7 Dwarves: The Forest Is Not Enough (2006) - full transcript

The land of fairy tales.

Much has improved

since the Evil Queen's reign
was forever shattered.

For high up in the castle
Snow White now lives with her child.

Only the murky underwood
has not changed.

It remains what it has always been:

A place of danger.

A shelter for those creatures
that embody evil.

Whoever meets them

is forever silent.

And only legends tell their tale.



Once upon a time
there were two poor woodcutters.

They had so little to live on

that they had to send
their own children away.

And as night fell,

they came upon a fork in the road.

And Hansel and Gretel
went deeper and deeper

into the dark underwood.

It was so very dark
and oh so bitter cold...

TO THE GINGERBREAD HOUSE

... made with the finest gingerbread.

"Who might the master

of this house be?", they said.

Ah! What is that?

A dwarf!



Probably one of the 7 dwarves.
We can ask the way.

Dear dwarf, could you...
- Ha!

Ah!

I smell human flesh!

Hello! What's your name?

Who wants to know?
- Me.

And what's your name?
- Who wants to know?

Me.
- And what's your name?

Wait! My name is Bubi.

And I have six friends.
Do you want to be my friend?

The others are called Tshakko, Speedy,

Sunny, Cloudy, Cookie and Ralfie.

We're called the...

7 DWARVES

THE WOOD IS NOT ENOUGH

Sleep, little child, close by me.

O where might your father be?

My little prince,

everything here reminds me
of your father.

Even you.

It's been a year

since your father said to me,

See ya, Hon.
I'm gonna get some smokes.

But the shop
is right around the corner.

What's keeping him?

Anyone got a light?

You must never start smoking.
You promise?

Yeah, sure, no prob.

I am the Evil One, known to all.

With the name none dares to call.

Today I prance and tomorrow I'll sing,

and then the Queen's own child
I will bring!

For little deems
the royal dame

that Rumpelstiltskin is my name!

Rum-pel-stilts-kin.

Odd name!

What are you doing?
- I'm checking the fat content.

The... why?
- The fat content is important.

For what?
- For the cooking time.

When you're cooking a child...
- Cooking?

You're not going to cook my child!
- Why not?

You think it'd be better
to fry it?

My child?

My child!
- Hold on, he's still my child.

Yes, but not much longer.

We have a pact.
You promised me the child.

Me?
- Not you. Him.

Spliss? You...

That was a long time ago.

Ancient history. Over and done with.

Just when was it?

Yesterday. It was yesterday.

- That's what I'm saying. Absurd!
- Spliss. You sold my child?

What choice did I have?

You insisted I pick up the portrait.

And on the way back...

I suddenly saw this odd creature.

Help.
- Ah!

Heavens! You poor thing.

You're completely disfigured.
I mean, that's...

It's a trap. Shameful!

In the middle of the road.
I mean, kids walk here!

Must have been a madman.
Who'd do something like that?

Me.

You?

Then why step into your own trap?
- For shits and giggles.

I see.

Okay, keep on giggling.

Come on, take me down.

Take you down?

Very well.

And...

what do I get out of it?
- Here hangs a creature,

helpless and pitiful.
Do you really want

to take advantage of this situation?
- Yes.

Fine.

Set me free, and I'll grant you a wish.
- Anything?

Anything. Gold, gems,

girls... the whole shebang!

Even...

a full head of hair?
- Eh? A full head of hair?

Sure. A head of hair shall be yours.

Come on.

Ah!

Wait. The color is a bit off...

Do you have that in blond?

Golden blond? Can you do that?

What's in it for me?

What do you want?

That.

That's a bit tricky.
It's supposed to be a birthday present.

I just picked it up from framing.

Freshly gilded.

The frame was sinfully expensive.
- Not the painting!

The child.
- The child?

Sure, you can have the child.
It's the Queen's son.

Probably well fed, then, yes?

That's putting it nicely.
He's got short, stumpy legs,

roly-poly hips
and two wobbly cheeks.

Baby fat.
- I want my baby fat.

When can I have it?
- Right away, if you want.

But first I should break the news
gently to his mother.

His first birthday is in three days.

And then...
- He is mine.

Deal.
- And we're good on the hairdo?

Sure.
- Deal.

So that's what happened.

You have no idea how much I suffered

from my high forehead.

The things I tried!

Naturally, I had to seize
this opportunity by the roots.

To be young again! And blond!

You do like it, don't you?
- Well...

I would have layered the sides more,
and the color...

The color makes you a bit pale,
don't you think?

What do you think, Mr...
- What do you think, Mr...

My name! You'd like to know that, yes?
- Whatever.

My name is a secret.
- What's in a name?

I'm the Evil One, known to all...
- So I'll ask someone.

...With the name none dares to call!
- I'll find out your stupid name!

No, you won't.
- Yes, I will.

Won't.
- Will.

Never. No!
- And if?

Do I get to keep my child?

Keep your child?

Of course.
- Deal.

If we discover your name the day
after tomorrow, I keep my child.

But if you don't find it

before this candle

burns out...

Before this pendulum...

stops swinging...

Anyone have a drop of oil?

Fine.

Before this sand

has run out...

Then I'll take the Queen's child.

Very well.

Sign here, please.
- Sure.

Ha! What a cheap trick.

Can't blame a guy for trying, Mr...

Yes...

And remember:

Only two more days!

Oh no! How terrible.

He's serious. Deadly serious.

What's that beast going to do next?

Maybe realize
that he's in the broom closet.

Only two days...

But your confidence gives me hope.

I was faking.
- What?

You said it'd be easy to find the name!

I was bluffing.

No one knows the name.
- No?

No one, really?
- No, Majesty.

No one in the whole kingdom

knows the Evil One's name.

Rumpelstiltskin.

What an odd name!

And the way the little guy sang
and jumped through the fire,

it was so funny!

Not funny?

Would you rather play board games?

Hey...

Check.

Nibble, nibble, little mouse,

who is chewing on my house?

It's me.
- Who's me?

Maybe heaven's own child,
the tempest wild?

It's me, the Evil One known to all.
You know...

