4 Clowns (1970) - full transcript

(dramatic intro music)

- [Narrator] In 1900,
when these films were made

along New York's Fifth Avenue,
two newly-born inventions

were just beginning to
shape and expand our lives,

the automobile and the motion picture.

(celebratory music)

We are traveling up turn
of the century Broadway,

a street already world famous
for its swank restaurants,

legitimate theaters, and electric lights.

The first movie houses
were not to be found here,

but on the side streets.



The Lowly Nickelodeon
catered to the common man,

and from the beginning, comedy was king.

As one showman pointed out,

"You can get an onion to make you cry,

"but nobody has discovered a
vegetable to make you laugh."

Films had to be hand-cranked
by the weary projectionist.

In this early French comedy,

someone steals into the Paris Conservatory

and makes the great master clock run fast,

which speeds up time
everywhere in the city.

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(cancan music)

(upbeat quirky music)



(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(cancan music)

(woman screeching)

What a difference two decades made.

This is Fifth Avenue in the 1920s.

The automobile had driven
the horse from the street

to the racetrack.

And this is Broadway and
evolution through the roaring

'20s as it might've been viewed if we were

writing H. G. Wells's "Time Machine."

It's 1920, Marion Davies
is playing at the Globe.

Stage attractions still
dominate the Great White Way,

like "Cinderella on Broadway"
at the Winter Garden.

1921, "Midnight" "Photoplays"
and Chalmers underwear.

1923, the cast of the "Ziegfeld Follies"

includes Fanny Brice, Bert
Wheeler and Paul Whiteman.

In 1924, Broadway offers
onstage the Marx Brothers,

Fred Astaire, and Will Rogers.

1925, on screen Lon Chaney is
in the "Phantom of the Opera."

In 1926 May West makes headlines
when her show is closed

and she is sentenced to jail.

The moving sign above the
Capitol Theater in the distance

proclaims, Erich von
Stroheim's production,

"The Merry Widow" starting
Mae Murray and John Gilbert.

At the Astor, "The Big
Parade" is in its second year.

As 1926 ends, "Beau Geste"
starting Ronald Coleman

is that the Criterion.

In 1927, the Criterion
features "Old Ironsides"

with Wallace Beery and Charles Farrell.

Also in 1927 signs for
the "Student Prince"

and for Cecil de Mille "King of Kings"

light up the Broadway sky.

1928, "White Shadows in the South Seas,"

"Lost in the Arctic" and the contest

to find new kids for "Our Gang" comedy.

1929, silent films and the
prosperous '20s bow out together.

The lights of Broadway
take on a special glow

before the depression
dims them and World War II

blacks them out.

The sign for the part talkie "Noah's Ark"

combines electric bulbs and
clouds of steam in a display

stretching almost a block.

Movie theaters had progressed
from shabby Nickelodeon

to shining palace.

The old hand crank
projectionist was only a memory.

Through these early
movie years Oliver Hardy,

first of our four clowns
played a part in the growth

of silent comedy from rough
beginnings to what many today

consider a lost art.

Here he supports Billy
West whose impersonation

of Charlie Chaplin was
so exact it was uncanny.

(upbeat quirky music)

The girl is Leatrice Joy.

(dramatic music)

Enter a sissy, he's Billy Quirk,

the film comedy pioneer once
leading man to Mary Pickford.

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(mellow quirky music)

(claps hands)

(mellow quirky music)

(sizzling quirky music)

(tinkly quirky music)

(mellow quirky music)

(dramatic music)

Oliver falls for Leatrice and invites her

to the Barbers Ball where
trouble develops at once

and Billy West proves that
when his body is in action

it's almost impossible to tell him apart

from Charlie Chaplin's little friend.

(upbeat quirky music)

(feet stomping on the ground)

The police arrive, they're
looking for a bay rum addict

with a mustache.

(daunting quirky music)

(dramatic music)
(feet stomping)

(slow quirky music)

In "The Hobo," Charlie, I mean, Billy

has just collected a big reward.

It looks like he's also won the girl from

young Oliver Hardy, here minus mustache.

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(car door bangs)

(engine whirring)

(dramatic music)

As every movie goer of 1917
expected, the romantic tables

are turned so that Billy
can give us a typical

Charlie Chaplin pathos ending.

