3 Ninjas (1992) - full transcript

Each year, three brothers, Samuel, Jeffrey and Michael Douglas visit their grandfather, Mori Tanaka, for the summer. Mori is highly skilled in ninjutsu, and for years he has trained the boys in his techniques. After an organized crime ring proves to be too much for the F.B.I., it's time for the three ninja brothers! Using their martial artistry, they team up to battle the crime ring and outwit some very persistent kidnappers!

[Boys squabbling]

Would you guys shut up? Just go!

Last summer looked like another
great summer with our grandfather.

-Me and my brothers...
-My brothers and I...
-Whatever.

We spent most of our time training
to be ninja masters at our grandpa's cabin.

Yeah! While most kids are at some stupid camp,
my two younger brothers and I

...studied with our Japanese grandfather.

Most mornings began the same way.
He'd wake us up with a different test.

Which I was always ready for.

- So was I.
-So was I!
-Yeah, right!

Grandpa's a kind of
a goofball in a way.



But when it comes to martial arts
and stuff, he's pretty cool.

Yeah. He could slaughter
50 guys in two seconds.

- Shut up.
-You shut up!

Just go!

- We've been training since
we were really little.

You're still really little.

Jerk!

With all our ninja training,
we thought we were ready to be ninjas.

Well it was a good thing that we were,
because that was the summer...

that we would never forget.

Ooooo-oooh!

[Laughing]

Yoo-hoo!

Up here!



Grandpa, how'd you do that?

Next time, try attacking
in a non-smoking section.

- We almost had you.
- Yeah, we almost had you.

- Had me! Oh, Michael!
- What?

If I hadn't stopped the car, you would
have been called ''pancake'' by now.

- You would've stopped.
- Okay, guys.

- What now?
- Let's take him again!

Ah, two lessons you have to learn
from this battle.

Number one: never attack...

unless you're gonna win.

And lesson two?

Don't climb a tree
that's full of thorns. Oooh!

Okay.

Grandpa, where'd you get
that ugly mask?

This mask my father gave to me
on my Day of Names...

and I will continue
this tradition with you.

- The ''Day of Names''?
- We've already got names, Grandpa.

Ah, you may have family names,
but not ninja names.

- All right, Samuel!
- Sir!

From this day forward, until forever...

you shall be known as ''Rocky,''

because you are strong, solid...

and cool as granite rock.

Awesome, yeah!

Jeffrey, ah, you are fast and free...

spirit of the young, wild horse.

You shall be known as ''Colt''!

Colt?

That's cool.

What about me?
Can I be ''Monster Destroyer''?

Or how about ''Super Killer''?

- How about ''Super Dork''?
- Shut up, spaz.

A little one...

since your energy begins and ends
with your tummy...

you shall be known as ''Tum Tum''!

- Tum Tum?
- [Laughing]

- I can't wait to show these to Dad.
- He'll hate 'em.

Grandpa, will our dad be home tomorrow
when we get back?

Well...

he's a busy man...

...in a very troublesome job, Tum Tum.

We're almost there.

On time, as promised.

It is a pleasure to
do business with you, Mr. Snyder.

Now, on behalf of
the people of my country...

I would like to say...
you're under arrest.

Freeze, Snyder.! F.B.I..!

Hold your fire!

Give it up, Snyder!
You got nowhere to go.

A surprise!

[Snyder]
I love surprises.

The F.B.I., whoo!

Nice of you to drop in.

[Indistinct Yelling]

Freeze!

Get up!

On the wall...

All right, freeze, Snyder.

It's over. Don't move a muscle!

I'd love to stay and chat,
but I've got to fly.

Agent Green is okay,
and we got everything!

We got guns, the mortars.
It's like a warehouse for World War III.

- We got it all!
- We got nothing! I want Snyder!

He's everything. I want him.

I gotta go. Bye.

I hear they almost got us, boss.

Me!

Got me, Brown. Not us!

My skin was on the line today.

That was Sam Douglas,
for God's sake!

I knew him when I worked
with Mori Tanaka.

That F.B.I. guy's a ninja too?

Are you kidding, huh?!

Douglas despised martial arts!

That little jerk is married to Mori Tanaka's daughter.

Our luck, old man Mori went and married
his daughter off to a fed, huh?

Mr. Brown, this afternoon,
we pay my old friend, Mori...

...a little visit.

Right.