I'm in your therapy group, remember?

Ah, a patient. I'll help you.

Come on in.

DO NOT DISTURB

Listen:
Tomorrow I'll get the Queen's child.

Ah! Queen!
Don't say 'queen'! I was queen once.

I know. That's what your drops are for.

Now listen, the reason I'm here...

Should anyone show up here
and ask for my name,

you don't know anything. Got it?

What don't I know?
- My name.

I can't remember it anyway.
There are three things I always forget:

Names, faces,

and... I forgot the third.
What was your name again?

Psst!

Rumpelstiltskin.

Rumpel...
- Psst!

If that name
falls into the wrong ears...

No one can remember that.
At least I can't.

Hemp...
- No!

Rumpel, Rumpelstiltskin.

Ah, Pumpernickel! Got it.
- No.

Rumpel-stiltskin.

Rum, like schnapps.
- Schnapps.

'Pel' like pelt - Pelt.
- 'Stilt' like stilts. - Stilts...

And 'kin' an in...
'Kin'... as in...

'Kin' as in blood relatives.
For example,

Snow White's not your kin.
- Ah!

You are Snow White?

How I hate you!
- I am Rumpelstiltskin.

Fine...

I'll just
write the name down for you.

RUM-

PEL-

STILTS-

KIN!

What a strange name!
- So...

Just to be on the safe side.

This envelope must never fall
into the wrong hands. Got it?

Yes.

What's in it?

My name.
- Right.

Pum-pel...

To hell with it! How can anyone...

Right...

What we need now
is a safe hiding place.

How about the fireplace?

Fireplace?
- Your fireplace!

Oh, right, that.

What if I want to make a fire?

Right. Then on the mantelpiece.

In any case...

remember where it's hidden!
- Why? What is it?

Cookie?

Speedy?

Tshakko?

Sunny?

Cloudy?

Ralfie?

Bubi, why didn't you
say something?

You didn't call me!

Where are the others?
- You're always thinking of them.

Just like me.
- Bubi, I need you.

All seven of you.
- But the others are gone.

What? Since when?
- Since the last time you were here.

That was on my 18th birthday.
That was years ago!

No, that was the day
I had breakfast with the others

and Cookie said:

Today is fruit day.
Fresh fruit is very important.

A single apple has more vitamin A

than a hundred wieners.

Wait a minute, Cookie.

Don't you think he looks different?

Don't say anything.
Cookie, did you lose weight?

He looks fatter than ever to me.

I never looked at him that closely.

Maybe he's wearing his cap differently?

Maybe it's...
- I don't know.

I think he looks more intelligent.

That's because there was
no more room in the other direction.

Maybe it's...
- The glasses!

Ah!

It's the glasses!

Since I recently read 'fly agaric'
in my cookbook

instead of 'fried garlic',

I decided that from now on

I'd always wear glasses.

They suit you.

Can I have some more, Cookie?
Since when do you wear glasses?

Oh!

And then?

And then I finished breakfast.

What does that have to do with me?
- Nothing.

Bubi, I'm in a hurry. What happened?

You know! You were here that day.

Cookie was wearing his glasses
and you said that you're available

and doing the dating thing again...
- I said WHAT?

That your husband left you all alone.

And the others said:

Oh, really?
- But it doesn't have to stay that way.

It's not good for a young woman
like me to be alone. - Oh, really?

No. I could easily imagine...

If the opportunity arises,
and the right man comes by...

Maybe even a dwarf?
- Oh, Speedy!

Well, why not?

Of course,
he'd have to prove himself first.

Beyond the bridge.
A man could make his fortune there.

If he knows what he's doing.

Oh, really?

Am I getting through here?

Then I won't disturb you any longer.
Bon appetit!

Would you maybe like?
- No, thank you. I have to go.

Who knows,
maybe I'll bump into Mr. Right...

Once upon

a very long time ago...

I said that?
- No, you sang it.

"Once upon a time..."
- Yes, I know. Then what?

"Happiness will once more be mine!"
- Bubi, what happened then?

Who does she think she is?
- Yes!

What does she take us for?
- Right!

She seems to think
we have nothing better to do

than to make our fortune over there.

Us, separate? Never!
- No!

Let me just say: Ha!
- Ha!

Women!
- Women!

As if we had nothing better to do
with our lives

than to sit around the cozy castle...

alone...

with Snow White.

Gone. All gone.
- All gone?

Why didn't you say so, Bubi?
- But I did!

What are you saying?
This whole story is...

If a person is alone for a long time,
like you,

he can start imagining things...
- But I'm not alone.

Yesterday, I met three ducks
and a funny little man

hopping around a fire.
He had a strange name...

Yes, Bubi, whatever.
Now listen carefully:

Do you know a small creature...
- Sunny!

No, quite the opposite.
- Cloudy? - No.

Wait, I'll draw him for you.

And he has a mole right here.

Ah. I know him.

I drew something as well.
I drew you. Here.

This is you.

You moved, so it's a bit blurry.

Bubi, can't you be serious for once?

Okay. Like this?

How long do I have to be serious?
- Bubi, you have to find the others.

It's a matter of life and death.
- Life and death...

Every second counts.
- Every second counts...

Don't rest
until you've brought them to my castle.

With the name. By tomorrow.
- Tomorrow...

Promise me. - But I know...
- No 'buts', Bubi.

Good luck.

And remember, every second counts.

Magic trick!

Hey! My name is Bubi. What's yours?

Pinocchio.

Why are you so sad?
- Because I'm ill. Very ill.

I've just been to the saw-doctor.

What's wrong?
- Branchial asthma.

Branchial asthma?
- Yes,

branchial asthma.
Though I've always been healthy.

As a child I was heaving leaves,
but that was in fall.

Now I've got swollen knots.
- Knots?

And I can't get my branch up.

It runs in the family. Everyone had it.

Our limbs are limp.
Uncle Douglas Fir got some planks loose.

Just like his elders.
- Can you tell me...

What would help? Some fresh hardwood.

But I don't have enough bough for that.
And my stem is completely sapped.

Can you tell me...
- How that quack carpenter

suggested I recover from woodworm?

