A Christmas Cancellation (2020) - full transcript
The fictional characters in a popular sitcom wake up to the realization that they're not real - and the show is ending. Now, with CANCELLATION approaching, they must find a way to keep the show going or they will cease to exist.
- Okay.
What is life?
Is all that we seem but
a dream within a dream?
Man is a giddy thing, that you
have such power in your minds
as to create life out
of shadows and words,
and when we end, you will remember us
like old friends you used
to know, but time forgot.
And so, on behalf of the leading man,
the funny friend, the sarcastic roommate,
the quiet one, and the love interest.
Thank you for making us alive.
- I'm Benny.
- And I'm Bea.
- And after a high school romance,
we went our separate ways.
- But when we both answered the same ad.
- To rent a house in the suburbs.
- We used that chance to get
the whole gang back together.
- Living with your friends
can get a little weird.
- But if we can survive this bunch.
- Then maybe.
- Just maybe.
- We were meant to be.
- We were meant to be.
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap, Richie.
I need to decorate.
I have all these wreaths.
- Look, I used to do this all the time.
It was fun.
- Fine.
Zap.
- It's zip.
- I don't get this.
- What's not to get?
You say zip, I say zap,
you say zop, then repeat.
If you mess up, you're out.
Easy.
It's not like it's Risk.
- I hate Risk.
Okay, I have to put these up.
- Wait, hold on.
- Richie, you're the one
who keeps reminding us
that there's only two
weeks until Christmas.
I'm trying to get ready.
- But we were talking about Risk.
- I prefer Life.
- The game, Life.
- Uh-huh.
- Monopoly-lite?
- Yeah.
- Pink and blue peg, wheel spinney.
Let's pretend we have insurance Life?
- It's so cute.
It's like you're a little pink peg.
And then, along comes a blue manly peg,
and he sweeps you away in
your little plastic car
and you go to the farm and
have your little plastic kids.
- See, this is why I like Risk.
Seize the day, boys.
Or zip, zap, zop.
Live in the moment.
- Not me and Benny.
We have a destiny.
- Gross.
Where is old Benny blue peg, anyway?
- Fixing the video game.
- Is he okay?
He only does that when he's wigging out.
- I know.
I think he's planning something.
- With the video game?
- With me.
I thought you were the smart one.
- That's Maggie.
I'm the funny friend.
- No, no, no, no.
Maggie is the sarcastic roommate.
I guess that makes me the smart one.
- You're the love interest.
- Gee.
Thanks.
Does that make Benny the leading man?
- He's definitely not the smart one.
- Then, who's the smart one?
- I don't know.
Claude?
You need to go decorate.
We only have-
- I know, two weeks.
Okay.
I'm off.
- Uncle Ratty is dead?
As in, dead-dead?
- The only kind of dead there is.
- Fair.
I never got to meet him.
- Neither did I.
Years ago, I gave him a kidney.
- A kidney.
Like, one of yours?
- He needed a kidney.
I had two, so I gave him one.
What's the problem?
- I didn't know that.
- Claude, I have a scar.
- Huh?
- That's why he let us live
in this house so cheap.
- Oh, well then, I'm gonna miss him.
- Yeah well, you won't have to.
We're in his will.
- We are?
- Yup.
And me, a little more.
- Holy crap.
That's.
That's us?
- Mm hm.
All ours now.
The money, the mansion.
The horse farm.
- In Alaska.
Where they farm horses.
- Benny's gonna freak.
- Richie's gonna freak.
- Richie is a freak.
What about Bea?
- Bea's cool.
- Coming through.
- Except at Christmas.
- Yeah, I take that back.
Not cool at all.
- Don't tell them.
- Oh yeah.
No, I won't. - Tell us what?
- Don't-
- What a great job you're
doing decorating the house.
- Yeah, we can't tell you that.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
♪ I've two more wreaths
to find spots for ♪
- So.
So, that's how many now total?
- 117, 18, 19.
- Oh, that's-
- Yeah, 120 would be good though.
- It would be, but I think we're good.
- Yeah?
- With what we have.
Maybe even less.
- No, no.
- No, you're right.
- No, less is never the answer.
It's always more, more, more.
- Yeah, more, definitely.
- Well, I mean, sometimes,
maybe less is more.
- Yes.
Do you think she'd notice if
we took some of them down?
- Guys.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Let's go see what.
- Okay.
- I know what this is about.
- I've almost got it.
- He'll never get it.
- Sh.
- You've been trying to fix
that old things since you got it.
- I will not be discouraged by you.
Right, Bea?
- Sure, honey.
- You got to do that now?
- Perfect.
Okay, sweetie, you have it.
- Here we go.
Ta-dah.
Crap on a stick.
- You'll get it one day.
- What?
Wait.
Actually, I kind of had
something in mind for tonight.
- Really?
Tonight?
- Claude.
- Now?
- Now.
- Almost got it.
- Wait, where's Richie?
- Richie.
- I want everyone to be here for this.
- Benny.
- It's Richie time.
- Hey, Rich.
- What's up best friend?
- Ask Benny.
- Okay.
Everyone.
Claude.
- Oh yeah.
- Bea.
- Oh my Lord.
- No.
- I love you, Bea.
I always have.
- No way.
- And I couldn't imagine
my life without you.
And that's why.
- Fine.
Christmas movie marathon.
I'm so sorry.
- Richie.
- Do you think you're real?
- What is this?
- How well do you know sitcoms?
Benny has 100 Christmas movies
for us to watch downstairs
and he's got the remote in his pocket.
- That was weird.
- I love you and I know how
much you love the holidays.
- There's only a few
weeks left 'til Christmas.
- I'm gonna go pop some corn.
- And I brought some corn for popping.
- But no eggnog.
You know I hate eggnog.
- I know.
- Are you excited?
- Benny, I don't know what's happening.
I thought you were-
- Let's start with "Home Alone".
Ah.
- But I thought you
were making the eggnog.
- You're right, great idea.
I love eggnog.
- No, you don't.
- No, I don't.
I hate eggnog.
And sometimes, I love it.
Weird.
I don't feel good.
- Yes, you do.
You just want to go make eggnog.
- Yes, I do.
I'm gonna go make some eggnog.
- Benny wait.
Stop.
- Bea.
How did you?
- Bea, are you okay?
- I need a minute.
- What did you?
How did you? - I said, back off.
- Okay Bea, it was just a joke.
Richie time is crazy.
Peace out, girl scout.
- What the hell is he doing?
- Richie?
Who knows?
Eggnog?
- Please.
This is elaborate, even for him.
- I'm not sure what you mean.
- Seriously?
- Here, try this.
- Oh, that's strong.
And you like this now?
- Yeah, I know.
I can't seem to get it right.
- Did you help him set this up?
- He's usually the funny one, right?
- He gave me a toilet.
- See?
That's not normal.
- Like that.
How is he doing that?
- I'm lost.
- Benny.
About the surprise.
Can we just say it?
You were gonna propose, right?
I mean, just tell me if I'm wrong, okay,
and if I'm being stupid and all.
- Yes.
And, you know, I don't know
what happened with the movies.
Look, I blew it.
- I could never stay mad at you.
- I love you.
- Aw.
- Okay, enough.
- Okay.
Not what I was expecting.
- I'm sorry, Richie's stupid joke.
- Richie?
- I think he wanted to stop you from-
- Proposing?
Richie?
- I know.
It's crazy, right?
- You know what?
This is our time.
- So, let's say that nobody,
not even someone that you've
known since you were 12,
gets to be here in this space.
- That's nice.
I wasn't not surprised.
- Oh.
So, I can still surprise you.
- Aw.
- Richie.
- And we're back to Richie.
- It's like he hid speakers or something.
- Let's keep this on us.
- I'm just having a really weird day.
- So, let's have it together, you and me.
I do love you.
- Aw.
- Okay, we get it.
- Excuse me.
- You don't hear that?
- I said, I love you.
- Aw.
- Richie.
- That's it.
- No, I am.
- I don't know what you're
thinking about, Bea,
but it's clearly not this.
- Ben.
- No.
Let's talk to Richie.
That sounds great.
Hey Richie.
Richie.
Come down here.
- Stop this.
- Stop what?
We're just gonna have a little talk.
- Oh, it's Richie time.
Woo.
- Richie, turn it off.
- Just the man I wanted to see.
What's the deal, Rich, Huh?
- What is that?
Richie, make it stop.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
Just come upstairs.
I can explain.
- No, explain here.
Explain to all of us.
- We're doing this?
- Yup.
- But you look so dizzy.
- What's that mean?
Oh.
- Benny.
- That was weird.
- This isn't over, Rich.
- It looks like it is.
- I said, stop this.
- I got this.
- Stop.
- Did you see that?
- I saw that.
- How are you doing this?
- How are you doing this?
- You need to come upstairs.
- Benny.
- Just go, Bea.
- Once we go in this
door, everything changes.
Everything.
- This is the bathroom.
And it's locked.
- Welcome to nowhere.
Do you need to sit?
- This isn't the bathroom.
- Until right now, this was the only place
that was like this.
Until today, until you.
- This is some sort of office.
Did you change it?
- Did I change reality black and white?
Not today, no.
- You're playing some kind of trick.
- Okay, pop quiz.
Do you remember our high school?
- Down at River.
- Fine, but I
bet you dollars to donuts
you don't remember anyone there, but me.
No teachers, no students, no relatives.
- You're not.
What the?
- It gets weirder.
My first memories are in this house.
Anything before that, I remember facts,
but nothing of substance.
No details.
Nothing.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I do, I do.
- Tell me I'm wrong, please.
- No, I do.
Hold on.
Hold on.
No.
No what is?
Holy.
What was that?
- Take a breath.
Best I can tell you, me, Benny, Maggie,
and Claude came to life
when we moved in here.
- Came to life?
- Started our existence in this.
Suburbia.
It's a TV show and I think
you and Benny are the stars.
Maybe, just maybe.
They were meant to be.
- You're crazy, Richie.
Grade A.
- Okay, the laugh-track.
You heard it, right?
- The what?
- We make funny, the audience laughs.
It's like a sitcom.
- I don't know what I heard.
- We can't curse.
Family show.
I heard it for the first time
about a month ago with the plumber.
I tried to go check the bathroom
and then this office, a writer's
office and we're the story.
- Stop this.
- They never show the
bathroom in a family show.
That's what Suburbia is.
- What is that?
- The name of the show.
Read the script.
We are not real.
We're living in a fictional reality
and only you and I know it.
- You need help.
You need to go to a hospital
or something. - It gets worse.
- We're done here.
- You need to listen to me.
- I said, we're done.
- We're gonna die.
Look.
This is the plan for the end of the story.
Series finale, final episodes.
You and Benny go off and then that's it.
No more show, no more us.
If you could just do what you did.
- What did I do, huh?
I don't know what I heard,
but it sure as hell wasn't
some other worldly audience.
I am real.
I can feel, I can think, and so can you.
So, just stop.
- Bea.
- Don't ever do this again.
- You know, I think
when we move to Alaska,
it'll be legal for us to adopt a wolf.
- You think so?
- Yeah, I think
they have like wolf rescues.
- And do you want that?
You want a wolf?
- Yeah, I want several.
- Outside.
- We are not doing this when we move.
- Oh, I know.
We'll have lots more.
- That's how you
get Christmas tree mites.
- That's not a thing.
Don't scare me.
- They're bed bugs.
They just move to the tree.
- No.
Seriously?
- Maybe not Christmas,
but Halloween all year?
- I like that.
- Right?
- Benny.
Benny.
Benny, can we talk?
- Talk?
- You were really mad.
- You think?
Why don't you ask Richie about it?
- You told me to go.
- You wanted to.
- Can you please stop playing?
- Why?