[Mori]
Look, I'll have them home for dinner tonight.

Ninja training is good for the boys.

- Who's this in the picture?
- It's your grandmother...

Ok, ok, but...

- I know he hates it, but -
- No, whose hand is that?

Talking to your mother!

I know your husband hates it, but

Okay, Jessica, I may be wrong, but...

...he should spend more time
with his own children.

Food's coming!

Oops.

Colt, what is a ninja?

A ninja is one who can use everything
around him to trick his enemies.

He is fast and he is friendly
to his environment.

A ninja is honest and good.

His mind, body and spirit are one.

He has self-control.
He has discipline.

A ninja loves nature, uh...

'cause he's part of nature.

Uh, a ninja never fights a battle
if he cannot win.

A ninja - mind, body,

spirit, heart are one.

And never use your power
on anyone weaker than yourself.

Hey, almost everyone is weaker than me,
Grandpa, and slower.

Don't be overconfident.

Yeah, don't be overconfident.

Okay, Grandpa.

All right, give me your hand.

Love and trust be one.

Just as a rope of one strand
can be broken...

a rope of four strands
no enemy can break.

Whoa.

[Alarm Buzzing]

Grandpa, who is that?

Stay here and eat.

Grandpa, what's goin' on?

- Rocky, let me see!
- Get off!

Shut up!
Act like ninja, not little babies.

What did I do?

Face...

Yeah!

Go sit down.

Well, you're lookin' good.

Passed my little test, partner.

Snyder! The only mistake I ever made
was being partners with you.

Your mistake was quitting.

I've made a fortune on this crew

Blood money!

C'mon! You're living in this junky place.

You obviously can't find many students.
Look at these three runts.

They are not students.
They are family.

Maybe they'd like to work for me.

I teach ninja, not murderers.

I want you to train my men.

As you can see,
they're kind of helpless.

You'll get back into training...

and I'll pay you a fortune. Huh?

Is that all you want?

Actually... no.

It's your son-in-law, Sam Douglas.

Get him off my back
for a couple weeks...

for his sake and yours, not for mine.

Or else, you not only lose the money...

you may also lose a son-in-law.

And who knows,
with Douglas outta the way...

there may be no one left to defend...

the honor of your beautiful daughter.

You are getting slow.

Old man, take the money.

Talk to Sam Douglas.
Get him outta my life.

Or I will rip out your heart!

Boys! Come here!

Attention!

Sir!

Who told you I needed your help?

I thought I told you
to stay in the house.

A ninja shouldn't be
overconfident, Grandpa.

That's true.

Come here.

- Ahh.! That's awesome.!
- Cool.!

- Quiet, boys.
- Oh, yes sir!

Before I show you this...

you must promise me...

you will not use this knowledge
unless you're in severe danger;

that you can only--
only use this technique...

to save your lives.

You promise this?

Sir!

There are a few places
on the body that if you hit...

the person will remember nothing
except how much it hurts.

You can be sure the person...

will not want to continue the fight.

- Rocky.
- Sir.

I want you to hit right there!

- Hai-ya.
- [Bell Ring]

See? Ah, now, I want
you to hit right there.

But, Grandpa, that's the same spot.

Oh, no, it isn't. Now, hit!

- Hai-ya!
- You see?

Nothing. A half an inch between...

...life and death. Now...

I want you to hit here...

here, here, here...

- and here!

I want you to practice for one hour
and then we'll go back to the city.

- But, Grandpa, I like it--
- One hour!

Now, practice!

What was it with that guy
in the white suit?

I don't know. From the way he acted,
I think the whole attack was fake.

Those swords were real, buddy.

I still don't know. I think
he's just an old friend of Grandpa's.

He didn't look very friendly to me.

[Boys]
On top of old smokey...

All covered with blood

I shot my poor teacher

- With a .44 stud
- Whoo-hoo!

- Look who's here.!
- Shut up, Colt!

- It's your girlfriend, look,
she's chasing after us!

She's not my girlfriend, okay?

-You gonna kiss her?
-Yeah, you gonna kiss her?

No, but I'm gonna kill you two
if you don't shut up.

- Hey, there's Dad.!
- Dad! Hey, Dad!

- Dad!
- Dad!
- Dad!

- [Yelling]
-Jerry, we've got that
briefing at 6:00...

- and I need that ballistics report.
- Dad! Dad!

