20th Century Women (2016) - full transcript

That was my husband's Ford Galaxy.

We drove Jamie home from
the hospital in that car.

My mom was 40 when she had me.

Everyone told her she was too old
to be a mother.

I put my hand through the little window,

and he'd squeeze my finger,

and I'd tell him life was very big...

and unknown.

And she told me that there were animals

and sky and cities...

...music, movies.



He'd fall in love,

have his own children,
have passions, have meaning,

have his mom and dad.

When they got divorced,

my father moved back east
and left the car with us.

He calls on birthdays and Christmas.

Last time I felt close to him
was on my birthday in 1974.

He bought me mirrored sunglasses.

I saw the president fall down the
stairs...

and I threw up on the carpet.

Since then it's just been us.

I don't understand. What about you?

I'm staying here with him 'til the plane
gets safely away.

No, Richard, no.
What has happened to you?



- Last night we—
- Last night we said a great many things.

Listen, Captain,
I am having a party tonight,

it's my birthday actually,

and I would like you to drop by
so I can feed you.

It's not necessary, Mrs. Fields.

No, Dorothea. No, I— I insist. Please?

That way I— I can thank you.

It was a beautiful car.

Mom, it...

smelled like gas
and overheated all the time...

and it was just old.

What?

Well it wasn't always old.

It just got that way all of a sudden.

You know...

when the firemen come...

people don't usually
invite them over for dinner.

Yeah? Why not?

Why can't she just move on
and be happy with me

rather than...
lingering on him?

My mom just makes me feel
like I'm not good enough.

It's just, I'm constantly
being compared to my dad.

Oh, hey, sorry.

Uh, Jamie's not here right now.

They're not home.

Don't.

I'm taking a picture of everything
that happens to me in a day.

I don't like having my pictures taken.

I didn't happen to you.

Hello?

- Hey.
- Hi.

Hi. Here.

- You okay?
- You aren't gonna believe what happened.

What?

Our car burst into flames
in the parking lot.

- It wh—
- Seriously?

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

You know, we're okay.

- How did it happen?
- Well I don't know.

They— they said it was probably
just something electrical.

We walked out and it was
just sitting there... on fire.

Oh, man.

- Yeah.
- I'm sorry.

So... what happened?

They never tell you anything,
I— They won't—

I won't know anything for like a week.

Oh.

And I'm— I'm gonna be late on rent.

That's okay. Don't worry about that.

Thanks.

Oh, God.

What if you had been in the car?

I wouldn't be here.

You would've missed me?

Don't joke.

It was so much easier
before you got all horny.

It— it's not like you don't...

Do it?

Friends can't have sex
and still be friends.

I like us like we are, okay?

Okay.

Jamie!

Could you come help me
set up, please?

Can my mom just chill out?

She's compensating for her loneliness.

Dorothea, all that is really
beautiful molding there.

- It is.
- I want to continue that around the side.

Right so we're gonna
have to re-match that.

Now is that—
is that actually wood...

- That is wood.
- or is that plaster?

No, the plaster is underneath it.

The molding on the outside there is wood.

- So...
- Okay.

It's gonna take a little bit of time,
but...

Well, we've got...

Okay, no, it's good.

Actually, it was, it was built in 1905,

and the same family had it forever,

but they lost all their money
during the war,

and then there was a fire and...

You should've been here for that.

Anyway, so, it was just a mess.
They let it fall apart.

Then a bohemian inherited it
in the '60s,

then a bunch of free spirits moved in,
and they lost it to the bank.

It's beautiful.

Oh, I— I completely fell in love with it.

We're connected to the dirt
'cause we came from the dirt.

The dirt is made of stars and stardust,
in the same way we are,

so when you put your hands
into that dirt

and feel the Earth Mother...

- Uh, William?
- Mm-hmm?

It looks as though I'm gonna be
in need of a car.

Do you think you have something
for me out there, cheap?

Maybe that '49 Deluxe?

I think we can work something out.

Maybe we'll trade for rent or something.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

Okay. Got through that one.

All right. Just, um...

give me a minute and then come out.

My mom was born in 1924.

When she was my age
people drove in sad cars

to sad houses with old phones, no money,
or food, or televisions...

but the people were real.

When she was 16,

the war broke out
and she had to leave school.

Her dream was to be a pilot
in the Air Force.

She actually went to flight school.

