500 Days of Summer (2009) - full transcript

After being dumped by the girl he believes to be his soulmate, hopeless romantic Tom Hansen reflects on their relationship to try and figure out where things went wrong and how he can win her back.

This is a story of boy meets girl.

The boy, Tom Hansen

of Margate, New Jersey,

grew up believing that

he'd never truly be happy...

until the day he met "the one."

This belief stemmed from early

exposure to sad British pop music...

and a total misreading

of the movie The Graduate.

Elaine! Elaine!

The girl, Summer Finn

of Shinnecock, Michigan

did not share this belief.

Since the disintegration

of her parents marriage

she'd only loved two things.

The first was her long dark hair.

The second was how easily

she could cut it off...

and feel nothing.

Tom meets Summer on January 8.

He knows almost immediately

she's who he's been searching for.

This is a story of boy meets girl.

But you should know up front

this is not a love story.

# They made a statue of us #

# And put it on a mountaintop #

# Now tourists come and stare at us #

# Blow bubbles with their gum #

# Take photographs of fun #

# Have fun #

# They'll name a city after us #

# And later say it's all our fault #

# Then they'll give us a talking to #

# 'Cause they've got years of experience #

# Living in a den of thieves #

# Rummaging for answers in the pages #

# Living in a den of thieves #

# And it's contagious #

# And it's contagious ##

We didn't know

who else to call.

It's Amanda Heller

all over again.

You did the right thing.

Now where is he?

Thomas.

Rachel.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to help you.

- Help me how?

First' put down the plate.

Drink this.

- What is that?

- Vodka.

Um' does Mom know

that you're here?

'Cause it's probably past 10:00.

- Don't worry about it.

Just start from the beginning,

and tell us what happened.

Things were going so well.

Then what?

I think we should

stop seeing each other.

Just like that?

- Just like that.

- Did she say why?

- I mean' this thing- what are we doing?

I mean, is this normal?

Norm- I- I don't know. I don't care.

I'm happy. Aren't you happy?

You're happy?

- You're not?

All we do is argue.

- That is bullshit.

Maybe she was just

in a bad mood.

Yeah, maybe like

a- a hormonal thing.

- P.M.S?

- What do you know about P.M.S?

- More than you' Tom.

- Then what happened?

This can't come as

a total surprise to you.

I mean, we've been

like Sid and Nancy

for months now.

Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy...

seven times with a kitchen knife.

I- I mean, we have some disagreements,

but I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious.

No. I'm Sid.

Oh, so I'm Nancy?

Let's just eat,

and we'll talk about it later.

Mmm. That is good.

I'm really glad we did this.

I love these pancakes.

What?

Tom, don't go.

You're still my best friend!

- Jesus.

- You've broken up with girls before.

Yes.

And girls have broken up

with you before.

This is different.

- Why?

'Cause it's Summer.

So you'll-you'll

meet somebody new.

Point is, you're

the best guy I know.

You'll get over her.

I think it's kind of like how they say.

There's, uh-

There's plenty of other

fish in the sea.

No.

- They- They say that.

Well, they're lying.

I don't want to get over her.

I want to get her back.

Maybe playing it safe

is the wrong approach.

The nuclear family is dead'

and we need a new holiday

that recognizes that.

May 21 st.

Other Mother's Day.

Thank you.

I'd say we've got

some potential here.

What do you think, Hansen?

Could you write up some

prototypes for these?

Uh' Mr. Vance,

there's a telephone call

for you on line three.

Oh. Thank you.

Uh' everyone, this is Summer,

my new assistant.

Summer just moved here from-

Michigan.

- Right. Michigan. Right.

Uh, Summer, everyone.

Everyone, Summer.

Excuse me. I have to take this.

It's nice to meet you all.

There's only two kinds

of people in the world.

There's women, and there's men.

Summer Finn was a woman.

Height, average. Weight, average.

Shoe size, slightly above average.

For all intents and purposes,

Summer Finn, just another girl.

Except she wasn't.

To wit, in 1998,

Summer quoted a song

by the Scottish band

Belle and Sebastian...

in her high school yearbook.

"Color my life

with the chaos of trouble."

This spike in Michigan

sales of their album...

The Boy with the Arab Strap...

continues to puzzle industry analysts.

Summer's employment

at the Daily Freeze

during her sophomore year...

coincided with an inexplicable

212% increase in revenue.

Every apartment Summer rented...

was offered at an average rate

of 9.2% below market value.

And her round-trip commute to work...

averaged 18.4 double takes per day.

It was a rare quality,

this "Summer effect."

Rare, and yet something

every postadoles cent male

has encountered...

at least once in their lives.

For Tom Hans en to find it now

in a city of 400,000 offices,

91,000 commercial buildings

and 3.8 million people-

Well, that could only

be explained by one thing:

fate.

Dude, I hear she's a bitch.

Really?

Yeah. Patel tried to talk

to her in the copy room.

She's totally not having it.

Maybe she was just in a hurry.

And maybe she's an uppity,

"better than everyone" superskank.

Damn.

I know.

She's pretty hot.

That sucks.

Why is it pretty girls...

think they can treat people like crap

and get away with it?

Centuries of reinforcement.

You know what? Screw her.

I don't care.

If she wants to be that way, fine.

# Driving in your car#

# Oh, please don't drop me home #

Smiths?

Hi.

I love the Smiths.

Sorry?

I said I love the Smiths.

You have- You have

good taste in music.

You like the Smiths?

- Yeah.

# To die by your side is

such a heavenly way to die #

I love 'em.

Holy shit.

There you go.

Have another piece.

Ah.

Drinks?

Arthur, did you get a piece?

- Thanks.

Want one? Yeah.

Want one?

- Mmm.

Summer, right?

- Oh. Yeah.

Smiths fan.

- Yeah. Tom.

Want some, uh, uh-

It's not champagne.

I don't know what it is.

- Sure.