- Hey, guys, how was
your summer with Grandpa?
- Great!

- I wanna show you stuff we learned.
- Look,Jeffrey, show me that stuff later...

- It's Colt.
- I'm Rocky.
- I'm Tum Tum.

- Michael, you're Tum Tum?
- Yeah, see I'm Colt 'cause I'm fast.

He's Rocky 'cause he's solid,
and he's Tum Tum 'cause...
he'll eat anything.

I won't eat dog poop!

It's bad enough he's got you
doing karate. They need new names?

I like my new name.

Sam, come on. We gotta roll.

Look, boys, I gotta go.

Glad you're back.

Don't forget to kiss
your mother hello, Jeffrey.

It's Colt.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Did I hear your new name is Rocky?

Nah, it's just a new name
my grandpa gave me.

I like that name. It's cute.

Uh... I gotta go.

- Yeah, me too.
- Yeah, me too.

Bye.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Hi, Mom.
- Where are you going, huh?

Put me down. I'm starving.

Hey. I think you're gonna make
a great ninja warrior.

Whatever.

You think being a ninja's hard work,
try being a mom.

Mr. Brown...

I want you to snatch those three kids
and hold them as insurance...

...until the deal with
Colonel Farouk is done.

Douglas doesn't dare touch me
if I've got his kids.

You should've grabbed 'em
when you were at the cabin.

Oooh! But I guess you
knew that already.

Snatch those kids
without getting caught...

or I'm going to crush your head...

until a slimy ooze
comes out of your eyeballs.

No problem, boss.
I'll get right over there.

Mr. Brown, the feds
have us all under surveillance.

Every move we make, they're watching.

We need some outside guys, hmm?

Uh, if I may suggest, Mr. Snyder...

three guys did some messenger work
for us a few times.

M-My sister's kid and his buddies.
Th-They're terrific.

Make the call.

Tell me, have they studied
the masters of our eastern
philosophy like our other men?

I, I don't know for sure...

but I know they do a lot of reading.

I must say...

I would most certainly
consider getting radical...
I must say...

I would most certainly
consider getting radical...

on some lonely,
misbegotten beach with this babe.

She is beauty
for modern man to enjoy.

[Man]
Hey, amigos.

This is no library. You buy or you go.

Oh, my apologies, my good man.

Hammer, go score the
frozen fruit concentrate and
those gnarly snack cakes.

- No sweat, dude.
- Cool.

Marcus, score some nacho chips
and some radical salsa.

- Dude.
- None of that green stuff.

- Dude!
- And you, my good man?

Open up the cash register.

That's right, dude. Us three boneheads
are sticking you up.

- Dude.
- Open up that register
before I have to get nasty.

[Gun Cocking, Beeping]

Excuse me, sir.
Could I please use your telephone?

Mr. Festin, good.

Listen, I want you to drop
what you're doing.

[Brown]
I got a job for you.

You have my undivided attention, sir.

Listen, we want you
to snatch a few kids for us.

Would these be any kids, or do you
have some specific ones in mind?

They're three very specific little boys.

You got a pen? Here's the address.

623 North Pacheco.

That's 623. You got that?

Cover his ears, dude.

Okay. You remember six. You remember... 2. I'll remember 3.

Pacheco. Okay, I got it, sir. Get right on it.

Don't screw this up,
or we'll have to kill ya.

Bummer.

- We got a job dude?
- Dude.
- Dude!

Your boys'll take care of the kids.

Then I'll put the screws on Douglas.

Mr. Brown, fax Colonel Farouk and tell him...

we can ship the missiles in two days.

God, I love being a bad guy.

School bites it!

- I wanna stay with Grandpa.
- Yeah, me too.

Guys, shut up. Mom will hear you.

Say ''hi'' to your girlfriend for me.

Yeah, say ''hi'' to your girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend.

Rocky loves Emily.

Rocky loves Emily.
Rocky loves Emily.

- What's going on?
- My brothers are retarded.

What time are you guys
gonna go to school tomorrow?

Around quarter to eight.

Rocky loves Emily.
Rocky loves Emily.

- I'll ride with you.
- Fine, but don't be late.

Rocky loves Emily.

Rocky loves Emily.

- Rocky loves Em--
- [Alarm Beeping]

- Mom's coming.!
- Mom.!

Gotta go. Bye.

Rocky?

Should we tell Dad about
the guy we saw Grandpa with?

