31 (2016) - full transcript

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[ominous music]

[old-timey music playing]

[water dripping]

["Call It a Day" playing]

Hello.

They call me Doom-Head.

Now, I don't call myself
Doom-Head, mind you, but they do.

Who's they?

Well, some mysterious folks that pay me
a whole lot of scratch to do what I do.

And what I do,
unfortunately for you...



I do real well.

Now.

Let's get one thing
between us straight.

I ain't no fucking clown.

Now, Mr. P.T. Barnum
may claim clowns are the pegs

on which
this circus is hung,

but I ain't no fucking clown.

Now, you may think you see a
grease-painted performer sitting before you

who would usually elicit an
amused response from an audience,

but trust me.

you do not.

I'm not here
to make you happy.

I'm not here to brighten
your dismal day,

and I am certainly not here
to elicit an amused response.



I am here to end your
miserable fucking life.

[inhales]
But first...

[lighter clicks]

Mm.

First,

I'm gonna bless you
with a story.

Huh?

See, I don't think the last
sound to puncture your ear drums

should be the twang
of your body falling apart.

Snap.
Oooh.

[laughing]

Crunch.

Interesting fact:

did you know
that a cockroach

can live up to 168 hours
without a head?

[whispering]
I know.

I find this... fascinating.

But what really blows
my fucking marbles

like a 50-cent skank,

I mean
the real mind-fucker,

is that for several more hours
this same decapitated head

will keep on
trucking for Jesus.

If properly nourished,
of course.

You know, all in all,
you've got a pretty good run.

But, uh, deep down inside

you must have known
it all had to end somewhere.

Might as well be here.
Might as well be now.

And it might as well
be with me.

Where's my wife?

What did you sick bastards do
to my beautiful wife?

She's the mother
of our two beautiful girls.

Rebecca, Josephine,
they're beautiful.

They're just
like her, please.

Oh.

I know where she is.

Two little clowns I know
took a fancy to her.

So I think she might be
sticking around for a bit, huh?

...though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death I fear no evil-

Christ almighty,

you Jesus freaks are
so fucking sensitive, huh?

[wheezing]
Shit.

You should be
thanking me, man.

I'm sending you straight
to the fucking pearly gates

with a first-class ticket.

[gasps]

I should apologize in advance
for not sharpening this thing.

It might take
a couple of extra whacks.

Listen to me.
Listen to me.

Please, I'm begging you.
I'm begging you.

You don't have-
You don't have to do this.

You don't-
You don't have to do this.

We can both walk away.

Bring Georgina to me.

And you let us walk away,
no one would know.

Fuck it.
No, no.

You know
what they say, Kimosabe.

In Hell,

everybody loves popcorn.

[laughing]

[muttering]

Motherfucker.

[laughing]
Number fucking two.

[film projector rolling]

[rock music playing]

♪ Taking my time ♪

♪ Choosin' my lines ♪

♪ Trying to decide
What to do ♪

♪ Looks like my stop ♪

♪ Don't wanna get off ♪

♪ Got myself
Hung up on you ♪

♪ Seems to me ♪

♪ You don't want
To talk about it ♪

♪ Seems to me ♪

♪ You just turn your
Pretty head and walk away ♪

♪ Places I've known ♪

♪ Things that I'm growin' ♪

♪ Don't taste
The same without you ♪

♪ I got myself in ♪

♪ The worst mess I've been ♪

♪ And I find myself
Startin' to doubt you ♪

♪ Seems to me ♪

♪ Talk all night
Here comes the mornin' ♪

♪ Seems to me ♪

♪ You just forget what
We said and greet the day ♪

♪ Seems to me ♪

♪ You don't want
To talk about it ♪

♪ Seems to me ♪

♪ You just turn your pretty
Head and walk away ♪

♪ I've got to cool
Myself down ♪

♪ Stompin' around ♪

♪ Thinkin' some words
I can't name ya ♪

♪ Meet ya half way ♪

♪ Got nothin' to say ♪

♪ Still I don't s'pose
I can blame ya ♪

♪ Seems to me ♪

♪ You don't want
To talk about it ♪

♪ Seems to me ♪

♪ You just turn your pretty
Head and walk away ♪

♪ Walk away ♪

[rock music playing]

Hey, Randy, man, I hope you know that
"E" stands for "empty", not "eat. "

[chuckles] I am hungry,
but that's not possible.

Check it.

Oh, suck
my motherfucking balls.

No, thanks.

How am I supposed to work with
this inferior goddamn equipment?

Is that what the ladies
are calling it now?

[laughing]

Trust me, my doo-wally's
working fine.

Hey, look here boy,

if this monster break down
here in the ass of nowhere

you gonna get your lard ass
out there and you gonna push

with the bumper
up your ass.

Venus, I think it might be time to bring
back the girl into a gorilla illusion.

Oh, you all got a gorilla?
Yeah, I got a fucking gorilla.

He's in my pants.
I call him King Dong.

Whoa, hey, whoa, filly.

I assume you're joking.
I am not.

And haven't we got enough
to worry about

without you
framing up a new show?

I mean, besides, who's
gonna hustle this other shit?

You think I want to be
a fucking mechanic?

Fixing these death traps
the rest of my life?