- Because it's rude.
- Fine.
I'm not playing.
- Thank you.
You were gonna fight Richie.
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.
- Yes, I was.
- Who does that?
You don't go from kissy-kiss
to fighty time under a minute.
- I don't get this.
I don't understand what's going on.
- I don't either.
- With you and Richie.
- Oh.
Nothing, except.
Really, nothing.
Benny, when everything you know is wrong,
how do you adapt to that?
- You feel this is wrong?
- No.
Were you even listening?
I'm all mixed up.
Benny, look.
Do you remember your old high school?
- Yeah, you're mixed up.
- No, seriously.
Do you remember?
- Yeah, I heard you.
- I'm doing this wrong.
- Darn straight.
- I can't do this.
- You can't do what?
Bea, you're not making any sense.
- I can't do this right now.
- Ooh.
- Stop it.
What now?
- Bea, Benny.
- Something's happening.
- Okay, they're here.
- Okay.
- What is this?
- I have good news.
- And bad news.
- What happened?
- Uncle Ratty died.
- Oh, Maggie.
- I don't care.
I gave him a kidney.
It's not like I knew him.
- She's so cuddly.
- You gave him a kidney?
- Fine, I do care but, you know?
Anyways, look.
He had a will and we were all in it.
- Oh.
- Oh boy.
- Short version, Claude and I, we get-
- Holy crap.
- That's what I said.
- Best part.
He left you three the house
for when we move to Alaska.
- Oh my goodness.
- But you guys are leaving.
- We thought you could
sell it, split the cash.
- Why would we want to do that?
- Be kind of weird, don't you think?
Just you three.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Clearly.
- Yo.
Stupids.
You just got a house.
Stop being so grumpy.
Now, Claude and I are going downstairs
to break out the good booze.
And when we get back, you're gonna be okay
or so help me God, I will cut you.
- Ooh.
- She will.
- This is exhausting.
- Benny.
- Suddenly our things
seemed kind of small.
I mean, if we sold this house.
- Yeah, we
can get our own places.
- I think that's probably best.
- Benny, Richie.
Come on.
- We can't fake this anymore, Bea.
- What does that mean?
- We can't even have this?
- No.
- I don't think I like that guy.
- Benny, please, I need
you to come upstairs.
- I want to punch him in his stupid face.
- This is not helpful.
- I said, want to.
I didn't say I would.
- I need to go upstairs and so do you.
He's in the bathroom.
- Excuse me.
- Shut up.
- Shut up?
- Not you.
Please come with me.
- No.
- Yes, you want to.
- Okay.
Yeah, good idea.
- Good.
- No, wait.
- Benny, you got this.
Come on.
- What are you doing?
- Come on with me now.
- Get off of me.
What's wrong with you?
You know what?
Go up there.
You two are perfect for each other.
- Wait, wait.
I'm sorry, okay?
I can explain if you just-
- No, I don't think you can.
- You okay?
- It's Benny.
We need him to be a part of this.
- Do we?
- How can you say that?
He's your friend.
I just wish.
It was right there.
The house, our future.
- It's not real.
- It felt real.
For just a second, it felt real.
Did you see Maggie and Claude?
They were so happy.
- I wasn't looking at them.
- We cannot let this happen.
We do what we need to do.
We save them, all of them.
- You believe me?
- I have to.
I don't want to.
I have to die a little for it,
but I'm not gonna let the
people I love just end.
- Okay.
So, whoever this writer is,
he or she has got it all mapped out.
So, all of this is what's come before.
- Some of this is very personal.
It's creepy.
- You think that's creepy?
Check this out.
- Wow.
- And this is now.
- Engaged.
Maggie and Claude move, the end,
which means we all die.
- Or un-live or whatever.
- Okay so, we just don't do these things.
I don't get engaged.
Maggie and Claude stay.
We have all this.
Doesn't that give us an edge?
- I think you're the edge.
You stepped outside the show, Bea.
- I don't know how I did that.
- Okay.
Look, this room isn't
connected to the show.
It's a dead zone.
A bridge between us and whoever
is responsible for all this.
If you could just use
that and maybe reach out.
- I said I can't.
Believe me, I wish I could.
I don't know how.
- Okay.
We'll do it within the show,
but you're gonna have to learn the rules.
Okay.
Rule number one, we're
in a TV show, a comedy.
So, the audience trusts us.
Whatever we present as
a fact has to happen.
- That's like playing God.
Is what happened-
- With the proposal?
- Makes you a jerk, kinda.
- Won't be the last time.
How old is that eggnog?
- Benny just made it.
- So, it's perfectly fine.
- I don't get this.
- Okay.
Watch this.
He takes a sip.
All good, right?
Now, watch this.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Don't drink that.
This is a week old.
- I gotta go.
- I love the holidays.
I try to keep saying the
one liners, you know.
Keeping it fun.
Check this out.
- This is incredible.
- It changed.
Did you hear the bell?
- Yeah.
- An angel just got its wings.
- You're hilarious.
- Right?
It doesn't always work, though.
- I did it.
- You did.
But the thing is, it only works
if you believe it'll work.
- So, that's rule one.
- Rule two is harder.
Okay.
You're a part of a show.
You can't leave unless
the story wants you to.
You just can't.
Watch.
Open it.
This is fun, too.
- This is too much.
- You're still with me?
- Just.
Wow.
Go on.
- Okay.
This is the most important thing.
We can manipulate the
show, but not break it.
We can't jump the shark.
- I've heard of that.
- If we do that, the show dies.
Even if it takes a while.
- So, we got to hide that
we know that it's a show.
- It's got to stay secret.
We can't become something that we're not.
Before we do anything else.
Benny's playing heck point?
Oh man, I wish I could see that.
It's the bomb diggity.
Okay.
So.
It's Richie time?
Okay, we're safe.
- What was that all about?
- We're in an ensemble show.
So, as long as something more
interesting is happening,
the audience will follow it.
- Got it.
What about all this?
The way things look.
- Kind of hyper real?
- Almost cinematic.
- You've seen the truth
and you can't unsee it,
but you can jump back
in for a little while.
Look, close your eyes.
- Am I supposed to use the force?
- Don't make any jokes.
It'll bring them back.
- I feel silly.
- Just trust me.
Focus on your character.
The love interest, here
with the funny friend,
trying to make up with the leading man.
Go back to how it felt.
- Wow.
It's so bright, I never noticed.
- Kind of weird, right?
Doesn't it feel-
- Kind of unnatural.
Now, I just can't believe.
- It's hard to
hold, but you'll get better.
- This is nuts.
- Last thing, maybe the most important.
Let's go back in together.
Hey Bea, how much money did
you leave in your pocket?
- Like, $100.
- Yeah.
It's a shame that a meteor's
coming to destroy the world.
- What?
Richie, why would you say that?
Why would you do that?
- Wait for it.
- Have you guys seen this?
- That's right, Steve, this just in.
The meteor has been
diverted by a plucky crew
of space miners who have
sacrificed their lives for ours.
Why?
If it wasn't for them.
- What just happened?
- You can bend the rules,
Bea, not break them.
If you push the show too
hard, it pushes back.
Sometimes violently.
- What did you do?
- Shows like this, they
end in the summertime.
So I kept saying, it's almost
Christmas to keep it going.
- So, Christmas never gets here.
That's why I keep decorating
even though we have so much stuff.
- I pushed the show and it pushed back.
- Uncle Ratty.
- Uncle Ratty, Maggie
and Claude, the proposal.
- You caused this.
- Like I said, I'm sorry.
- It's just harder.
Not impossible.
We start with Maggie.
Claude will follow her.
- And if they're all on board?
- Benny will have to listen.
- Okay.
You're really good at this.
- You think you can keep
the audience on you?
- Hey.
It's Richie time.
- Oh Lord.
- Yeah, I know, right?
You don't look so good.
- I drank curds.
- Who'd do something so stupid?
- Geez, Rich.
- I'm gonna be sick.
- You know what makes me sick?
- Subtle hints?
- You're amazing.
Did you start the marathon without us?
- Someone had to.
I couldn't find Benny.
- Maggie, can I borrow you?
- Only if you pay interest.
You can afford that now.
- Lord, please.
- Nope.
You still look sick.
So.
Okay.
- Yep, I'm done.
- Maggie.
I'm just gonna sit here.
- Okay bud, I'm just
gonna mix up some stuff
and by the by, have you seen "Inception"?
- Holy hell.
- I know, right?
- Is this what?
Where's the bathroom?
- Maggie, I want you to keep an open mind
about what I'm about to tell you.
- You're freaking me out, Bea.
- It's the day for that.
Can you do that?
Keep an-
- Open mind.
Sure.
Okay.
- I'm sorry.
In advance.
- See, they're focused on the top,
which means the totem is still in play.
Therefore there's no way.
There's no way it's the real world.
- I didn't follow any of that.
- Claude's feeling better.
- I am.
That's weird.
You okay?
- No, I am.
I just feel a little.
Today's not going the way I.
I can't do this.
- Benny.
What is this?
- Look guys, this is tough.
- You're leaving?
He's leaving?
- Dammit, Bea, I wanted-
- What?
What did you want, Benny?
- Can we not do this right now?
- Hold on.
What did you want, Benny?
What did I do that was
so terrible that you-
- I wanted to marry you, Bea.
- I wanted that, too.
- Seriously?
- Fine.
Then come with me right now.
We'll work out the details later,
but I'm gonna walk out that door
and it's up to you if
you want to come with me.
- Are you kidding me with this?
- Richie, what do I do?
- I don't know.
- Richie, you're lucky
I don't tear you apart.
- I'm right here.
- Can we not?
I expected better.
- Well done, gentlemen, you
should feel really good.
- This is a conversation you
should be having with me.
Not Richie, me.
- He's in love with you, Bea.
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is.
- I'm not doing this.
I'm not gonna be some
sort of romantic pawn.
Do you hear me?
- Benny.
- Shut your mouth.
- This is not you, okay?
Think about it.
You wouldn't do this.
- I have thought about it a lot
and I don't know how things
got so messed up between us,
but they did and I can't stay.
- You gotta do the thing.
- Richie, I can't.
- You have to.
- Benny, you want to stay.
- No, I don't.
- I said you want to stay.
- You gotta believe it.
- Help me.
- I changed the locks.
- What?
- What?
- Yeah.
They're all locked and they won't open.
- Yeah.
All the doors are locked and broken.
- So, you can't leave, okay?
- That's bizarre.
- Oh, come on.
- It's fighting back.
- Look.
Just tell me everything's
going to be okay and I'll stay.
- I really want to.
- And she can.
Just tell him it's gonna be okay.
- I don't want to lie to him.
- I feel like I was supposed
to be mad right now, but I'm not.
I just.
I need to go.
- Dude, I'm begging you.
- Take care of her.
She's really special.
See ya.
- What is that?
- I don't know.
I've never seen that before.
- You said we couldn't leave.
- Unless the show wants you to.
- Well, this sucks.
- To be continued.
- The final episodes.
- What?
- No, no, no, no, no.
I knew we were near the end,
but I didn't think that-
- Didn't think what?
- We were this close.
- Close to what?
- Oh.
Are we all fictional
characters in a TV show?
Just, it kind of makes sense
when you think about it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- So, what is that?
- It's the final arc.
- How many episodes left?
- One, maybe two.
- Oh my God.
- Where's Benny?
- Wait.
Yeah, where is he? - He left.
- I need a drink.
- Don't drink the eggnog.
- So, what does this mean?
Are we dead?
Is this dead?
- How can we be dead?
We aren't even real.
How can we? - No, stop.
We're real.
I think therefore I am, I think.
- Claude's right.
We don't play this game.
Here, now, we are as real as anyone else.
We aren't nothing.
This is life.