We'll tell him tomorrow.
Go to sleep.

Hey, you guys, got a new stash
of jelly beans. You want some?

- No.
- No.
Hey, you guys, got a new stash
of jelly beans. You want some?

- No.
- No.

Good night, Rocky.
Good night, Tum Tum.

- Good night, Colt.
- Good night.

Choked on a jelly bean.

Okay, okay. Marcia Brady or
Laurie Partridge?

- I'd rather do Laurie.
- Cool.

- Cheryl Ladd or Farrah Fawcett?
- Tanya Roberts, dude.

Men, it's time for some excellent
breaking and entering.

Dude!

You guys want some coffee?

My wife made us some.

- Those guys look like
feds or something.
- Dude!

What are we gonna do, man?

They've all got guns, dude.

Well, my dangerous buds...

...tomorrow is another day.

And those little dudes are ours.

- Slurpee?
- Radical!

- Slurpee?
- Dude!

We're outta here!

We will protect
our family, old friend.

- Where is my notebook?
- Check your backpack.

- I left it right here.
- Rocky, get your feet off the table.

- Is Dad getting up?
- He left, sweetie.

- He's gone.
- No, cut it diagonal!

-Somebody get the door.!
- I got it! I got it!

- Where's my backpack?
- Hi. You guys ready?

Hi. Yeah. Come on!

- Morning, Emily.
- Morning, Mrs. Douglas.

- Where's my backpack?
- Honey, look. Right here, baby. There you go.

Colt, Tum Tum, let's go!

All right, you, watch!

Okay, have a nice... day.

Whoo-hoo!

See ya at school!

Sorry, mister.

Whoo-hoo!

Dude, there they go.

Awesome! Mr. Muffin Man,
catch you later.

Guys, let's go through here.

Guys! Wait up!

Bummer!

Go around that way.

- Cool!
- Slow it down.
- Slowing.

- Slow it down.
- Slowing.

Slow it down.

Uh-oh.

- Fender bender.
- Dude.

- Ooh, someone got a ticket.
- Shut up!

Not you, the kids.

Rocky.

- What are we stopping for?
- Where's Emily?

- Who cares? She's slow.
- Yeah, she's slow.

Well, I'm gonna go look for her.

Rocky loves Emily.

Rocky loves Emily.

Nice bike.

Looks like it'd fit
my little sister perfectly.

Rocky!

Let's go. Come on!

That was great.

- Are you okay?
- Nice job, show-off.

Look, I'll get your bike back.

Trust me.

Ooh, busted!

Festin, this is not going to please
Mr. Snyder, if you know what I mean.

Well,yes, sir...

...but you must understand,
the situation was intense.

There were F.B.I. guys there.

And you'd previously indicated
you wished us to maintain...

...like, a mega-serious level of silence, sir.

Place was swarming with feds, boss.

Look, you just get those kids tonight...

...before midnight!
Do you understand?

Whoa.

Brown...

...back those guys up
if you have to, but, Brown...

I want... those kids!

Hey, dude, what time
does school get out?

I don't know.
I never stayed to the end.

Dude!

Schwarzenegger could kill anybody!

Bruce Lee could kick Schwarzenegger's butt.

Give us the ball back.

Oh, does the baby
want his ball back?

- You're gonna have to play us for it.
- Fight.!

- Fight, everybody!
- Fight!

- Fight!
- Fight!

'Smatter, You deaf?
You wanna play or not?

Yeah, we'll play you.

Two on two.

For how much?

How much? We're not
supposed to gamble.

What am I hearing?
''We're not supposed to gamble.''

Well, I wouldn't wanna do anything to make
your mommy or daddy spank you.

- What do you wanna bet?
- Colt!

Colt? What a name!

Yeah, little horsey,
how about some hay?

Laugh!

Colt, don't.

Well, punks, I seem to be collecting
quite a few bikes today.

- How 'bout we play for yours?
- When we win, what do we get?

Well, if you win,
me and my buddies...

...will let you walk outta here
without bustin' up your faces.

Ooh!

- How many points to a game?
- Ten, duh!

Fine, we'll spot you nine.
You take first out.

- Nine-point lead?
- Cake!

Colt, no matter what, no fighting.

- Oh, come on.
- No fighting.

With a nine-point lead, they're dead.

Let's whip their butts.

- Can you hold my hat?
- Why are you showing off?

