A Dandy in Aspic (1968) - full transcript

Double-agent Alexander Eberlin is assigned by the British to hunt out a Russian spy, known to them as Krasnevin. Only Eberlin knows that Krasnevin is none other than himself! Accompanying him on his mission is a ruthless partner, who gradually discovers his secret as Eberlin tries to maneuver himself out of a desperate situation.

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Brogue speaking.

- Where are you now?
- At the church.

Have they buried him yet?

No, Mr Fraser.

Why all the secrecy?
Who are we burying?

Nightingale.

Oh dear. I've still got
one of his library books.

Did you ever
meet Nightingale, Eberlin?

Once.

He was House Captain at my school.
Everybody hated him.

Good evening, Mr Eberlin.



Don't look now, Simon, darling.
Here comes that dreadful snob, Eberlin.

Alexander! Lovely to see you.

Unfortunately, I cannot say
the same for you, madam.

Well! Now you can understand
why he hasn't got any friends.

- I mean, what sort of person is it...
- Is he married?

Was, Caroline, darling, was.

Some tiresome girl
he met in Oxford, I hear.

She left him, of course.

I mean he's absolutely sexless.
Absolutely sexless, dear.

The usual.

I beg your pardon.

We haven't been introduced,
but I'm Harriet's daughter, Caroline.

Well, we all have
our little cross to bear.

I'm sorry to hear it.
Don't let it get you down.



Do you mind?

I'm sure my mother wouldn't,
so why should I?

Oh, I say, Eberlin!

Where would you like to go?

Drop me in Berkeley Square.

- Here we are.
- Drive on.

- Where to?
- Shall we go for a nightcap?

- Eberlin!
- Okay. Where?

Your place.

Oh, Mum thinks I'm mad
being a photographer.

She wanted me to be a deb
and do all that stuff.

I just can't.
I'd almost rather be a model.

That's a cousin of mine,

taken on one of the rare moments
when she wasn't pregnant.

Come and have a look.

Some of my stuff.

Ah! That's a writer friend of mine.

Super face, huh?

- Shall I tell you what I'd really like to do?
- Yes?

I'd really like to have
about forty super babies

by forty of the most fabulous men
in the world.

And what are you going to do
in your spare time?

Well, you must admit it's a nice idea.

Why, I think it's
an absolutely wonderful idea.

Much better than modelling.

Anyway, I'm much too voluptuous
for that. Don't you think?

Oh, I wouldn't be too unsettled
about your reflection.

You know, I'm always amazed
that in this scientific age

nobody has yet perfected
the art of making the common mirror.

I haven't found one yet that has
interpreted my image correctly.

I think I could interpret
your image correctly.

If you'll let me.

You've a super face for a photograph.
May I?

No.

All right. Suit yourself.

I have one of you anyway, I think.

What did you say?

I said I have a photo of you anyway.

You wouldn't remember, but I saw you
when you were in North Africa last month.

You looked all sort of brown
and distinguished and terribly English.

I remember distinctly
because Mummy fancied you like mad.

What part of North Africa was it?

Erm, um... Tunis.

She's got this thing about old ruins.

- I think they remind her of her first husband.
- Ah, yes. Tunis.

Ah, here we are.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Caroline. I didn't know you had...
- It's all right.

- Is that the stuff we did yesterday?
- Yes.

Well, look, I'll leave them
in the darkroom, shall I?

- Right.
- Bye.

Bye-bye, Nevil.

That was Nevil.

He's my kind of part-time assistant
when he's in the mood.

He seemed rather embarrassed to me.

Well, he's not used to
seeing men on my bed.

Oh? And, um...
where do you normally put them?

Depends.

- What do you do, anyway?
- I'm an Egyptologist.

I collect noses from statues.

- No, really, what do you do? I'm curious.
- What do you think I do?

I don't know, really.
It's hard to tell with you.

I'd say you're definitely a Gemini.

You know, two people in one.

Everyone says you're a terrible snob.

And absolutely sexless.

Oh?

- Is that what they say?
- That's what they say.

Well, actually I have a very mundane
desk job in the Civil Service.

Oh, I can't believe that.

I bet it's all very
mysterious and underhand.

Night flights to Budapest.

Do you mind if I keep this?

- I have an uncontrollable vanity.
- No, you may have it.

Well, good night.

Thank you very much for the lift.
It really was a pleasure.

Good night.

It's the loo. No future in it.

None at all.

Did you drop something?

What are you following me about for?

Now don't blame me,
Eberlin, old darling.

- Fraser wants us both to see something.
- At this time of morning?

I've heard a lot about you.

Never had the pleasure
of meeting you properly before.

- Fraser thinks very highly of you.
- How touching.

I always thought you were wasted
tied down to the office.

It suits me all right
because I'm a lazy sort of a chap.

- No ties or anything, have you?
- Now, where exactly are we going?

I'm a married man myself.
I look it, don't I? Married.

I go to strip clubs on the sly.

I'm that kind of, er...

- You speak Russian, don't you?
- Yes, of course. Why?

Well?

Say something in, um...

No, that's silly.

I speak it too. Not too well.

French, yes, but Russian not too good,
I'm afraid. Here's the car.

Go on, Eberlin.

After you.

You were in North Africa recently,
weren't you? Tangier, wasn't it?

Tunis.

Oh yes. Tunis. Of course, I forgot.
I don't know why I said Tangier.

Nightingale, I suppose.
He was shot there, you know.

