A Chinese Tall Story (2005) - full transcript

Five hundred years ago,
a legend in Western Regions...

has it that a monk and his three disciples...

would travel from the Central Plains
to the city of Shache...

to retrieve a bundle of
centuries-old scriptures.

According to the legend, only this monk
could translate those scriptures.

Everyone would be enlightened
by the scriptures...

and stop the senseless warring.

They would follow this monk to the
Western Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss...

where there is no war but eternal peace.

Master Tripitaka has come for the scriptures!

Hurrah!



It's Master Tripitaka!

Great! They've finally arrived in Shache.

—You've got to be kidding me.
—Oh no.

Song and dance, that's Master's thing.

Wukong, why are you staring at a pillar?

Someone once told me
the best way to keep a secret...

is to tell it to a hole, then seal it with mud.

I wanted to tell this hole my secret.

But before I opened my mouth,
a centipede bit me.

Tell it to a tree up in the mountains,
not to a pillar!

But you sure look depressed,
and it's not because of the centipede.

Yes, but I don't know why.

Maybe there are demons?

You're nuts.
Wukong has penetrating insight.



If there were demons, he'd have seen them
when we entered the city.

Makes sense. Everyone was out there.

There wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

The pretty girls weren't hiding either.

Adults and kids alike were dancing.

Kids?

We didn't see any kids all morning.

Oh, no!

Tripitaka, if we don't hand you
over to the Tree Spirit...

in exchange for our kidnapped
children before dawn...

he'll feed them to
the Millennium Bug Demon.

I guess this isn't your lucky day.

Yeah!

What impudence!

Master!

—How dare you harm my master!
—Wukong.

I told you not to lose your temper,
have you forgotten?

Let me convince them with kindness.

All you do is yak about virtue and morality.

—And now you want to act cool?
—Hey, show some respect!

Wuneng, I know you're prejudiced
against me, but I'm confident.

Just watch me move them with my words.

Citizens of Shache...

Sir, why do you bother?

Why join in the fracas when you can't
even hold your hands steady?

See how this dagger is just hanging there.
It's a sorry sight, don't you think?

How dare you attack my master!
Take that!

Your aim is atrocious as always.

If we feed on Tripitaka,
we shall have eternal life...

and rule the world forever!

Allow me.

What... do... you... want?

Let's... settle... this... amicably.

Watch out!

Did I say something wrong?

Want to play with me?
You're not good enough!

Your hair doesn't work?
Try some of mine.

I almost forgot.

I no longer have to pluck my hair
to summon my little monkeys.

I think, therefore I am.
That's the way!

Transform!

—Wukong!
—Wukong!

Wukong! Are you okay?

Master! Take care of yourself!

Piggy, you're a good boy
and I worry about you the most.

Piggy, you're dumb
and your kungfu sucks.

Having a kind heart is useless.
You'll only get yourself killed.

How dare you look down on me!
I'll show you!

—Piggy!
—Come back!

—Wukong...
—Will you shut up?

Listen. This Sea-Calming Needle
will take you to safety.

I'm not leaving.

I said I'd convince them with
kindness, didn't I?

Not again!
Your "huhs" are really annoying.

—Huh?
—Stop it!

—What do you want?
—You and your "huhs"!

Since you like saying it so much...

go on!

Do you think you can placate me
with cotton candy just because I like it?

They are gold threads, not cotton candy.

I'm going on a killing spree today.
Get out of my way.

Wukong, stop playing the bully.

You can't fool me. Let me go.

Listen to me.

If you want the Gold Staff to obey you...

say "I love you for ten thousand years."

If you want it to stop,
say "I don't love you."

Wukong, put me down.

Listen to me, put me down.

Go!

Master!

What's been going on the past six months?

It's either been raining stones
or strange eggs.

And now there's this idiot.

He's no idiot. He's Sun Wukong,
the Casanova!

How do you know?

Can't you see his Gold Staff?

But what fine skin and
fair complexion for a monkey.

Is he the one who fell in love with
the Purple Fairy five hundred years ago?

Don't be silly.

Casanova? What a joke.

What do you know?
Women go crazy for guys like him.

If Heavens gave me another chance,
I'd tell this girl...

"I love you."