But the war ended
before she was done.

She became the first woman to work

in the Continental Can Company
drafting room.

Then she met my dad...

and then I came.

Then they got divorced.

But people from her time
never admit anything went wrong.

- What do you mean?
- I'm sorry.

He's too young to have an account
in his name only, little guy.

No. He— he's a person.

He's not half a person,
and he's not some cute little guy.

He has volition and autonomy
and privacy.

He needs a bank account.

Can you do that for us?

Now, Jamie, you can't just keep
skipping school and making excuses.

Well wait a minute, why not?
Why can't he just skip school

if he— if he has a legitimate
need to be away?

Well, then I need a legitimate
real note from you...

- Okay.
- with your real signature.

Wow, how did you forge
my signature so well?

That is ingenious!

But you should never
forge someone's signature

or do anything
behind someone's back.

Please excuse Jamie
from school this morning.

He was doing volunteer work
for the Sandinistas.

Please excuse Jamie
from school this morning.

He was involved in
a small plane accident.

Fortunately, he was not hurt.

You're gonna be in for
a legendary surprise.

It's mahogany underneath.

She's always trying to
bring a man into my life.

This is probably Honduran mahogany.

Really fine, very...

- This is, like, really, really boring.
- Hey, come on, watch it.

He's talking about, like, wood and stuff.

He's helping me out.
Restore the house, okay?

IBM?

She writes down her stocks every morning.

Two-hundred and thirteen point two.

GE?

Um, 51.62.

She smokes Salems
because they're healthier,

wears Birkenstocks
because she's contemporary.

She read Watership Down

and learned how to carve rabbits
out of wood.

And she never dates a man
for very long.

Thank you, bye bye.

Good night, Dorothea.

- Good night.
- Bye.

So, I'll see ya later.

Just don't hang out with
that Chris guy anymore, okay?

- Good night.
- He's a skeez and he's kinda dumb.

- Exactly.
- Good night, Dorothea.

- Happy Birthday.
- Bye, Julie.

Stop.

What?

Thinking that you know
everything that's going on.

No, I don—
I just think that, you know,

having your heart broken is a tremendous
way to learn about the world.

Okay.

Do you think you're happy?

Like...

as happy as you thought you'd be
when you were my age?

Seriously?

You don't ask people questions like that.

You're my mom.

Especially your mom.

Look, wondering if you're happy

is a great shortcut
to just being depressed.

Give me that.

What is that?

It's The Raincoats.

Can't things... just be pretty?

"Pretty" music is used
to hide how unfair and corrupt society is.

Ah.

Okay, so...

they're not very good,
and they know that, right?

Yeah, it's...

It's like they got all this,
this feeling,

and they don't have any skill,
and they don't want skill,

because it's really interesting

what happens when your passion
is bigger than the tools

you have to deal with it.

It creates this energy
that's— that's— that's raw.

Isn't it great?

My son was born in 1964.

He grew up with a meaningless war...

with protests, with Nixon...

with nice cars and nice houses...

computers, drugs, boredom.

I know him less every day.

He said it was just a game.

You breathe real hard
and another kid

He said you're supposed to come to
a few seconds later...

- Dude, can I try?
- Yeah.

but it took Jamie almost
a half an hour to wake up.

Going to get help!

- You all right?
- He's fine.

Can you tell me your name?

Jamie Fields.

You got lucky this time.

Lack of oxygen to the brain
can cause brain damage,

comas... even death.

Jamie, why would you do something
so dangerous?

I don't know. Um...

I mean, everyone was doing it.

So you just went along with it?

- It looked like fun.
- That's just dumb.

Why would you do something
so stupid?

Just following along?

You— you know you almost died, right?

- You don't need to worry about me.
- Why didn't you think?

Jamie! Hey!

Jamie...

What— what is going on?
What, why—

What? You're not
gonna talk to me now?

I'm not the one who doesn't talk.

What? Come on.

You scared the hell out of me!

Why— why did you hurt yourself
like that?

Why do you smoke yourself to death?

Hey!

Why are you fine being sad and alone?

I, uh...

I... You... You c—

You can't talk to me like that.
We don't—

You don't say that to me.