(mellow music)

(sorrowful music)

10 years later in "No
Man's Law," an offbeat

Hal Roach Western of
1927, Oliver Hardy plays

the grubby villain, Sharkey Nye.

The girl he's leering at
his lovely Barbara Kent.

The other prong of this
triangle is the girl's

guardian stallion, Rex the Wonder Horse.

(dramatic music)

Running through the woods, Barbara Kent

will remind some moviegoers
of Hedy Lamarr in "Ecstasy"

made a decade after this.

But don't be concerned, Barbara is wearing

a flesh-colored bathing suit.

This is still a family picture.

(anticipatory music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(leering music)

(dramatic music)

(horse neighing)

(dramatic music)

(intense music)

(horse neighing)

(horse neighing)

Barbara orders Rex let Hardy alone,

she shouldn't have.

After a few kicks for good measure,

the sensitive stallion
retires to the upper ridges

leaving unprotected our
waif of the wasteland.

(dramatic music)

(intense music)

(Barbara screaming)

(Barbara screaming)

(Barbara screaming)

(door banging)

(horse neighing)

(quirky music)

(door bangs)

(dramatic music)

(Barbara screaming)

(Barbara screaming)

(Barbara thuds on the ground)

(door bangs)

(dramatic music)

(chair crashes into the door)

(horse neighing)

Hardy wants to play house.

Rex is determined there'll
be no house left to play in.

This kind of thing could be
hard on a villain's nerves.

(bowl crashes)

(wood panels banging)

(dramatic music)

(Rex smashing wooden panels)

(Rex smashing wooden panels)

Hardy retreats, Rex,
forecloses the mortgage.

(light upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(Rex neighing)

(quirky music)

(bumbling music)

The second of our four
clowns is Stan Laurel.

Before teaming with Oliver
Hardy and perfecting

the character of Oliver's
beloved, dimwitted friend,

Stan often played brash
go getters like this

patent medicine salesman
and bird impersonator.

(Laurel chirping)

(light tinkly music)

(dramatic music)

(window bangs shut)

(upbeat quirky music)

(foot crushing in the door)

(upbeat mischievous music)

(drum roll music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(door slams)

On a corner nearby, happy
Harry, yesterday's playboy

in need refreshment.

Watch those elevators shoes.

(whimsical music)

Harry is beset by a government agent

in this bygone age of prohibition.

(whimsical music)

(agent thuds on the ground)

(anticipatory music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

The warden discovers he
has visitors in the carpet.

(upbeat quirky music)

It's worse than mice or moths.

It's tunneling convict Oliver Hardy,

and his burrowing cellmate Stan Laurel.

This Hal Roach comedy,
"The Second 100 Years"

was the first official
"Laurel and Hardy" release.

(dramatic music)

(mischievous music)

(dramatic music)

(mischievous music)

(light upbeat music)

To masterful Oliver
Hardy signs mean nothing.

He demonstrates that to be a successful

Christmas tree salesman
in sunny California

you have to be both
persistent and hard-headed.

(quirky music)

(door slams)

(mischievous music)

(dramatic music)

(door slams)

Mistaken for visiting royalty,

Laurel and Hardy register in style.

Actually Stanley and Oliver
who were always starting

new jobs are reporting as doormen

from the bottom of the labor barrel.

(upbeat quirky music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

Quickly reduced to their proper station,

Stan and Ollie become
involved in a monetary crisis.

(mischievous music)

Oliver Hardy versus the law.

(quirky music)

(quirky music)

(bumbling music)

(mischievous music)

(bumbling music)

Oliver has a terrible time getting

skittish, Scotch nephew, Stanley,

fitted for a pair of pants.

"Really?"

(Scottish bagpipe music)

(whimsical music)

(dramatic bagpipe music)

(whimsical music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(whimsical music)

(dramatic music)

(mischievous music)

Oliver vows he'll get those measurements

no matter what the consequences.

(bumbling music)

(curtains swish)

(upbeat playful music)

(dramatic music)
(feet thudding on ground)

The consequences.

(dramatic music)

(Hardy sighs)

Betrayed.

(despondent music)

(sad music)

Laurel and Hardy two tires
on surely and shipwrecked.

(pitiful music)

(lamp crashing on Hardy's head)

(bumbling music)

(engine revs)
(upbeat music)

The gum machine won't work,
neither will Thelma and Ruby.

