9½ Weeks (1986) - full transcript
An erotic story about a woman, the assistant of an art gallery, who gets involved in an impersonal affair with a man. She barely knows about his life, only about the sex games they play, so the relationship begins to get complicated.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
MAN: Hey, sweetheart.
How about I dry you off?
Whoa. Whoo!
Hey, babe!
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
TED:
Don't hit me. Ow!
This is a message from Sinclair.
He's coming to your party tonight.
That's great.
So, what do we have now?
We have a critic, 2 clients, 3 painters.
It should be 1 client, 2 clients and 3 more
clients, and Molly in the back room.
You should know how to do business.
Give me a break here.
[WOMEN LAUGH]
I'm calling out for coffee.
Who wants what?
Um, I want a chocolate croissant,
a Sweet 'N Low and a coffee light.
Okay. You, Liz?
Hot tea with milk.
Boss-man?
Um, I'll have a hot water with lemon
and Sweet 'N Low. Don't let them charge.
[CHUCKLES]
Slimming down, tubs, hmm?
I don't fast to lose weight.
I fast to save money.
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
ELIZABETH:
Every single time.
If we don't sell any paintings,
we both go in the back.
-Get the dip?
-Wine cheddar. Got it last night.
So, what do we have now?
Olives, crackers, pâté.
What else?
Uh, French ticklers, Spanish fly,
margarine.
-He's kind of shy. You can't do that.
-All right, so all right.
-Bye, sweetie.
-So, what's his name, Michael?
[CHATTERING]
Oh, my God.
Yuck.
What's his name, Sinclair?
He's vegetarian.
String beans, romaine lettuce,
asparagus, carrots, uh....
[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
[IN ENGLISH]
Okay, all right. Okay.
No more. Free, free, free!
No charge. Okay, goodbye.
Hello.
Imagine one of those
caught in your throat?
Imagine the songs they sang?
Oh. Such a romantic.
BUTCHER: Can I help you ladies?
-Half a dozen little birds.
BUTCHER:
Lady, you clean me out.
What are you going to do with them?
What do you think we're going to do?
Eat them.
We plan to give them a proper burial.
[LAUGHING]
That's very funny.
Seriously.
ELIZABETH: Or maybe we'll raise them as
pets and then fly them from the rooftops.
-Shh. Would you wrap them up?
BUTCHER: Yes, ma'am.
ELIZABETH: Just wrap them up.
BUTCHER: Yes, ma'am.
MOLLY:
Wrap them up, let's go.
Let's see. Hmm, what else?
Oh, fortune cookies. About eight?
No, um, 12.
I'll just wrap them up with the rest.
Say, cab!
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Stop, I'm pregnant!
Cab!
[TIRES SCREECH]
MOLLY:
This thing's at eight, huh?
Yeah, eight.
[PHONE RINGING ON TV]
Why don't you get comfortable
and I'll get it.
Come on, shmuck, take your shirt off.
Come on, I haven't got all night.
I'll never let you talk me
into giving a dinner party again.
It's good for you,
shows you're opening up.
I'm fine.
Next you'll be putting an ad
in the personals columns.
Molly.
"Beaut--" No.
"Divorced White Female.
Beautiful, statuesque blonde.
Witty, cultured, owns own vibrator...."
Oh, Lizzy.
I know you don't have one.
Not vous.
-You are the grossest...
MOLLY: Ha, ha.
...most perverted...
-...over-sexed, disgusting--
-Michael.
Oh, baby.
Oh. Michael, yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
[MOANING]
[CHUCKLES]
SINCLAIR:
He's eating Volkswagens.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
And I said to his press agent:
"How do I review a piece like that?"
MAN 1: A Volkswagen tasting party?
-Michael, a little more wine? Uh, Michael?
WOMAN 1: Leave your picture and résumé,
honey, we'll call you.
WOMAN 2:
Anyone can do this with his or her nose.
[ALL LAUGH]
[ALL CHATTERING]
WOMAN 2: She did it!
WOMAN 1: Ta-da!
Have you guys heard of this artist?
-He's new.
WOMAN 3: Is this a joke?
Come on. Please everyone.
Let her tell the story.
WOMAN 4:
Elizabeth does not lie.
-She's blushing.
-I'm not.
There's going to be nudity
and violence in this one.
A guy. He's an artist.
-He's done a series of portraits.
WOMAN 1: What kind of portraits?
Rectal portraits.
[ALL LAUGH]
I know this man.
He pulls down his drawers...
...puts the brush up his bum
and paints portraits in a sort of...
...jack-knifed position.
[ALL LAUGHING]
It's the most amazing thing.
Sort of the way you write
your reviews, isn't it, Sinclair?
GUESTS: Ooh!
-Charming.
She's very charming.
MAN 1:
To bow-Iegged women.
[CROWD MURMURING]
[BAND PLAYING
WINSTON GRENNAN'S "SAVIOR"]
Give I some wisdom, let I be wise
Let I be wise
Let I be wise, wise, wise, wise, wise
Savior, oh Lord
I need some wisdom to open my eyes
I want to climb to the mountaintop
To see it in your eye
I just want to live wise
So I can live wise
I just want to live life in your eyes
Oh, Lord
Savior
It's only your wisdom that I know in me
-It's beautiful.
WOMAN: Isn't it? Yes.
It's a beautiful shawl.
It's a French shawl. Very old.
-How much?
-$300.
Is it really that much?
It's rock bottom, sweetheart. $300.
Three hundred's a good price.
Thank you.
So close to your light
I just want to live in your heart
Savior
I would like to be moving on
Savior
Will you move me on?
To where the eagle flies
To where the eagle flies
Love, help them, mm
Who search out their ways alone
Seeking wisdom like a child, oh
I just want to live wise
So I can live wise
I just want to live life in your eyes
Oh, Lord
[ELECTRONIC CHICKEN CLUCKING]
What is that?
Aah! That's a baby.
[LAUGHING]
-How much is it?
-Uh, for you, 40 big ones.
How about $30?
$35.
-How about 30?
-Okay.
Every time I see you
you're buying chickens.
Thirty?
Every time I see you you're--
What?
You're smiling at me.
Smiling at you?
Thank you.
So close to your heart
I just want to live life in his light
Savior, savior, savior, savior
[WOMAN SINGING IN ITALIAN]
JOHN:
This place has a lot of history.
The chair you're sitting in...
...was a guy named Gino Gambini...
...got his brains blown out...
...while he was eating the same thing
you're eating, linguine con cozze.
There was another guy.
This was earlier, this was in 1963.
Did you ever hear of, uh, Vito Possolipo?
-No, I haven't.
-No?
-Would you like some more?
-I do like this wine.
Vito Possolipo was sitting right over there,
where that baby is.
He was minding his own business,
he was having a dish of zitti al forno.
They came in....
-You don't want any?
-No. Then what'd they do?
Vito Possolipo came in....
October 31 st.
Halloween night, sitting in the back
minding his own business...
-...they came in, gunned him down.
-My God.
I mean, this place is, like, uh,
what they call a family restaurant.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Listen, uh...
...do you recognize this?
John.
It's for you.
Don't say I didn't warn you, okay?
-Is this yours?
-No, it's a friend's.
Thanks.
It's beautiful.
It's so beautiful.
It's nice.
[TOY DUCK SQUEAKS]
Is this your duck?
You're taking a hell of a lot
for granted.
Am I?
Either that or you're practicing
to be a maid at Holiday Inn.
Do you like music?
Some.
[BILLIE HOLIDAY'S
"STRANGE FRUIT" PLAYING]
Southern trees
Bear strange fruit
Blood on the leaves
And blood at the roots
It's Billie Holiday.
What do you do?
I buy and I sell money.
Some people call it arbitrage.
[DUCK SQUEAKS]
What do you call it?
I call it a living.
