A Crack in the Floor (2001) - full transcript

For the past 33 years Jeremiah Hill has lived alone, with no contact with the outside world, and he intends to keep it that way. Jeremiah's mother had always warned him not to associate with the outside world, and her brutal rape and killing right before his eyes taught him a lesson he intends never to forget; and those who enter his world will pay a deadly price. As Lehman and his five friends from L.A. start their weekend camping trip they run into Tyler Trout and Floyd Fryed who represent the gateway into this distorted world that they are about to enter. These things just don't happen in sheriff Talmidge and deputy Kevin Gordon's small mountain town, and by stumbling upon this lonely cabin in the woods, they have shattered 33 years of solitude in Jeremiah's world... And unbeknownst to Lehman and his friends, soon their weekend trip of hiking and camping will become a nightmare of survival.

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(eerie ominous music)

- You're the man of the
family now Jeremiah.

(birds chirping)
You must keep the ways

of your father.

We are not to mix with the outside world.

We are to wait, for the
second coming of our Lord.

Do you understand?

(shovel clanking)

(tender music)
The world is an evil place

son, nobody knows about us out here,

nobody ever will.

Ours'll be a hard life but,
but it's so very worth it.

'Cause the end of the
journey is what we seek.

(dreamy music)

Your father made this for you.

He meant to give it to
you on your birthday.

He never got a chance
to tell you either but,

your father loved you very much Jeremiah.

(somber music)

(woman sobbing)

(eerie ominous music)

(birds chirping)

- Vroom!

(grunts), vroom!

(suspenseful music)

- Jeremiah, Jeremiah, go inside.

(ominous music)

Jeremiah get inside.

(birds chirping)

(crow cawing)

- Why hello ma'am.

- [Man] Ma'am.

- You gentlemen lost?

- (chuckles) Did you hear that Turner?

- Yeah, I heard.

(man laughing)

- Now ma'am, if you kindly oblige,

we uh, are a might hungry and
our throats are a bit parched.

If you could see fit to go and--

- Well I'm sorry but uh, as you can see,

I'm in the midst of doing my washing.

And my husband's due back in just a bit,

so, uh, I'm afraid that--

- Well, I think you oughta be.


- Now don't pay no
nevermind to old turner.

Turner, go scaring this fine lady.

- I do not walk with the spirit of fear.


I think it's best if just move on.

- Turner, I think we heard the lady.

- Good day.

(ominous music)

- Oh, I think it's gonna
be better than good,

it's gonna be gooder!
- (grunts) Get off!

- Good, huh?

- Mama.

(dramatic music)
- Now, let's see what you got

hiding under there, huh?

- Oh no!

- Go (mumbles)!
- No (sobs)!


Come over!

- [Woman] No!


- Oh my, oh my!

- Jeremiah!
- Momma...


- Jeremiah!
- What?

(mumbles) somebody's
name, it better be mine!


(bottle breaking)
- No, no!

- Don't do that!
- Shut up!

- Don't do that!
- No, (screaming)!

Jeremiah, look away!

- No!

(glass clattering)

(forlorn music)

(footsteps crunching)

- [Man] Why you're just
as pretty as your momma!


- No!

(somber music)
(wooden creaking)

- [Man] You ain't pretty no more.

(birds chirping)
(woman squealing)


- Put me down!

Oh (giggles)...

- Look baby!

A paradise!

Come on let's check it out!
- Oh my god!

- Come on!

Come on!
- Uh I don't think so!

- Why (laughs) it's beautiful,

come on, it's a little fixer-upper!

- Brad, come on!

- Come on baby!

(door clattering)


this is awesome!
(ominous music)

- That's not a good idea.

- Come on baby, the place is ours.

(ominous music)

- Okay.
- (sighs) Come here!

(woman giggling)

(lips smacking)


- Mmm...
(lips smacking)


(lips smacking)



- Yeah...
(clothes rustling)



(suspenseful music)

- [Woman] (mumbles) something...

(heavy breathing)

(lips smacking)


(lips smacking)



- [Brad] Mmm, mmm...


(lips smacking)




- Oh yeah!
(lips smacking)

(wooden creaking)

- Oh my god!



(wet thudding)

(energetic rock music)

- Frank's gonna hook us
up with a sweat deal!

For our Amsterdam flight!

Groovy huh?

(feedback humming)



- Here baby.
- Oh!

Thank you.

(inhaling sharply)

You're doing research for what?

- I'm writing an article
on why getting stoned,

will finally enable us, as a society,

to break through the
paralysis we experience

when we view visual violence.

- This is sick.

That somebody out there,

can just pull up a picture like that!

- Most people'll look at this,

and get on with their day,

but if we're stoned we'd
stop, look, and think.

Billy, pot's the answer!

(telephone ringing)
- No, no,

you know what the answer is?

Getting an answering
machine, that is the answer!

- I resent that.

I gave you another
cordless for your birthday,

what more could you possibly want?

- Sunny the phone.

- And stick that tongue back in or I'm

gonna use it for a good use!

- You didn't just say that.

- Sunny, the phone.


(telephone beeping)

- Hello?

Hey, Lehman!

It's your fellow caveman.

You want to grunt hello?

What's up Lehman?

Yeah of course we're packed.

So check it out, does
your girlfriend smoke?

You are so gross.

Okay we'll meet you out front.

All right.


- So uh, what did he say
does his girlfriend smoke?

- He said, she smokes his beef joint.

- Oh.

So she smokes.

- Yeah.

I can't wait to

(guitar strumming)
get out of here baby.

Breath some fresh air, be one with nature.

- That's why I dig you.

You are such the tree hugger.


(lips smacking)

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

(ominous music)

- Hello Kate,

this is Rachel from
Dr. Binderman's office.

(water splashing)
We have your test results,

and it's important that you
call us as soon as you get back

to schedule another
appointment, thank you!

(dial tone buzzing)


(water splashing)

(suspenseful music)

(curtain thudding)

- Yeeha!

(dramatic music)

- You jerk, the shower's off limits!

I thought you were out.

- Back scrub?

Just getting you back for last week.

- That's different, I'm
naked and vulnerable in here.

- Yes you are.

- Hmm.

You scared me so bad, you big meanie!

- Oh I'm sorry.

- You're getting all wet.

- I don't care.

(telephone ringing)

Mmm, I love your hands.