♪ This day and age we're living in ♪

♪ Gives cause for apprehension ♪

♪ With speed and new invention ♪

♪ And things like third dimension ♪

♪ Yet we get a trifle weary ♪

♪ With Mr. Einstein's theory ♪

♪ So we must get down to Earth
at times ♪

♪ Relax, relieve the tension ♪

♪ No matter what the progress ♪

♪ Or what may yet be proved ♪

♪ The simple facts of life are such ♪

♪ They cannot be removed ♪

♪ You must remember this ♪

♪ A kiss is still a kiss... ♪

I think history has been tough on men.

I mean, they can't be what they were,

and they can't figure out what's next.

What are we talking about?

Men?

I think history and men?

I mean who are your heroes nowadays?

A bunch of privileged drug addicts?

I think maybe you guys
can help me with Jamie.

I think... he needs help...

in figuring out how to be himself
in all this mess.

And I can't be there.

I can't be there with him.
I have to let go.

Is this because of the fainting thing?

- He's fine.
- No.

It's because of everything.

I don't understand what—
What are you asking?

Well, how do you be a good man?

What does that even mean nowadays?

He's— he's only got me.
It's just—

Think about it. It's not enough.

- You're serious?
- Yeah.

What about William?
William's a guy. That's—

He can talk to him about guy things.

Have you ever seen them
have a conversation?

They have nothing in common.
They don't connect.

It's just not working.
I mean, I thought about that.

He...

Well, he likes you and you.
He likes you a lot.

- That— that's...
- He's my friend.

I don't want to be his mom.

Yeah, no. I'm his mom.

I mean don't you need a man
to raise a man?

No. I don't think so.

I mean,

I think you're what's gonna work for him.

I mean... you know him better than anyone.

You know that, and...

you care about him.
You can watch out for him.

And you just share your life.
You're a talented person.

Show him what you're interested in.

You know, he would be lucky to have that.

Help me with what?

Oh, go through this part of your life.

It's not easy. It's not easy for anybody.

- You asked them to help me?
- Yeah.

No, they— they get it.

So they said yes?

Yeah.

- Fuck.
- Hey!

You just feel guilty
'cause it's just me and you.

You don't know what I'm feeling.

Just tell me.

Kid...

You never tell me what you're gonna do.
You just do it.

I got the keys to my stepmom's car.

I'm going to The Starwood.

Tanya and Michelle
are both gonna be there.

Hey, you guys going to LA?

Yeah, I am.

Can I come?

...kissed a girl? Are you ready?

Are you gonna— are you gonna
get with some chick there?

That was Jamie.

He is in, uh, LA.

He and some friends went to a show.

- Oh.
- Yeah. He wanted me to tell you.

Okay.

Aren't you worried or—

He's mad at me and this is his way
of dealing with it...

and he has every right to be mad.

Yeah, but if it makes him this mad,

then maybe it wasn't a good idea.

♪ Got television, got supervision ♪

♪ No decisions for you ♪

♪ Media blitz, media blitz,
media hits, we rule ♪

♪ Don't steal your eyes
off the TV screen ♪

♪ Can you realize we're what we've seen? ♪

♪ Take an injection— ♪

Maybe...

Maybe I did the wrong thing.

Oh, I—

- With the kid, I mean.
- Yeah, I know.

I think that Jamie's energy
is very...

unstable.

Yeah. Well, you're right.

Then, though,
there's an energy crisis.

Maybe that plays into it in some way.

I'm sorry.

You don't have very many
funny lines, do you?

Okay.

Jamie?

Jamie?

Hey.

Hey.

- Everything okay?
- Yeah.

Can I come in?

Sure.

So I had this new idea
for— for my photography

that I was gonna take a picture
of everything that I owned

so it would be a self-portrait of myself
through the stuff that I have.

Can I show you?

That's a bra, birth control,

um, photography by Susan Sontag,
shoes, underwear,

a picture of a picture of my mom.

I'm gonna do a bunch of 'em.

It's a little bit— It's a little bit sad.

You know, all this stuff together.

I don't know why that is.

Not— I mean...

Do you know what I mean?

It's really beautiful, Abbie.

Do you want to fool around...
with me?

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I do.

You know, I'm recovering
from cervical cancer.

I know.

Your hair smells good.

I make my own shampoo.

Of course you do.

Oh.

It's okay, Jeeves, he's back.

You can relax now.

Where were you?

I went to The Starwood.

Saw a show in LA. Had a lot of fun.

Are you drunk?

Don't.

What's wrong?