If there must be a limit to
this relationship, I hope it lasts...

ten thousand years!

Shut up!

Since Sun Wukong is here,
Tripitaka must be somewhere around.

Foolish Ping!

Coming!

My name is Luo Ping.

What?

My name is Luo Ping, not Foolish Ping!

If you're not a fool,
why is your daughter a weirdo?

Get her daughter to guard him.

That thing? Are you sure?

She's perfect. All the other girls
salivate at the sight of this monkey.

Her daughter's the only one
who won't find him attractive.

He won't be interested in her either.

Excuse me...

Why did you wake up so soon?
Is it because of my beauty?

What? Are you trying to charm me
with your sexy voice?

—Huh?
—I may be pretty but I'm no pushover.

Hell hath no fury like a beauty scorned,
haven't you heard?

Don't think I'll fall for you
just because you're Casanova.

I'm cold as ice.
No man has ever captured my heart.

No, listen to me, Miss Yue Meiyan.

How did you know my name?

I know I'm famous in the demon world,
but don't you plan on falling for me...

because you're dead meat
as soon as you do.

You won't escape for
the next hundred thousand years.

You dropped something.

I think you dropped it.

Shut up!

—I didn't say anything.
—I just knew you'd say that.

You won't be able to mesmerise me
with your silence.

Evil and good don't mix.

I'm evil through and through.
No goodness can touch me.

—Can you let me go then?
—Of course not!

You could be lusting after me and
outrage my modesty.

Chances of that happening are really slim.

I saw through you
and you're ashamed, right?

You look like an educated man
and not totally unscrupulous.

Fine, I'll wager my virginity on that!

These are gold threads,
only a woman's saliva can melt them.

How dare you!

Trying to take advantage of me?

I'm not afraid. Evil folks like us
don't prey on the weak.

And we mean what we say.

What impudence!

How dare you imitate my sexy mouth!

I'm sorry, I'm not as sexy as you.

Miss Yue Meiyan. Your name means beauty,
but I really think it's a misnomer.

—You...
—Sorry!

Goodness, I almost fell for it.

No wonder they say
righteous people are cunning.

They were absolutely right.

Stop trying to upset me.
I have zero feelings for you.

If I get upset, that'd mean
I have feelings for you.

So not only am I not upset,
I'll even set you free.

Yummy.

I'm really thirsty.
Can I have some water, please?

Yes, of course.
We may be evil, but we're not crooks.

—Why should I mistreat you?
—Thanks.

What was that for?

Stop trying to seduce me with good manners!

I know what you're up to.

You'll pretend to be too weak
and I'll be forced to feed you water.

And when I hold you up, you'll lean over.
What am I to do then?

I can't push you away but if I don't,
you'll take advantage of me.

Just give me some water.
I promise I'll drink it myself.

—Why should I trust you?
—You win! I can't out-talk you.

—What must I do to get some water?
—Stop asking!

—If I stop, will you give me water?
—I said stop asking!

Even Buddha would get upset!

You said you wouldn't get fresh with me,
yet your lips came so close to mine.

You're thinking of kissing me, you low-life!

I just want some water.
Will you give it to me?

Fine! You can kiss me once.

And then you have to let me go.
Otherwise, I'll kill you.

Darn it!

Now I understand why
my disciples find me annoying.

Good for you. You restrained
yourself and you didn't...

I'm sorry, my mistake.
Just stop talking, please.

Since you've admitted your mistake,
I forgive you. Fine.

I'll get you some water,
but don't try to run away.

Otherwise, I'll break your legs!

Who is it?

What an enormous egg.
I wonder who laid it.

How can you be so ugly on the outside,
yet so beautiful on the inside?

Don't flatter me, you're disgusting.

—Don't flirt with me!
—Me? Flirt with you?

What did you just say?

I said I wanted water.

Are you playing tricks with me?

Why are you doing this to me?

Are you afraid now?

"Watch out!"

That means you know you're in the wrong.

You don't know sorcery?

Say "I love you for
ten thousand years", quick!

You low-life!

—I beg of you!
—Fine!

I love you for ten thousand years!

Stop!

—Stop!
—I don't love you anymore!

Stop!

It only works when you say it
while holding the staff.

Hurry up, say it!

You're so heartless. I said I loved you
and that'll never change.