(lips smacking)

- We're gonna be late.

- Yep.

Hi, you've reached Kate and Johnny,

we'd love to take your cow,

but we're out milking a call, moo!

- Hey what's up

you guys it's me, where are you?

Anyway, sorry we're late
but we had to go back

to Lehman's new flavor of the
week's house, she forgot her

Spice Girl's CD you guys,

and uh yeah she's coming with us!

Anyway her name is Heidi Triggers,

she looks like a porn (mumbles).

Anyway I'm going off.
- We should get that.

- We're getting gas right
now we'll see you soon,

be ready, bye.

- Uh, Sunny, hey!

Yeah, yeah we're set to go, yeah.

Well uh, we'll be out front, okay?

We'll see you in a few?

(plastic clattering)

All right bye.
(telephone clattering)

Baby they're gonna be here in 10 minutes,

we gotta get going!

(cheerful country music)

(door clicking)

(static hissing)
- Sheriff this is Maggie,

are you there Sheriff?

- Oh...
- Hello?

(static hissing)
- Yeah Maggie.

(static hissing)
- Sheriff, uh we had a call

come in from a small aircraft,

he sees what seems to be, a-a vehicle,

underwater in the reservoir.

(static hissing)
- Uh, copy that Maggie.

Send Russle out there with his boat,

and I'll also send a tow truck out.

(static hissing)
Uh, uh, where's Kevin?

(static hissing)
- Oh he's tending

to the toilet Sheriff, oh
it's all clogged up again.

(static hissing)
Do you want to speak to him?

(static hissing)
- Uh no no,

that that, that that's okay.

- You trying to tell me I
aint strong enough to plunge?

Why when I was your age I could take on

three of your size all at the same time!

I was strong as a bear!

- Well you sure crap like one.

- I heard that!

Well you come back here!

- You know it's all those
damn hot dogs you eat Harold!

- Oh hold on Sheriff he's right here!

Kevin, Sheriff wants to talk to you.

- Yeah Sheriff this is Kevin uh,

I got that toilet fixed,
you know like you wanted,

it seems Harold was the culprit.

(static hissing)
- Well listen that,

that's fine Kevin, I'm just gonna need you

to go on out to the reservoir and,

and uh check that call for me.

Also I want, I want you
to run a plate check

on the uh license, and
I'm uh, I'm gonna be at

Grants for a bit, and then I'll meet up

with you at the reservoir, all right?

- Copy that and uh,

Sheriff I seem to have another
missing persons report,

it's a Brad Mitchell, and a Jessie Scott.

Uh, they're hikers.

(static hissing)

- All right I've got it, I'll
see you at the reservoir.

(static hissing)

- Over.
(static hissing)

(vigorous music)

- (laughs) Come on, so you're saying

you wouldn't do it for a
shit load of cash, Billy?

- No.

I mean the only high that I need comes

in a plastic baggie.

(mumbles), I really think
it's self worship, man.

Climbing a mountain, please.

- Yeah I'm with him, I
wouldn't do it either.

I mean, people must be bored.

Mount Everest, why?

- Guys, it's a spiritual quest.

- Spiritual?

Frostbite's a bitch man, I mean,

the guy was a top surgeon
and he loses his fingers?

There is nothing spiritual about that.

- There I rest my case.

The guy, risks his life, he
loses all of his body parts,

for something that's already been done!

- Johnny, tell him the deal with his nose.

- Oh oh, the nose, no,
Lehman, not the nose.

- Come on the nose, Johnny!

- What about the nose (sighs)?

- All right, the nose,

got taken off, frostbite.

Now he's kinda got that,

that Phantom of the Opera
thing going, you know.

- Well, at least when he's 69-ing a chick

his nose won't get stuck in her pooper.


- You're such a wag, man!

Car box, boxing, man, you're
on a roll today Lehman.

(birds chirping)

(key clicking)
(police radio chattering)

- Oh...


(door thudding)

(foreboding music)

(cable squeaking)

(water splashing)

- You're not gonna believe

what's down here!

Sheriff, this is crazy!

Sheriff, this is, this is crazy!

- Well what?

- I count, I counted 22
cars down there so far!

- What?

Did you see any bodies?

- Uh no, n-no bodies, sir.


- 22 cars down there, well you know Russle

it can only be one thing, it has to be,

insurance scam, something like that.

'Cause this is the perfect
place to hide vehicles.


(police radio chattering)

All right Russle here's what we do.

I want to set up a temporary,
uh vehicle compound here.

I want to set up a perimeter,
all around this area, okay?

We got to do this quick, before,

the townsfolk get ahold
of this 'cause as soon

as they hear this they're gonna be

out here like shit through a
goose, looking at all this.

- Oh, with all due
respect Sheriff I mean uh,

uh, uh, I'm not, I'm
not too sure about this,

I-I-I don't know what
to do, I, I sell boats,

I'm not in law enforcement.

- You want to help me

don't you?
- Oh, yes sir.

- Have you ever robbed a bank,

have you ever murdered anybody,

have you ever used
heroin, marijuana, sheep?

- N-N-No sir.
- Okay then you're deputized.

Think you can handle it?

- Oh, oh yeah, y-yes sir, yes, yes I can.

- Well by god I appreciate it.

(police radio chattering)

(door clattering)

- All right, uh, I'm in charge
now so let's get a move on!

And-and-and be careful, 'cause, 'cause we

don't want to circumcise the evidence!

- Russle, uh, (sighs), it's compromise.

Compromise, hmm?

- Oh...

Oh, uh all right, you f, you fine,

you fine gentlemen, let's,

let's pull us up some vehicles and,

and, and and place 'em
right, right over here.

(static hissing)
- Sheriff?

- Yeah Maggie uh, where the hell is Kevin?

(static hissing)
- Kevin's gone over

to Mrs. Parson's house, she fell down

the stairs of her basement.

He just called in from
her phone to tell me.

His radio's still not working properly.

- I want his radio fixed today.

I mean th-this is a damn joke!

Christ almighty, (mumbles), look,

I'm sorry Maggie, run
this plate for me, okay?

(relaxing country music)

- Harold!

Uh, will you please take these boxes and

throw them in the trash,
they have been sitting here

for over a week now.
- You wish!

That's all just from today.

And besides, what does
the shade of my skin

look like to you, uh,
now what do I look like?

