8 Heads in a Duffel Bag (1997) - full transcript

This is a very black comedy. A mob courier is hired to transport the heads of eight murder victims to a mob boss. However, the duffel bag gets mixed up with the bag of a college student who is off on a vacation in Mexico with his girlfriend and her parents. However, the mother is a recovering alcoholic whom everyone believes is delusional when she claims to have found heads.

Man: DIE, SCUMBAGS!

[AUTOMATIC WEAPONS
FIRE, SCREAMING]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE
BY MGM HOME ENTERTAINMENT

Man: RICO, WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH THESE GUYS?

[MEN ARGUING]

COME ON, GET THE WORKS GOING.

WE GOTTA GET THE
HELL OUT OF HERE.

YES.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LATE, TOMMY.

RICO. RELAX.

OK, BENNY. OK.



YOU'RE THE BOSS. COME ON.

THAT'S HUGO PORTO'S MOB, HUH?

YEAH.

THEY TRIED TO MOVE IN
ON BIG SEP'S TERRITORY

DOWN IN ATLANTIC CITY.

KILLED VICTOR VIKING'S
MOM IN THE PROCESS.

WOW. WHAT A BUNCH
OF SCUMBAGS, HUH?

WHATEVER.

AND THERE'S PROOF FOR BIG SEP

AND A TICKET ON THE REDEYE.

THE HEADS ARE NICE AND CLEAN

AND READY TO GO, OK?

OK.

HEY, TOMMY,



BIG SEP'S HOT.

I'M 2 WEEKS LATE
DELIVERING THE MEAT.

IF HE DOESN'T GET THAT
BY NOON TOMORROW,

MORE HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

NO PROBLEM.

[SCRAPE]

Radio: ♪ DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ I'M IN THE GROOVE ♪

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ I'M IN THE GROOVE ♪

♪ I'M IN THE GROOVE ♪

♪ YES, DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME ♪

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME... ♪

♪ NOW ♪

♪ THAT I ♪

♪ CAN DANCE? ♪

♪ DANCE ♪

♪ WATCH ME NOW ♪

♪ WATCH ME NOW ♪

Skycap: YOU TAKE CARE.
YOU HAVE A GOOD TRIP NOW.

HI. HI. CHECKING THOSE?

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT. TICKET, SIR?

HERE YOU GO.

ALL RIGHT. WHERE YOU HEADED?

UH... SAN DIEGO?

MEXICO. EVENTUALLY.

YOU HAVE A GOOD FLIGHT.

THANKS A LOT. ALL RIGHT.

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME? ♪

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME ♪

♪ NOW THAT I ♪

♪ CAN DANCE? ♪

♪ DANCE ♪

HEY, HOW'RE YOU DOING?

THAT GOES WAY... ON TOP.

COME HERE.

UP, UP... OH.

SEE HOW THAT FITS.

HERE.

IT'S JUST THAT THIS THING...

THERE.

THANK YOU. THANKS.

[BEEP BEEP]

MA'AM, WILL YOU STEP
OVER HERE, PLEASE?

GOT TO CHECK YOUR POCKETS...

GOT A GUN! SHE GOT A GUN?

GET IT AWAY FROM HER!

GET HER HAND! GET HER HAND!

OVER HERE!

Woman: OUCH! PLEASE!

[SHOUTING]

Woman: I DON'T OWN A GUN!

MA'AM, STOP STRUGGLING.
BE A LOT EASIER.

[BABY GURGLES]

Mother: OH, YES...

HEY, KID, IS THIS YOURS?

YEAH.

YEAH. DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?

PUT THAT RIGHT UNDER THE SEAT,

AND SEE MAYBE IF YOU
CAN KEEP THAT WITH YOU.

BECAUSE I GOT SOME
IMPORTANT STUFF IN THIS BAG.

I'D LIKE TO KEEP IT CLOSE BY ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

UNH! THANKS.

THAT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU.

GOOD KID. THANK YOU.

OK.

ATTABOY. IT FITS
RIGHT UNDER THERE.

NO, IT DOESN'T FIT
RIGHT UNDER THERE.

MAYBE YOU'LL GET A
COOL SPOT IN ANOTHER BIN.

THANKS. I APPRECIATE
THAT. IT'S NICE OF YOU.

EXCUSE ME.

CAREFUL. CAREFUL.

I ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE IT.

I'M SURE SOMEONE'S GLAD YOU DID.

LET'S SEE, YOU'RE 49-C.

IT'S RIGHT DOWN THIS WAY.

OK. THANKS.

HMM, BABY STUFF.

LET ME SEE...

UH, EXCUSE ME,
SIR. IS THIS YOURS?

UH, YEAH.

I'M SORRY.

WE'LL NEED TO USE
THIS COMPARTMENT.

WOULD YOU MIND
USING ANOTHER ONE?

BECAUSE I HAVE

VALUABLE FAMILY
HEIRLOOMS IN THERE.

OK... UH, SIR,

AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE,

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY SITUATION.

MAYBE YOU CAN USE
SOMEBODY ELSE'S BIN.

I MEAN, THIS KID'S
NOT USING ALL OF HIS.

WOULD YOU MIND IF THEY...

HEY, EXCUSE ME, BUT SCREW YOU.

HEY, HEY, COME ON, BE NICE.

BE A GENTLEMAN, WILL YOU?

WE'RE TRYING TO HELP OVER HERE.

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.

LOOK, PAL, THIS GOES
RIGHT UNDER HERE.

WAIT. UH...

NO, THIS IS SMALL.

THAT'S OK. THANKS.
DON'T... DON'T...

WHAT... WAIT, DON'T KICK IT!

FOR GOD'S SAKE! THOSE
ARE LIVE HUMAN ORGANS!

EXCUSE ME, SIR!

TRUST ME, PAL.

THEY DON'T FEEL IT.

WOULD YOU SIT DOWN, PLEASE?

UH, SIR, I'M REALLY
SORRY ABOUT THAT.

SIR, WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO USE YOUR BIN.

EXCUSE ME. BUT...

AND ACTUALLY, SIR, I THINK

YOUR BAG IS OVER THE SIZE LIMIT.

WELL, NO, BECAUSE, SEE,

THE GUY OUTSIDE MEASURED THIS,

AND HE SAID THAT IT WAS OK.

SIR, IT'S CLEARLY
OVER THE SIZE LIMIT.

IT WILL HAVE TO GO IN CARGO.

UH, LISTEN,

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

HOLD ON. HOLD ON A SECOND.

LISTEN.

MAYBE WE COULD JUST LEAVE MY BAG

WHERE IT IS, ALL RIGHT?

ARE YOU TRYING TO BRIBE ME, SIR?

NO. I'M TRYING TO PURCHASE
A PLACE FOR MY BAG...

THE PLACE FOR YOUR
BAG IS IN CARGO, SIR.

EXCUSE ME.

MAYBE I'LL JUST
TAKE ANOTHER FLIGHT.

FINE.

THE NEXT FLIGHT TO SAN
DIEGO LEAVES IN 7 HOURS, SIR.

WELL, LET ME MAKE A PHONE CALL.

SIR, DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK
THAT WE'RE GONNA HOLD THE PLANE

WHILE YOU USE THE PHONE?

NOW, ARE YOU FLYING
WITH US TONIGHT OR NOT?

ALL RIGHT, MISS BURKE.

YES?

THAT'S YOUR NAME, RIGHT?

YES.

THIS BAG BETTER BE IN SAN DIEGO.

YOU'RE GONNA BE IN A
LOT OF TROUBLE IF IT'S NOT.

YES, SIR. IT WILL BE THE
VERY FIRST OFF THE PLANE.

DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?

WHEN IT'S THERE,
THEN I'LL BE HAPPY.

OK.

HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE. THANK YOU.

HAPPY?

HAPPY? YEAH, I'M HAPPY.

I'M THRILLED.

HAPPY.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

YOU STARTED ALL THIS WITH
THOSE FRIGGING ORGANS.

YOU'RE HAPPY, RIGHT? HAPPY!

Captain: GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

UH... OR SHOULD I
SAY GOOD MORNING?

THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.

WE'RE SORRY FOR THE DELAY,

BUT WE SHOULD BE MOVING
AWAY FROM THE GATE...

LOOK, UH...

I THINK WE GOT OFF
ON THE WRONG FOOT.

I'M CHARLIE.

SO, UH... WHERE YOU HEADED?

I'M GOING TO MEET MY
GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS.

YES. UH...

SHE RACES THESE CARS.

SHE'S GREAT. SHE'S JUST GREAT.

I WISH HER PARENTS
THOUGHT THE SAME OF ME.

I'M ON MY WAY TO MEET
THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN,
LIKE, 6 MONTHS, AND...

I'M GONNA GO TO SLEEP.

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE
GONNA SAY TO THEM, OK?

YEAH. I DON'T KNOW,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

I MEAN, I HAVEN'T EVEN MET THEM,

ALREADY THE FATHER, HE
DOESN'T LIKE ME, I KNOW.

I COULD UNDERSTAND THAT.

I JUST MET YOU, AND I
DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER.

I GOT TO SLEEP. DIDN'T
YOU HEAR ME? COME ON.

I'M JUST TRYING TO
MAKE CONVERSATION.

GOOD. MAKE IT IN SIGN LANGUAGE.

LAURIE?

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

NO.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

THANKS.

WHAT IS THE MATTER?

NOTHING. LET'S
TALK ABOUT IT LATER.

OK.

NO.

NO. JESUS.

PLEASE, NO.

"CHARLIE PRITCHETT"?

SHIT!

WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THERE?

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
PACKED FOR A MONTH.

YOU KNOW ME. I'M
READY FOR ANYTHING.

OH, BOY. LOOK AT THIS LOSER.

WOOLY...

BE NICE, NOW. COME ON.

CHARLIE, THESE ARE MY PARENTS:

ANNETTE AND DICK. ANNETTE.

CHARLIE, IT'S A REAL PLEASURE.

DICK, VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

UH, THIS IS FOR YOU.

OH! THESE WRAPPINGS
ARE BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

OH, MY GOD, DICK. I LEFT
YOURS ON THE PLANE.

NO, NO, NO.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL THE AIRLINE?

WE GOT A LONG RIDE.
WE GOT TO MAKE TRACKS.

SORRY.

WUDJI, WHY DON'T YOU RIDE
SHOTGUN WITH YOUR DAD?

"WUDJI"?

WUDJI... LIKE ME
TO DRIVE? HA HA!

I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT.

NO...

NO. JESUS.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

HOUSE OF PAIN.

YEAH, HELLO, WHO'S THIS?

THIS IS... QADDAFI. WHO'S THIS?

QADDAFI, HUH? LISTEN, UH...

THIS IS BILL.

I'M AN OLD FRIEND OF
CHARLIE PRITCHETT'S.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU
COULD HELP ME FIND HIM.

YEAH. HE'S GONE ON SPRING BREAK

WITH THE REST OF AMERICA.

DID YOU TRY LOOKING IN MEXICO?

THAT... THAT'S VERY FUNNY.

LOOK, THIS IS, UH...
REALLY IMPORTANT.

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD BE A
LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC, QADDAFI?

NOT UNLESS IT'S FOR A GRADE.

HEY, BILL, IS IT?

TELL ME IF THIS SOUNDS
LIKE A PHONE HANGING UP.

[CLICK]

YEAH.

SHIT! SHIT!

[BEEP BEEP BEEP]

SHIT!

I NEED A FLIGHT TO...

BETHESDA UNIVERSITY.

