2 mattacchioni al Moulin Rouge (1964) - full transcript

- Director, that's it.
- What's wrong?

- She does it on purpose. I swear it.
- Who?

Perla, she comes late to get on stage
later than me

My dear, you are still new here,
remember that.

Yes, but she takes advantage of it,
she shows off all time, even with you.

Look...

The better you treat her the worse
she behaves. But one of these days...

I'll take care of her. Not for me,
but for you

I hate ungrateful people.

- And you have a big heart...
- You'll be a good girl and dance, Alright?

Alright. But I'll do it only for you.



- But remember that...
- I remember everything...

you are such a sophisticated girl

If you say so...

- I have got to go now.
- Listen up

when you are done with the show,
come by my office, I'd like to talk to you

Okay. I'll be back in a heart beat

- Good evening.
- At this time?

- Am I late?
- Really?

I didn't even notice.

It won't happen again, my dear

Okay, love.

Later...
It'll be a farewell kiss..

What are you talking about?

I am leaving tomorrow.



You haven't kept your promise,
so I'll go.

Dear, you'll ruin me!
What will I do?

I don't believe a word you are saying!

You are not the boss. The old lady is.

What? I am investing everything
on you.

Next week the show will be all around
Perla, the Red Pearl!

The audience will be crazy in love with
the Red Pearl!

If you go, what am I left with?

The oyster.

Look Perla, be careful!

Hey you, tell Nicolino
di bring me two whiskey.

Hi Sellerone.

Hi.

Don't call me Sellerone.
I am the boss here.

Thanks to whom?
Myself!

- I am the boss!
- Yes...

Remember when I met you
you roamed around street markets

pickpocketing old ladies.

You are looking for new girls for
the harem, like Perla, The Red Pearl!

- We must strengthen the show.
- Of course,

the rooster is looking for new chicks.

If you get shows in private...
I'll break your head publicly!

You always think about the same thing?

Think about this, rather:

Chin Chun Chan has sent a
threatening message

he found out that the dollars we pay
the dust are fake.

- Who cares.
- He's Chinese.

Who cares about the Chinese.

- You refuse to reason!
- Right,

I bet your chicks reason much better!
- Goodbye.

Be careful, if only I want

I'd cheat on you with so many people
that Khrushchev would make an army!

Hello, who is it?
Ah it's you Barone.

Yes, I am angry at Sellerone.
I'll break up with him one of these days.

You? No, I am sorry I like young people.

What? Experience?

I have experience.

Don't worry about it

when I want something, nobody can stop me

or I'd say 'I don't want it' and that's it.

No, in this case I say...

"It's mine, and nobody can get in my way".

Sellerone? No, if you get rid of him
you'd do me a favour.

Oh yes? Alright.

Take him here and we'll see.

Alright. You want it or not?

- Who? What?
- The whiskey.

I am going back and forth.
Will you make up your mind?

Bye Barone. I'll call you later.

Wait a sec.

Let me see.

I want to see.

I need to understand.

Smile.

Be serious.

- Close one eye.
- Are you auditioning me?

Who are you?

- Nicolino, the new waiter.
- Who ordered these?

- The Director.
- Ah, two glasses.

- He was waiting for company then.
- I don't know.

- Drink.
- I don't drink alcohol.

- Drink! It's an order!
- Thanks.

- Do you know who I am?
- No.

Well, yes.

Maybe you are the Old Lady.

- Who?
- The Old Lady.

It's not me. Mr Director always talks
about The Old Lady:

"Let's see what the Old Lady thinks,
what the Old Lady says..."

He says so?

I'll show what the Old Lady
is capable to do!

Better,

we shall show him.

Since you...

...you will help me, right?

If you do as I say you'll no longer be
slave to anyone. You'll be the master!

- Well...
- Don't worry

I am good at this.

My father was the famous Gennaro de
Luca aka 'the Hook'

Ah, nice to meet you!

- My dear dad...
- Is he dead?

He wanted to go to America

he made a mistake of killing
a police officer

and they gassed him.
- What?