So you sleep with a telephone
under your pillow?
No, I don't do that.
I, uh, used to do that.
I don't have to do that now.
But your business
is very risky, isn't it?
[CHUCKLES]
It's not any riskier than you
coming here.
Out here where
there's no neighbors around.
I mean,
we hardly know each other.
I mean, I don't know you.
You really don't know me.
I mean, there's no taxi cab
waiting on the curb.
There's no phone booth outside.
There's no one to hear you
if you called out.
There's just, uh...
...you and me.
I don't like this.
I want to go home.
I was just kidding.
Now.
Right.
We'll put this down here.
We should go
black black, red red.
From this end to that end.
Black black, red red, black black.
HARVEY:
I think the dog collar belongs here.
[CHUCKLES]
It's not a dog collar.
It's a chastity belt.
It is?
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON HEADPHONES]
Elizabeth.
Someone sent you flowers.
Don't put that one up.
Where'd she go?
[TED CHUCKLES]
[ELIZABETH LAUGHING]
Thank you, kind sir.
Give me those balloons.
Come with me.
Please come with me.
-Send her up?
-Take her up.
[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING NEARBY]
Come on--
[SHRIEKS]
John.
Bye.
John, I hate you.
Stop it.
[SCREAMING]
Shall we get a cup of coffee?
[SOBBING]
Let me down from here.
John! You pig!
See you later.
Get me down!
Why don't you calm down?
ELIZABETH: I mean it.
-Why don't you just calm down?
Why don't you just--
-Goddamn it!
-What is the matter?
Leaving me up there like that.
JOHN:
What is it?
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
[CHATTERING]
BOY 1:
Slow down.
-I see someone coming.
BOY 2: Shh.
BOY 3:
Take this sucker for $5.
GIRL:
Maybe even 10.
Stay with $5.
Uh, sir. Do you like music?
Do I like music?
Look at these guys.
Who wants to know?
My brother.
He can fart the theme from Jaws.
He's really amazing.
Wait a minute. He can what?
He can fart the theme to Jaws. It's $5.
It's $5?
Five dollars,
I can go out and buy the record.
-Ha, ha.
-It's too much.
What about a buck?
You can do this for a buck? Huh?
Do it, then I'll give you the buck.
Who can do it?
I can, but we need
the money first.
I'll tell you what...
...you hold the money.
-Yeah?
JOHN: Yeah.
Go ahead, hurry up, do it.
JOHN: Look at him, he looks
like he's going to take off.
[FARTS]
BOY 3: That's it.
JOHN: That's it?
That's it? What about:
[HUMMING THEME FROM "JAWS"]
-Ha, ha.
-He only does the first couple of bars.
-No, no. Give me the money back.
BOY 3: Let's go.
[KIDS AND ELIZABETH LAUGH]
[JOHN HUMMING THEME FROM "JAWS"]
[ELIZABETH SCREAMS AND LAUGHS]
[WHIRRING]
WOMAN [ON MACHINE]:
This is Dr. Holden's office.
Just wanted to remind you, Elizabeth,
you have an appointment tomorrow.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
DOUG [ON MACHINE]:
Hi, it's Doug.
A bunch of us are going to Fire Island.
You want to come? Let me know.
[DIAL TONE]
My dad and me.
CARL [ON MACHINE]:
Uh, this is Carl Miller at Miller's Antiques.
[DIAL TONE]
[MACHINE BEEPS]
BRUCE [ON MACHINE]:
Hello, I waited till 10. Did you forget?
I'll speak to you later. Bye.
That's Bruce.
He's a songwriter.
And we were also married for 3 years.
[DIAL TONE]
You going to ask me
how I feel about him?
MAN [ON MACHINE]: Hello? Hello.
-No.
MAN: Shit, I hate these machines.
-Good.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
ELIZABETH'S MOTHER [ON MACHINE]:
Lizzy, this is your mother. Remember me?
-Dear, are you hungry for turkey?
-[WHISPERS] That's my mom.
[CHUCKLES]
JOHN:
Will you take off your dress?
What?
[MACHINE BEEPS]
Will you take off your dress?
[ZIPPING]
May I blindfold you?
What if I don't want you to?
Then you can ask me to leave.
I don't want you to leave.
[MEOWS]
[WHISPERING]
Don't move.
No, no, don't move.
I want to look
at the outline of your body.
Does this frighten you?
Yes.
Does this excite you?
Yes.
JOHN:
It does me too.
[CHUCKLES]
Is he supposed to be dead or asleep?
I think he's sleeping.
I like to think he's sleeping.
It's by Matthew Farnsworth.
And nobody has heard of him, I know.
But we're about to have a show
of his work here at the gallery.
Very soon.
I think he's a lovely artist.
How about it? How do you feel?
It just doesn't--
I don't know how to say it.
It just doesn't....
Do you like it?
So you'll have to come back.
Watch it.
Great. Ha, ha.
I think he's dying to get out.
-Thank you.
ELIZABETH: Thank you very much.
Come back and see us.
-Whew!
JANITOR: Excuse me.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Okay, boys.
Oh, look at that.
Hi.
-You smell good.
-Thanks.
It's nice.
-May I sit down?
JOHN: Of course. Make yourself at home.
Some chair. Ha, ha.
You have a lot of TVs.
My uncle died watching TV.
[CHUCKLES]
He did.
He was a fanatic about sports.
I mean, any sports.
He had three TV's and a radio.
He used to run from room to room just
so he wouldn't miss out on anything.
He died of a heart attack,
'76 Olympics.
[CHUCKLES]
JOHN: I've come close to a heart attack
myself, watching these things.
I used to live in hotels
before I lived here.
But I do like to cook.
-You like to cook?
-Love to cook.
[CHUCKLES]
I bought this for you.
Why don't you hand it to me?
I like to watch you move.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
JOHN:
Open it.
God.
It's beautiful.
I love it.
They used to be able to hypnotize people
with the sound of ticking.
You know that?
Let me hear.
[CHUCKLES]
I hear it.
Can I ask you a question?
Okay.
It is beautiful.
What?
Elizabeth...
...each day at 12 o'clock...
...would you look at that watch...
...and think of me touching you?
Yes.
Would you do that for me?
Yes.
[PHONE RINGS]
SUE:
Liz?
Sinclair's on the phone.
Who?
I don't believe she said that.
God, what does he want?
Ha. I don't know.
But I think it's about Farnsworth.
-Here.
-You're kidding.
Hello.
Sure, I'll hold.
Such a jerk.
I think I've been hypnotized.
A diet doctor tried it on me once.
I gained 10 pounds.
But I can't concentrate.
I sprayed Lysol
under my arms this morning.
ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Did you, um, brush your teeth
with, uh, Ben Gay?
Shaving cream.
MOLLY:
You're all right.
Shh.
Listen, your ex called. He wants to have
dinner with you tonight. Don't forget.
No. I can't.
Why not? I think you should.
He seems so sad lately.
You go.
You go in my place.
I don't think I'm his type.
Can I borrow your body?
Hello?
[BOAT HORN WAILS]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
ELIZABETH [WHISPERING]:
Molly.
Molly.
[CHUCKLES]
There's a man on the premises.
Terrific. Great. Go to it.
[WHISPERING]
Are these yours?
Yes.
It's nice. Come here.
I don't believe this.
I'm starving. Are you hungry?
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Come on.
JOHN:
Don't move.
Stay right there.
I want you to close your eyes.
I want you to lie down
on the floor.
Just lie down on the floor.
Come on.
Go ahead.
Close your eyes.
[EGG CRACKS]
[LOUD THUD]
-Don't peek.
-Oh. I did.
Promise to keep your eyes closed?
[LAUGHS]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[LAUGHING]
I want a big one.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING]
Promise to keep
your eyes closed, please.
Stick out your tongue.