This is real, okay?
- That was a really good speech.
- Now, we just got to
figure out a way not to die.
- Well, that's ominous.
- Two hours.
- 'Til what?
- 'Til we're on the air.
- Shouldn't it be a week?
- Not for us.
- So okay, first.
- We figure out how to-
- We get Benny onboard.
- Why?
He left.
- Because it's Benny.
How can you say that?
Why?
It was your idea.
- Okay.
First off, you two.
You got some next level
baggage you need to dump.
- Excuse me?
- Yeah, you guys really
need to put this to rest.
- Okay, okay.
We're fine.
We're totally okay.
- We are not okay.
You're in love with me.
- Well, hey, let's skip the foreplay.
- You are.
- Yes.
Yes, I am.
Are you?
In love with me, I mean?
- What do you want me to say, Richie?
- I don't know, yes.
- I can't.
- Because you're not.
- Up 'til today, all I
ever loved was Benny.
I didn't question that.
I don't even think I was supposed to.
And now, with all this.
- All this.
Are you not entertained?
I don't want to love you, Bea.
I just.
Do.
And I don't know if it's
because I'm supposed to
or not because I would love
you even if I didn't have to.
I don't know.
I can't wrap my head around it.
And someone needs a lesson
in modern gender roles.
- I do love you, though.
That's real.
If not that kind of love.
Whatever this is between us, this is good.
- Fair enough.
- If we're gonna do this,
we're gonna need everyone on board.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna need a plan and
hell of a lot of luck.
- Someone out there thought
us up, wrote us down,
unleashed us on the world and
sat back to see what happened.
Life and death literally lies
in whether we can tell the
story we were meant to tell,
but tell it our way,
because I promise you,
this is not where we end.
- Then, what can we do?
Because this seems pretty endy to me.
- The way I figure, we
have to force the show
into a situation where there
have to be more episodes.
- Yeah, but there are only two left, Bea.
How do we do that?
- Maybe one.
- Excuse me, what?
- Benny left the house.
- We can do whatever we want.
We just get him back.
- Just say, here comes
Benny and he's back?
- Richie?
- In theory.
- Cool.
- Fine.
Assuming that works and
assuming Benny's on board
and assuming we can
come up with something.
- We jump the shark.
- No the hell we don't.
- Isn't that the show killer thing?
- Yeah.
You change the show so much
that it never recovers.
- Yeah, but you said sometimes
it takes a long time.
Has that ever been like
a really long time?
- "Cheers", "E.R.", "The Walking Dead",
even "Happy Days" stayed on a while
after the actual shark
so yeah, it's possible.
But Bea, that's the
exception, not the rule.
- Until the very thing we're doing now
kills the show outright and we're dead.
What's the point?
- Yes.
It's a band-aid move.
I get it.
But it's a hell of a lot better
than dying in two episodes.
Does anyone have a better idea?
Anyone?
- We should go check the clock.
Oh boy.
- Look, do we
have a plan here or not?
- What is life?
Getting one day and
then getting another one
and then doing anything
you can to not die.
- Is that all life is?
Just saying.
If this is my last episode,
I don't want to be scraping
and fighting to survive.
It doesn't sound fun.
- So, you're saying we give up then.
- I don't think he's saying that.
You're not saying that, right?
- I think I am.
If this is all the time we got.
- Maybe we should live in it.
- No, we have to try.
We can't just die.
Not after finding out what we really are.
I can't believe that God or the universe
or these writers or
whatever are that evil.
- Do we know that?
Is that a thing that we know?
- I'm with Bea.
It.
And these guys
if they try to stop us.
- Fair point.
- We need a new story.
Something to keep us on the air
while we think of something so big
that they can't end the show.
- I got it.
A side plot.
A very special episode.
Funny guy battles addiction.
- That's up.
- They can't cancel the show
with something like that going on.
You see?
You got to outsmart them.
- Could work, though.
And we.
- We will have a problem with the will.
Can't move out yet.
- Shucks.
- Perfect.
I'll work on Benny.
Thank you.
All of you.
- We couldn't have done it without you.
You really stepped up.
What was that for?
- You deserve it.
- Bea.
- One minute.
- Ready.
- Claude?
- This is gonna work.
- This had better work.
- It will.
- 10 seconds.
- We believe in you.
- Once more into the breach.
- It's Richie time.
Oh, wait.
It's Richie time.
- Did you just go out of the room
and come back in just to say that?
- I sure did.
And I sure love this alcohol.
Whoa.
- Richie, isn't it early to be drinking?
- I can control it.
Maggie, do you have any
idea where Benny is?
Because I think it's
time that we settle this.
- Are you drunk?
- I can handle it, trust me.
Magpie.
Benny, any clues?
- Oh, no.
Sorry.
But I did just get an email saying.
- Saying that Uncle
Ratty may still be alive.
- Well, what about the will?
- Where there's a will, there's a way.
Because.
I just got a text that says
Benny might be back any minute.
- Oh.
Right.
Any minute.
- He's in the driveway right now.
- Benny.
- Hey, I'm back,
and you're not mad.
Why are you not mad?
- I am.
I'm really mad.
But also, there are some
things we need to talk.
- Hey Ben.
- Oh, hey Rich.
Thanks for texting me.
- It wasn't easy.
- Hey.
Actually, I could use your help, Ben,
if you have a minute in the bathroom.
- Why are you talking like that?
- The bathroom, it's broken.
- All right, just a sec.
- You love fixing bathrooms, right?
- You know what?
I do want to go take a look.
- I wanna go day-drink.
- That was cool.
- Still want to just enjoy what we have?
- I enjoy you.
You're pretty good.
- Look at us, the side characters.
- The voice of the audience.
- Kind of sucks.
I always kind of assumed
it was my story, you know?
- I know.
Everybody does.
- So, I was trying to.
- Okay.
- Where's the bathroom?
- There is no bathroom, Benny.
- Huh, fine.
Listen, Bea.
- No, you listen.
- No, please.
I'm not great.
I know that.
I can be dumb and stubborn
and I make bad choices.
- Benny, I think you've misunderstood.
- I feel like I was supposed
to love you, but also wreck it.
- It's not that simple.
Take a look around, Ben.
- But also, I need to give
you your space to talk
and not assume my feelings
are the most important and ah.
- There it is.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Are we in black and white?
- Look Benny, when you
left, where did you go?
- I don't know.
I just left.
- Where did you go?
To a house or something?
Can you remember?
- No.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
Listen, things are about to get weird.
- Weird?
- Er.
Look, geez, Ben.
Look at our lives.
Just one weird thing after another.
Like, remember that time
that turkey caught on fire
or we had that night with that evil clown?
- Or when Maggie adopted that spider?
- Yeah.
Every week, something crazy
happens in this house.
- Not like this.
- No, not like this.
Benny.
I'm scared.
I've never been so
scared in my whole life.
I just need to know you're by my side
no matter what happens.
Do you think you can do that, please?
- It's gonna be okay.
I can.
I can take care of this, Bea.
Just tell me what you need me to do.
- No, no, I don't need you to save me.
Just, you know.
Support me.
- You've changed.
- I have.
I think it's a good thing.
I'll let you know.
- What do you need me to do?
- Okay.
How well do you know sitcoms?
- It happened for two months
and I didn't tell anyone.
- You drank the liquor from
the maraschino cherries.
- I saw it on "Family Ties", man.
- Hello?
- Hey.
Bea, Benny.
- I got the water skis.
You got the shark?
- Do it.
- It's Richie time.
- Whoa.
Whoa.
Holy crap.
- Benny, find your calm.
- Stop.
What the?
Whoa.
Oh, what the?
Stop.
- Benny.
Dude.
Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- I know.
- Stop.
Hold on, hold on.
Bea, you've got to be
kidding me with this.
- Let's go back upstairs.
- No.
This has to happen now.
- This is nuts.
I mean, holy.
Ah.
- Benny, Richie.
- Ding him.
- Ding him?
Benny, you're really calm.
- Yeah.
I can do this.
- Good.
Bestest friends, don't you
have something important
to talk about over there?
- It's okay.
- I hope you know what you're doing.
- One second.
You guys take five for a minute.
- Hey Maggie, who was
on the phone earlier?
- Yeah, you had a phone call.
- Actually, that was the police.
Turns out Uncle Ratty was alive,
but on the way home,
he had a heart attack.
- No way.
- While he was driving
his car, which crashed.
- No way.
- When it fell off a cliff and exploded.
- For real?
Is this real right now?
- What the?
- So, I guess the will's still on.
- The show is fighting back.
- Sh.
- I'm fighting back the urge to throw up.
- Gee, you didn't have any
of that eggnog, did you?
- You guys need me.
Change of plans.
How 'bout?
How 'bout?
Bea, I love you.
Marry me instead.
- What did you just say?
- Dramatic enough for you?
- Hey Richie, you seem
really sober all of a sudden.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
- Also, don't you get terrible
headaches after you drink?
- You're an.
Oh, 'cause that's funny.
- This isn't working.
- Should I take Benny downstairs?
- Yeah, do that.
- Okay.
You got this.
Come on, big guy.
- So.
- So?
- How's everyone doing?
- This is a very
entertaining conversation.
- Want to hear a joke?
- Jokes are funny things.
- What's black and white and red all over?
- A newspaper?
- A zebra in a blender.
You two okay?
- I am.
We are.
- This is for you.
He said it's for later.
- What?
Later?
- It's Richie time.
Bea.
- Yeah.
- Forgive me.
- Oh no.
Richie was drinking booze the
whole time we were down there.
I think he's drunk again.
- Jackpot.
- What?
No, Benny.
- It's true.
- I also have something
very important to say.
- Oh boy.
- Richie and I have decided
to settle our differences once and for all
with a good old-fashioned
game of Zip, Zap, Zop.
Best two of three gets Bea.
- Excuse me?
- Go.
Zip. - Zap.
- Zop.
See?
Easy.
Whoever messes up, loses.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
Sorry Bea, it's the way it's got to be.
It's either him or me.
- I don't get a say?
- Nope.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zap.
- No Rich, I already decided
I'm gonna marry Benny
if he stops being an.
- Language.
- No, Bea, you're mine
and I'm gonna prove it.
Zip. - Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zap.
- I got you.
- Okay.
Six years of improv, sucker.
Oh yeah.
That's the stuff.
- I swear to God, you will stop.
- Only if you kiss me.
- This ends now.
Richie, I gave you a fake
liquor and you're really sober.
- I changed it back.
He's drunk now.
- Why?
- Shut up.
Last round, my girl.
- Why are you doing this?
- How 'bout this?
I win, you call off the wedding.
You win, you can have her.
She's all yours and I'll
walk out the door right now.
- Whoa Richie, that's
not what we talked about.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
I used to play this for hours, man.
I was unbeatable.
Yeah.
- This isn't what we talked about.
- Improv rules, Benny.
Once it's declared, it can't be denied.
- Can we just stop?
- Then, give up.
- No.
I hate you.
- Zap.
Oh darn.
- Bea.
- Don't even talk to me.
- Well.
That's that.
- How could you?
- 'Cause I'm a drunk.
- No, you're not.
- I am now.
Woo-hoo.
And a deal is a deal.
- Richie, what is this?
- Good game, champ.
By the way, does any of
this seem familiar to you?
- What?
- Sir, no.
- Like I said, does any of
this seem familiar, Benny?
- Don't.
- You are not getting in a car like that.
- You know the funny
thing about this door?
Sometimes, it just wants to open.
Now, that is spooky.
And sometimes.
- Richie, wait.
- It just gets stuck.
- It's jammed.
Please, please, please don't.
- Fight the show, Bea.
- I can't.
I can't do this without you.
- You have to.
That's the point.
- Please.
- Fight the show.
- Please don't.