- They gassed him. Put him in the gas
chamber. - I am sorry.

- My mother suffered a lot.
- Poor mother,

all that gas gone to waste!

Plus, my mother lost my eight year
old brother...

Eight what?

- He was eight.
- Ah, I got it,

she got a 8 year old sentence.
- No!

She called my brother, who was 8,

she called him close to her

she took his face in her hands and..

looking in his blue eyes she said...

"Your bastard father is dead.
Get the tools and go work"

What a holy woman!

Mothers are saints!

- We agree then?
- About what?

- About killing the Red Pearl.
- You must be crazy.

Why, Nicolino?

You don't like me?

Look at me.

Have a good look at me.

Thank you madame but I can't.

I am a passionate hot woman

I can be kind if I want

cute, tender

I can say sweet passionate words

You bastard, are you made of ice?

Ice?! I am all sweaty!

Very good then.

Shall we get rid of her?

Why should I do it?

You want to know too many things.

First action, then I'll explain.

Remember, get touch, at any cost.
That's the key.

Get tough and you'll be respected. Alright?

I'll do what I can.

This is the best drug of Asia.

- Just a gram of it, and you'll see
the heaven. - Good stuff!

Last time you fooled us. Here it is.

- No...
- Fake dollars.

What are you talking about? I assure
you it's good money

they gave it to me and I gave it to you

it's a standard transaction.

You are a crook. If you don't give me
the real money I'll cut your throat!

You fooled me too. You gave me
baking soda instead of real stuff.

We fooled each other. So what?

You are a crook. You gave us fake money.

Bastard!

I'll cut you into pieces!

- Your hat, sir?
- No, I always keep it on.

It suits me. I wouldn't even
in front of Chiang Kai-shek.

As you wish.

Cigarettes, sir?

- From smuggling?
- Maybe, sir.

- What's your name, doll?
- Chocolate.

I'd like a piece of it.

- How may I help you?
- I don't need help.

- People are dancing inside.
- I don't dance.

- People are singing inside.
- I don't sing.

- People are drinking champagne.
- I don't drink.

- Would you like to take a look?
- I don't see very well.

- Why have you come here then?
- I am waiting for things to happen.

When will they happen?

Do you know things?

I know many things!

You are very amusing. Congratulations.

- Thanks.
- Let's keep the distance, shall we?

How many times do I need to tell you
not to speak to uglier men than me?

And not even to more handsome men than me!

- Hey you!
- Yes? - 3 teas, right away!

Tea, tea, tea.

There is no tea. Sorry

- Is there some English whiskey?
- Yes sir.

- Coach brand?
- Sure.

- Reserve 1948?
- Exactly

- Red label?
- Red label.

Very well.
Three glasses of tomato juice.

- Have you seen the Director?
- I think he's in his office.

Oh my God!

Perla?

- Perla is dead!
- Perla is dead?

- Murdered.
- How do you know?

She has cuts and blood all over her
body. Poor Perla!

- That's terrible!
- Where did it happen?

- In the office.
- Let's go check.

Stop everyone!

Take three steps back.

I said three steps, three!

I am sorry, I am not good at Maths.

Look who's here! They guy of the things.

Terrible things.

Who are you?

A Police Inspector.

I felt something really
awful was going to happen!

Here he comes the future teller!

Stop with the chat. Everyone out the
murder room!

Out, out! Also you, out!

- Out!
- Listen,

me too?
- You too, out, everyone!

What did The Red Pearl, now dead,
do during the fight?

- He fought the dead.
- Who?

The dead pearl.

The Red Pearl.

Who are you?

Nicolino Celletti.

- Celletti?
- Waiter.

Celletti... Celletti...
I met a Celletti in Broc,

he worked for the Crime Dept.

- He died 5 years ago.
- He's not me.

- Are you sure?
- Certainly. I am still alive, touch me!

Nobody in your family has murdered
women, old people, children, uh?

- Yes.
- Who?

My father killed time during work breaks.

The director...

...who's the director?!
- Who is it?

- Who is it?
- Who is it?

I say 'Who is it'? You say who it is.