Further. Further.
Further. Right.
I'll put it right on the spot.
Right on the spot.
Oh, that's nice.
[ELIZABETH SCREAMS THEN LAUGHS]
Just, no. I should have said no.
No, no, no.
I should have said no.
And I would have if I could have...
...but I couldn't, so I didn't.
You talking to me?
Um....
Listen, Lizzy,
you remember when you, uh...
...suggested I keep
your date with your ex?
Well, um, I did.
And the thing is, I couldn't say no.
I, uh...
-...slept with him.
-With Bruce?
My Bruce?
I just thought you should know.
Your mom will like him.
Mine did.
Okay.
I'm going to a party
tomorrow night with Molly.
Will you come?
Come on, John.
[GROANS]
-No. Ha, ha.
-Mm-mm.
-Shh. Why not?
-Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
I want you to meet my friend--
I want you to meet my friends.
Don't you want to?
I don't want to meet anybody.
I don't want to.
I just want to be with you.
I'll start the dishes.
Let me tell you something.
You don't do dishes.
You don't ever have to do dishes.
I'll do the dishes.
And I'll buy the groceries.
And I'll cook the food.
And I'll feed you.
And I'll dress you in the morning.
I'll undress you at night.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
And I'll bathe you.
I'll take care of you.
And you can see
your friends in the daytime.
I just want the nighttime...
...from now on to be ours.
[PHONE RINGING]
Yes.
Okay, fine.
Okay. I'll meet you.
I have a friend I have to meet.
That's okay.
I've got work at home.
No, I don't want you to go.
Would you please stay?
Okay.
BOY [ON TV]:
Fetch, boy.
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Now you can afford
that bed that lets you read...
...eat, chat on the phone, watch TV...
...sleep and relax
at the touch of a button.
Now you can afford
soothing gentle massage.
Your own personal heat-control.
Total adjustability.
At last an adjustable bed
at flat-bed prices.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello.
Hello?
-Hello?
JOHN [ON PHONE]: Shh.
-Elizabeth?
-Yes. Ha, ha.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Don't talk.
I have a question I want to ask you.
Okay.
You know, all the while
I was with my friend...
...I was just wondering, uh...
...what you were doing in there.
I was wondering if perhaps maybe
you were going through my clothes...
...looking in my drawers...
...looking at the things in my closet.
And I said,
"No, she's not that kind of a girl.
She's a good girl."
Good girls don't snoop, do they?
So come on, you can tell me.
Tell me if you've been a Nosy Parker.
Hey, come on.
Really, I want to know.
I'm your pal, right? So tell me.
You can trust me. It'll be our secret.
So tell me.
Tell me.
Yes.
-Yes.
-What's that?
-Yes what?
-Yes, I've been a Nosy Parker.
Shame on you.
I didn't think you'd be here.
Why'd you do that?
I'm sorry.
You've been a very bad girl, Elizabeth.
I want you to face the wall
and raise your skirt...
...because I'm going to spank you.
You are kidding.
I'm not kidding.
ELIZABETH:
Oh, my God.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
[GRUNTING]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
[MOANING AND HEAVY BREATHING]
JOHN:
I'm coming.
-Your breakfast is ready.
-Mm.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Will that be cash or charge?
Cash.
John, aren't you going to ask me
how I like this?
No.
Did you take as good a care
of the others as you do with me?
Did you?
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[ELIZABETH LAUGHS THEN SHRIEKS]
-Hey.
-Just go.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
AND LAUGHING]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS
THEN LAUGHS]
[MOANING]
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]
JOHN:
I'm going to take care of you.
Hot soup.
It's good.
How did you know?
How did you know
I'd respond to you the way I have?
I saw myself in you.
You know what, Molly?
I can't figure this guy out.
You know, sometimes...
...it's so easy.
I mean, it might be...
...it might be the tie they wear...
...or the books they read.
Or don't read.
But you know.
-Know what?
-What will end it.
So you just file it away and you wait.
And that sort of makes it bearable.
But with this guy....
Maybe it's true love.
Maybe.
[CHATTERING AND PHONES RINGING]
ELIZABETH:
Hi.
I brought you some lunch.
Pastrami...
...and oatmeal cookies.
Your favorite.
What are you doing here?
I was just in the neighborhood and I...
...wondered how spent your days
without me.
And now I know.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Wow, you have such a big office.
Your secretary is very attractive.
I saw her, like, on the way in.
Do you always buy her lunch?
Don't let her leave.
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER]
-I love Wall Street.
-Ha, ha.
I do. Yes.
-Why?
-I don't know.
I love the gray flannel suits,
the shiny shoes.
Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like
to be one of the guys.
Yeah?
-Sometimes.
-Hmm?
Sometimes.
Yeah, I can understand that.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
The lady wants to know what it'd be like
to be one of the boys?
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
The crowd is going wild.
Whoa. I don't believe this.
Don't sit down next to me
looking like that. Jesus.
[DINGS]
-[WHISPERS] Stop it.
-I mean, you take it away.
Just kidding.
You look really good.
You look great.
[ELEGANT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
[COUGHING]
JOHN:
I'll tell you, my darling...
...it's a hell of a life.
You work and you work and you work...
...and meet with people
you don't like...
...that you don't even know.
That you don't even want to know.
And they try to sell you things...
...you try to sell them things.
Then you go home at night,
listen to the wife nag, the kids bitch.
You turn up the TV,
you tune everything out.
You get up the next day
and you start all over.
I'll tell you...
...the only thing that keeps me going...
...is this chick.
I got this chick.
I got this unbelievable chick
on the side.
I mean, she is so hot...
...I can hardly believe it.
I mean....
[CHUCKLES]
She's got one of those
heart-shaped asses.
There ain't nothing
like a heart-shaped ass.
You ever have a chick...
...with a heart-shaped ass?
I didn't think so.
[LAUGHS]
Don't.
You're so fucking beautiful.
You are.
You're so fucking unbelievably...
...absolutely beautiful.
Give me that mustache.
[ELIZABETH SQUEALS THEN CHUCKLES]
JOHN:
So shall we pick up some chicks?
Hey, faggots!
Come back!
Come back, you coward!
Come on back!
[THUGS SHOUTING]
Shit!
[ELIZABETH SCREAMS]
Run, John!
[BOTH PANTING]
Come on, you son of a bitch!
ELIZABETH:
Why did you pull me away?
-I could've beat them up.
-I know, I know you could have.
I could've done it.
I could've done it.
[THUG 1 SHOUTS
AND ELIZABETH SCREAMS]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
[GRUNTS]
[THUG 2 YELLING]
THUG 2:
Son of a bitch!
Jesus!
[BOTH YELLING
AND ELIZABETH SHRIEKING]
[THUG 2 YELLS]
THUG 2:
Son of a bitch!
Goddamn it! Goddamn it!
ELIZABETH:
Did you see me?
Did you see me? Did you see me?
Did you see me?
I got him in the ass!
Did you see me? Did you?
Did you see me? Did you?
I love you. God, I love you.
God, I love you. God!
[BOTH LAUGH]
[ELIZABETH SCREAMS]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[YELLS]
[GRUNTING AND MOANING]
TED: Molly.
MOLLY: Yeah?
TED: Help me pick out
one of these mattings?
Harvey said to stick to neutral colors.
We could use
one of these textures...
...they're touchy-feely.
They got the rattan.
Kind of like, uh....
It's kind of like the tropical.
Wait, look at these.
I'd die for these.
Liz, would you help me out with this?
These are the kinds you could feel.
We like these, don't we?
I'll leave you alone.
Ted, telephone.
[LAUGHS]
If it's my mother-in-Iaw, I'm out.
Please stop torturing me.
-Help me. He's going to kill me.
-Aah!
[CHATTERING]
Outrage.
JOHN: You like that?