I'M NOT SURE THE UNIVERSITY
HAS THEIR OWN AIRPORT,

BUT WE CAN FLY YOU TO
BALTIMORE. WILL THAT DO?

HEY, DON'T GET CUTE
WITH ME, ASSHOLE, HUH?

WAKE UP, PEOPLE, WE'RE HERE.

MADE IT IN RECORD TIME.

[HONKING]

I'M FAMISHED.

OH, ME, TOO.

BOY, COULD I USE A MARGARITA.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

1350 HOURS.

BEAR...

REMEMBER WHAT WE AGREED
ABOUT YOUR DRINKING?

YOU BE A GOOD BEAR.

TAKE ONE OF YOUR NEW PILLS.

THEY MAKE ME WOOZY, WOOLY.

BESIDES, I SAID I
COULD USE A DRINK.

I DIDN'T SAY I'M HAVING ONE.

LISTEN,

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING IN THIS WHOLE WORLD

THAT COULD EVER...

EVER MAKE ME TAKE A DRINK AGAIN.

SO RELAX, OK?

BIENVENIDOS.
WELCOME BACK, SEÑOR.

HOLA, PACO.

HOPE YOU CATCH
THE BIG ONE THIS TIME.

IAY, AY, AY!

SEÑORITA!

OH. GRACIAS.

GRACIAS.

Tommy: BENNY? I RAN
INTO A LITTLE DELAY HERE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, A DELAY?

EXCUSE ME, ARE
YOU GONNA BE LONG?

A DAY, MAYBE 2.

ON THE PHONE?

WHAT?

WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENED, TOMMY?

HEY, BENNY, I CAN'T
GO INTO IT RIGHT NOW,

BUT IT'S GONNA BE OK. ALL RIGHT?

I MEAN, CAN'T YOU
TALK TO BIG SEP?

BIG SEP IS RIDING
ME LIKE A RACEHORSE.

I TOLD YOU WE WAS LATE.

HEY, LISTEN, THE
JOB IS FINISHED.

WHAT'S... WHAT'S THE BIG
DEAL WITH THE DELIVERY?

TOMMY, YOU DIDN'T
LOSE NOTHING, DID YOU?

HEY, BENNY,

YOU KNOW HOW MANY YEARS
I DID THIS FOR YOUR FATHER?

HOW COULD YOU EVEN ASK
ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

MISTER...

HEY, LADY, YOU INTERRUPT
ME ONE MORE TIME,

YOU'RE GONNA SWALLOW THIS PHONE.

NOW GET OUT OF HERE.

GO AHEAD! TAKE IT ON THE HEELS!

ONE DAY.

YOU GOT ONE DAY, TOMMY.

IF BIG SEP DOESN'T
GET THOSE HEADS

IN HIS HANDS BY NOON TOMORROW,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL
CHOP OFF YOUR OWN HEAD

AND PUT IT IN WITH
THE OTHERS. CAPISCE?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, ALL RIGHT?

HE'LL HAVE 'EM BEFORE
THEY START STINKING.

PLEASE.

OR YOU'LL BE STINKING.

YEAH, YEAH. I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

YEAH, I KNOW.

HERE.

IT'S ALL YOURS.

WE'VE DONE A LOT
OF REDECORATING...

PEPE...

SINCE YOU'VE BEEN HERE, SEÑOR.

IT'S QUITE LOVELY.
WE HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

UH, SEÑOR PRITCHETT,

YOUR ROOM.

THANK YOU.

EL MINIBAR...

EL BAÑO, THE BATHROOM.

IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,

PLEASE CALL ME.

EVERYBODY, UNPACK LATER.

THEY'RE ONLY SERVING
LUNCH DOWNSTAIRS

FOR 10 MORE MINUTES.

YES, SIR. NO PROBLEM.

GOOD.

PEPE, VENGA.

PEPE, VENGA.

SEÑOR, THIS IS YOURS.

COME ON, BEAR.

I'M COMING, WOOLY.

IT'S 206. DOS CERO SEIS.

AWW...

CAN WE KEEP THE PUPPY, WOOLY?

OK, LAURIE, WHAT'S GOING ON?

NOT NOW, CHARLIE.

LET'S JUST TALK
ABOUT IT LATER, OK?

NO.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT NOW.

LOOK, CHARLIE, I DON'T KNOW...

QUITE HOW TO PUT THIS,

BUT...

I THINK I WANT A DIVORCE.

WHAT?

A DIVORCE?

WHA... WE'RE NOT EVEN MARRIED.

WE'RE NOT EVEN ENGAGED.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

THAT'S WHY YOU INVITED
ME HERE, TO TELL ME THIS?

WHY'D YOU INVITE ME
TO MEET YOUR PARENTS?

WELL, I DIDN'T REALLY...
ACTUALLY INVITE YOU.

EXCUSE ME, BUT...

YOU INVITED ME TO
YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE,

AND THEN YOU CALLED AND SAID
WE'RE COMING TO MEXICO INSTEAD.

WHEN I SAID WE WERE
GOING TO MEXICO,

I DIDN'T ACTUALLY MEAN YOU.

WHAT?

IT WAS JUST SUPPOSED
TO BE ME AND MY PARENTS

FOR MY DAD'S BIRTHDAY,

AND YOU GOT SO
EXCITED, I DIDN'T...

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW
TO BREAK IT TO YOU.

LAURIE, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?

6 MONTHS AT HOME, AND YOU'VE...

MUTATED

FROM A FUN-LOVING
FREE SPIRIT INTO...

NANCY REAGAN.

LOOK,

I JUST WANT STABILITY
IN MY LIFE, CHARLIE.

I NEED TO BE WITH SOMEONE

WHO REALLY KNOWS WHO THEY ARE,

AND... AND KNOWS
WHAT THEY WANT IN LIFE.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT?

YOUR FOLKS.

THEY DON'T LIKE ME,

AND IT'S AFFECTING THE
WAY THAT YOU FEEL ABOUT ME,

BUT JUST WAIT, LAURIE.

MY BEING HERE
WILL TURN OUT TO BE

A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.

I'M NOT GIVING UP
ON YOU, LAURIE.

IS MY HAIR ALL RIGHT?

I AM OPEN-MINDED.

IT'S JUST THAT HE'S SUCH A DIP!

DO YOU THINK HE'S A DIP?
I THINK HE'S REALLY CUTE,

AND HE SEEMS FUNNY,
AND HE SEEMS SMART...

AND, I MEAN, WHAT DO
YOU WANT FOR LAURIE?

I WANT WHAT I WAS

WHEN I WAS HIS AGE.

MM.

I WAS CHARISMATIC...

MM-HMM. AMBITIOUS...

THAT'S RIGHT.

I WAS CLEARLY HEADED TO THE TOP.

CLEARLY, DARLING.

THE VERY, VERY TOP.

I MEAN,

WE CAN BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER

WHEN WE'RE ALONE, CAN'T WE?

OH, I THINK THAT'S A
GOOD IDEA, WOOLY.

I MEAN, I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE...

OH, I FORGOT SOMETHING!

WILL YOU GO DOWN
AND GET US A TABLE?

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

NO PROBLEM. I JUST
FORGOT SOMETHING,

AND I'LL BE THERE IN
JUST A SECOND, OK?

I'M RUNNING.

[BELL RINGS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[GASPING FOR BREATH]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CRUNCH]

OHH...

SEÑORITA, NO, NO. LISTEN.

DECORATION, NOT FOR
SALE. SORRY. HA HA!

I BETTER GO CHECK ON BEAR.

AH, MRS. BENNETT.

OH, THERE YOU ARE, BEAR.

WE ORDERED YOU AN ENCHILADA.

BEAR, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

MRS. BENNETT...

JESUS, MOM, ARE YOU OK?

WOULD YOU... WOULD
YOU LIKE TO... TO SIT?

MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[CHAIR FALLS]

GOOD GOD, BEAR,

DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE
BEEN DRINKING AGAIN.

NOW, REMEMBER
WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID.

TAKE NICE, DEEP BREATHS.

I HAVE SOME PILLS IF
YOU'RE NOT FEELING WELL.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. WHY
DON'T YOU TAKE THEM...

UH, IT'S... IT'S...

ALL RIGHT, FOLKS.

SHE'S JUST A LITTLE HUNGRY.

SHE'S HUNGRY AND HER
BLOOD SUGAR'S DROPPED.

ARE YOU HUNGRY, BEAR?

MOM, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

WOULD YOU LIKE AN ENCHILADA?

AAH!

IT'S ALL RIGHT, FOLKS.

NO HARM DONE.

THEY'RE JUST...

HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER.

YOU LITTLE SON OF A BITCH.

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN. HUH!

[SNORING]

HUH?

WAKE UP, QADDAFI.

WE'RE GONNA PLAY COLLEGE BOWL.

FOR 10 POINTS OR YOUR LIFE...

HEY, STEVIE...

WHERE'S CHARLIE?

YOU GOT ANY NOTES
FROM LAST NIGHT?

I DON'T NEED 'EM.

HEY!

NO, NO, I'VE GOT IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SEÑORITA, YOUR MOTHER
IS GOING TO BE FINE.

TAKE THIS, PLEASE.

SEÑOR, I GAVE HER A SEDATIVE.

ES MUY, MUY STRONG.

LET HER REST, HUH?

THANK YOU, DOCTOR.

WE'VE ONLY BEEN
BACK HERE AN HOUR,

AND ALREADY SHE'S ON THE BOOZE.

WOULD YOU GO EASY ON HER, DAD?

SHE'S OBVIOUSLY
UNDER A LOT OF STRESS.

OK.

WHEN SHE WAKES UP,

WE WON'T MENTION A THING.

OK, LAURIE?

OHH.

WHY DON'T YOU WATCH
HER WHILE CHARLIE AND I GO

RENT A BOAT FOR TOMORROW?

OK, CHARLIE?

YEAH. GREAT.

[GASPS] AAH...

IS MY HAIR OK?

UH, UH... DO YOU MIND

IF I CHANGE MY
SHIRT BEFORE WE GO?

NO. I'LL USE THE
PHONE IN YOUR ROOM

SO I WON'T DISTURB HER.

Tommy: ALL RIGHT.

WE'RE GONNA PLAY A GAME CALLED

"BE HONEST WITH ME."

NOW, THE RULES ARE VERY SIMPLE.

I ASK YOU A QUESTION,

AND YOU HAVE TO BE
HONEST WITH ME, OK?

NOW... WHERE'D CHARLIE PRITCHETT

GO ON VACATION?

MM MMN'T MMNOW.

SECOND RULE:

YOU HAVE TO ANSWER, QADDAFI.

[MUMBLED] WHY DOES HE
KEEP CALLING ME QADDAFI?

[MUFFLED] I DON'T KNOW.

NOW, LOOK, I DON'T WANT

TO HAVE TO PUT YOU KIDS

THROUGH HELL.

SO...

LET ME TELL YOU

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN HERE.

FIRST, I'M GONNA HURT YOU.

THEN YOU'RE GONNA
TRY TO BE BRAVE.

THEN I'M GONNA HURT YOU AGAIN.

THEN YOU'RE GONNA
TELL ME EVERYTHING.

[MUFFLED] WE DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING.

[MUFFLED] WE DON'T KNOW.

THAT'S NOT BEING HONEST.

THAT'S NOT HONEST.
THAT'S NOT HONEST.

OW!

NOW, LOOK.

THIS IS NOT GONNA
GET ANY EASIER.

IT'S ONLY GONNA GET HARDER.

SO I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU'RE PROTECTING

THIS KID, 'CAUSE
I'M GONNA FIND HIM.

MM-MM-MM...

HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.