Demure damsels in
distress always bring out

the devil-may-care romantic
side of Stanley and Oliver.

(mischievous music)

(lively playful music)

(dramatic music)

(mischievous music)

(Stanley slapping Oliver's hand)

(lively music)

(mischievous music)

(dramatic music)

(mischievous music)

(gums knocking on the glass)

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(mischievous music)

"Pick them up," says Stanley,

"put them in here."

(forlorn music)

Enter shopkeeper Charlie Hall,

Laurel and Hardy's eternal opponent.

(daunting music)

(whimsical music)

"Just cleaning things
up," explains Oliver.

(upbeat quirky music)

Thelma commands, "Go help your shipmate."

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(whimsical music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(Stanley thuds on the ground)

(Stanley thuds on the ground)

(Stanley thuds on the ground)

(Stanley thuds on the ground)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(Stanley thuds on the ground)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(Charlie groans)

(upbeat quirky music)

(Stand crashes on the ground)

(car engine revving)

(sorrowful music)
(Charlie crashes on ground)

This 1928 Hal Roach comedy,

"Their Purple Moment"
was dedicated to husbands

who to hold out part of their
pay envelope on their wives

and live to tell about it.

(lively music)

Stanley hides his loot in a
portrait of uncle (indistinct),

a natural place to store money.

Because he couldn't take it with him,

uncle (indistinct) wouldn't go.

(quirky music)

Guests arrive, friend
Oliver and Mrs. Hardy.

(quirky music)

(door bangs)

(quirky music)

(mischievous music)

Mrs. Laurel replaces Stan's
money with cigar coupons,

the trading stamps of their day.

(mischievous music)

Hardy's wife is a bloodhound,

the most money he gets to
keep is 5 cents carfare

and he has to show the transfer.

But Laurel explains he's a
weasel with a hiding place,

even a wife couldn't find.

(upbeat quirky music)

Oliver, the financial advisor,

has one-way pockets marked out.

Naturally, he knows just the
way to spend Stanley savings.

(dramatic music)

The town gossip.

(mischievous music)

"Fine day for mischief
observes," Mrs. Fisheye,

"Let's go," says Oliver.

(mischievous music)

(mischievous music)

(mischievous music)

(mischievous music)

(mischievous music)

Two guys who couldn't pay the
bill are expelled from Eden,

the Cafe Eden that is.

They're followed by the girlfriends

they left with the check,
Kay Deslys and Anita Garvin,

a pair of roving debutantes.

(dramatic music)

(cheeky music)

(quirky music)

(mischievous music)

(upbeat music)

Oliver's solves it all,
they'll assume responsibility.

The age of chivalry lives
on down to the last dollar

Stanley thinks he has.

(mischievous music)

(Stanley and women crashing on the ground)

(upbeat quirky music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat music)

(Stanley and woman crashing on the ground)

(upbeat music)

(quirky music)

(mellow music)

(water whooshes in glass)

(whimsical music)

(upbeat music)

(quirky music)

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

"Cigar coupons?"

(dramatic music)

"Put it on the check," says Stanley.

(dramatic music)

(door bangs)

(quirky music)

A taxi driver joins the party,

the girls who believe in
instant transportation

left him outside with a clock running.

In 1928, there wasn't a
man living who could lift

the stuff you could buy with
the amount on that meter.

"Sit down, have a steak,"
says good-time Oliver.

(dramatic music)

(panicky music)

(upbeat music)

(worrisome music)

(drum roll music)

(quirky music)

Oliver's suggest a fast
exit, the tippy toe route.

(daunting music)

(quirky music)

(waiter crashes on ground)

(quirky music)

(upbeat music)

(guests clapping)

(anticipatory music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat music)
(guests clapping)

"Wait till this number's
over," request Hardy.

(upbeat music)

(quirky music)

(waiter crashes on the ground)

(quirky music)

(anticipatory music)

(woman splashes in the pothole)

(dramatic music)

From a nightmare to grim reality,

from a skirmish to Armageddon,
here come the wives.

(upbeat music)

(woman banging on table)

The head waiter played
by Tiny Sandford is back,

this time he'll either see green or red.

(quirky music)

(digital whistling music)

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(people thudding on the ground)

(dramatic music)

(waiter crashes on the ground)

(dramatic music)

(door banging)

At this moment of crisis Oliver announces

he has an idea.