-Yes.
Then take it.
ELIZABETH: Do you like it?
-I do.
[ELIZABETH LAUGHS]
[VASE THUDS]
I'm sorry.
When can I have this delivered?
WOMAN: You're in luck.
This display comes down tomorrow.
Why?
Because we're putting another one there.
What's wrong with this?
Nothing wrong with it.
Everybody likes that bed.
JOHN:
Where you going to put it?
We'll probably sell it.
-Do you want it?
-I'd like it as soon as possible.
WOMAN: In that case,
you only need give me the information.
Have you a box spring and mattress?
Bedding's in the other department,
but I can handle it for you.
No, I would, uh, need...
...a nice hard mattress and box spring.
I'd like you to deliver it all together.
But you will want to select it.
No, I won't.
Well.
I need....
What else do we need?
Four big pillows.
Would you like goose down
or Dacron pillows?
Which do you prefer?
Goose down is much nicer.
Goose down.
WOMAN:
And the ticking?
And the ticking.
What about the ticking?
It comes with it.
What kind do you want?
JOHN:
What kind do they have?
You want striped?
JOHN:
What is ticking?
If you don't know what--
It's the cloth that covers
the mattress and the box spring.
JOHN: I must have ticking.
-Yes.
I would be very happy, if you'd...
...pick out the ticking.
Certainly.
Okay.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
WOMAN:
Will that be all?
JOHN:
One other thing.
Sit down.
You have beautiful toes.
Beautiful toes run in the family?
Um, if my lady friend could lie on the bed,
would that be all right with you?
Thank you.
This bed is one of our most
popular ones.
JOHN:
Just lie back.
Just hold onto the headboard.
You comfortable?
Spread your legs for Daddy.
You'll be happy to know you can have
it delivered Thursday or Friday.
-I just want a gander.
ELIZABETH: Ha, ha.
And I'll personally guarantee...
...you can have the delivery
on Thursday.
Spread your legs.
I won't look.
Nobody's looking.
[ELIZABETH LAUGHING]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
[WHIP CRACKING]
[WHIP CRACKING RAPIDLY]
I'll take this one.
[BEEPING]
[JOE COCKER'S "YOU CAN
LEAVE YOUR HAT ON" PLAYING]
Baby, take off your coat
Real slow
And take off your shoes
I'll take off your shoes
Baby, take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes
You can leave your hat on
Go over there, turn on the light
Hey, all the lights
Come over here
Stand on that chair
Yeah, that's right
Raise your arms up in the air
Now shake 'em
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
Suspicious minds keep talking
They're trying to tear us apart
They don't believe in this love of mine
They don't know what love is
Yeah, I know what love is
Sweet darling
You can leave your hat on
-Baby
-You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
There ain't no way
You can leave your hat on
Give me some reason to live
-You can leave your hat on
-You can leave your hat on
We've got to do something
about Farnsworth.
I keep calling and calling,
and the man won't answer the phone.
We've got three weeks.
Harvey's going out of his mind.
I think you should see him, don't you?
It's a good idea, you know.
Mr. Farnsworth?
Mr. Farnsworth.
Hi.
I tried to get in touch so many times...
...but your phone was off the hook.
I just wanted you to know
that your show is in 3 weeks...
...and we still don't have
all your paintings.
And we were hoping you'd come.
You do remember about your show?
I, uh....
I remember to eat when I'm hungry...
...and I remember to sleep
when I'm tired.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
I saw your work.
It's wonderful.
I don't know what it is.
The way you manage to capture a moment.
It's the moment...
...a thing is so familiar...
...it is strange.
Yes.
JOHN:
Elizabeth, we're going to play a little game.
I'm a man with a very big problem.
Because, you see, I can't get excited.
I can't get excited unless I see...
...you get on your hands and knees
and crawl across the floor.
And I'm willing to pay a lot
to see you do that.
Would you do that for me?
This is stupid, John.
JOHN:
Crawl.
Crawl.
I don't want to crawl.
Get on all fours and crawl.
I don't want to argue with you.
Now crawl.
Don't play with me like that.
I don't want to negotiate with you.
Now crawl.
John, it's only a game.
-Crawl.
-No!
-Crawl.
-Don't touch me!
-Don't.
-Pick up the money.
[CRYING]
Pick up the money!
I don't want to pick up the money!
I don't love the money!
Pick up the money.
Here's the money!
JOHN:
Elizabeth, you love this game.
Don't you.
-I hate it.
-Don't you love it?
-I hate it!
-You love it.
I hate it. It was....
JOHN: But you loved it.
-Ha, ha.
-I knew you'd love it.
-I didn't.
[WHISPERING]
Molly. Molly.
Bruce is down there.
Just tell him I'm not here,
and I don't feel like it.
Lizzy.
He's here for me.
Hi, Bruce.
Bye, Lizzy.
See you tonight at the opening.
[KIDS CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]
[ANSWERING MACHINE WHIRRING]
SECRETARY [ON MACHINE]:
This is Doctor Holden's office again.
You have another appointment tomorrow.
That's two you've missed
we have to charge you for.
Try to make this one, please.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
JOHN [ON MACHINE]: Meet me at the
Chelsea Hotel at 5 p.m. in room 906.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON TV NEARBY]
[PHONE RINGS]
JOHN [ON PHONE]:
Elizabeth...
...I love you.
I have something
I want you to do for me.
I want you to go to the drawer....
[CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
That was a simple thing
I asked you to do.
Now do it.
Is that too tight?
How does that feel?
I love you.
[RATTLING]
[WOMAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[WOMAN CONTINUES SPEAKING
IN SPANISH AND PURRING]
[WOMAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH]
[LAUGHS]
ELIZABETH:
Bastard.
You scared the shit out of her.
How does it feel?
-You really wanna know?
-How does it feel to be out of control?
ELIZABETH:
You really want to know?
What was it like?
You want to know?
Look, John!
Any kind of pussy you wanna look at....
[CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[CHATTERING]
WOMAN: Excuse me.
Can I have a little more red wine?
[SUE YELLS]
Who needs more champagne?
Take it.
This is wonderful.
Wonderful!
The Times just arrived.
Please God, they give us a good review.
I think they're taking pictures now.
Are you ready?
Come on.
-Do I look all right?
SUE: Wonderful.
HARVEY:
I think I'm drunk.
Darling, Elizabeth!
For God's sake, help me.
Help me, help me, darling.
Farnsworth. He's so strange.
Really strange. I love the work.
I love the work. I even told him.
But I don't know whether he's
sub-literate or pre-verbal or what...
...but he just stares.
Stares, dear.
Creepy.
Really creepy.
This is the beginning
of the Farnsworth era.
-He's a great painter.
SUE: Bear with him.
Why bear with me?
Come on, this is a great day.
I'm proud of the show
and I'm proud to have you with us.
[PHONE LINE RINGING]
[SIGHS]
JOHN:
You're leaving?
You want to stay?
You know, I have five brothers.
I'm the youngest.
And we lived in a small town.
It was just outside of Chicago.
And my father, uh....
My father was, uh....
He worked at a foundry.
And my mother was a, uh....
She was a clerk in a, uh....
She was a checkout girl
at a grocery store.
[CHUCKLES]
So you know, it's just....
I got a family.
And, uh....
They don't work anymore.
They're retired. I support them.
It's too late.
You know, I want you to know something.
I want you to know
there's been lots of other girls.
There's been lots of women.
But I never felt
anything like this before.
Even when I just...
...hold you in my arms.
It's just the way you feel.
It's something I didn't count on.
I never counted...
...on loving you so much.
You knew it'd be over
when one of us said stop.
But you wouldn't say it.
I almost waited too long.
I'll send someone to get my stuff.
Elizabeth....
I love you.
Would you please come back...
...by the time I count to 50.
One....