So, how's it goin'?

Pretty good.

You just moved here, right?

Mm-hmm.

- When?

Saturday.

- Oh, wow.

And, uh, what brought you?

Boredom mostly.

Wanted to try something

new and exciting.

- Mmm.

Well, clearly you've

come to the right place.

So, have you

worked here long?

- About three or four years.

Wow. You've...

always wanted to write

greeting cards?

No, I don't even

want to do it now.

Well, you should

do something else then.

Yeah. I studied to be

an architect, actually.

You did? That's cool.

What happened there?

It didn't work out.

I needed a job, and here we are.

You any good?

Well, um, I wrote this one.

"Today you're a man.

Mazel tov

on your bar mitzvah."

It's a big seller.

I meant as an architect.

Yeah.

I doubt it.

- Well,

you're a perfectly adequate

greeting card writer.

Thank you. That was actually

my nickname in college.

They called me

"Perfectly Adequate" Hansen.

They used to call me Anal Girl.

I was very neat and organized.

Well, I should get back, so-

Uh-

All right. See you later.

I don't know, man.

I think it's official.

I'm in love with Summer.

I love her smile.

I love her hair. I love her knees.

I love this heart-shaped birthmark

she has on her neck.

I love the way she sometimes

licks her lips before she talks.

I love the sound of her laugh.

I love the way she looks

when she's sleeping.

# She's like the wind #

I love how I hear this song

every- every time I think of her.

I love how she makes me feel.

Like-

Like anything's possible,

or like- I don't know. Like-

Like life is worth it.

This is not good.

She likes Magritte and Hopper.

And we talked

about Bananafish

for like 20 minutes.

We're so compatible,

it's insane.

She's- well, she's not

like I thought at all.

She's amazing.

Oh, boy.

- What?

Just 'cause some

cute girl likes the same

bizarro crap you do,

that doesn't make her

your soul mate, Tom.

- Red team wins!

- What do you mean?

- It's off.

- what?

- Me and Summer.

- Was it ever on?

No, but it could have been,

in a world where

good things happen to me.

- Yeah, well, that's not

really where we live.

- No.

Lucky.

So, what happened?

All right. You ready?

- Yeah.

So there we are.

Nine more floors to ride,

just me and her.

Hey, Summer.

Hi.

How was your weekend?

It was good.

Can you believe that shit?

I'm sorry. what shit?

- I think I missed something.

- She said, "It was good."

Emphasis on the "good."

She basically said she spent

the weekend having sex with

some guy she met at the gym.

Skank. Whatever.

I'm over it.

What the hell

is wrong with you?

- She's not interested in me.

There's really nothing

I can do about that.

Just because

she said it was good?

And some other things.

Like, did she say, uh,

"hey" instead of "hi"?

I mean, 'cause you know

that that- that means

that she's a lesbian, right?

I gave her plenty of chances.

I'm going to the supply room.

Do you guys need anything?

I think you know what I need.

Uh, toner.

Okay. Sure. No problem.

# Good times for a change #

# See, the luck I've had #

# Can make a good man turn bad #

# So, please, please, please #

# Let me, let me, let me #

# Let me get what I want ##

Whatever, man. It's fine.

I don't need this crap really.

I just, you know-

I'm comfortable.

I'm unhassled.

People don't realize this,

but loneliness-

- It's underrated.

- You could just ask her out.

Don't be stupid.

Hey.

This Friday, all you can

karaoke at the Mill.

- No.

Come on.

They're not gonna let you

back in there after last time.

Ah, I wasn't that bad.

Dude, you threw up

on the stage, you tried to

fight the bartender...

and you threatened to

burn the place down.

But I didn't

burn the place down.

- We're not going back there, man.

Look. It's not like that, okay?

It's a work thing.

The whole office is going.

I can't go, even if I wanted-

You're not listening to me.

What?

- The whole office is going.

#Just like every cowboy #

# Sings a sad, sad song #

# Every rose has its thorn ##

Hi.

- Hi.

They said you weren't coming.

You asked if I was-

Goddamn. That song is brilliant!

What's up, Hansen?

Summer. Summer-

That's me.

Come on up.

You-

Okay. I'm new,

so no making fun of me.

- Whoo!

Thanks, chief.

Ah, thanks.

- Yeah, man.

Cheers.

# I got some troubles

but they won't last #

# I'm gonna lay right down

here in the grass #

# And pretty soon

all my troubles will pass #

# 'Cause I'm in Su-Su-Su #

# Su-Su-Su #

# Su-Su-Su-Su-Su-Su #

# Sugar Town ##

Like, that's what I was-

I guess.

Hello.

- Hi.

I didn't, uh- I didn't know

you were gonna join us.

I would have gotten you,

you know, a drink, or-

I'm good.

- You're good?

You- You were great-

great up, uh, singing.

- Thank you.

I wanted to sing "Born To Run,"

but they didn't have it.

I love "Born To Run."

- Me too.

Tom's from New Jersey.

- Really?

Yeah. I grew up there.

Uh, I lived there till I was 12.

I named my cat

after Springsteen.

No kidding.

What-what was his name?

Bruce.

Oh.

That makes sense.

So, do you have a boyfriend?

- No.

- Why not?

- 'Cause I don't want one.

- Come on. I don't believe that.

You don't believe

that a woman could enjoy

being free and independent?

Are you a lesbian?

No, I'm not a lesbian.

I just don't feel comfortable

being anyone's girlfriend.

I don't actually feel

comfortable being anyone's

anything, you know.

- I don't know what

you're talking about.

- Really?

Nope.

Okay. Let me

break it down for you.

- Break it down.

- Okay. I like being on my own.

Relationships are messy,

and people's feelings get hurt.

Who needs it? We're young.

We live in one of

the most beautiful

cities in the world.

Might as well have fun

while we can and...

save the serious stuff for later.

Holy shit. You're a dude.

She's a dude.

Okay. But wait, wait.