Who it is.

- Who is it?
- Who is it?

- Who is it?
- Who is it?

Calm down!

I said who is it? You tell me who it is.

Who is it?

- Who is it!
- Who is it!

- But who is it?
- But who is it?

Who is it ?!!!

Excuse me, Inspector?

The director, at your orders,
Alfredo Cerretti.

- Is it you, then?
- Yes.

Where was the body found?

- In the head office.
- In which head?

In the head office.

I said in which head?

- Ah, in his head!
- In his head?

Yes in his head.

- In his head?
- His.

- What are you talking about?
- Yes.

The dead woman was in the head
of the director.

The head office.

Office.

Head office.

That's it!

Go.

You are quite amusing, young man.

Would you like to help me catch the
murderer? - Yes sir.

But I already know
who is the murderer.

- What?
- Yes.

- Are you sure of what you are saying?
- Yes.

- You know who is the murderer?
- Yes.

Who is it?

The guy that killed her.

Wasn't she here?

- Hey, you.
- Yes sir.

Do you see any corpses?

No, I don't see anything.

Here we have a snake, a crook,
a chicken, but no corpse.

- Then?
- Then...it was here a moment ago!

- She was covered in blood.
- She must have gone for a walk.

No jokes please.

So we have two problems...

Sorry.

Not only do we need to find the culprit

but now we also have to find the victim.

Stop everyone!

Blood!

Did it belong to the corpse?

I think so.

- Can I move?
- Move!

It was her last night.

I had fired her.

You fired her? Wasn't she the biggest
star of your show?

Yes, but she couldn't follow rules.
She was always late.

And you sent her away for this?

Couldn't you just told her off?

A scolding, a suspension...you could
have called her and told her

"Miss, come back with your parents
or no strip for you anymore".

I am not seeing clearly.

Do you need glasses?

- Inspector, I swear..
- You don't need to swear.

What time was the corpse found?

- So, what time was the corpse found...
- What time was the corpse found!

Be quiet.

I am asking you a question. What time
was the corpse found?

Right after midnight.

What time did you get our of here?

Ten minutes before.

After 5 minutes the lights went off.

So maybe the murderer didn't want
to kill you.

Maybe.

Well.

Let's check everybody's alibi from
11:45pm to midnight.

Nobody can leave the premises.

Investigation carries on and so does
the show.

- Look for the murder weapon.
- Yes sir.

Come on!

Why are you here, my dear?

Tell your father to take you away
from here.

She is not my daughter,

she my friend!
- What does this crazy woman want?

For heaven's sake...

What a shame!

Good evening, you were here last time
I came.

Why are you drinking? Don't you know
that alcohol is bad for your health?

You shouldn't come here anymore!

Who is she? She looks a lot like Marisa!

It's her twin sister. A total lunatic.

She wants to redeem people.

Sometimes she comes here, then
she goes away, then she comes back.

I have to cope with her because Marisa
loves her sister.

You are such a good person.

You are right. I can't find any make up
around..

Trust in your faith. It will be much
better.

You'll find all that you look for. You'll
find good. I give good.

The good is here, where evil is.

Here for you. A memento.

- Good evening sir.
- Good evening.

What..what happened to you?

You are mistaken. I am not my sister.

I don't understand.

The bull is a male!

The cow is female.

What are you talking about?

I am talking about Marisa, my twin sister.

Ah, Marisa, your twin sister.

You speak so strange!

It's not my fault. It's the tonsils'.

The ton what?

The tonsils. These, look.

- Do you see them?
- The tonsils!

The tonsils.

Tell me something. What's going on
here tonight?

You know nothing about The Red Pearl?

- You know nothing about Perla?
- The red pearl?

She wasn't red. She was healthy.

But after 13 stabbings not so much...

- Murdered!
- Don't shout!

- Killed!
- Yes killed,

she got in the room and never go out.

I knew it. I have always said that this is
an evil place.

Good is not of this world

but I prefer to stay in this one.

- You are very cynical?
- No, I am tough, very tough

your sister likes tough men. So I am
the way she wants me to be.

