40-Love (2021) - full transcript

A 22 year old statistics whiz, Beek, sets out on a cross country road trip to New York City with the hopes of convincing one of the world's greatest tennis stars he can help her defeat her most challenging rival in the upcoming championship tournament. This road trip/romantic comedy follows his misadventures en route to and in the big city where Beek learns how to color outside the lines for the first time in his life.

Most people can see
what's right in front of them.

I've always been able to see
a little further.

You're looking at her curves,

but I'm seeing the angles
of her serves,

the when, where and how of all
her volleys and smashes...

the spin of every
forehand and backhand...

the precise trajectory
of each drop shot and lob.

You think she's beautiful
and you're not wrong.

Lois Kuzenkova has the most
elegantly relentless

style of play
the game's ever seen.

But she's defending
her title in two weeks.



1,700 miles from here,

against Lourdes, a rival
she's never been able to defeat

I know exactly
what she needs to do to win.

Which sounds even more
ridiculous when you realize

I'm about to go
sling some burgers.

Beek, you're going
to be late for work.

Mom,
I... I'm 22 years old.

I know how to have
an on-time departure.

Honey, can you tell
Sammy dinner's at 7:00?

- Yeah. Love you.
- Love you, too.

- I'm going to work.
- Can you pick up some 2% milk?

No, Sammy, I can't.
I'm gonna be late.

Great, thank you.
2% and seven triple A batteries.

- Any brand.
- Actually, that reminds me,



I... I had a dream about
the number seven last night.

I wonder what
the seven dreams are about.

I... I... Seven,
it has a... it has positive

and it has
negative connotations.

There's... there's seven wonders
of the world,

then there's, uh, seven

- deadly sins...
- Oh, yeah, there are?

There's, uh, seven days,
seventh heaven.

- Seven days of rest.
- Seven dwarfs.

- Seven colors in the rainbow...
- Yeah.

There's seven
continents, seven seas...

- Tell me more.
- But if you, uh...

you smash a mirror, you get
seven years of bad luck.

Level complete.

Is... is Beek fucked in the head?

Doctors say Beek's

on the spectrum
of fucked in the head.

I heard Beek was stalking
that tennis star, Bjorn Borg.

OK, guys, I'm...
I'm standing right here

and I'm not stalking Bjorn Borg.

Yeah, Beek,
where's the milk?

Mm-hmmm. Stalking Lois
Kuzenkova, by the way.

Oh, damn, she's a hottie.

Beek, show them how you do
that subbie eyes thing.

- You mean subitize?
- Counting things. Show 'em.

Guys, watch him subutize.
OK, Beek, quick:

How many red
barrels on the screen?

Uh... 43.

Wrong, bitch.

- Oh, fuck. 43.
- Yeah.

That's a notification

- to get me some Cap'n Crunch.
- No, now I'm late.

Oh, uh-huh, make sure
it's a family size.

- I'm really hungry.
- Shut up.

Don't stop to stalk
Lois Kuzenkova.

- Yeah, hello?
- Hey, is this Beek?

Yeah, yeah, I'm...
I'm gonna... I'm gonna

be there in seven
minutes.

Oh, you're seven minutes away.

You were going
to be right on time.

Look, my cousin needed a job
so I gave him yours.

Better yet, can you just quit
so I don't have

to pay you unemployment?

Just kidding.
Actually, why don't you, uh,

take the time
to get a girlfriend?

You've never
had one of those, have you?

All right, buddy,
I'll see you around, man.

He canned your ass.
That's cold, man.

Yeah.

$678, but that's including
my last work check.

It's... it's not enough.

New York is not the city
where you want to be broke.

But, hey... you make this pay
and you'll make your nut.

It's got a fat wad
riding on it.

OK, folks, it's showtime!

Put your money on the rail
betting Beek's gonna fail!

Doing 10 breaks.

Two to one payoffs
for every call Beek misses.

Six bottom left, 13 upper left.

Net.
All for show, follow for dough.

14, upper right.

Purple bottom right
to upper right.

Book him, Danno.

One, eight, five,
13 top corner.

Lot of green in between.

Seven side,
seven side pocket.

Ah!

Hey, Beek!

Your Aunt Marie just called,
she said your mom died.

Wait, I mean,
your mom just called,

she said your Aunt Marie died.

Is that better?

When Aunt Marie died,
I didn't just lose an aunt...

I lost a mentor.

She was a mathematician
who broke barriers,

becoming one
of the few women to work on

NASA's
Apollo mission.

Growing up,
Aunt Marie was called things

like math nerd,
numbers geek and whore.

Uh, "And who..."

"Math nerd, numbers geek

and who doesn't know
how insults can sting

when you're 10 or 11.

Um, a love of math,
it runs in my family.

Numbers, theories,
percentages, equations, inches.

Sammy's nine inches of hard...

Sam, uh...

Sammy
wrote that on my card.

Thank you, Sammy.

Aunt Marie would say
life is VUCA, an acronym

for volatile, uncertain,
complex and ambiguous.

She didn't want a life of VUCA,
and I don't either.

Aunt Marie died
and left me money.

Bless you.

-83 percent of sneezes

are followed
by another sneeze, so...

Bingo.

I'm sorry...
I'm sorry for rambling.

It... it's is my first eulogy,
and I'm... I'm hoping

my next one is a... a lot better.

Sorry,
Uncle Ted, I, uh...

I didn't mean
to look right at you.

Um, uh...
This is VUCA.

Thi... this is VUCA.
Fuck.

Fuck.

Thank you.

Hold the applause.

OK, how come Aunt Marie
didn't leave me any fat bank?

Honey, fat bank
sounds a little slangy.

Oh, it does?

Son, you'll get
your turn when you turn 21.

Aunt Marie was worried
you'd make a poor decision,

you know, like driving off
to New York and getting killed.

- Dad.
- You know, these days,

police can identify
a dead body by their teeth.

- Oh...
- Sammy...

Beek, you really need
to rethink this trip.

You'll just humiliate yourself.
People will laugh.

- This is crazy.
- Your father's right,

honey, you're
making a huge mistake.

Yeah, like dying and stuff.

Oh, well, this has been
an amazing send-off.

You don't know the first thing
about this Lois Kuzenkova woman.

I've seen her on TV.
Her eyes look dead.

You know, you are so right, Dad.

There's no emotion.
She sounds like Siri on heroin.

It'll be fine.
It's just a 1,679 mile drive.

I have my route planned,
coordinated and...

I'm anxious for this part
of my life to get started, so.

Wow, Beek, did you
find that on a fortune cookie?

Sammy?

- That was Dad.
- What?

- I... I don't know.
- Nothing.

Oh, yeah? That's what love means
in tennis, Beek: nothing.

I love you.
I'll call you from the road.

If we don't pick up, leave
a message where you broke down.

Sammy?

- Sammy.
- That was...

Hey, according
to my calculations,

you're just going
to fuck this up.

We love you, Beek.

Don't die.

- Go inside.
- OK. Yeah, yeah.

♪ All my friends were punks and
we were... ♪

♪ Still am ♪

♪ 1-877-kars4kids ♪

♪ K-A-R-S
kars4kids ♪

Gravitational
objects are orders

of magnitudes smaller
than subatomic particles

but the same principles
of mathematics apply.

In which case,
the conclusion we can draw

is one kilometer of space...

Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Damn it.

- Shit. Ugh.
- Hey!

Hey! Hey! Goddammit.

You making faces at my dog?

- Huh?
- Huh!

Is that all you can say, huh?
Huh! Huh! Huh!

- What?
- Shut up.

- Guess what, dip turd?
- What?

I'm gonna kick your fucking car.

- Oh!
- Ha!

You're a queen namby-bitch!

Shut up!
Huh! Huh! Shut the fu...

Look at my dog, asshole!
Look at my dog! You shut...

Goddamnit!

Fucking, shut up!

Oh.