Tim Trammer came inside me.

I don't want to hear this shit.

We broke
into that old pool at the rec center.

Got loaded.

Fucked around.

And me and Tim ended up
in his mom's Maverick.

Did you just cum?

Yeah.

You said you'd pull out.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I thought we had a deal there.

Fuck.

What are you gonna do?

It'll be fine.

Your mom asked me to, like,
help raise you.

Yeah, I know.

She was raised in The Depression.

Everyone helped raise everyone.

You know,
the whole neighborhood raised the kids.

Sorry.

Can we do therapy?

Jesus, I don't want
to do therapy right now.

- Let's just role play.
- Please, no.

I'll be your mom, and you can tell her
what you want to tell her.

Just do it.

I don't want to talk to my mom right now.

What would you say to her?

Okay.

I don't need your help, Mom.

I've got it.

I'm okay.

Um, I'm gonna need a story.

What?

A story.

- What do you mean?
- Like a... a story.

Um... where... I'm...

I'm just a normal woman,

and you're a photographer,

and so you're photographing me,
but while you're doing it...

you can't help yourself,
and you start touching me.

And you touch me...

and you say...
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Really?

I can't just be myself?

No.

Okay, so— Do I just, uh...
- Okay.

Hey, nice to meet you.
- Oh, Hi.

Do I just look in the camera,
or should I look... off to the side?

Let's start that way,
looking in the camera.

Okay. Should I smile?

- Do you like to smile?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Uh, oh, you took it.

I thought you were gonna
say like, "One, two, three..."

- No.
- Okay.

- I just wait for the moment.
- Okay.

- I just have to fix something.
- Okay.

- Just right here.
- Um, oh.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, God. No, it's all right.

I don't mind. I'm just—
Never done this before.

I, um, so I'm just a little bit nervous,
but, um, I can, um,

wear my hair differently if you want.
- Abbie...

Yeah?

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Julie and I
have been friends since we were little.

She likes to say
she's self-destructive.

Her mother is a therapist.

We used to talk and I...

had a better sense of what was going on
with you. I worry that...

She makes Julie attend
her teen group sessions.

How about the possibility...

that you're choosing boys
who are inappropriate...

unconsciously?

When her mother remarried, Julie changed.

I love this shirt! Don't get me wrong...

When her half-sister Amanda

was born with cerebral palsy,
she changed more.

Wow, it looks really pretty on you.

Brings— Just— just makes
your whole face pop.

Like soda. Like pop.

She started fooling around.

She started
sneaking into my house.

Sleeping over.

Why'd you do it?

'Cause I'm crazy.

You wish you were crazy.

Scratch me.

We should go
up the coast somewhere.

Just me and you.

Julie works at the La Cumbre Plaza mall.

Spring Rain features cinnamon, jasmine,
lily of the valley and rose.

"Sex is a commitment.

Once you're there, you can't
go back to holding hands,

and when you give yourself,
both mentally and physically,

well, you're completely vulnerable."

All he cares about is his new wife,
and her birthday,

and Christmas with her
and her family,

and inviting all of her family to our—

Spring Rain features cinnamon, jasmine,
lily of the valley and rose.

"Of all the misconceptions about love,

the most powerful and persuasive

is the belief
that falling in love is love,

or at least one of the
manifestations of love."

Love is supposed to be
a feeling that you feel.

People say that they're falling in love,
but they're not actually falling in love.

It's a fake connection
that you feel with someone...

and marriage should never happen.

You should have died.
It should have been you!

Die!

Hey, Julie.

- Hey.
- Hi.

So come on in. It's okay. Come in.

He's not up yet. He, uh...
- Yeah.

Yeah, he got in kinda late.

Okay, you wanna help me
bring this stuff in?

So is, uh, Jamie okay?

Yeah, he's okay.

Yeah, I— I heard him come in last night.

- Oh.
- I was— I was awake.

Right.

Yeah, I was just—
Couldn't sleep, so I was...

you know, listening for him.

How was the show?

It was good.

Next time you take a trip
just let me know, okay?

I won't make too much dinner.

Hey, do the stocks with me?

Here.

Okay. IBM?

IBM, 69.73.

Xerox? You okay?

Xerox, 53.92.

- Stop.
- Okay.

Fifty-three point nine two.

Listen.

Abbie has her appointment today
and I can't be here.