—We evil folks...
—I know.

I'm not asking you to say it to me.
Say it to the staff.

That's more like it.
I don't love you anymore!

Stop fighting! I, Tripitaka, am here!

You're Tripitaka?

Get Tripitaka!

What's going on?

Whose troops are these?
How dare they attack us!

Wake up! Don't die on me!

Mum, don't die!

I won't die, I was faking it.

Now listen to me.

This Watershed Pearl can carry two.

Take Tripitaka to some place
where you can be alone.

Find an opportunity and eat him.

Then you'll live forever and
enjoy eternal youth.

When those scoundrels die,
no one will bully you.

I'm not afraid of those bullies.

I know I'm ugly,
so people ridicule you for that.

Nonsense.
You're the prettiest thing on earth.

Remember, find a chance to eat Tripitaka.

I have to go.

Mom, I can't do it.

I've fallen in love with him.

I never thought
my husband would be a monk.

Die!

I'm off!

My Lord, we've lost Tripitaka.

We have his disciples.
I'm sure he'll come back for them.

Who made this Watershed Pearl?

A tiny poke and it burst.

We'd have been fine if you didn't
stop to ask for directions.

It was pitch-black in the ocean.

What's wrong with asking
a fish for directions?

Who knew it'd burst the pearl by accident?

—It was a lobster, not a fish.
—You should have told me sooner!

The evil and good
really can't communicate.

Lord Chancellor Tortoise, it's you.

What happened to you?

This is all Wukong's fault.

He stole the Sea-Calming Needle
and upset the balance of the ocean!

Now, the Dragon King throws up all day
and we have to move ashore!

Isn't that our Sea-Calming Needle?

Yes, that's Wukong's gold staff.

But he's in trouble now.
I hope you can help me save him.

I could use some help myself!
Give us back our needle!

Lord Chancellor Tortoise,
that's not the proper procedure.

—What procedure?
—This is now Wukong's gold staff.

Rightfully, I should return it to him
first before you ask him for it.

If he consents, he'll return it to you.
That's the proper procedure.

He stole our needle and
we have to seek his consent?

Stealing is a matter concerning the law...

which has nothing to do with
our current situation.

God dang it!
Just give me back our needle!

God didn't steal your needle.
You really should leave him out of this.

Let go of him!

Give me back our needle, or I'll kill you!

Again, that isn't the proper procedure.

—Not again.
—Of course.

I don't have your needle. She has it.

Why are you taking away her needle
but killing me?

If you kill me, she may not return it to you.

But if you spare me,
there's still a chance she may return it.

So the decision to kill me
lies with her, not you.

Right! If I kill you, it's because
good and evil don't mix.

You're a tortoise and I'm a lizard.
We're both demons.

If I don't do something, no one will.

What are you waiting for then?

All right!

Kill him! Kill his mother!

Should I kill him or his mother?

Kill him! Hurry up! Kill his mother!

I have nothing against his mother.
Why should I kill her?

Darn it! Are you going to do it or not?

I'm not killing his mother. Besides,
I don't know her or where she lives.

That's right.
It's difficult to locate my mother.

Darn you!

Lord Chancellor Tortoise!

Tripitaka! You killed
my Lord Chancellor Tortoise?

No, I had nothing to do with it!

Kill him!

I love you for ten thousand years!

What's the matter? We're on the run.
Can you show some emotions?

Why did we have to flee?

With all those seafood coming at us,
I had to fight them off.

Exactly. Why did you have to start a fight?

Don't you evil folks
ever reason with anyone?

—Must you always use violence?
—Reason?

You just reasoned that tortoise to death.

I had nothing to do with his death.

You had everything to do with his death.

You last sentence was so harsh.

"It's difficult to locate my mother."

It's true, my mother
is always moving house.

Now we must turn to the heavens for help.

You're turning yourself in?

I'm an upright guy
and I know right from wrong.

I'm not like you. I have nothing to fear.

Great! You've got guts. I'll go with you.

Don't be nosy when we get there.
I'll do the talking.

We're headed for the heavens,
but we don't know the way.

Can you please take us?

Hold on tight!

We're dead meat!

"Southern Heaven Gate."

What should we do?

Let's go over and take a look.