"Welcome to Hartsville."

"The Town
with Hart in Our Name?"

Need a town
with tow truck in its name.

- You're early.
- No reason to yell.

But you're 45 minutes early.

Well, I got to check the soda
machine.

Bert said the new PVC
came in.

- But you were painting.
- Dad, I'm fine.

Casey, I'm only stuck here

to make sure
you don't get stuck here.

- OK, Dad, I love you.
- Love you.

You can't order
fried food, Booker.

Think about your heart.

I didn't fight in Korea
just to come home

to get guff
about food I'm eating.

OK, you think about it.

- Uh, hi.
- Whoa, what up, Chippy?

Oh, yes, my tooth.

Yeah, that left tooth
left the chat.

That's nice, but it's
the, uh, right tooth, actually.

"Thowwy, thir."

Ooh!

So, um,
the sign over at JG's Towing

told me to come
to JG's Diner and...

- Wow! Seven.
- What?

Uh, sorry, I've just been seeing
a lot of sevens lately.

Sorry, I'm frazzled.
Uh, my car broke down.

Actually, it was kicked down

and I ended up
chipping my tooth.

- Yikes. Wow.
- Yeah, that bad?

No, no. It act... it... no,
it looks good. It's fine.

You said yikes. And wow.

I... I saw two friends
walking outside...

- Named Yikes and Wow?
- Mm-hmmm.

Hmm.

No,
but, like, seriously,

it does look like
you gargled firecrackers.

- Jane!
- Can you stop?

I'm sorry. Stop it.

Welcome to JG's Diner,
young man.

Your name's, uh, Beekman.

Well, it's Beek for short.

Wait, it was you whose car
broke down at the rest stop?

- How did you know?
- We heard it over the CB.

They said you're meeting your
tennis star

girlfriend in New
York.

Well, so do you
know a car mechanic, or...?

Actually, I do.
Um, my dad.

You're looking at him.
I'm a mechanic. A good cook.

Decent plumber.
And if you need someone

to sing at your wedding...
you could do a lot worse.

Pretty ballsy going to New York
with a smile looking like yours.

Yeah, no shit.

Looks like you have a little
doggy door for your tongue.

Jane.

They're at the rest area,
hooking it up right now.

While you're waiting,
my brother's a dentist.

You wanna to see
if he has time for you?

- For sure.
- Gladys!

- What the hell are you doing?
- Not smoking.

Dr. Martin
has an opening at 3:00 p.m.

There you go.
While my brother's

fixing the tooth,
I'll fix the car.

I'll have you back
on that road by five o'clock.

Sounds good to me.

Now...

How are you today,
sport glamour?

I'm doing well.

Mm.
I'm just so done with this shit.

I'm just so fucking done.

Let's see what we got here.
Could you open there?

You don't need all this shit.

You know, they say dentists
have a high suicide rate,

but I'd have to see the data on
that because, uh... not for me.

I studied way too hard to throw
it all away on a lung full

of carbon monoxide
in a 450-square foot garage.

I mean, we're on our
feet all day

but so are teachers
and traffic cops

and they don't have
such a high suicide rate.

You have no signs
of periodontal disease,

so somebody's been doing their
flossing. Good job.

Another reason they say
our suicide rate's high

is because our clients
are never happy to see us,

but I don't know, nobody's ever
happy to see circus clowns,

either, and you don't see clowns
blowing their brains out

with a .357 magnum.
You got a little bit

of plaque right there
on your lateral incisor.

Gladys, give me a scaler.

I need a scaler.

Just... yeah.

Jesus. She's deaf.
Here we go.

Sometimes I...

I do better if I just...
feel my way around.

Try not to move.

That's when accidents happen.
There we go.

Another reason they say our
suicide rate's high is because

we wanted to be doctors,
but I'm huffing laughing gas

and laughing
all the way to the bank.

Or the morgue, whatever.
Do you catch my drift?

Mm-hmm.

You know,
I think shotguns are...

Shotguns are messy, you know,

but since you brought it up,
sleeping pills, right?

Tylenol PM,
just take 100 of those,

wash it down with some vodka.
That's bravery.

You got a little bit of plaque
right there on your left...

give me this thing again.
I'll just take it.

I like being a dentist.
Really do.

We get a lot...
put your hands over your ears.

Put your hands
over your ears.

There ya go.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

You see this tooth drill?
It spins at 250,000 RPM.

This could slice my head
clean off.

Not today.

Brenda Tillerson,
she dates a radiologist.

I just want to take
his dumb doctor face,

put it on a curb
and stomp it for 10 hours.

Brenda's a local gal
with massive tits.

Are you dating Lois Kuzenkova?

Friend zone.

I can't understand a fuckin'
thing you're saying right now.

Oh.

Beek.
Interesting name, Beek.

The Beek shall
inherit the Earth.

Is that you, Beek?
Are you gonna inherit the Earth?

Or are you one of these
lazy bastards sitting around,

getting high, reading
Field & Slacker magazine?

Never gonna own
a Home & Garden?

Yeah?

Do you take drugs?
No? You drink?

I don't drink.

Good. Drinkin' makes me sad...
dentist sad.

You got a little extra here.
You don't really need this.

You can take your hands
off your ears. Gladys!

She's got tinnitus.

She's as useless
as Anne Frank's drum kit.

We used to date,
but then it got weird.

Casey's my niece.

If anything happens to her,

that gun I was gonna eat
is not gonna get eaten by me.

Beek!

It's just a moth.

My bad. I overreacted.
Good reflexes.

OK. My brother is going
to have a proposition for you.

A proposition?

Hey, Dan, what'd you
say happened to this thing?

Steel toe, right through
the radiator.

Gotta call Denson.
Could take about a week.

OK, boss.

- No, I said water pump.
- Ow!

And that's the long
and short of it.

Casey just needs a little nudge
in that direction.

So... what do you think?

So either I wait
seven days for the radiator

or Casey comes with me
to New York

while you repair the car.

You pay for gas,
hotels, food, everything,

and I get to pick whatever
vehicle I want from the shop?

- What's the catch?
- Well...

My Casey's a very,
very talented artist.

I swear, it's like an angel
is holding her hand,

you know, how she guides
the brush over canvas.

She needs to get out there,

be with people
that think like her, but...

Yes?

She doesn't know
about this plan.

So she doesn't
want to go to New York?

Of course she does.
She just doesn't know she does.

- What did you tell her?
- That she needs to watch you

like a hawk
'cause you're a deadbeat

who tried to use
a stolen credit card.

- What?
- I told her

you're a deadbeat
who tried to use the...

No, no, I heard
what you were saying.

I just... I can't
believe you said it.

I'll tell you what.

One day
when you have a daughter,

I'll let you do anything
to me if it helps her.

Because you will love her
more than anything in the world,

and you'll understand.

Casey thinks
she's doing me a favor.

But she's doing herself a favor.

Pick any car you want

and you'll be on the road
to New York.

So you said I could take
any vehicle that I want.

Is this her?

Lois Kuzenkova.

She's pretty.

She's a very good tennis player.

Why are we
driving a tow truck?

Well...

If we break down we can
tow ourselves to the mechanic.

No, seriously.
Why did my dad say it's OK?

He thinks you're shady
and irresponsible

and narcissistic.

Why would he let your drive
his tow truck?

He thinks I'm narcissistic?

Well, I mean,
I threw that one in, but...

OK.
Firstly, I picked the truck.

And secondly, why do you think
I'm a narcissist?

Because you're taking advantage
of a bunch of people

to get yourself to New York.

I mean, you might not
be a full blown narcissist

but you must have a touch of it.

Well, that's just like saying

I have a touch
of yelling racial slurs.

But you are shady.

So, please try to keep
shoplifting to a minimum, OK?

I have never
shoplifted in my life.

- Have you?
- OK, once when I was 12.

Oh, OK. So, she's... she's not
perfect. What was it,

a... a hair scrunchie
from Forever 21?