I'm not showing off.
I'm playing basketball.

Psych!

Four!

Five!

Six!

Thank you!

- Yes!/N- Seven!

Shut up!

You're going down.

That was not fair!

Are you okay?

Shut up.

- Colt.../N- Shut up!

Go ahead.

- Nine.
- Beautiful.

Chicken.

Noooo!

Yes!

-Ten. Have a nice walk home.
- Without your bikes!

- Colt...
- Please. Rocky...

I don't care.

You guys okay?

- Emily, I'll get your bike back.
- Forget it.

Here, I got it.

Vroom! Vroom!
Watch out! Watch out!

- Tum Tum, honey, where's Colt?
- I don't know.

Could you go upstairs
and look for him?

- Rocky, where's your brother?
- I dunno, who cares?

Alright. Baby, get the door.
It's the baby-sitter.

Hi.

Well, there you are.

You should be getting ready
for bed. It's 9 o'clock.

Where's Dad?

He's working late again on this case,
honey. I'm gonna meet him right now.

Is he gonna tell Grandpa
not to teach us anymore?

Honey, we'll see, okay?

Dad's pretty upset about his work
and I don't think this is the best time to ask him.

Who is this bad guy anyway?

There's a picture of him right there
on the top of that file.

What time are you guys
comin' home?

Late. Now you be good, okay?

This is the guy from yesterday.
He's the one dad's after!

- Grandpa is friends with a criminal?
- No way.

Yes way! It says so on the back.

Hugo Snyder. Business associate
of Mori Tanaka. That's Grandpa.

You think Grandpa's a crook too?
Hugo Snyder. Business associate
of Mori Tanaka. That's Grandpa.

You think Grandpa's a crook too?

- Oh, come on. No way.
- But it says he's friends with that guy!

And we saw him joking around
with grandpa yesterday.

We gotta tell dad.

We can't tell dad.

If he knows that they're still friends
he'll never let us see grandpa again.

I can't believe grandpa's a bad guy!

He's not!

Is he?

Okay dudes.

Operation Kick Butt is about
to commence. Synchronize watches!

- What time is it?
- I don't know. Anybody got a watch?

Awesome!

So like, Fester, how we gonna get
into the house, dude?

- That's a very good
question, O Gnarly One.
- Dude!

It seems that providence has shined
her lovely light upon us, boys.

It's pizza time!

Come in, Rocky.
Rocky, are you there?

- Hello, is anybody there?
- Hello!

- Rocky, is that you?
- It's Emily.

- She wants to talk to Rocky.
- Tell her I'm busy.

He says to say he loves you!

Rocky loves Emily.

Look, I can't talk right now, I got a ton of homework.

- My parents are gonna
kill me if I don't finish.

What's going on over there?

- Who is it?
- Pizza, ma'am.

- We didn't order any pizza!
- Uh, some kids called!

And if you don't pay,
we'll T.P. your house.

Surprise!

- Uncool, bro.
- Dude, sensitive.

Much better.

Okay, first we feast, then we felony.

Guys, I've got some good
news and some bad news.

The good news is...
the delivery guy just creamed
the baby-sitter with a pizza.

Awesome!

The bad news is...
they're carrying guns.

Okay, okay, don't panic.
We'll call the police.

Duh, there's no phone in here!

Emily! We'll call Emily
and she'll call the police.

Hold it! Rocky,
this could be our chance.

- If we can take these
three robbers ourselves--
- Then maybe Dad...

will see that our ninja
training's worth it! Yes!

- Should we do it?
- Let's ''murdelize'' 'em.

- This kidnapping is so much
better than armed robbery.
- Dude!

- Yeah, I never got a pizza on a robbery.
- Dude!

It's good 'za too. We should save some
of this for the kids we're 'nappin'.

- Dude!
- They're probably pretty nice kids.

Where are all the weapons - the slingshots, the knife-throwers?

Dad hid 'em. He doesn't want us
messing with 'em.

Oh, great, so what are we gonna
use against those guys with guns?

- Okay, you dudes ready?
- Radical.

Okay, one, two, three--

Whoa! Cool room!

Dude.

Oh, little dudes. Pizza's here.

Where are those little boogers?

If I was a little booger,
where would I be?

Mom and Dad's room.
Come on, you guys.

Last one out closes the door.

Come on.

- Ok, Colt. You've got the room at the
end of the hall Mom is redoing.
- Check.