In a pool.

- Speak Arabic at all?
- No.

Oh.
Oh, well, who does nowadays?

It's all right.
I may not have to use it.

Anyone particularly in mind?

Well, as you're well aware,
the Russians have been trying for years

to infiltrate one or two men
into British Intelligence, mostly.

Fortunately for us,
with little success.

So, on this cold wet dawn, you're about
to witness one of their failures.

Exciting little life we lead,
don't you think?

That's him. Down there.

Eberlin! Eberlin!

We could have had him.
We could have had him alive.

Here. See if you can hold on to these.

Yes. Uh, yes. As soon as he gets here.

Yes. Uh, goodbye.

Oh, Mr Eberlin,
I thought you'd never get here.

Brogue has been ringing your office
every half-hour.

He's waiting for you in the basement.

Did I ever tell you
that you had very sexy eyes?

Oh, thank you.

I suppose you know Gatiss is back?

Who's that?

Oh, I thought you knew her.
That's Alice.

- In Wonderland?
- No, silly.

You know, Nightingale's widow.

Score ten, maximum.

What I have to say is private.

Oh, that's all right.
She's my private secretary.

- Come on. It's very easy.
- It must be, if you hit it.

Score three, minimum.

Oh, I see.

Now, that's how it's done.

By the way, Eberlin.
Gatiss sends you his love.

Oh, really?

Is it on my desk
with the rest of the rubbish?

You dress well, don't you, Eberlin?

If you've called me here to find out
the name of my tailor,

he's in the telephone book.

Did Nightingale's death surprise you?

I'm employed as a organiser,
not a guardian angel.

Missed.

I want you to attend a meeting
on Monday next at Selvers.

1100 hours. Will you be there?

- Do I have any choice?
- No.

I'll be there.

Oh, Eberlin,

before you go,

Gatiss was curious to see
how you would handle this.

We know you're a desk man, but then

you never know.

Nice balance.

A little bit of a bias, but, um...

nice balance.

The man is mad!

The man must be mad!

He wanted to kill you.

He wanted to kill you!
Didn't you see that?

Don't forget to turn out the lights
and lock the door when you leave.

And please don't
raise your voice to me again.

Did you see it?

He was waiting to meet me.

Even the wallets they give you
are still the same imitation leather.

They exhibit their damn phoney poverty
as if it were a virtue. Poor bastard.

Now you must realise
why I want to go back to Russia.

Why do you, Krasnevin?

Because I am Krasnevin

and not some Englishman called Eberlin.

It was all right
when I was just working for Rotopkin,

but now I'm working
for the British as well

and it's all getting out of hand.

But you knew that
when you left Moscow.

No-one had to put chains around you.

And you didn't go into it blindly.

No. They put blinkers on me.

I saw only what they wanted me to see.

But then I was...

What?

Dedicated.

I had enthusiasm.

Do you know what you're saying now?

Yes, of course I know what I'm saying.

Has the killing of Nightingale
something to do with this?

No.

But it's all snowballing in size,
and if it gets any bigger,

I don't think I can cope with it.

For everybody's sake,
I must go back to Moscow.

It's a war. It's a passive war,
but a war nevertheless.

And we all have to live
by the rules of the war.

Could you kill me, Krasnevin,
if you had to?

A year ago, yes.

Now, I don't know.

Well, I'll tell Rotopkin tomorrow
that you want to go back home.

But, I must say,
I don't think he will agree.

You're too valuable here.

Or not, as the case may be.

When will I hear?

Tomorrow morning at the church.

How long time have you been here
in England now?

Sixteen years?

- Eighteen.
- Eighteen. It's a long time.

Well, let met see, then you must be

- thirty-five, thirty-six years.
- Yes.

- You know, your hair's turning grey.
- Yes. The English climate affects me.

It affects me, too.

- Still the dandy.
- Yes.

But I'd give it all up
for an identity.

Just to belong somewhere.

All he wanted to do was go back home.

Don't we all?

Thank you, sir.

Ah!

Mr Eberlin!

We were expecting you.

I think we met at the funeral.
My name's Lake. How do you do?

Lovely place, isn't it?

Goes all the way back to Elizabeth I.

Apparently the old girl
slept here a couple of times.

But then, where didn't she?

Terribly restless woman.

Did you have a good journey?

I believe you haven't been
to Selvers before, have you?

They say it's going to rain,
but I never believe them, do you?

The motto above the door
is interesting.

It says, "I am shut to envy,
but always open to a friend."

You are a friend,
aren't you, Mr Eberlin?

Now that's More-Molyneux and his
seven children. Or is it eight?

Eight, I think.
Actually he had eleven altogether.

Well, there's not much else
to do around here after dark.

That's James I, who was
actually more queen than king.

Now, this is interesting.

That is William IV's coronation chair.
Rather sweet, isn't it?

Fraser speaks very highly
of you, Eberlin,

which should be encouraging,
don't you think?

Well, we mustn't
keep them waiting, must we?

That's James' wife, the poor dear.

Come along. Just down this corridor.

She was the one that cut up
3,000 of Queen Elizabeth's gowns

for a fancy dress ball.

Which makes you think.
Here we are.

Mr Eberlin, gentlemen.
I think you know everyone here.

Please sit down, Mr Eberlin.

Thank you.

Would you like a drink?

Yes. A large neat whisky
would be most welcome.

With pleasure.

Did you have
a good journey here, Eberlin?