I was at this office building

and I drank out
of the water fountain

so when I tried to find someone

to see if I owed
any money for the water.

- You're joking.
- I don't like dishonesty.

So I don't really
know anything about tennis.

A tennis court
is 23.77 by 8.23 meters

or 2,106 square feet.

It has a net
that is 3.6 feet at the post.

OK. Um, the closest
I ever get to playing tennis

is when I park my dad's car
in the garage.

- What?
- Yeah, you know.

He has one of those hanging
tennis balls that hangs

from the ceiling and it tells
you when you've

pulled in far
enough.

Oh, yeah, I need
one of those tennis balls

for this truck.
It's a beast.

Why did you
pick this tow truck?

OK, yeah.

This tow truck,
it gives me access

that most fans won't have.

Wait. Fans? Fans?

You have never
met Lois Kuzenkova.

Oh! You are driving
all this way to sneak in

and find her and say what?
"Hi, I'm crazy. I know math.

Will you marry me?"
What the fuck? This is...

This is pathetic.

Pathetic
is a little strong.

What would you call it?

Be... offbeat.

Offbeat.

The way Van Gogh
slicing his ear off

with a butter knife
was offbeat?

OK.
Just say something normal.

OK.
What's your favorite painting?

- Starry Night.
- I like that one too.

You know Van Gogh painted it
in a French insane asylum?

He saw this idealized
version of a village

outside of his window
and he put it on canvas.

- And then he cut his ear off.
- Yeah, there is that.

You artist types can be crazier
than anybody else.

You're an idealist
and you want to change the world

but you don't go
about it practically like I do.

I look at Starry Night
and I see

2.5 by 3 feet
of pure beauty.

You look at it and wanna rename
it "7 Square Feet of Paint."

Actually, 2.5 by 3 feet
would be 7.5 square feet

- just to be precise.
- I can't... you're a pessimist.

Hmm.

You see human emotion
as a drawback

and I see it as
limitless possibilities.

That's not true.
I... I'm an optimist.

I think Van Gogh's
head is half full of ears.

You're always trying

to invent a world
that comes down to science.

Mm-hmm. Like this woman.

She just walked
into the diner.

And now she's within
four walls and her behavior

is contained
within the laws of math.

So what do we know about her?

She's married
with three kids,

a dog, a cat
and a goldfish.

Robbie brought home a cat,

and of course
fighting with the dog

and tried to eat the goldfish.

But other than that,
we're great.

How? How did you do that?

I saw her get out of her car.

She has one of those
family decals on the back.

OK.

Got one of these things.

Guess I gotta make
this adjustment.

- Hm.
- It's perfect.

- Oh, shit, I forgot to pay.
- Oh, no, I got it.

What do you mean?

I mean, I... I got it.
I paid for it.

- How?
- With my credit card.

I don't have a credit card.

What?

I'm sorry, I lied to you.
I'm not broke.

I... I actually have a lot
of money.

Your da... your dad wanted me to
pretend that I was broke

so that you would
come to New York with me.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Oh, man, check out
those two in the parking lot.

- She looks pissed off.
- Yeah,

I heard them talking.
They're going to New York City.

God, I wouldn't
mind having some of that.

Why would you say
that in front of me?

Come on, baby,
you know you're hot,

but that chick has
a way better body than yours.

Oh, Goddammit.

How about that punch?

Is her punch better
than mine, too?

Oh, you broke my tooth!

Why are they driving
a tow truck?

You lied to me.
You both lied to me.

Sorry, I have seven credit cards

and my aunt gave me money.
I'm sorry.

I'm not a child.
I'm not 14 years old.

I'm old. I mean, I'm not old,
but I'm not a little girl.

And you two are treating
me like property.

Just whisking
me off to parts unknown.

OK, I don't think parts unknown

is the best way
to describe New York City...

Can you stop parsing my words?
I know what I'm saying.

You lied to me so I would do
what was best for you

and what was best for my father
instead of, you know,

maybe considering
what was best for me.

OK, I'm sorry.

I have no right to direct your
life and neither does your dad.

But... but he is your dad
and he thinks

you're gonna be
making a big mistake

if you don't take
your painting seriously.

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

You know what, I'm done.
No more painting.

I am never gonna apply to
one of those stupid art schools

with all those trustafarians
and their fucking

hipster beards,
everyone saying, "lit."

Casey. I'm sorry.

Well, I can't stand liars.
My mother was a liar.

She lied about
where she was going.

She lied about coming back.
And now my father's a liar

and that makes three
too many liars in my life.

- You are the third.
- Right.

OK, well, your dad
didn't lie for his own gain

and neither did I.
I mean, I did gain a little...

A little? A lot.
More like, um, let's see,

this tow truck that
gets you past the velvet ropes.

Uh, money, gas, let's see,

hotels and an on-time departure.

Well, that's not true.

I was delayed seven hours

and the sevens have been just
haunting this entire trip.

Oh, my God, you know,
for a guy who wants

the world to run according
to his precise equations,

you are so superstitious
about this seven bullshit.

- What? Casey.
- Pardon me? I can't hear you.

This can makes this loud
whooshing noise.

It's actually
its best quality.

- I'm trying to say I'm sorry.
- OK, henceforth

this will be my side
of the cab and that's your side.

This is juvenile.

Keep your insults to that side
of the truck.

You know, it even says
it on the can: "Silly."

I'm sorry, I can't hear anything
coming from your quadrant.

Okay, well, maybe I'll get my
own quadrant.

Bye.

Mm, is that
a text from your girlfriend?

Juvenile.

Oh, sorry,
did you say juvenile?

- Yeah, I did.
- Oh, that's funny

'cause I thought you were
talking about your silly string.

'Cause a couple of minutes
ago you sprayed silly string

all over the car
and it was juvenile.

You know, you really
take the cake.

- No, you take the cake...
- No, you're the cake taker.

And yeah, I said juvenile
because maybe I sprayed

a little silly string
but you wasted at least

15 minutes
on this dumb blind thing.

And you know, time adds up
like feathers on a scale.

Before you know it, you'll have
munched all of your schedule.

You'll never even meet Lois.
And then the world will spin on

and you'll do
your shame walk home

and everyone
will point and laugh

and you never even got to do
the fun part of the shame,

so it will all be for naught.
Wow, that sucks.

Though she is very attractive,

if I was interested
in the superficial qualities,

I'm sure Lois would

tick a few boxes,
but that's not why I'm going.

That would be dumb.

OK, guess
we can rule that out.

I want to help her
see the court differently.

I want to raise her
percentage shots

and if I'm right,
I'll be proven right

in front of the whole world.

So my phone
has a calculator

and I was crunching
some numbers,

and I think I found
some prime numbers

that explain
your obsession with Lois.

Five, three, one, eight,
zero, zero, eight,

but read it upside down
for better accuracy.

"Boobies."

Ah, sheesh.

- Yup, her main attraction.
- Yeah. Nope.

- Yeah.
- Wrong.

I'm exhausted. I take nappy.

Are you pulling over?

Yeah, I saw something.
Or I thought I did.

Where are you going?

Oh, I'm glad
I didn't run over this.

What?

- The tarantula.
- Oh, gross.

Wow.

You know, they're from
the family thersaphade.

It's cute,
but I hate it.

It's probably molting.
That's why they travel.

Oh, look at it's eye.

Oh, they're looking right at...

Beek, stop. Stop. Let's go...

- I'm just kidding, kidding.
- I'm serious.

It's minding its own business.
Let's go.

Come on. I don't... come.

Beek.

Oh, my...

- Holy shit, let's go.
- What?

Beek, come on. Let's go.
Let's go, seriously.

Holy shit. There's another one.
Get it. Get it.

It's moving, get it, get it.
I'm not gonna touch it.

-What am I supposed...?

Please, just get it off the car.
Ew...

No!
The wind will blow it off!