- Like a racist janitor.

- What if I raced my
hand up to your behind?

(chuckles) Bet that'll set
off your fireworks, huh?

- Perv.
- What if I perved,

your curve?

Oh, I get it, better to speak to

the hand and not the face (laughs)!

(birds chirping)
(foreboding music)

(eerily pensive music)

(mysterious music)

(relaxing music)

- I'm hungry.

- Okay sweetie.

Hey you guys, how 'bout we stop for

a nice, fat, booger with cheese?

- Lehman we just ate, I mean,

I'm okay with stopping
again, don't get me wrong,

no offense, Heidi, but why don't we get

something to eat when we stop for gas

and we can kill two birds with one stone?

- Heidi, you seem to
have a healthy appetite.

- Hey, maybe she's pregnant, poppa, huh?

- Kate's right Lehman,
I'm fine I can wait.

- So Heidi, what do you like to smoke?

Cigarettes, pot, or...


- I'm sorry, what was the question?

- Do you like to smoke cigarettes,
pot, or, well that's it.

Cigarettes or pot.

- I smoke a little Mary Jane on occasion.

(lips smacking)
- Ooh, Mary Jane!

- [Johnny] Uh-hmmm...

- Uh speaking of which, how's about

a little Mary Jane for the driver?

- Yeah, pass the Mary Jane!

- Mary Jane coming right up!

- Don't let it bother you!

- Hey baby we're just playing.

- What's up with the rain,
anyone check the weather?

- [Kate] It's supposed to clear up later.

- Well I hope it does.

Hiking in the rain sucks.


(gravel crunching)

(water splashing)

(engine revving)

- [Kevin] Sheriff this is Kevin, over.

Uh sir, do you copy?

Sheriff this is Kevin.

(static hissing)

- Right uh, uh, I copy
Kevin y-you have to give

me a second to get to the,
to the hand set, okay?

- Yeah I was just checking in sir,

I-I'm back at the station,

I was wondering if I should
go to the reservoir now?

- I think that'd be a good idea.

(static hissing)
How's Mrs. Parsons?

(static hissing)
- Oh uh she's just

banged up real bad, and
the doc's taking X-Rays,

she might'a hurt her hip.

(static hissing)
- Shit that's too bad.

Look I'll try to get over there

and see her when I got time.

(static hissing)
Listen any word on that uh,

plate that I wanted run?

- Uh no sir the wires seem
to be all tied up right now.

Uh, what's your 20?

(static hissing)
- Well, I'm about

30 miles from Fallbrook,

(static hissing)
heading up on the east ridge.

(static hissing)

(tense music)

Oh, well now, what have we here?

What have we...

(static hissing)

Um, I'm gonna make a stop, you
head on out to the reservoir,

and uh, I'll meet you there.

(static hissing)
- Copy that sir.

One more thing I'm having Curtis install

a new radio in my car so,
I'll be mobile soon sir.

(static hissing)
- Well that's good Kevin.

That's the best news I heard all day.

(static hissing)

(perky country music)

(engine revving)

(birds chirping)


(limbs cracking)

(ominous music)



(wooden thumping)

Anybody home?



(hinges creaking)




(suspenseful music)

See what this is, here...




Well, apparently nobody...


else around.

(ominous music)

(paper rustling)

All righty.


And I am, out of here.

(relaxing music)

- Lehman baby are you sure
about taking the back roads?

- Heidi don't worry about it, I mean,

we probably will get lost but,

that has always been Lehman's contribution

to our adventures.
- It's cool poppy.

I always know what I'm doing even when

I don't know what I'm doing.

- Well you know getting
lost is part of the trip.

- So, you guys do this every year?

When did you all start?

- Back in high school, junior year.

Lehman was only one with a car back then.

Our first trip was to
woo-hoo, Lake Havasu!

- Whoo-hoo, insane!

- Insane
- It was insane.

- Ever since then we,

made a pact to take
these adventures together

until we're old and gray or, we die,

whichever comes first.

- And every year one of us gets to pick

a destination, no matter
how outrageous it is

we all have to commit to it.

This year I picked.

Great hiking, cool places to
explore, horseback riding.

- Ooh, sounds rages, don't it?

- Stop, it's gonna be fun!

- This year we almost didn't make it,

because of what happened last year.

- Why, what happened?

(foreboding music)
- Billy.

- Well, we all went cave diving.

Down in the Bahamas, and
uh, Lehman got us lost.

And uh, he was seeing this girl uh, Janet.

Anyway, uh, when we were down there, uh,

Janet got separated from us and uh,

well she never showed up at the surface.

Her uh, body was never uh, recovered.

- Billy you're an asshole.

- Are you serious?

- Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, hey it messed him up.

Messed us all up.

I'm surprised he didn't tell you, Heidi.

- You guys, come on!

Stop the car!

Stop the car!


I said stop the car!

- It's official, we're lost.

- Again.
- Yeah, ooh!



- I'm sorry sweetheart.

- That was twisted, you had me there!

You're all joking, right?

- Yeah you're a good sport,
just part of the initiation.

- That was good, Billy.

- Just wait, it gets better.

People are strange,
when you're a stranger,

you know the song.

Well it's true.
(lazy country music)

- Hey check out the primo sign!

Free fried chicken meat
with every fill up!

Whoa, hope their cooking's
better than their spelling.

- Johnny we're gonna go blaze up man.

All right.

- Howdy ladies.

- Oh, excuse me.

Could you tell me where
your bathroom is please?

- Oh yes ma'am uh, right down
through there, in the back.

- Thanks.

You wanna come?
- Sure.

- Hey Kate!

You okay?

- Yeah, why?

- Ah it's nothing, it's nothing.

(lips smacking)

- Howdy.

I'm Fryed.

Floyd Fryed.

What's you all folks lookin' to get?

- Uh, how 'bout you fill
her up please, Floyd.

- Hmm yes sir.

(door clattering)
(doorbell ringing)

(metallic thudding)

Oh and hey, how 'bout some of that

free fried chicken meat, is it fresh?

- Fresh as you're gonna
find in these here parts.

And seein's you got so many of 'ya,

I'm gonna give 'ya a whole bucket full!

- Ooh oh that's mighty fine of 'ya!

Probably fried in motor oil.

- What's that?

- Uh, he said while you're at it

you should probably check the motor oil!

- Oh, (chuckles).