Very pleasant, sir. Thank you.

Pity about your car being in casualty.

- So useful, aren't they?
- Yes. However, I...

You've wrecked your car?

Not exactly wrecked it.

I was involved in a slight accident
on my way back from Africa.

The camel, I hear,
is recovering beautifully.

So is my hand.

Lights, please.

Esau Pretty.

Forty-one years. British subject.

Shot dead by
unknown assassin in Berlin.

Ernest Lee Gulliver.

Forty-four years. British subject.

Electrocuted by
unknown assassin, at sea.

Sidney Nightingale.
Thirty-four years. British subject.

Shot dead by unknown assassin
in Tangiers.

Now, these facts, Eberlin,
are not of course new to you.

Of course
they're not new to Mr Eberlin.

Facts like that are hardly likely
to escape his meticulous attention.

Paul Gatiss. Thirty-one years.
British subject.

And unlike my predecessors,
am not only in perfect health,

but also desire to remain that way.

You know Mr Gatiss, of course.
He's just returned from Munich.

Good morning, Eberlin.
You're looking well.

You are aware, no doubt,
of the details of Hesperides?

Yes, sir. But only insomuch
as my department itself is concerned.

- Quite.
- If I may interrupt, sir,

the actual operation itself is not really
the meat of our programme.

It is top security.

And unauthorised persons
are present who...

I'm well aware of that, Quince.
Well aware.

You'll get your promotion, so just...

Now I'd like all but Eberlin,
Quince, and Colonel Flowers

and, of course, Gatiss
to leave the room.

All right, Quince?

You too, Copperfield.

Now, Eberlin, I'm not going into the whys
and wherefores of why you were selected.

I've long admired your efficiency
and, may I say, devotion to your work.

Now, as Quince has said,
the actual Operation Hesperides

is not the core of the matter.
That is of a parallel nature.

What is the core of the matter

is that the success of Hesperides
has been severely impeded.

Not once, but three times.

So, in my book,
what is required first,

before we can send out
a successor to Nightingale,

is the elimination

of that impediment.

All right so far?

I said, "is that all right, so far?"

- By "impediment", you mean...
- The assassin.

Do you know who this assassin is?

Well, we believe it to be
the same man each time.

Pardon me.

You mean you have
a strong lead on this assassin, sir?

Not really. Except that we know
who it is.

- Who exactly is it, sir?
- Oh, does the name

Krasnevin...

He's the chappie
we want you to eliminate.

We've reason to believe
he's now in Berlin.

So we'd like you to
fly out there tomorrow.

You can have Gatiss to help you.

And he'll meet up with you later.

Stop doodling, Quince,
this isn't a tea break.

Now, don't give us
your answer right away.

Take a stroll and think it over.

You're under no obligation.

And let us have your answer in half
an hour. All right? Any questions?

- No, sir.
- Good.

- Then shall we adjourn, gentlemen?
- One moment, sir.

If I may be so impertinent
as to ask Eberlin a question myself?

Well, sir, according to his file...

Gatiss, where did you get that file?

- From records, sir.
- Close that damn thing!

You've absolutely
no authority to take it,

especially without my permission!

If I'm to work with somebody,

I've the right to know
everything about the man.

Apparently I'm in the wrong,
as well as in the dark.

Let me give you
a piece of advice, Mr Eberlin.

We're playing a dangerous game,
you and I.

Krasnevin's waiting
for his next victim,

which could be me.

Now, I ensure my health
by trusting no-one.

I certainly don't trust you.

I apologise for
Gatiss' behaviour, gentlemen.

He's young and consequently
rather unpredictable at times.

But he's one of the best men
we have in the field.

You're not going to tell me
he's better than Nightingale?

No.

Except that he, at least, is alive.

He's agreed.
Did you see that? He's agreed.

Come along, Eberlin.
I've got something I want to show you.

It's a film. A film of Krasnevin.

You're not supposed to be here.

That's the understatement of the year.

Yeah.

She was very fragile.

I'm being sent to Berlin
to kill Krasnevin.

Yes, I know.

How about a cup of coffee?

- How did you know?
- How did I know what?

That I was going to Berlin.

Why?

It's supposed to be a secret?

What are you going to do about it?

- I'll find a solution.
- Good.

But if you're going to Berlin,
I hope you stay in the West.

Won't you?

What do you mean by that?

You got Rotopkin's reply, didn't you?
At the church.

They don't want you back in the East.

It seems you're too young
to be pensioned off just yet.

Are you all right?

I think you'd better get out of here.

- Don't you care what I do?
- No.

I'm sure your plans are
perfectly adequate, as always.

You see, you are not
the only one who wants to get out.

I felt like you for ten years.

And so one compromises.

Does this disgust you?

I'm sorry. I hoped
you wouldn't find out.

They've got a film of the man
they think is Krasnevin.

- Then not of you?
- No.

But that's marvellous.

I didn't know that.

All you have to do now is to
find the man, and then kill him,

and then announce him
to the British as Krasnevin.

It couldn't be better, could it?

Did you know the man
in the film at all?

- Recognise his face?
- Yes.

It was you.

They think you're Krasnevin.

It was you in the film.

Oh, God.

I see.

What are you going to do about it?

What would you do?

- I'd kill you.
- Yes, you'd have to.

I'd have to.

After all, it's your life or mine.

Do it.

No, no. You shall do it.

Please. For both our sakes.
I beg you. Do it.