What happens if you fall in love?

What?

Well, you don't

believe that, do you?

It's love.

It's not Santa Claus.

Well, what does

that word even mean?

I've been in relationships,

and I don't think I've ever seen it.

Well, maybe that's-

- And most marriages end

in divorce these days.

Like my parents.

- Okay. Mine too, but-

Me thinks the lady

doth protest too much.

The lady dothn't.

There's no such thing as love.

It's a fantasy.

Well, I think you're wrong.

Okay. Well,

what is it that

I'm missing then?

I think you know it

when you feel it.

I guess we can just

agree to disagree.

Yeah.

Okay. Who's singing next?

I nominate

young Werther here.

I'm not nearly

drunk enough to-

Bartender.

Whoo! Whoo!

# outside there's a boxcar waiting #

# Outside the family stew #

# out by the fire breathing #

Whoo! Whoo!

# Outside we wait

till our face turns blue #

# I know the nervous walking #

# I know the dirty beard

ha-ha-hangs #

# Out by the boxcar waiting #

# Take me away

to nowhere plains #

# There is a wait so long #

# So long, so long #

# There is a wait so long #

# Here comes your man #

Whoo! You're good!

# Here comes your man #

# Here comes your man ##

Is it-

It's not?

No, that's not it.

What is that then?

I don't know. That-

That- That's something,

but that's not it.

- I know.

Ah, I used to

watch it every week.

- Oh. Yeah!

It was the best show on TV.

- I know.

Knight Rider? Come on.

- And the theme song is really good.

So good.

- This is gonna

bother me for a week.

Me too.

# And I'm proud to be an American #

# Where at least I know I'm free #

# And I'd like to entertain- ##

- You were amazing.

- I know, buddy.

You're amazing.

This was so much fun.

- Yeah.

You guys are so much-

- Wait! wait! Hey.

What's up?

- Not you.

You.

He likes you.

- Okay.

He likes likes you!

- Good night, McKenzie.

Why don't you just

tell her, Tom?

- Yeah.

You guys are the best!

Sorry you had to see that. He's-

Happens every time we come here.

He, uh- I don't know.

Something about

that guy and singing.

Is that true?

- Yeah, yeah.

He drinks, and he sings

and just loses his shit.

No, uh, not McKenzie.

Um, the other thing.

What thing?

Do you... like me?

Yeah.

Yeah, of course I like you.

As friends?

Right. As friends.

Just as friends?

Yeah. I mean, I- I don't know.

I hadn't really thought about, um-

Yes. why?

No reason. I just-

I think you're interesting,

and I'd like for us to be friends.

Is that all right?

Yeah. It's, um-

Yeah. You and me.

We should be friends.

- Mmm.

Okay. Good.

Well, I'm that way, so-

Okay. Well, good night.

- Good night.

- Hey.

- Hi.

So, that was fun

the other night.

You son of a bitch.

- Shh!

The same girl you've been

obsessing over for weeks now?

I've not been obsessing.

The girl you said was out

of your league, that you'd

never have a chance with.

That girl.

- Paul, seriously.

Did you bang her?

- No.

What, hum job? Hand job?

- Man, no.

No jobs. I'm still unemployed.

We- We kissed.

Level with me, man. Come on.

This is your best friend, huh?

Your best friend who tolerated

you whining about this girl

for weeks on end.

Paul-

- You were essentially

stalking her!

Paul! Shh!

- Hi.

- Hey.

I'm Summer.

- Summer.

I'm Paul.

- Hi, Paul. Nice to meet you.

Well, I gotta go.

I gotta do some, you know.

Yeah, man.

- Um, pretend I was never here.

Oh, wait! Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom.

Um, if any jobs come up-

Thanks, Paul! See ya!

He's, uh, you know,

an old friend.

If you heard any of, um-

Heard what?

- Nothing. You wanna go?

Yeah. I'm stalking.

I mean, I'm starving.

Ah, hon?

Our sink is broken.

Man, all of our sinks

are broken.

What are we looking for again?

Uh, trivets.

How 'bout a fly gel?

No, I don't think so.

No? You don't

want a fly gel?

Home sweet home.

Our place really

is lovely, isn't it?

Yes.

Ooh! Idol's on.

The TV's not working.

Oh.

Well, I'm famished.

Let's eat.

Mmm. Smells delicious.

Oh, honey, that's because

it is delicious.

I made it myself.

Bald eagle.

Your favorite.

Mm-hmm.

The sink's broken.

Well, that's okay, because...

that's why we bought a home

with two kitchens.

You're so smart.

I'll race you to the bedroom.

# Left behind #

# There goes the fear again #

# Let it go #

# There goes the fear##

Darling, I don't know

how to tell you this,

but... there's a Chinese family

in our bathroom.

This is fun.

You're fun.

Thanks.

Hey, um,

I just wanna tell you

that, um,

I'm not really looking...

for anything... serious.

Is that okay?

Yeah.

'Cause some people

kind of freak out

when they hear that.

No, not me.

You sure?

Yeah. Like, casual.

- Right? Take it slow.

Right.

No pressure.

Can you, uh-

Can you wait one second?

Okay. Settle.

She's just a girl.

Just a girl.

She wants to keep it casual,

which is why she's

in my bed right now.

But that's casual.

That's what casual people do.

That's fine. That's great.

Hi.

- Hi.

# What I want you've got

and it might be hard to handle #

# Like the flame that burns the candle #

# The candle feeds the flame #

# Yeah, yeah

what I've got full stock #

# of thoughts and dreams

that scatter#

# You're pullin' them all together #

# And I can't explain

oh, yeah #

# Well, well, you #

Hey.

# Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh #

Hello.

# You make my dreams come true #

# Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh #

Hi.

# Ooh-ooh #

# well, well, well, you #

# Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh #

# oh, yeah #

# You make my dreams come true #

Thanks.