No hurt no harm.

There for just the teeniest
twitch of a frog's ass

I thought you was being a cocksucker.

- Oh, no (chuckles).

- Listen I'm gonna, git
your chicken first off,

don't want to get my hand

all dirty and then touch your food.

We uh, pride ourselves
in serving our travelers

with the very best they is.

(gravel crunching)
(birds chirping)

- What the hell was that?

- That, was a loose
piece of work, (sighs).

- Why don't you go give
him a hand (chuckles)!

- Sh, shit (chuckles)!

Come on man, let's go,
let's throw some rock.

- No wait wait wait wait wait!

This morning, I overheard this message,

on my machine, doctor
was leaving a message

about some test results of Kate and all

this kind of stuff, she hasn't
mentioned anything about it!

Am I bugging?

- (sighing) Yeah, it sounds bad.

- What should I do?
- No (laughs),

I'm just kidding, listen
it's, it's uh, no big deal,

if it was serious then,
I'm sure she'd tell you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, chill out.

Come on go long!

Go uh, go John Holmes on me!

- Ooh!

- So when he came up and offered
to pay for half my drink,

I didn't know what to say,

I just stood there thinking,

this guy is either really cheap,

or, could be different.

- Yeah he's definitely different.

Oh that place was so disgusting!

- I know, it was creepy.

I didn't let the toilet seat
touch my legs (chuckles).

I'm hiding it from Lehman,
he doesn't know I smoke.

New relationship stuff, you know.


- So what do you do?

- I just got out of school.

- Oh yeah?

What were you majoring in?

- Special education.

I work with autistic
children during the day.

- [Sunny] Really?

- You sound surprised.

- I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean
for it to sound like that.

- That's okay, I get that all the time.

I'm also a dancer.

School loans, you know (chuckles).

Just for the record I dance in a bikini.


So what do you do?

- I am working on my
Master's in Psychology.

- Damn (mumbles).

So, are you sizing me up?

- (chuckles) No.

- Fried by Fryed!

- Oh, wow,

- Uh, uh...

- Hey, food's up!

Pay the man.
- Oh that is

kickin' chicken Floyd.

- Mm, yeah, thanks.

- 18 on the pump.
- Hmm, appreciate it!

- So, remember this aborigine I was

telling you about from Hawaii,

and he's got this house
made out of solid weed?

Well in order to get into the house

you got to have a password,

to get inside the house,
and the password is

- [Both] Kobuki sulfer mon!

(ominous music)

- Oh my god, oh!

- This is wrong.

This is very wrong.

(suspenseful music)


- Hey!


Good afternoon.

I'm Mr. Tyler Trout at your service.

Uh you're lookin' at the chickens.

Well that mangy old maggot-eaten stray dog

of mine had his way with the chickens

and I had to get rid of a lot of 'em.

It's a shame.

Would you like to snap one of 'em's neck?

I got a lot out in the back.

And the minute they die, you can smell the

rabies leave their body, it's spectacular.

Come on!


Your girlfriend's not feeling good.


I want you to take this chicken wing.

Give me your hand here.

It's not hard, take the
chicken wing, it's soft.

And use it as a suppository.

Leave it in for ten minutes,

it'll take you out of your misery.

Go behind that truck, you'll be hidden.

Go ahead.

Now tell her to go.

You know what's good
about that suppository?

When she farts, it's gonna smell like

Southern Fried chicken.

You hold that in your heart.


(frantic music)

- [Sunny] Get the hell out of here now!

- [Lehman] Whoa, what
the hell's the matter

with you stone monkeys?

- Would you look?
- What's that about?

- I'll tell you in a minute,

just step on the fucking gas!

- Oh, whatever you say Mr. Leary.

(engine revving)
- Go man go!

(frantic music)

- Did you give 'em some chicken?

- A whole bucket full.

You done good, I'm proud of 'ya.

- Thank 'ya.

You know those city folk,
they just don't know how.

- How to what?

- Everything.

(gravel scraping)


Lookit that, look (laughs)!
- You know (laughs)!

(engine revving)

Smart alecky bad manners
you can forgive that,

but now wastefulness, that's a sin!

- Oh my god!

- Hmph, you know they aint nothing

but the devil's (mumbles), (chuckles).

(engine revving)

- You know that plane's
gonna take me to Brazil.

(airplane engine droning)

- Listen I'm not ready to let you go.

- Well, I might uh--
- Need you here, need you

right here now!

- You sure?
- Yeah I'm sure!

You just tell that plane

of yours, that (stammers) we-we don't

want you going nowhere,
especially to Brazil.

- Well there's a lot
of monkeys down there.

You know what you can do with them?

- Yeah but uh...

- Think about it.


- Hey, you want to take me with 'ya?

We'll both go to Brazil.

- Okay.
- Play with the monkeys, huh?

- Play with monkeys,

put bananas in hidden places.


(grunts) I got diarrhea, (mumbles)...

(static hissing)
- Sheriff, are you there?

- Copy Maggie.

(static hissing)
- We got an ID on the

plate you wanted run,
the vehicle's registered

to a Bradley K. Mitchell.
(static hissing)

- Copy that Maggie.

Listen, get Kevin on
the horn, and tell him

that I'm going back out to the east ridge.

I think I might have
found our missing hikers.

(energetic dramatic music)

(truck rattling)

(leaves rustling)


(static hissing)
- Copy that Sheriff.

- Definitely something going on here,

do me a favor, and uh,
call my wife, would 'ya.

(static hissing)
- I'll call your wife

right now Sheriff, over and out.

- Mitchell!
(crow cawing)

(foreboding music)


Anybody there?

(birds chirping)


(hinges creaking)


(boards creaking)

Anybody here?

(hinges creaking)

(door thumping)



(ominous music)

(suspenseful music)

(static hissing)
Maggie, I want you to

get somebody out...


God, dammit,

oh, shit...

(tense music)

Ah (pants)...



Oh god...



Oh, (sighs)...

Finish it hey, you psycho son of a bitch!






(footsteps tapping)

(dramatic music)

(tense music)

(gun clicking)

- Freeze scum bag drop your
hands and raise your gun!

Oh Harold!

(Harold groaning)
Harold, good god almighty

(Harold coughing)
what are you doing?

Hey, hold it!
- Stop that young fella!

- Harold, here, I'm trying to
(Harold mumbling)

help you man!