So you are the murderer!

- Confetti? Who's getting married?
- Confetti, not confetti!

Say it, are you or are you not the
murderer?

I don't understand you!

Maybe you did for a woman.

Why did you stab 13 times that poor girl?

I didn't stab anybody!

- No stabbing?
- No stabbing!

I said no stabbing!

Your face is the face of a murderer!

Again...!

- You are possessed by the devil.
- Possessed?

- Yes by the Devil!
- The Devil?

Yes, the Devil!

Ah, the devil! I don't understand
anything when you speak!

Oh come on, the Devil!

I am not the murderer!

- So you are not?
- No, I am not.

For heaven's sake!

Don't be afraid of me. I fight the evil
alone, with God's help and not the Police!

A sinner can find relief in a woman,
in her being a woman...

- In me being a woman?
- No,

in her womanliness!
- What are you saying?

- You make me blush!
- No, don't blush...

I don't want to!

Let me fight by your side, okay?

I want to give you this

read it, and you'll want to be close
to me...Now sing!

Why from heaven's door, clear soul
have you come down,

Why? Why?

My redeemed soul!

- Have you read my booklet?
- Yes.

You are safe. The Devil will leave you
alone if you are close to me.

Why do I see devils that want to kill
me everywhere?

Those devils are the regrets.

- Regrets?
- Regrets of your conscience

Look, this memento will help you.
Take it and adore it.

Ah, okay I get it.

- I have to adore it.
- No, no, to smell it.

You'll see. You won't suffer anymore for
your regrets.

- Regrets, again?
- No, don't worry

I'll protect you. We are one.

Your mission is the same as mine.

- Mine?
- Yes mine.

Yes, you are right. Mine.

Shame! Shame on you! Why do you
show your legs like this?

- Why, are they ugly?
- No, they are nice!

And for this you must cover them!

Nice legs are a tool of the Devil!

Wait. Let me give you something.

Here

take this booklet.

Follow it and you'll laugh at all the
devils of Hell!

Study it, my dear, read it!

The touch is enough for me, thanks
to my experience in the Narcotics.

- Was he selling?
- No, she was.

- Who?
- Teresa.

- Who is it?
- Marisa's twin sister.

The "Redeemer".

- Inspector, I have found this.
- What is it?

Everyone turns into a cop when
there's a murder around!

Ah, a dagger!

There's something written on it,

it looks like the murder weapon!

- Good girl, you are smart.
- Yes Inspector!

Nicolino, be careful.

- Nicolino, my assistant, he's useless
- Not true inspector,

Look 13 daggers, one for each stabbing!

Plus one extra that you have....#
and all adds up!

- No, no, they don't.
- Oh yes they do.

Oh well, that's it. I don't care.

This dagger is what matters because it
has got blood on it.

- That knife is familiar.
- Shush, there's something written:

"Stop looking for the murderer of
The Red Pearl

I have killed her because
she is the Devil".

- The Devil?
- Be quiet!

"May God forgive me, my intentions were
good". Signed, Teresa the Pure. Who is it?

- It's the twin sister.
- Do you know her?

I do.

She gave me this.

Go get her.

Let's go, come on.

So, nobody can tell the reason why
this woman Teresa...

...killed The Red Pearl?

Well, well, well. Actually not well at all.

The usual silence.

Inspector, inspector! Teresa
vanished but nobody saw her leaving!

- But she isn't here!
- Well!

Actually, not really well.

This means she has accomplices.

Do you know this knife?

- Is it yours?
- No.

Then...

- ... is it yours?
- No!

Chin Chun Chan?

No.

- Is it yours?
- No, it's his.

You never speak, but when you do
you make a mess.

- Alfredo Cerrutti, it's you!
- It's you!

Now all is clear. You paid her to kill the
girl.

- Inspector, are you kidding?
- I never do!

You were afraid she would be
caught and and would confess

so you killed her and hid the corpse.

I am innocent, I swear!

Gas?

Acid?

hydrochloric acid?

You are turning white!