I mean, I got dreams.

And they do not include
yanking some kid's chewed up arm

out of the gears
of a Tilt-a-Whirl.

Baby, I got dreams, too.
You go for it.

Get the fuck off me.

Hey, baby girl, I mean, what do you
think about that talent back there?

I mean, the one
with the lop-sided high beams.

I mean, I don't know
if she's drunk or retarded.

(Charly)
Seriously?

She's gonna twitch and itch
her ass all around the mid-way.

Uh-huh, just like all
the new babies do.

But that's why I afraid.
Hm?

A new wave
of crap's coming.

[laughter]

So what exactly is the name
of this show of yours?

Okay, dig this.

Professor Houldini's
Mad Gorilla Monster Show.

Ooh, I'd go see that show.

The name's got some grab,

but you're still minus
one jungle girl.

Oh, I could be a jungle girl. I took a
acting class before I left high school.

Just shut the fuck up
for two seconds.

That's where Charly Girl
comes in.

Charly hardly looks like
a wild woman of Borneo.

And besides, you know that she is
my main hustle in the girly show.

Okay, we dump the whole Borneo
shit, okay? We work a new angle.

The yokels had burnt out
on that yarn ten years ago.

What's a yokel?

What's the word on this wacky weed this
fine sunny, sunny day, sweet Charly girl?

The Midwest says sweet Charly,
she got some sweet Rasta shit.

Boo-ya-ka, boo-ya-ka.
Oh, my sweet Charly,

pass your brothers a hit.

Ah, it isn't mine, baby.

Yeah, baby boy.

(Randy) I got to keep
my eyes on the road.

This shit's the real deal.

(Thomas)
Mm-hm.

Think you two can handle it?

I try, I try.

First hit's free.

After that you lay
out the green

before Charly
gets too mean.

Shit, woman, I'm good for it. [coughs]

Mm-hm.

Levon, I got
to get in there.

[moaning and laughing]

Levon. (Levon) Go away.

Hey, it ain't
the Levon show.

Go away.
Come on, man.

I just got to get something
out of the- I got to get-

Oh, goddamn, man, can't
you see I'm busy back here?

Oh, shit,
that's a lot of woman.

Yeah, what you want that's so
important you got to crash my love den?

You're going to give
that man a heart attack.

Tell it again, I don't get it.
Who had the cake?

Oh, Christ, bitch,
pay attention this time.

There was a boy
named Harold.

Walked in on his
grandparents having sex.

Pretty much like this asshole
don' walked in on me.

Harold said, "Grandma!
What are you doing?"

Grandma say,
"Well, we baking a cake.

A few days later,
Harold say,

"Grandma, was you and Grandpa
baking a cake last night?

Grandma says, "Matter of
fact, we was. How do you know?"

Harold say, "Because I just licked
some frosting off the couch. "

[laughing]
I still don't get it.

The frosting,
where did it come from?

The old man's dick.

The old bastard's jizz
was the frosting.

Oh.

Hello, Congo,
oh, how I missed you.

Oh, come on, Roscoe,
go get your ass out of here.

Oh, shit. I'll get out in
a second. What do you think?

I think it's cute.
It isn't cute.

So do I.

[making monkey noises]

Rosco, get your ass out of here.
You got to go, now, man.

Go on, man. Goddamn.
[screams like monkey]

Spoiled the- Oh.
Come here.

Hey, see? It still looks boss. Okay?

Okay, I'll think about it. I
just have to clean it up a little.

I'll think about it, King Dong,
I'll think about it.

[birds chirping]

♪ One day an angel ♪

♪ Came down from heaven ♪

♪ An envoy of ♪

♪ Our God above ♪

♪ From this great world ♪

♪ To choose a token ♪

♪ That all his throng ♪

♪ In heaven would love ♪

♪ We buried her ♪

Hey, oldie.

Got any gas today?

It's a cock-sucking
gas station, ain't it?

All right then, fill up
this big bitch pronto.

Any of you dumb cunts in that
ridiculous machine know how to read?

Or are you still using
sign language?

Yeah, old man,
I know how to read.

Then read it
and weep, genius.

Bad sign.

Got a whole lot of lazy heifers
here in this world, man.

♪ A soft song fell ♪

♪ Within his hearing ♪

♪ He picked our girl ♪

♪ Her soul, her voice ♪

Oh.

You digging
what you see, pops?

I reckon I do.

Ooh.

You can call me Leo.

Lucky Leo, if you know
what I mean.

Oh really?
Do you feel lucky?

I got a mattress out back and
a couple of jugs of gut burner.

Hah!
[both cackle]

Trust me, Leo.

Your prehistoric ticker couldn't
survive the ride. [laughing]

Whoo!
Charly...

Stop fucking
with the locals.

Give me a break.

I'm just making friends.

You want to be my friend,
don't you, Leo?

You know I do.

See?
Just making friends.

You've had enough friends
for a lifetime.

[carnival music playing]

Nice puppets, Leo.

You play with that stuff?

I bet you do.

[knocking]

♪ The good Lord pray me
For every day ♪

♪ He want me to leave
A righteous way ♪

♪ So I don't care what
The white man say ♪

♪ Santa Claus
Is a black man ♪

You know, I'm thinking man,
when we get ourself a break,

we need to check out the
sound system in the carousel.