- No. I'll find another way.
- No, no, no.

I've got nothing worth living for.
Take it. Take it. I beg you.

Please take it.

Alex. Alex.

Alex. Alex! Come back, Alex!

Alex. Alex. No, no.

No, why?

I thought you were my friend, Alex.

Alex!

Alex, come back!

Don't leave me! Don't leave me!

Come back, I beg you!

Come back! Come back!

Rotopkin!

Rotopkin! Rotopkin!

Fraser told me to tell you that
you'll be picked up at Berlin Airport.

A blue Mercedes, CD plates.

You know, one thing
about this damned profession,

you're constantly
being reminded of it.

I feel like a whore in a creaking bed.

They've changed
your name to George Dancer.

And here's your new passport
for Berlin, and documents.

And this is from me.

A little going-away present.

Oh, I'm going to miss you, Alexander.

Call me George.

Eberlin is dead.

Long live George Dancer,

given half the chance.

- I want to go to East Berlin.
- Nach East Berlin,

- you must take the train from the Tiergarten.
- Ja, bitte.

Wie viel Geld
bringen Sie nach Ostberlin?

Ein hundert Deutsche Mark.

Dort warten, bis wir an Sie rufen.

Hello! Fancy seeing you here.

I could hardly believe it
when I saw you getting off the train.

What are you doing here?
Remember me?

The loo?

You on holiday?

Sort of.

I'm here on business myself.

Haven't had much success
with my portraits,

so I thought a few cold,
stark shots of the Berlin Wall

might do the trick.

- Are you here with your mother?
- Oh, Lord, no.

She's gone off to Crete with
the man from the dyers and cleaners.

No, I'm with Nevil.
You remember Nevil, don't you?

- Oh, yes.
- He's quite harmless.

I mean, we're not
having a thing or anything.

Nevil's just... well, Nevil.

You haven't really met him properly.
Hang on a minute, I'll find him.

You'll love Nevil. Nevil!

Please don't ask any questions,

but my name is George Dancer,

and I'm in oil.

All right?

Nevil, I'd like you
to meet George Dancer.

- He's in oil.
- Hello. How are you?

How do you do?

Nevil's an actor. He acts.

- You're in oil, you say?
- Yes.

- Why?
- Nothing. It's just...

Herr Dancer?
Wollen Sie in das Zimmer gehen?

- Warum?
- Bitte.

Why exactly are you
visiting East Berlin?

- Just sightseeing.
- Sightseeing?

Yes. Just looking around.

Looking around?

Well, I thought that since
I was in Berlin, I might as well

- take the opportunity...
- To visit the Eastern Sector.

Yes.

- What is your name again?
- Dancer.

- George Dancer.
- Ah, yes, Dancer.

And you work in an oil company,
is that not right?

Yes.

Would you mind explaining
what this is all about?

Just routine matters.

I see nobody else
has been dragged in here.

Well, there have to be
some obstacles to heaven, Herr Dancer.

Otherwise the dog might get in.

Stein.

Danke.

One passport returned to owner.

We're sorry to have kept you so long.
And we apologise.

Thank you.

Well, everything comes
to he who waits.

Not that way, Herr Dancer!

Not this way, Herr Dancer. That way.

There's a train returning to
West Berlin in about three minutes.

What the hell do you mean?
I wish to go to East Berlin.

- No. Permission has been refused.
- Refused? By whom?

I'm sorry. We cannot allow you
to enter into East Berlin

or any part of the
Deutsche Demokratische Republik.

If you try to enter illegally
you will be arrested immediately.

You really are rather silly,
Herr Dancer.

Why have I been refused? Why?

But you know why.

You won't do
anything foolish, will you?

We are a tolerant state,
but our affections can change,

Herr Dancer, if that is your name.

This way.

Hello.

They wouldn't let me
through with this.

Professional photographer.
Aren't they silly?

Your case.

Hat, coat.

I see they wouldn't
let you in either, huh?

How come?

Where's your friend Nevil?

Oh, they let him in all right,
because he didn't have a...

- A camera?
- Mm-hmm.

Come on.

- Is he a friend of yours?
- Hardly.

What on Earth's going on, George?

What made you come to Berlin?

I told you. To take some photographs.

- Is that all?
- Sure. Why?

What were you doing in Tunis?

I went there with Mummy. I told you.

Look, I'm not following you,
if that's what you think.

I don't know why you're all spooky
about going under an assumed name.

My old Mum does it all the time when
she goes off on a dirty weekend.

You're not on a dirty weekend,
are you, George?

- Not exactly. Taxi!
- I hope not.

I'd hate to think you're shacked up with
some rotten old Fräulein somewhere.

What's that statue for, George?

- Victory.
- Whose?

Anybody's.

- What hotel are you going to?
- The Kempinski, please.

Kempinski, bitte.

Nevil and I are going to the
Café Europa for a drink later on

and we'll probably go on
somewhere afterwards.

Do you think you'd like to come?

No. Thank you.

If you change your mind, Café Europa.

Die Welt ist dumm,
die Welt ist blind.

Wird täglich abgeschmackter.

Rotopkin?

Rotopkin!

Everything was laid on.
We were waiting for you.

- Why didn't you take the Mercedes?
- I met a friend of mine at the airport.

- We took a taxi instead.
- You haven't come here to chase birds.

I had enough trouble
with Prentiss in Munich.

We can't all be self-sufficient.

I was just trying to
brush up my German, that's all.