I SWEAR TO GOD, WE
DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

ALL HE SAID WAS MEXICO,

AND HE'S... AAH!

COME ON!

WE'RE NOT TRYING TO PROTECT HIM!

WE'RE NOT... OW!

I WON'T REPEAT MYSELF.

OW!

HMM?

MOM, IF YOU WANT TO COME
DOWN, YOU'RE CERTAINLY WELCOME.

IT'S JUST THAT THE
WEATHER IS TERRIBLE.

Woman: WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT...

WELL, IT'S RAINED SINCE
WE GOT HERE, MOM.

THERE'S STORMS EVERYWHERE.

I MEAN, MORE STORMS
ARE ON THE WAY.

MOM, I'M JUST
THINKING ABOUT YOU.

WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE...

MOM... OF COURSE
WE'D LOVE TO HAVE

YOUR COMPANY, MOM.

WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE
YOUNG ENOUGH TO TRAVEL.

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

I KNOW YOU WANT
TO DO IT WITH HER...

MOM, PLEASE, PLEASE,
MOM, DON'T DREDGE THAT UP.

AAH!

Charlie: AAH!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I...

YOU OK?

ANTS! ANTS! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

ANTS?

I DON'T SEE ANY ANTS. WHAT
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

MOM, THERE ARE ANTS DOWN HERE.

ANTS EVERYWHERE.

MOM, PLEASE DON'T
DREDGE THAT UP.

BECAUSE IT'S GOT
NOTHING TO DO WITH HER!

AAH!

WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT?

Dick: WHAT IS IT?

I... I...

HAVE A CRAMP IN MY LEG.

A CRAMP?

GAAA!

WELL, PULL YOURSELF
TOGETHER. STOP SCREAMING!

ARE YOU ARGUING
WITH YOUR WIFE AGAIN?

MOM, SORRY. I'M...

NO, MOM, I'M NOT
ARGUING WITH MY WIFE,

I'M ARGUING WITH
YOU! I MEAN, MOM...

PLEASE, I'LL HAVE
TO CALL YOU BACK.

MOM, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT BACK.

WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN?

NOW, WHY DON'T I
MEET YOU DOWNSTAIRS

IN THE LOBBY IN, SAY, 5 MINUTES?

5 MINUTES!

ALL RIGHT? 5 MINUTOS!

AND DON'T SEND THIS TO LAUNDRY.

IT'S GONNA COST
ME AN ARM AND A LEG.

[MUTTERING]

GOD...

UH, GAH...

OBVIOUSLY, THIS IS...

THIS ISN'T REAL.

IT'S, UH...

IT'S...

IT'S A FAKE.

IT'S A FAKE.

AAH! AAH!

AAH...

SEÑOR!

SEÑOR!

ARE YOU OK?

I... I... I'M FINE.

I ATE A HOT PEPPER.

OH! HOT! HOT PEPPER!

VENGA, PEPE.

NO, NO, NO.

BAD DOG.

CHARLIE, ARE YOU OK?

I'M FINE. I... I JUST
ATE A KILLER PEPPER.

A KILLER PEPPER.
I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

THERE'S SOME WATER
IN THE MINIBAR, SIR...

NO! NO, NO. HA...

I... I LIKE THE SENSATION.

UH... YEE-HAH!

YEE-HAH! HA HA!

ENCHILADA! HA HA!

OK. WELL, YOU CALL ME IF
YOU NEED ANYTHING, EH?

WILL DO. THANK YOU, PACO.

PEPE, VENGA.

PEPE!

IANDALE, PEPE!

GOD!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

THE POLICE! THIS HAS GOT
TO BE A SETUP. OH, GOD...

THERE'S GOT TO BE A
CAMERA OR SOMETHING.

WE'RE IN MEXICO.

WHY WOULD THERE BE
A CAMERA IN MEXICO?

OH! MEXICAN CANDID CAMERA.

STILL ON THE AIR!

CHARLIE!

YOU'RE ACTING INSANE.

I'M OK.

JUST GET IT TOGETHER,

OK?

I'M OK. I'M OK.

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?

LOOK, LAURIE...

YOU GOT TO PROMISE
YOU WON'T FREAK, OK?

OK.

I... I FOUND SOMETHING...

IN MY DUFFEL BAG...

SOMETHING... OH!

I MEAN...

LOOK, IT'S A...

WHAT?

FORGET IT. IT'S NOTHING.

CHARLIE PRITCHETT,
THIS IS SWEET!

NO!

YOU GOT ME A PRESENT!

NO!

I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D GOT ME...

IT'S NOT A PRESENT, LAURIE!

LAURIE, DON'T
OPEN IT. IT'S A HEAD!

OHH...

LAURIE?

LAURIE!

ARE YOU OK?

HONEY...

YEAH.

AAH!

[MUFFLED] AAH! AAH!

[KNOCKING]

SEÑORA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

SHE'S FINE.

EVERYTHING'S FINE.

SHE HAD A PEPPER, TOO.

SHE... SHE LOVES THEM, ACTUALLY.

ARE YOU SURE, SEÑORITA?

[PEPE GROWLING]

HEY, PEPE,

PEPE, VENGA.

SUELTALE. A, SUELTA.

PEPE, iA! iSUELTA!

PUES VAMOS.

PEPE.

PEPE, ANDALE. VAMOS.

VAMOS, PEPE.

[ARF]

¿QUé PASA?

YOU CALL ME IF YOU
NEED ANYTHING, EH?

WILL DO.

[MUFFLED] AAH!

THANK YOU, PACO. BYE-BYE.

MUY BIEN.

LAURIE,

ARE YOU OK?

CAN YOU STOP SCREAMING?

GOOD GOD, CHARLIE,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH A HEAD IN YOUR BAG?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU THINK I KNOW?

YES, I THINK YOU'D KNOW!

IF I HAD A HEAD IN MY BAG,

I THINK I'D KNOW!

WELL, LAURIE, DON'T GET UPSET,

BUT THERE'S MORE THAN ONE.

WHAT?

CHARLIE, THERE'S 2?

UH-UH.

NO.

3? 4? HOW MANY?

UM...

8.

AAH!

WAIT! LAURIE!

ESOS GRINGOS.. SON LOCOS.

YOU'RE NOT IN THE HALL.
YOU'RE IN THE CLOSET.

DON'T YOU THINK I REALIZE THAT?

LAURIE...

I'M NOT COMING OUT.

LAURIE...

I'M NOT!

YOU HAVE TO COME OUT.

NO.

THE BODIES ARE IN THERE.

AAH!

I WAS KIDDING. I WAS KIDDING.

KIDDING? YOU'RE KIDDING
AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

I HAD TO CALM YOU DOWN.

FOR GOD'S SAKE,
PLEASE STAY CALM, OK?

CALM? YOU EXPECT
ME TO REMAIN CALM

WHEN YOU HAVE 8 HUMAN
HEADS IN YOUR LUGGAGE?

LAURIE, THERE MAY
BE 2 PEOPLE IN CHINA

WHO DIDN'T HEAR YOU.

WELL, THEN, WHAT
THE HELL'S GOING ON?

I WISH I KNEW.

COULD IT BE STEVE OR ERNIE

PLAYING SOME SORT OF SICK,

HIDEOUS MEDICAL PRANK?

I DON'T THINK SO.

THE THOUGHT OF
BLOOD BOTHERS STEVE,

AND THIS ISN'T ERNIE'S STYLE.

THEY'RE MY BEST FRIENDS.

COME ON, THEY'RE DULL
GUYS WITH DULL LIVES.

PSYCHO. JEEZ!

PSYCHO.

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

I DON'T KNOW A THING!

YOU'RE RIGHT.

BESIDES, THE ONLY HEADS WE
HAVE ACCESS TO ARE CADAVERS.

THESE HEADS ARE FRESH.

CHARLIE...

I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S TRUE.
CHECK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF.

NO. LET'S JUST CALL THE POLICE.

NO. NO. NO.

WHY?

BECAUSE WE'RE IN MEXICO, LAURIE.

A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY.

YOU DON'T JUST CALL THE
POLICE IN A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY

AND TELL THEM YOU FOUND 8
HUMAN HEADS IN YOUR LUGGAGE!

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO LAWS HERE.

THEY'LL TURN ME INTO A TACO.

ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO
YOU SUGGEST, THEN?

WE HAVE TO THINK THIS THING
THROUGH RATIONALLY, OK?

OH, MY GOD, CHARLIE.

WHAT IF THEY HAVE YOUR BAG?

YOUR BAG. WHAT?

WHAT IF THE PERSON
WHO OWNS THIS BAG

HAS YOUR BAG?

THEY'RE GONNA COME
LOOKING FOR YOU.

UH... UH...

UH... LAURIE, I JUST TOOK A
MENTAL INVENTORY OF MY BAG.

THERE'S NOTHING IN THAT BAG THAT
COULD POSSIBLY LEAD THEM HERE.

HIS FAMILY LIVES IN
CLEARY, VERMONT.

THEY'RE IN THE
FURNITURE BUSINESS.

LAURIE'S FROM DENVER,
LAST NAME BENNETT.

B-E-N-N-E-T-T.

ON VACATION IN MEXICO.

OK, THAT'S REASSURING.

WHAT DO WE DO?

SIMPLE.

ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS THROW THEM AWAY.

THEY LOCK THE GARBAGE.

Paco: SEÑOR PRITCHETT?

PACO.

CAN I HELP YOU?

UH, NO, NO. JUST PUTTING THE...

THE T-TRASH IN THE GARBAGE.

PUTTING THE GARBAGE
IN THE TRASH, YOU KNOW?

WELL, I'LL TAKE IT FOR YOU.

NO, NO. I GOT IT. WHAT IS IT?

IT'S, UH, IT'S NONE
OF YOUR BUSINESS.

NO, SEÑOR. I MEANT,
WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE

IS IT? ALUMINUM, PLASTIC?

WE RECYCLE HERE.

IT'S REALLY NOT
RECYCLABLE. IT'S... IT'S... IT'S...

IT'S PERISHABLE.

OH. WELL, YOU...

PERISHABLES WE COMPOST.

IT'S REALLY NOT COMPOSTABLE.

SURE, IT IS.
EVERYTHING PERISHABLE

IS COMPOSTABLE.

JESUS CHRIST!

[ARF ARF ARF]

I MEAN, COME ON.

SORRY, SEÑOR.

GO AHEAD AND PUT IT IN.

THANK YOU.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT LATER.

ACTUALLY, YOU
KNOW WHAT? IT'S FINE.

I'LL JUST TAKE IT BACK.

IT'S REALLY NOT
THAT BAD, AND, UH...

I JUST NEED A LITTLE OIL AND
FORMALDEHYDE AND VINEGAR,

AND IT'LL BE JUST AS GOOD AS...

ARE YOU SURE, SEÑOR?

YES. THANK YOU, PACO.

Dick: MOM, WHY ARE YOU

BRINGING MY
INHERITANCE INTO THIS?

IT'S MY MONEY.

EXCUSE ME.

YOU STILL HAVEN'T CHANGED?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, I, UH...

NO, NOT YOU, MOM.

I FOUND A RAT IN MY ROOM.
IT HAD A BALL OF YARN...

I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE,
BUT ARE YOU COMING,

OR AM I GONNA
SPEND THE ENTIRE DAY

WAITING IN THE LOBBY FOR YOU?

YOU'RE SO RIGHT. I'M SO SORRY.

I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

Mom: YOU'VE SIDED
WITH HER ALL ALONG.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO, FLUSH THEM?

NOTHING...

FITS...

AROUND...

[KNOCK ON DOOR] HERE.

UH... NO, NO, NO.