# ooh-ooh, you, ooh-ooh #

# Yeah, oh, yeah #

# You #

# on a night when bad dreams

become a screamer#

# when they're messin'

with the dreamer#

# I can laugh it in the face #

# Twist and shout my way out #

# And wrap yourself around me #

# 'Cause I ain't the way you found me #

# And I'll never be the same

oh, yeah #

# Well, well, you #

# You make my dreams come true #

# ooh-ooh, you, ooh-ooh #

# whoa, yeah #

# Ooh-ooh #

# well, well, well, you #

# Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh #

# Whoo-whoo #

# You make my dreams come true #

# ooh-ooh, you, ooh-ooh #

# oh-oh-oh, yeah #

# Ooh-ooh #

# Now listen to this #

# I'm down on my daydream #

# oh, that sleepwalk

should be over by now #

# Oh, no #

# Yeah, you #

# Yeah ##

You know, I'm gonna- I'm gonna-

I'm gonna get Alfredo's number.

Okay.

- And I'll- And I'll bring it to you.

Okay.

- Okay?

Is this Solitaire?

So, did you get her back

yet or what?

Working on it.

Hey, maybe you should

write a book.

- What?

Well, you know, Henry Miller

said the best way

to get over a woman...

is to turn her into literature.

Well, that guy had

a lot more sex than me.

Oh, this is it! This is it!

So great to hear from you.

I can't this week, but maybe next?

I hope this means

you're ready to be friends.

Yeah, that's it. That is it.

Your girl is losing it.

Can you just be serious,

for just a second?

I am being totally serious.

- No, you're joking around.

No, I am not joking around.

"Octopus's Garden"?

Yes, "Octopus's Garden"

is the best Beatles song

ever recorded.

Why don't you just say "Piggies"?

Come on. I love Ringo Starr!

Nobody loves Ringo Starr.

- That's what I love about him.

No, no.

Ooh, this looks good.

Gets really good reviews.

You know what?

That looks pretty doable.

Why are you asking me now?

- Because this was your idea.

Put your hand there.

- Wait one second.

Okay. Three, two, one!

- One.

Yeah, the street level

isn't so exciting, but-

Like, if you look up-

# Sweet #

# Disposition #

The Fine Arts Building.

The guys who designed this,

Walker and Eisen,

are... two of my favorites.

# Never #

Isn't that cool?

# Too soon ##

This is my favorite spot.

- This is?

This is your favorite spot?

Right here.

How come?

Uh, I don't know.

It's kind of hard to explain,

I guess.

Well, try.

Um- Well, okay.

Like, that building- that's, uh-

That's been there since 1911.

And that- that's the Continental.

That's L.A.'s first skyscraper.

It was built in 1904.

What is that?

That?

That's a parking lot.

- Oh!

Yeah. That's-

That's also a parking lot.

That's, um- Yeah.

There's a lot of beautiful

stuff here too though.

I don't know.

I just... wish people

would notice it more.

If it were me, then, uh-

If it were you what?

I don't know. I think

I'd... make 'em notice.

How would you

make them notice?

I don't know.

There's a lot of different

stuff you could do.

Show me.

Please. I don't know

anything about architecture.

You want me to

draw you something?

- Yeah.

I don't have any paper.

- Well, use my arm.

Please, I need a tattoo.

Well, let's see your arm.

- That's the spirit.

Well, the buildings need

to be integrated better, so-

You could maximize

light capacity here.

It's kind of messy.

That's okay.

For Tom Hansen, this was the night

where everything changed.

That wall Summer

so often hid behind-

the wall of distance, of space, of casual-

that wall was slowly coming down.

For here was Tom, in her world,

a place few had been invited

to see with their own eyes.

And here was Summer,

wanting him there.

Him, no one else.

Have you ever been

in a tornado?

- No.

It's that and

my teeth falling out.

I have that too!

- You do?

Yeah! It's so weird.

It's like being an old man.

What else do you have?

Um, earthquakes?

Really?

- No.

You know, I dream

sometimes about flying.

It starts out like I'm running

really, really fast.

I'm, like, superhuman.

And the terrain starts to get

really rocky and steep.

And then I'm running so fast

that my feet aren't even

touching the ground.

And I'm floating,

and it's like this amazing,

amazing realness.

I'm free. I'm safe.

Then I realize,

I'm completely alone.

And then I wake up.

As he listened, Tom began to realize...

that these weren't stories

routinely told.

These were stories

one had to earn.

He could feel the wall coming down.

He wondered if anyone else

had made it this far.

Which is why the next six words

changed everything.

I've never told anybody

that before.

I guess I'm not just anybody.

So what are you exactly?

I don't know.

Are you her boyfriend?

It's not that simple.

- Sure, it is.

What, like, are we going steady?

- Come on, guys.

You know, we're- we're adults.

We know how we feel.

We don't need

to put labels on it.

I mean,

"boyfriend," "girlfriend."

All that stuff is-

It's really juvenile.

You sound gay.

You really do.

Okay, first of all,

your last girlfriend

was Amy Sussman

in the seventh grade,

and you dated

for, like, three hours.

And you-

you've been with Robyn

since what- like 1998?

'97.

- '97. See-

Shoot.

I don't think the two of you

are exactly authorities

on modern relationships.

So, what should I do?

- You should ask her.

What?

Well, why rock the boat,

is what I'm thinking.

I mean,

things are going well.

You start putting labels on it,

that's like the kiss of death.

It's like saying, "I love you."

- Yeah, I know what you mean.

That's what happened

between me and Sean.

Who the hell's Sean?

- My boyfriend before Mark.

Who the- never mind.

So, what you're saying-

I'm saying you do

want to ask her.

It's obvious.

You're just afraid you'll get

an answer you don't want,

which will shatter

all the illusions of how great

these past few months have been.

Now look, if it were me,

I'd find out now before you

show up at her place...

and, well, she's in bed

with Lars from Norway.

Who's Lars from Norway?