The wind'll blow it. For sure.

Holy shit, drive!

Beek, I hate them! I hate them,
drive faster!

Oh, my God. OK, I'm not
stopping. I'm going,

I'm driving
through! I'm driving through.

I hate them, I hate them.
Drive faster.

Why are you going this way? Oh,
my God. What?

- Oh, my God.
- Holy shit, holy shit.

Don't stop.

Oh, my God.

Beek, there has to be more.
Get them all off.

- What are you talking about?
- Get them off. I'm serious.

- Fine. I don't see any honestly.
- There's one on the hood!

Talking about the antenna?
That's...

- It's fine.
- Well, double check.

I am not getting in that car.

- I double checked.
- There's gonna be more.

I swear there
are no more spiders, OK?

Oh, my God,
that was so crazy.

You don't think any of them
got into the truck, do you?

No, there's no way
any spiders got into the truck.

No possible way.
I mean, it's just like...

they don't have keys.

Most spiders don't have thumbs.

But did you know
that spiders can have

anywhere between
zero and a dozen eyes?

Did you know
that driving 1,700 miles to meet

a tennis star you've never
met before is batshit crazy?

No, I didn't know that.

Did you know
that sociopaths don't yawn

after seeing somebody else yawn?

- They don't?
- Nope.

Well, our hotel
is about seven minutes away.

Stay there for the night.

And tomorrow
we're about seven hours

from New York City
and our road trip is over.

I'd say all in all,
this whole trip was pretty cool.

Cool place. Not too creepy.

Yeah, it's pretty nice.

- They were sweet in the office.
- Yeah.

Two rooms is cool.

If anything happens,
just pound on the wall.

I mean,
depending on the situation.

Um, you know, what if
someone comes in and says,

"I'm gonna steal all your money
but don't pound on the wall?"

Seems, uh... seems
unlikely.

Have you always wanted
to be a painter?

Forever, but a good one.

Your dad says
that your paintings look

like an angel
is helping you hold the brush.

He said that? That's sweet.

You know, Voltaire said,

"Originality is nothing
but judicious imitation."

Voltaire is saying copy others,
but be good at it?

Yeah, I mean, and I guess...

I mean,
I'm influenced by people.

Everyone is to some extent.

But sometimes I wonder
if I'm imitating too much,

not being judicious.

I think
because you worry about it,

you don't have
to worry about it.

That's how it usually goes.

Hey, what makes you think Lois

is gonna listen to your
theories?

Well, she is
a professional tennis player,

but she didn't
get to where she is

without a superhuman effort...

and a readiness to try things

that may only improve her game
by three or four percent.

I'm offering better.

Hey, if... if Lois wins
and you two start dating,

don't you think
that'd be difficult?

You know, like, walking around

with a beautiful
thoroughbred horse,

without being
able to communicate.

- I'm sorry, what?
- I'm Russian fluent.

Oh, I mean, I'm sorry,
I... I really... I didn't know.

I guess that's great.
Um, you guys can just proceed

to get married at 0900

and carry on to have your kids,
Abacus and Bar Scanner.

Oh, yeah. And maybe
we can hang out with your kids,

uh, Rainbow and Super Hippie.

Blastoff!

♪ Sweetheart ♪

♪ Don't wait too long ♪

♪ To marry me ♪

♪ Would you marry now? ♪

♪ Climbing out of my dreams ♪

That was kind
of weird, last night.

Those boys just coming
out of nowhere

to jump into the pool. Yeah?

Yeah. They were
like the double zero

on a roulette wheel.

All your calculations
go out the window

if you land on double zero.

The house wins. You don't.

That can't be
factored into equations.

I mean, it's like predicting
what a drunk person will do.

Or a baby.

And the biggest
double zero of 'em all: love.

♪ Once I had a love
and it was divine ♪

What is this song?

♪ It seemed like the real thing
but I was so blind ♪

♪ Mucho mistrust,
love's gone behind ♪

♪ Doo, doo, doo ♪

What is it called?

I don't know.

It's so familiar.

♪ There's no peace of mind ♪

♪ If I fear I'm losing you ♪

♪ It's just no good
You teasing like you do ♪

"Heart of Glass."

- "Heart of Glass." "Heart of..."
- That's it! Yes!

"Heart of Glass."

♪ Once I had a love
and it was a gas ♪

♪ Soon turned out,
had a heart of glass ♪

♪ Seemed like the real thing,
only to find ♪

♪ Mucho mistrust,
love's gone behind ♪

♪ Lost inside,
adorable illusion ♪

♪ And I cannot hide ♪

♪ I'm the one you're using,
please don't push me aside... ♪

Get it out!

Get it! Get it.

Free at last.

♪ Yeah, riding high
on love's true bluish light ♪

♪ Oooh-ah-ah ♪

♪ Oooh-ah-ah ♪

♪ Oooh-ah-ah ♪

♪ Oooh-ah-ah ♪

♪ Oooh-ah-ah ♪

WTBW, New York City.

Uh, yeah, I'm not
so sure about this hotel.

I made the reservation
without seeing it first.

Let's give it a chance.
Maybe it's not so bad inside.

Ouch.

This looks like
a crime scene waiting to happen.

Yeah, they should just replace
the carpet with blackboard.

What do you mean?

Be easier to sketch body
outlines.

Ew. Beek.

Fuck you
pounding at, motherfucker?

Trying to get some sleep
and you fucking

making noise in there?
You fucking keep that up,

I'll fucking... I... rip
your motherfucking head off!

You're a motherfucking travesty!

You son of a fucking bitch.

I hope you... fuck, when... when
you... motherfucker!

This is hard for me!
Fucking making me... mother!

I'm fucking tired.

Fuck. No, you shut you... you
shut the fuck up!

You motherfucker!
I'll fucking kill you!

You fuck! You...
you fucking fuck.

Fuck!

Fuck you, man,
and fuck the world, man!

I'll fucking kill you,
you bastard motherfucker!

Fuck!

I'm ready! How do I look?

You look fine.

I'm going to the AT.

I am finally
going to the AT!

This is what I came here to do.
I downloaded the schematics

of the AT to get a general
sense of the whole layout.

I'm... Casey, bringing
the tow truck to New York,

it was...

Bellissima!

First thing that's gonna happen,
they're gonna let me in through

the gate, which will
lead me to these three ramps.

The north ramp will
take me all the way

to the commercial vehicle
intake which is right next

to the press terminal,
and then my first meeting

with Lois will be
at her scheduled 3:30 presser.

And even if that
doesn't work, I...

there are three other events
within 1,000 yards

of the terminal and so I...
I'm good.

I mean,
I'm better than good. I'm great!

- Good luck.
- I don't need luck.

I need smart and meticulous
planning which is what I've got.

Thank you, Casey.

This isn't creepy, I swear.

I'm going now.

- Help you?
- Yes, yes,

I'm here to pick up a car

with the tow truck
and take it somewhere else.

- Need to see your license.
- Yes, yes, of course.

I'm very excited.

Excited, me, too.
After we scan your license,

we'll hold you
in the C.N.T. call area...

C.N.T. call area!

Scan Picks, DHS,

ATF Certificate checks
over on VACA.

ATF Certificate Check.
Make sure you got it.

Then the D.I.T. card.

- You got your D.I.T. Card?
- C-PAC,

arena tags, then
put your call order

and Hook To documents
in the X-ray.

Fourth copy needs
to be notarized.

Do not lock stamp until
we give you the rubber glove.

OK, Eddie just told me.
He wants an undercarriage check

on all tows and double duallies.

- No fucking around.
- I know, OK?

I gotta get this asshole's
call order and his C-PAC card!

His arena tags aren't even
on the visor like I, uh, asked.

OK, listen, clip
your arena tags on the pit box.

Then we'll do
your sincher-winch documents

while we do the under check.

OK? Your tires are reverse
bolted, you fucking jackass.