A holiday on the beech!

He must be barking mad!
- Yes, yes.

Can you tell me...
- What I'll do now?

I'll get completely trunk
and start shaking my rooty!

Very nice. Can you tell me...
- I'll tell you this:

Only when the last tree has fallen,
when the last forest's been razed,

only then will you realize
that wood is not enough!

But why waste my sap?
I'll be deadwood soon, anyway.

Deadwood... funny.
Where are the other dwarves?

They're probably
lumbering around the sawmill.

The sawmill...
And how do I get there?

Just follow the nose.
- The nose... Ah! There.

Right. You'll soon see
the forest for the trees.

Thank you, Pinocchio.

Bubi?
- Yes?

I'm not really Pinocchio.
I'm a secret agent.

And what's your name?
- My name is Pitt.

Board Pitt.

I flute to kill.

Thank you, dear...

Woodpecker.
Woody Woodpecker.

Thank you, woodpecker.
- No, that was a fib.

This forest is named after me.
Disneywood.

INN

THE THREE LAPPETS

Oh, the Royal Hunter! What an honor.

Show respect!
I'm now Royal Hunting Master.

Congratulations and felicitations,

Royal Hunting Master.
- What a royal honor. - Exactly.

I got the Golden Merit Badge
for deforestation.

And what is that?
- The Purple Deer Heart. - For?

For catching a deer with my bare hands.
- When? - When the waiter dropped it.

The deer. Roasted.

That was a joke.

"Royal Hunting Master".
That calls for celebration.

Is His Honor expecting guests?

Guests? What guests?

You mean friends? I have no friends.

The last friend I had

was done in
by a sadistic dwarf.

Brutus.

Drove him mad.

What would you like?
Fish, meat, poultry?

Poultry sounds good.
- I'd recommend the goose.

A splendid bird!

Crammed with chestnut stuffing
and bacon.

Wonderful. Bring on the birdy.
- At once!

Stuffed goose.

Chop, chop!

Goose isn't exactly low-carb.

It's a load of lard.

You need a stomach
of steel for that.

The fatter the goose,
the longer it stays with you.

The last goose I ate
felt like a stone in my tummy all night.

A guest? - And what a guest!
The Royal Hunting Master himself.

He wants stuffed goose, the works.
Chop, chop!

I can't do 'chop, chop' goose.
It takes time.

Ask him if he wants something to drink.
- Right.

Heartburn, breathlessness, nightmares.

The next morning, I threw up the...
- Spare me the details. I can imagine.

The goose is on its way.
If Your Honor...

Forget the goose.
I'll take something lighter.

Something lighter?
- Yes.

How about pigeon?
- Pigeon? Yes, why not! Pigeon.

A few lovely pigeons. Excellent.

Light as a feather,
quick as lightning.

I'm on my way, I'm flying.

Little pigeons...

Pigeons. Beautiful birds.

They're called flying rats.
- Oh.

They'll eat anything you can think of.

Any old garbage, all kinds of vermin.

Garbage chutes with wings!
Cockroaches,

silverfish, earwigs.

The goose is almost done. What a bird!

Cancel the goose. He wants pigeon.

Why does His Honor want pigeon?
- No idea. A whim.

What do you drink with that?
- A hearty red with a kick. To the butt.

Dung beetles, blowflies, tapeworms.

Pigeons are insatiable.

Even horse dung.

Perfect with pigeon...
- No pigeon. I'll take something small.

Even smaller?
- Yes. - Yes...

This is getting...

I've got it!
Spring chickens. Reared right here.

Tender as butter.

They melt on your tongue
like snowflakes in summer.

Spring chickens.

Spring chickens.

I don't want to say anything...

Baby chickens are kind of cute.

Compared to other animals.

That is, if you like animals.

I reared this one myself.

Here come the pigeons.

Back to square one, he wants chicken.
- What?

Who does he think he is?
- He doesn't think.

He's the Royal Hunting Master.

Maybe I'll just take a salad.
- With snails or without?

Without.

He just wants a salad.
- Salad.

No springs chickens. Coming up.

Salad absorbs all toxins
directly from the soil.

Unfiltered.

A salad.

He wants a salad.

A salad.

Cookie?

Kitchen's closed!

Cadmium, lead, aluminum, mercury...

...strontium.
- The kitchen's closed.

Closed!

I'm afraid the kitchen just closed.
- Aha.

And who are you?

Hm? Would you like to be my friend?

Now that Brutus is gone, hm?

Cookie, it'll work out next time.

Count me out.

You're not going to give up, are you?

There are other ways
to make our fortune.

Such as?

I knew it.

You're not going back, are you?

Without having achieved anything?
- Yes.

What will the others think?
And Snow White?

Yes, what'll Snow White say?

Or sing?
- Why am I so alone...

Alone...
That's what I'd like to be. Bye.

Alone? That sounds good!

I'm coming along!
- Me too.

It'll be just like old times.

You know what I missed the most?

That.
- You have to say 'check! ' - Check!

Yeah!

Bubi, we just mentioned you.
- What did you say?

That we missed you
and that it'll be like old times.

Old times? How old?
Very old or just slightly older?

What was I like back then?
- The same. Regrettably. Any questions?

Yes. You know that little man
who looks so strange

and has a funny face?

He's always dancing around a fire.

No.

He has a thing right here...

Him! Yes, we know him.

Ah. Yes, yes.

Snow White wanted to know his name.
- Why?

She didn't say.
- She must have said something else!

She gave me a kiss.

Bubi, you're imagining things.

That's what Snow White said. And...

she said we must find
the Evil One's name,

and bring it to her by tomorrow!

Oh!
- Wait, wait!

She said something else.
"It's a matter of life and death".

Stop, stop! There's more!

"Every second counts".

Hey, where are you going?

To Tshakko, of course!

You have vermin? You're in luck.
They call me 'The devourer of rats'.

Specialty: Rats.
I don't really devour them,

my dear woman.

Aha! Do you hate rats?

Those creatures with gross teeth.

Hello...

Rat control. Just a routine inspection.

May I?

The place is teeming. Rats, rats, rats!