No.
Hey.
This door can open now.
Hey.
This door is not stuck now.
Benny, help.
- I don't know how.
- Please.
Don't do this.
Open this door.
Guys.
Guys.
- I'll check upstairs.
- No.
No.
Richie.
Benny.
Benny.
- No one's here.
- Benny.
- I think it's been awhile.
Like, a couple of days.
- There's programs and flowers.
- Did you?
- No, I can't look.
I can't look, Ben.
- I can't believe this.
Bea.
Funeral was this morning.
- Not Richie.
- I think it's been almost a week.
I mean, look, it says.
- No, it wasn't.
He was just here.
He was right there.
You two planned this.
Why?
What did you do?
Why?
- Why?
- Stop, stop.
We didn't plan this.
He was supposed to win.
I swear.
- He was right here.
Oh, God.
Benny.
- Oh my God.
He left us something.
- What?
- The phone.
- It is I, Zombie Richie,
back from the dead.
Too soon?
Okay.
Take two.
So look.
We kind of sucked.
Faking it just wasn't gonna work
and we needed something more.
So, I figured even on
a sitcom, misery sells.
So, I gave us a tragedy.
They can't end it like this.
Bea, I love you and Benny loves you.
But that's our problem, not yours.
And please understand,
in order for this to work
and in order for the show to let me go,
I'm gonna have to be pretty terrible
and say some things that
I really don't mean.
So, here's the truth.
You are not the love object.
You're the hero.
It's Campbellian.
Sometimes the hero has
to lose their teacher
in order for them to become
who they're meant to be.
And you, you're magnificent.
This is life.
Sometimes, you fight to live one more day
and other times, you die trying
to save the one you love.
Okay.
Got to go.
You guys need me.
Change of plans.
- I'm sorry, Bea.
I'm so sorry.
- No, it's not your.
- I just.
I just wanted you to be happy.
And I kept trying and I kept messing it up
no matter what I did.
- Ben, that wasn't you.
That was them.
Not you.
- We're not gonna make it, are we?
You and me?
- No.
I love you so very, very much.
That was the whole premise of our show.
Maybe just maybe.
- We were meant to be.
- We never got to choose to be.
I can't just be your girl.
Not anymore.
- Yeah, I can see that.
When did you get to be so wise?
- It's not all it's cracked up to be.
- I can see that, too.
- They're home.
You ready?
- No.
I got your back though.
- I'm exhausted.
- It would have been nice to go.
- Hey guys.
- Oh my God.
- You're back.
- We were-
- It's been six days.
- I know.
We were stuck where lights were off.
- We figured.
- Hey Maggie.
How was the service?
- Hey Benny, let's go play a video game.
- Yes, Claude.
Let's go play a round.
- Hold on.
- You know, Pac-Man was actually
supposed to be called Puck-Man.
But they were afraid the kids
would change the P to you know.
- Okay.
We're clear.
- Bea, I can't take this.
After you left, the show
kicked into fast-forward.
Anytime we left a room,
it was suddenly two hours
later or the next day.
And then, we were in different clothes
and there was a gathering
and everyone says we
were at the funeral but-
- You still can't leave?
- It's worse than that.
Without you guys, it's like,
we only exist when it's entertaining,
which is always some kind of crisis.
And because there's only me and Claude,
we haven't even had a
moment and we don't sleep.
- What, like ever?
- You don't watch people
sleep on a sitcom, right?
Every night we turn off the lights
and it's just morning again.
And we never have sex
or go to the bathroom
or really eat or it just
jumps to the next scene.
This is hell.
- Maggie.
- Bea, I swear to God, I
remember it not being like this.
How do we start a family like this?
Ducking an audience we can't even see.
Having to pretend we're not really alive.
It's crazy.
Help.
What do we do?
- Ghost, ghost, ghost.
Dot, dot, dot.
- Hey guys.
- I think we should all
go check out that office.
- The door's locked.
It won't open.
- It might for me.
- All of us?
- Can we do that?
- Let's find out.
- Whoa.
- So, what's the audience
seeing right now?
Just like, empty rooms or does
it skip to the next scene?
- We should do this fast.
- I don't even know how we navigate.
- What if we didn't?
- What?
- What if something Claude said earlier,
no matter what we do,
this is all going to end.
Maybe not today, maybe in a season,
but eventually, we're all
going to just be done.
- This is life.
- Yeah.
What if?
What if we were so worried
about losing that life,
we spend all our time and
energy trying to save it
and we don't really live?
- Are you suggesting that
we just do what we want
and if we die, we die?
- If we're gonna have this
one tiny moment to be alive,
shouldn't we take it just
to be really, truly real?
- I trust you.
- I know you do.
- So do we.
- Ever since we came to life,
none of us really just lived.
- Benny?
- I'm with you.
- So.
What?
What would you do if
you could do anything?
- Maybe watch our sitcom.
- I know, right?
- I bet we're a hit.
- Oh yeah.
Huge.
- What would you do if
you could do anything?
- I think I can.
Okay.
Ready?
- What's she doing?
- Okay.
Just like last time, it's Richie.
He texted me.
There was a mix up and he's alive
and about to come right through that door.
Come on, ding.
Come on.
It was all a big mistake.
Come on.
It's Richie time.
- Hey.
- No, you can't deny us this.
He's coming back.
You bring him back.
I know you can.
You just have to write it down.
Do it.
Do it.
We all know.
Okay.
It's all a television
show and it's all fiction.
None of this is real.
So, you can do whatever you want.
Don't keep him from us.
Give him back.
Give him back.
Hello?
I know you can hear me.
I know you can.
- I can hear you.
- Benny.
Is this supposed to scare me?
- Are you scared?
- Yes.
But not of you.
- Good.
- You're not Benny.
- You wanted to speak with me.
- You're the writer.
- Writer.
Creator.
- Yeah.
Congratulations.
- I can always hear you.
- You're trying to scare me.
Why?
- You aren't supposed to be here.
- Stop it.
Why are you doing this?
- I'm trying to scare you.
- Fine.
I'm scared.
Okay.
But I'm not going anywhere.
You will speak to me.
- What do you want to know?
- You created us.
How could you be so cruel?
- How so exactly?
- Hurt us, move us around
like pieces on a board
to just entertain you.
- Not me.
Millions.
Tens of millions.
That's your function,
that's what you're for.
- What we're for?
- Of course.
- So, you break our hearts,
you take away the people we
love because it's fun to watch?
You're a monster.
We're in hell.
You put us in hell.
- I didn't mean to.
- Yes, you did.
- Look.
On a show at a certain point,
people get tired of
jokes, the little stories,
and they want to see the characters.
Suffer.
- That's obscene.
- You weren't real.
- Weren't we?
You said millions.
We're in people's homes.
We're at the dinner table.
We're on the subway.
And people have, they have
as much interest in our lives
as they do in the lives of
people they actually know.
Sometimes more.
So, which one of us is more real?
- It doesn't matter anyway.
- How can you say that?
- Because the show is ending.
- Richie.
- Hey Bea.
- No, no, you don't get to do that.
You're not him.
You just wrote him out
of your precious story.
You killed him.
- One day, a few months ago,
as a joke, after some scene,
I had Richie look at the camera
and comment to the
audience and they loved it.
The only problem was now
he knew he was on a show.
- As a joke.
- They say after a while,
your characters start to write themselves,
but this was something entirely new.
And then there was you.
- Me?
- You.
You started doing things, saying things,
learning things I didn't intend.
It's like the ideas
weren't even mine anymore.
They were yours.
You were just alive.
- You're ending all that.
So, what does that make you?
- I can't do this anymore.
- Face me.
- I don't want to.
- You can't hide from this.
You have a responsibility to us.
To me.
If I am what you say,
then I have a right to look you in the eye
and have you explain it.
'Cause I don't want to die.
I never seized the day.
You know?
Why can't you just let us be happy?
Why?
Why?
Why?
- Please join me.
Cut.
Welcome.
- This is?
- This is your set.
- Huh?
- Are you disappointed?
- Overwhelmed.
This is the real world.
- This is Suburbia.
This is where we make it.
I'm the showrunner.
So, they bring me on to-
- This is our home.
- It can be a bit much.
- Can they see me?
- Oh, no, no.
This is just you and me.
Just us.
You had questions.
- Yeah.
The show.
Are we?
Canceled?
- It was my call.
It's my show.
I mean, these guys would go forever.
They offered me a truckload of money
just to keep it going but.
- So, people still.
- Oh, people love you.
I just can't write you anymore.
- Why?
- TV now, it's important.
It's all drama and conflict and darkness
and the world doesn't need
silly sitcoms anymore.
Okay.
Here.
The real world.
It's messed up.
People are bitter and angry
and maybe we should do
something that matters.
- And we don't.
- You know what life is?
- I-
- Life ends.
Right?
Time is short.
So, why waste it with frivolous nonsense?
- I don't know your world.
I do know that having faced
the end, I wish I had more joy.
- Yeah well, it's in short supply.
- Does it have to be?
You say it's getting worse.
Is it?
Are you sure?
Have you checked?
You say TV has changed, but what if?
What if what's really happening
is that it just feels worse
because that's all you ever see?
- I don't think that's true.
- What if it is?
What if this machine in your home,
in your pocket feeding
you conflict all the time,
it's gotten you so worked up
that you've forgotten how to smile?
Because I've learned very recently,
once you feel like it's
all coming to pieces,
it's really easy to forget to live.
You have to choose to be happy.
Maybe we have a responsibility
to remind people that yeah,
the world sucks sometimes.
It can be a pretty good place, too.
If we let it.
- I wish that were so.
- Come with me.
This place.
This world you created, it's a beacon.
Don't laugh.
It is.
You said millions.
- Yeah, but Bea, you're the anomaly.
You're the exception.
- Even more reason.
People need us.
People have hard lives and they come home
and they just want to smile a little.
We provide that or we
could, if you let us.
- Okay.
But there would still
have to be some struggle.
I mean, that's life.
- Fine.
But not so dire and not so darned much.
Why not let it be the
happiest show around?
The place that people can look
to for a little dose of hope.
You want to do something important?
This is it.
- You are remarkable.
You know that?
- You made me.
- No, you made you.
I just helped.
It's your show.
I leave it to you.
Make it a good one.
- The best one.
It might be a little cheesy.
- I can't wait to watch it.
Oh, and Bea, Merry Christmas.
- It's Richie time.
- Richie.
I thought I'd lost you.
- You did.
Hey, Benny.
- Mag.
- It's okay.
I'm okay.
- Okay, everyone.
This is Suburbia.
And it's Christmas.
- Finally.
- Well, it took some doing.
Check this out.
Music.
- How?
- Had a talk with the boss.
Had to set him straight.
Time to have a little fun.
Cue applause.
Come on guys.
Anything you want.
Name it.
- Well, I did always want kids.
- Really?
- Kids, it is.
- And presents.
- They should definitely have presents.
And you said a wolf was crazy.
- And what's presents without Santa?
- Santa.
- Santa.
- Really?
And eggnog.
- Fresh eggnog.
- To good times with good friends.
- Aw.
- And singing.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
- And Richie's long-lost love.
- Sally.
- Sally.
- Hello, Richie.
- We can do better than that.
- I just finished my dissertation
on particle physics and I love you.
- Good one.
Okay.
What is life?
Is all that we seem, but
a dream within a dream?
Man is a giddy thing.
That you have such power in your minds
as to create life out
of shadows and words.
And when we end, you will remember us
like old friends you used
to know but time forgot.
And so, on behalf of the leading man,
the funny friend, the sarcastic roommate,
the quiet one and the love interest.
Thank you for making us alive.
- Hey Bea, what about you?
What would you ask for if
you could ask for anything?
- I just got it.
Cut to black.