Don't go! Come back!

Hello, anyone home?

How did you get inside?

Come out now, hurry!

Oh, I'm inside?

Come out!

It's fun in here!

What a gigantic ink stone!

Tripitaka! You have
some nerve coming here!

Be quiet! I told you to hold your tongue.

The Four Heavenly Kings.

Sun Wukong is in trouble.
I've come to ask for help.

And if I don't help you,
are you going to kill me?

You know I've never killed
anything or anyone.

How do you explain
the blood on your clothes then?

It's Lord Chancellor Tortoise's blood.

So the Dragon King didn't wrong you then!

I had nothing to do with his death.

How did he die?

I talked him to death.

I mean...

See? You kept saying it,
now I'm starting to believe it.

Well, excuse me.

You said your conscience was clear.
So why are you afraid of them?

Who says I'm afraid?

Trying to start a fight? Seize him!

I love you for ten thousand years!

How dare you attack
the Heavenly Kings! Kill that demon!

Heavenly King Zengzhang is dead!

Do you want to get arrested?

—We're off again?
—Tripitaka, you actually killed...

I'm sorry to get blood all over you.

Let's break up.

Good and evil don't mix.
Let's go our separate ways.

Break up? You're really heartless!

I saved your life
and you're throwing me out?

You're asking me?

You're always beating people up
and now you've killed the Heavenly Kings.

You're pushing the blame to me?
You started it.

Me? Push the blame?

I kept quiet when you men were talking.
I gave you all the respect you wanted.

You were the one who said
you weren't afraid. Such arrogance.

It'd have angered anyone. You tripped him
and that was why they got mad.

I tripped him because...

Leave.

Don't you love me anymore?

I've never loved you.

I don't believe you!

Read my lips.

—I don't love you.
—Say that again!

I don't love you! Leave!

Go on!

Come on, let's not be mad at each other.
Please love me.

I'm a monk.

I know nothing about being in love.

I use my love to help all beings.

That includes me then.

Except you!

Do you really hate me that much?

Yes.

Don't you care about me at all?

No.

Continue being a monk then.

Three words.

"I love you." Say it!

No! Have you ever seen
a monk fall in love?

Or a monk having a girlfriend?
I won't say it!

Say it!

Over my dead body!

All right, I get it.

You're nuts for making me say it.

I'll wait a little longer.
I'm sure you'll come looking for me.

I think I've waited long enough.

He really went looking for me,
but in the wrong direction!

If he comes back and doesn't see me,
he'll be heartbroken.

What will he do without me?

I'll cook him a lovely vegetarian dinner.

I must make this work!

I'll give it my all!

I'm starving.
Let me conjure something up.

I love you for ten thousand years.

No way, I'm vegetarian.

I'll take it up with Wukong.

The Five Great Sects shall kill her!

The Five Great Sects?

I'm going to eat you.
Can you at least react?

I'm not afraid.

You wretch. Fallen out of love, huh?

Got dumped and now
you don't care to live, right?

Fine! Let me make it easy for you.

Stop! Spare her!

You scum are worse than demons.

Eat me, I'm Tripi...

Hush!

Get lost! I don't want to see you!

Everyone, I'm Tripitaka.

You're so stupid!
You're asking to be their dinner!

You...

you're sacrificing yourself
for this ugly wretch?

Let her go, gorgeous.

So both master and disciple are ladies' men.

I don't believe you're that noble.

—Unless you crawl between Red Boy's legs.
—Yeah!

Listen to him and
I'll break up with you again!

Come on!

Red Boy never changes his underwear.

Hats off to you
if you can survive the stench.

I dare you!

See how Tripitaka treats his woman.

Tripitaka, hats off to you.

You held your breath and did it.

Actually, I can see that
you're compassionate people.

So in future, you must love each other
and love thy enemies.

—What if our enemies attack us?
—Just don't retaliate.

Move them with your love.

—What if they try to kill you?
—Never fight back.

Make them lay down their weapons
with your love.

Tripitaka, you've got some nerves
killing the Four Heavenly Kings!

No, he didn't! I killed them!

That's enough. Stop protecting me.

Honey, look how loving they are!

Tripitaka, I'm behind you on this one.

—Exactly! All the way!
—Impudent demons.