Just some guy

she met at the gym...

with Brad Pitt's face

and Jesus' abs.

Wait! No, Coach.

We're not done here.

Rachel!

- Look, it's easy, Tom.

Just don't be a pussy.

You okay?

Yeah.

- You sure?

Summer,

I gotta ask you something.

What?

- What are we, um-

What are we doing?

- I thought we were going

to the movies.

Yeah. Nah, I mean, like,

what are we, like-

What's going on here, with us?

I don't know.

Who cares?

I'm happy. Aren't you happy?

- Yeah.

Good.

London, 1964.

Those girls knew how to dress.

Nowadays, it's all

these giant sunglasses...

and tattoos.

It's handbags with

little dogs in them.

Who okayed this?

Some people like it.

I like how you dress.

I was thinking about

getting a butterfly tattoo

about yea big on my ankle.

No.

Oh.

Yo.

How's it going?

Uh, okay.

You live around here?

Um, yeah, not too far.

I've never

seen you here before.

You're not too observant.

That's funny. You're funny.

So let me buy you a drink.

- No, Thank you.

You with this guy?

- Hey, I'm Tom.

Whatever.

So, come on. One drink.

What are you drinking?

I said no, thanks.

You're serious? This guy?

Hey, buddy-

You know what?

Don't be rude.

I'm flattered,

but I'm not interested.

So why don't you go over there

and leave us alone? Thanks.

It's a free country.

I can't believe

this is your boyfriend.

What are you doing?

It was really just a crazy thing.

It happened like-

It felt like it happened

fast, but really,

it- it also felt like it

was happening really slowly,

like everything all was just-

I don't know. It doesn't

feel like you think it would-

Hey, what's the matter?

I just- I can't believe you.

You can't believe me?

You were so completely,

completely uncool in there.

Wait. Are you mad at me?

I just got my ass kicked for you.

Oh, really? Was that for me?

Was that for my benefit?

Yes, it was.

Okay, well, next time don't,

'cause I don't need your help.

You know what?

I'm really tired.

Can we talk about this tomorrow?

No. You know what?

I'm not going anywhere

till you tell me what's going on.

Nothing's going on.

We're just-

What? We're just what?

We're just friends.

- No! Don't pull that with me!

Don't even try to-

This is not how

you treat your friend.

Kissing in the copy room?

Holding hands in IKEA?

Shower sex? Come on!

Friends, my balls!

I like you, Tom.

I just don't want a relationship-

Well, you're not the only one

that gets a say in this!

I do too! And I say we're

a couple, goddamn it!

After you, please.

I shouldn't have done that.

Done what?

- Gotten mad at you.

I'm sorry.

Look, we don't have to

put a label on it.

That's fine. I get it.

But, you know, I just-

I need some consistency.

I know.

I need to know that

you're not gonna wake up

in the morning...

and... feel differently.

And I can't give you that.

Nobody can.

That hurt? I'm sorry.

No, it doesn't hurt.

I like you.

All right.

# You loved her

You were kissing #

Shh. well, what about you?

- Did you ever even

have a boyfriend?

Well, of course.

- Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, tell me about them.

No.

- Oh? why not?

Because it's not important.

I'm interested.

All right. Fine.

You want to go there?

Yeah. I can take it.

- Fine.

So-

Well, in high school

there was Markus.

Quarterback-slash-homecoming king?

No. He was a rower.

He was very hot.

For a brief time in college

there was, um- there was Charlie.

She was nice, but-

And then there was

my semester in Sienna.

Fernando Belardelli.

Also known as "The Puma."

- The Puma?

- Yeah, The Puma, 'cause, you know.

So-

Oh, that's it?

- The ones that lasted, yeah.

What happened? Why-

Why didn't they work out?

What always happens. Life.

That's the dumbest thing

I've ever heard.

No, it's not.

- It's awesome. Trust me.

I'm serious.

I'll go first.

Penis.

Penis.

Penis!

Penis!

Penis!

There's kids around.

There are no kids around.

Penis!

Penis!

You having fun?

- Yeah.

This is the kind of thing

you did with The Puma, isn't it?

Oh, we rarely left the room.

Penis!

Sorry. Tourette's.

You know how it is.

Penis!

She has it too. Penis!

Penis!

Shh. Everyone's

looking over here.

- I'm done. I'm done.

Are you done?

- I'm done.

You're done?

- Yeah.

This is too much.

- Unleash me. I'm done.

Promise?

- I promise.

I promise.

Penis!

It's very complex.

- Mmm.

In a way, it sort of, like,

says... so much...

by...

saying so little.

Do you want to go to the movies?

- Yep.

Suffering.

So much suffering.

Suffering.

Suffering.

T-Tom?

Mr. Vance would like to

see you in his office.

Tom.

Have a seat.

Has something happened

to you recently?

What do you mean?

A death in the family,

someone taken ill-

Anything like that.

No.

Look, I don't mean to pry, but...

does this have something to do

with Summer leaving?

Who?

My assistant.

Your, um-

Tom, everyone knows.

Never mind.

The reason I'm asking is,

lately your work performance...

has been... a little off.

I'm not following.

- Okay.

Um, here's something

that you wrote last week.

Uh, "Roses are red,

violets are blue.

Fuck you, whore."

Now, most shoppers

at Valentine's Day-

Mr. Vance, are you firing me?

- No. No.

Relax, Hansen.

You're one of the good ones.

Okay. Uh, yeah, I'm sorry.

Things have been a little difficult.

That's okay. I completely

understand that.

I'm just saying

that perhaps you could

channel those energies,

um, into something like this.

Funerals and sympathy.

Misery, sadness, loss of faith,

no reason to live.

This is perfect for you.

Uh-

- Good. okay.

Now back to work you go.

Thank you.

Hey.

- Hey.

Don't you have, like,

20 cards to write by Friday?

- Nope. All done.

Really? Can you help me?

'Cause I've run out of ways

to say "congrats."