Credits.
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
- Endlight.
What is life?
Is all that we seem but
a dream within a dream?
Man is a giddy thing, that you
have such power in your minds
as to create life out
of shadows and words,
and when we end, you will remember us
like old friends you used
to know, but time forgot.
And so, on behalf of the leading man,
the funny friend, the sarcastic roommate,
the quiet one, and the love interest.
Thank you for making us alive.
- I'm Benny.
- And I'm Bea.
- And after a high school romance,
we went our separate ways.
- But when we both answered the same ad.
- To rent a house in the suburbs.
- We used that chance to get
the whole gang back together.
- Living with your friends
can get a little weird.
- But if we can survive this bunch.
- Then maybe.
- Just maybe.
- We were meant to be.
- We were meant to be.
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap, Richie.
I need to decorate.
I have all these wreaths.
- Look, I used to do this all the time.
It was fun.
- Fine.
Zap.
- It's zip.
- I don't get this.
- What's not to get?
You say zip, I say zap,
you say zop, then repeat.
If you mess up, you're out.
Easy.
It's not like it's Risk.
- I hate Risk.
Okay, I have to put these up.
- Wait, hold on.
- Richie, you're the one
who keeps reminding us
that there's only two
weeks until Christmas.
I'm trying to get ready.
- But we were talking about Risk.
- I prefer Life.
- The game, Life.
- Uh-huh.
- Monopoly-lite?
- Yeah.
- Pink and blue peg, wheel spinney.
Let's pretend we have insurance Life?
- It's so cute.
It's like you're a little pink peg.
And then, along comes a blue manly peg,
and he sweeps you away in
your little plastic car
and you go to the farm and
have your little plastic kids.
- See, this is why I like Risk.
Seize the day, boys.
Or zip, zap, zop.
Live in the moment.
- Not me and Benny.
We have a destiny.
- Gross.
Where is old Benny blue peg, anyway?
- Fixing the video game.
- Is he okay?
He only does that when he's wigging out.
- I know.
I think he's planning something.
- With the video game?
- With me.
I thought you were the smart one.
- That's Maggie.
I'm the funny friend.
- No, no, no, no.
Maggie is the sarcastic roommate.
I guess that makes me the smart one.
- You're the love interest.
- Gee.
Thanks.
Does that make Benny the leading man?
- He's definitely not the smart one.
- Then, who's the smart one?
- I don't know.
Claude?
You need to go decorate.
We only have-
- I know, two weeks.
Okay.
I'm off.
- Uncle Ratty is dead?
As in, dead-dead?
- The only kind of dead there is.
- Fair.
I never got to meet him.
- Neither did I.
Years ago, I gave him a kidney.
- A kidney.
Like, one of yours?
- He needed a kidney.
I had two, so I gave him one.
What's the problem?
- I didn't know that.
- Claude, I have a scar.
- Huh?
- That's why he let us live
in this house so cheap.
- Oh, well then, I'm gonna miss him.
- Yeah well, you won't have to.
We're in his will.
- We are?
- Yup.
And me, a little more.
- Holy crap.
That's.
That's us?
- Mm hm.
All ours now.
The money, the mansion.
The horse farm.
- In Alaska.
Where they farm horses.
- Benny's gonna freak.
- Richie's gonna freak.
- Richie is a freak.
What about Bea?
- Bea's cool.
- Coming through.
- Except at Christmas.
- Yeah, I take that back.
Not cool at all.
- Don't tell them.
- Oh yeah.
No, I won't. - Tell us what?
- Don't-
- What a great job you're
doing decorating the house.
- Yeah, we can't tell you that.
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
♪ I've two more wreaths
to find spots for ♪
- So.
So, that's how many now total?
- 117, 18, 19.
- Oh, that's-
- Yeah, 120 would be good though.
- It would be, but I think we're good.
- Yeah?
- With what we have.
Maybe even less.
- No, no.
- No, you're right.
- No, less is never the answer.
It's always more, more, more.
- Yeah, more, definitely.
- Well, I mean, sometimes,
maybe less is more.
- Yes.
Do you think she'd notice if
we took some of them down?
- Guys.
- Oh.
- Oh.
- Let's go see what.
- Okay.
- I know what this is about.
- I've almost got it.
- He'll never get it.
- Sh.
- You've been trying to fix
that old things since you got it.
- I will not be discouraged by you.
Right, Bea?
- Sure, honey.
- You got to do that now?
- Perfect.
Okay, sweetie, you have it.
- Here we go.
Ta-dah.
Crap on a stick.
- You'll get it one day.
- What?
Wait.
Actually, I kind of had
something in mind for tonight.
- Really?
Tonight?
- Claude.
- Now?
- Now.
- Almost got it.
- Wait, where's Richie?
- Richie.
- I want everyone to be here for this.
- Benny.
- It's Richie time.
- Hey, Rich.
- What's up best friend?
- Ask Benny.
- Okay.
Everyone.
Claude.
- Oh yeah.
- Bea.
- Oh my Lord.
- No.
- I love you, Bea.
I always have.
- No way.
- And I couldn't imagine
my life without you.
And that's why.
- Fine.
Christmas movie marathon.
I'm so sorry.
- Richie.
- Do you think you're real?
- What is this?
- How well do you know sitcoms?
Benny has 100 Christmas movies
for us to watch downstairs
and he's got the remote in his pocket.
- That was weird.
- I love you and I know how
much you love the holidays.
- There's only a few
weeks left 'til Christmas.
- I'm gonna go pop some corn.
- And I brought some corn for popping.
- But no eggnog.
You know I hate eggnog.
- I know.
- Are you excited?
- Benny, I don't know what's happening.
I thought you were-
- Let's start with "Home Alone".
Ah.
- But I thought you
were making the eggnog.
- You're right, great idea.
I love eggnog.
- No, you don't.
- No, I don't.
I hate eggnog.
And sometimes, I love it.
Weird.
I don't feel good.
- Yes, you do.
You just want to go make eggnog.
- Yes, I do.
I'm gonna go make some eggnog.
- Benny wait.
Stop.
- Bea.
How did you?
- Bea, are you okay?
- I need a minute.
- What did you?
How did you? - I said, back off.
- Okay Bea, it was just a joke.
Richie time is crazy.
Peace out, girl scout.
- What the hell is he doing?
- Richie?
Who knows?
Eggnog?
- Please.
This is elaborate, even for him.
- I'm not sure what you mean.
- Seriously?
- Here, try this.
- Oh, that's strong.
And you like this now?
- Yeah, I know.
I can't seem to get it right.
- Did you help him set this up?
- He's usually the funny one, right?
- He gave me a toilet.
- See?
That's not normal.
- Like that.
How is he doing that?
- I'm lost.
- Benny.
About the surprise.
Can we just say it?
You were gonna propose, right?
I mean, just tell me if I'm wrong, okay,
and if I'm being stupid and all.
- Yes.
And, you know, I don't know
what happened with the movies.
Look, I blew it.
- I could never stay mad at you.
- I love you.
- Aw.
- Okay, enough.
- Okay.
Not what I was expecting.
- I'm sorry, Richie's stupid joke.
- Richie?
- I think he wanted to stop you from-
- Proposing?
Richie?
- I know.
It's crazy, right?
- You know what?
This is our time.
- So, let's say that nobody,
not even someone that you've
known since you were 12,
gets to be here in this space.
- That's nice.
I wasn't not surprised.
- Oh.
So, I can still surprise you.
- Aw.
- Richie.
- And we're back to Richie.
- It's like he hid speakers or something.
- Let's keep this on us.
- I'm just having a really weird day.
- So, let's have it together, you and me.
I do love you.
- Aw.
- Okay, we get it.
- Excuse me.
- You don't hear that?
- I said, I love you.
- Aw.
- Richie.
- That's it.
- No, I am.
- I don't know what you're
thinking about, Bea,
but it's clearly not this.
- Ben.
- No.
Let's talk to Richie.
That sounds great.
Hey Richie.
Richie.
Come down here.
- Stop this.
- Stop what?
We're just gonna have a little talk.
- Oh, it's Richie time.
Woo.
- Richie, turn it off.
- Just the man I wanted to see.
What's the deal, Rich, Huh?
- What is that?
Richie, make it stop.
- Okay, I'm sorry.
Just come upstairs.
I can explain.
- No, explain here.
Explain to all of us.
- We're doing this?
- Yup.
- But you look so dizzy.
- What's that mean?
Oh.
- Benny.
- That was weird.
- This isn't over, Rich.
- It looks like it is.
- I said, stop this.
- I got this.
- Stop.
- Did you see that?
- I saw that.
- How are you doing this?
- How are you doing this?
- You need to come upstairs.
- Benny.
- Just go, Bea.
- Once we go in this
door, everything changes.
Everything.
- This is the bathroom.
And it's locked.
- Welcome to nowhere.
Do you need to sit?
- This isn't the bathroom.
- Until right now, this was the only place
that was like this.
Until today, until you.
- This is some sort of office.
Did you change it?
- Did I change reality black and white?
Not today, no.
- You're playing some kind of trick.
- Okay, pop quiz.
Do you remember our high school?
- Down at River.
- Fine, but I
bet you dollars to donuts
you don't remember anyone there, but me.
No teachers, no students, no relatives.
- You're not.
What the?
- It gets weirder.
My first memories are in this house.
Anything before that, I remember facts,
but nothing of substance.
No details.
Nothing.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I do, I do.
- Tell me I'm wrong, please.
- No, I do.
Hold on.
Hold on.
No.
No what is?
Holy.
What was that?
- Take a breath.
Best I can tell you, me, Benny, Maggie,
and Claude came to life
when we moved in here.
- Came to life?
- Started our existence in this.
Suburbia.
It's a TV show and I think
you and Benny are the stars.
Maybe, just maybe.
They were meant to be.
- You're crazy, Richie.
Grade A.
- Okay, the laugh-track.
You heard it, right?
- The what?
- We make funny, the audience laughs.
It's like a sitcom.
- I don't know what I heard.
- We can't curse.
Family show.
I heard it for the first time
about a month ago with the plumber.
I tried to go check the bathroom
and then this office, a writer's
office and we're the story.
- Stop this.
- They never show the
bathroom in a family show.
That's what Suburbia is.
- What is that?
- The name of the show.
Read the script.
We are not real.
We're living in a fictional reality
and only you and I know it.
- You need help.
You need to go to a hospital
or something. - It gets worse.
- We're done here.
- You need to listen to me.
- I said, we're done.
- We're gonna die.
Look.
This is the plan for the end of the story.
Series finale, final episodes.
You and Benny go off and then that's it.
No more show, no more us.
If you could just do what you did.
- What did I do, huh?
I don't know what I heard,
but it sure as hell wasn't
some other worldly audience.
I am real.
I can feel, I can think, and so can you.
So, just stop.
- Bea.
- Don't ever do this again.
- You know, I think
when we move to Alaska,
it'll be legal for us to adopt a wolf.
- You think so?
- Yeah, I think
they have like wolf rescues.
- And do you want that?
You want a wolf?
- Yeah, I want several.
- Outside.
- We are not doing this when we move.
- Oh, I know.
We'll have lots more.
- That's how you
get Christmas tree mites.
- That's not a thing.
Don't scare me.
- They're bed bugs.
They just move to the tree.
- No.
Seriously?
- Maybe not Christmas,
but Halloween all year?
- I like that.
- Right?
- Benny.
Benny.
Benny, can we talk?
- Talk?
- You were really mad.
- You think?
Why don't you ask Richie about it?
- You told me to go.
- You wanted to.
- Can you please stop playing?
- Why?
- Because it's rude.
- Fine.
I'm not playing.
- Thank you.
You were gonna fight Richie.
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.
- Yes, I was.
- Who does that?