Whoever supports him,
I shall give it to him good!

What are you staring at? Don't try me.

I won't fight you. I'll move you with love.

I love you.

Here I come!

Go easy on me.

Who's next?

Take it easy.

We have a power stronger than
their swords, and that is our lives.

Right, Tripitaka?

I was only kidding.

Here, we have hundreds of thousands...

I love you for ten thousand years.

Calm down!

Watch out!

Darn it!

Out of my way!

I went on a rampage.

How can I call myself
a compassionate monk?

Please give him some time alone.

You two who feigned death,
and the heavenly troops.

—Get out of my sight!
—Keep it from Tripitaka.

Trust that wretch
to come up with this ploy.

We're in for a Tripitaka feast!

Quit blaming yourself.

I know you killed because of me.

I know I'm a burden. I'll get going soon.

If you still want to save Sun Wukong,
go talk to the demons.

They seem loyal enough.

I'm off.

You can't bear to let me go?

I always thought the heavens
was kind and compassionate.

But what I saw today was
indiscriminate killing of the innocent.

Previously, we stood on
opposite ends of good and evil.

But now that I've become a murderer.

I'm finally an evil-doer, too.

Right. From now on, we'll work together.

We'll get the demons to save Sun Wukong...

and have him join us in our evil ways.

Yes.

Let us strike palms
and set off to rescue Wukong.

What is it?

I'll go with you to rescue Sun Wukong.

But remember,
the next time you ask me to leave...

I won't give you another chance.

Deal.

Though I lied to him,
it was for his own good.

I told the demons that
Tripitaka had been poisoned...

and that he'd only be
fit for consumption after a month.

I hope I can keep the truth
from them long enough...

for them to help Tripitaka
rescue Sun Wukong.

It's hard to be human,
but even harder to be a demon.

You must cultivate a demonic charm...

so that even at first glance,
your demonic qualities shine through.

All right!

Do you know how to be a bully?

Do you know how to be a bully?

Do you know how to be a bully?

You're retaliating? Fine!
I'll show you what I've got!

Stop fidgeting, I'm applying ointment on you.

What are you doing?

This is killing me!

Women of that sort have no shame...

thrusting and swivelling their hips
with a stranger in public.

I'd never do that.

I'd only perform a passionate number...

with the man I love under a star-lit sky
in the silence of the night.

Meiyan, Green Snake taught me
a really cool dance yesterday.

—I'll teach you.
—Not interested.

Did I say something wrong?
She hasn't spoken all morning.

Take that!

He may have punched me really hard...

but I felt his wild masculinity deeply.

So every night
while my bald lion is sleeping...

I'd sit by him like a lamb...

—And admire him in silence.
—Take that.

I've chained you two together.

The competition will only stop
when one of you begs for mercy.

Understand?

Ready, go!

You spat on me?

I love you for ten thousand years.
Help me carry the buckets.

Darn it, that's cheating!

I won!

Yeah, by spitting!

Time to make my man a toupee
and send him into the world.

I've convinced them to rescue Sun Wukong!

You're so dashing.

She's looking cuter by the day.

Don't look me up again
until you've divorced your wife!

Have you seen Meiyan?

I think she's gone to gather firewood.
It may snow today.

Get in.

Cuddle up if you're cold.

I fooled Tripitaka into believing that
I was teaching him Silkworm Power.

—He's quite good at it.
—As if!

He looks like a football
dressed in your battle gear!

Spin silk!

Spin silk!

Again!

I spin silk with a vengeance!

Spin silk!

Just like this!

I look more like spitting
than spinning silk.

But for Wukong, I must persevere.

It's you!

It's me.

This is a robbery!

I thought we were friends, how could you?

Well, you just took my stuff.
Give me back my knife.

Sorry.

Once a demon, always a demon.

You're the demon.

I'm human.
We left Earth before the Ice Age.

So that makes me your ancestor.

My flying saucer malfunctioned
while travelling through time...

so it landed here.

What rubbish! You're my ancestor?
Do I look like an idiot?

What's so strange about that?
We've been here in the past...

to a place called Egypt.

We even left behind
some pyramidal transmitters.

It's been more than a month. The poison
in Tripitaka should have been purged.

Eat him and we'll live forever.