You've come here to find Krasnevin.

And I'm here to see that you do it.

This job is my responsibility.

When I need your help,
I'll ask for it.

You will, George.

You will.

Wow! Getting through
that lecherous crowd is a horror.

Are all Germans as randy
as they are here?

Some dirty old Fritz
kept grabbing at my bottom.

Would you be an angel?
I'll meet you later.

Hello.
I didn't expect to see you again.

- Where are we going?
- To my hotel.

Oh.

- Who was that man you were talking to?
- What man?

The one you were talking to
outside your hotel this afternoon.

Oh, that man.

I don't know.
He just wanted to pick me up.

Must be the cold weather.

Please, can I have a ciggy?

Oh.

You must be one of
those convent girls.

I hate formalities, don't you?

Do you sleep
on the right side or the left?

- I'm an existentialist.
- You're a what?

I'm an ex...

Isn't that the right word?

I would say "exhibitionist"
is more to the point.

What's an existentialist, then?

Well, it's slightly more complex
than romping around naked.

Then I must be the other thing,
what you said before.

♪ If you want love

♪ You must give love

♪ Something you can feel, love

♪ Something that's for real, love ♪

I'm sorry I was such a child about it.

♪ Puppets dancing on a string ♪

What's the matter?

♪ They dance, but don't know why... ♪

Stay that way as long as you can.

It's a beautiful state, the innocence.

- What is it?
- Shhhh.

Stay here.

Herr Dancer?

- Ah...
- Yes?

Is this an awkward moment?

What do you want?

To speak to you, of course, old man.
Just for a second.

I'll see you in the bathroom
at the end of the hall.

George, who was that?

I don't know. Do you?

My name is Henderson.
How do you do?

I must apologise

for doing all this silly subterfuge,
but really, old man,

I mean, if you insist
on picking up stray tarts,

how on earth can you
expect us to get in touch with you?

- It's not done, you see.
- I'm so sorry.

I'd give her to you,
but she's part of a set.

Who's "we"?

Well, Fraser. Fraser, of course.

I mean, you must realise
he's terribly worried about you.

I mean, you don't appear
to be actually doing anything.

You must be from Command.

Yes, yes. Yes, I'm from Command.

I was in Munich, as a matter of fact,
when I got the wire. Would you, er...

- You were in Munich with Gatiss?
- Yes. Yes. Poor old Gatiss.

Left him drowning
his sorrows in a bar.

- That's Gatiss for you.
- Yes. Poor old Gatiss.

The, er...

Did you pick up
that little girl today?

I don't remember
seeing you at Command.

No, no, well, I was, um...
I was stationed at Munich, you see,

and you know what Munich's like.

All that Bavarian beer.

- With Gatiss?
- Mmm.

And so, you see,
Fraser asked me to sort of

come along here and find out

what your sort of
plans were, actually.

I mean, I was nearby,
probably, and, um...

well, you do understand?

Perfectly.

You may be interested to know

that Command doesn't have
a branch in Munich.

And that the name Henderson
has never appeared in the files.

If it had been,
I would have been notified.

Furthermore, Gatiss left Munich
ten days ago.

Otherwise, your
credentials are perfect.

What are you? East German?

Trying to get a little credit for yourself?

Or perhaps you're even Russian?

You can tell Rotopkin

that if he hadn't been so eager to kill Pavel,
I wouldn't be in this bloody mess.

And before you carry on
with your pathetic little games,

you might remember whose side I'm on.

Whose side are you on, Mr Eberlin?

What do you mean? What do you mean?

What do you mean? What do you mean?

Damn them all.

Damn the whole bloody lot of them.

She's gone.

The little bird has flown.

Good morning, George. Command thought
you might need a little bit of assistance.

It's now 5:47,
so if you hurry with your clothes,

- we should have enough time.
- Enough time for what?

To find Krasnevin, of course.

Or had you forgotten so soon?

I'll see you downstairs in six minutes.

Hold my glasses.

Super shot!

Prentiss is waiting for you
in the restaurant up there.

He's got your car.

Come back to the hotel
immediately you've seen him.

I'll be there.

Oh, here comes Kinky Bear again.
Oh, you take a picture of me with him.

My name is Sobakevich.

You've probably heard of me.
I'm very famous man.

How do you do?

First I must tell you how sorry we are

we had to treat you
so badly at the frontier.

But in Soviet Union,
you are worthless to us.

I'll be worthless to you here
if you don't do something.

And quickly.

We realise that. But you must realise
it's dangerous to contact you

with all the British buzzing about.

What am I supposed to do
in the meantime?

Sit in the middle of the road
till Rotopkin makes up his mind?

He lost his wife, you know.

One night, he went home,
and she was gone.

- His dog was still there, but she...
- Take Gatiss off my back,

or I'll kill him.

You'll kill him,
but we'll tell you when.

First we have to give them Krasnevin.

It's all right, it won't be you.

It'll have to be someone
working for them as well.

Otherwise they'll never swallow it.

It will be someone working for them.
And they'll swallow it.

Who?

This is no place to talk.
Have you no sense of timing?

Here. I've finished it.

Hello. Welcome to the Funkturm.

On a clear day, you can
see them jumping over the Wall.

Excuse me. May I borrow the sugar?

- Please. Please.
- Thank you.

Oh, by the way, they found the man
we thought was Krasnevin. He was dead.

How do you know
this man wasn't Krasnevin?

- Thank you.
- Oh, please keep it.