POR FAVOR, NO CLEAN.

NO CLEAN. NO CLEAN. NO CLEAN.

NO CLEAN.

NO CLEAN. GRACIAS.

I MEAN, I'M ASKING
YOU TO COME, MOM,

BUT THERE'S REALLY NO
NEED FOR YOU TO COME.

IT'S 200 DEGREES HERE.

UH-HUH.

AND YOU GO IN HERE.

LIKE...

THAT.

MOM, IF WE'RE CUT
OFF, IT'S THE LIGHTNING.

WHAT?

OK.

GOTTA GO RENT A BOAT.

I'VE GOT 8 HUMAN
HEADS IN MY ROOM,

AND I GOTTA GO RENT A BOAT.

OK.

[SLIDING]

MRS. PRITCHETT?

HI. THIS IS, UH, ERNIE LIPSCOMB,

CHARLIE'S FRIEND
FROM MEDICAL SCHOOL...

GREAT. IN ACAPULCO,
PLEASE, THEN.

THE NUMBERS FOR AS MANY
HOTELS AS YOU CAN GIVE ME...

I KNOW. I KNOW. IT IS LATE.

IT'S JUST WE'VE
RUN INTO A LITTLE BIT

OF A SITUATION UP HERE...

ALL RIGHT. OK. THE MAYAN...

NO, NO, NO. RELAX.
EVERYTHING'S FINE,

BUT I DO NEED TO GET
A HOLD OF CHARLIE.

DID HE BY ANY CHANCE TELL YOU

WHAT HOTEL HE WAS
STAYING AT IN MEXICO?

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.

HE DIDN'T.

RIGHT. NO. I KNOW
HOW SONS CAN BE...

ALL RIGHT. THAT'S
THE LAST ONE, RIGHT?

I'M GOOD. SCHOOL'S
A LITTLE CRAZY.

YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES.

YOU SURE HE'S ONLY
GOING AWAY FOR A WEEK?

HE PACKED ENOUGH
STUFF HERE FOR A YEAR.

CHARLIE'S A COMPULSIVE PACKER.

SLEIGHT OF MIND

BY CHARLIE PRITCHETT AGAIN.

HE'S WRITING A DETECTIVE NOVEL.

IT SOUNDS LIKE HIS
AUTOBIOGRAPHY.

IT'S A PUN ON SLIGHT-OF-HAND
AND DIM-WITTED.

YOU KNOW, A PUN.
PLAY ON WORDS. GET IT?

NO, NO, NO. RELAX.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.

MM-HMM.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.
WE GOT MIDTERMS...

[GUNSHOT]

I'LL TALK TO YOU
SOON. GOTTA GO. BYE.

SHIT.

I POPPED THE LAST GUY
WHO TRIED TO PUN ME,

ASSHOLE. GET IT?

YOU GET IT?

YEAH, I CAN GET IT, TOO.

MAKE SOME MORE CALLS.

YOU, TOO, ASSHOLE.

CHARLIE, THIS IS NONE OF
MY BUSINESS, HOPEFULLY,

BUT LET'S REVIEW.

YOU'VE BEEN PRE-LAW,
PRE-ARCHITECT,

PRE-VET, PRE-MED.

NO. REAL MED.

AND NOW LAURIE
TELLS ME THIS WEEK

YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT
BECOMING A HEADSHRINKER.

CHARLIE...

A... A... A WHAT?

SHRINK. HEADSHRINKER.
PSYCHOANALYST.

WHATEVER YOU CALL AN OVERPAID
HAND-HOLDER THESE DAYS.

UM... ACTUALLY, SIR,

I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT,

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'M DOING ANYMORE.

I'M CERTAINLY AWARE OF THAT.

DAD, ENOUGH.

ANNETTE?

BEAR?

WOOLY, ARE WE ALONE?

YEAH, WE'RE ALONE,
BUT WHERE ARE YOU?

OH, WOOLY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?

WOOLY, WOOLY, THANK
GOD. THANK GOD YOU'RE ALIVE.

STILL ALIVE?

OF COURSE I'M STILL ALIVE.

WHERE'S LAURIE? WHERE'S LAURIE?

NOT WITH HIM! OH, MY
GOD, NOT WITH THAT MANIAC.

HONEY, CALM DOWN AND TELL ME

WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

OUR DAUGHTER IS
DATING A MASS MURDERER.

I WENT INTO HIS ROOM TO
TAKE A GIFT TO PUT IN HIS BAG,

AND IN HIS BAG, HE'S
GOT BODY PARTS.

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

SEÑORA BENNETT. I
SORRY TO SCARE YOU.

I JUST FIXING THE GUTTER.

HA HA HA HA.

DICK, I AM NOT CRAZY.
I KNOW WHAT I SAW.

AND I BELIEVE YOU.

NO, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

YES, I DO BELIEVE YOU.

DICK, I SAW...

BUT YOU REMEMBER

WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID
ABOUT YOUR DRINKING.

I DID NOT HALLUCINATE IT.

I HAD THE DRINK AFTER I
SAW THEM. PLEASE, WOOLY.

WHAT ABOUT THE PILLS?
I SAW YOU TAKE THEM.

YOU SAID YOURSELF
THEY MADE YOU WOOZY.

RIGHT.

BUT THEN WHAT ABOUT THE
BAG? OK, WHERE'S HIS BAG?

I DON'T KNOW,

BUT I WAS IN HIS ROOM
WHEN HE UNPACKED.

HE UNPACKED RIGHT
IN FRONT OF ME.

WOULD A MANIAC DO THAT?

NO.

OH, NO.

OH, NO.

OH, NO.

NO, NO, NO.

NO. UH...

OH...

NO!

IT'S NOT MY ROOM.

IT'S NOT MY ROOM! HA HA.

IT IS MY ROOM. AHH.

OK.

SEÑOR.

WHAT?

WE CLEAN ROOM.

WHAT?

ROOM CLEAN.

OH, NO.

IHOLA!

NO. I AM... PACO?

UM...

BLIND.

I'M BLIND.

I MEAN...

YOU'RE BLIND. I MEAN, UH...

I'M A GUEST...

AND I FORGOT SOMETHING.

ADlóS.

ADlóS.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

I DRAW THE LINE ON MASS GRAVES.

MASS GRAVES?

MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST DO INDIVIDUAL...

7 OF THEM, YOU KNOW?

WE DON'T HAVE TIME.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS REMINDS ME
OF WHEN I WAS A KID.

I WAS 13 YEARS OLD, AND, UH...

ME AND MY FRIENDS

USED TO RIP THE
HEADS OFF BARBIE DOLLS

AND BURY THEM IN THE
MUD IN THE BACKYARD.

REALLY? YOU USED
TO RIP THE HEAD...

IHOLA, AMIGOS!

FIND ANY BURIED
TREASURES, GRINGOS?

WE HAVE LAWS
ABOUT THESE DESERTS.

THEY'RE ENVIRONMENTALLY
PROTECTED NOW, YOU KNOW?

ACTUALLY, NO, WE DIDN'T KNOW.

Sí. Sí.

WE GOT TO PROTECT THE SNAKES,

PROTECT THE LIZARDS,
PROTECT THE TOADS.

ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH
THE MEXICAN HORNY TOAD,

CHIQUITA?

OH, NO.

OH, YEAH. THE MEXICAN HORNY TOAD

IS A VERY SPECIAL SPECIES.

IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO
HURT A HORNY TOAD IN ANY WAY.

OHH! SHE JUST HURT A HORNY TOAD!

Charlie: LAURIE!

[SIREN]

WHOA. iAMIGOS, VAMONOS!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH.

NO!

SHIT!

THEY STOLE MY CAR. GO GET 'EM!

IALTO! GO GET 'EM.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

DICK IS GONNA KILL ME.

I WANT YOU TO STAY
HERE AT YOUR HOTEL.

YOU'RE MUCH SAFER HERE.

OK.

THANK YOU, SIR. THANK YOU.

SEÑOR?

YOU FORGOT YOUR BAG.

OH, JEEZ!

THANK YOU. THANK YOU, SIR.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT.

THAT WENT WELL.

CHARLIE, I GOT IT. FEDEX.

WHAT?

FEDEX 'EM TO STEVE.

FEDEX. LAURIE, WE'RE IN MEXICO.

THERE IS NO FEDEX.

WELL, THEN MEXEX
THEM. I DON'T CARE.

THE POINT IS TO SHIP 'EM.

AND JUST LET STEVE INNOCENTLY
OPEN A PACKAGE FULL OF HEADS?

OF COURSE NOT. WE'LL CALL HIM.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS, I WOULD
LIKE TO DO THIS FOREVER,

BUT, UH, I MEAN, I'M SORRY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

I THINK IT'S TIME

I GOT RID OF YOU TWO
AND MOVED ALONG.

COME ON. COME OVER HERE.

WHAT? YOU CAN'T JUST KILL US.

WE'RE TRYING, ALL RIGHT?

TRYING? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT'S THIS LOOK LIKE,
THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS?

I NEED THE BAG. GET OVER HERE!

TRYING? GET DOWN.

LISTEN, WE CAN CALL MORE PEOPLE.

GET DOWN.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

CAN I ANSWER THAT?
IT MIGHT BE CHARLIE.

[RING]

PUT IT ON SPEAKER PHONE.

[RING]

HELLO?

STEVE.

OH, CHARLIE, THANK GOD.

LISTEN TO ME, YOU ASSHOLE.

YOU GOT MY HEADS,

AND I WANT 'EM BACK,
YOU UNDERSTAND?

WHO IS THIS?

NEVER MIND WHO THIS IS.

I WANT THOSE HEADS.

JESUS CHRIST. YOU'RE THE
GUY FROM THE AIRPLANE.

CHARLIE, LISTEN.
LISTEN. WE... OW!

WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE,

A FAMILY REUNION?

OW! AAH! AAH!

STEVE. WHAT ARE
YOU DOING TO STEVE?

I'M KILLING HIM

UNLESS YOU SHUT
UP AND LISTEN TO ME.

WHERE ARE YA?

I'M IN BAJA,

6 HOURS SOUTH OF SAN DIEGO.

LISTEN TO ME.

YOU MEET ME AT THE
SAN DIEGO AIRPORT

AND BRING ALL 8 HEADS WITH YA.

SAN DIEGO AIRPORT?

I'M ON VACATION WITH
MY GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS.

OW! OW!

OK. OK. SAN DIEGO.

YOU MAKE SURE
YOU'RE THERE BY 6:00.

IF YOU AIN'T THERE,

YOUR BUDDIES HERE
ARE HISTORY, YOU GOT IT?

BUT WHAT IF I DON'T
HAVE ALL 8 HEADS?

WHAT?

I, UH, I LOST ONE.

YOU LOST ONE? YOU LOST ONE?

HOW THE HELL COULD YOU LOSE ONE?

A MAID GOT IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN A MAID?
HOW THE HELL DID A MAID...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHICH ONE DID YOU LOSE?

I DON'T KNOW.

JEEZ! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT.

DAMN IT!

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T THINK
HE'S TAKING IT TOO WELL.

HE'S FREAKIN' OUT.

CHARLIE, THIS GUY IS SERIOUS.

HE'S NOT SCREWIN' AROUND.

Steve: HE'S A PSYCHO. YOU
GOTTA DO WHAT HE SAYS.

'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T...

ARE YOU THERE?

YEAH. YEAH.

LISTEN TO THIS. BRING THE REST

AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE THERE.

REMEMBER WHAT I'M TELLING YOU.

YOU GOT IT?

GOT IT. BEFORE YOU
HANG UP, THOUGH...