Reverse bolted?

Yeah, uh, was that a rule?

He doesn't have the... it's
reverse bolted. The wheels are

- reverse-bolted.
- Back it up.

- You got to back it up.
- Back this up.

No, no, no, no...

Isn't this this guy... he
looks... he looks like Tom Hanks.

- Look at him. Turn your...
- You think so?

Turn your face over there.
Look, look. Look at him.

Remember Bosom Buddies?

Remember, he dressed
up like a broad! 'Member?

I like that show!
I used to watch that show.

I like that.
Hey, can we call you Tom?

- Hey, Tom.
- That was before his time.

I want my money
for The Da Vinci Code back.

You're a funny guy, Tom.
You're kind of stupid, though.

You came here
to fucking play games, huh?

You even know
how to drive a tru...

are you
a tow truck driver, Hanks?

Are you mentally ill?
What, you're trying

to get in here?
What are you doing?

No, I... I didn't know there was
anything wrong with the wheels.

- Do we look stupid?
- No.

- Does he look stupid?
- No.

- Do I look stupid?
- No.

- So you're calling me stupid?
- He's trying to piss him off.

- Come on, I'm a nice guy.
- He isn't.

You're heating my wick now.
I'm a nice man.

He's a very nice...
not a nice man.

I'm a nice man. I got a vague
distaste for him.

I don't know why.
A very vague distaste.

You Forrest Gump
motherfucking fuckface.

- You better go.
- And I love everyone.

- I love everybody...
- He does.

- He loves...
- I love him. I love everyone.

I don't like you. Back it up!

I'm... I'm going. I'm going now.
I'm... I'm going, sorry.

- Leave. Leave, please.
- I'm so sorry.

Reversed bolts,

- you're trying to come in here?
- So sorry!

I'm so stupid.

You're not stupid.

Why else would
I drive across

the country to see
a complete stranger

who happens to be
a tennis superstar?

OK,
your plan didn't work,

so either wallow in self-pity

or come up with a new plan.

I'll have a couple
more seconds of self-pity.

How did I get shut down so hard?

So your plan didn't work.
That's hard.

You're gonna
have to work a little harder.

I don't know about you,
but I'm not afraid of hard work.

You mean, you... you want to help
me? I thought

you were pissed off at me
for dragging you to New York.

Yeah, I was.

But I was mad at the lies.

Growing up,
I... I had a dog named Bob.

- Bob?
- Yeah, Bob.

He was a pug.

Um, he was kind of my mom's dog
but I helped raise him.

And, um...

When I was 13 my mother left us.

We never heard from her again.
Um...

So anyway,
one day I came home from school.

And, um, I found out that my...

my dad had given Bob away.

He said
Bob was at some farm, but...

I knew that that was a lie,
that he had put Bob down.

I was so furious

and I wanted to prove
my dad was a liar.

So I hopped on my bike

and... and I... I biked
out to the country...

and I was looking for the farm.

And then I found it,
just one county over.

And, um, sure enough,
there was Bob.

He was really happy to see me.
But, um...

I could tell that he also
was happy living on that farm.

And then I found out why.

Um...

My mom was living there, too.

Um...

I found out
later that she got remarried

and she called my dad
asking for some of the things

that she had left behind,
which included our dog.

She didn't even ask
about my sister and I.

Um, she didn't care.
So my dad lied to protect us.

But I think he was also ashamed

that a woman like my mother
could break his heart.

Anyway, I never got
another dog and...

I haven't really left
my dad's side since then.

So...
All I'm asking is no more lies.

OK, we need to do
something about all of this.

Yeah, you, your look.

You got to... you got to dress
better, Beek. I mean,

if you want people
to take you seriously.

You look like... you look like
beige in a box.

- Beige in a box.
- You look like

elevator music dressed you.

We need to do a shopping spree.

I'm an artist
and you're my blank canvas.

And I think
it starts with a makeover.

Let's do it.

Catch up, Beek! Come on!

OK! I'm coming.

How much did
we just spend on all this?

Yeah, yeah, whatever.
At least

you won't look
like beige in a box anymore.

Wanna race?

♪ You don't have to be lonely ♪

♪ Find someone to talk to ♪

OK, we belong here.
Just remember we belong here.

Oh, look, the hipster parade
got lost uptown

with its Grand Marshal,
Timothee Chalamet... not!

You want us
to park a tow truck?

This is tennis week, people.

And you didn't
even have the courtesy

of giving us the keys.

OK, this is not going well.
OK, I need to breathe.

Jesus H... do not make me
say his full name.

- Sorry.
- I am, too.

Enjoy your stay, sir. Ugh.

OK, fuck him.

We belong here.
We belong here. We do.

You look great. Let's go.

Uh, 2,200 square feet.

Six exits, two to the south.

Two staircases.
Wow, this place is nice.

We belong here, follow my lead,

and answer
all my questions in Russian.

- Why?
- Do you want to meet Lois?

- Da.
- Hi, can I help you?

Sorry, Bono,
we just got to New York.

Oh, by the way, Lorne Michaels
called and he wants you

to do Saturday Night Live
on the 5th.

Yeah? OK, I'll tell him.

Have a great show tonight
and tell Elton I say hi.

OK, bye-bye. Um, hi.
We have a reservation.

It's under... is it under
your name or Sokolov?

- ...Hayden.
- Beek Hayden.

Beek Hayden? Found it.

A deluxe suite, two beds?

Yeah, oh,
and can you leave an extra key?

One of your guests,
Lois Kuzenkova, will be staying

with us tonight.
She hates her room.

Is something wrong with 1509?

Ants.

Holy shit.

OK, wow. Wow.

Who are you, again?

It's like one second
we know nothing about Lois,

and the next second,
we have her ATM code,

- her social security number...
- I told you,

I know how to listen to people.
Learned it from the diner.

- Professional.
- I guess.

Hi, can I be connected
to 1509, please?

Yes, hello?
Hello, this is

Cletus Spitsnoggle, I'm calling
from the concierge desk.

Yes, yes, oh.

Uh, we... we actually just
received a call

from Bell Bella asking

if we could move
your reservation up to 10:55.

Oh, you don't have
a reservation at Bell Bella,

where was
your reservation tonight?

Oh, oh! Chao-lor!
Very good.

OK. OK. You too.
Ta-ta, tootle-loo.

Chao-Lor, 11:15.

Confidence,
it's all about confidence.

Confidence
begets more confidence.

Wait, I... I think
she just pulled up.

Why don't you take care
of these jackets?

Wow.

- You can do this.
- If they even let me in.

Beek, you got this.
You're a boss.

I got this.

♪ Treated like game night,
trying to get paid ♪

♪ Baddie on FaceTime,
pretty ass face ♪

♪ Pick up the gas
then I wanna go race ♪

♪ Buy me a pill
and I feel like a fool ♪

♪ Ready for you,
are you ready though? ♪

♪ Heard my good friend
on the radio ♪

♪ All my, all my meeting,
we up top ♪

♪ Everything she see I want,
she just caught ♪

♪ Money ride,
perk got me silly ♪

♪ Audi in the city,
speed until we silly ♪

So sorry.

♪ All these legs beam me ♪

♪ Ate too many drugs
now I'm spinning like a CD ♪

Whoa. How's it going?

I just, uh, wanted to go to
Lois' table to say hi and stuff.

Oh, oh, you just want
to go to Lois' table.

- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.

Well, that's not gon' happen.
Yeah, yeah, 'cause you going to

Lois' table fuck with my whole
train of thought right now.

- Well, I... I was just...
- I don't got time

for the novels and shit. Yeah,
I mean, you seem like the kinda

dude that knows what's what if
I'm judging from your fucking

sartorial attire and all that
type of shit, y'know what

I mean? So, let me tell you my
end. Basically I'm saying,

back your ass up,
or I'm gon' rip off your head,

and punch you
in the fucking heart.