Meiyan, you have a visitor.

Mom, how did you find me?

The Earth Deity told me.
Have you eaten Tripitaka yet?

Have you?

He gave you the slip?

Oh, I know. You've fallen for him.

But why?

He was the first person
to address me by my name.

Oh, please! You had to fall for
a monk, of all people.

—He has resumed secular life.
—So does he love you then?

He has even become a demon now.

Aren't you something!

You've converted Tripitaka!
That's some achievement!

We used to live here too.

But because of war,
we went to another planet...

to find a land of peace.

I thought things would improve
after we left...

but you're still fighting.

If it's so wonderful,
why did you run away from home?

Of course I have my reasons!

I don't like the guy
my father wants me to marry.

I want the freedom to love
whoever I want.

Have you found him then?

Yes. I was sitting inside the egg
and he poked his head in to look at me.

His soulful eyes captivated me.
It's a bit like yours.

You're not talking about me, are you?

I have no feelings for you whatsoever.

I've heard that before.

If you don't believe me, try kissing me.

—I know you'd say that!
—Or I can kiss you.

A monk chatting up chicks?

You ugly tramp, you have no shame!

Ugly? Speak for yourself!

Save your breath. Kill her!

What's going on?

Mom!

What's the matter?

She wants to take Tripitaka away!

Kill her!

Yeah!

What demon is this?

Mom.

Look.

You think you can take me?

Witness my transformation!

You'll never know which is the real me!

—Are you scared now?
—Fire!

Darn it. I duplicated myself.

How did everyone get me?

This is too much!

Invincible Wheels of Wind and Fire!

We had nothing to do with it!

Really, we had nothing to do with it!

She was the one who said
we should eat Tripitaka.

—What did you say?
—It's true!

She told us to pass off as
the heavenly troops to kill the demons.

No, no!

Listen to me.

No? She even taught us
how to rescue Sun Wukong...

so that he could kill you!

Yes, I can vouch for that!

I can vouch for that, too!

Me, too!

No, I was lying to them.

I'm here. Let them go.

Yes, Princess Meiyan.

You can't go there alone.
I'll come with you!

—Get lost.
—No! I won't!

Let go!

There's nothing wrong with being ugly.

But why did you lie to me?

Why?

Mom...

I'm not your mother.
My daughter died at birth.

I found you at the riverbank
and brought you home...

so they laughed at me
for picking up a piece of trash.

I've got to go.

No!

I may be ugly, but don't abandon me!

This was next to you when I found you.

I'm not garbage!
Don't just throw me away!

I'm not some nobody! I have a name!

I'm Yue Meiyan!

I have a name!

I have a name!

We'll soon reach Shache!

You'll be able to rescue Sun Wukong soon!

"Is there no way in this mortal world..."

"to embrace both my faith
and my beloved?"

I love you for ten thousand years!
I love...

"I don't feel like fighting.
I'm taking the day off."

This is no time to go on strike.

General Ba,
the route is too narrow and dark.

It's impossible to drop
the Doomsday Bomb on the Tree Spirit.

High-speed flying is too dangerous.

But if he slows down,
the Tree Spirit will get him.

Watch out!

No, we must retreat!

Your Highness. Morale is low.

No one wants to
fight the monk's battle...

and help him obtain the scriptures.

Your Highness, we can hook up with
the time tunnel anytime.

If we don't seize the opportunity,
we may never find it again.

I'm not fighting this battle
for Tripitaka, but for all humanity.

Our ancestors thought leaving
could change everything.

But look. Nothing's changed.

All hopes and cultures are at stake.

Run!

What's going on?

Your Highness,
a signal from the time tunnel!

I love you for ten thousand years.

Where are you?
I love you for ten thousand years.

I love you for ten thousand years.
I love...

I didn't mean you!

Where's your gold staff?

I love you for ten thousand years!

Over here!

Let's rescue Sun Wukong.

Who's that?

Sir, reports are coming in about
a warrior charging underground.

Give her the Doomsday Bomb.

Your master, Tripitaka, sent me.

But you're inside the Tree Spirit's mouth.

How can you help us?

I love you for ten thousand years!

You're not leaving?

I've gotten used to it here
and I have unfinished business.

If you decide to stay,
there's no turning back.