You don't go from kissy-kiss
to fighty time under a minute.
- I don't get this.
I don't understand what's going on.
- I don't either.
- With you and Richie.
- Oh.
Nothing, except.
Really, nothing.
Benny, when everything you know is wrong,
how do you adapt to that?
- You feel this is wrong?
- No.
Were you even listening?
I'm all mixed up.
Benny, look.
Do you remember your old high school?
- Yeah, you're mixed up.
- No, seriously.
Do you remember?
- Yeah, I heard you.
- I'm doing this wrong.
- Darn straight.
- I can't do this.
- You can't do what?
Bea, you're not making any sense.
- I can't do this right now.
- Ooh.
- Stop it.
What now?
- Bea, Benny.
- Something's happening.
- Okay, they're here.
- Okay.
- What is this?
- I have good news.
- And bad news.
- What happened?
- Uncle Ratty died.
- Oh, Maggie.
- I don't care.
I gave him a kidney.
It's not like I knew him.
- She's so cuddly.
- You gave him a kidney?
- Fine, I do care but, you know?
Anyways, look.
He had a will and we were all in it.
- Oh.
- Oh boy.
- Short version, Claude and I, we get-
- Holy crap.
- That's what I said.
- Best part.
He left you three the house
for when we move to Alaska.
- Oh my goodness.
- But you guys are leaving.
- We thought you could
sell it, split the cash.
- Why would we want to do that?
- Be kind of weird, don't you think?
Just you three.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Clearly.
- Yo.
Stupids.
You just got a house.
Stop being so grumpy.
Now, Claude and I are going downstairs
to break out the good booze.
And when we get back, you're gonna be okay
or so help me God, I will cut you.
- Ooh.
- She will.
- This is exhausting.
- Benny.
- Suddenly our things
seemed kind of small.
I mean, if we sold this house.
- Yeah, we
can get our own places.
- I think that's probably best.
- Benny, Richie.
Come on.
- We can't fake this anymore, Bea.
- What does that mean?
- We can't even have this?
- No.
- I don't think I like that guy.
- Benny, please, I need
you to come upstairs.
- I want to punch him in his stupid face.
- This is not helpful.
- I said, want to.
I didn't say I would.
- I need to go upstairs and so do you.
He's in the bathroom.
- Excuse me.
- Shut up.
- Shut up?
- Not you.
Please come with me.
- No.
- Yes, you want to.
- Okay.
Yeah, good idea.
- Good.
- No, wait.
- Benny, you got this.
Come on.
- What are you doing?
- Come on with me now.
- Get off of me.
What's wrong with you?
You know what?
Go up there.
You two are perfect for each other.
- Wait, wait.
I'm sorry, okay?
I can explain if you just-
- No, I don't think you can.
- You okay?
- It's Benny.
We need him to be a part of this.
- Do we?
- How can you say that?
He's your friend.
I just wish.
It was right there.
The house, our future.
- It's not real.
- It felt real.
For just a second, it felt real.
Did you see Maggie and Claude?
They were so happy.
- I wasn't looking at them.
- We cannot let this happen.
We do what we need to do.
We save them, all of them.
- You believe me?
- I have to.
I don't want to.
I have to die a little for it,
but I'm not gonna let the
people I love just end.
- Okay.
So, whoever this writer is,
he or she has got it all mapped out.
So, all of this is what's come before.
- Some of this is very personal.
It's creepy.
- You think that's creepy?
Check this out.
- Wow.
- And this is now.
- Engaged.
Maggie and Claude move, the end,
which means we all die.
- Or un-live or whatever.
- Okay so, we just don't do these things.
I don't get engaged.
Maggie and Claude stay.
We have all this.
Doesn't that give us an edge?
- I think you're the edge.
You stepped outside the show, Bea.
- I don't know how I did that.
- Okay.
Look, this room isn't
connected to the show.
It's a dead zone.
A bridge between us and whoever
is responsible for all this.
If you could just use
that and maybe reach out.
- I said I can't.
Believe me, I wish I could.
I don't know how.
- Okay.
We'll do it within the show,
but you're gonna have to learn the rules.
Okay.
Rule number one, we're
in a TV show, a comedy.
So, the audience trusts us.
Whatever we present as
a fact has to happen.
- That's like playing God.
Is what happened-
- With the proposal?
- Makes you a jerk, kinda.
- Won't be the last time.
How old is that eggnog?
- Benny just made it.
- So, it's perfectly fine.
- I don't get this.
- Okay.
Watch this.
He takes a sip.
All good, right?
Now, watch this.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Don't drink that.
This is a week old.
- I gotta go.
- I love the holidays.
I try to keep saying the
one liners, you know.
Keeping it fun.
Check this out.
- This is incredible.
- It changed.
Did you hear the bell?
- Yeah.
- An angel just got its wings.
- You're hilarious.
- Right?
It doesn't always work, though.
- I did it.
- You did.
But the thing is, it only works
if you believe it'll work.
- So, that's rule one.
- Rule two is harder.
Okay.
You're a part of a show.
You can't leave unless
the story wants you to.
You just can't.
Watch.
Open it.
This is fun, too.
- This is too much.
- You're still with me?
- Just.
Wow.
Go on.
- Okay.
This is the most important thing.
We can manipulate the
show, but not break it.
We can't jump the shark.
- I've heard of that.
- If we do that, the show dies.
Even if it takes a while.
- So, we got to hide that
we know that it's a show.
- It's got to stay secret.
We can't become something that we're not.
Before we do anything else.
Benny's playing heck point?
Oh man, I wish I could see that.
It's the bomb diggity.
Okay.
So.
It's Richie time?
Okay, we're safe.
- What was that all about?
- We're in an ensemble show.
So, as long as something more
interesting is happening,
the audience will follow it.
- Got it.
What about all this?
The way things look.
- Kind of hyper real?
- Almost cinematic.
- You've seen the truth
and you can't unsee it,
but you can jump back
in for a little while.
Look, close your eyes.
- Am I supposed to use the force?
- Don't make any jokes.
It'll bring them back.
- I feel silly.
- Just trust me.
Focus on your character.
The love interest, here
with the funny friend,
trying to make up with the leading man.
Go back to how it felt.
- Wow.
It's so bright, I never noticed.
- Kind of weird, right?
Doesn't it feel-
- Kind of unnatural.
Now, I just can't believe.
- It's hard to
hold, but you'll get better.
- This is nuts.
- Last thing, maybe the most important.
Let's go back in together.
Hey Bea, how much money did
you leave in your pocket?
- Like, $100.
- Yeah.
It's a shame that a meteor's
coming to destroy the world.
- What?
Richie, why would you say that?
Why would you do that?
- Wait for it.
- Have you guys seen this?
- That's right, Steve, this just in.
The meteor has been
diverted by a plucky crew
of space miners who have
sacrificed their lives for ours.
Why?
If it wasn't for them.
- What just happened?
- You can bend the rules,
Bea, not break them.
If you push the show too
hard, it pushes back.
Sometimes violently.
- What did you do?
- Shows like this, they
end in the summertime.
So I kept saying, it's almost
Christmas to keep it going.
- So, Christmas never gets here.
That's why I keep decorating
even though we have so much stuff.
- I pushed the show and it pushed back.
- Uncle Ratty.
- Uncle Ratty, Maggie
and Claude, the proposal.
- You caused this.
- Like I said, I'm sorry.
- It's just harder.
Not impossible.
We start with Maggie.
Claude will follow her.
- And if they're all on board?
- Benny will have to listen.
- Okay.
You're really good at this.
- You think you can keep
the audience on you?
- Hey.
It's Richie time.
- Oh Lord.
- Yeah, I know, right?
You don't look so good.
- I drank curds.
- Who'd do something so stupid?
- Geez, Rich.
- I'm gonna be sick.
- You know what makes me sick?
- Subtle hints?
- You're amazing.
Did you start the marathon without us?
- Someone had to.
I couldn't find Benny.
- Maggie, can I borrow you?
- Only if you pay interest.
You can afford that now.
- Lord, please.
- Nope.
You still look sick.
So.
Okay.
- Yep, I'm done.
- Maggie.
I'm just gonna sit here.
- Okay bud, I'm just
gonna mix up some stuff
and by the by, have you seen "Inception"?
- Holy hell.
- I know, right?
- Is this what?
Where's the bathroom?
- Maggie, I want you to keep an open mind
about what I'm about to tell you.
- You're freaking me out, Bea.
- It's the day for that.
Can you do that?
Keep an-
- Open mind.
Sure.
Okay.
- I'm sorry.
In advance.
- See, they're focused on the top,
which means the totem is still in play.
Therefore there's no way.
There's no way it's the real world.
- I didn't follow any of that.
- Claude's feeling better.
- I am.
That's weird.
You okay?
- No, I am.
I just feel a little.
Today's not going the way I.
I can't do this.
- Benny.
What is this?
- Look guys, this is tough.
- You're leaving?
He's leaving?
- Dammit, Bea, I wanted-
- What?
What did you want, Benny?
- Can we not do this right now?
- Hold on.
What did you want, Benny?
What did I do that was
so terrible that you-
- I wanted to marry you, Bea.
- I wanted that, too.
- Seriously?
- Fine.
Then come with me right now.
We'll work out the details later,
but I'm gonna walk out that door
and it's up to you if
you want to come with me.
- Are you kidding me with this?
- Richie, what do I do?
- I don't know.
- Richie, you're lucky
I don't tear you apart.
- I'm right here.
- Can we not?
I expected better.
- Well done, gentlemen, you
should feel really good.
- This is a conversation you
should be having with me.
Not Richie, me.
- He's in love with you, Bea.
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is.
- I'm not doing this.
I'm not gonna be some
sort of romantic pawn.
Do you hear me?
- Benny.
- Shut your mouth.
- This is not you, okay?
Think about it.
You wouldn't do this.
- I have thought about it a lot
and I don't know how things
got so messed up between us,
but they did and I can't stay.
- You gotta do the thing.
- Richie, I can't.
- You have to.
- Benny, you want to stay.
- No, I don't.
- I said you want to stay.
- You gotta believe it.
- Help me.
- I changed the locks.
- What?
- What?
- Yeah.
They're all locked and they won't open.
- Yeah.
All the doors are locked and broken.
- So, you can't leave, okay?
- That's bizarre.
- Oh, come on.
- It's fighting back.
- Look.
Just tell me everything's
going to be okay and I'll stay.
- I really want to.
- And she can.
Just tell him it's gonna be okay.
- I don't want to lie to him.
- I feel like I was supposed
to be mad right now, but I'm not.
I just.
I need to go.
- Dude, I'm begging you.
- Take care of her.
She's really special.
See ya.
- What is that?
- I don't know.
I've never seen that before.
- You said we couldn't leave.
- Unless the show wants you to.
- Well, this sucks.
- To be continued.
- The final episodes.
- What?
- No, no, no, no, no.
I knew we were near the end,
but I didn't think that-
- Didn't think what?
- We were this close.
- Close to what?
- Oh.
Are we all fictional
characters in a TV show?
Just, it kind of makes sense
when you think about it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- So, what is that?
- It's the final arc.
- How many episodes left?
- One, maybe two.
- Oh my God.
- Where's Benny?
- Wait.
Yeah, where is he? - He left.
- I need a drink.
- Don't drink the eggnog.
- So, what does this mean?
Are we dead?
Is this dead?
- How can we be dead?
We aren't even real.
How can we? - No, stop.
We're real.
I think therefore I am, I think.
- Claude's right.
We don't play this game.
Here, now, we are as real as anyone else.
We aren't nothing.
This is life.
This is real, okay?
- That was a really good speech.
- Now, we just got to
figure out a way not to die.
- Well, that's ominous.
- Two hours.
- 'Til what?