Uh, oh, Harold!


You okay?

- Hell no I'm not okay!

I got hotdog meat coming out of my nose!

You didn't have to push so hard, damn ya!

- Look at all the mess you made,

like come on, uh here.

Like what do you think?

What does it look like to you?

- Looks like a whole bunch
of spilled ketchup to me.

- Doesn't look like a whole
bunch of spilled ketchup.

Looks like a dead body
was dragged in here,

that's what it looks like to me!

- You smoke that silly tobacco don't ya?

Now why didn't you take a big whiff?

Smells like a damn ketchup farm in here!

- Okay let's just drop it all right?

Where's Maggie?

- Sure, I'll drop it.

The townfolks are gonna have a field day.

- Harold I already asked
you, where's Maggie?

- Ah Maggie had her choir practice,

left about 20 minutes ago.

- Have you heard from the Sheriff?

- Uh a call of some kind come over about

five minutes before you'd come in.

- But was it the Sheriff?

- I don't know, nothing but a (gags),

sound like maybe the radio
was broke or something.

- Figures, I get mine
fixed, maybe his is broken.

(perky music)

(birds chirping)

- All right, we'll stop
right here and hike in.

- Quite the Johnny on the spot aren't we?


(tense music)

- Whoo!
(doors thumping)

(foreboding music)

(paper rustling)

- I don't believe this.

I don't believe this!

(static hissing)
Sheriff this is Kevin, over!

Sheriff this is Kevin,

I don't know if you can hear me but,

we got a problem here.

(static hissing)
Sheriff this is Kevin, over.

(wet thudding)

Damn where are you?

I don't know if you can
hear me there might be

something wrong with your radio but,

the plates on the cars
in the reservoir match

most of the names in
the missing report file!

(static hissing)
Well, I'll be waiting

for you at the station.

(static hissing)

(wet thudding)

(birds chirping)

(leaves rustling)
- You know what this

reminds me of?

- What?
- That movie with those

werewolves in London and those,

those two--
- American Werewolf in London.

- [Billy] Yeah that was the
first movie my dad took me to.

- [Johnny] Awe sweet, hey
how is your dad doing?

Business good?
- He's doing all right,

as long as people keep dying.

- Wait what's that

supposed to mean?
- My dad's a mortician.

When we were kids, we used
to play around in there,

like Dr. Frankenstein.

- That sounds really creepy.

- [Lehman] Ah, we didn't know
any better we were just kids.

- [Sunny] No, there was
this one time though man,

night stalker, remember him?

- Yeah.
- Oh yeah, I almost

forgot about that, that freaked me out.

- [Sunny] Anyway yeah, so, eh--

- Sounds like (groans raspberry).

It all escapes.


- Hey man, you were such a
chicken shit, you know that.

I mean I remember what you
said to me, you know, Lehman?

Where is he?

- He was here like a second ago.

H-H-He stopped to tie his shoes.


- Lehman?


- Don't worry about it look,

I'm gonna go back and look
for him, all right guys?

- No no no no, I think we should all go.

It's getting dark and I
don't want to wait around.

- I agree.

- Let's go back,

because personally, I
think he's messing with us.

- What a putz...

- Shh, here we go again.

(foreboding music)
(birds chirping)

- [Billy] Hey guys check it out.

- Oh god!

Oh, oh god...

- Heidi don't worry okay,
we're gonna find him.

- Yeah just relax Heidi, he
pulls this shit all the time.

- Why don't we chill here for a minute.

- Lehman!


Stop screwing around.

Come on you guys you know how he is.

- Sh sh sh sh sh...

He's screwing around.
(strained shouting)

Did you guys hear that?

- Come on out lay man.

He hates that, we used to
call him that in high school.

Look he'll come running
out any second now.

(strained shouting)
(ominous music)


(strained shouting)

- I don't think that's Lehman, guys.

(leaves rustling)

- Heidi, no!




- Heidi, Heidi!


- Heidi, stop!

(Heidi whimpering)

- Heidi!

(Heidi screaming)

- [Johnny] Heidi!



- (screams) No!

- Stop, just stop it!

Stop it!
- Oh, hey guys what's up,

I'm glad I found you!

- You dick, you're sick!

How could you do this to me?

- Dick?
- What are you brain dead?

You scared the shit out of her!

- Whoa-oh-oh, kick back Tyson,
what are you talking about?

- (pants) Where was he?

- You're right Billy it was him!

- You're all whacked, I'm not having fun,

I want to go home!

- My lungs are on fire!

- (sighs) Just wait a damn minute here!

- Wait for what?

You keep pulling this shit somebody's

gonna get hurt, Lehman!

- It's too late.

(winces) I sprained my ankle.

- See?

- Are you okay my little bud?

- Such a shit head man.

- I can't believe this,
what are you blaming me for,

I didn't do anything!

- That's bullshit!

Leaving your pack in
the middle of the path

knowing we'd stumble across it

and go looking for your sorry ass?

The whole time you're
fucking (moist smacking),

jacking off in the woods?

We talked about this Lehman,

you promised me you
wouldn't pull this shit!

- And I didn't!

I bent down to tie my
show, I saw a rabbit!

- Oh please!

- I swear you guys!

I took off my pack and went after it!

I-I started going in the other direction,

and I got all turned around and shit,

I thought I lost you guys!

I wasn't playing around though, I mean it!

I, just wanted to surprise everyone,

figured we'd have rabbit for dinner.

- A rabbit?

How could you even catch a rabbit Lehman?

The growling, grr, that
was a real nice touch!

- I swear it.


Guys, listen, I didn't do anything, okay?

Now while I was out there I,

I think I saw a cabin or something over in

that area over there,
we should check it out.

We need to keep warm and Sunny
needs to put her foot up.

- Let's just get our packs.

- Hey squeeze, you okay?

- Yeah.


I'm sorry.

- Sh...

(foreboding music)

- Ah!
- Cool!

(crickets chirping)

Wow this is funky!

- Yeah,

this is killer!

- Hey, Lehman, if there is anybody

living here they're probably
asleep, come on let's go.

- Nah I don't think anyone lives here,

it looks deserted.
(ominous music)

Check it out, it's got a fireplace!

- I don't think we

should go in.
- Oh come on,

we got nothing to worry about.

I'm just gonna sneak a little peak, okay?