- Tum Tum, you've got the kitchen.
- Check.

Now, guys, prepare for phase one.

Hey, dudes, check it out.

Go, Tum, go!

Hey! Found one.

Oh, no! Robbers!

- Robbers? I thought
we were kidnappers.
- We are.

Dude.

Hey!

Good luck, Colt.

Whoa.

Okay, little dude.

We know you're
in here somewhere.

We don't wanna hurt you.

We just wanna kidnap you.

Come here, you little idiot.

Little kid, come here.

Kid!

Hey!

- Dudes! Dude! It's me!
- Oh, dude, you're right.

- I'm totally sorry.
- Dude! You hit me first!

Just stop it! Stop it! Shh!
Where's that little kid?

Ha!

- Fake out!
- Shut up.

- Dude!
- No, there's no possible
way he could be downstairs.

- Dude, what happened?
- You hit me!

Dudes! Dudes!

There he is!

I'm going in.

- Dude, dude I got him! I got his little...
- Ow! Hey, that's my arm!

- Ow!
- Ow, ow!

Hey, don't hit me dude!

- Let go of my arm, buddy!
- Okay, okay, ow! Stop it!

- Let's bail...
- No objections here, dude.

There are those two little other jerks,
you get those two. The third is most muy malo.

- It's still locked!
- Pull harder!

Colt! The oil.

Wipeout, dude!

What's with the CDs?

Get 'em, dudes!

Here they come!

Don't you just hate us?

Ooh! Watch my nose, dude!
It's bad news already.

Where are you,you little dude?
You're gonna get it so bad.

- Tum Tum, you ready?
- Not yet!

Enjoy the ride!

- Tum Tum, you ready?
- Almost!

Dude!

Whoa. Radical.

Dude! This'll scare 'em.

- You guys ready?
- Yeah, we're ready.

All right!

-Boo!
- AAH!

- Stop!
- It worked!

- Serious burnage, dude!
- Oh, dude!

Sorry if it stings!

Where's the sink? Where's the sink- ow!

- Are we winning?
- Okay, phase 2.

Hold it.
Before phase 2, I've got a little surprise.

What's that stuff?

Remember last year when you were sick,
and you couldn't take a dump for three days?

This is the stuff that makes you have to go.

Instant diarrhea!

- You're sick!
- Not as sick as they're gonna be!

Move over man, I'm hurting!

Mmm! This stuff is good!

- Gimme that!
- Hey!

Those kids, man.
I'm really gonna... injure them.

Mission accomplished!

- Ok, guys. Phase 2?
- Phase 2!

Dude! Dude!

Oh, god. Where is Fester?

Dudes! Dudes, bail me out!

- Halp! Halp!
- Nasty!

Other one, other one, other one!

I say... we kill those little boogers!

- Like, I thought we wanted them alive?
- I want us alive, dude!

Those little kids are dangerous.

So what's the gag?

We go to there room, and
we find their fatal flaw.

Hello? Hello?
Okay, calling all cars, calling all cars! Be on the lookout...

Rocky?

Rocky, is that you?

Dudes, dudes! C'mere c'mere c'mere!

Uh, come over. Come to the front door
of my house, right away!

What's going on over there?

Come over. It's important!

- I'll be right there!
- Awesome!

We got those little dudes now, dudes.

Let's go!

[Jessica]
Forgive me for being
so supportive of my father.

It's my Asian side, I guess.

Well great. So why are you giving
your husband such a hard time?

That's my American side.

That's very funny.

We'll be home in 10 minutes.
I'm gonna talk to the boys about it myself.

They're probably asleep now.
Look, Sam, they love what they do...

and they love him.

Sweetheart, all I'm trying to tell you
is that someone could get hurt.

Hello? Is anybody here?
Rocky? Mrs. Douglas?

Sh! Shutup!

Okay, boys, we're coming in!
And we've got a little surprise for you!

Okay, dudes. Party's over!

Put that stuff down!

Hey, Fester, buddy. I'm not feelin' so hot.

- Dude.
- What's wrong with you dudes?
We're almost outta here.

Sorry, Fester, dude. I've got to take
a major dump big time

Okay, none of you little dudes move
until those two dudes get back.

Now, I'm gonna ask this question once.
Where's your little brother?

Up here!

All right, Emily.

No sweat.

- Are we winning?
- Let's finish 'em.