You know what I'm saying?
Like wah!

Wah! Wah!

Or maybe the clap.
Like strip club ass.

It's gon' to be amazing.
It's gon' fucking sound

like donkeys kicking.

Hey, Bubba, you ready to go?
I'm done chatting with Lois.

- She's the bee's knees, man.
- Oh, shit, yeah. We can roll.

Oh, shit.
Quick, this my man, Lucky.

- Actually, it's Beek.
- Actually, it's Lucky.

'Cause he lucky his heart ain't
get all punched up and shit.

Hey, nice to meet you, Lucky.

- Uh, hi. You play hockey.
- I know. Too bad you don't play.

Because if you and I
were on the same team,

we could be Quick and Lucky.

Quick and Luck...

Well, I... I don't believe
in luck, actually.

All right, all right, man. We
don't wanna hear all that shit.

Look, you're free to take your
little ass to Lois' table now.

Watch out for her dad, though.
He's scarier than me.

Thank you.

A wise man knows not to sit down
without an invitation.

I'm not usually this assertive,
but I think I have something

important to say to you.

- Is this Versace?
- Oh, I don't know.

- Casey picked it.
- Who's Casey?

Oh, no one.
Well, not no one,

she's, uh... she's actually...
she...

The mad dog doesn't mind
taking the long way around.

And you're the mad dog?

I did actually drive, uh,
1,700 miles in a tow truck

to get here, so either I am mad

or there is something that
I have that you need to hear.

I can improve Lois'
score by 10%. Minimum, at least.

And if she finds
herself in the finals

with Lourdes,
I can guarantee a win.

Like, like,
guarantee-guarantee.

Tell me why I should
give a fuck what you say.

11,000 years ago,
there were glaciers

where we're sitting right now.
They began to recede

and a series of equations

were set in place
which turned 302 square miles

and 8.3 million people into one

of the largest
city centers in the world.

And Manhattan was
right in the middle of it,

like a... like a giant lava lamp.

Lava lamps
are essentially glass jars

with blobs of paraffin
floating in them,

and NASA actually used lava
lamps to feed random numbers

to supercomputers in order
to predict for random events.

But I can do
all of that in my head.

Leave me the address

where you got this blouse
as you leave.

There's an 85% chance

that your waiter
is gonna spill your vodka.

I'm supposed to be impressed
that you predicted a waiter

will spill
some vodka on a Saturday night?

Solid break. 11 side pocket.
Seven bottom corner.

Five top left.

Goddamnit!

Listen, this is Beek.

He'd like to drop
by practice tomorrow.

He thinks he can
help you with your game.

- Thank you.
- For what?

For whatever happens next.

Yes! Yes!

Oh.

Casey! Casey!

Beek, what happened to your
head?

Oh, nothing. I'm just... I have
this thing for minor abrasions,

- it'll fix right, right up.
- What?

But seriously, thank you.
Thank you for everything.

I couldn't have
done it without you.

- It was a great night.
- So, you met Lois?

Oh, I did way
more than meet Lois.

That sounded like we had sex.
We did not have sex.

That sucks.

But seriously.
Oh, it was amazing.

These words just
kept spilling out of my mouth

because I was
finally talking to people

who actually know
what I'm talking about.

Not like with you when I'm like,

boring you to death.
Um, anyways.

Tomorrow,
my life is going to change.

She's got
the fury to win.

Wanting the win...

and having the win...

are two very different things.

Yeah, well, she's won
many grand slams.

Been world number one off
and on for what, 10 years?

I mean, what more can you want?

Are you joking?

Look, I know
she wants to beat Lourdes,

and I wanted that, too.

But losing to Lourdes,
that's not gonna

ruin her legacy, is it?

I mean, sometimes there
are players that just do things

to get under your skin,
and sometimes

it's OK to be the best
in the world, most of the time.

You know something?

I'm really starting to think

that you are the wrong man
for this job.

- You are joking?
- Joking.

A man walks
into a fortune teller's,

and he says to her,
"Do you see jail in my future?"

And she says no.

So the man robs her.
That is a joke.

What is not a joke is winning!

The only important
thing is winning.

Look, Petrov,
I want her to win as well...

but I've also
got to be realistic.

Hi.

Hi.

So, your first opponent
is Sarah Nytrink.

She's a decent player
with a good slice backhand,

but you're gonna win.

In fact, let's make it a sweep.

It'll send a message
that it's your tournament.

And this right
here is the dead zone.

Your percentage
in this area is 67%

from right court returns
and 71 from the left.

You hit the ball
with a precision

unlike any other player.
What we need to do

is match those numbers
and raise them to 75%.

You'll be unstoppable.

Right now, I'm the only
one seeing what I'm seeing.

It's all in my head.

But if it stays there,
it's useless.

I need someone like you
to help me realize these things.

Because what are the keys
to winning without the winner?

You are done.

Petrov!

Please.
Don't make this messy.

♪ Cross the rivers
and the mountains ♪

♪ I wanna feel
the morning falling down ♪

♪ All the way down ♪

♪ Like the sun's beating ray ♪

♪ Like the dead of all,
I feel the same ♪

♪ All the way down ♪

♪ Let the London break the sky
and ground ♪

♪ I fall onto my knees,
I'm going down ♪

♪ I'm all the way down ♪

♪ Let me shine the golden sun ♪

♪ See the silver rays
are bright as one ♪

♪ All the way down ♪

♪ Come and answer
to my call ♪

♪ Let us share
the crown ethereal ♪

♪ All the way down ♪

Hi, so nice to see you.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Can I help you?
- Uh, no, I was just...

I was measuring something.

- Pardon?
- Um, is this Pace University?

I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, that would... that
would be it.

- New student?
- Uh, no.

- Mostly Impressionist.
- Pardon?

- You said do I do nudes?
- No, no, new student?

Oh, my God. Holy shit,
is this really happening?

I'm so sorry, I'm blushing,
I'm... I'm really sorry.

You're fine, you're fine.

I'm just... I'm not from here,
I'm a waitress.

My... I thought you were going to
hug me and then I dropped this,

and then you asked
me if I was nude...

you didn't. You didn't ask me
if I was nude. I thought...

I thought... My dad's an
asshole. I mean, he's not.

He's wonderful, but... OK.

I'm gonna let you guys... bye.

Hey, Casey. Sorry
I'm late.

- Wow.
- I know, right?

- Manhattan.
- Yep.

22.7 square miles,
21 bridges and 15 tunnels.

Through every window is a story.

Well, actually it looks
to be about 85% capacity.

So, not quite. How are you?

I've just been
sleeping at the stadium.

Lois is a beast.

She sees everything
that I see in my head perfectly.

- That's great.
- But I should thank you.

Otherwise, I would have been
sleeping in the tow truck.

Instead,
you're sleeping with Lois.

Well, no, no, not exactly.

It's... I mean,
you know, there are sparks,

but sparks are ubiquitous.

- Sparks?
- How's your application to Pace?

Uh, I tried.

Tried?

Well, I found it OK,
which was good,

and I liked the campus,
which is also good,

but then I walk halfway up
the front steps

and I just... I end up
doing this weird bag hug

and all my stuff drops
on the ground, it makes

this insanely loud noise,
which really pisses me off.

And then I think I see, like,
all these people pointing

and laughing at me, which I
mean, I don't know if they

actually were. I guess I would
have to check the security

footage when I go back there,

which I'm definitely
not gonna go back.

Casey, I'm sorry
that happened to you, but...

you have to go back.

The world needs to see your art.
What can I do?

Can I help you some way?
Is there anything I could do?

- You would help?
- Yeah, maybe.

Maybe tomorrow at, like,
3:00 or something like that,

I could come by and then
I could be the awkward person

holding the bags
and dropping things everywhere.

- You would do that for me?
- Of course.

Actually been
meaning to ask you something.

Something you said on the drive
really stuck with me.

You said that you like
to dance to unwind.