(ominous music)


All right, who's coming with me?

- I'll go.

- Be careful.

- Oh god, would you
quit that, so dramatic!

Look, I say we crash out here and just

leave first thing in
the morning, all right?

- Hey Billy toss me your light.

(owl hooting)


- Shit!
- Shit,

what the hell was that?

(crow cawing)

- I don't know.

I think I got pudding in my wares.

- I'm sorry you guys but
I've had enough of this shit!

You can just get in there
and get it over with!

- Ooh, sassy, I love it
when you're like that baby!

(mumbles) fire, come on then!

Go on!

(packs rustling)

- What do you think?
(tense poignant music)


I don't think anybody lives here.

- Ooh...
- Ah sweet!

- [Johnny] Hey Lehman, check
it out, looks like blood.

- Probably animal blood.

(mumbles) these people were trappers.

Ain't no thing but a chicken on a string.

- Hey, don't say chicken.

- Right.

- Hey, sorry going, sorry
for going off on 'ya

out there man that was uncool, you know.

- Don't worry about it bro it's cool.

- Yeah?

(foreboding music)

- [Lehman] Let's go tell
'em this place is all empty.

- Yeah.

Oh hey, check this out.


Just kidding it's empty.

- Sweet fireplace!

I think we should just
chill here for the night.

She gotta put that foot up.
- Yeah sounds good,

my foot is killing me you guys.

- [Billy] Okay, I'm in.

- [Lehman] Babe?

- [Heidi] Yeah, okay
Lehman, but you don't--

- [Lehman] I swear, I'll
keep you comfy cozy.

- [Kate] All right, what
do you guys, (mumbles),

what if the someone comes home?

- [Leahman] Oh it's dead in
there, no one lives there.

And if someone does come home,

well then we'll just deal with it.

- [Johnny] You guys, I'm
gonna go look for some wood,

we can have a campfire.
- Kickin' good idea!

- I'll go with you.
- Oh good.


- Good Billy.
- Thanks.

- [Sunny] (mumbles)
break out the lanterns.

- I think she's nice, she's insecure.

She's got all this deep rooted pain,

you know did you see how she
panicked, that's not normal,

I think that her pain--
- Stop it, stop it!

You said you'd leave your work at home,

no, no psychoanalyzing anybody,

no probing into people's issues.

- [Kate] What are you so upset about?

(insects chittering)

- I'm just a little on edge.

- [Kate] Why?

- Well gee I don't know Kate, I mean,

normally you tell me when
you go to the doctor's.

This morning Dr.
Binderman leaves a message

on the machine saying
something about test results.

(chuckles) What's that about Kate?

(owl hooting)


- Oh God.

- Oh, oh god what?

W-W-What are the results about, Kate?

- I, I was just having some
blood work done, that's all.

- For what?

- Well, I don't know if I was,

ready to tell you.

- (chuckles) Oh yeah.

Now you have to tell me, come
on, what's going on Kate?

- Johnny I just, I wanted to be sure

before I said anything.

- Well are you going to tell me?

Kate come on you're
scaring the shit out of me.

(wood clattering)

What's going on baby, is everything okay?

You sick?

- Only in the mornings.


- You're pregnant?

- Well it's not 100% sure
yet but it's pretty close.

- Oh thank god, that's uh this is amazing!

- Are you mad?
- No.

- I'm sorry.
- No don't be sorry,

that's crazy, I'm just
glad you're all right.

This is beautiful man!

- Really?

- Yeah.
- You're okay with it?

- Yeah!

Well I (sighs),

it's a little sooner than
I expected but, yeah, yeah.

Shit I need a cigarette!

- You know you're gonna
have to smoke outside

after the baby comes.

- (sighs) That sounds so weird,

doesn't it?
- (giggles) Yeah.

- Oh my god you're pregnant!

Come here.

(serene music)

(lips smacking)
I love you baby.

(fire crackling)
(crickets chirping)

- (sighs) That wasn't half bad.

- Well yay it wasn't half good either.

- I liked it, it sorta tasted like,

uh rabbit.
- Really.

- Kate, you want to tell 'em?

- Well,

me and Johnny are gonna have a baby.

- Hmm?
- You're pregnant?

That's (mumbles).
- Wow...

- Oh my god!
- All right, (mumbles) bro!


- Thanks man.
- That's big time!

Did you hear that?

Oh shit!
- Baby, I'm (giggles)...

- You okay?

Okay, for this special occasion,

I want Billy to read his
new poem, it is thick man!

- Oh, okay.

- Sorry baby, (mumbles).

(lips smacking)
- Okay I'm gonna go

freshen up.

- This doesn't have a title.

- Say it loud enough so I can hear, okay?

I'll leave the door open.

(serene music)
- If only I could set free,

that which is written
upon my heart's soul,

weeping favors held close to my bosom,

for it is where all of
life's tragedies converge.

Fear not the pondering dualities of life,

those of which are summoned against you.

You can and will conquer
the forces that one has

to face, as the focus
(ominous music)

of your eyes and the (mumbles),

are mirrored upon you.

You are vulnerable, and
they are one in the same.

Relinquish the things you most cherish,

as death is the beholder of
all truths in your nakedness.

Death only knows, what
its victims last see.

The purity of life however,
rises above the demiser,

the forsaker of breath,

putting the rest, the spinning thoughts,

the robber of moments, if
only they were let go of,

to trail behind, like grains of dark sand,

to bid them, an ado.

- I don't know what
the hell you just said,

but it made me real horny!



What the...

- You guys, guys, you guys!

- Heidi!
(ominous music)

(suspenseful music)


- Oh, god.


Oh, oh, I'm sorry baby but,

that was just a ridiculous scream.

- Wow, this is beginning

to be quite a trip.

(throat clearing)
- Are you okay?

- (sighs) Oh, yeah, (mumbles)
Lehman baby just please

get it out of here!
(mouse squeaking)

- Dessert anyone?

- Eww.

- (chuckles) All right,
come on little guy.

(door thumping)
(ominous music)

Here you go little fella.


- Yay.

- [Heidi] (sighs) Thank you baby.

- Oh thank you, for this!

I'm about to plode!

- I'm so sorry about that you guys,

I just, I'm really scared of mice.


- Hey you guys, we're gonna
uh, take a little walk,

so don't wait up, okay?