WHAT?

IF YOU HURT MY FRIENDS,

YOU'LL NEVER GET THEM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
THREATENING ME?

NO. I'M JUST TELLING YOU A FACT.

AND DON'T LOSE MY BOOK, EITHER.

IT'S MY ONLY COPY.

CHARLIE...

HEY. AAH! AAH!

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
FORGET THE BOOK.

UH, I'LL BE THERE.

YEAH, YOU BETTER.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO SAN DIEGO.

SAN DIEGO?

MY DAD WILL SHOOT HIMSELF.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA TELL HIM?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN

HE FORGOT TO TURN
IN HIS LAB REPORT?

I KNOW IT SOUNDS FLAKY...

FLAKY? IT'S RIDICULOUS.

YOU MEAN HE CAME
ALL THE WAY TO MEXICO

WITHOUT TURNING IN A REPORT,

AND FOR THAT, WE
HAVE TO GO HOME?

MOM'S SICK, AND
ANYWAY, IT'S YOUR FAULT.

MY FAULT?

HE TOOK YOUR ADVICE.
HE'S DECIDED ON SOMETHING.

HE'S DECIDED HE'LL
NEVER BE A MEMBER

OF THIS FAMILY. THAT'S FOR SURE.

WE'RE LEAVING.

HOW DID HE TAKE IT?

IT'S GONNA HAVE TO
FALL INTO THE CATEGORY

OF BLESSING IN DISGUISE.

I'LL MAKE IT UP TO HIM.

I'LL GIVE HIM A YEAR
OF FREE ANALYSIS.

CUTE. HERE.

WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S A SURPRISE
FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.

HE LIKES THIS MACHO STUFF.

UM, CAN YOU PACK IT IN YOUR BAG?

I DON'T WANT HIM TO SEE IT.

WHERE EXACTLY WOULD
YOU SUGGEST THAT I PUT IT?

IF WE'RE GOING, LET'S GET GOING.

RIGHT, DAD.

THE SHIRT'S FOR
YOU. GET PACKING.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Maid: LAUNDRY.

I DIDN'T...

AAH! AAH!

HEY, WHO'S THIS
GUY? HE MIGHT DO.

DO FOR WHAT?

HUGO.

WAIT A MINUTE.
ARE YOU TELLING US

YOU'RE TRYING TO
FIND A LOOK-ALIKE

FOR THE HEAD CHARLIE LOST?

YEAH.

WE GOT SOME TIME TO KILL
BEFORE WE GO TO THE AIRPORT.

OH, MY GOD.

BUT THESE ARE
COLLEGE PROFESSORS.

YOU KNOW, INNOCENT PEOPLE.

YOU CAN'T JUST KILL
INNOCENT PEOPLE

BECAUSE THEY LOOK
LIKE SOMEONE ELSE.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
NOBODY'S INNOCENT.

NOW, WHO IS HE?

HE WAS MY ANATOMY PROFESSOR.

HE ALMOST FLUNKED ME.

GOOD.

HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO
GET EVEN WITH THE PRICK.

GET ME HIS ADDRESS.

WAIT A MINUTE. I JUST
THOUGHT OF SOMETHING.

WHAT?

CRYONICS.

CRY WHAT? CRYONICS.

FROZEN BODIES. THIS UNIVERSITY

HAS THE BIGGEST CRYONICS
FOUNDATION IN THE COUNTRY.

SO WHAT?

SO IT COULD SAVE YOU A
LOT OF TROUBLE IS SO WHAT.

YOU GO ON A KILLING SPREE HERE,

BIG SEP'S GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT.

A COUPLE OF GANGSTERS
DIE, NOBODY CARES.

BUT YOU BLOW AWAY PROFESSORS,

BIG SEP'S GONNA READ ABOUT THAT.

MM-HMM.

BIG SEP DON'T READ.

YEAH, WELL, STILL,
THIS CRYONICS FACILITY

HAS HUNDREDS OF FROZEN HEADS.

WHY THEY GOT HUNDREDS
OF FROZEN HEADS?

I THINK FOR
SITUATIONS LIKE THIS.

HEY, DON'T BE A
LITTLE SMARTASS, YOU.

LOOK, THEY HAVE 'EM

BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE HOPING
THAT IN A COUPLE OF HUNDRED YEARS,

MAYBE THEY CAN
BRING 'EM BACK TO LIFE,

CLONE 'EM A HEALTHY BODY.

ARE YOU JERKIN' ME AROUND?

WHAT? OH, MY GOD.

YOU JUST PUT WELTS AND
BRUISES OVER 90% OF MY BODY.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT HAVING ME HELP YOU

DECAPITATE SOME PROFESSOR.

WOULD I BE JERKING YOU AROUND?

CALM DOWN, TOUGH GUY.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?

I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU
THAT RIGHT ACROSS CAMPUS

IS A GOLD MINE OF HEADS.

HEADS "R" US. NIGHT
OF A THOUSAND HEADS.

IF I WAS A GUY IN
DESPERATE NEED OF A HEAD,

AS YOU ARE,

I'D AT LEAST CHECK IT OUT.

SEÑOR, I CAN'T FIND
YOUR JEEP ANYWHERE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU CAN'T FIND IT?

IT'S RED. ROJO.

OH, MY GOD. I FORGOT.

WE... WE WENT FOR
A DRIVE LAST NIGHT,

AND, UH, IT GOT STOLEN.

YOU FORGOT IT WAS STOLEN?

WELL, WE, UH...

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. HOW THE HELL

ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE?

NO PROBLEM, SEÑOR. TAKE A PLANE.

OH, A PLANE. A PLANE.

AND WHERE WOULD
WE TAKE A PLANE FROM?

HERE. SINCE YOU'VE
BEEN AWAY, SEÑOR,

THIS HAS BECOME A
VERY IMPORTANT CITY.

WE HAVE BUILT OUR OWN AIRPORT.

A PLANE COMES EVERY DAY.

WELL, AREN'T WE LUCKY?

NOW, THAT'S A HUGO.

THIS ONE'S GOOD?

FOR HUGO PORTO,
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

ALL RIGHT. WE GOT A KEEPER.

WHOO.

WHAT WAS THAT?

THAWING IT OUT.

HUH.

NO WAY.

GOOD GOD, LOOK AT THAT.

LASSIE, SIT, GIRL. STAY.

Steve: OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

GUYS. ERNIE.

WHAT?

I'M NOT VERY
COMFORTABLE PERHAPS.

WHY IS THAT?

WE'RE MESSING WITH
PEOPLE'S IMMORTALITY HERE.

IT'S MURDER.

TECHNICALLY, IT'S
NOT MURDER, STEVE,

BECAUSE THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD.

NO. THESE PEOPLE BELIEVED
IN THIS FREEZING THING.

THIS IS LIKE GRAVE ROBBING.
GRAVE ROBBING OR WORSE.

I DON'T SEE ANY GRAVES.

DO YOU SEE ANY GRAVES?

THERE'S GONNA BE 2
FRESH ONES RIGHT NOW

IF YOU TWO DON'T START
LOOKING FOR HEADS.

COME ON.

[SHOUTING
INSTRUCTIONS IN SPANISH]

ALL RIGHT.

SIR, I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT THE JEEP.

IT'S OPEN SEATING.
TAKE THESE TICKETS

AND YOU CHECK IN THE BIG STUFF.

WE'LL TAKE THE LITTLE STUFF,

AND WE'LL GO GET THE SEATS.

DO YOU THINK YOU
CAN HANDLE THAT?

YES. I REALLY APPRECIATE...

COME ON, BEAR. COME HERE.

Dick: PERDóN. PERDóNEME.

UH, PERMISSO, SEÑOR.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

ANY FRUITS, VEGETABLES?

NATIVE PLANTS?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

CONPERMISSO, SEÑOR.

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

FRUITS? VEGETABLES?

SOBRINO! SOBRINO!

I'LL GET IT.

MIRA.

¿QUE ES ESO?

Sí. ¿QUE MIRA COMO ESTá AQUí?

NO Sé.

EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU
HAND ME MY BAG, PLEASE?

UN MOMENTO, SEÑOR.

I DON'T HAVE UN MOMENTO.

I HAVE UN PLANE-O
TO CATCH-O. GOT IT?

MACHETE?

NO Sé. ¿SERá UNA PISTOLA?

EXCUSE ME. IT'S RIGHT
THERE. I CAN SEE IT.

I'LL JUST REACH IN
AND GET IT MYSELF, OK?

SEÑOR, NO.

NO, SEÑOR. AAH!

HALT!

AAH!

[ANNETTE BABBLES]

AAH!

AAH!

WHAT? IS IT DAD?

[BABBLES]

IS IT DAD?

[BABBLING]

WHAT?

THEY FOUND 2 HEADS
IN DAD'S CARRY-ON.

[BABBLING]

OH, NO.

Dick: PUT ME DOWN. PUT ME DOWN.

OH, MY GOD.

HELP ME. HELP ME.

OH, MY GOD.

DECENT. HOLD THIS ONE FOR ME.

YEAH? WAIT.

DO YOU NEED A HELEN?

NO. YOU CAN PLAY WITH HER
WHEN I LEAVE. GET OVER THERE.

THIS GUY DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?

HE'S NOT BAD EITHER.
COULD BE A STU.

YEAH? WE COULD BEAT HIM UP

A LITTLE BIT,

GIVE HIM A FEW CUTS.

RANDOM DISFIGUREMENT.

YEAH... DEFINITELY A STU.

IT'S WORTH A TRY ANYWAY.

I'LL TAKE HIM,
AND I'LL TAKE HIM.

Ernie: GREAT. I'LL WRAP THEM UP.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN...

"TAKE," HUH?

YOU KNOW...

FOR A FUTURE DOCTOR...

YOU'RE A PRETTY STUPID KID.

I MEAN... TAKE THE HEADS.

NO. NO. NO. NO WAY.

YOU DO IT.

THIS WAS YOUR CRAZY IDEA, OK?

IT'S MY IDEA THAT
YOU SHOULD DO IT.

BUT HE'S THE NEUROLOGIST.

I'M ONLY GOING INTO DERMATOLOGY.

SO DON'T SCREW UP THE SKIN.

[SAW BUZZING LOUDLY]

NOW, THERE'S A PLEASANT SOUND.

MR. ESCOBEDO,

THIS IS MY MOTHER
ANNETTE, CHARLIE,

AND FERN BENNETT, DAD'S MOM.

SHE FLEW DOWN TO
HELP US OUT WITH BAIL.

NONA, THIS IS DAD'S
MEXICAN LAWYER.

DELIGHTED.

CHARMED.

NOW CUT THE CRAP AND TELL US

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON.

CERTAINLY. AHEM.

AMIGOS, IN YOUR
COUNTRY, YOU HAVE

WHAT YOU CALL THE GOOD
NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS.

THE GOOD NEWS IS

THAT MR. BENNETT UNDERWENT
ONLY VERY MILD TORTURE.

OH, JESUS.

OH, MY GOD.

SHUT UP, YOU POODLE.
WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS?

HE CONFESSED AND WAS
SENTENCED TO DEATH.

[GASPS]

OH, MY GOD!

THAT LITTLE WEAKLING.

Laurie: OHH! MOM!

Mr. Escobedo: WAIT A MINUTE.

DON'T GET UPSET YET.

NOT GET UPSET?

LET THE MAN SPEAK, DAMN IT.

THERE ARE REMEDIES HERE.

THIS IS A CIVILIZED COUNTRY.

SURELY THERE'S
GOING TO BE A TRIAL,

SOME SORT OF HEARING.