Please keep it as a memento
of a beautiful friendship.

You're so kind.

Isn't she gorgeous?
Do you go for redheads?

Prentiss, if you don't tell me about
this man you found, and quickly,

- I swear to you, I'll break your...
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sir. Yes.

Well, you know what
we all think of the CIA.

Well, it was the CI-yi-yi-yay...

Look at this.

It's fantastic. It was the CIA...

It was the CIA who proved
the dead man wasn't Krasnevin.

Apparently they had a file
on him the whole time.

The man's name was, um... Pavel.

Sorry, would you like a drink?
I didn't offer you one.

He's a Russian, all right,
but nothing very important.

Just a contact. Not an assassin.

Junkie as well, they said. Mainline.

Do you think the red bird might fancy
a shallow, unsatisfactory relationship

with someone of my ilk?

Does Gatiss know?

Oh, yes. Yes.
Yes, he knows, all right.

You wouldn't believe it
but the CIA actually hinted...

Well, they didn't hint.

They confirmed that this Krasnevin
was a double. One of us.

Well, you can imagine
Fraser's reaction to that.

What was Fraser's reaction?

Which one do you think
is the best bet? Oh, sorry.

Um..., well, he, um...

It's an interesting theory, I mean,
it's fairly... fairly plausible, isn't it?

Bloke once told me they held
these things up with Scotch Tape.

Do you believe that?
Oh, by the way, your car's ready.

It's outside. Like to see it?

There you are.
They've done a good job, haven't they?

Gatiss hates you, you know.

- Does he?
- Yes. Intensely.

Mind you, he's scarcely
in love with me.

Thinks I'm a
sentimental lecher. He's right.

- What makes you think he does?
- Oh, he just does.

Hates you. Hates me.
Hates everybody. Even women.

You'd better get back to the hotel.
He's waiting for you.

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Weiter! Weiter!

So, this is your
second visit to Berlin,

and you would like to go
to East Berlin

but, because of certain reasons,

permission has been refused,
as you discovered.

Who tipped you off?
Stein, the officer at Control?

Stein? No. Too high up.

It was the private.

Can you get me across?

When do you want to go over?

Within the next 24 hours.

Die Polizei kommen!

You goddamned bastard!
You goddamned bastard!

- I didn't tell them, believe me, I...
- You told the police about us.

Come on, get out
before you're arrested.

Now get in my car. Go on.

I tell you not to go running around
on your own and what happens?

You wind up with some pimp

who's known by everyone and his mother
from here to Peking,

in the idiotic hope
that you'll find Krasnevin.

What gave you the idea that Krasnevin
would be in the East?

It's lucky I was there or you'd be
in a VoPo prison by now,

having your guts beaten out.

Did you really think
that Greff could help us?

Eh?

He works for the East.

His interests are not on our side,
they're on theirs.

If you'd gone along with him
he'd have taken your money

and as soon as you'd got over the Wall
you would have been arrested.

Don't you think that's funny?

Yes.

Very funny.

Hello, George.

The door was open.

It is a far, far better thing I do
than I have ever done before.

♪ People wearing flowers in their hair

Hotel rooms are awful, aren't they?

Do you take cream or sugar?

Hmm?

George, cream or sugar?

- How long have you known Gatiss?
- Who?

What about Copperfield?

David Copperfield?

Now, don't be so facetious.

Sorry, I didn't mean to.

Are they people I should know?

You don't know, do you?

You really don't know.

Oh, you forgot your T-shirt.

- Oh, have I? I didn't notice.
- Yes.

- Here, let me have it back.
- No!

- Come on.
- No!

- Come on.
- No!

I thought I'd find you here.

Ah, good evening, Gatiss.

Rude, but predictable as ever.

Shall we have him arrested
for breaking and entering?

- Yes.
- Or shall it be something more exotic,

like voyeurism?

I told you before, this isn't a game.

I don't care what you think about me,
I don't care.

Myself, I hate everything about you.
You're pathetic to me.

But we're not paid
to behave like children,

so put this on and we'll go.

What can we do at this time of night?

Recognise him?

Who is that man?

Do you have to go?

Yes.

Will you come back?

I don't know.

George,

I can stay in Berlin
as long as you want me to.

George,

maybe I love you.

Look, we haven't got all...

You'll catch cold.

I do believe you two
would have got on well together.

You haven't got a past

and he hasn't got a future.

None at all.

- Do we wait here?
- No.

Henderson, or whatever his name is,

lives in that building, just there.

How do you know?

He sent me a postcard.

How the hell do you think I know?
Not from you, anyway.

The man's such an amateur.

He even tried following me.

He's not here.

He usually parks
his Volkswagen over there.

We'll have to wait for him
out of sight, till he returns.

- How do you know he'll come?
- I don't.

But he's worth waiting for.

With a little persuasion,
he could tell us all about Krasnevin.

Stay where you are!

Search him, George.

Gatiss is going to kill you.

If you run when I call his name,
I'll try and save you.

Gatiss...

Get in the car, you bloody fool!

Why did you have to kill him?

- The bloody Red was no use to us dead.
- He tried to escape.

Who are they?

Don't you recognise them?

They're Russians.

You stay here, you'll be safer.

Don't forget you just shot
one of their beloved comrades,

and they'll be a little bit
touchy about that.

Cover me.

I'd feel happier if you put one of
your men in my car first.

- What exactly do you want?
- Not I. You.