You're in luck.

I don't just find rats,
I dispose of them too.

We have three price models:

A, B and C.

Type A: The small, common house rat.

Type B: The medium-sized,
mean-spirited rat bastard.

Somewhat unpleasant,
but nothing compared to type C.

Brace yourself!

The giant fanny pack rat! So named
because we catch them in fanny packs.

Because if we killed 'em here...

big mess!

That's why we... and take 'em away.

The small ones are no problem.
We blow 'em up.

Too brutal for you?
No problem, we also offer

music therapy. Mind if I...?

That wasn't right. Hold on.

Here we go.

Rat catcher!

Been here long? - Forever.
- We didn't want to disturb you.

Thanks.

I'd never have thought so,
but I'm happy to see you...

after all that vermin.
- Do you know a little man

who looks strange and has a funny face?

Bubi!
- No, Bubi isn't funny.

He's got a funny little mole.
- I know him.

Do you know his name?
- No, why?

Every second counts.
- Every second counts.

That means we need...
- Don't say 'Speedy'.

Speedy! What's he up to?
- He knew what way the wind was blowing.

Started his own business.
A small, independent company.

Great growth potential. Because...

it's crisis-proof!

Fire! Fire!

Fire! Help!

Fire! Fire!

Really? What a lucky coincidence.

I happen to be the fire service!

So, where is the fire?

There! At the edge of the forest.

Ah, there?

Where the smoke is coming from?

Yes.

Is it a large house or a small house?

Not very large.
- Because if it's

a small one, it can happen that

it's no longer burning
by the time I get there.

That happens a lot.

And it's very annoying...

for all involved.
- Do something.

Right. We'll do this:

Yes?
- I...

I'll get some water.
- Yes.

And you make sure

that the fire is still burning
when I get there.

Hurry, come on!

And keep stoking it...

if that nasty fire tries to go out.

Why do people always panic

when the heat is on?

What good does that do?

In a situation like this,

only three things matter:

Speed,

speed,

and speed.

Check!

At last! The group is complete.

You're a complete fool!
Can't even count to seven.

1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 6.

Impossible! Roll call!

1.
- 2. - 3. - 4.

4.
- 6.

7!

Ralfie! - Seven again!
- Let's celebrate!

With what?
- With that!

Oh, Spliss!

All is lost.
- Nothing is lost, Majesty.

Didn't you send someone
to find the Evil One's name?

Yes. Bubi.

You're right, Majesty. All is lost.

Where are we going?
- Where indeed?

You're asking me?
- Where do we want to go?

How should I know?
- We have to go somewhere.

I know, I know!
You want to know the name of the man

who's always singing:
For little deems the royal dame...

Yes!
- The Evil One's name!

Know what? I know who knows
what that guy's name is.

Helge the White!

Yes! Helge the White knows everything.

Right, it's a matter of life and death!
- Wait!

What?
- Every second counts.

We know. About turn!

Two, three, four!

Oh, how I hate them!

Those monsters!

Together again! Impossible!

I broke them up...

using my most irresistible disguise.

Once upon a very long time ago...

Ha! You are Snow White!

You monster.

No, I was.

But I'm Rumpelstiltskin.

There!
They're at Helge the White's clearing.

Everybody, come here!

"Gone oot"

Now what?
- Where can he be?

D. W. H.

D-W-H...

What could that mean?

Damn, we're hectic!
- Yes! That's...

No, that's not it.

Wait!

D-W-H...

...means...
- Dipshits with hemorrhoids.

'D' as in 'dear'.

'W' as in 'white'.
- Yes. - Yes.

'H' as in 'Helge'!

Yes!

'H' as in 'Helge'!
- Yes!

But he's gone out!

The signal's gone, too.

How would I know
when he's coming back?

Let's wait here, until he...

It's no use, it's the antenna.

And where is it?
- There.

How about a game?
- Yes! - Yes?

I spy with my little eye,
something that looks...

grumpy.

I spy with my little eye...
a living room!

A little more. More!

That's better!

They found Helge's living room!

A book!

My diary.

His diary.

It's about time
to make my dream come true.

Dream!
- Let me just say:

Fish Palace!

He's in Fish Palace!
- Fish Palace?

Fish Palace...

Luckily, I found the portal
to another world.

And I say the magic words:

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

into a distant land bring all!"

Yes, hello there.

They call it...

'The Land behind the Mirror'.
And only through a mirror

can you get there.

But you don't have to.
- Of course we have to!

Chop, chop!
- Chop, chop!

As quick as lightning.

I see. But, I mean...

What do you want there?

You have everything you need right here.

This heavenly calm.

The sun is shining all day...

Marvelous! And fresh air all around.

I'd say this is all

highly relaxing.

And over there, it's...

Well... I don't want to say

different from here, but...

We're going anyway.
- Yes, but not all seven!

First!
- First! - First!

They're going to jump!

It's flickering again!

There! Now it's perfect!

What is this disorder? Men!

Pull yourselves together!
- Yes. - Of course.

On my command!
- Why?

Because...

Because...

I said so!

I see.
- There can be only one number one.

And that's me! March!

They all jumped, except one of them!

Now it's my turn.

Wait! I don't know
if you knew this, but

all this jumping through me
is pretty...

It's pretty stressful for me.
I've really had

a bellyful of this!
I mean, really.

Well, I like it.

I used to hang in a throne room.

Okay, there was this queen,
she came trotting by every day:

"Mirror, mirror on the wall..."

And so on.
She used to think she was hot stuff.

Nobody else did, though.

But apart from that

it was a pretty sweet gig.

You know.

But...
- Oh goodness, the book!

So, you forgot the book?
- He did! - He did!

You probably had more important things
on your mind? - Yes!

There's nothing more important!
We'll never find Fish Palace!

How will we find Helge the White
without the book?

A map...

See, a map. Let's go!
- Yes!

Who's first?
- First! - First! - First!

Not that again! Our path

leads into the unknown!

There might be monsters
that'll chew off our ears.

Or monsters
that'll scratch out our eyes.

Demons that'll tie our tongues!