(dramatic music)

(feet thudding on floor)

(quirky music)

"Tell them your idea Ollie," says Stanley.

(quirky music)

"We were heading for the
bowling alley," explains Oliver,

when Stanley dragged
me to this den of vice.

No one has replaced Laurel and Hardy,

just as no one has replaced
Chaplain, Keaton or Fields.

Good comedians have many imitators,

the great clowns stand alone.

(quirky music)

(quirky upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(whimsical music)

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(dish shatters)

(upbeat quirky music)

(waiter crashes on the floor)

(upbeat quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(bumbling music)

(dramatic music)

Our third clown is Charley Chase,

the original good-time Charley

whose elk's tooth had a cavity.

Lindbergh had just flown the Atlantic.

Lucky Lindy referred to
himself and his plane as we

and the term became a household word.

So Charley made a comedy called "Us"

in which he tried to get up courage

to take his first flight.

(airplane engine roaring)
(quirky music)

Says the little old lady,

"It's great, tomorrow
I'll try wing walking."

(quirky music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(quirky music)

Says mother, "Flying soothes
her better than her cradle."

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(man banging on ledge)

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(airplane engine roaring)

(quirky music)
(man sobbing)

(dramatic music)

Says granddad, "It sure
beats (indistinct)."

(upbeat quirky music)

Charley cries, "Nothing
can stop me this time."

Made in 1927, this film
is a memento of a time

not so long ago when dusty car pastures

were transformed into airports,

planes were made of piano
wire, canvas, and plywood,

and the five-minute flight was

one of life's great adventures.

(upbeat quirky music)

(plane wing crashes on the ground)

(quirky music)

(quirky music)

"No refund," yells the
one-man ground crew,

"get in there and fly."

"We've got customers
waiting for that coat."

(upbeat quirky music)

(man thuds on the ground)

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(plane engine roaring)

(upbeat quirky music)

(man clapping hands)

(upbeat quirky music)

(airplane engine roaring)

(upbeat quirky music)

Another daring rescue
ruined by lack of danger.

(mellow music)

The girl he thought he'd
saved is an aviatrix

and Charley's going up at last.

(hopeful music)

(propeller whirring)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(plane engine revs)

(plane engine explodes)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(pilots thudding on the ground)

Charley Chase's life was one
long embarrassing moment.

(upbeat quirky music)

(glass shattering)
(dramatic music)

In "What Price Goofy?"
(indistinct) on the title

of the then current stage
hit "What Price Glory?"

Charlie has been asked to put
up a certain Professor Brown

as house guest.

He has no idea Professor
Brown is a beautiful woman

with Mae Murray type bee-stung lips.

Another visitor Noah
Young, a burglar so busy

his crowbar is suffering
from metal fatigue.

Butler Lucien Littlefield
announces the professors

in the guest room upstairs.

Unsuspecting Charley,
who thinks all professors

are old fogies, decides it's
time to dress for dinner.

On route home Charley's wife,

(dramatic music)

(tinkly music)

(dramatic music)

(tinkly music)

(dramatic music)

(tinkly music)

(dramatic music)

(tinkly music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(tinkly music)

(dramatic music)

(tinkly music)

(door bangs)

(dramatic music)

Mrs. Chase arrives, her sunny disposition

resembles that of a
hyena with a sore nose.

(dramatic music)

Charlie admits the little woman.

While she's accusing him of stepping out,

Noah's stepping in.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Chase calls the professor to dinner.

In his Hal Roach comedies poor
Charley was always innocent,

but he got caught, anyway.

Buddy the terrier is such a bad watchdog

he won't even watch.

Hungry for culture, Noah
stole a cap and gown

before tackling the silverware.

(dramatic music)

The professor misinterprets
Charley's pleading for silence

as some kind of attack.

- [Professor] Help.

(dramatic music)

- [Professor] Help.

Oh!

(dramatic music)

(bag thuds on the ground)

(dramatic music)

- [Narrator] "Who me?

"I'm just taking out the laundry."

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

- Oh!

(women screaming)

(dramatic music)

(intense music)

- [Narrator] In "Fluttering
Hearts" Charley Chase makes

clothes store dummy come alive.

Oliver Hardy is the tipsy victim
who couldn't and shouldn't

believe his eyes.