[English - US - SDH]
MAN: Hey, sweetheart.
How about I dry you off?
Whoa. Whoo!
Hey, babe!
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
TED:
Don't hit me. Ow!
This is a message from Sinclair.
He's coming to your party tonight.
That's great.
So, what do we have now?
We have a critic, 2 clients, 3 painters.
It should be 1 client, 2 clients and 3 more
clients, and Molly in the back room.
You should know how to do business.
Give me a break here.
[WOMEN LAUGH]
I'm calling out for coffee.
Who wants what?
Um, I want a chocolate croissant,
a Sweet 'N Low and a coffee light.
Okay. You, Liz?
Hot tea with milk.
Boss-man?
Um, I'll have a hot water with lemon
and Sweet 'N Low. Don't let them charge.
[CHUCKLES]
Slimming down, tubs, hmm?
I don't fast to lose weight.
I fast to save money.
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
ELIZABETH:
Every single time.
If we don't sell any paintings,
we both go in the back.
-Get the dip?
-Wine cheddar. Got it last night.
So, what do we have now?
Olives, crackers, pâté.
What else?
Uh, French ticklers, Spanish fly,
margarine.
-He's kind of shy. You can't do that.
-All right, so all right.
-Bye, sweetie.
-So, what's his name, Michael?
[CHATTERING]
Oh, my God.
Yuck.
What's his name, Sinclair?
He's vegetarian.
String beans, romaine lettuce,
asparagus, carrots, uh....
[SPEAKING IN CHINESE]
[IN ENGLISH]
Okay, all right. Okay.
No more. Free, free, free!
No charge. Okay, goodbye.
Hello.
Imagine one of those
caught in your throat?
Imagine the songs they sang?
Oh. Such a romantic.
BUTCHER: Can I help you ladies?
-Half a dozen little birds.
BUTCHER:
Lady, you clean me out.
What are you going to do with them?
What do you think we're going to do?
Eat them.
We plan to give them a proper burial.
[LAUGHING]
That's very funny.
Seriously.
ELIZABETH: Or maybe we'll raise them as
pets and then fly them from the rooftops.
-Shh. Would you wrap them up?
BUTCHER: Yes, ma'am.
ELIZABETH: Just wrap them up.
BUTCHER: Yes, ma'am.
MOLLY:
Wrap them up, let's go.
Let's see. Hmm, what else?
Oh, fortune cookies. About eight?
No, um, 12.
I'll just wrap them up with the rest.
Say, cab!
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Stop, I'm pregnant!
Cab!
[TIRES SCREECH]
MOLLY:
This thing's at eight, huh?
Yeah, eight.
[PHONE RINGING ON TV]
Why don't you get comfortable
and I'll get it.
Come on, shmuck, take your shirt off.
Come on, I haven't got all night.
I'll never let you talk me
into giving a dinner party again.
It's good for you,
shows you're opening up.
I'm fine.
Next you'll be putting an ad
in the personals columns.
Molly.
"Beaut--" No.
"Divorced White Female.
Beautiful, statuesque blonde.
Witty, cultured, owns own vibrator...."
Oh, Lizzy.
I know you don't have one.
Not vous.
-You are the grossest...
MOLLY: Ha, ha.
...most perverted...
-...over-sexed, disgusting--
-Michael.
Oh, baby.
Oh. Michael, yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
[MOANING]
[CHUCKLES]
SINCLAIR:
He's eating Volkswagens.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
And I said to his press agent:
"How do I review a piece like that?"
MAN 1: A Volkswagen tasting party?
-Michael, a little more wine? Uh, Michael?
WOMAN 1: Leave your picture and résumé,
honey, we'll call you.
WOMAN 2:
Anyone can do this with his or her nose.
[ALL LAUGH]
[ALL CHATTERING]
WOMAN 2: She did it!
WOMAN 1: Ta-da!
Have you guys heard of this artist?
-He's new.
WOMAN 3: Is this a joke?
Come on. Please everyone.
Let her tell the story.
WOMAN 4:
Elizabeth does not lie.
-She's blushing.
-I'm not.
There's going to be nudity
and violence in this one.
A guy. He's an artist.
-He's done a series of portraits.
WOMAN 1: What kind of portraits?
Rectal portraits.
[ALL LAUGH]
I know this man.
He pulls down his drawers...
...puts the brush up his bum
and paints portraits in a sort of...
...jack-knifed position.
[ALL LAUGHING]
It's the most amazing thing.
Sort of the way you write
your reviews, isn't it, Sinclair?
GUESTS: Ooh!
-Charming.
She's very charming.
MAN 1:
To bow-Iegged women.
[CROWD MURMURING]
[BAND PLAYING
WINSTON GRENNAN'S "SAVIOR"]
Give I some wisdom, let I be wise
Let I be wise
Let I be wise, wise, wise, wise, wise
Savior, oh Lord
I need some wisdom to open my eyes
I want to climb to the mountaintop
To see it in your eye
I just want to live wise
So I can live wise
I just want to live life in your eyes
Oh, Lord
Savior
It's only your wisdom that I know in me
-It's beautiful.
WOMAN: Isn't it? Yes.
It's a beautiful shawl.
It's a French shawl. Very old.
-How much?
-$300.
Is it really that much?
It's rock bottom, sweetheart. $300.
Three hundred's a good price.
Thank you.
So close to your light
I just want to live in your heart
Savior
I would like to be moving on
Savior
Will you move me on?
To where the eagle flies
To where the eagle flies
Love, help them, mm
Who search out their ways alone
Seeking wisdom like a child, oh
I just want to live wise
So I can live wise
I just want to live life in your eyes
Oh, Lord
[ELECTRONIC CHICKEN CLUCKING]
What is that?
Aah! That's a baby.
[LAUGHING]
-How much is it?
-Uh, for you, 40 big ones.
How about $30?
$35.
-How about 30?
-Okay.
Every time I see you
you're buying chickens.
Thirty?
Every time I see you you're--
What?
You're smiling at me.
Smiling at you?
Thank you.
So close to your heart
I just want to live life in his light
Savior, savior, savior, savior
[WOMAN SINGING IN ITALIAN]
JOHN:
This place has a lot of history.
The chair you're sitting in...
...was a guy named Gino Gambini...
...got his brains blown out...
...while he was eating the same thing
you're eating, linguine con cozze.
There was another guy.
This was earlier, this was in 1963.
Did you ever hear of, uh, Vito Possolipo?
-No, I haven't.
-No?
-Would you like some more?
-I do like this wine.
Vito Possolipo was sitting right over there,
where that baby is.
He was minding his own business,
he was having a dish of zitti al forno.
They came in....
-You don't want any?
-No. Then what'd they do?
Vito Possolipo came in....
October 31 st.
Halloween night, sitting in the back
minding his own business...
-...they came in, gunned him down.
-My God.
I mean, this place is, like, uh,
what they call a family restaurant.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Listen, uh...
...do you recognize this?
John.
It's for you.
Don't say I didn't warn you, okay?
-Is this yours?
-No, it's a friend's.
Thanks.
It's beautiful.
It's so beautiful.
It's nice.
[TOY DUCK SQUEAKS]
Is this your duck?
You're taking a hell of a lot
for granted.
Am I?
Either that or you're practicing
to be a maid at Holiday Inn.
Do you like music?
Some.
[BILLIE HOLIDAY'S
"STRANGE FRUIT" PLAYING]
Southern trees
Bear strange fruit
Blood on the leaves
And blood at the roots
It's Billie Holiday.
What do you do?
I buy and I sell money.
Some people call it arbitrage.
[DUCK SQUEAKS]
What do you call it?
I call it a living.
So you sleep with a telephone
under your pillow?
No, I don't do that.
I, uh, used to do that.
I don't have to do that now.
But your business
is very risky, isn't it?