Man, them speakers, man,
they shot up to shit.

Seriously though, it looks like
I'm losing my shit.

I don't normally have
this much forehead.

[toilet flushes]
Too young for that.

Hey, man, look, it gonna do
what it gonna do.

Yeah, but that's easy
for you to say.

Shit take a goddamn nuclear blast
to damage that foxy do of yours.

My shit goes south.
I can't do no Isaac Hayes.

(Snoopy)
Will you teach us something?

(Venus)
I'm gonna teach you something,

I'm not gonna let
anyone hurt you.

There's only four things you
need to know about this career.

This is the answer
to it all.

All right.

[together]
Sucky, sucky, sucky.

Fucky, fucky, fucky.

Juicy, juicy, juicy.

Money, money, money.

[all laughing]

Hey, sailor.

How many seaman you got
in that tin can?

[chuckles]
Too many.

Why, you need a lift?

Mm, maybe.

I could fit
in very tight spaces.

I bet you can.

So can I.

y'all headed up
Jackson way to go hunting?

No, we're just plowing straight
on through to Harleyville.

Planning on doing
some hunting?

No. why are you so concerned
with me going hunting?

Oh, just wondering.

You got that domineering
great white hunter vibe.

[chuckles]
Yeah, it just comes natural.

[laughing]

But we ain't got nothing about
any firearms on this truck,

other than a busted
old shotgun.

Oh, what's it for?

Propping open
the air vent.

[laughing]

What if you get in a jam?

Well then I guess I...

bust out
my old trusty crowbar

and back it up
with one of these guns.

Oh...

Pop.
See you later, Popeye.

I'ma go get me
some spinach.

[chuckles]
Oh, yeah, you are.

[man chuckling]

That's the Moon Man
Halloween Party

on the night that was
made for howling, ahoo!

[radio]... we bring
you the Wolf Man Jack

Make-Believe
Graveyard Ball.

Starring the leader of the gang
at the fang, Wolf Man Jack.

Oh, boy.
Good evening and...

Oh, shit.

What the fuck
is this shit?

...we got our big Monster
Mash Party going here.

Yo, Fats,
why are you stopping?

Just because some hillbilly
sets up a Halloween la-la

in the middle
of the goddamn road.

Hop out and move this shit to
the side of the road, man. Why me?

Come on, man, you know it's easier for
you to get out than it is for Randy.

Thank you.

[woman screaming on radio]

[making monkey noises] Mr.
Monkey, I'll go with you.

[woman on radio] You ought
to know what man checks you.

Hey, Panda, wake up.
Come on out and help us.

Jesus Christ, every time
I get comfortable.

[monkey sounds
and laughing]

[on radio] Oh, I'm telling
you this is one big-time party.

What the hell is this?

This voodoo, man.

Voodoo schmoodoo,
let's move this stuff off.

[horn honking]
Come on, go.

What the fuck?

Come on go!

(Randy)
Oh, shit!

[screaming]

[coughing]

[woman]
The Wolf Man Jack Show.

[man] Well, I say all good
things got to come to an end,

and this is the end
of the line for us today.

And we sure have enjoyed having
you's all here with me and everything.

And I know y'all have
enjoyed being had.

Come back next time,
and remember,

the old Wolf Man loves y'all.
Bye, everybody.

[muffled screaming]

[man]
I bid you welcome,

oh, nameless
and numbered ones.

Tonight, we are
going to play 31.

What is 31,
pray tell?

Ah, ha, ha.
Well, 31 is war.

And as the old saying goes,

war is hell.

[cackles]

In exactly 120 seconds,
we will begin.

And all you have to do

is survive 12 hours

inside the walls of our
own private little hell.

[man chuckles]

And now,

for the survival odds,
as we see fit.

Number one, 50 to 1.

Number two, 500 to 1.

Number three, 100 to 1.

Number four, 60 to 1.

Number five, 500 to 1.

Now, what do you have
to do to survive?

Fear not.

We have some very
colorful heads for you tonight.

And they're here
for one reason,

and for one reason only.

To kill you in the most
violent way possible.

Feast your eyes
and behold.

Sick-Head.
[groans loudly]

[groaning]

Happy Halloween,
motherfuckers.

Ah, number five

Blond whore.
I'm going to bang you hard.

[screams]

Number four.
Worthless tramp.

Ah.

Number three. Retarded gringo. Stupid

Number two.

Tired little bitch.

Number one.

Filthy scum.

A competition
will be nice.

Huh?

[screaming]

[man]
Now, do not be fooled

by the man-beast
I put before you.

This is a true
world-class warrior.

[screams]
He lives to kill.

Sick-Head will not go gentile
into this good night.

[laughs]
No, I won't.

Thirty-one has begun.
[laughing]

Oh.

[woman on P.A.]
Welcome to 31.

You now have exactly
12 hours to play.

Happy Halloween.

[siren wailing]

[laughter]
Fucker.

[laughter continues]

[laughter]

[man howling]

[howling continues]

[laughter]

Jesus, man.

You almost goddamn it
- No shit.

See anybody else?
Negative.

[neck cracking]

[man] The average human
is quite resilient.

Events that disgust
us one minute

quickly become infinitely
acceptable the next.