It stinks! Man, that reeks!

Not the stomach!
Not the stomach!

Thanks!

No! No! That's the diarrhea cup.\

- Emily, are you okay?
- Yeah.

- I'm really sorry about all this, ma'am.
- Are you okay?

I'll go get the napkins.

I hoped you saved some pizza for us!

- Who are those guys anyway?
- Probably burglars.

Don't worry, ma'am.
We have the situation under control.

Yeah, we can take care of ourselves.

Hello, kids. We're all gonna go
for a little ride.

Would you like me to drive?

Excuse me. Uncle, can I get paid?

Oh, brother.

Sam, we're doing everything that we can.

It's not enough. Where's Fitzpatrick?

There is nothing else.

- Mrs. Douglas?
- Not now, Emily.

Mrs. Douglas, I know
where the boys are.

- I was told to give this to you.
- Emily--

- Sam?
- Call him.

Come here.

- Snyder took the boys.
- What?

''...and lay off Snyder.''

All right, honey. It's okay. It's alright.

Don't worry now.
We're gonna get 'em back.

Freeze! Don't move!

Wait, wait! Hold your fire!

Hold your fire!
It's my father-in-law.

- What are you doing here?
- I came to check on the family.

Daddy, Snyder took the boys.

Snyder! I'll get the boys back for you.

- What, you? Come on, Mori.
- Sam, Snyder's got a ship in the harbor.

I know, Berth 6.

How did you know?
I'm a ninja. I could hardly follow him.

Simple... we followed you.

Okay, okay.

In Snyder's heart, he's still a ninja.

It will take a ninja to break him.

Come on, Mori, we don't
have time for ninja games.

- I'm not playing games.
- Give me 1 0 minutes,
I'll have a hundred men there.

Stop it... both of you!

Now, this is about the boys.

Sam, my father is
a very special man.

You read the note. If Snyder
sees you, he may hurt the boys.

- What if he sees him?
- No one will see me.

I don't know.

Sam... give me one hour.

One hour?

Mori... we both hate Snyder.

And I know that
we both love those boys.

So now, I'm trusting you to
bring them... bring them home.

Sam! Sam, we just got
a report on Colonel Farouk.

I'll be right there. Mori--

Mori?
Mori?

I told you he was special.

I hope so.

Rocky, these ninjas have guns.

If they have guns, they're no ninjas.

If they fire off the guns anyway,
the police'll hear.

Oh, that's reassuring.

Guys, we have to stick together.

Let's go, you little twerps.

One, two, three, four!

One, two, three, four!

One, two, three, four!

One, two, three, four!

One, two, three, four!

Hey, Colt, does this style look
familiar to you?

It ought to. Your grandfather
was Snyder's teacher.

Grandpa.

This sucks. This really sucks!

I'm hungry.

Great! Why don't we just
eat our way outta here?

Colt, chill. We'll get out.

We'll probably starve to death.

No one is gonna starve.

We gotta get outta here
so we can help Grandpa when he comes.

Grandpa?

Rocky, you must've been hit
in the head too many times...

...'cause Grandpa is one of them.

He's a ninja. Grandpa will come.

I don't care who he is as long as
he brings something to eat.

Would you guys get a clue!

Grandpa isn't coming. He sold us out.

You know, Colt, sometimes
you can be a real dork!

Takes one to know one, jerk!

- Hey, you guys look!
- What?

My scab came off!

Hey, what's the matter with us?

Don't you remember what Grandpa said?

Everything around us can be our friend.

Be friendly to your environment.

- That is the ninja way.
- Okay.

All right, Rocky.
So what are we supposed to do?

Are we gonna go make
the ''friendly'' door open?

"Hey, Mr. Door, how ya doing?"

"Will you be my friend and open up for me?"

"No?"

Know what?
I think we're out of friends in this room.

C'mon. I know there's a way out.
I know it.

Rocky, will you give it up?

We're dead. That's simply it.
We are dead.

He's right, Rocky. We're goners.

What are you doing?

Can you order pizza on that phone?

- Hello, security.
- Yeah, I'm in the kids' cell.

Can you call me back?
I wanna test out the phone.

Rocky, you're crazy.

Just watch.

- Hello?
- This is a phone check.
Is that you, Frank?

Wait, wait. You must
mean the guard. Hold on.

It's for you.

Frank? Frankie?
You there, Frank?

I'm sorry, he's... out.