(upbeat music)

(tinkly music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

"The bugs are bad this
year," observes Oliver.

(dramatic music)

(hand slaps Oliver's cheek)

(dramatic music)

(child hiccups)

On movie night Charley's daughter

played by Edith Fellows
comes down with the hiccups.

Old medicine man Charley
attempts to scare them away.

- Boo!

(child hiccups)

(quirky music)

Boo!

(child hiccups)

(despondent music)

Boo!

(child hiccups)

(despondent music)

(child hiccups)

(child hiccups)

(child hiccups)

(dramatic music)

(Charley shouting)

(child thuds on the ground)

(dramatic music)

- (hiccups) Darn hiccups.

That means no movie tonight.

- The cure is instantaneous.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(lively music)

(cashier hiccups)

More hiccups.

Charlie, the good
Samaritan decides he'll use

the same scare technique
to cure the cashier too.

(cashier hiccups)

(cashier screams)

(dramatic music)

(barton thuds against Charley's head)

(dramatic music)

In "Family Group," Charley's wife and baby

pose for a portrait.

Charley's pea shooting
son is on the window seat,

the photographer is Edgar Kennedy.

(dramatic music)

(balloon bursts)

(dramatic music)

(camera whirring)

(upbeat music)

Without a balloon in the picture
Edgar's camera won't work.

(upbeat music)

(balloon pops)

(upbeat music)

(tinkly music)

(upbeat music)

(balloon pops)

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(balloon pops)

(camera whirring)

Nothing could stop Charley Chase
and his everlasting journey

from bad to worse.

He buys all the balloons just in time

for a California windstorm.

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

"What's holding him up?"

Wonders Gertrude Astor, Charley's wife.

Look.

(dramatic music)

"Goodness," moans Mrs. Chase,

"This never would have happened

"if he'd eaten a heavy breakfast."

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(gun fires)

(upbeat quirky music)

(gun fires)

(man splashes into trench)

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

Viola Richard's car runs
wild in "Limousine Love,"

a Charley Chase misadventure in depth.

(upbeat quirky music)

Viola's unhurt but her
flaming youth got all damp.

She spots and empty limousine.

Cars of the '20s with
shades and cut glass vases

made perfect dressing rooms.

In today's model you'd have a
hard time dressing a midget.

(upbeat quirky music)

Meanwhile, Charley, the limousine's owner,

discovers gas trucks don't sell retail.

There's adventure minus
dressing ahead for Charley,

a bridegroom to be already
late for his wedding.

(dramatic music)

(gas gushing)

(Charley thuds on the ground)

(dramatic music)

Charley discovers he had
gasoline all the time.

Remember when cars carried
spare gas on that running board?

Remember when cars had running boards?

(upbeat quirky music)

(window shutter bangs)

(dramatic music)

(window shutter snaps)

(upbeat quirky music)

(car door bangs)

(engine revs)

There go Viola's clothes, every stitch.

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(car screeches)

Viola through the speaker,

"Quick catch my clothing out the window.

"I'll explain later."

(upbeat quirky music)

(car door bangs)

(upbeat quirky music)

(Charley splashes in the trench)

(upbeat quirky music)

"That's all there is,
there isn't anymore."

(upbeat quirky music)

A bride at the church, a
naked woman in the car,

and along hobbles Edgar Kennedy,

the most persistent hitchhiker
west of Upper Sandusky.

"You can have a lift, says Charley,

"but not in the back seat.

"Not in the backseat."

(upbeat quirky music)

Charley explains about
his cargo in the rear

and Edgar smiles knowingly.

He belongs to that great fraternity of men

who have been around a bit themselves.

(car door bangs)

(upbeat quirky music)

Uproars a cop looking for contraband booze

flooding the land in
these days of prohibition.

Charley has the guilty look of
someone hauling bathtub gin.

(dramatic music)

"Pull over," orders the policemen,

the presence of an arm of
authority quickly transforms

experienced Edgar from
passenger to innocent bystander.

(car door bangs)

(dramatic music)

"Okay, brother, let's see what's
inside," commands the law.

"No, no." pleads poor Charley.

"Yes, yes," says the cop.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

"It's all right, chum,

"I am only looking for rum runners."

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

Bootleggers, they were everywhere.

(vat crashes on the road)

(upbeat quirky music)

Edgar suggests they circle his hotel

and he'll pick up some clothing.