Sometimes, the weak ones
have the most fight

or perhaps they're just
the luckiest, I don't know.

But as we like to say
around here,

the dirtier you work,
the luckier you get.

[laughter]

[whispering] Sounds like
it's coming from this room.

It could be a trap. This whole
goddamn business is an effing trap.

Okay, okay,
I'm going to slide the door.

Get ready with the pipe.

[both shout]

[recording of Hitler]

[cheering on recording]

[speech in German continues]

Pull it off.

[exhales in relief]

I thought it was Charly.

I've never been so
fucking happy I was wrong.

Fuck.

What is this fucking place?

[distant cackling]

[tauting noise]

[cackling continues]

[tapping at door]

Number four.

[laughing]

Are you afraid?

[cackling]

Are you looking for me?

Here I am.

Open the fucking gate.

[cackling]

I'm going to put this fucking
knife so far up your fucking ass.

[speaking Spanish]

I might like that.

You're a fucking Chihuahua.

[barking]

You think it's funny?

You are funny.

Open the fucking gate.

Fuck you.

I'm coming for you, boy.

Number four
always dies first.

We're going
to get so friendly,

it's going to kill you.

I'm fucking
coming for you.

We'll see, fagot.

Open the fucking gate.

[mocking]
Open the fucking gate.

[cackles]
I'm coming for you.

[mocking] I'm coming for you.
I'm fucking coming for you.

[mocking]
I'm fucking coming for you.

[panting]

[electricity crackles]

[screaming in the distance]

[Sick-Head chanting] Trick
or treat, you are dead,

I will smash
your fucking head.

Trick or treat,
you are dead,

I will smash
your fucking head.

Trick or treat,
you are dead,

I will smash
your fucking head.

Trick or treat,
you are dead,

I will smash
your fucking head!

[screaming]
[speaking Spanish]

[panting]

[cackling]

Whoa, girl!
Cool it with the bat.

I'm on your side.

Come on now, child,
let's get the fuck out of here.

[groaning]

[screaming]

Fuck.
Goddamn bitch.

You something
with that slugger.

Is he dead?
I don't know.

Son of a bitch,
I think I broke his neck.

Shit, where did he get me?

I can't tell, I think in
the shoulder blade. Fuck.

I got to stop the bleeding.
Here put some pressure here.

Ah! God!

Fuck that-

Hello, whore.
Hello, bitch.

[speaking Spanish]

Come one.
Get away from me.

Get away from me.
Come on.

Come on. Get away. I'll
stick it right up your ass.

Come on.

You want to play
with me, bitch?

Come on. Come here. Yes, I'm going.

You're crazy.
Do you want it?

I like it that way.

Who is the bitch now, huh?

[grunts]
Ah!

[cackling]
You want?

You want to play with me? Yes.

You're crazy, bitch.

I'm out of my mind.

Run, bitch.
Run.

Run. Run.

Run.
Run, run, run.

You better run,
number five.

'Cause I'm gonna go kill
number four,

and then I'm gonna
come back for you,

and I'm gonna kill you
nice and slow.

Okay?
Run and hide.

Go hide.
Fuck.

Go hide.

[laughing]

[beep]
Ah, damn.

[woman] Ten hours and
forty-three minutes.

Anything can still happen.

[groaning]

Hello, fagot.

How are you?

You thought I left.
No, you owe me money.

Don't you remember, dickhead?
Don't you remember?

[hums jovially]

How do you want
to die, huh?

How do you want
to die?

Does that hurt, huh?

[laughs]

Are you okay?

[both laughing]

Oh I thought you were my brother.

Fuck you, boy.
Fuck you.

Fuck you.
Fuck you.

Fuck you.
Fuck you.

Fuck-

You ready to die?

Just fucking do it.

Just fucking do it!

[shouting]

[sobbing]

[banging on door]

[calling out in Spanish]

Where are you?

The wolf is here.

Where are you, little bitch?

[laughing]
Where are you?

You want to play
with the devil.

The wolf is here.

Where are you, huh?

Number five.

[screaming]

[screaming out]

[shouting in distance]
Hold up, do you hear that?

Charly.

[shouting in Spanish]

[yelling]

[speaking in Spanish]
Get away!

Strike two.
Give me the bat.

Give me the bat.

Today you're going to die
for being stupid.

[shouting]
Come here.

I'm going to give you
a hard one.

[groaning]

You've got it, bitch.

Again.

Again.

Let go of me.

My fucking bat.

[moaning in pain]

I got you,
I got you brother.

I can't believe
this is happening.

It's all right.
I got you.

I'm too young.
Too pretty.

I know, baby.
I know.

Hey, Panda.
Yeah, baby.

Your momma...

[muttering]
She...

No. She-She said she was my momma, too.

[coughing] That I was her
son from another mother.

She say... You the
brother, like no other, yes.

I... I feel...

I feel tired.

[sobbing]
Really, really tired.

[coughing]

[moaning]

Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.

[crying]

I do believe the first kill
came rather quickly this year.

I'm rather disappointed.

The first one always does.

It's the second one, the
second one has all the drama.

Well, I certainly hope we see a better
showing from the remaining remnants.

We shall see,
we shall see.