This is very discouraging.

There is no excuse!

They're just kids. Kids!

I want them found now,
or I'll tear out your liver!

I- I understand. All right, move out.

Move out!

Please, let me catch them.
Pretty please, let me catch them.

Okay, little guy. You're comin' with--

Colt, come on!

Come on!

Let's go!

- Grandpa!
- Hold it!

He's friends with that Snyder guy.

Grandpa please! It's just us!

- Don't do it!
- Grandpa, no!

Not yet.

- Grandpa!
- Boys!

Four strands of rope, never broken!

Boys... get off the ship.

But grandpa, we can help you!

No!

[Brown] Get him.

Come on.

- We should run.
- We should hide.

We should kick their butts!

Look out!

Come on, boy. Round two.

See ya!

Hey, you're pretty good.

Not!

- Ya-hoo!
- Yeah. All right!

- You okay, man?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

Let's get outta here.

We need a plan.

Yeah, we need a plan.

Forget a plan. Let's rock this chump!

Come on, my little pets.

Rocky! Colt! Remember the practice dummy!

Light up the eyes, boys.
Light up the eyes!

Let's light this dude up!

Hello, boys!

Hello, Grandpa.

Attention!

Very nice, old man.

You taught them young ones well.

Yes... they have learned well.

What do you say? Teach my men?

No!

Shame.

Then I'm gonna have to kill you.

Let my family go.

No.

Then we fight, you and me alone.

No one else. And if I lose--

Then you die!

- And if I win?
- Well, golly.

I'm a sport. If you win...

...the kids can go free.

- Is that understood?
- Yes, sir!

- Am I a nice guy or what?
- You're a geek.

May I speak to my family
before I fight?

Certainly.

Come here, boys.

Now, listen, boys.

Stay back. Don't try to help me.

- But, Grandpa--
- What?

But, Grandpa, but what if you lose?

Remember lesson number one:

...never fight unless
you're sure you can win.

Here, take these for luck.

All right. Four strands of rope.

Whoa!

- Come on, Grandpa, get him.
- Get him, Grandpa!

Look out!

Get him, Grandpa!

Grandpa, be careful!

That was a pepper bomb!

Man...

Leave him alone!

Stop it!

Nooo!

Stop!

Grandpa!

Say good-bye to Grandpa, boys!

So much for never
fIghting battles you can't win!

Huh? HAAAA!

Yeah!

Yeah, Grandpa. Get him!

Yes!

Grandpa!

Oh! Not so hard.

I'm an old man.

No!

I never lose!

Never.

[Gunshot]

All right, freeze!
This is the FBI!

The ship is surrounded.

Nobody move. Drop your guns.

It's over. Put the guns down.

Now slowly put your hands over your head.
Do it now!

Hi, Dad!

I wanna make a phone call.

Can you lend me 20 cents?

Listen, uh... I think I need a doctor.

Mori--

Mori, I--

- I just wanna say thank you.
- Agh!

Just a little bow would do, okay?

I told you you'd make
a great ninja warrior.

Thanks, Mom.

Thanks for rescuing us, Dad.

Hey, come on. You guys are the real
heroes here, not me.

Does that mean it'd
still be okay if we saw Grandpa?

You got it... Colt.

And the same goes
for Rocky and--

- [Whispering] Tum Tum.
- Tum Tum?

Yeah, the same goes for
Rocky and Tum Tum as well.

Let's go, Sam. We got
evidence to collect.

- I think you better do it by yourself, Jerry.
- By myself?

Yeah. I got a family of heroes
I need to take out for pizza.

- Yeah!
- Woo-hoo!

- Come on, Grandpa.
- I hate pizza.

C'mon man, let me ride your bike!

No.

You rode it halfway home already,
just let me borrow it for a minute.

I don't care. You lost yours.

I did not lose it, it got stolen.

Well?

Hey, Tum Tum, look at that.

- Hi.
- Hi

Uh, can I walk you home?

If you weren't such a show off,
we wouldn't be walking.

Rocky!

Nice bike.

I think it's time we taught
you jerks a lesson.

Hey!

Look. We don't want to fight you.

Why don't you just stand aside
and give us our bikes, so nobody gets hurt?

Rocky?

Look, I'm gonna ask you again...

- ...to let us go.
- No.

- Emily?
- Show off.

Nice bike!

Thanks!

Let's get out of here.