I have to go to work,

so I was hoping that maybe
you could be here

when she gets back
in case she needs some support.

She's going through a lot.

Okay, well, like, what if it's,
like, bad news or something?

Well, you can handle it.

Or if you can't,
you have to start somewhere.

Men always feel like
they have to fix things

for women
or they're not doing anything,

but some things just can't be fixed.

Just be there.

Somehow that's hard for all of you.

Mom, I'm not "all men."
Okay? I'm just me.

Well, yes and no.

What if I have to have full-on chemo...

or get a hysterectomy?

Do you know what that is?

Look, I should just
go with you, you know? I mean...

Your mom did tell me
to share my life with you.

Yeah, I know.

You don't—

Don't worry about her.
She's—

she's from The Depression.

Yeah.

It's good news, Abbie.

There were no malignant cells.

Your biopsy's benign.

And in the future?

There was damage to the muscle wall,
from the surgery.

You have an incompetent cervix.

Incompetent?

It may not be strong enough
to go full term during pregnancy.

As the baby grows, the cervix widens.

If it's weakened, it's likely
to open prematurely.

I'm gonna be okay.

He said that I probably
can't have kids.

Was having Jamie, like...

the biggest thing
that ever happened to you?

I guess so.

- Sorry.
- It's okay.

You'll get through this.

You will get through it.

You will do it.

You'll— This is the really hard part.
And then what happens is,

there's a hard part
and then it gets better.

And then it gets hard again,
but never mind.

I shouldn't have told you that part.

I should have just said it gets better
and then that's it, but...

You got birds?

Is that okay?

Yeah.

So did you name them?

Not yet.

They're a boy and a girl,
and...

that they're monogamous
for life, so if...

one of them dies, then the other one...

will die like a week later.

Wow.

Well how 'bout
Maximilian and Carlotta?

I— I—

You know,
they deserve something grand

if they're gonna be monogamous
their whole lives.

Right?

Aw.

Max and Carlotta are really good names.

So, um, you—

you went to the doctor's
and you waited with her.

Yeah.

But I— I told you to wait here.

I, um,

I thought it'd be better to, uh, go and...

really be there.

Wow.

She's really upset.

That must have been a lot to deal with.

I'm fine.

I'm good.

I— I learned a lot.

Abigail Porter?

"Home pregnancy tests

that women can do safely and easily.

A small revolution for women
seeking to take control of their lives."

What the fuck is this?

It's a pregnancy test.

Um,

Abbie's doctor said that, uh,

she wouldn't be able to have kids.

Why'd she take you?

- Is that all of it?
- Yeah.

That's a lot.

- Now what?
- Um...

"Shake for ten seconds."

Okay, um...

Um... "Leave undisturbed for two hours."

Two hours?

That's what it says.

Okay, if it appears, then you're positive,

and if no ring appears here,
then the test is negative.

What do we do for two hours?

Guys don't smoke like that.

Don't hold it like that.

Like... this,

between your two fingers.

- That?
- Yeah. That's better.

Okay now walk. Do like a...

a cool cigarette walk.

Guys aren't supposed to look like

they're thinking about
what they look like.

Watch me.

See?

Smoking's gross.

No, it's not.

It gives you cancer.

This is just my opinion.

I think being strong
is the most important quality.

It's not being vulnerable,
it's not being sensitive.

It's not even—
Honestly, it's not even being happy.

It's about strength

and your durability
against the other emotions.

No ring.

No ring.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Thanks for coming with me.

Yeah, totally.

I made you this.

- It's a mix tape.
- Yep.

These were a bunch of songs that...

I think my life
would have been better

if they had been around
when I was a teenager.

So I'm hoping that
if you listen to them now,

you will be a happier
and more realized person

than I could ever hope to be.

From that night on...

Abbie started telling me everything.

She grew up in Santa Barbara
where everyone is happy,

but that just made her feel crazy.

In 1973, she moved to New York City
and went to art school.

New York City made her feel sane.

It was so fucked up.

She fell in love with photography.

She learned to dance when she got sad.

She saw The Man Who Fell to Earth
and dyed her hair red.

I figured out how to be looked at

by men,

and how to make them excited,

and uncomfortable.

I was so cocky,

and I was so angry

and I was so happy.

She fell in love with her teacher.

Then she went
to Planned Parenthood.

Abigail Porter?