[man] As we slip into our third
hour of Non-Stop 31 action,

come and enjoy
and some exquisite dining.

You may want to try
the steak kidney pie,

followed by the apple crumble.

Mm.
Delicious.

For one of you,

this, of course, might be
your last supper.

[laughing]

Those twisted fuckers.

Fuck.

This is impressive.

I hate to admit,
but this layout,

oh, man, it looks better than
me mother's New Year's brunch.

Yeah, and I assume it's all
laced with rat poisoning.

No, I'm relatively sure
it's safe.

(Charly) Seriously? Uh-huh.

What could possibly
make you say that?

Because we're playing
their game.

[chuckles]

Fuck it.
Fuck it, fuck it.

My stomach's so empty,
it's touching me back.

Yeah, man.

Are you enjoying that?

Yeah, man.

I feel it.

I feel all
of y'all looking at me.

You're judging.
Don't.

I ain't made of stone.

Look, man. What happened to me, man,

Levon back there, man,
it's fucking horrible.

I mean man, he was my best-est
friend in the whole goddamn world

before any of you mothers
come in the picture!

Your best-est friend's blood
is all over my hands.

And that's why I
and I gonna stay alive.

I don't do it
on an empty stomach.

So you, you and you,

I suggest y'all do
the same thing.

Fuck it.

I take it they're out
watching us, right?

You bet your sweet skunk ass
they're watching.

And listening.

So keep your breathy
thoughts to yourself.

You know, we can do this.
We just have to stay together.

Charly.

Charly.

What?

What is going on
inside your head?

You want to know what's
going on inside my head?

I'll fucking tell you what's
going on inside my head.

We need better weapons
than this shit.

You're goddamn right, girly.

Hey, anybody remember that
story last year, Halloween,

that church group
that went missing?

Yeah, I remember hearing
something about that.

Just recently on the TV they
found the body of the pastor

In the dumpster.
rotting in dumpster.

Mm-hm. Holy shit. That's gonna be us.

(Roscoe) Ah, come on.
No, two second-news story.

You know,
and we're forgotten.

All right, all right,
all right. Not by me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
stop eating.

Why, why,
what wrong?

(Charly)
Spit it out.

Let's get the fuck
out of here.

What the fuck?

I sincerely hope
you all enjoyed

your protein-enriched
nourishments.

The first re-assessment of
the standings are as follows:

Number one,
50 to 1 odds.

Number three at 90 to 1.

Number two at 300 to 1.

And last but not least
is number five, 400 to 1.

[fanfare playing]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and
girls, children of all ages,

with exactly nine hours
left to play,

I give you Psycho-Head
and his brother,

the maniacally
mental Schizo-Head.

[chainsaws revving]

(Roscoe) There's two
of them. Don't scatter.

Oh, goddamn.

We ain't got a fucking thing to
worry about this year, brother.

Look at these sorry sacks
of wasted meat shit.

Do we have your attention
now, mother fuckers?

[chainsaws revving]

You smell that?

Well, I think they're already
pissing in their pants.

Oh, yeah. Now, you
think you got one over

because you took out that little
shot glass bitch Sick-Head.

Well, he isn't worth a shit.

The only thing he's good for is
shooting out of a fucking cannon.

And I don't see a fucking cannon.
Do you see a fucking cannon?

No cannon.

So that means
you killed half a man.

[chuckles]
And it took five of you

to kill a little
itty bitty baby.

Oh, shit.

Oh, hello, ladies.

I am all man and I am coming for you.

Oh, we're gonna
fuck all your holes.

[chainsaw revving]

Count yourselves lucky.

You got fucked by the best.

[shouting
and revving chainsaws]

[woman] Eight hours and twelve minutes.

The fun is just beginning.

I don't hear them anymore.

Me neither. (Venus) Listen.

[whispering]
I think we should find a room.

Barricade ourselves in.
Wait it out.

I second
the barricade idea.

I'm sick of this
hide-and-seek horse shit.

Got to use your head.

They don't want for us to be sitting
around all night on our back side.

Okay, okay, hold on. Charly, we haven't
heard you in the last half an hour.

What do you say, huh?
Your vote counts like mine.

I say we hunt these freaks down
and slit their fucking throats.

All right.

[ominous music]

[man] Gonna fuck your pussy hole.

We're gonna fuck
that tiny little brown hole.

And we're gonna fuck
your eye hole, too.

A cock in each
motherfucking socket.

We're gonna fuck
your mouth hole.

We're gonna fuck
your pussy hole.

We're gonna fuck that tiny
little brown hole.

And we're gonna fuck
your eye hole, too.

[soft moaning]

(Venus)
What's that sound?

Do you hear it?

[soft moaning] It's
coming from the fuck doll.

Shh. Shh.

(Roscoe)
That's no fucking doll.

[woman moaning]

(Panda) Oh, Jesus Christ, oh, God!

Panda. Panda.
What the fuck?

Don't flip out on me now, man. Come on.

Help me, please.

I need to go home.
Everyone is waiting for me.

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Help me untie her.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

What's your name, honey?

Georgina Victor.

Georgina. But my husband
calls me little Georgie.

(Roscoe) Hold the fuck
up, hold the fuck up,

Put me the fuck down.
Panda, what do you think?