Okay. I got "Good job,"

"Well done" and "Way to go."

That's it.

How 'bout, "Every day

you make me proud,

but today you get a card."

Shit, that's good!

- I know.

Have you tried "Merry"?

Wow! That's perfect! Merry!

- Wow!

We've been stuck on this

for an hour.

Hmm. How about...

"I love us"?

Aw.

I hate Summer.

I hate her crooked teeth.

I hate her 1960s haircut.

I hate her knobby knees.

And I hate her cockroach-shaped

splotch on her neck.

I hate the way she smacks her lips

before she talks.

And I hate the way she sounds

when she laughs.

# She's like the wind #

I hate this song!

Son, you're gonna

have to exit the vehicle.

I normally don't do blind dates,

but Paul and Robyn spoke

very highly of you.

Ah.

- They said you write

greeting cards.

That's so interesting.

I wanted to write.

I actually majored

in English in college,

but what are you gonna do

with that degree?

I went to Brown.

Where did you go?

- Alison.

Hmm?

Listen, it's great to meet you,

and... you're a very attractive girl.

I just wanted to say up front

that this isn't-

It's not gonna go anywhere.

- Oh.

I liked this girl.

I mean, I loved her.

What does she do?

She took a giant shit

on my face.

Literally.

- Literally?

Not literally.

That's disgusting. Jesus.

What's the matter with you?

The point is,

I'm messed up. I am.

You know, on the one hand,

I want to forget her.

On the other hand,

I know that she's the only person

in the entire universe

that will make me happy.

Mm-hmm.

- You ever do this?

You think back on the times

you had with someone, replay it

in your head over and over again,

and you look for those

first signs of trouble.

There's two options really.

Either... she's an evil,

emotionless,

miserable human being,

or... she's a robot.

Small Wonder.

- You know, Vicki.

That would explain

a lot actually.

- Can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

- She never cheated on you?

No. Never.

- She ever take advantage

of you in any way?

No.

And she told you up front

that she didn't want a boyfriend.

Yeah.

I got a great idea.

# Well, some things

you can explain away #

# But my heartache's in me

every day #

# Did you stand by me

No, not at all #

# Di- ##

Oh, fine! Go!

That's fine. See ya.

Waste of time.

You don't look anything

like Summer.

Now departing on Track 2,

Pacific Surfliner.

Full service to Santa Barbara.

All aboard, please.

Hey, baby.

- Hey, you here?

Hell no.

- What do you mean,

"Hell no"?

I'm not going to that.

- Yes, you are.

No, man. It's gonna be

all old people.

Yeah, but you said you were going.

That's why I'm going.

And that's why

I called her last night,

told her I was sick.

Like a ninja.

Dude! I'm gonna- I'm not gonna

know anybody at this thing.

Maybe you'll meet

some hot granddaughters

or something.

I'm hanging up now.

Bye, baby.

May I have your attention, please?

Passengers boarding the train

in Los Angeles, please...

have your tickets out

and ready for collection.

Hi, Tom!

Hey. Summer.

I must have walked right by you.

- Yeah.

Well, um, what are you doing?

Are you going to Millie's?

Me too.

Cool.

- I forgot you knew her.

- Yeah, we worked together

all that time, so-

of course.

I love Millie.

She's the sweetest.

She is.

- How are you?

- I'm good.

Good. I- I wrote to you.

I never heard back, but-

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that.

I- I just, you know-

It got kind of crazy,

and the holidays came up,

so work was-

You still working for Vance?

Yeah.

Well, I was gonna go get a coffee

if you wanna-

"The Architecture of Happiness."

Yeah.

- That looks like a good book.

Yeah, it's-

Well, I don't want to bother you.

- No, no. I, um-

Yeah, let's get coffee.

After you.

# Sweet #

# Disposition #

# Never#

# Too soon #

# A moment, a love

A dream aloud #

# A kiss, a cry

our rights, our wrongs #

You look nice.

- Thanks.

So do you.

# Sweet #

Well?

# Disposition ##

Penis.

No.

I now pronounce you

husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

# Helping the kids out of their coats #

# Wait, the babies haven't been born #

# Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh #

# Unpacking the bags and setting up #

# And planting lilacs and buttercups #

Okay. what else you got?

Well, you snore.

- No, I don't.

You do.

- No, I don't.

Yeah.

- Well, you do too.

Oh, I definitely do.

And your feet reek.

That one time!

- No, every time.

That one time!

No.

That one time especially,

but every time.

And when you wake up,

your hair, it sticks up like that.

It's ridiculous.

- You're ridiculous.

Your favorite Beatle is Ringo.

Damn right!

Ringo's the best.

- Ringo is-

Goose!

Oh! oh! oh!

Man! He's fast. Damn! All right.

You got me. Duck.

Duck.

# At last #

# My love has come along #

# My lonely days are over #

One, two, three.

# And life is like a song #

Wanna dance?

- Yeah.

Okay.

# Oh, at last #

# The skies above are blue #

Hey, I was wondering, um-

I was gonna maybe have

a party on Friday, um,

on our roof top that has,

like, a really nice garden,

if you want to come.

Yeah.

# for you are mine #

If you're not busy.

# At last #

I don't think I will be.

They're good, huh?

- They are good.

I guess I just got lucky.

Um, we met in elementary school.

In seventh grade

we had the same class schedule,

and, uh,

we just clicked, you know?

Love?

Shit, I don't know.

As long as she's cute

and she's willing, right?

I'm flexible on the cute, so-

Twenty-one years.

She's the light that guides me home.

Yes, that is from one of our cards.

No. Someone else wrote it.

Doesn't make it less true.

I think technically

the "girl of my dreams"...

would probably have, like,

a really bodacious rack, you know.

Maybe different hair.

Probably-

You know, she'd probably be

a little more into sports.

But, um, truthfully,

Robyn's- Robyn's better

than the girl of my dreams.