OF COURSE. WHEN
MY PARTNER ARRIVES,

WE WILL FORMULATE OUR STRATEGY.

UNTIL THEN, TRY TO RELAX.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

ENJOY MEXICO.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

THINGS GET A LITTLE
ROUGH, HE CRACKS.

NONA, THEY TORTURED HIM.

SO WHAT?

A LITTLE CASTOR OIL
DOWN HIS GULLET?

OHH.

A LITTLE ELECTRICITY
ON HIS DILLYWHACKER?

OHH!

CAT PISS.

[STEPPING ON GLASS]

WHEW! I AM SPENT.

CHOPPING OFF HEADS JUST
TAKES IT OUT OF YOU, HUH?

SHIT. TIME TO GO.

I GOT 4 HEADS. I'M SCREWED.

BUT YOU GOT A GOOD START.

I'M SURE ONE OF
THOSE HEADS IN THERE

WILL DO FOR THE
ONE CHARLIE LOST.

I DOUBT IT,

THE WAY MY LUCK'S
RUNNING TODAY, KID.

WELL, LET'S TAKE A SECOND

AND TAKE STOCK OF
WHERE WE ARE SO FAR.

LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING, KID, OK?

JUST SO YOU KNOW.

I GOTTA KILL THE BOTH OF YOU,

SO DON'T THINK BY HELPING ME,

IT'S GONNA CHANGE
THAT, ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I KNOW. I... SURE.

I'M JUST SAYING THAT...
YOU'RE DOING ALL RIGHT.

YOU MIGHT BE BETTER
OFF THAN YOU THINK.

OK, BUT I'M JUST SAYING, TOO,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW.

OK, LET'S SEE...

I GOT A...

HUGO, A MARTY,

A SO-SO STU, AND A BAD FRANK.

RIGHT. AND THEN AT THE MORGUE,

YOU SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT LITTLE JOEY.

RIGHT. OK, ALL RIGHT,
SO I GOT LITTLE JOEY,

A HUGO, A MARTY,
AND A BAD FRANK.

NOW, WHERE'S STU?

I SAID STU. SO-SO STU.

NO. JUST A SECOND AGO,
YOU SAID LITTLE JOEY.

I KNOW I SAID LITTLE JOEY,

BUT I ALSO SAID STU.

RIGHT. BUT THEN WHERE'S FRANK?

ALL RIGHT. LOOK, START OVER.

YOU GOT A HUGO... YEAH.

A LITTLE JOEY... YEAH.

A FRANK... YEAH.

A BAD STU...

NO. FRANK. BAD FRANK.

THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.
YOU SAID BAD STU.

STU WAS JUST SO-SO.

NO, SIR. I SAID A SO-SO STU.

YOU DID NOT. YOU SAID BAD STU.

YES, I DID. EVERYONE HEARD.

I SAID A SO-SO STU.

YOU SAID BAD STU.

I KNOW THE NAMES, AND YOU DON'T!

WILL YOU TWO STOP
IT? GOD DAMN IT!

THESE ARE NOT BASEBALL
CARDS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE,

ALL RIGHT?

THESE ARE HEADS,
HUMAN BEINGS' HEADS.

WHERE WERE WE? I SAID... OK...

I GOT A HUGO, A... YES.

HO, HO, HO.

WAIT A MINUTE. JUST A SECOND.

HUH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

I DIDN'T NOTICE THIS BEFORE.

WHAT?

WITH SOME BLACK HAIR
AND A BUSTED NOSE,

THIS KID MAKES A DECENT FRANK.

WHAT?

YEAH.

I MEAN, I KNOW
YOU'RE A LITTLE YOUNG,

BUT WITH THAT STUBBLE,

A COUPLE OF MISSING TEETH...

BUT YOU HAVE A FRANK.

I GOT A BAD FRANK.
YOU MAKE A BETTER ONE.

BUT YOU DON'T EVEN
KNOW IF YOU NEED A FRANK.

I MIGHT.

PLEASE, PLEASE, NO.

LISTEN, PLEASE, NO. LISTEN,

I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.

I FLY. I FLY.

WHAT ARE YOU, A FAIRY?

NO, NO, NO, NO. HE
HAS A PILOT'S LICENSE.

YOU DON'T WANT TO FLY
A COMMERCIAL AIRLINE

TO SAN DIEGO WITH
ALL THESE HEADS.

THAT'S HOW YOU GOT IN THIS
WHOLE MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

HE CAN FLY US. IT'S SMARTER.

FLY.

ALL RIGHT, GRAB ALL THOSE HEADS.

JUST LEAVE THE TOP ONE.

Ernie: WHY?

BECAUSE THE TOP ONE

DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
ANYBODY, AND BIG SEP

WILL NEVER BUY IT. LET'S GO.

WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT...

JUST A MINUTE.

I SAWED THIS OFF,

AND YOU'RE NOT
EVEN GONNA USE IT?

STEVE, CHILL.

NO, YOU CHILL.

IT'S NOT FAIR, ALL RIGHT?

I SPENT A LOT OF
TIME ON THIS HEAD.

DON'T YOU THINK

THAT YOU COULD HAVE
AT LEAST TOLD ME THIS

BEFORE I CUT IT OFF?

OH. I SAW THAT COMING.

DON'T EVER FUCK WITH A
GUY LOOKING FOR HEADS.

GOOD ADVICE.

NOW TAKE ALL THE HEADS,

AND LET'S GO.

OK? OK.

BIG SEP, IT'S BENNY.

WHERE THE HELL ARE MY HEADS?

I JUST TALKED TO
TOMMY A WHILE AGO.

HE'LL BE THERE TOMORROW.

FIRST IT WAS 2 WEEKS AGO,

THEN 3 DAYS AGO.

I GAVE THEM TO TOMMY.
IT'S TOMMY'S DEAL NOW.

DON'T YOU TALK TO
ME ABOUT TOMMY.

I TRUST TOMMY.

THIS IS YOUR JOB.

BIG SEP, WHAT ARE WE
TALKING ABOUT HERE?

HEADS.

IT'S NOT LIKE THEY GOT ANY VALUE

ON THE OPEN MARKET.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE

TALKING GODDAMN DIAMONDS HERE.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT'S
BOTHERING ME, BEN.

A GUY PAYS 80 GRAND
AND DOESN'T SEE PROOF,

HE STARTS THINKING, "MAYBE...

JUST MAYBE HE'S BEEN
DOUBLE-CROSSED."

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

BIG SEP...

I SWEAR ON THE SOUL
OF MY DEAD MOTHER,

I OFFED THEM MYSELF.

ME AND RICO. I GIVE YOU MY WORD.

YOUR WORD AIN'T WHAT I PAID
YOU 80 FUCKIN' GRAND FOR, BEN.

I PAID YOU 80 FUCKIN' GRAND
TO SEE THEIR FUCKIN' HEADS.

NOW, YOU BRING ME THEIR HEADS.

BENNY! BENNY! BENNY!

COME IN HERE! HURRY UP!

BENNY, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

LOOK AT THIS.

[REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS]

Benny: OH, MY GOD, THAT'S...

THAT'S HUGO AND STU.

DIDN'T I TELL YOU
THEY'D SHOW UP, BENNY?

DIDN'T I TELL YOU?

THIS IS NOT GOOD.

NOT GOOD? WHAT THE HELL'S
BIG SEP GONNA SAY, BENNY?!

SHUT UP!

Dick: HERE ON VACATION.
I JUST WANTED TO...

P.A.: ERNIE LIPSCOMB,

PLEASE PICK UP THE
COURTESY PHONE.

ERNIE LIPSCOMB,

PLEASE PICK UP THE
COURTESY PHONE.

OW.

YES, JANICE. MAKE
SURE YOU CHECK...

THIS IS ERNIE LIPSCOMB.

ERNIE, IT'S CHARLIE.
LET ME TALK TO HIM.

SURE. IT'S FOR YOU.

YEAH?

HI. IT'S CHARLIE. I...

WHAT? HOW COULD
YOU LOSE 2 MORE HEADS?

Charlie: WELL, THE
POLICE GOT THEM.

WELL, HOW COULD
THE POLICE GET THEM?

UM...

THE ONE I LOST
EARLIER, I GOT IT BACK...

[GASPS] [GASPS]

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

UH, HE'S TALKING ABOUT POTHEADS.

WE'RE DEPROGRAMMERS

WITH MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS.

HE, UH, HATES TO LOSE A CLIENT.

LISTEN TO ME,

YOU LITTLE INCOMPETENT
PIECE OF SHIT, YOU.

WHERE ARE YOU EXACTLY?

THE LA PURISIMA HOTEL.

DON'T MOVE. DON'T LEAVE
YOUR ROOM FOR ANYTHING.

I'M COMING DOWN THERE.

IF THERE'S ANY
MORE HEADS MISSING

BY THE TIME I GET THERE,
I'M GONNA REPLACE THEM

WITH YOUR FAMILY
AND YOUR FRIENDS.

YOU HEAR ME? HUH?

HE REALLY CARES,

AND THAT'S WHAT
MAKES HIM THE BEST.

WHAT?

I'M THINKING THAT ONCE
HE GETS THESE HEADS

AWAY FROM US,
YOUR DAD'S A GONER.

WE GOTTA MOVE.

I SAW A PLACE JUST
OUTSIDE OF HERE.

WE GOTTA CHECK IN TO THE HOTEL.

COME ON. GET UP.

UM, I'LL TAKE THESE...

[GASPS]

I HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO PUT THEM.

I'LL TAKE THESE TO
THE AMERICAN BORDER.

I'LL GIVE THEM TO THE POLICE.

I'LL RENT A CAR.
I'LL DRIVE ALL NIGHT.

WHAT AM I GONNA TELL MY MOTHER?

TELL HER ANYTHING.
TELL HER WE HAD A FIGHT.

TELL HER I CALLED YOU FAT.

IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT SHE THINKS.

THE IMPORTANT THING
IS TO SAVE YOUR DAD.

FAT?

LOOK, LAURIE...

MAYBE YOUR DAD
WAS RIGHT ABOUT ME.

MAYBE I'M A TOTAL NIMROD

WHO CAN'T FOLLOW
THROUGH ON ANYTHING.

BUT I GOT HIM INTO THIS.

I PROMISE YOU...

I'M GONNA GET HIM OUT.

[DOOR OPENS]

GET YOUR HANDS
OFF HER, YOU MANIAC.

YOU MAY WANT ME TO
THINK THAT I'M CRAZY,

BUT I'M NOT CRAZY,
AND I'M NOT STUPID.

YOU HAD THOSE HEADS
HID IN YOUR ROOM,

AND THEN YOU PINNED
THEM ON MY DICK!

MOM, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

WHAT AM I SAYING?

I'M SAYING I'M CALLING
THE POLICE ON HIM.

I'M GONNA DO IT RIGHT NOW.

NO! NO!

MOM, CALLING THE POLICE
IS A BAD IDEA. NO. NO.

LAURIE, I LOVE YOU.

TAKE YOUR HAND OFF THE PHONE.

YOU BACK OFF. I KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING.

YOU'RE NOT THINKING CLEARLY.

I'M THINKING PERFECTLY!

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING.

I TOLD YOU TO BACK OFF!

OPERATOR? YES. NO, I
WASN'T YELLING AT YOU.

COULD YOU GET ME
THE POLICE, PLEASE?

[OPERATOR SPEAKING SPANISH]

OH, YES. OPERATOR,

I NEED YOU TO GET
THE POLICE FOR ME.

CAN YOU... ¿POLICíA?

Sí. Sí. Sí. Sí.

I'M TRYING TO REACH THE POLICE.