Men!
The first are also the first to die!

But if just one of us makes it,

even if it's the last one...
- Last! - Last! - Last!

Last!
- Oh!

Last.

Oh...

Dwarves! How I hate them!

Oh no! Dwarves are friends.

Nonsense!

They don't want me to have the child.

My precious!

But you can't just kill them.

Of course I can.

Hey! What's so funny?

What are you doing on my front lawn?

Who are you, anyway?

I am...

What's that, a monster?
- No, it's Red Riding Hood's dad.

Nonsense! Anyone can see what it is.
Red! Red men!

Redskins. Indians!

And the little green man?

What green man? There's no such thing.

Oh, the green dude? It's a long story.

Green is the color of camouflage.

And the color of hope,
of summer meadows.

That's what it stands for.
- Maybe he just needs to barf.

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

And what about that green man there?

You appear to be in some confusion

about the traffic code. It's simple.

Red means stop.

Green means go.

Let's practice that.
- On my command!

Green means go.

And red means stop.
- And red means stop.

Go! Stop!

Go! Stop!

Go! Stop!

Go! Stop!

That seems to be going pretty well.
- Yes. - Yes.

However, there are
exceptions to this rule.

A police officer in regulation uniform

legally outranks the light display

of the traffic light installation.

He may, in the line of duty,
cross the street at any point.

If I might demonstrate?

He was a nice little man.

Stop!
This is a traffic check!

Maybe a little hectic.
- Stop! - That was very interesting.

Green means go.

There! Green!

Dwarves

are so small and weird.

Dwarves tend to have a beard.

Dwarves

have a different view.

'Cause dwarves aren't quite like you.

A dwarf

is bigger than you think.

A dwarf

can be the biggest thing.

A dwarf

can do what you don't do.

A dwarf...

finds little Snow White cute.
- Is it far?

Yes, it is far to Fish Palace.

And I can tell you exactly
how far it is.

20,000 on this map...

is 20,000 cm in real life.

That looks...

Can I tell you something,
between you and me?

Please do.
- Then listen up.

I'll say this only once.

The future belongs to the fish.

Which means, to the fishermen as well.

This inconspicuous shop
will one day be a palace.

Why?

I'll tell you why.

And I'm very glad
that you're asking me that question.

I have studied this trend for years.

All we need to do,
is look at the emerging situation.

Let's look at the basic data.

Already, two thirds of the earth's

surface is covered with water.

There are seven seas.
Total water surface:

360 Million

Square kilometers.

A pain in the butt.

Well, fat chance!

The sea is rising.

Dykes are spewing water.

The islands are hit first.

Wangerooge,

Langeoog. The North Sea

is swallowing Mt. Brocken
and lapping at Hunsrück,

eating up parts of Essen.

Sounds monstrous. I don't understand.

You know the ozone hole?

It's a jumping off point

for all our ills.
- Is it that spectacular?

Oh yes. But I have to go even further.

Where was I?
- Going further.

Ah, yes...

With the Poles...

They're covered with ice, which means
for you, as a lover of fish...

Wet feet?
- The conditions are paradise!

For those inclined to see it.

Dactylopterus volitans everywhere!
- Huh?

Salt-water fish.
- That sounds crazy.

Studies were made, some were dropped.

You'll be jumping for joy.

Be on the lookout.

The sea is coming.
It's only a stone's throw away.

Can I help you?

WIENERS

Oh yes, you can.

Right!

From now on,
we'll stay on track.

And nothing, absolutely nothing,
will lead us astray.

Wieners! Hot wieners!
- Yes!

Wieners! The best in town.

100% introductory offer today.
Which means: Free wieners!

Ah!
- Wait! The best is yet to come!

My special mustard, extra spicy.

I call it...

'The Mustard of Forgetfulness'.

Forget everything
you knew about mustard. - Okay.

Enjoy it

as if it were your last wiener!

Hold it!

How nice.
A little wiener for the gentlemen.

And why not?
After a hard day's work?

How about a little dessert?
Some ice cream, perhaps?

And then perhaps a little nap?
- Yes!

So that the Evil One
can go about his evil deeds?

He'll kill the Queen's child,
chop it up, and turn it into

wieners!

Please, the best wieners in town.

What's the point in talking?
- The best wieners? I'd like one.

Not for you. Hey!

You forgot the mustard!
- Mustard's bad for you. Makes you dumb.

What do you care?
- It's not your turn.

Mustard! Liquid gold!

Bloody wars were waged for it, yes.

They were all drooling for it,
from Moscow to Madrid,

from Greenland to Geneva they clustered.

And what rhymes with that?

What goes with wieners?
What rhymes with retard?

I know! Ketchup!
- Yes!

Give me that!

You swines, you!

You're going to pay for that.
- Huh?

Money! Start counting!
- 4! - 3! - 108! - 77!

Are you that dumb?
I want to see money, you bums.

Huh? - Where do we get money?
- From the bank.

Don't panic, we'll be right back.

Are they really that stupid?

We want money! Chop, chop!

Attentionl This is the police!

Resistance is futile. You're surrounded.
Come out with your hands up.

Yes... hello there!
I don't know if you knew it,

but you look pretty, well...

Well, I don't want to say

'idiotic', but... actually, you do.

In fact, I don't think it's possible
to look any more idiotic.

Okay, on the other hand...

I spy with my little eye,
something that's gray. - Wall! - Shit!

My turn! I spy with...
- Wall! - Not fair!

Sure, it is! Okay, I spy...
- Wall, wall! My turn! - Wall?

I spy with my little eye,
something that looks ... - Wall?

No! I spy with my little eye,
something that looks stupid.

Psst!

I think
we should play something else.

Oh yes! How about a board game?
I'll show you!

My turn!

Stop! Stop!
- We'd love to play for hours on end,

but we have an important mission.
You understand, don't you?

Go! Quick!

Come on!

I'm coming along.

I'm sorry, but we're already seven.

All clear!
- Who are you? What do you want?

The one who's name you shouldn't tell.
- What name?

Tell? Tell who?

My name. It's in this envelope.

The dwarves!
- Don't say dwarves!