Put me the fuck down. We don't take
the chance and let her run loose.

She ain't one of them.

Look at her.
Look at her.

She might be somebody's
daughter for all I know.

This is getting crazy
around here.

(Venus)
Shut the fuck up.

Panda, shut the fuck up.

He's right,
this is not a good idea.

Please, please,
I know a way out.

I've heard them talking.
I believe you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[chainsaws in distance]
Shit, they fucking found us.

We got to secure the door.

(Roscoe) I knew it. I fucking knew it.

She sounded the alarm.
She sounded the fucking alarm.

You psycho fucking bitch.

Yeah, I know you. Tallahassee,
Moline. I know you.

Shut the fuck up, Roscoe.

You don't listen to me.
You do not listen to me.

Look at her.
Look at her.

Fucking asshole.

You are falling for her.

We've got to get something
to block off the door.

How about one
of these pipes?

Look at me, look at me.

Are you fucking going
to help me or not?

Look at me.

[straining]

Oh, fuck.

[moaning]

Fuck.

Bless you.
Bless you.

I can't get the wires.

It's in her fucking skin.
Rip it out.

Think it'll hold?

No.

Get me out of here!

Fuck.
[chainsaw revving]

[screaming]

I knew it.
I knew it.

You fucking bitch.

It's a fucking cage.

Goddamn it.
It's a fucking cage.

[singing maniacally]

(Roscoe)
Check the back.

Goddamn it.
I knew it.

I knew it. Goddamn it.
Nobody listens to me.

[singing maniacally]

[screaming]

Hi, there, Momma.
You miss me?

Woo!

Georgie!

Look what
the fucking cat drug in.

Two blind mice.

See how they're dumb.

Even the fucking mice know how to
get out of the maze, motherfuckers.

Looks like I need
a new fuck bag.

And after I get done
with pork chop, you're it.

Venus, get behind me.

You got to go through
me for her.

You're gonna be my fuck bag.
Come on, bring it.

All that chivalry
is worthless, motherfucker.

Like tits on a boar hog.

Come on, bitch. Meet Mr.
Fucking Dick Head, sideburns.

[yelling]

Panda!

Ah!

Oh, you fucking bitch.

You do like to make it happen,
don't you, bitch?

No, I'll never fucking die!

[chainsaw stops]

[screams]

[muttering]

[mouthing]
What the fuck?

I don't want to die.

I don't want to be here.
They make me be here.

We're all pawns
in this stupid game.

We don't want to do it.

You and me,
we're the same.

We're the same, brother.

[chainsaw revving]

[weeping]

Okay, brother.

That thing's gonna
come in handy.

[gate opening,
mechanical laughter]

Fuck.

[groaning]

All right, Roscoe,
I got you, I got you.

Let's get out of here before
that damn thing slams shut again.

Charly, pick up
that other chainsaw.

Fucking chain snapped.
Leave it.

Fuck.

Seven hours
and three minutes.

Ah, I believe it's time
to recalculate the odds.

Prepare to open
your purses.

[groaning]

Oh, shit.

How fucked am I?

I don't know, man.
It looks pretty bad.

Yeah, it feels pretty bad.

You've got to get this
tight enough to keep it shut.

What's that thing you say to the kids
coming out of the spook house in tears?

Why?
Just tell me.

Crying is for pussies, so
go grow a pair, you big baby.

Get ready to grow a pair,
you big baby.

[moaning]

God.

[panting and moaning]

That wasn't so bad, huh?

[man]
Attention, attention.

Number one,
odds 40 to 1.

Number two,
odds 300 to 1.

Number three,
one million to one.

Ah, fuck.

Five, odds 300 to one.

Sex and Death
are on their way.

[two sing-songy voices
in German]

[singing continues]

What the fuck
is going on?

You see anything?

All I see
is a bunch of nothing.

It seems crazy.

Waiting here
to be attacked.

Running around
with our heads cut off.

Want to give us a chance
to get our heads cut off.

[shouting in German]

Get the others.

[speaking in German]

Come with me.
Shit's going down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey.

Come on. Stay here. What
are you talking about?

Be right back.

[shouting in German]

Ain't no way I going toe
to toe with that guy.

All right, my best play
is I circle around,

coldcock him
from the back side.

Now, once I'm in place,

y'all create a distraction.

Only gonna get one shot.
So you got to make it proper.

Mm-hm.

Death has come to sing
its quiet song.

How they hide,
for it won't be long.

Death strikes once,
and then it's gone.

Where are you,
you little fucking cunts?

I want to see you.

Fuck if I'm going
to fucking stay here.

[groaning]
Goddammit.

Come on.
We're right here.

Come on,
come and get it.

[speaking in German]

Baby, behind you.

[speaking in German]

[chainsaw revving]

Oh, how nice. The women
are here to save the day.

Come on. Come, ladies, come here.

Panda, Panda.
Come, come on.

I want to fuck you.

I'm so scared.

Hi.

[chainsaw revving]

Oh, great white hunter.

What am I going
to do with you?

Would you like
a lick of my lolly?

I remember you.

I'm so flattered
you remember me.

Is it hunting time now?

Or how about now?

[screaming]

Don't worry, Popeye.

It's always
someone's fault.