THE POLICíA?

WHEE. GRACIAS. YES. Sí.

Sí. Sí.

Operator: WILL YOU HOLD, PLEASE?

YES, OF COURSE I'LL
HOLD. I'M HAPPY TO HOLD.

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, KEEP IT DOWN.

YES. OH, HELLO,
POLICE. YES, I HAVE...

Woman on TV: AAH!

OHH.

GO. CHARLIE, HURRY.

GO.

JUST GO.

[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYS]

I NEED TO RENT A CAR.

SURE. THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

WE GOT CHEVYS...

JEEPS...

CHEVYS...

HEY.

THAT LOOKS LIKE OUR JEEP.

WELL, UH...

THERE'S A LOT OF
JEEPS, YOU KNOW, SEÑOR?

WITH THIS MAGAZINE IN
THEM? I DON'T THINK SO.

THIS JEEP WAS STOLEN FROM US.

I DON'T KNOW, SEÑOR.

LOT OF PEOPLE READ MAGAZINES.

ON GRAND MAL SEIZURES?
YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!

YOU REALLY LIKE
THAT MAGAZINE, HUH?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO,

YOU RENT THIS JEEP...

I'M GONNA THROW IN
THAT MAGAZINE FOR NADA.

UNBELIEVABLE.

UHH.

UHH.

EXCUSE ME. WHERE
CAN WE RENT A CAR?

ALL RIGHT, MAKE SURE IT HAS A.C.

HOLD ON, CHAMP.

GRACIAS, SEÑOR.

[SINGING IN SPANISH]

Annette: ARE YOU JUST
TELLING ME I JUST PASSED OUT?

NO, NO. DRINK UP.

YOU'RE A LITTLE DEHYDRATED.

YOU'RE SUCH A MOTHER.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA
GET US PACKED.

MY BUTT'S STAYING RIGHT HERE.

WHY? I HEAR THE
TROPICANA'S WONDERFUL.

IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY, HONEY.

GIVE ME THE 2 Cs:

A COT AND A CRAPPER, I'M SET.

BUT... [KNOCK ON DOOR]

Ernie: LAURIE,
CHARLIE, IT'S ERNIE.

JESUS.

WHO THE HELL'S ERNIE?

NOBODY, GRANDMA.

WELL, HE SURE AS HELL
SEEMS TO KNOW YOU.

NO, GRANDMA.

IS THIS SOME GUY

YOU'RE BOFFING ON THE SIDE?

GRANDMA!

WHAT THE HELL

ARE YOU DOING, HONEY?

WHERE'S CHARLIE?

WHO ARE YOU?

I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

WHERE THE FUCK IS CHARLIE?

AND I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

WELL, NOW THAT WE'RE IN
THIS FRIGGIN' LA PURISIMA,

WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

WE FIND A COP STATION,
AND WE GET OUR HEADS.

ALL RIGHT.

BENNY, LOOK, LOOK.

IT'S HIM. IT'S HIM. IT'S TOMMY.

COME ON. COME ON. ALL
OF YOU, GET IN THERE.

WHAT THE HELL DO
YOU THINK HE'S DOING?

YOU THINK HE GOT THE
HEADS BACK ALREADY OR WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT WHY
DON'T WE FOLLOW HIM?

COME ON.

Rico: WHERE THE
HELL'S HE GOING, HUH?

KEEP FOLLOWING HIM.

I TOLD CHARLIE TO STAY PUT.

I TOLD THAT LITTLE SON
OF A BITCH TO STAY PUT.

SO WHO ARE YOU? GOD?

WHY THE HELL SHOULD
HE LISTEN TO YOU?

I AM SO GROGGY. OH! DO YOU MIND

IF I LIE DOWN IN THE BACK?

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT
WHAT YOU DO, LADY.

JUST KEEP QUIET.

WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.

OW! FERN, STOP IT! UHH!

OHH.

OHH.

OH, MY GOD!

AAH!

AAH! ANOTHER HEAD!

OH, MY GOD!

HELP! HELP!

LADY, LADY, SHUT UP!

I CAN'T STAND IT!

I'M LOSING MY MIND!

EVERYWHERE I LOOK,
THERE ARE HEADS!

AAH!

SHUT UP, LADY! JESUS CHRIST!

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY PERSON
ON THE PLANET WITH PROBLEMS, OK?

SHUT IT! JEEZ, WHAT A HEAD CASE!

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE?

KILLER HUMOR?

SO HORRIBLE. UHH!

LOOKED LIKE THIS GUY I
DATED IN HIGH SCHOOL,

THIS HUGO... HUGO PORTO. EWW.

OHH!

HEY, I THINK WE
BETTER PULL OVER,

'CAUSE WE NEED SOME GAS SOON.

KEEP FUCKIN' DRIVING.

OK.

DIDN'T I TELL YOU

TO WATCH YOUR FUCKIN' LANGUAGE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU GOON.

DON'T FUCK WITH MEEEEE...

GRANDMA! AAH!

Fern: EEEEEEEE...

OH!

MY MONEY SAYS HE
AIN'T GOT THE HEADS.

MINE, TOO.

WHOA, MAN. HOW
COULD YOU DO THAT?

HOW COULD I WHAT?

THROW HER OFF THE CLIFF.

A MAN CAN ONLY
TAKE SO MUCH, KID.

[TAKING BREATHS]

OH, MY GOD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

I THOUGHT THE OLD
BATTLE-AX WOULD NEVER DIE.

MOM.

[STEVE LAUGHING]

HE...

HA HA HA HA HA!

SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW?

KEEP FOLLOWING THEM. BUT I
DON'T LIKE THE SMELL OF THIS.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

AH HA HA HA!

WELL, WELL, WELL,

IF IT ISN'T OUR OLD AMIGO.

NO, NOT AGAIN.

ISN'T ONCE ENOUGH?

CAN'T YOU GIVE A GUY A BREAK?

ONE HUMAN BEING
TO ANOTHER. COME ON.

THAT'S VERY MOVING, GRINGO,

BUT THE REAL QUESTION
IS ARE WE GOING

TO CUT OFF YOUR CAJONES
OR LEAVE THEM ON?

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. YOU
DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

COME ON, GUYS. COME ON.

CAN'T... CAN'T...
CAN'T WE FLIP FOR IT?

WHAT?

A COIN, YOU KNOW? FLIP A COIN.

I WIN, YOU LET ME GO.

YOU WIN...

YOU MANGLE ME.

CRAZY MAN, GRINGO.

CALL IT.

HEADS.

WHOA. YOU SURE?

YOU DON'T EVEN WANT
TO THINK ABOUT IT?

I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE SURE

OF ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.

IVAMONOS!

[COUGHING]

[YELLING IN SPANISH]

JUAN!

DON'T TAKE THE KEYS!

OH, GOD! HA HA HA! OH!

[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

OH.

THIS HAS NOT BEEN A
VERY GOOD VACATION.

[SQUEAK]

HELLO?

HELLO?

WHO'S THERE?

HEY!

HEY!

STOP!

IALTO!

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN... ♪

[RADIO CLICKS OFF]

Ernie: NOT YOUR KIND OF MUSIC?

Tommy: I HATE THAT SHIT.

Steve: ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

HUH?

I SAID... I SAID, "ARE
YOU TALKING TO ME?"

HUH?

HA HA HA HA.

I SAID, "ARE YOU
TALKING TO ME?" HUH?

HA HA HA HA.

I DON'T KNOW WHO
YOU'RE TALKING TO.

I'M THE... ONLY ONE HERE.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!

SHUT UP!

SHUT IT!

SCREWBALL.

WHAT'S THAT?

Ernie: WHAT'S WHAT?

STOP. STOP.

Laurie: OH, NO.

WHOA. HOLD ON, NOW.

HOLD ON. HOLD ON.
JUST... OK, OK, OK. OK.

STOP!

OK. DON'T SHOOT.

I THOUGHT I TOLD
YOU TO STAY PUT.

WHERE'S MY HEADS?
WHERE'S MY HEADS?

THEY'RE IN THE JEEP.
THEY'RE IN THE COOLERS.

GOOD. COME ON.

BUT I LOST ANOTHER ONE.

WHAT?

Tommy: HERE, COYOTE.

[WHISTLING]

WHAT'S HE DOING?

WELL, THE KID AIN'T
DEAD. THAT'S FOR SURE.

HERE, COYOTE.

[WHISTLING]

COME.

SHIT.

WHAT?

SHUT UP. WHAT IS IT?

OH, SHIT. I'M DEAD.

WELL, WHOEVER THEY ARE,

IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
THEY'RE COMING AFTER US.

NOT YET. JUST THE FACT

THAT THEY'RE HERE
MEANS I'M DEAD, THOUGH.

WHEN? AS SOON AS I
GIVE YOU THE HEADS?

OR AS SOON AS I GET THEM
ACROSS TO THE STATES.

KNOWING THEM, THEY'RE GONNA
LET ME TAKE THAT RISK, TOO.

WHO ARE THE HEADS, ANYWAY?

WHAT?

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE?

YOU SPEND YOUR VACATION
WITH A BUNCH OF HEADS,

YOU KIND OF WANT
TO KNOW, YOU KNOW?

YOU THINK ABOUT THEIR
HOPES AND THEIR DREAMS,

THEIR LIVES CUT SHORT.

HOPES, DREAMS.

THOSE BUMS.

YOU HAVE TO FEEL SOMETHING.

YOU DON'T JUST KILL 8 PEOPLE

AND NOT FEEL ANYTHING.

LOOK, IT DON'T REALLY MATTER,

BUT LET'S JUST SET THE
RECORD STRAIGHT, OK?

FIRST OF ALL, I DIDN'T
WHACK 'EM. THOSE GUYS DID.

SECOND, MR. PHI BETA CRAPHEAD,

IF I HADN'T FUCKED UP,
I'D BE RETIRING AFTER THIS.

HEY, HEY, HEY. LOOK, LOOK.

WHAT THE HELL'S HE DOING?

IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S
CHASING AFTER THAT DOG.

HEY, WHAT IF WE CAN HELP
EACH OTHER OUT HERE?

IMPOSSIBLE.

WHY?

BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO STUPID,

AND, BESIDES, I'M NOT
GONNA TAKE THE CHANCE

OF GOING ACROSS THAT BORDER.

WELL, IF YOU KNOW IT
ALL, THEN HOW COME

YOU'RE IN THIS
MESS TO BEGIN WITH?

BECAUSE OF BAD
LUCK. IT'S NOT MY FAULT

THAT THE BAG WAS TOO
BIG TO GO IN CARRY-ON.

THERE WAS A GIFT SHOP

RIGHT NEXT TO THE GATE.

DID YOU EVER THINK
OF TAKING 2 BAGS?

OH, SHIT.

SO I'LL REPEAT THE QUESTION.

WHAT IF THERE WERE A WAY

WE COULD HELP EACH
OTHER OUT HERE?

WHAT WAY?

I'M NOT INTO MASS MURDER
IF I'M NOT GETTING PAID FOR IT,

BUT I'M WARNING YOU,

ANYBODY GETS IN MY WAY IS DEAD.

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR
GETTING RID OF FERN.

MOM!

THE GOING RATE IF 5 THOU,
BUT YOU CAN OWE ME, LADY.

WHERE THE HELL'S HE GOING?

I DON'T KNOW. DO I LOOK
LIKE A MIND READER?

COME ON! LET'S GO!

SO NOW WHAT DO WE DO?
DRIVE FOR THE BORDER?

HELL, NO. WE GOTTA GET THOSE
HEADS BACK AND SAVE YOUR DAD.