They're done.
- What?

Why?
- Because they're finished.

In jail.
- In jail?

Seven years, at least.

A dwarf is bigger than you think.
A dwarf...

Then why are they singing,
these monsters?

They're free. They're alive!

That's about to change.

They're about to meet me...

my most brutal form.

Don't panic on the Titanic.

A dwarf can bring a piece of heaven...
- Stop! Stop! Stop!

Are we there yet?

I want to play!
- Yes! Spin-the-dwarf!

Yes. I'll be the bottle.
- Oh no.

Knew it.

Let's play battle-dwarf.
- Yes, battle-dwarf.

B1, B2, B3...

Hit!

Sunk!
- And now dwarf-tossing!

And one!

And two!

And three! And... yes...

Hasta la vista, Mister!

I thought someone was in a hurry?

Who? - Well, you.
I thought you had to be someplace.

Right, Fish Palace.
- That's what I'm talking about.

Action, people, action.
And now, a hot tip for your trip.

Yes! Yes!
We're going to Fish Palace!

Correct! And check! Get in line.

First!

Can I be in front? I can't see.

Stay where you are. Don't panic.

Postpone your sorrow 'til tomorrow.
- I see. - Stop! Stop!

What is it?
- Every second counts. - Take it easy.

Johnny Controlletti

has it under control.

I can't see.

Dude!
- Ralfie, what are you doing?

Sorry. It was just a reflex.

Hey, are you nuts and bolts?

Ralfie, give the man his ball back.
- What planet are you from?

Planet of the Apes, or what?

Ow!

No more games!
We have to go. Every second counts.

Yes - Okay, if there's a hurry,
I spy with my little eye,

something that looks like...

There it is.
- It's got a flat.

Not true! - It has two flats.
One in front and one in back.

No problem, I always have
my special tool for cases like this.

Take your seats! Eyes on the road!
- Follow me, men!

Now, where is he? Ah, there he is!

What is this? Drinky-drinky!

Nice drinky-drinky! Good.

Not squirty! Drinky!

Not squirty!

Give me that botty! Ow!

I could ... - Yes, Spliss.
All we have left is prayer.

Yes, prayer.
My step-mommy always prayed with me.

Every night she would come to my bed,

and I remember how she said:

What is this shit, you little turd?

Smells like some polecat
puked his guts out in an Ouzo bottle!

How many times have I told you:
Hands above the blanket!

And not just during prayer,
you little butthole.

One more time, and I'll kick yo' ass
so hard you'll hear the angels singing!

Is that what you want? No!
Now sleep! Lights off!

Hey, do you mind helping out here?
- Of course. No problem.

I think it's fantastic that you're giving
my clients a chance, Mario.

The boys are on their way.

They should be there in
three minutes max.

Perfect. And the guys work for free.

That's what I thought.

Finally! You know how long I've been
waiting? 3, no, 4 minutes! Dismount!

Oh, I'm afraid we can't.

We have to go to the Palace of Fish,
and we even have a plan how to get there.

Calm down. There's only one guy who
makes the plans here.

And that's Mario. Because this is
still Mario's Magical Fable World.

What is going on?

How could the agency send me giant babies
like you? I ordered seven dwarves.

We are the Seven Dwarves.

You want to tell Mario
about dwarves?

I've been running this business for 25 years.

Dwarfs are god damn small!

-Most people think that.
-Old Judy press.

What are you even wearing?

Where did you get those outfits?
The rubbish bin?

Dwarves always look like this.

Dwarves have never looked like that!
Mario will show you what they look like.

That's what dwarves look like. Kind of.
May I introduce: My Snow White.

Mario!

Where have you been?
- Yes, I'll be right there, my dearie.

That is Snow White!

-That's supposed to... Just no. Gosh!
-What a funny joke. -You must be kidding!

Someone screwed you over.
That's not Snow White.

Snow White is 1000x prettier than her.

-How dare you?
-Wait! Hitting Bubi is still my part.

But between you and me, I used to
work in vermin control,

what I'm saying is I'm used to
seeing ugly creatures, but her?

She is so much uglier!

-Don't talk about my wife like that!
-Mario! -Yes, dearie, I'm coming.

Don't talk about his wife like that!

What's the matter, my dearie?
Aren't they adorable?

They're supposed to be dwarves?
Hello! Dwarves! Dwarves are small!

Yes, most people think that, old prejudice.

You'll see, the boys are world class,
a stroke of luck, just like you, my angel.

You've been saying that for 25 years.
World class. International career. Ha!

In truth you've always been bad luck.
From the very start. Always.

Always... We did have happy times.
Just remember our honeymoon.

Just the two of us and the night of Bad Alp.

-This is so romantic.
-It's going to get more romantic.

How about some candlelight atmosphere?

Mario has thought of everything.
Champange, my princess?

There you go!

Yes! I remember it very well...
I've been "ash blonde" since.

-A short losing streak.
-Short?

We can celebrate its 25th anniversary.
A silver losing streak. Pah!

One moment, my princess. Yes?

-Could we have our map back? -You're not getting
it until after the show with Snow White.

-That isn't Snow White.
-What?

Don't listen, princess. You will always be
my Snow White. My super star.

I don't just want to be your star.
A star is someone everyone knows.

And who would recognise me?
Not even those stand-in gnomes.

We are the Seven Dwarves!
And you are not Snow White!

Enough of that! Get in position now!

-Come on, you're mourning.
-Mourn? but why?

Because Snow White is dead.

-That's it! Now you've got it.
-And how did she... -Die?

Just read the fairytale.

-My dearie... How did you die again?
-Are you talking about me? -Oh her!

-But that's not Snow White!
-It is Snow White, get it?

-And you are mourning her. -[Laughter]
-That's what you call mourning?

Look at him. That's real sorrow.
That's how you do it.

Take a cue from him.
I'm counting on you.

And if you do a good job,
you'll get this back.

Look! More odd characters.

-Why does he need us then? -Exactly!
Get changed, gather. -What are we gathering?

And that brings us to the first
fairytale highlight.

The tale of all tales, the essence of
all German fairy tales

The tale of Snow White and the seven...