[CHUCKLES]
It's not any riskier than you
coming here.
Out here where
there's no neighbors around.
I mean,
we hardly know each other.
I mean, I don't know you.
You really don't know me.
I mean, there's no taxi cab
waiting on the curb.
There's no phone booth outside.
There's no one to hear you
if you called out.
There's just, uh...
...you and me.
I don't like this.
I want to go home.
I was just kidding.
Now.
Right.
We'll put this down here.
We should go
black black, red red.
From this end to that end.
Black black, red red, black black.
HARVEY:
I think the dog collar belongs here.
[CHUCKLES]
It's not a dog collar.
It's a chastity belt.
It is?
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON HEADPHONES]
Elizabeth.
Someone sent you flowers.
Don't put that one up.
Where'd she go?
[TED CHUCKLES]
[ELIZABETH LAUGHING]
Thank you, kind sir.
Give me those balloons.
Come with me.
Please come with me.
-Send her up?
-Take her up.
[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING NEARBY]
Come on--
[SHRIEKS]
John.
Bye.
John, I hate you.
Stop it.
[SCREAMING]
Shall we get a cup of coffee?
[SOBBING]
Let me down from here.
John! You pig!
See you later.
Get me down!
Why don't you calm down?
ELIZABETH: I mean it.
-Why don't you just calm down?
Why don't you just--
-Goddamn it!
-What is the matter?
Leaving me up there like that.
JOHN:
What is it?
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
[CHATTERING]
BOY 1:
Slow down.
-I see someone coming.
BOY 2: Shh.
BOY 3:
Take this sucker for $5.
GIRL:
Maybe even 10.
Stay with $5.
Uh, sir. Do you like music?
Do I like music?
Look at these guys.
Who wants to know?
My brother.
He can fart the theme from Jaws.
He's really amazing.
Wait a minute. He can what?
He can fart the theme to Jaws. It's $5.
It's $5?
Five dollars,
I can go out and buy the record.
-Ha, ha.
-It's too much.
What about a buck?
You can do this for a buck? Huh?
Do it, then I'll give you the buck.
Who can do it?
I can, but we need
the money first.
I'll tell you what...
...you hold the money.
-Yeah?
JOHN: Yeah.
Go ahead, hurry up, do it.
JOHN: Look at him, he looks
like he's going to take off.
[FARTS]
BOY 3: That's it.
JOHN: That's it?
That's it? What about:
[HUMMING THEME FROM "JAWS"]
-Ha, ha.
-He only does the first couple of bars.
-No, no. Give me the money back.
BOY 3: Let's go.
[KIDS AND ELIZABETH LAUGH]
[JOHN HUMMING THEME FROM "JAWS"]
[ELIZABETH SCREAMS AND LAUGHS]
[WHIRRING]
WOMAN [ON MACHINE]:
This is Dr. Holden's office.
Just wanted to remind you, Elizabeth,
you have an appointment tomorrow.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
DOUG [ON MACHINE]:
Hi, it's Doug.
A bunch of us are going to Fire Island.
You want to come? Let me know.
[DIAL TONE]
My dad and me.
CARL [ON MACHINE]:
Uh, this is Carl Miller at Miller's Antiques.
[DIAL TONE]
[MACHINE BEEPS]
BRUCE [ON MACHINE]:
Hello, I waited till 10. Did you forget?
I'll speak to you later. Bye.
That's Bruce.
He's a songwriter.
And we were also married for 3 years.
[DIAL TONE]
You going to ask me
how I feel about him?
MAN [ON MACHINE]: Hello? Hello.
-No.
MAN: Shit, I hate these machines.
-Good.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
ELIZABETH'S MOTHER [ON MACHINE]:
Lizzy, this is your mother. Remember me?
-Dear, are you hungry for turkey?
-[WHISPERS] That's my mom.
[CHUCKLES]
JOHN:
Will you take off your dress?
What?
[MACHINE BEEPS]
Will you take off your dress?
[ZIPPING]
May I blindfold you?
What if I don't want you to?
Then you can ask me to leave.
I don't want you to leave.
[MEOWS]
[WHISPERING]
Don't move.
No, no, don't move.
I want to look
at the outline of your body.
Does this frighten you?
Yes.
Does this excite you?
Yes.
JOHN:
It does me too.
[CHUCKLES]
Is he supposed to be dead or asleep?
I think he's sleeping.
I like to think he's sleeping.
It's by Matthew Farnsworth.
And nobody has heard of him, I know.
But we're about to have a show
of his work here at the gallery.
Very soon.
I think he's a lovely artist.
How about it? How do you feel?
It just doesn't--
I don't know how to say it.
It just doesn't....
Do you like it?
So you'll have to come back.
Watch it.
Great. Ha, ha.
I think he's dying to get out.
-Thank you.
ELIZABETH: Thank you very much.
Come back and see us.
-Whew!
JANITOR: Excuse me.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Okay, boys.
Oh, look at that.
Hi.
-You smell good.
-Thanks.
It's nice.
-May I sit down?
JOHN: Of course. Make yourself at home.
Some chair. Ha, ha.
You have a lot of TVs.
My uncle died watching TV.
[CHUCKLES]
He did.
He was a fanatic about sports.
I mean, any sports.
He had three TV's and a radio.
He used to run from room to room just
so he wouldn't miss out on anything.
He died of a heart attack,
'76 Olympics.
[CHUCKLES]
JOHN: I've come close to a heart attack
myself, watching these things.
I used to live in hotels
before I lived here.
But I do like to cook.
-You like to cook?
-Love to cook.
[CHUCKLES]
I bought this for you.
Why don't you hand it to me?
I like to watch you move.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
JOHN:
Open it.
God.
It's beautiful.
I love it.
They used to be able to hypnotize people
with the sound of ticking.
You know that?
Let me hear.
[CHUCKLES]
I hear it.
Can I ask you a question?
Okay.
It is beautiful.
What?
Elizabeth...
...each day at 12 o'clock...
...would you look at that watch...
...and think of me touching you?
Yes.
Would you do that for me?
Yes.
[PHONE RINGS]
SUE:
Liz?
Sinclair's on the phone.
Who?
I don't believe she said that.
God, what does he want?
Ha. I don't know.
But I think it's about Farnsworth.
-Here.
-You're kidding.
Hello.
Sure, I'll hold.
Such a jerk.
I think I've been hypnotized.
A diet doctor tried it on me once.
I gained 10 pounds.
But I can't concentrate.
I sprayed Lysol
under my arms this morning.
ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Did you, um, brush your teeth
with, uh, Ben Gay?
Shaving cream.
MOLLY:
You're all right.
Shh.
Listen, your ex called. He wants to have
dinner with you tonight. Don't forget.
No. I can't.
Why not? I think you should.
He seems so sad lately.
You go.
You go in my place.
I don't think I'm his type.
Can I borrow your body?
Hello?
[BOAT HORN WAILS]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
ELIZABETH [WHISPERING]:
Molly.
Molly.
[CHUCKLES]
There's a man on the premises.
Terrific. Great. Go to it.
[WHISPERING]
Are these yours?
Yes.
It's nice. Come here.
I don't believe this.
I'm starving. Are you hungry?
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Come on.
JOHN:
Don't move.
Stay right there.
I want you to close your eyes.
I want you to lie down
on the floor.
Just lie down on the floor.
Come on.
Go ahead.
Close your eyes.
[EGG CRACKS]
[LOUD THUD]
-Don't peek.
-Oh. I did.
Promise to keep your eyes closed?
[LAUGHS]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[LAUGHING]
I want a big one.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING]
Promise to keep
your eyes closed, please.
Stick out your tongue.
Further. Further.
Further. Right.
I'll put it right on the spot.
Right on the spot.
Oh, that's nice.
[ELIZABETH SCREAMS THEN LAUGHS]
Just, no. I should have said no.