Come here, bitch.
Come and get me.

Well, I am kind of high
from eating all my spinach.

I guess maybe I should really
put you out of your misery.

Ah, fuck!

[speaking in German]

Bitch.

Fuck you.

Motherfucker, come on.

[speaking in German]

[speaking in German]

[chainsaw stops]

[laughs]

(Death)
I can feel your fear.

[laughs]
It's like a strange smell.

Hey!
Scat.

You want her? Then back off,
or I'll slit her fucking throat.

No, no, no,
don't, don't, don't.

Don't hurt her.

Don't do that.
Don't do that.

[screaming]

You can kill me.

Venus.

Baby, no!

[screaming]
No!

[screaming continues]

Baby.
No!

What are you waiting for?

We can't.

Do it.
Do it.

No! No! No!

[crying]
No!

What do you want to do
with her, Charly?

[woman]
What is the next step?

We must calculate
the next step very carefully.

Death-Head
was our safety net.

But since he has expired...

Could I suggest Bash-Head?

He can't be trusted to
close the deal properly, no.

(Doom-Head)
Fuck you, bitch.

Maybe Rage-Head.
Too irrational.

Oh, fuck.

I believe there is only
one logical

and still
compelling choice.

Oh, yeah, woo!

Doom-Head.

Oh fuck, oh fuck.
Bitch.

Are we in agreement
on that decision?

Agreed.

Oh, fucking yeah.

It is Doom-Head.

Oh, yeah,
oh yeah, oh yeah.

Who's going
to make the call?

Oh, yeah,
oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
[phone ringing]

Fuck. Don't answer that
phone. Don't answer it.

It can wait,
don't answer it.

Fuck, you don't stop now.

This is business.

Yeah?

Thing is, I really wasn't
planning on working this year.

Right now, I got a pretty
decent piece of pussy

with a big 'ol ass
spread right in front of me.

Uh-huh.
Double last year's fee.

Done. I'll be there in 90 minutes.

What's that?

Fuck off.

Who was it, baby?

[sirens in distance]

That, believe it or not,

was Mr.
None-Of-Your-Fucking-Business.

Yeah, well, what the fuck
am I supposed to do?

Well, you can stick your fingers
in your dripping twat

and finish yourself off,
or get the fuck out.

Frankly my dear,
I don't give a damn.

You know, you're
pretty full of yourself.

Nobody messes with Mr.
Big Shot. Well fuck you.

Bitch, you run a perfect
game day after day.

Ain't luck, hon.
Skill.

Can I at least take
a shower before I go?

Negative.

Take that sticking ass
and hit the bricks.

["California Dreamin'
playing on loudspeaker]

♪ All the leaves are brown
All the leaves are brown ♪

♪ And the sky is grey
And the sky is grey ♪

♪ I've been for a walk
I've been for a walk ♪

♪ On a winter's day
On a winter's day ♪

♪ I could safely walk
I could safely walk ♪

♪ If I was in L.A.
If I was in L.A. ♪

♪ California dreamin' ♪

Do you hear that?

[music continues]

God, I love that song.

Shit. I wish I was in California.

[hydraulic lift noise]

What am I working with?

[man] Four hours and
thirty-seven minutes.

I can kill your whole family
in that amount of time.

[classical music playing]

(Doom-Head) I'm not
crazy, I'm in control.

I'm not crazy,
I'm in control.

I'm not crazy,
I'm in control.

I'm not crazy,
I'm in control.

I'm not crazy,
I'm in control.

I'm not.
Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Gentlemen.

Take the rest
of the night off.

I'll handle it from here.

Murder school,

well, it's now in session.

[whistling]

Hey, bitch.

Now, did you really think cutting my
head off was going to keep me down?

Oh, I got that motherfucker sewn back
on pronto, and I am feeling groovy.

[whimpers]

See, we ain't human
around here. No, no, no.

Ain't you learned shit, yet?

(Schizo-Head) Hey,
brother, looky over here.

You want to see
something mad funny?

Hey, there number five.

[muffled screaming]
Welcome to the party.

Here's your first question.

What's sicker than fucking
a pregnant bitch?

[gurgles] [woman voice]
Oh, gee, I don't know.

What is sicker than fucking
a pregnant bitch?

Getting a blowjob
from the baby.

[laughter]

Do another one, man.
All right, all right.

Next one, number five.

What is the difference
between an onion and a whore?

[woman voice]
Oh, shucks, I don't know.

Though I should, 'cause
I am a whore. What is it?

Wait, wait, wait,
I know this one.

Let me do it,
let me do it.

All right brother,
you go ahead.

[laughing]

The difference between
an onion and a whore is

I cry when I cut onions.

It's okay,
it's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, shh.

[gasps]

It's okay.

[sobbing]

It's all right.

Roscoe.

I had the worst nightmare.

How can a nightmare
be any worse than this reality?

It can't.

How long was I asleep?

I don't know.

At this point
I don't know

if it's a minute
or an hour.

Where's Charly?

Hey, did-

Where's Charly?

She went down the hall
to see what she could find.

You let her go out
on her own?

Like I was going
to stop her?

You idiot.
An idiot.

She, hey, she specifically
said for you to stay here.

Well, that's not
going to happen.

Come on, Venus.