Snow White and... ah, yes...

Enough! And if Snow White says it's
enough it is enough.

Little does my lady dream...
-Stop, stop stop... I know!

-Get lost, kiddo!
-Why?

Congratulations. You'll receive
your punishment first.

Keep going, it's going to be a great picture.

Mario and his favourite dwarf.
Please smile.

Oh, we'll get our map back now!

[Groans]

Map!

Look, over there, dwarves!

-We have to get going. -Without map?
-And without Bubi? -My, my. Where could he be?

He knows we're in a rush.

-There he is!
-You're crazy.

There he is.

There you finally are! Do you have the map?
-What map?

Oh yes, the map. We don't need it anymore.
Our quest ends here.

Why? -Why... Because, because...
Because I say so, over and out.

But Snow White?
-Snow White... Snow White is... Is dead!

-We can get going now! -Without the map?
-With the map! -Why didn't you say so?

-I did!
-To the Palace of Fish!

Wow, Bubi, your right jab...
Hot damn!

What have we here?! Let's pick up
where we left off.

But without a photographer taking pictures!

A dwarf comes seldom alone,

a dwarf feels only well in seven,

a dwarf is popular everywhere.
A dwarf...

Actually, or... it is lying to us.

I know, I know last name is
in my nose because there...

FISH PALACE

Fish! - Huh?
- Yummy fish!

Lovely, tasty fish!

Mackerel!

Salmon!

Perch!

Helge the White, we're the 7 dwarves

and we have a problem.

We have traveled far,

we braved dangers
and overcame obstacles to ask you,

the all-knowing one,
the decisive question:

Can you tell us the Evil One's name?

No.

You know that little man
who hops around the fire and sings:

"For little deems the royal..."
- No!

He's got a weird mole.
- Right here.

Here? - Yes.
- Not a wart, but a mole? - Yes?

Right here?
- Yes. - Yes, I know him.

Yes!

Do you know his name?
- Nope.

Bye.
- Bye. - Bye.

Bye.

Hey!

I can sing you a song.

Listen up!

Witch's house, gingerbread,

that is where the witch is kept.

Witch's house, gingerbread,

that's where the old witch is kept!

If you want to find a name,

you should ask the witching dame.

Gingerbread...

Witch's house, gingerbread,
that's where we will get ahead.

Gingerbread, yes!
We will get ahead! Right on!

Witch's house, gingerbread...

Okay, I've had enough. See ya.

Gingerbread.

Witch's house...
- Witch's house? - Yes!

Get ahead?
- Yes!

You know what that means?
- Ye... Nope!

We have to go back!

Back home!
- Yes!

Anyone got an idea
how we're supposed to get back?

I knew it.

We're closed!

What now?

What's the way to the fairytale land?
- Take a train.

Track seven and three-quarters.

Right, men!
Train station, track 7¾. Follow me!

"...want to tell another secret,

as improbable as it may sound.
But before I do so..."

Come on!
- Hold on, we can't afford mistakes.

Uh-huh.
- Here it is.

"The way into the land of fairy tales

leads through the pillar

that..."
- The pillar!

Wait, it says, "The pillar that...

No, no, no, don't force it.
Gently, like this!

Listen to me! It says, "The pillar...
- Pillar!

No, no. The...
- Yes.

The pillar that...
- Oh, the pillar!

No, no.
The pillar with a mirror.

Hey, look at this.

Well, what is that?

That is a...
- Mirror!

Right!
And how did we get here?

Through a...

Mirror!
- Right!

And how do we get back?

Through a...

Pillar!

"Mirror on the pillar wall,

into the fairytale land bring all."

Yes, hello there.
I don't know if you... Hello!

Could you please listen?
I don't know, if you knew this,

but you're knee-deep in shit.

This ain't the way to fairyland.

But Helge the White said track 7¾!

Ooh, Helge the White told you!
Let me tell you something:

"D-d-don't let people screw you,

especially not on tracks."

Yes, hello there.
I don't know if you knew this,

but someone is trying to...

well, screw you real hard,
if you pardon the expression.

So I was right!

Let's put it like this:
You COULD get back through me...

Cookie was right!
- Yes! - We can!

But SHOULD you?
What do you want there, anyway?

All that peace and quiet,
that endless sunshine...

All that fresh, clean air.

It's much nicer here!

The weather is full of surprises.

Spicy exhaust fumes, roaring traffic.

Heavenly!

Couldn't you jump for joy?
Maybe in front of an oncoming train?

We're sorry,
but we have no time for that.

That's right!
Formation! Chop, chop!

Let's go.
- I am so sick of this!

Now what?
- Don't you have your battering ram?

No, no, technology is changing.

[Unintelligible Chinese shouting]

Made in Taiwan. What the?

Wait.

This is the police!
Resistance is futile!

The house is surrounded!

Come out with the name above your head!

The dwarves!

How I hate them!

It's a matter of life and death!
- I'll show them!

You won't get me.
- Every second counts.

Oh dear...

Are you coming out...

or not?

"Invisibility Soup. Ingredients:

A mandrake found by the road,

a large, juicy toad,
the crushed horn of a troll,

milk of a donkey raised on a knoll."

I got it!

She's not coming out.

Final warning!

If you don't come out...
Then... then...

Crushed horn

in mandrake sauce...

If you don't come out,

then... then... what then?

Then we'll come in!
- Yes!

Then we'll come in!

Bring it on!

"The soup takes effect within 7 seconds,

and then you are invisible."

Seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one!

"Assuming you didn't forget
any ingredients,

in which case
unpleasant side effects might occur.

If the toad is missing, for example,

the soup will become hard as stone
within 7 seconds."

Come, toady, toady, toady!

Come, toady.

Toady!

You all know what to do?
- Yes. Uh...

No? Let's go!

Hup, hup, hup! Go, go!

There you are!

I've been longing to see you.

So why didn't you come out?
- A little mishap.

I wanted to serve cocktails,
but I forgot the main ingredient.

If one of you would be so kind

as to throw this toad in, then...

Hold on!

Lappet-summit!