No, no, no.
I should have said no.
And I would have if I could have...
...but I couldn't, so I didn't.
You talking to me?
Um....
Listen, Lizzy,
you remember when you, uh...
...suggested I keep
your date with your ex?
Well, um, I did.
And the thing is, I couldn't say no.
I, uh...
-...slept with him.
-With Bruce?
My Bruce?
I just thought you should know.
Your mom will like him.
Mine did.
Okay.
I'm going to a party
tomorrow night with Molly.
Will you come?
Come on, John.
[GROANS]
-No. Ha, ha.
-Mm-mm.
-Shh. Why not?
-Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
I want you to meet my friend--
I want you to meet my friends.
Don't you want to?
I don't want to meet anybody.
I don't want to.
I just want to be with you.
I'll start the dishes.
Let me tell you something.
You don't do dishes.
You don't ever have to do dishes.
I'll do the dishes.
And I'll buy the groceries.
And I'll cook the food.
And I'll feed you.
And I'll dress you in the morning.
I'll undress you at night.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
And I'll bathe you.
I'll take care of you.
And you can see
your friends in the daytime.
I just want the nighttime...
...from now on to be ours.
[PHONE RINGING]
Yes.
Okay, fine.
Okay. I'll meet you.
I have a friend I have to meet.
That's okay.
I've got work at home.
No, I don't want you to go.
Would you please stay?
Okay.
BOY [ON TV]:
Fetch, boy.
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Now you can afford
that bed that lets you read...
...eat, chat on the phone, watch TV...
...sleep and relax
at the touch of a button.
Now you can afford
soothing gentle massage.
Your own personal heat-control.
Total adjustability.
At last an adjustable bed
at flat-bed prices.
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello.
Hello?
-Hello?
JOHN [ON PHONE]: Shh.
-Elizabeth?
-Yes. Ha, ha.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Don't talk.
I have a question I want to ask you.
Okay.
You know, all the while
I was with my friend...
...I was just wondering, uh...
...what you were doing in there.
I was wondering if perhaps maybe
you were going through my clothes...
...looking in my drawers...
...looking at the things in my closet.
And I said,
"No, she's not that kind of a girl.
She's a good girl."
Good girls don't snoop, do they?
So come on, you can tell me.
Tell me if you've been a Nosy Parker.
Hey, come on.
Really, I want to know.
I'm your pal, right? So tell me.
You can trust me. It'll be our secret.
So tell me.
Tell me.
Yes.
-Yes.
-What's that?
-Yes what?
-Yes, I've been a Nosy Parker.
Shame on you.
I didn't think you'd be here.
Why'd you do that?
I'm sorry.
You've been a very bad girl, Elizabeth.
I want you to face the wall
and raise your skirt...
...because I'm going to spank you.
You are kidding.
I'm not kidding.
ELIZABETH:
Oh, my God.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
[GRUNTING]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
[MOANING AND HEAVY BREATHING]
JOHN:
I'm coming.
-Your breakfast is ready.
-Mm.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Will that be cash or charge?
Cash.
John, aren't you going to ask me
how I like this?
No.
Did you take as good a care
of the others as you do with me?
Did you?
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[ELIZABETH LAUGHS THEN SHRIEKS]
-Hey.
-Just go.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
AND LAUGHING]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS
THEN LAUGHS]
[MOANING]
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]
JOHN:
I'm going to take care of you.
Hot soup.
It's good.
How did you know?
How did you know
I'd respond to you the way I have?
I saw myself in you.
You know what, Molly?
I can't figure this guy out.
You know, sometimes...
...it's so easy.
I mean, it might be...
...it might be the tie they wear...
...or the books they read.
Or don't read.
But you know.
-Know what?
-What will end it.
So you just file it away and you wait.
And that sort of makes it bearable.
But with this guy....
Maybe it's true love.
Maybe.
[CHATTERING AND PHONES RINGING]
ELIZABETH:
Hi.
I brought you some lunch.
Pastrami...
...and oatmeal cookies.
Your favorite.
What are you doing here?
I was just in the neighborhood and I...
...wondered how spent your days
without me.
And now I know.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
Wow, you have such a big office.
Your secretary is very attractive.
I saw her, like, on the way in.
Do you always buy her lunch?
Don't let her leave.
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHTER]
-I love Wall Street.
-Ha, ha.
I do. Yes.
-Why?
-I don't know.
I love the gray flannel suits,
the shiny shoes.
Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like
to be one of the guys.
Yeah?
-Sometimes.
-Hmm?
Sometimes.
Yeah, I can understand that.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
The lady wants to know what it'd be like
to be one of the boys?
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
The crowd is going wild.
Whoa. I don't believe this.
Don't sit down next to me
looking like that. Jesus.
[DINGS]
-[WHISPERS] Stop it.
-I mean, you take it away.
Just kidding.
You look really good.
You look great.
[ELEGANT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
[COUGHING]
JOHN:
I'll tell you, my darling...
...it's a hell of a life.
You work and you work and you work...
...and meet with people
you don't like...
...that you don't even know.
That you don't even want to know.
And they try to sell you things...
...you try to sell them things.
Then you go home at night,
listen to the wife nag, the kids bitch.
You turn up the TV,
you tune everything out.
You get up the next day
and you start all over.
I'll tell you...
...the only thing that keeps me going...
...is this chick.
I got this chick.
I got this unbelievable chick
on the side.
I mean, she is so hot...
...I can hardly believe it.
I mean....
[CHUCKLES]
She's got one of those
heart-shaped asses.
There ain't nothing
like a heart-shaped ass.
You ever have a chick...
...with a heart-shaped ass?
I didn't think so.
[LAUGHS]
Don't.
You're so fucking beautiful.
You are.
You're so fucking unbelievably...
...absolutely beautiful.
Give me that mustache.
[ELIZABETH SQUEALS THEN CHUCKLES]
JOHN:
So shall we pick up some chicks?
Hey, faggots!
Come back!
Come back, you coward!
Come on back!
[THUGS SHOUTING]
Shit!
[ELIZABETH SCREAMS]
Run, John!
[BOTH PANTING]
Come on, you son of a bitch!
ELIZABETH:
Why did you pull me away?
-I could've beat them up.
-I know, I know you could have.
I could've done it.
I could've done it.
[THUG 1 SHOUTS
AND ELIZABETH SCREAMS]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
[GRUNTS]
[THUG 2 YELLING]
THUG 2:
Son of a bitch!
Jesus!
[BOTH YELLING
AND ELIZABETH SHRIEKING]
[THUG 2 YELLS]
THUG 2:
Son of a bitch!
Goddamn it! Goddamn it!
ELIZABETH:
Did you see me?
Did you see me? Did you see me?
Did you see me?
I got him in the ass!
Did you see me? Did you?
Did you see me? Did you?
I love you. God, I love you.
God, I love you. God!
[BOTH LAUGH]
[ELIZABETH SCREAMS]
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[YELLS]
[GRUNTING AND MOANING]
TED: Molly.
MOLLY: Yeah?
TED: Help me pick out
one of these mattings?
Harvey said to stick to neutral colors.
We could use
one of these textures...
...they're touchy-feely.
They got the rattan.
Kind of like, uh....
It's kind of like the tropical.
Wait, look at these.
I'd die for these.
Liz, would you help me out with this?
These are the kinds you could feel.
We like these, don't we?
I'll leave you alone.
Ted, telephone.
[LAUGHS]
If it's my mother-in-Iaw, I'm out.
Please stop torturing me.
-Help me. He's going to kill me.
-Aah!
[CHATTERING]
Outrage.
JOHN: You like that?
-Yes.
Then take it.
ELIZABETH: Do you like it?
-I do.
[ELIZABETH LAUGHS]
[VASE THUDS]
I'm sorry.