You've just killed one of our men,

which is a pity
because it was his birthday today.

Was it? Well, you shouldn't have
let him out on his own.

Still, I'm sure there are plenty more
where he came from.

Plenty. Cigar?

Oh, er...

it's a Havana, isn't it?

- Is it?
- Yes.

Rather a fine one.

That so?
They're very common in Soviet Union.

Dime a dozen, as you say.

No, that's American.

The dime is a small American coin.

I didn't think the Americans
still had small coins.

They don't.
They gave them all to the British.

Allow me.

You know, if you harm us again,
we'll kill you and him.

And Fraser and Quince and that negro,
what's his name? Brogue.

Oh, yes, and Prentiss.
That would do for a start.

I mean, if you want to
turn this into a gang war,

it's all right with us.

But our reserves are closer.

- Who do you think you are? Al Capone?
- Who's Al Capone?

He was a megalomaniac gangster who
murdered anyone who got in his way.

Really? Whatever happened to him?

He changed his name to Stalin
and moved to Russia.

I thought he sounded familiar.

- Allow me.
- Thank you.

What do you want, Gatiss?

- I want a man called Krasnevin.
- Never heard of him.

You've never heard
of anybody, have you?

I've heard of you, Gatiss,
I've heard of you.

I want Krasnevin.

All right. You can have him.

Provided you and your friends
get out of Berlin.

And what do you want in return?

- 100,000.
- Pounds.

- Pounds and dollars, of course.
- Of course.

Tell me, why are you
giving him away so easily?

If you want him so badly,
he's no good to us any more.

The killer wolf who leaves his card

soon becomes the prey.

An old Russian proverb
I made up this morning.

Tell him I'll meet him
tomorrow morning at nine o'clock,

in the forest of Aberwald
with the money.

Right. Who's Krasnevin?

Is that the money?

Good.

Who is he?

Where are all
our noble ideologies now?

We are all the way back
to the thirty pieces of silver.

Grow up, Sobakevich,
we never left them.

The only difference is that today,
Judas is a hero of the state.

Now,

who's Krasnevin, Sobakevich?

All right. I won't tell you who he is,

but I'll tell you
where you can find out.

More games.

- You Russians are full of fun, aren't you?
- No more games.

You go to the Europa Centre basement
tonight, three a.m.,

and you can find out.

- How?
- I know no more.

Is it all there?

Half.

The other half tomorrow.

Only this time,
we'll make the rendezvous.

Where?

The Grand Prix at the AVUS.
You can't miss it.

If it's nice, bring a friend
and some sandwiches. Make a day of it.

But there'll be
thousands of people there.

I like crowds.
I come from a large family.

You've done nothing
since you've been in Berlin, have you?

Now listen, Gatiss,
I've only been here 48 hours.

And we don't even know
if Krasnevin is still in Berlin.

Oh, he is, Eberlin. He is.

You can be sure of that.

Are you interested
in motor racing, George?

What did you drag me
to this place for, anyway?

Hitler built the AVUS, you know.

Ah.

Excuse me, George.

I've a bet on the race.

- Can you do it?
- Yeah. Of course.

Good.

Let's go, shall we?

No. You go off on your own.

I don't like you, Eberlin.

I don't like you, because
you're weak and dishonest.

But even more, I don't like you
because you're frightened of me.

And that disturbs me.

I want to know why.

You can tell me.

I'm a very understanding man.

You haven't got an ounce of
understanding or emotion in your body.

You died the moment you were born.

And when your heart
finally stops beating,

it'll be a mere formality.

I must remember that.

Do you mind if I write it down?

What was it again?

"Died the moment I was born."

What's that noise, George?

They're practising at the ranges
across the lake.

Oh.

Must be very exciting, what you do.

Travelling round under
"perseudonemyns" and all that.

It's hell.

It couldn't be worse than what I do.

I mean, taking pictures
is all right, but...

I just seem to drift aimlessly
half the time.

Last thing I want to do
is end up like my mother.

Someone told me you were married.
Is that true?

Once.

A long time ago.

Did you love her?

Love her?

I don't know.

I think it's important
to love somebody.

Nothing else matters, really.

I suppose so.

I mean, in the end,
what else is there?

Nothing.

What was her name?

I can't remember.

What are you doing here?

I got a phone call from Sobakevich
to come here.

Did you, George?

Did you now?

Sobakevich mentioned a photo booth.

He said you'd find
what you wanted over there.

Copperfield? It's a joke.

They must be mad if they think
we'll believe it's Copperfield.

- He was in Tangiers.
- No.

I don't believe it.

- Nightingale.
- He couldn't kill...

It's a gigantic farce.

Poor bastard.

The visa stops in 1949.

According to this
he's got a wife in Leningrad.

The photo is Copperfield all right.
Younger, but definitely Copperfield.

Igor Sergei Krasnevin,
born Kiev, 1921.

Look, he couldn't have
been carrying all that.

The Russians must have planted it.

Planted?

You mean you don't believe
that Copperfield is...

What's that?

A complete account of Hesperides.

Everything is here,
names, dates, operations.

The Russians must have
known all the time.

Oh, by the way,

you seem to be next on the list.

Oh, and this, there's more.

It is Copperfield, isn't it?

That's what it all says.

Yes.

Yes, it is Copperfield.

I must tell you something
that will amuse you.

I thought you were Krasnevin.

All along I was convinced it was you.

And when you turned up just now...