I didn't know
you were the princess then.

Please pardon my inhospitality.

That's all right.

It was a pleasure knowing you.

Have you found him then?

Yes. I was sitting inside the egg.

His soulful eyes captivated me.

I promised you I'd rescue Sun Wukong...

but I also said I wouldn't give
you another chance.

Wukong, when we get to
the Celestial Court...

I'll tell Jade Emperor...

you had nothing to do with
the Heavenly Kings' deaths.

I'll take full responsibility for it.

Why are we...

They were our sins from our previous lives...

soon to be swept away by the wind.

Let's go.

I've come to beg for forgiveness.

Why do you say so?

We've looked into it and found out...

you were not responsible for
the deaths of the Heavenly Kings.

What?

I've come to turn myself in.

Everything was my doing.

I killed Lord Chancellor Tortoise
and the Four Heavenly Kings.

Tripitaka had nothing to do with it.

You have committed
the most heinous of crimes.

Though you are not one of us,
we will not tolerate violation of our laws.

I hereby sentence you to death!

Do you have any final words?

There was once
a girl who loved me deeply...

but I didn't know to cherish her.

It was only after I lost her,
did I learn the meaning of regret.

—The sufferings of a mortal life...
—That's enough.

We know it by heart by now.

Do you know why I recite it every day?

Because I'm haunted by regrets.

Just like how you chant the Heart Sutra
whenever you make a mistake.

Sir, Jade Emperor has ordered
the execution of the prisoner.

Wukong.

No, you've already attained enlightenment.

Don't make another mistake.

Let me reason with Jade Emperor.

What's there to reason?

Someone has taken the fall.

Turn a blind eye to it.

What is there to reason?

Tramps like her
perish by the dozen every hour.

Great!

You may be omnipotent,
but you do know what love is?

Five hundred years ago...

Sun Wukong wreaked havoc
in the Celestial Court.

Today, it's my turn!

I wish I was that cool back then.

Tripitaka assaulted the heavenly officials!

Meiyan, I've come to rescue you.

Destroy the gold staff!

No!

Tripitaka.

Repent, or death awaits.

Release him.

Such impudence!

Want me to kill you?

No, please calm down.

What's an old fart doing in a skirt?

Let go of him, now!

Yeah, it's a cleaver all right.

You bunch of imbeciles.
Is it a sin to love someone?

Killing the Four Heavenly Kings out of
self-defence and her love for Tripitaka...

makes it a crime...

but it's more than justifiable
for them to kill her instead?

Is it a crime?

Is it a sin to love someone?

No.

You're married to the Queen Mother,
of course you'd say that.

Tripitaka, be a man, get up!

I know...

Buddha.

Sun Wukong, you committed
insubordination out of love for your master.

That I can understand.

But if you think killing Jade Emperor
will solve all the problems...

you're no different from them
hurting Tripitaka.

Buddha, please save Master.

I shall accept all consequences.

Jade Emperor, let me handle this.

As you wish.

Tripitaka, why do you wish to
save this woman?

She has done so much for me...

If you do save her, what then?

I'll stay with her.

Is this what you want?

If I were to tell you, you can
only be with her till sundown...

what would you say to that?

I'm willing.

For this reason, your love is limited.

Think about this,
love doesn't have to bear fruit.

If you're not hung up about that,
it will never end.

I believe this woman
was prepared to sacrifice herself...

and never thought she'd have
the chance to be with you.

Only a love that asks for nothing
is truly everlasting.

I'm back.

Tripitaka is not free from desires
and is not ready for deification.

He needs to start all over again.
Do you understand?

You have violated Heavenly Laws.

I can spare you a death sentence,
but you must still be punished.

Do you accept the punishment?

Buddha said we needed to overcome
eighty-one trials and tribulations.

Wukong is waiting for us
at the Five Finger Mountain.

Let's go find him.

"In life, the greatest distance..."

"is not the fact that
you are oblivious to my love..."

"even when I stand before you."

"But the fact that we can't be together..."

"even when we love each other."

No, I won't ride you.

Not in this life or any other.

What is it?

What are you doing, lying on the ground?

Get up, will you?

Get up!

How can I ride you if you don't get up?

You've become really petty.

Meiyan...!

I'm only kidding!