

for a sleigh ride together ?

? Lovely weather

for a sleigh ride together ?

? Ooh! ?

? With you! ?

Mmm...

There you go.

Thank you.

You guys are going

to love this one.

Mm-hmm.

And you, too.

She's ready for hers.

Thank you.

All right.

And you look so good.

Hey!

Look who it is.

It's Tim. Big Tim!

Ooh, hey!

Big Tim!

Come here.

Oh, who's that, huh?

Yes!

Be careful.

I may be a sweetheart now

but nobody pees on the diva.

Captioning sponsored by

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

? Oh... ?

Whoo!

Heartquake!

? You can't be serious ?

? There must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious ?

? Or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know that

it's a heartquake ?

? Love was a stranger ?

? Never at my door ?

? With love came a danger ?

? I never felt before ?

? I was stopped ?

? In my tracks ?

? Too late ?

? There's no turning back ?

? I got the picture ?

? And I got the sound ?

? Every time you're near me ?

? My heart begins to pound ?

? And then I start to shake ?

? Please stop ?

? How much can I take? ?

? You can't be serious ?

? There must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious ?

? Or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know

that it's a heartquake ?

? You've got imagination ?

? Let's put it to the test ?

? Tell me what I'm thinking ?

? See if you can guess ?

? I want you now... ?

A Diva's Christmas Carol (2000) - full transcript