When can I have this delivered?
WOMAN: You're in luck.
This display comes down tomorrow.
Why?
Because we're putting another one there.
What's wrong with this?
Nothing wrong with it.
Everybody likes that bed.
JOHN:
Where you going to put it?
We'll probably sell it.
-Do you want it?
-I'd like it as soon as possible.
WOMAN: In that case,
you only need give me the information.
Have you a box spring and mattress?
Bedding's in the other department,
but I can handle it for you.
No, I would, uh, need...
...a nice hard mattress and box spring.
I'd like you to deliver it all together.
But you will want to select it.
No, I won't.
Well.
I need....
What else do we need?
Four big pillows.
Would you like goose down
or Dacron pillows?
Which do you prefer?
Goose down is much nicer.
Goose down.
WOMAN:
And the ticking?
And the ticking.
What about the ticking?
It comes with it.
What kind do you want?
JOHN:
What kind do they have?
You want striped?
JOHN:
What is ticking?
If you don't know what--
It's the cloth that covers
the mattress and the box spring.
JOHN: I must have ticking.
-Yes.
I would be very happy, if you'd...
...pick out the ticking.
Certainly.
Okay.
[ELIZABETH CHUCKLES]
WOMAN:
Will that be all?
JOHN:
One other thing.
Sit down.
You have beautiful toes.
Beautiful toes run in the family?
Um, if my lady friend could lie on the bed,
would that be all right with you?
Thank you.
This bed is one of our most
popular ones.
JOHN:
Just lie back.
Just hold onto the headboard.
You comfortable?
Spread your legs for Daddy.
You'll be happy to know you can have
it delivered Thursday or Friday.
-I just want a gander.
ELIZABETH: Ha, ha.
And I'll personally guarantee...
...you can have the delivery
on Thursday.
Spread your legs.
I won't look.
Nobody's looking.
[ELIZABETH LAUGHING]
[ELIZABETH SHRIEKS]
[WHIP CRACKING]
[WHIP CRACKING RAPIDLY]
I'll take this one.
[BEEPING]
[JOE COCKER'S "YOU CAN
LEAVE YOUR HAT ON" PLAYING]
Baby, take off your coat
Real slow
And take off your shoes
I'll take off your shoes
Baby, take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes
You can leave your hat on
Go over there, turn on the light
Hey, all the lights
Come over here
Stand on that chair
Yeah, that's right
Raise your arms up in the air
Now shake 'em
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
You give me reason to live
You give me reason to live
Suspicious minds keep talking
They're trying to tear us apart
They don't believe in this love of mine
They don't know what love is
Yeah, I know what love is
Sweet darling
You can leave your hat on
-Baby
-You can leave your hat on
You can leave your hat on
There ain't no way
You can leave your hat on
Give me some reason to live
-You can leave your hat on
-You can leave your hat on
We've got to do something
about Farnsworth.
I keep calling and calling,
and the man won't answer the phone.
We've got three weeks.
Harvey's going out of his mind.
I think you should see him, don't you?
It's a good idea, you know.
Mr. Farnsworth?
Mr. Farnsworth.
Hi.
I tried to get in touch so many times...
...but your phone was off the hook.
I just wanted you to know
that your show is in 3 weeks...
...and we still don't have
all your paintings.
And we were hoping you'd come.
You do remember about your show?
I, uh....
I remember to eat when I'm hungry...
...and I remember to sleep
when I'm tired.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
I saw your work.
It's wonderful.
I don't know what it is.
The way you manage to capture a moment.
It's the moment...
...a thing is so familiar...
...it is strange.
Yes.
JOHN:
Elizabeth, we're going to play a little game.
I'm a man with a very big problem.
Because, you see, I can't get excited.
I can't get excited unless I see...
...you get on your hands and knees
and crawl across the floor.
And I'm willing to pay a lot
to see you do that.
Would you do that for me?
This is stupid, John.
JOHN:
Crawl.
Crawl.
I don't want to crawl.
Get on all fours and crawl.
I don't want to argue with you.
Now crawl.
Don't play with me like that.
I don't want to negotiate with you.
Now crawl.
John, it's only a game.
-Crawl.
-No!
-Crawl.
-Don't touch me!
-Don't.
-Pick up the money.
[CRYING]
Pick up the money!
I don't want to pick up the money!
I don't love the money!
Pick up the money.
Here's the money!
JOHN:
Elizabeth, you love this game.
Don't you.
-I hate it.
-Don't you love it?
-I hate it!
-You love it.
I hate it. It was....
JOHN: But you loved it.
-Ha, ha.
-I knew you'd love it.
-I didn't.
[WHISPERING]
Molly. Molly.
Bruce is down there.
Just tell him I'm not here,
and I don't feel like it.
Lizzy.
He's here for me.
Hi, Bruce.
Bye, Lizzy.
See you tonight at the opening.
[KIDS CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]
[ANSWERING MACHINE WHIRRING]
SECRETARY [ON MACHINE]:
This is Doctor Holden's office again.
You have another appointment tomorrow.
That's two you've missed
we have to charge you for.
Try to make this one, please.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
JOHN [ON MACHINE]: Meet me at the
Chelsea Hotel at 5 p.m. in room 906.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
ON TV NEARBY]
[PHONE RINGS]
JOHN [ON PHONE]:
Elizabeth...
...I love you.
I have something
I want you to do for me.
I want you to go to the drawer....
[CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
That was a simple thing
I asked you to do.
Now do it.
Is that too tight?
How does that feel?
I love you.
[RATTLING]
[WOMAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[WOMAN CONTINUES SPEAKING
IN SPANISH AND PURRING]
[WOMAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH]
[LAUGHS]
ELIZABETH:
Bastard.
You scared the shit out of her.
How does it feel?
-You really wanna know?
-How does it feel to be out of control?
ELIZABETH:
You really want to know?
What was it like?
You want to know?
Look, John!
Any kind of pussy you wanna look at....
[CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[CHATTERING]
WOMAN: Excuse me.
Can I have a little more red wine?
[SUE YELLS]
Who needs more champagne?
Take it.
This is wonderful.
Wonderful!
The Times just arrived.
Please God, they give us a good review.
I think they're taking pictures now.
Are you ready?
Come on.
-Do I look all right?
SUE: Wonderful.
HARVEY:
I think I'm drunk.
Darling, Elizabeth!
For God's sake, help me.
Help me, help me, darling.
Farnsworth. He's so strange.
Really strange. I love the work.
I love the work. I even told him.
But I don't know whether he's
sub-literate or pre-verbal or what...
...but he just stares.
Stares, dear.
Creepy.
Really creepy.
This is the beginning
of the Farnsworth era.
-He's a great painter.
SUE: Bear with him.
Why bear with me?
Come on, this is a great day.
I'm proud of the show
and I'm proud to have you with us.
[PHONE LINE RINGING]
[SIGHS]
JOHN:
You're leaving?
You want to stay?
You know, I have five brothers.
I'm the youngest.
And we lived in a small town.
It was just outside of Chicago.
And my father, uh....
My father was, uh....
He worked at a foundry.
And my mother was a, uh....
She was a clerk in a, uh....
She was a checkout girl
at a grocery store.
[CHUCKLES]
So you know, it's just....
I got a family.
And, uh....
They don't work anymore.
They're retired. I support them.
It's too late.
You know, I want you to know something.
I want you to know
there's been lots of other girls.
There's been lots of women.
But I never felt
anything like this before.
Even when I just...
...hold you in my arms.
It's just the way you feel.
It's something I didn't count on.
I never counted...
...on loving you so much.
You knew it'd be over
when one of us said stop.
But you wouldn't say it.
I almost waited too long.
I'll send someone to get my stuff.
Elizabeth....
I love you.
Would you please come back...
...by the time I count to 50.
One....
[English - US - SDH]