She's real.

# He never, ever saw it coming at all #

# Never, ever saw it coming at all #

Tom walked to her apartment,

intoxicated by the promise of the evening.

# It's all right

It's all right #

He believed that this time...

his expectations would align with reality.

# It's all right #

# Hey, open wide

Here comes original sin #

Hi.

- Hey.

# Hey, open wide

Here comes original sin #

You look nice.

Yeah. Thanks.

I like your tie. Wow!

- Hi.

How you doing?

- Good. How are you?

Good.

# It's all right

It's all right #

# It's all right

It's all right, it's all right #

# It's all right #

# No one's got it all #

I, um, brought you something.

# No one's got it all #

That's so nice.

# No one's got it all #

Thank you.

You shouldn't have.

That's so nice.

It's the-

Thank you so much.

- No problem.

I'm excited to read it.

- Yeah.

Come on.

# And we're going to these meetings #

- So, Tom, what is it that you do?

- Uh, I write greeting cards.

Tom could be

a really great architect

if he wanted to be.

That's unusual.

I mean, what made you go

from one to the other?

I guess I just figured,

why make something disposable,

like a building,

when you can make something

that lasts forever, like a greeting card?

# It's all right

It's all right #

# It's all right

It's all right #

What?

# It's all right #

# No one's got it all #

Do you guys

know each other?

# No one's got it all #

# Power to the people

We don't want it #

# we want pleasure

And the TVs try to rape us #

# And I guess that they're succeeding #

# And we're going to these meetings #

# But we're not doing any meeting #

# And we're trying to be faithful #

# But we're cheating

cheating, cheating #

# I'm the hero of the story

Don't need to be saved #

# It's all right #

# It's all right

It's all right, it's all right #

# It's all right

It's all right #

# It's all right

It's all right, it's all right #

# It's all right

It's all right #

# No one's got it all #

# All, all #

# All, all ##

# Hung up and bent on a stranger #

#Just trying to swing a full-time ride #

# I never knew the cold hand of danger #

# Till I met this one and took it inside #

# Now I can't get near it #

Get a room! Really.

# Don't want to hear it #

# My cover's blown #

# I walked in the rain like a drone #

# All the way to Marquette #

# The infinite pet #

# Oh, no #

# No, no, no, no, no #

# Cheaper than all your threats #

# No, no ##

Shit.

I've been calling you

every five minutes.

Are you okay?

I'm great.

- What happened to you?

I don't wanna talk about it.

- You always wanna

talk about it.

Not this.

- Okay. well, come on.

Let's go.

Where are we going?

- It's Thursday!

This one says, "Go for it!"

And this one says,

"You can do it!"

We have a whole line

of inspirational photographic cards...

featuring Pickles, my cat.

I think people will really enjoy them.

- Thank you.

- Good job, Rhoda.

That's inspirational stuff.

Okay. Who's next?

We haven't heard from

Sympathy in a while.

Hansen?

- Yeah?

The Winter Collection?

Do you have anything

to contribute?

Uh, no.

I really don't.

Okay.

We'll come back to you.

Uh, McKenzie?

Actually, you know what?

- Yes, Tom?

Can I say something about the cat?

- Well, okay.

Yeah, uh, this is-

And, Rhoda, no disrespect here,

but, um, this is total shit.

Tom!

"Go for it" and "You can do it"?

That's not inspirational.

That's suicidal.

If Pickles goes for it right there,

that's a dead cat.

These are lies. we're liars.

Think about it.

Why do people buy these things?

It's not 'cause they want

to say how they feel.

People buy cards 'cause

they can't say how they feel,

or they're afraid to.

We provide the service

that lets them off the hook.

You know what?

I say, to hell with it!

Let's level with America.

At least let them speak

for themselves! Right?

I mean, look! What- what is this?

What does it say?

"Congratulations

on your new baby." Right?

How 'bout, "Congratulations

on your new baby.

- That's it for hanging out.

Nice knowing you."

- Sit down, Hansen.

How 'bout this one, with all

the pretty hearts on the front?

I know where this is going. Yep!

"Happy Valentine's Day,

sweetheart. I love you."

That sweet? Ain't love grand?

This is exactly

what I'm talking about.

What does that even mean, "love"?

Do you know? Do you? Anybody?

Tom.

If somebody gave me this card,

Mr. Vance, I would eat it.

It's- It's these cards,

and the movies, and the pop songs-

They're to blame for all the lies...

and the heartache, everything.

And we're responsible.

I'm responsible.

I think we do a bad thing here.

People should be able

to say how they feel-

how they really feel-

not, you know, some words

that some strangers

put in their mouths.

Words like "love"...

that don't mean anything.

Sorry. I'm sorry. I, uh-

I quit. I'm-

There's enough bullshit

in the world without my help.

All right. Next we do running drills.

Hey, you're sketching again.

Yeah, well, just doodling.

Okay, Tom. we got 20 seconds.

Talk to me. You okay?

Yeah, I'm good. I'm great.

You know, my friends

are all in love with you.

You know, it's like we said.

Plenty of other fish in the sea.

- Thanks.

But, uh, those are guppies.

Yeah.

Hey, Tom?

- Mmm.

Look, I know you think

that she was the one,

but I don't.

Now, I think you're just

remembering the good stuff.

Next time you look back, I, uh-

I really think

you should look again.

It's playing at 5:00.

Do you wanna see it?

Um, I don't know.

We could just go back

to your place or-

No, I really want to see it.

Let's go.

# Time it was and what a time it was #

# It was #

# A time of innocence #

# A time of confidences #

You okay?

- Yeah.

What- what is it?

The movie?

It's nothing. I'm just-

I'm just being stupid.

Yeah?

- Yeah.

# Preserve your memories

They're all that's left you ##

It pains me we live in a world...

where nobody's heard

of Spearmint.

I've never heard of them.

- I put 'em on that mix

I made you.

They're track one.