- Inspector, what are you talking about?
- How did you make the body disappear?

Two corpses, you hid the Pearl's too.

I know nothing of this.

Marisa, say something please. Speak!

Help me, I am in trouble!

What should she say?

Very good, Sellerone

you are such an idiot.

Get ready for the final turn of events!

I am Teresa.

These are her jewellery.

- The jewellery!
- Yes indeed.

Why did you arrange this farce?

Making Teresa guilty

I could save the real culprit and nobody
would pay for this.

You think I believe your fake stories?

Who is the real murderer?

The man I myself convinced to kill Perla
in the name of my love.

I meant get rid of her

but he is an idiot and thought
I meant kill her.

Nicolino...

- Nicolino, why did you do it?
- What?

- This woman is crazy!
- Go back to your place!

When I found out that Perla was killed
I understood he had done it.

I had to save him at any cost, poor him!

Then, you are murderer, confess!

- Confess!
- What are you talking about!

I am innocent!
Don't look at me like that

I am pure!

You are the murderers, all murderers!

Mother! They are killing your son!

I am innocent! Why do you want to
kill me?

Good evening, I am Inspector
Dall'Ara, where's the head office?

Straight to the right.

There is already a Police Inspector.

What?

Yes, he has been here for a while now.

The inspector has
been here for a while?

- This is where there was a murder?
- Yes, unfortunately.

I don't understand.

Let's go there.

You can't do it, you can't!

I am not the murderer!

Do you remember me?

I didn't kill The Red Pearl!

Who is it?

It's true.

- Believe him.
- It's true, it's true, angels exist!

As you can see I am still alive.

Look at her! If she is dead I want to
die three times a day!

You saved a poor child of a mother!

- Thanks!
- Stop everyone! - Who is it?

Stop everyone!

The Red Pearl, you are under arrest
for crime simulation.

- But...
- Excuse me? Ciccio Di Magria.

- Ciccio Di Magria?
- Yes.

- Who are you?
- I am myself.

I am the great, devilish star hunter of
the world!

I have arranged this play to launch
the best star of the strip...

The Red Pearl!

- This scene on a stage...
- Stage?

I'll send you all to Regina Coeli!

- And you were the fake inspector?
- Well...

You like to joke around with the Police?
- Never!

Now you'll see journalists,
photographers etc.... Come in guys!

It's the end.

Come on, shoot!

No, please, don't shoot! Do it for my
children...

- Which children?
- The children that I will have.

- Shoot the pictures!
- Ah, the pictures..

Move away. Shoot her!

- Here the journalists. Very good guys!
- Which journalists?

Listen up, Inspector:

"So a great marketing farce was
discovered by

the wits, readiness, intuition

of the great Inspector Dall'Ara."

- Me? How did they know already?
- Inspector, journalists know everything,.

Well, I had arranged everything in details.

And you

how did you come up with the
character of Teresa?

- To smuggle drugs in the memento.
- Ah, very well!

- So do you confess?
- No...

- Smuggling drugs and...
- Drugs?!

- It was fake drugs.
- Fake?

Chin Chun Chan was giving me baking
soda so I was paying him with fake dollars.

- Ah, very well!
- Let's make a toast, then!

- Boy, champagne for everyone!
- Wait a moment, Sellerone.

Before giving orders, ask permission
to the Director.

- What? Who?
- Ask Nicolino.

He deserved a promotion.

To award him for all he's been through,
I promoted him director.

- What about me?
- You?

You will be a waiter.

Boy, champagne for everybody!

What about this knife full of blood?

- The knife again?
- ...whose is it?

- Is it yours?
- No.

- Yours?
- No.

No, no, no.

Then, it must be yours.

Inspector, why does a knife with red
stains make you think about murders?

- It's blood!
- No, it's tomato juice!

- Tomato juice?
- Do you want to taste it?

- Taste it...
- Wait a second.

Where are you going?

Inspector Di Magria, please taste it.

It's good.

Eat it all!

It contains all vitamins of the alphabet:
A, B, C, D, E

- F.
- I.

- N.
- E.

Fine.