But wouldn't you know it,
Edgar's hotel is just the place

they're holding Charley's wedding.

(upbeat quirky music)

("Here Comes the Bride")

"I can't stop the car," yells Charlie.

"It's the pickup."

(dramatic music)

The best man volunteers, "I'll stop it."

Charley has to share his secret.

The males of the '20s were
not as yet fully domesticated,

they stuck together.

(dramatic music)

"We can't stop, there's
something wrong with her buddy."

(quirky music)

"Her motor's racing, she
needs to be greased."

(quirky music)

"The case is hopeless,
it's the naked truth."

(upbeat quirky music)

"That's enough of that" says
the father of the bride.

"I'll stop it."

(dramatic music)

Now Charlie has to tell
all to dear old dad,

"It happens to the best
of us," says father,

"you should have seen what used to go on

"in my Stanley Steamer."

(upbeat quirky music)

"There's no stopping
her now she's stripped."

(upbeat quirky music)

When at 30 something's
gumming up for a wedding,

never underestimate the power of a woman.

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

The determined to be
bride kills the switch.

(haunting music)

"My, my," says Charlie.

"Now, why didn't we think of that?"

(daunting music)

"One, two, up."

(upbeat quirky music)
(men's footsteps thudding)

(upbeat quirky music)

"What's going on here?

Asks the bride.

"Oh, this is our lodge ceremony explains

quick-thinking Charley.

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

("Yankee Doodle")

(dramatic music)
(woman screams)

(quirky upbeat music)

"My goodness" cries mother, "don't tell me

"you'd marry that leaping bed sheet."

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(feet shuffling on the ground)

(upbeat quirky music)

Off to his wedding goes Charlie Chase,

man of the roaring '20s, a simpler,

happier and long vanished moment of time.

Our fourth clown is Buster Keaton.

He and friend J. Roy Barnes learned

from lawyer Snitz Edwards that Buster

is to inherit $7 million

providing he is married by
7:00 p.m. on his 21st birthday.

And when is his 21st birthday?

That very day.

The long arm of
coincidence often stretched

out of its socket in
this era of movie-making,

when fun was more important than logic.

(dramatic music)

He's off to propose to Genevieve,

his sweetheart since childhood.

(dramatic music)

(doubtful music)

(deep thoughtful music)

Buster's girl, Genevieve
is thrilled at first,

but then he let slip that
business about seven o'clock

and $7 million, and the climate changes.

She's afraid he wants to
marry her for his money.

(haunting music)

(dejected music)

Rejected by the girl he loves, poor Buster

decides it doesn't matter whom he marries.

He'll marry anyone who'll
have him, even a (indistinct)

as long as it's before seven o'clock.

("Here Comes the Bride")

(everyone laughing)

(sad music)

(upbeat quirky music)

Prodded by friend and
lawyer Buster proposes on.

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(melancholy music)

(tinkly music)

(upbeat music)

Soothed by mother, Buster's
girl writes him a note

translated from female into
English it reads, "Yes."

(upbeat quirky music)

Mary doesn't trust the phone.

Anyway, in those days, proper
girls didn't call boys,

it wasn't ladylike,

so she sends her message by Pony Express.

(upbeat music)

J. Roy Barnes has an idea,
"I'll get a bride," he says,

"meet me at the Broad
Street Church at five."

(sad music)

Too late.

(baby cooing)

(upbeat quirky music)

(upbeat music)

(women giggling)

An acceptance at last.

Is this movie over?

(quirky music)

Too early.

(upbeat quirky music)

"Even if you play grownup

"in my makeup and coat," says
mother, you're still only 12.

(upbeat quirky music)
(women giggling)

(dramatic music)

A proposal wheel to wheel.

(upbeat quirky music)

(car crashes)

(dramatic quirky music)

(brakes screeching)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

Barnes' big idea,

"Give the story to the newspapers."

(upbeat quirky music)

(deep thoughtful music)

(quirky music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(dramatic music)

("Here Comes the Bride")

(upbeat quirky music)

"There," says Barns, "I've done it.

"That should flush out a bride or two."

(dramatic music)

(soulful organ music)

This comedy "Seven
Chances" was made in 1925.

almost a half century later Niagara Falls

and Reno still signify the
ins and outs of marriage.