And I was thinking...

maybe you could
teach me some moves?

- Yeah.
- OK.

Uh, yeah. OK. All right.
Come on.

- I'm gonna put on some music.
- OK.

- Follow you?
- Yeah.

Follow me and don't
use your science brain.

This is not about science.
It's about something else.

You gotta feel it. Like, you
gotta feel it in your body.

- OK, I'll feel it.
- OK. So we're going to start.

And it's just like a step.

Step.

You got to really, like...
your chest has to

bounce with it, yes.

And then do a little uh, uh.

Yes. Uh, uh.
Now you move your head.

- Really? I'm doing...
- And you're at the club.

Yeah. No. You got
to really whip your head.

Like... like that. It's perfect.
And then we'll just turn.

- So, ready?
- Just turning?

Yes, turn, stop.
Look back at me.

- Oh, wait, so I look...
- You look a little stupid.

Let me actually
teach you how to dance.

Come here, OK.
You gotta, like,

put your arm. Yeah.

And then just
actually move side to side.

- Like this.
- This is easy.

We hear the music. It's still
fun. And then you go with it.

- That's it?
- That's not it.

You have to feel the other
person and you keep swaying.

And then you start to just...
hold them a little closer.

And...

- I got it.
- We're feeling it.

I got it. I was feeling it.
And if I'm feeling it now,

I'm... I'll be feeling
it tomorrow with Lois.

Which I should get
back to her, by the way.

But thank you so much.
Very educational.

I'll see you at 3:00.

Hello and welcome
to the 87th

annual American
Tennis Tournament.

- I'm Logan McKinnon.
- And I'm Kate Beckwith

broadcasting to you live
from New York City.

All week long, we will
be bringing you a cornucopia

of competition,
a jackpot of jitters,

a bounty of ball that is tennis,

as the greatest players
in the world all vie to have

their names written in the sky
and on the lips of tennis fans.

Time.

Her serve was just
clocked at 107 miles per hour.

What a great
start for Lois Kuzenkova.

She looks crisp.

She's really
giving Georgia Hempstead

all she can handle.

Well, the big news
coming out of camp Kuzenkova

is the firing of legendary
coach, Jeremy Jushjaad,

mid-tournament,
which is almost unheard of.

Right, because Lois'
father, Petrov Kuzenkova,

has replaced Jeremy with
a mystery man

named Beekman
Hayden.

Well, that's what
everybody's been asking is,

who is this mystery man
that's always in Lois' box?

Uh, no pun intended.

He is a good-looking man.

There's vodka in that
baby bottle. There's got to be.

Why do you say that,
Logan? Because he's Russian?

100%. I'm Irish.
We like to drink, too.

Kuzenkova
wins three games to two.

Sheldon Walker.
Ms. Stephen can see you now.

Well, right now,
Logan, Lois Kuzenkova is just

pounding away at her opponent,
Georgia Hempstead.

Lois
is earning her nickname,

the android of destruction.

What's the difference
between an Irish wedding

and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

40-Love.

- Casey Martin? Are you...
- Oh, she said she drank too much

coffee and had to go
take a giant shit.

Happens to everyone. All right.
Uh, you're welcome to come in.

Lois has Georgia on the ropes.

Lois wins the match.

She now advances on
to the quarterfinals.

Well, Lois Kuzenkova
is on the court now,

she addresses the ball.

Hello, ball.
Old joke. Had to say it.

Very good, very good.

I'm very impressed
with how she places the ball

strategically
in the no man zone.

These are actual shots
taken by Lois Kuzenkova

during the last five matches.

As you can see,
85% of her forehand shots

actually land within
six inches of her big toe.

That's precision,
and I hear she gets it

from her new coach
or the new mystery man.

Her game certainly
has vastly improved

since they've
been together.

There's this Irish guy
walking down the street

and he sees two men
in a fist fight, and he calls

over to them and says,
"Hey, is that a private fight?

Or can anybody join in?"

Love.

♪ Please don't quit ♪

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

- Can I help you?
- Get the fuck away from me.

- Get away from me.
- Oh, I'm so...

You're obviously not from here.

Why don't you just fuck off?
Go back to where you came from.

I'm sorry.

So, how
was the interview?

Fine.

Fine?

Can you tell
me a little about it?

Oh, it's... it's nothing.

It was fine,
I... I just called to say hey.

All right.

Any time you feel like it,
you just come on over

and give me a call, OK?
No rush, I love you, honey.

- You know that.
- Bye.

Do you think
your idea will work?

I know it will help her
win.

Then...
if you run with the wolves,

you howl like the wolves.

Come. Go and howl like the wolf.

- I'll howl.
- Howl. Howl!

Oh, Lois! Lois, great win.

That was a great job.

I did
the moonshot the third set.

Yeah, the moonshot was perfect.

The numbers were amazing.
You had 24% from the left side

and 43% from the right box.

And you were in the dead zone
for, what, 57% of the time.

I mean, who does that? So
anyway, this is the idea that

I've sort of been
stewing over, obsessing over.

Lourdes,
her weakness is her strength.

- She plays human.
- What does this mean?

Playing human means, uh,
playing erratically without

rational thought or
logic or any of these things.

She has a slight wobble
in her play that

can throw off someone like you.

Hmm. Yeah, continue.

You play like a machine,
like a beautiful,

well-oiled instrument,
and she plays like a human.

Um, and oddly enough,
that helps her predict

the next perfect
thing that you might do.

Are you saying
that I am predictable?

Well, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No. Um, yes. Yes. In a way, uh,
sort of.

Hmm.

Anyways, we need
to convince her that there's

something going
on with you making you

perform slightly
more erratically.

Uh, yes. And, um, and

the thing that we
are going to do is we are going

to make her think that something
is different about you.

Your personality,
your demeanor, like,

uh... like, I don't know,
you're playing drunk.

I don't think
this is a good idea, Beek.

No, no, that... that was an
example of something that might

- affect your game play.
- Continue.

Anyway. Um, yes, the, um...

She'll notice that something
is different about you

and then she'll be rattled.
Won't know what to do,

at which point you will
transform back into the machine

- that you are and pounce.
- How do we do this rattle?

We make her think that you've
landed on double zeros.

- Double zeros?
- Love.

After days of battling
it out for the big prize,

only the best
of the best remain

as the clock is ticking down
to the final rounds

of the American Tennis
Tournament. But the biggest

news from the tournament may be
the off-court fireworks between

Lois and her new coach slash
main squeeze, Beek Hayden.

Speculation continues
as to how the lovebirds met,

but one thing is certain...

Hello and welcome
to the 87th annual American

- Tennis Tournament.
- I'm Kate Beckwith.

And I'm Logan McKinnon.

Buckle up.
And if you're Irish, drink up.

As the top players in the world

seek to have their names up
in the sky and on the lips

of every tennis
fan across the globe.

That is right, Logan.

And speaking of fans,
there are 14,053

of them that have
gathered here inside this

gorgeous venue on this
gorgeous day to watch these

amazing athletes bang
it out with each other.

Oh, Beekman.

How's our girl doing?

Hey, Quick, uh, she's...
she's great.

You know, there's
photos of you two everywhere?

I'm serious. Everywhere,
it's disgust... I'm kidding.

It's cool. I'm not jealous.

But I am waiting
for you to stumble.

'Cause I just have
loved this woman for years.

I just want you
to know that I would never,

ever hit on Lois
behind your back.

OK? Not that type of guy.

And plus, you two are
just on the same wavelength.

So cool she's happy with you.

Here she comes.
A player like no other.

She plays with happy
wild abandon, like happy

puppies
and floating butterflies.

She is a metaphor and a dream,
a cautionary tale.

She is life, she is joy.

She is laughter and hardship
and pride and wide-eyed

wonder,
versus Lois Kuzenkova,

who is gears and dials
and fan belt and spark plugs.

I can feel
the crowd's excitement.