(crickets chirping)
(fire crackling)



- Would you just help me
inside, just help me inside,

I'm freaking out out here.

(feet scuffling)

- Are you okay?

You know, with what happened
before we found the cabin?

- Yeah I'm fine.

I had a very emotional experience

in a forest when I was younger.

Sometimes it still haunts me.

- Do you want to talk about it?

- Not really, do you mind?

I just want to enjoy the moment with you,

not go there right now.

- Sure.

- Hey Sunny how's your foot?

Can I get you anything?

- No, I'm fine, thanks.

I mean it hurts but I'm cool.

- Guys want to tell uh, scary stories?

- No, that's so typical.

- Yeah that's exactly what
everybody else would do.

I mean it's so perfect with the candles,

and the fire.
- Well maybe just one.

- Yeah, yeah (giggles)!

Oh this is fun, I wish we had smores!

- Okay Billy, you got a good story for us?

- Well, no not really.

- [Sunny] Then why'd you bring it up then?

- Well I would like to hear someone else

tell a story for a change.

- I've got one.

- Uh oh this is gonna be good.

When he talks like that.

- It's about this guy,

calls himself the Empty Man.

- Wooh shit I'm scared already.

- He's an EMT, emergency
medical technician,

killed 27 people.

- How?

- Well, it all started
when his, fiancee dies,

the love of his life, right?

She needed a new heart and
there were no organ donors.

So anyway, her death not only causes him

to go completely insane,
but it spawned this,

incredible hatred, towards non-donors.

Took him like a year and a half before he

finally went back to work.

(tense music)

And that's when his quiet massacre began.

- [Billy] Why, I mean, what was his trip?

- [Johnny] Well I already told you he

was an EMT, right?

He would show up on the
scene of an accident,

and he'd, go through their stuff

and find their ID, and he'd check for that

little, pink dot.
- The donor sticker.

- Right.

These people are still alive, right?

Well if they had that little
pink dot they'd stay that way.

But if they didn't, he'd take one out

and put it on it.
- Shit!

That's gnarly!

- Remember he's got a partner so he's

gotta be really careful right?

So what he does, is he gets an empty

hypodermic needle, and he injects it

into their neck, which
causes air to go into

the blood stream, makes the heart go into

cardiac arrest, okay?

So then, he tries to CPR,

he's rubbing defibrillator paddles,

trying all that, all just for show.

- Wow.

- Yeah.

So anyway, his partner starts
to get suspicious, okay?

I mean, month after month,

people are dying of injuries
that are not that serious,

so, the authorities
start an investigation.

They exhume the bodies, of all the people

that died in his care.

Every single one of
them, had a puncture mark

from a hypodermic needle and,

their hearts were torn out.

And he confesses to 17 murders,
all from accident victims.

And get this, 10 more, all of them women.

And when they go to his house,

they find buckets of dried cement

with chopped up body parts.

He's also got this little fish tank,

but there's no little fishies
swimming around in there,

it's filled with formaldehyde,

and it's floating 27 hearts.

- Wow.

Well they can't say he
was a heartless bastard.

- That's psychotic.


- Strange.

Why the Empty Man?

- Well, he was an EMT.

E, plus M, hypen T, EMT

M-T, M-T, right?

When his fiance died, he said
he just felt empty inside.

Thus the Empty Man.

- It's sad and gruesome at the same time.

- Strange.

I mean he probably saved some lives

as a result of the murders.

- Irony melts like cold
hot steel this evening.

- Isn't that an oxymoron?


- No.

It's actually beginnings
of a new piece of work.

That's what this is!

- Ooh my baby's gonna create,

give birth to a new piece of art!

Like you guys!

I'm so happy for you guys.

Well, I'm tired you guys,
I go sleepy, night-night!

(lips smacking)

(crickets chirping)

- When I was growing up,

my father and I had, a
special place we would go.

This is back home in Michigan.

It was a forest, like out of a fairy tale,

a beautiful magical
place, he loved it there.

One day when we were out there,

he told me he'd have
to be going away soon.

He told me that he had cancer.

A week later when he disappeared

I knew in my heart where I'd find him.

I went, out to our spot, and found him

laying on his favorite blanket,

with an empty bottle of Seconals.

After they took him away, (sighs),

I sat there for hours,

and told him everything I
ever wanted to tell him.



I understood, he didn't
want to wither away.

He had a lot of pride.


I never went out there again.

That's why it's weird
for me being out here.

He was my best friend.

- I'm so sorry, he had...

- I learned one thing from all of that.

- What?

- That everything is temporary.

No matter how you try
to keep things the same,

they grow, and evolve,
into something else.

I'm sorry, I know I'm
getting all heavy on you.

- Hey, I can handle anything.

The only thing I can't
handle, is my bladder.

My teeth are floating,

would you excuse me for a minute?

(lips smacking)

- Put your shoes on I
don't want you to get hurt.

- Oh, look at that,
getting all maternal on me!



Be right back.

- Okay.
(lips smacking)

(serene music)

(foreboding music)

(static hissing)
- Sheriff this is Kevin, over!

(static whistling)

Sheriff, this is, dammit!

(ominous music)
(crickets chirping)

(leaves rustling)

(tense music)



- Oh, I just had the scariest dream!

(ominous music)

(wet snapping)

(paper rustling)
- What are we doing here...

(mumbles) up to here...

Or is this?

(car rumbling)

(crickets chirping)

(sighing) Oh, man, I feel better.




Look at you.

You're so beautiful.

(lips smacking)

(ominous music)

What the...


(tense music)

(leaves rustling)

(strained shouting)

(dramatic music)

- You know what I'd like to do?

- What?

- I'd like to take you on a trip.

- That's what we're doing.

- No, no I mean, just you
and me, just the two of us.

- Where do you want to go?

- I don't know, somewhere exciting

and adventurous like
uh, Barstow (chuckles).

No like uh, Bali or Prague,

maybe down the Mississippi.
(lighter clicking)



Can you take that outside?

I don't want you to smoke out Kate,

with the baby, you know.

- I'm sorry I, I wasn't thinking.

- No no that's cool.

- Don't wait up for me you guys,

it's sh, you know it's
all cooking up here.

- Goodnight bro.
- Goodnight.

- See ya later.

(ominous music)

(frantic music)

(footsteps rustling)
(crickets chirping)

(owl hooting)

(ominous music)

(lamp hissing)

(sighs) The trees run wild
there in the darkness.