What's there to talk about? I mean,

are you going to take advantage

of my situation?
An old friend in need?

I mean, we are friends, right? Sure,
there've been some misunderstandings,

but that's all water under the bridge.

Right.

You'll get your toad,

as soon as we get our name.

What name?

The Evil One's name.

Whose name?
- You know, that weird little being.

Really weird!
- But little, like...

Don't say it!
- Odd fellow, rather unkempt.

He's got a... a...

Him? Yes, I know him.
- Yes!

And what's his name?
- Oh, that...

Yes?
- I forgot.

I can never remember his name.

That's why he wrote it down for me.

Wrote it down? Where?

The Evil One's name is in...

In?

On...
- On...?

En...
- En?

Something with "en"!

Enlarge?

Enchant?
- Entrails?

Enemas?

Enrobe, perhaps?

En-Ta-Ta!

No, it was in the en...

Envelope, Mom!

My, you're forgetful!
I'm glad I didn't inherit that from you.

You see, Mom's been through a lot,
which is why she...

voluntarily...
I don't want to say 'lost her mind',

but, well, she...
she restricted it a bit.

Right, Mom?
- Is that the envelope?

Of course.
The envelope with the Evil One's name.

Yes!

Stop, stop, stop!
What's in the envelope?

Wait! The toad!

Son, could you do your mother a favor?
- Sorry, Mom, I gotta go.

Hold that thought, Mom.
You can tell me next time.

Such a good boy.
A mother couldn't wish for a better son.

You'll visit me again soon, right?
- Of course, I told you already.

But there's something I must do first.

A trifling matter.

Such a good boy!

The things he's done for me!

But since when do I have a son?

A dwarf is bigger than you think

A dwarf is the biggest thing...

Spliss, why are you dressed like that?
- I'm prepared for the worst.

You think it will come to that?

I don't know who should prevent it now.

Who can stop the Evil One now?
Your dwarves?

Bubi!

Well?

Didn't I always say it?

Our dwarves!

Bubi, you made it!

Brummboss!

The baby's sleeping.

Ah! Brumboss.
- How you? Everything all right?

We did it.
- I knew you would.

Well? Where is it?
- What?

The Evil One's name.

The Evil One's name. Here you go.

Yes! You got the name.
- Shh!

You got the name.

I don't know how to thank you.

Was it difficult?
- No problem.

It was just around the corner.

Then what took you so long?

We had to go to another world first.
- Yes, it was so weird...

It was so weird there.

And very hectic.

What do we do now?
- Now you'll never split up again.

Promise me? - Yes.
- This calls for a celebration. - Yes.

One, two, three, four...
- Wait!

A dwarf is bigger than you think
A dwarf

can be the biggest thing.

A dwarf sees what you don't see.
A dwarf finds little Snow White sweet.

A dwarf is taller than you think.
A dwarf...

A party? What's the occasion?
- We found something.

The Evil One's name.

Really? How interesting.
For I...

...am the Evil One, known to all.

With the name none dares to call!

I thought the Evil One would be taller.
- Most people think that.

An old prejudice.
- And what is it you want?

You know perfectly well!

The child!

Unless...

Unless we know your name.

Woe is me! Foiled again!

The name is...

Mother Holle!

Mother Holle?

Not perhaps Daddy Holle?

No, his name isn't Mother Holle!

But Helge the White said so,
and we got this envelope from a witch.

Actually, the son of a witch.
- This young man, by chance?

Seem familiar?

Or him?

Or him?

Or him?

Or that guy?

Or this charming creature?

They were all you?
- Yes, they were all me.

In the name of evil.

And I always thought your name was...

Rumpelstiltskin!

Yes!

The devil told you that!

Bubi, my child is saved!
We did it!

Bubi, Bubi, Bubi...

The child...
- Bubi, Bubi...

My precious...

You promised me the child.
You lied to me.

Oh no. You lied to ME!

You promised me a full head of hair.
- But I didn't say for how long.

You devil in human form!

Take that back!
- Fine, I take back "human form".

Stop!

Enough.
Evil shall receive its just desserts.

But let's not forget goodness! Boys!

You vanquished evil...
at the last second.

And is there anything better than

a last-second rescue?
- No!

Yes! There is!
Something much better!

Did you ever consider me?
Or my nerves?

No, of course not.

He knew the name all along.

Yes.
- But he didn't tell anyone.

And why didn't he?
- Yes, why? - Why?

Because no one would listen to him!

I know you guys.

And you know me.

Which is why you probably know
what I'm about to say, hm?

Boys!

I am so proud of you.

So proud.

Can I ask a question?

Can I join you guys again?

Please.

I'm sorry, we're already 7.

And so we can

laugh happily ever after
at the adventures

of the immortal 7.

What's so funny about that?
Grown men with pointy caps!

Dwarves, are so small and weird.

Dwarves, should be highly feared.

Dwarves, are as dumb as fools!

Dwarves, like going to the loo!

Dwarves, are useless and alert!

Dwarves, make a lot of dirt!

Dwarves, take a different view.

'Cause dwarves aren't quite like you!

A dwarf is bigger than you think!

A dwarf can be the biggest thing!

A dwarf sees what you don't see.

A dwarf finds little Snow White sweet.

Dwarves, have no respect of late.

Dwarves, are what I truly hate.

Dwarves, never shut their trap.

Dwarves, wear a stupid cap!

Dwarves, are my favorite guys.

Dwarves, tell you dirty lies.

Dwarves, see the forest for the trees.

Dwarves, can get weak in the knees.

Dwarves, are helpful and great.

Dwarves, tend to be a little late.

Dwarves, really drive me nuts.

Dwarves, have such sexy butts.

Dwarves, will buy any rot.

Dwarves, tend to like it hot.

Dwarves, like to play it rough.

For dwarves, the wood is not enough.

A dwarf is bigger than you think.

A dwarf can be the biggest thing.

A dwarf sees what you don't see.

A dwarf finds little Snow White sweet.

A dwarf can be fully grown.

A dwarf rarely comes alone.

A dwarf comes in a group of seven.

A dwarf will bring a piece of heaven.