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the final match.

Best of three tiebreak sets.

To the right
of the chairs, Lourdes.

To the left of the chairs,
Lois Kuzenkova.

Lourdes has won
the toss and elected to serve.

Time.

Ah!

Petrov
doesn't like, as you can see,

Maybe that's
someone who looks like Beek?

No way, dude.

That is my bro laying
pipeage on Lois Kuzenkova.

- Dude?
- Pipeage?

Uncle Ted said that.

That serve just
clocked at 107 miles per hour,

which is fast, but usually
something Lois can return.

She looks off her game.

I'm surprised Lois
is not her usual icy self.

That's a net shot. Ooh, she
looks really rattled out there.

I wonder if her new
romance with that mystery man

Beek Hayden
has her head spinning.

Good. Good.

What is good? I don't see good.
What do you see that is good?

Hey, Beek. How... how... how high
is the net?

Three feet.

In my opinion, the hockey goal
is a little bit higher.

We've never seen her
looking like this. Almost drunk.

You know, Kate,
it's like the drunkometer.

You know what that is,
don't you?

It measures
your level of inebriation.

It goes sober, buzzed,
drunk, hammered, Irish.

Um...

Most Irish Americans...
in fact, the majority

of Irish Americans are
hardworking and industrious.

Um, Irish and American
people are industrious

and they work
hard and I like them.

But back to tennis.

Well, Kate, this match,
as you can see, is almost over.

Lois is on the ropes.
What a disappointment.

Uh, the Irish are great.

Love-15.

Lourdes has love. Beek.

There are eight billion people
on this planet and counting.

Do you just want to be one
of the billions that is in love?

Or do you want to have the
greatest player on the planet?

You promised me
you could help her.

If Lois doesn't win, I will
smother you with a pillow

as you sleep, but I will
kiss your forehead as you die.

Lo-Lois is a winner.
Don't you worry.

Good.

Wow, what the heck
is happening out there?

There's been a noticeable
change in Kuzenkova's demeanor.

It's almost like Lois
was lulling Lourdes into

a false sense of security.
Lourdes is light.

Lois was without emotion
and life kicked her ass.

Then she played like
she was in love and life

carried on,
like life always does.

But suddenly, the double
zeros have disappeared.

They're getting
banquetty, buffetty.

Where will
the double zeros land?

And there is no such
word as banquetty.

Logan, this is
the greatest comeback

in ATT history.

We're in Match Point.
Will Lois save her legacy

or will she crumble
under pressure?

She gives the ball an
up stroke and hits a high line.

It's a moonshot,
a high moonshot,

which can give your opponent
too much time to think,

too much time to plan
and to check your math.

But in the end, it's not math.

It's what's truly in your heart.

And with time to think
you either make the mistake

of your life or find your life.
And suddenly,

you know where to run.

She did it! Lois Kuzenkova wins.

The luck of the Irish.

I am so sick of all
these Irish clichés.

I'm going to finish this
drink and go punch somebody.

Come on, Kate, let's
get out of here and get a pint.

Whoo!

♪ I'm proud of my name ♪

Whoo!

♪ Everybody knows I'll be
the king just for one day ♪

Beek!

Casey. Casey?

- Excuse me?
- Hello.

Yeah. Can I help you?
I'm...

- Hi, yes...
- I'm sorry. Who are you?

You can. Um...

I'm an idiot, uh, named Beek.

Beek?

I know you, I saw you on TV at
that tennis tournament.

You are the mystery man.

Uh, yeah, uh...

The only mystery here is how
I didn't realize that the thing

that I've been running from has
actually been in my life

for 13 days,
eight hours and 32 minutes.

I'm here... I... I want
to fill out an application,

uh, for a friend of mine.
She's a really talented painter.

Oh, it actually
doesn't work like that.

There's a process that ends
in a personal interview,

which is why we call
it a personal interview.

Oh, sure I could... I could show
you any...

- The person has to be here.
- Show you this... this...

Here I go, it's not that hard.

Oh.

Uh, hi.

What the hell?

I found a door to another
universe, but...

when I went through it,

everything was cold
and calculated and dead.

It was like the undercarriage
of life, it was... it was

steel and dirt and mud, rocks.

And I didn't know that there
was an alternative

that was possible,
but now that I do,

I can't really go back
to looking at it the same way.

I... it's just night and day.

Light and dark,
and I... I don't know anything.

Uh, I'm scared to death. I can't
breathe. I think my heart's

breaking, and it's everything
I feared. But I'm alive

and I've landed
on the double zeroes.

The house wins.

And if I'm lucky...
you're the house.

I'm in love with you, Casey.

I couldn't see it
until now, but...

all those sevens
were leading me to you.

Um, well, I just came
to get an application, so.

The school's great, by the way.

Um, it was really
great to see you.

Good luck.

Oh, ouch. I bet you just
shit yourself, am I right?

That was beautiful,
by the way.

I mean, light, love,
it was great.

Can you keep your clothes
on or should I get a camera?

Well, yeah, of course.

Ladies and gentlemen.
I'd like to make a toast.

And say thank you
to Casey for having us

- to your first exhibition.
- Thank you, Petrov.

Thank you.

Beek, thank you for...

continuing to help Lois win.

For... bringing the smile
on her face.

The way you smiled when you
were a child.

Are you crying?

- Maybe.
- A toast!

To vodka
in moderation.

Oh, God,
she's drunk again.

As Nietzsche says,
"A woman that knows the why

will endure the how."

- Bravo.
- Interesting.

- Let's move along here.
- Hey, let's dance!

Let's dance.

I thought this
was gonna be

about connecting objects,

the ball to the racket,
to the court.

I didn't realize I'd
also be connecting people.

Wow, they are really feeling it.

- I think they are.
- Yeah. Congratulations.

Thank you. Thank you.

And here's the connection
that means the most.

The one that's been
right in front of me

all along.

♪ You don't have
to be tired ♪

♪ Why you still
going out every night? ♪

♪ Can't pin me down
'cause I'm moving around ♪

♪ Can't pin me down
'cause I'm moving around ♪

♪ And around and around
and a... ♪

♪ In dreams I'm incomplete,
I was seeking, I redeemed ♪

♪ Round about ♪

♪ Dipped in and out ♪

♪ Brave the waves,
get taken down ♪

♪ Shows in water ♪

♪ It's new water ♪

♪ What's the difference?
It's the experience ♪

♪ It's neither here nor
there, then where? ♪

♪ It's neither here nor
there, then where? ♪

♪ Can't pin me down
'cause I'm moving around ♪

♪ Can't pin me down
'cause I'm moving around ♪

♪ And around and around
and around and a... ♪

♪ Feeling down ♪

♪ Laying out or drying out ♪

♪ It shows in water ♪

♪ It's new water ♪

♪ What's the difference?
It's the experience ♪

♪ It's neither here
nor there, then where? ♪

♪ It's neither here
nor there, then where? ♪

♪ It's neither here
nor there, then where? ♪

♪ It's neither here
nor there, then where? ♪

♪ I hear voices lacking
true direction ♪

♪ From outside ♪

♪ Which way and lead
me to the pasture ♪

♪ Lay down beside
but faith is hard to come by ♪

♪ You don't get much
for blood and tears ♪

♪ But trust in me,
my only one ♪

♪ I can't undo what's
been done to you ♪

♪ Rescue me, rescue ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah, rescue ♪

♪ I hear voices lacking true
direction from outside ♪

♪ Which way and lead me down
to sleep lay down beside ♪

♪ I will tell you what
you're looking for ♪

♪ If I thought you
wouldn't ask for more ♪

♪ You talk of him
a little too much ♪

♪ I can't believe anyone so ♪

♪ Out of touch ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah, rescue ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah, rescue ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah, rescue ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah, rescue ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah, rescue ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah, rescue ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah, rescue ♪

♪ Rescue me, ah... ♪