She lay before me, or lay (mumbles)...

Stood there with my beating heart.

(hinges creaking)



(brooding music)

(foreboding music)

(mysterious music)

(faint creaking)
(suspenseful music)



(dramatic music)



- Did you hear that?

- What's that sweetheart?

- Hmm, I heard a noise, (sniffs), uh...

Ah, it's already 2:30.

I wonder where Lehman and Heidi are.

I'm gonna go see if they're okay.

(lips smacking)
- Hurry back,

I want you to cuddle up with me.

- Okay baby, (mumbles).

(crickets chirping)


Lehman and Heidi!

Where are you guys!

(frantic music)

(siren wailing)

- (gasps) He's coming!

- Whoa whoa whoa whoa buddy,

back off, back from the car!

- Something you don't understand!

- Back from the car!

- He's gonna fucking kill me,
- No, no!

Back off, back off!
- Heidi's dead, (mumbles),

give me that gun!
- No!


Oh (mumbles)!

What the hell's going on tonight?


- Lehman and Heidi!

(leaves rustling)
(crickets chirping)

Where are you guys?

Come on you guys it's getting cold,

it's like, 2:30 in the morning!


Where's Lehman?

Heidi, wake up!
(ominous music)

Oh uh, fuck!

Lehman, Lehman!

Lehman, oh my god!



(metallic snapping)


Ah, ah, ah, ah!

(gasps) Kate!



- Johnny?

- What's going on?

- I don't know I just heard Johnny scream,

look, stay here I'll be right back!

- Kate, be careful!

- [Johnny] Ah!

- Baby?
- Kate!

- Baby where are you?

- [Johnny] Kate!

- Johnny where are you?

- Kate I'm over here!

(Johnny grunting)
(ominous music)

- Johnny!

(Johnny wincing)
What happened, what's wrong?

Oh no my god, honey, no!

What do I do?
- Get something to pry it off!

- Okay!

- How did this happen to you?

- Get it off!

(energetic groaning)
(metallic rattling)

- I'm sorry!
- Billy?

(ominous music)

- I'm sorry!
- Oh my god, Billy!



- Johnny (sobs)!

Johnny what's happening?

Oh my god (sobs)!

- Get it off me Kate!

(door thudding)

Get it off of me!

Get it off me Kate!
- I'm trying!


- (mumbles) we're
- Johnny!

- gonna die!

Get it off!

- No I can't!

- Run Kate!
(Kate sobbing)

Run, run, run!
- No, can't, no--

No, no, no, no, no!



- Well that is quite a story.

- We've got to get back out there

before my friends get killed!

You think I'm lying?

Look at me, would I do this to myself?

- Anything's possible.

Then why'd you go for my gun?

- I told you I was in shock,

that guy was gonna fucking kill me!

- We don't need to talk like that okay?

- I don't give a shit we
need to get back out there!

- Listen to me, let me explain
something for a second okay?

Things like this just
don't happen in this town.

Just let me think!

(crickets chirping)
(ominous music)





- Please!

Please don't hurt me (sobs)!


Why are you doing this?
- We're not to mix

(tense music)
with the outside world.

Nobody knows about us out here,

nobody ever will.

Ours will be a hard life but,

but it's so very worth it.

(foreboding music)

Can you maybe take this off?

- Okay.

All right I want you to put
your hands through the bars.

- Please I swear to god
I'm telling you the truth!

- And this is all real hard to swallow.

And I'm shaking inside
because I got a real

bad feeling about this,
and if I don't cuff you,

and you do something stupid,

I might just blow your head off

then we'd both be sorry.

So put your hands through the bars!

- It's hurting me!



Where are we?

(tense music)

Underneath the cabin?

(foreboding music)

Oh god!

(car rumbling)

- It's about to be light.

You know you're running out of time.

- You gotta keep driving.

You gotta keep driving,
you don't understand,

these are my best friends!

(tense music)

- Is, my boyfriend outside okay?

I mean, is he hurt?


Maybe I could, just go
outside and check on him.

I mean (sighs),

(foreboding music)


W-would you let me do that?

P-Please don't do this!

Okay, okay, it's okay!

But why are you doing this?

Why are you doing this, why?

Oh my god, (screams)!

- Mother fucker!

(dramatic music)

Are okay baby, are you okay,

are you okay?


He's dead, he's dead!

Let's go!
- Okay.

- Let's go!

(Kate whimpering)
(Johnny grunting)

(gravel crunching)
(crickets chirping)

- Are you okay?


(grunts) Johnny!

- Get help, Kate get help!

Get the keys, they're in the cabin, okay?

Check on Sunny.
(ominous music)

Oh god, I'm in bad shape baby!

- [Kate] (sobs) Who is that
guy who, what's going on?

- I don't know, I don't know,

I don't know.


Go baby!
- Johnny come on!

- No, uh I can't make it!

- No you have to (mumbles)!
- Go, go by (mumbling)

Get to the road, (mumbles)...
- Johnny I'm not leaving you!

- Baby you have to make it!

I love you, go!


Run Kate run!


(dramatic music)

(ominous music)


Oh no, oh no, oh no...


(metallic snapping)

- It's about to be light,

I'm gonna take you back in, I hope

you got a good lawyer.

- Please, I'm telling you it's ga--

There it is, there's my truck!

- I see it, I see it!

All right, I want you to stay here.

- No what do you mean,
I gotta go with you!

- All right then, at least
you know where the cabin is,

there's no use wasting any more time.

(door clattering)
All right come on.

- Let me out, you gotta help me out!

(crickets chirping)
(birds chirping)

(door clicking)

All right it's just over here!
(door thudding)

(ominous music)

(wooden creaking)

- What the...
- Oh shit!

(foreboding music)

Hey you gotta take these off me now.

- Shh!
- What do you mean, shh?

He's gonna kill us, I--
- Shut up, I'm not

playing with you okay?

You go!
- Oh son of a...

(wooden creaking)

(hinges creaking)

- [Kevin] Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Oh god help us!


(suspenseful music)

(wet thudding)

(eerie dramatic music)
(wet thudding)

(birds chirping)
(wet thudding)

(eerie mysterious music)

(suspenseful music)

(eerie dramatic music)

(vigorous rock music)

(poignant mysterious music)