- 'Til we're on the air.
- Shouldn't it be a week?
- Not for us.
- So okay, first.
- We figure out how to-
- We get Benny onboard.
- Why?
He left.
- Because it's Benny.
How can you say that?
Why?
It was your idea.
- Okay.
First off, you two.
You got some next level
baggage you need to dump.
- Excuse me?
- Yeah, you guys really
need to put this to rest.
- Okay, okay.
We're fine.
We're totally okay.
- We are not okay.
You're in love with me.
- Well, hey, let's skip the foreplay.
- You are.
- Yes.
Yes, I am.
Are you?
In love with me, I mean?
- What do you want me to say, Richie?
- I don't know, yes.
- I can't.
- Because you're not.
- Up 'til today, all I
ever loved was Benny.
I didn't question that.
I don't even think I was supposed to.
And now, with all this.
- All this.
Are you not entertained?
I don't want to love you, Bea.
I just.
Do.
And I don't know if it's
because I'm supposed to
or not because I would love
you even if I didn't have to.
I don't know.
I can't wrap my head around it.
And someone needs a lesson
in modern gender roles.
- I do love you, though.
That's real.
If not that kind of love.
Whatever this is between us, this is good.
- Fair enough.
- If we're gonna do this,
we're gonna need everyone on board.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna need a plan and
hell of a lot of luck.
- Someone out there thought
us up, wrote us down,
unleashed us on the world and
sat back to see what happened.
Life and death literally lies
in whether we can tell the
story we were meant to tell,
but tell it our way,
because I promise you,
this is not where we end.
- Then, what can we do?
Because this seems pretty endy to me.
- The way I figure, we
have to force the show
into a situation where there
have to be more episodes.
- Yeah, but there are only two left, Bea.
How do we do that?
- Maybe one.
- Excuse me, what?
- Benny left the house.
- We can do whatever we want.
We just get him back.
- Just say, here comes
Benny and he's back?
- Richie?
- In theory.
- Cool.
- Fine.
Assuming that works and
assuming Benny's on board
and assuming we can
come up with something.
- We jump the shark.
- No the hell we don't.
- Isn't that the show killer thing?
- Yeah.
You change the show so much
that it never recovers.
- Yeah, but you said sometimes
it takes a long time.
Has that ever been like
a really long time?
- "Cheers", "E.R.", "The Walking Dead",
even "Happy Days" stayed on a while
after the actual shark
so yeah, it's possible.
But Bea, that's the
exception, not the rule.
- Until the very thing we're doing now
kills the show outright and we're dead.
What's the point?
- Yes.
It's a band-aid move.
I get it.
But it's a hell of a lot better
than dying in two episodes.
Does anyone have a better idea?
Anyone?
- We should go check the clock.
Oh boy.
- Look, do we
have a plan here or not?
- What is life?
Getting one day and
then getting another one
and then doing anything
you can to not die.
- Is that all life is?
Just saying.
If this is my last episode,
I don't want to be scraping
and fighting to survive.
It doesn't sound fun.
- So, you're saying we give up then.
- I don't think he's saying that.
You're not saying that, right?
- I think I am.
If this is all the time we got.
- Maybe we should live in it.
- No, we have to try.
We can't just die.
Not after finding out what we really are.
I can't believe that God or the universe
or these writers or
whatever are that evil.
- Do we know that?
Is that a thing that we know?
- I'm with Bea.
It.
And these guys
if they try to stop us.
- Fair point.
- We need a new story.
Something to keep us on the air
while we think of something so big
that they can't end the show.
- I got it.
A side plot.
A very special episode.
Funny guy battles addiction.
- That's up.
- They can't cancel the show
with something like that going on.
You see?
You got to outsmart them.
- Could work, though.
And we.
- We will have a problem with the will.
Can't move out yet.
- Shucks.
- Perfect.
I'll work on Benny.
Thank you.
All of you.
- We couldn't have done it without you.
You really stepped up.
What was that for?
- You deserve it.
- Bea.
- One minute.
- Ready.
- Claude?
- This is gonna work.
- This had better work.
- It will.
- 10 seconds.
- We believe in you.
- Once more into the breach.
- It's Richie time.
Oh, wait.
It's Richie time.
- Did you just go out of the room
and come back in just to say that?
- I sure did.
And I sure love this alcohol.
Whoa.
- Richie, isn't it early to be drinking?
- I can control it.
Maggie, do you have any
idea where Benny is?
Because I think it's
time that we settle this.
- Are you drunk?
- I can handle it, trust me.
Magpie.
Benny, any clues?
- Oh, no.
Sorry.
But I did just get an email saying.
- Saying that Uncle
Ratty may still be alive.
- Well, what about the will?
- Where there's a will, there's a way.
Because.
I just got a text that says
Benny might be back any minute.
- Oh.
Right.
Any minute.
- He's in the driveway right now.
- Benny.
- Hey, I'm back,
and you're not mad.
Why are you not mad?
- I am.
I'm really mad.
But also, there are some
things we need to talk.
- Hey Ben.
- Oh, hey Rich.
Thanks for texting me.
- It wasn't easy.
- Hey.
Actually, I could use your help, Ben,
if you have a minute in the bathroom.
- Why are you talking like that?
- The bathroom, it's broken.
- All right, just a sec.
- You love fixing bathrooms, right?
- You know what?
I do want to go take a look.
- I wanna go day-drink.
- That was cool.
- Still want to just enjoy what we have?
- I enjoy you.
You're pretty good.
- Look at us, the side characters.
- The voice of the audience.
- Kind of sucks.
I always kind of assumed
it was my story, you know?
- I know.
Everybody does.
- So, I was trying to.
- Okay.
- Where's the bathroom?
- There is no bathroom, Benny.
- Huh, fine.
Listen, Bea.
- No, you listen.
- No, please.
I'm not great.
I know that.
I can be dumb and stubborn
and I make bad choices.
- Benny, I think you've misunderstood.
- I feel like I was supposed
to love you, but also wreck it.
- It's not that simple.
Take a look around, Ben.
- But also, I need to give
you your space to talk
and not assume my feelings
are the most important and ah.
- There it is.
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Are we in black and white?
- Look Benny, when you
left, where did you go?
- I don't know.
I just left.
- Where did you go?
To a house or something?
Can you remember?
- No.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
Listen, things are about to get weird.
- Weird?
- Er.
Look, geez, Ben.
Look at our lives.
Just one weird thing after another.
Like, remember that time
that turkey caught on fire
or we had that night with that evil clown?
- Or when Maggie adopted that spider?
- Yeah.
Every week, something crazy
happens in this house.
- Not like this.
- No, not like this.
Benny.
I'm scared.
I've never been so
scared in my whole life.
I just need to know you're by my side
no matter what happens.
Do you think you can do that, please?
- It's gonna be okay.
I can.
I can take care of this, Bea.
Just tell me what you need me to do.
- No, no, I don't need you to save me.
Just, you know.
Support me.
- You've changed.
- I have.
I think it's a good thing.
I'll let you know.
- What do you need me to do?
- Okay.
How well do you know sitcoms?
- It happened for two months
and I didn't tell anyone.
- You drank the liquor from
the maraschino cherries.
- I saw it on "Family Ties", man.
- Hello?
- Hey.
Bea, Benny.
- I got the water skis.
You got the shark?
- Do it.
- It's Richie time.
- Whoa.
Whoa.
Holy crap.
- Benny, find your calm.
- Stop.
What the?
Whoa.
Oh, what the?
Stop.
- Benny.
Dude.
Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- Dude.
- I know.
- Stop.
Hold on, hold on.
Bea, you've got to be
kidding me with this.
- Let's go back upstairs.
- No.
This has to happen now.
- This is nuts.
I mean, holy.
Ah.
- Benny, Richie.
- Ding him.
- Ding him?
Benny, you're really calm.
- Yeah.
I can do this.
- Good.
Bestest friends, don't you
have something important
to talk about over there?
- It's okay.
- I hope you know what you're doing.
- One second.
You guys take five for a minute.
- Hey Maggie, who was
on the phone earlier?
- Yeah, you had a phone call.
- Actually, that was the police.
Turns out Uncle Ratty was alive,
but on the way home,
he had a heart attack.
- No way.
- While he was driving
his car, which crashed.
- No way.
- When it fell off a cliff and exploded.
- For real?
Is this real right now?
- What the?
- So, I guess the will's still on.
- The show is fighting back.
- Sh.
- I'm fighting back the urge to throw up.
- Gee, you didn't have any
of that eggnog, did you?
- You guys need me.
Change of plans.
How 'bout?
How 'bout?
Bea, I love you.
Marry me instead.
- What did you just say?
- Dramatic enough for you?
- Hey Richie, you seem
really sober all of a sudden.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
- Also, don't you get terrible
headaches after you drink?
- You're an.
Oh, 'cause that's funny.
- This isn't working.
- Should I take Benny downstairs?
- Yeah, do that.
- Okay.
You got this.
Come on, big guy.
- So.
- So?
- How's everyone doing?
- This is a very
entertaining conversation.
- Want to hear a joke?
- Jokes are funny things.
- What's black and white and red all over?
- A newspaper?
- A zebra in a blender.
You two okay?
- I am.
We are.
- This is for you.
He said it's for later.
- What?
Later?
- It's Richie time.
Bea.
- Yeah.
- Forgive me.
- Oh no.
Richie was drinking booze the
whole time we were down there.
I think he's drunk again.
- Jackpot.
- What?
No, Benny.
- It's true.
- I also have something
very important to say.
- Oh boy.
- Richie and I have decided
to settle our differences once and for all
with a good old-fashioned
game of Zip, Zap, Zop.
Best two of three gets Bea.
- Excuse me?
- Go.
Zip. - Zap.
- Zop.
See?
Easy.
Whoever messes up, loses.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
Sorry Bea, it's the way it's got to be.
It's either him or me.
- I don't get a say?
- Nope.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zap.
- No Rich, I already decided
I'm gonna marry Benny
if he stops being an.
- Language.
- No, Bea, you're mine
and I'm gonna prove it.
Zip. - Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zap.
- I got you.
- Okay.
Six years of improv, sucker.
Oh yeah.
That's the stuff.
- I swear to God, you will stop.
- Only if you kiss me.
- This ends now.
Richie, I gave you a fake
liquor and you're really sober.
- I changed it back.
He's drunk now.
- Why?
- Shut up.
Last round, my girl.
- Why are you doing this?
- How 'bout this?
I win, you call off the wedding.
You win, you can have her.
She's all yours and I'll
walk out the door right now.
- Whoa Richie, that's
not what we talked about.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
- Zap.
- Zop.
- Zip.
I used to play this for hours, man.
I was unbeatable.
Yeah.
- This isn't what we talked about.
- Improv rules, Benny.
Once it's declared, it can't be denied.
- Can we just stop?
- Then, give up.
- No.
I hate you.
- Zap.
Oh darn.
- Bea.
- Don't even talk to me.
- Well.
That's that.
- How could you?
- 'Cause I'm a drunk.
- No, you're not.
- I am now.
Woo-hoo.
And a deal is a deal.
- Richie, what is this?
- Good game, champ.
By the way, does any of
this seem familiar to you?
- What?
- Sir, no.
- Like I said, does any of
this seem familiar, Benny?
- Don't.
- You are not getting in a car like that.
- You know the funny
thing about this door?
Sometimes, it just wants to open.
Now, that is spooky.
And sometimes.
- Richie, wait.
- It just gets stuck.
- It's jammed.
Please, please, please don't.
- Fight the show, Bea.
- I can't.
I can't do this without you.
- You have to.
That's the point.
- Please.
- Fight the show.
- Please don't.
No.
Hey.
This door can open now.
Hey.
This door is not stuck now.