- Isn't it ridiculous?
- Yes, isn't it?

We fly to London tonight.

But first, we must go to the races.

I have to pay off Mr Sobakevich.

Don't stray too far, George.
We might have to leave early.

Zitrone.

Zi-tro-ne. Zitrone.

Before you go any further,

I'm sure I don't
have to tell you this,

but you won't, of course,
try to see, er...

Caroline again after today, will you?

I mean, you'll probably get
promotion in London

and it could be very dangerous.

I'm making myself clear, aren't I?

Zitrone. Zitrone.

Squash. Squash.

Geben Sir mir, bitte,
eine Herva mit Zitrone.

Hello. Thank you.

I'd taste it first if I were you.

My German may not be
as brilliant as I thought.

Can't be worse than mine.

Mmm, it's fine. Thank you.

Herr Dancer!

Dangerous race,
don't you think, Mr Dancer?

Don't you remember me, Mr Dancer?

My name is Harry.

George and I are old friends.
We go back a long way together.

Let's hope so.

George, will you be going
back to London now?

Probably.

Are they all as pretty as you there?

No, I'm the only one.

Have a drink.

You and I should get together
before you leave Berlin.

Don't you think so, Mr Dancer?

I must give you my number.

May I join the in-crowd?

Must keep Germany tidy.

- It's Charlie, isn't it?
- Harry.

Oh, yes. Fancy that.

Will you excuse us a moment, George?

- Sammy and I...
- Harry.

Oh, yes, Harry and I have
a little business to attend to.

You know, you should keep your eye
on the red car. Number 39.

Could do very well.

You're leaving soon, aren't you?

Yes.

As a matter of fact,
I'm leaving today.

- Look, Caroline, I'll see you later, all right?
- Okay.

Would you have told me you were leaving
if we hadn't met by accident?

Probably not.

Well, at least I'm honest.

Men always say that
as if it were a virtue.

It rarely is.

George, fantastic race, isn't it?

Oh, entschuldigung. Guten tag.

Sie haben eine sehr...
wunder... schöne...

Her name is Caroline,
and she's English.

- Ah. Erm, how do you do?
- Hello.

This is, um... this is, er...
Fantastic race, isn't it?

She doesn't speak a word of English
but she's eine kleine raver.

I'll leave you her in my will.

At the rate we're going,
it shouldn't be too long.

I see old Sobakevich has
turned up for his money.

He'll be in for a nice surprise.

How do you mean?

George, where are you going?

- Do you have the rest of the money?
- Yes. Let's watch the race.

Pardon. Pardon.

Sobakevich!

George! George, wait a minute!

Where are you going?
Are you leaving now?

- Yes.
- Please, take me with you.

No. I don't need you any more.

- I see.
- No, you don't.

But it doesn't matter.

- What have I done?
- Nothing whatsoever.

Then why? Why?

Go home, Caroline.

Go home.

I envy you.

- What's happened?
- Change of plan because of Gatiss.

- Everything's been speeded up.
- Has Gatiss been arrested?

No. They won't arrest him.
Even if they knew.

They're too delighted to have
old Happy Harry out of the way.

I've got all your things in here.

- What about my car?
- We'll take care of that. Just get in.

- Where are we going?
- Gatow.

There isn't another
civil aircraft for hours.

Fraser said we should fly out
with the military. It's often done.

- Mr John Prentiss and Mr Eberlin?
- Yes. That's right.

- Sergeant Harris.
- How do you do?

- That I understand is the, er...
- That's right, sir.

Ready for take-off in ten minutes.

Oh, if there's anything
you need, gentlemen, just ask.

Do you have a telephone here?

- Personal call, is it, sir?
- Yes.

In the corner, sir.

Caroline Whatsit?

Yes. I promised
I'd call her before I left.

Caledonian Airways
charter flight for London

will be departing
in approximately five minutes.

Will all personnel standby to embark.

Die Welt ist dumm,
die Welt ist blind.

Wird täglich abgeschmackter.

Ah, Krasnevin.

- I'm just leaving Gatow airport now.
- Good.

- You know Sobakevich is dead?
- Yes.

- Gatiss.
- We know.

None of this would have happened
if you hadn't killed Pavel.

I didn't kill Pavel.

I don't mean you personally.
I mean KGB.

Pavel wasn't killed by us.
We wouldn't do that to him.

You must have known that.

But I never...

I didn't.

I saw you.

The car. I saw you there.

You were taking
Pavel's body away, and...

Come along, Eberlin. They're waiting.

Oh, I'm sorry. Is she being like that?
Tears and wailing? Well, never mind.

Tell her you love her madly,
and you'll die without her.

It never fails.

Krasnevin, it wasn't us.

It was the British.

They're the ones who did it.

Do you realise what this means?

If it was the British who killed Pavel,
then they know.

They've known all the time.

They know I'm Krasnevin.

Rotopkin.

They must know.

Rotopkin, are you there?

You are dead, Krasnevin. You are dead.

Rotopkin!

I think we ought to go now, sir.

Can't keep the aircraft waiting.

It seems the party's rung off, sir.

- You know, don't you?
- Yes.

Yes, we knew all the time.

Sorry about that,
but you know how it is.

We had to find the others.

Do you get nervous on planes?
I used to.

They're so fast nowadays. I mean,
we'll be in London in two hours' time.

Just think of that.

What about Gatiss?

He was the only one who didn't know.
Couldn't risk it with him.

He knows now.

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