(hopeful music)

(quirky music)

(dejected music)

(upbeat quirky music)
(horse hooves tapping)

(tinkly music)

(quirky music)

("Here Comes the Bride")

(upbeat music)

("Here Comes the Bride")

(quirky music)

("Here Comes the Bride")

(upbeat quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(melancholy music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(melancholy music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(mellow organ music)

The minister speaks,

"Ladies, may I please have your attention?

"You're evidently the victims
of some practical joker.

"I must ask you to leave the church

"as quickly and as quietly as possible."

(mellow organ music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(melancholy music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

Buster gets the message.

Genevieve is his,

nothing stands between
our hero and happiness

but time, space and an unmarried mob.

(dramatic music)

(pondering music)

Keaton loses his watch.

With that seven o'clock
deadline looming ever nearer,

he has to know the time.

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

Upstairs, the life of
somebody's party awakens

to the morning after.

(alarm blaring)

(dramatic music)

(Charley thuds on the ground)

(dramatic music)

45 minutes left.

(alarm blaring)

(dramatic music)

(tram bell ringing)

("Here Comes the Bride")

(dramatic music)

("Here Comes the Bride")

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

("Here Comes the Bride")

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)
(women shouting)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(upbeat music)

Directions on the run,

"Bring the minister to Genevieve's house,

"I'll get there before seven if I can."

This film was directed
apparently at full gallop

by Buster Keaton himself.

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(upbeat quirky music)

(mellow music)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(melancholy music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat dramatic music)

(tram bell ringing)

(man thudding on the ground)

(upbeat music)

(tram bell ringing)

(dramatic music)

(man thuds on the ground)

(dramatic music)

(shoes scraping on the ground)

(upbeat drumming music)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(men thumping with feet)

(feet scraping on ground)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(feet thudding on the ground)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(Charley thuds on the ground)

(train thudding on tracks)

(sorrowful music)

(women crying)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(dramatic music)

(women shouting)

(dramatic music)

(wood panel scraping on the grass)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(dramatic drumming music)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(dramatic music)

(cow mooing)

(dramatic music)

(cow mooing)

(dramatic music)

(water splashing)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)
(water splashing)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)
(water splashing)

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

(gun firing)

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

"Follow me," directs the lead Amazon,

"I know a shortcut.

"We'll head him off with the pass."

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(dramatic music)

(drum roll music)

(dramatic music)

(tree thuds on the ground)

(dramatic music)

(quirky music)

(rocks clanging against each other)

(dramatic music)

(rocks clanging)
(upbeat quirky music)

(dramatic music)
(rocks thudding)

(dramatic music)

(stone thudding)
(dramatic music)

(rocks clanging)

(dramatic drumming music)

(dramatic music)

(rocks clanging against each other)

(anticipatory music)

(dramatic music)

(women shouting)

(rocks clanging)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(rocks clanging)

(dramatic music)
(women shouting)

(upbeat music)

(man thuds on the ground)

(upbeat music)

(dramatic music)

(train thudding on tracks)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat quirky music)

(gate cracks)

(dramatic music)

(sorrowful music)

Married in the nick of
time, eternal happiness.

Love, well, no worries
except keeping out of the way

of a few 1,000 disappointed brides.

(church bell ringing)

(mellow music)

(mellow music)

(drum roll music)

Did you pick out 18 year old Jean Harlow?

She was the woman who lost her dress

in Laurel and Hardy's "Double Whoopee."

She continued to play small
roles in short features

for two more years before Howard Hughes

cast her in "Hell's Angels."

And finally, who was
this guy Charlie Chase?

While he was a very talented fellow

from Baltimore, Maryland,

he starred in, produced, wrote or directed

an amazing 155 films
for Hal Roach Studios,

most of which were shorts.

And he also appeared with
many of the top comedy stars

of the day, including Charlie Chaplin

and Laurel and Hardy, of course.

In the late '30s he
directed some of the early

"Three Stooges" pictures.

But success didn't make
Charley Chase very happy,

he was always a very heavy drinker

and he had an unhappy marriage
and that made it a lot worse,

and he was just 46 years old
when he died of a heart attack.

Now I come from Baltimore
and he was one of our

very big stars.

We were very proud of him.

He was a very talented man
and his name is remembered

by movie buffs around the world.

Now watch this.