Give me a fucking break.

[woman] Excuse me for asking, father,

but what exactly is the protocol
if we have a survivor?

Doom-Head
has never failed us.

He will deliver,
as expected.

I mean no disrespect,
but that was not the question.

I suggest you make sure
your final wagers are in order.

Lovely. Thank you, darling. Thank you.

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Right, my wager.

Five million.

I respectfully decline.
I am out.

Oh, of course you are. Playing with the
big boys isn't everyone's cup of tea.

I will take that bet.

And double it.

Charly?

All right, now we have
ourselves a game.

So, let us continue.

Charly?

[wind-up toy music playing]

You smell that?

[inhaling deeply]

Odd smell it.

I didn't yank my crusty old dong
out of some whore's asshole

for a quickie wham, bam,
thank you, ma'am,

I came to get down
and dirty.

Oh, yeah.

Please...

let them live.

What is it about me
that gives you

some impression
that I would spare them?

Huh? Huh?

'Cause if that's the case, then I really
got to work on my person to person demeanor.

[groaning]

Unfortunately,

those other fools and idiots gave
you the most worthless feeling.

And that feeling is hope.

The unicorn alive
shitting the magic rainbow,

it's but an illusion.

Life is nothing but the
stinking filthy boneyard

of dead
rotting tramps, huh?

[wind-up toy music playing]

Did you see Venus?

What are you talking about,
man? I left her here with you.

Fuck me.

[man]
Attention, attention.

[woman] Three hours and four minutes.

Oh, how time flies.

Victorious warriors win first,
then go to war.

While defeated warriors,

they go to war first
then seek to win.

Which are you?

I'm a gentle man of war.

So I'll give you a moment of peace and
tranquility with your fallen comrade.

Oh, by the way,

the doors to the outside
world are now officially open.

Feel free to wander
the grounds.

Come on, let's go.

It's a fucking dead end.
A goddamn dead end.

Damn.

Oh.
What's this?

This, this, this.

This is fucking it.
This is fucking it.

Help me, help me.
This is it.

[struggling]

Come on.
It's rising.

Come on.
Help me.

Ah!

What do you think?

It's your best chance.

You mean
our best chance.

No, I don't,
I can't get down there.

After everything, this
is where you bail on me?

No, this shit ain't over.

I can't get down there.
I can't.

You can.

Oh, fuck, he's coming.
Get in there.

I'll hold him off
as long as I can.

Wait, I'm not leaving.

Fucking go.

I'm not leaving without
you. Get the fuck down there.

Get the fuck in there.
Get in here with me.

Stupid bitch, get in there. Shut
the fuck up and get out of here.

Get the fuck in there.

At least I get to die
in the fresh air.

Hey, fuck head!

Get over here!

Get the fuck
over here, fuck head!

You trying to fight me
or fuck me?

[yelling]

Fuck you.

[groaning]

[birds chirping]

[screams]

[screams]

[carnival music]

Fuck.

Number five.

Boo.

In moments of great
accomplishment such as this,

I feel the need
to celebrate.

I found that the best of times happens
exactly at the point we lose track of them.

Hm?

We must train ourselves to extend
the moment and learn to live.

Smoke in times of rest is a great
companion to the solitary soldier.

You know who said that?

Huh?

[yelling]
Do you know said that?

[laughing]

Do you really think
I give a fuck?

It was everyone's favorite
revolutionary Marxist, Che Guevara.

Except, I think
he smoked a pipe.

I always thought I'd appear
rather pretentious with a pipe.

Look into the eyes
of a true champion.

Look.

Huh? Look in to the
eyes of a true champion.

Look in to the eyes
of a true champion.

[gasping]

Look in to the eyes
of a true champion.

Look in to the eyes
of a true champion.

Aww, shh.
[panting deeply]

That's a good girl.

It's all okay.

Shh.

Catch your breath.

Catch your breath.
It's okay.

It's okay.

There you go.

Relax, little girl.

Well, well, well,

shall we do this
white chapel style, then?

Bloody red tears,
my dear Mary Kelly.

I have to say
I do respect you.

But, um,
it's time to die.

[woman] Weapons down. Weapons down.

Motherfucker!

Thirty-one has come
to an end.

You lucky fucking
dirty little cunt.

[carnival music plays]

[man] It seems the
unthinkable has happened.

We have a winner.

[woman] What exactly
will you do with her?

I'm going to have to get
back to you on that one.

Thank you for another
exciting year of 31.

[birds chirping]

["Dream On" playing on radio]

♪ Dream on
Dream on, dream on ♪

♪ Dream until
Your dreams come true ♪

♪ Dream on
Dream on, dream on ♪

♪ Dream until
Your dreams come true ♪

♪ Dream on
Dream on, dream on ♪

♪ Dream on ♪

♪ Dream on
Dream on, dream on ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Sing with me
Sing for the years ♪

♪ Sing for the laughter
Sing for the tears ♪

♪ Sing with me
Just for today ♪

♪ Maybe tomorrow The good
Lord will Take you away ♪

♪ Sing with me
Sing for the years ♪

♪ Sing for the laughter
Sing for the tears ♪

♪ Sing with me
Just for today ♪

♪ Maybe tomorrow the good
Lord will take you away ♪