Oh, yeah.

So, what do you wanna do?

I think I'm just gonna

call it a day.

You don't wanna

get some dinner?

Are you hungry?

You all right?

I'm just tired.

- Okay.

I got it. Pancakes!

# oh, girl, I don't know

all the reasons why #

# I found the answer

looking in your eye #

# I go out walking all day long #

# Take away this lonely man

Soon he will be gone #

# 'Cause I'll tell you everything #

# About living free #

# Yes, I can see you, girl #

# Can you see me #

# You don't need to know

what I do all day #

# It's as much as I know

watch it waste away #

# 'Cause I'll tell you everything #

# About living free #

# Yes, I can see you, girl #

# Can you see me #

# 'Cause I'll tell you everything #

# About being free ##

Hey, Tom.

I thought I might see you here.

I always loved this place,

ever since you brought me.

So I, uh-

I guess I should say

congratulations.

Only if you mean it.

Ah. Well, in that case-

So, are you okay?

I will be, eventually.

You wanna-

- Hmm.

I like your suit.

- Ah, thanks.

You look sharp.

So do you.

Thanks.

I quit the office.

- You did?

I didn't know. That's great!

And you, um-

you're married.

Yeah. It's crazy, huh?

You should have told me

when we were at the-

I know.

You know, at the wedding

when we were dancing.

Well, he hadn't asked me yet.

But he was in your life.

Yeah.

- So why'd you dance with me?

'Cause I wanted to.

You just do what you want,

don't you?

You never wanted to be

anybody's girlfriend,

and now you're somebody's wife.

Surprised me too.

I don't think I'll ever

understand that.

I mean,

it doesn't make sense.

It just happened.

Right, but that's what

I don't understand.

What just happened?

I just- I just woke up one day,

and I knew.

Knew what?

What I was never sure of with you.

You know what sucks?

Realizing that everything

you believe in is complete

and utter bullshit.

It sucks.

- What do you mean?

Uh, you know, destiny,

and soul mates, and true love,

and all that childhood

fairy tale nonsense.

You were right.

I- I should have listened to you.

No.

- Yeah. what?

What are you smiling at?

Tom.

- What?

What are you looking at me

like that for?

Well, you know,

I guess it's 'cause...

I was sitting in a deli

and reading Dorian Gray

and... a guy comes up to me...

and asked me about it,

and... now he's my husband.

Yeah. And... so?

So, what if I'd gone to the movies?

What if I had gone

somewhere else for lunch?

What if I'd gotten there

10 minutes later?

It was-

It was meant to be.

And I just kept thinking,

Tom was right.

- No.

Yeah, I did.

I did.

It just wasn't me

that you were right about.

I should go.

But I'm really happy to see

that you're doing well.

Summer!

I really do hope

that you're happy.

Most days of the year

are unremarkable.

They begin and they end...

with no lasting memories

made in between.

Most days have no impact...

on the course of a life.

May 23 was a Wednesday.

Are you interviewing?

- Sorry?

Are you interviewing

for the position?

Oh, yeah. why? Are you?

- Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

My competition.

It would appear.

Yeah. So, a little awkward.

Yeah.

Well, I hope you, um,

don't get the job.

Well, I hope you

don't get the job.

Have I seen you before?

Me? I don't think so.

Do you ever go

to Angelus Plaza?

Yes. That's, like,

my favorite spot in the city.

Yeah. Okay. Except for

the parking lots, but-

Yeah. I- I agree.

- Yeah, yeah.

I think I've seen you there.

- Really?

Yeah.

- I haven't seen you.

You must not

have been looking.

If Tom had learned anything,

it was that you can't ascribe

great cosmic significance...

to a simple earthly event.

Coincidence.

That's all anything ever is.

Nothing more than coincidence.

Tom Hansen.

- Yeah.

Come on back.

- Thank you.

Tom had finally learned

there are no miracles.

There's no such thing as fate.

Nothing is meant to be.

He knew. He was sure of it now.

Tom was-

- Sorry. Um-

I just left, uh-

Can I- one second.

He was pretty sure.

- Hey.

- You again.

Yeah. I, uh, was just wondering...

if maybe after this, if, um, you-

you want to get some coffee

or something.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sort of supposed to

meet someone after this.

Okay.

Sure.

What's that?

Why not?

Okay. Well, then I'll just, uh-

I'll wait for you-

We- We'll figure it out.

We'll figure it out.

- My name's Tom.

- Nice to meet you. I'm Autumn.

# She's got you high

and you don't even know yet #

# She's got you high

and you don't even know yet #

# The sun's in the sky

It's warming up your bare legs #

# And you can't deny

you're looking for the sunset #

# She's got you high

and you don't even know yet #

# It's the search for the time

before it leaves without you #

# Have you lost your mind

or has she taken all of yours too #

# What's this about

I figured love would shine through #

# We've lost romance

This world, its turns will see you through #

# open your mind

Believe it's gonna come true #

# Keep romance alive

and hope she's gonna tell you #

# What's this about

I figured love would shine through #

# We've lost romance

This world, its turns will see you through #

# open your mind

Believe it's gonna come true #

# Keep romance alive

and hope she's gonna tell you #

# She's got you high

and you don't even know yet #

# The sun's in the sky

It makes for happy endings #

# You can't deny

you want a happy ending #

# What's this about

I figured love would shine through #

# We've lost romance

This world, its turns will see you through #

# open your mind

Believe it's gonna come true #

# Keep romance alive

and hope she's gonna tell you #

# She's got you high #

# What's this about

I figured love would shine through #

# We've lost romance

This world, its turns will see you through #

# open your mind

Believe it's gonna come true #

# Keep romance alive

and hope she's gonna tell you #

# What's this about

I figured love would shine through #

# We've lost romance

This world, its turns will see you through #

# open your mind

Believe it's gonna come true #

# Keep romance alive

and hope she's gonna tell you #

# She's got you high ##

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