Benny, help.
- I don't know how.
- Please.
Don't do this.
Open this door.
Guys.
Guys.
- I'll check upstairs.
- No.
No.
Richie.
Benny.
Benny.
- No one's here.
- Benny.
- I think it's been awhile.
Like, a couple of days.
- There's programs and flowers.
- Did you?
- No, I can't look.
I can't look, Ben.
- I can't believe this.
Bea.
Funeral was this morning.
- Not Richie.
- I think it's been almost a week.
I mean, look, it says.
- No, it wasn't.
He was just here.
He was right there.
You two planned this.
Why?
What did you do?
Why?
- Why?
- Stop, stop.
We didn't plan this.
He was supposed to win.
I swear.
- He was right here.
Oh, God.
Benny.
- Oh my God.
He left us something.
- What?
- The phone.
- It is I, Zombie Richie,
back from the dead.
Too soon?
Okay.
Take two.
So look.
We kind of sucked.
Faking it just wasn't gonna work
and we needed something more.
So, I figured even on
a sitcom, misery sells.
So, I gave us a tragedy.
They can't end it like this.
Bea, I love you and Benny loves you.
But that's our problem, not yours.
And please understand,
in order for this to work
and in order for the show to let me go,
I'm gonna have to be pretty terrible
and say some things that
I really don't mean.
So, here's the truth.
You are not the love object.
You're the hero.
It's Campbellian.
Sometimes the hero has
to lose their teacher
in order for them to become
who they're meant to be.
And you, you're magnificent.
This is life.
Sometimes, you fight to live one more day
and other times, you die trying
to save the one you love.
Okay.
Got to go.
You guys need me.
Change of plans.
- I'm sorry, Bea.
I'm so sorry.
- No, it's not your.
- I just.
I just wanted you to be happy.
And I kept trying and I kept messing it up
no matter what I did.
- Ben, that wasn't you.
That was them.
Not you.
- We're not gonna make it, are we?
You and me?
- No.
I love you so very, very much.
That was the whole premise of our show.
Maybe just maybe.
- We were meant to be.
- We never got to choose to be.
I can't just be your girl.
Not anymore.
- Yeah, I can see that.
When did you get to be so wise?
- It's not all it's cracked up to be.
- I can see that, too.
- They're home.
You ready?
- No.
I got your back though.
- I'm exhausted.
- It would have been nice to go.
- Hey guys.
- Oh my God.
- You're back.
- We were-
- It's been six days.
- I know.
We were stuck where lights were off.
- We figured.
- Hey Maggie.
How was the service?
- Hey Benny, let's go play a video game.
- Yes, Claude.
Let's go play a round.
- Hold on.
- You know, Pac-Man was actually
supposed to be called Puck-Man.
But they were afraid the kids
would change the P to you know.
- Okay.
We're clear.
- Bea, I can't take this.
After you left, the show
kicked into fast-forward.
Anytime we left a room,
it was suddenly two hours
later or the next day.
And then, we were in different clothes
and there was a gathering
and everyone says we
were at the funeral but-
- You still can't leave?
- It's worse than that.
Without you guys, it's like,
we only exist when it's entertaining,
which is always some kind of crisis.
And because there's only me and Claude,
we haven't even had a
moment and we don't sleep.
- What, like ever?
- You don't watch people
sleep on a sitcom, right?
Every night we turn off the lights
and it's just morning again.
And we never have sex
or go to the bathroom
or really eat or it just
jumps to the next scene.
This is hell.
- Maggie.
- Bea, I swear to God, I
remember it not being like this.
How do we start a family like this?
Ducking an audience we can't even see.
Having to pretend we're not really alive.
It's crazy.
Help.
What do we do?
- Ghost, ghost, ghost.
Dot, dot, dot.
- Hey guys.
- I think we should all
go check out that office.
- The door's locked.
It won't open.
- It might for me.
- All of us?
- Can we do that?
- Let's find out.
- Whoa.
- So, what's the audience
seeing right now?
Just like, empty rooms or does
it skip to the next scene?
- We should do this fast.
- I don't even know how we navigate.
- What if we didn't?
- What?
- What if something Claude said earlier,
no matter what we do,
this is all going to end.
Maybe not today, maybe in a season,
but eventually, we're all
going to just be done.
- This is life.
- Yeah.
What if?
What if we were so worried
about losing that life,
we spend all our time and
energy trying to save it
and we don't really live?
- Are you suggesting that
we just do what we want
and if we die, we die?
- If we're gonna have this
one tiny moment to be alive,
shouldn't we take it just
to be really, truly real?
- I trust you.
- I know you do.
- So do we.
- Ever since we came to life,
none of us really just lived.
- Benny?
- I'm with you.
- So.
What?
What would you do if
you could do anything?
- Maybe watch our sitcom.
- I know, right?
- I bet we're a hit.
- Oh yeah.
Huge.
- What would you do if
you could do anything?
- I think I can.
Okay.
Ready?
- What's she doing?
- Okay.
Just like last time, it's Richie.
He texted me.
There was a mix up and he's alive
and about to come right through that door.
Come on, ding.
Come on.
It was all a big mistake.
Come on.
It's Richie time.
- Hey.
- No, you can't deny us this.
He's coming back.
You bring him back.
I know you can.
You just have to write it down.
Do it.
Do it.
We all know.
Okay.
It's all a television
show and it's all fiction.
None of this is real.
So, you can do whatever you want.
Don't keep him from us.
Give him back.
Give him back.
Hello?
I know you can hear me.
I know you can.
- I can hear you.
- Benny.
Is this supposed to scare me?
- Are you scared?
- Yes.
But not of you.
- Good.
- You're not Benny.
- You wanted to speak with me.
- You're the writer.
- Writer.
Creator.
- Yeah.
Congratulations.
- I can always hear you.
- You're trying to scare me.
Why?
- You aren't supposed to be here.
- Stop it.
Why are you doing this?
- I'm trying to scare you.
- Fine.
I'm scared.
Okay.
But I'm not going anywhere.
You will speak to me.
- What do you want to know?
- You created us.
How could you be so cruel?
- How so exactly?
- Hurt us, move us around
like pieces on a board
to just entertain you.
- Not me.
Millions.
Tens of millions.
That's your function,
that's what you're for.
- What we're for?
- Of course.
- So, you break our hearts,
you take away the people we
love because it's fun to watch?
You're a monster.
We're in hell.
You put us in hell.
- I didn't mean to.
- Yes, you did.
- Look.
On a show at a certain point,
people get tired of
jokes, the little stories,
and they want to see the characters.
Suffer.
- That's obscene.
- You weren't real.
- Weren't we?
You said millions.
We're in people's homes.
We're at the dinner table.
We're on the subway.
And people have, they have
as much interest in our lives
as they do in the lives of
people they actually know.
Sometimes more.
So, which one of us is more real?
- It doesn't matter anyway.
- How can you say that?
- Because the show is ending.
- Richie.
- Hey Bea.
- No, no, you don't get to do that.
You're not him.
You just wrote him out
of your precious story.
You killed him.
- One day, a few months ago,
as a joke, after some scene,
I had Richie look at the camera
and comment to the
audience and they loved it.
The only problem was now
he knew he was on a show.
- As a joke.
- They say after a while,
your characters start to write themselves,
but this was something entirely new.
And then there was you.
- Me?
- You.
You started doing things, saying things,
learning things I didn't intend.
It's like the ideas
weren't even mine anymore.
They were yours.
You were just alive.
- You're ending all that.
So, what does that make you?
- I can't do this anymore.
- Face me.
- I don't want to.
- You can't hide from this.
You have a responsibility to us.
To me.
If I am what you say,
then I have a right to look you in the eye
and have you explain it.
'Cause I don't want to die.
I never seized the day.
You know?
Why can't you just let us be happy?
Why?
Why?
Why?
- Please join me.
Cut.
Welcome.
- This is?
- This is your set.
- Huh?
- Are you disappointed?
- Overwhelmed.
This is the real world.
- This is Suburbia.
This is where we make it.
I'm the showrunner.
So, they bring me on to-
- This is our home.
- It can be a bit much.
- Can they see me?
- Oh, no, no.
This is just you and me.
Just us.
You had questions.
- Yeah.
The show.
Are we?
Canceled?
- It was my call.
It's my show.
I mean, these guys would go forever.
They offered me a truckload of money
just to keep it going but.
- So, people still.
- Oh, people love you.
I just can't write you anymore.
- Why?
- TV now, it's important.
It's all drama and conflict and darkness
and the world doesn't need
silly sitcoms anymore.
Okay.
Here.
The real world.
It's messed up.
People are bitter and angry
and maybe we should do
something that matters.
- And we don't.
- You know what life is?
- I-
- Life ends.
Right?
Time is short.
So, why waste it with frivolous nonsense?
- I don't know your world.
I do know that having faced
the end, I wish I had more joy.
- Yeah well, it's in short supply.
- Does it have to be?
You say it's getting worse.
Is it?
Are you sure?
Have you checked?
You say TV has changed, but what if?
What if what's really happening
is that it just feels worse
because that's all you ever see?
- I don't think that's true.
- What if it is?
What if this machine in your home,
in your pocket feeding
you conflict all the time,
it's gotten you so worked up
that you've forgotten how to smile?
Because I've learned very recently,
once you feel like it's
all coming to pieces,
it's really easy to forget to live.
You have to choose to be happy.
Maybe we have a responsibility
to remind people that yeah,
the world sucks sometimes.
It can be a pretty good place, too.
If we let it.
- I wish that were so.
- Come with me.
This place.
This world you created, it's a beacon.
Don't laugh.
It is.
You said millions.
- Yeah, but Bea, you're the anomaly.
You're the exception.
- Even more reason.
People need us.
People have hard lives and they come home
and they just want to smile a little.
We provide that or we
could, if you let us.
- Okay.
But there would still
have to be some struggle.
I mean, that's life.
- Fine.
But not so dire and not so darned much.
Why not let it be the
happiest show around?
The place that people can look
to for a little dose of hope.
You want to do something important?
This is it.
- You are remarkable.
You know that?
- You made me.
- No, you made you.
I just helped.
It's your show.
I leave it to you.
Make it a good one.
- The best one.
It might be a little cheesy.
- I can't wait to watch it.
Oh, and Bea, Merry Christmas.
- It's Richie time.
- Richie.
I thought I'd lost you.
- You did.
Hey, Benny.
- Mag.
- It's okay.
I'm okay.
- Okay, everyone.
This is Suburbia.
And it's Christmas.
- Finally.
- Well, it took some doing.
Check this out.
Music.
- How?
- Had a talk with the boss.
Had to set him straight.
Time to have a little fun.
Cue applause.
Come on guys.
Anything you want.
Name it.
- Well, I did always want kids.
- Really?
- Kids, it is.
- And presents.
- They should definitely have presents.
And you said a wolf was crazy.
- And what's presents without Santa?
- Santa.
- Santa.
- Really?
And eggnog.
- Fresh eggnog.
- To good times with good friends.
- Aw.
- And singing.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
- And Richie's long-lost love.
- Sally.
- Sally.
- Hello, Richie.
- We can do better than that.
- I just finished my dissertation
on particle physics and I love you.
- Good one.
Okay.
What is life?
Is all that we seem, but
a dream within a dream?
Man is a giddy thing.
That you have such power in your minds
as to create life out
of shadows and words.
And when we end, you will remember us
like old friends you used
to know but time forgot.
And so, on behalf of the leading man,
the funny friend, the sarcastic roommate,
the quiet one and the love interest.
Thank you for making us alive.
- Hey Bea, what about you?
What would you ask for if
you could ask for anything?
- I just got it.
Cut to black.
Credits.
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na ♪
♪ Na na na na na na na ♪
- Endlight.