HEY!

COME BACK HERE!

I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!

Rico: COME ON, BENNY.
LET'S TAKE HIM NOW.

Benny: I EXPECT THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS.

OH, LET'S SEE HOW
LUCKY WE GOT HERE.

WELL, WE GOT MARTY...

WE GOT BENITO...

HA HA HA.

LITTLE JOEY.

WHAT IS HE DOING?

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S
LIKE HE'S TEASING US.

WAIT A MINUTE. IT'S
CAUGHT ON MY NECK.

OUCH. JAMAL, YOU
WANNA BITE, HUH?

JAMAL, JAMAL.

LET'S SEE. WHAT DO I NEED?

I NEED A STU...

FRANK, AND A HUGO.

THERE'S HUGO.

WHO IS IT?

I CAN'T TELL. IT LOOKS
LIKE STU OR HUGO.

FRANKIE.

YOU SUCK.

OH!

BUT YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO DO, BUDDY.

Rico: HOW MANY'S HE GOT NOW?

HE'S GOT 1...

7, 8. HE'S GOT ALL 8.

I WANT TO MAKE HIM
THE NINTH HEAD, BENNY.

YOU...

YOU, I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED.

WHAT A BUNCH OF DOUCHE BAGS.

THE LOST DREAMS.

WHAT A CROCK. HA.

HEY, THIS COYOTE

WON'T BE DOING ANY
MORE RUNNING AWAY.

AH.

I GOT HIM TRAINED.

AWOOO.

[COYOTE HOWLS]

[COYOTES HOWLING AND BARKING]

OH.

OH! THAT IS DISGUSTING.

I CAN'T LEAVE IT OUTSIDE
FOR THE COYOTES.

ALL RIGHT...

EVERYBODY BE STILL.
THIS IS MY LAST MATCH.

[COUGH]

Ernie: GOOD WORK,
STEVE, YOU ASS.

THAT'S IT.

JUST GONNA HAVE
TO WAIT TILL DAWN.

[STEVE CHUCKLING]

STEVE, SHUT UP.

HEADS UP!

STOP AHEAD.

ANYBODY NEED TO USE THE HEAD?

STEVE, SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP.

OH, DON'T LET IT
GO TO YOUR HEAD.

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!

YOU'RE WAY AHEAD OF ME.

STEVE!

HEY, DON'T BITE MY
HEAD OFF, ALL RIGHT?

HA!

THAT'S IT. I'M SLEEPING
OUTSIDE, GUYS.

ME, TOO.

HEY, STEVE. GET A GRIP.

GO TO SLEEP.

OR WHAT, HUH?!

YOU'LL HAVE MY HEAD?

ENOUGH.

[SNORING]

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

HEY.

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ MR. HIT MAN ♪

♪ I'M SO ALONE ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ AIN'T GOT NOBODY ♪

♪ TO CALL MY OWN ♪

♪ AIN'T GOT NO LEGS ♪

♪ FOR WALKIN' ALL OVER ♪

♪ CAN'T HOLD MY LIQUOR ♪

♪ SO I GOTTA STAY SOBER ♪

♪ MR. HIT MAN ♪

♪ GIMME A BREAK ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ TELL MR. BIG SEP ♪

♪ THAT I AIN'T NO SNAKE ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ PLEASE TURN ON
YOUR MAGIC BEAM ♪

♪ MR. HIT MAN,
BRING ME A DREAM ♪

♪ BUM BUM BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

HEY.

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

JESUS.

Rico: BENNY, BENNY,
WAKE UP. WAKE UP.

HE'S UP. HE'S UP. RELAX.

DAMN IT.

THIS ALWAYS WORKS ON A CAMERO.

YOU CAN DO IT.

[ENGINE STARTS]

ALL RIGHT!

WHOO-HOO!

CAN I GET SOME BREAKFAST HERE?

Sí, SEÑOR.

PLEASE SIT ANYWHERE YOU'D LIKE.

BENNY, WHAT THE HELL'S HE DOING?

I DON'T KNOW. LET'S
GO FIND OUT, SHALL WE?

COFFEE, SEÑOR?

UH, YEAH.

JUICE?

SURE.

WOW. LOOK AT THIS SURPRISE.

BENNY, RICO.

YOU BOYS DECIDE
TO TAKE A VACATION?

YEAH, TOMMY.

YOU KNOW, WE NEVER SEEN MEXICO.

WE KIND OF FIGURED
THIS'D BE A GOOD TIME

TO CHECK IT OUT, YOU KNOW?

GOOD, GOOD. IT'S NICE DOWN HERE.

LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE
WAITING FOR ME

TO CROSS OVER TO THE STATES,

BUT I GOTTA TELL YOU NOW,

WHEN I DO,

YOU GET THAT BAG...

OVER MY DEAD BODY.

FUNNY. WE WAS THINKING
THAT EXACT SAME THING,

HUH, RICO?

YEAH.

THAT'S HIS VAN.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

HEY! THE GUY WITH THE VAN,

WHERE IS HE?

HE'S IN THE HOTEL, SEÑOR.

YOU'RE NOT GOING IN
THERE AFTER HIM, ARE YOU?

WE NEED THOSE HEADS.

YES, I'M GOING IN THERE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
ACTUALLY DOING THIS.

GIMME YOUR GUNS.

CHARLIE, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

LOOKS LIKE MINE.

IT WAS YOURS.

YOU DROPPED IT IN THE DESERT.

NOW IT'S MINE.

NOW BOTH OF YOU PUT
YOUR GUNS ON THE TABLE,

OR I'M GONNA BLOW
YOUR HEADS OFF.

RIGHT NOW!

LAURIE, GET THE GUNS.

ERNIE, GET THE DUFFEL BAG.

WAIT A MINUTE. EASY, KID.

YOU DON'T WANT TO
MESS WITH THESE GUYS.

HE'S RIGHT, CHARLIE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT
THOSE HEADS FOR ANYWAY?

HE'S GONNA TAKE
THEM TO THE BORDER

AND TURN THEM
IN, RIGHT, CHARLIE?

HE'LL BE A HERO
WITH HER OLD MAN.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

FORGET ABOUT IT.

YOU DO THAT,

AND BIG SEP KILLS US ALL.

FUCK BIG SEP.

MISS BENNETT,
SEÑOR PRITCH... ETT.

PACO.

UH... WE'RE FBI.

HE'S THE UNA-BELLMAN.

AAH!

SEÑORA BENNETT.

BACK OFF.

[GASPS]

COME ON!

HE'S GETTING AWAY.

BIG SEP'S GONNA KILL US, BENNY.

COME ON! LET'S GO!

COME ON, LAURIE. DRIVE FASTER.

WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN?

LAURIE, WHY DO YOU
HAVE A GUN? WHAT? WHAT?

WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

Steve: IT'S ABOUT HEADS.

Ernie: HEY, STEVE,
LEAVE HIM ALONE.

NO COMPRENDO HEADS.

DID HE SAY HEADS?

LOOK, LOOK, LOOK,
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.

AAH! AAH!

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T RECYCLABLE.

PACO, IT'S OK.
IT'S OK, PACO. Sí.

CHARLIE, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

CHARLIE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ERNIE, GIVE ME THE DUFFEL BAG.

EVERYBODY STAY IN THE CAR.

STEVE, STAY IN THE CAR!

MOVE, PLEASE. MOVE!

I NEED TO GET THROUGH.

Annette: LAURIE!

HEY, DOES THIS MEAN
ANYTHING TO ANYBODY?

[SCREAMING]

I HAVE SOMETHING TO DECLARE.

HEY, HEY, HEY. IT'S A MISTAKE.

HE DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING.

ARREST THEM!

ARREST THEM!

THAT'S HIS BAG. ARREST THEM.

ALL RIGHT! EVERYBODY FREEZE.

DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID,

AND NOTHING STUPID WILL HAPPEN.

GET TO THE PLANE.

OH, SHIT.

[SCREAMING]

NO NEED TO BE EXCITED.

CHARLIE!

WE'RE GONNA GET IN THE PLANE

AND FLY AWAY. BYE-BYE.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

ARREST THEM!

DROP YOUR GUNS, OR
I'M GONNA SHOOT HIM.

MOVE IN, DAMN IT! MOVE IN!

NO!

Laurie: CHARLIE, NO! [CLICKS]

ARREST THEM!

CHECK THEIR BAG. OPEN THE BAG.

THERE-THERE-THERE-THERE'S...

THERE'S A HUMAN HEAD IN THE BAG.

HA HA HA!

THE MAN YOU ARRESTED
YESTERDAY IS IN JAIL

FOR THE MURDERS
THESE GUYS COMMITTED.

HER FATHER'S INNOCENT.

THESE ARE THE GUYS THAT DID IT.

RIGHT THERE.

OHH.

WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S NOT OURS.

YOU ARRESTED US FOR
THE WRONG HEAD HERE.

RICO!

ALL OUR HEADS HAD HAIR.

SHUT UP.

WHERE ARE OUR HEADS, ASSHOLE?

SHUT UP, RICO!

Security officer: iAL SUELO!

YOU KNEW IT? YOU...
YOU PLANNED IT?

YOU GOT A FUTURE, KID.

THANKS.

SLIGHT OF BAG BY
CHARLIE PRITCHETT.

SHOW ME THE LAW ABOUT BRINGING
A HEAD OUT OF THE COUNTRY!

Benny: TURN IT OFF, RICO!

IT AIN'T A FRUIT! IT AIN'T
A VEGETABLE! IT AIN'T...

Security guard: iALTO! iALTO!

OHH! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!

IT'S MINE!

I SPENT A LOT OF
TIME ON THIS HEAD!

IT'S MY BEST FRIEND!

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN ♪

♪ BRING ME A DREAM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ MAKE HIM THE CUTEST ♪

♪ THAT I'VE EVER SEEN ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ GIVE HIM 2 LIPS ♪

♪ LIKE ROSES AND CLOVER ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ THEN TELL HIM THAT HIS
LONESOME NIGHTS ARE OVER ♪

♪ SANDMAN ♪

♪ I'M SO ALONE ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ DON'T HAVE NOBODY ♪

♪ TO CALL MY OWN ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ PLEASE TURN ON
YOUR MAGIC BEAM ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN,
BRING ME A DREAM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN ♪

♪ BRING ME A DREAM ♪

♪ MAKE HIM THE CUTEST ♪

♪ THAT I'VE EVER SEEN ♪

♪ GIVE HIM THE WORD
THAT I'M NOT A ROVER ♪

♪ AND TELL HIM THAT HIS
LONESOME NIGHTS ARE OVER ♪

♪ SANDMAN ♪

♪ I'M SO ALONE ♪

♪ DON'T HAVE NOBODY
TO CALL MY OWN ♪

♪ PLEASE TURN ON
YOUR MAGIC BEAM ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN,
BRING ME A DREAM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN ♪

Man: ♪ YES? ♪

♪ BRING US A DREAM ♪

♪ GIVE HIM A PAIR OF EYES ♪

♪ WITH A COME-HITHER GLEAM ♪

♪ GIVE HIM A LONELY
HEART LIKE PAGLIACCI ♪

♪ AND LOTS OF WAVY
HAIR LIKE LIBERACE ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN, SOMEONE TO HOLD ♪

♪ SOMEONE TO HOLD ♪

♪ WOULD BE SO PEACHY ♪

♪ BEFORE WE'RE TOO OLD ♪

♪ SO PLEASE TURN
ON YOUR MAGIC BEAM ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN, BRING US ♪

♪ PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE ♪

♪ MR. SANDMAN ♪

♪ BRING US A DREAM ♪

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