Her friends couldn't
deal with her having cancer,

so she went home to her mom.

Hey, Mom...

Gail, did you ever take...

D.E.S. when you were pregnant with Abbie?

Yes.

I had two miscarriages before Abbie.
The doctor told me to take it.

D.E.S. was a fertility medication.

Doctors prescribed it to women.

Later they found out
that the daughters

of the women who took it
got cervical cancer.

I didn't know that
you had miscarriages.

When her mom found out

it was because she took that drug,

she wouldn't talk about it.

And everything Abbie did made her mad.

So Abbie looked
for another place to live.

- Hi. Hello...
- Hi.

And she started renting the room upstairs.

I'm Abbie.

And she got a job at the news press.

...the landslide.

It shows how erosion along the bluff,

it causes instantaneous
loss of oceanfront property

and— and construction.

Over time, it gradually...

Hi, Dorothea.

Hey, Charlie.

Hey... um...

You wanna go out some time?

Get a drink?

Oh, um...

Yeah.

What the heck, Charlie?

Sure. Okay.

I wasn't sure.

- Uh...
- What?

Some— some of the guys
thought you were a lesbian.

You know, which, look,
I don't have a problem with if you are,

but you're not.

Yeah, no, I am not.

Um, should we go out then?

Okay, yeah. Sure.

You wanna come to dinner
at my house again some time?

You could...

We could do that.

Shit. Julie.

It's really-It's nothing.

I just end up there sometimes.

What do you guys do?

I just sleep.

We talk.

Can I have one?

No, they're really bad for you.

You smoke all the time.

You know when I started,
they weren't bad for you.

They were just stylish, sort of edgy,

so it's different for me.

Okay.

You're good at hiding stuff, huh?

My mom calls it compartmentalizing.

Apparently, I do that a lot.

Are you helping him?

- I'm trying.
- Really?

What about you?

Have you thought about your impact on him?

It's always about the mother.

Like...

do you think you've moved on
since his dad?

You know that you're
not actually a therapist?

I've had new guys, okay?

No one appropriate.

Appropriate?

Guys you're not
gonna risk anything with...

men you don't even really like.

Listen, you're 17, okay?

Maybe you don't know
what's good about these guys

that I really like.

I'm talking about you.

You never seem into it...

except for with William.

But...

he's inappropriate.

Okay, Jesus. Uh, yeah.

It's hard to find someone that I like.

I— I had my chance twice,

but that part of life
just didn't work out for me.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Where were you?

I had some errands.

You did the whole list.

You know all the stocks?

Yeah.

IBM is down, huh?

Sorry. I'll fix it next time.

That—
Good job on that.

- William?
- Yes?

Do I seem stuck to you?

How do you mean?

Well, I, I guess
I wouldn't know, would I?

- Abbie?
- Yes?

Let's go out tonight.

I want to see this modern world.

Can I come?

I don't know if I'm gonna find
an appropriate man here.

Thank you.

What?

What was that?

What does that mean?

Oh... Um... Uh...

I mean you don't kiss a woman

unless you know
what you mean by it.

Aren't you sleeping with Abbie?

That's not something serious.
It's...

Then why do it?

It's 1979.

I'm 55 years old.

This is what my son believes in.

These people...

with this hair...

and these clothes...

making these gestures,
making these sounds.

It's 1979. I'm 55 years old,

and in 1999,

I will die of cancer from the smoking.

Hey. Are you going?

Yeah.

Do me a favor.
Just take care of Abbie.

They don't know this is the end of punk.

They don't know
that Reagan's coming.

It's impossible to imagine

that kids will stop
dreaming about nuclear war,

and have nightmares about the weather.

It's impossible to imagine HIV,

what will happen
with skateboard tricks,

the internet.

You have a good time?

Yeah, it was interesting.

So Abbie has your number, right?

- Yeah.
- Maybe you'll come over for dinner.

I'd like that.

Kid.

It's late.

How was it?

It was... life-changing.

Before I die, I will prepare for Y2K.

I put canned food and water
in the garage.

I put $16,000 dollars' worth of gold coins

into a safe deposit box
at the Bank of Montecito.

I died before the new year,

Dolphin shaped balloons
floated over my head.

They were playing Louis Armstrong
on a boom box.

Jamie?

Hey, sorry. Are you awake?

I just wanted to tell you...

that you have to get out of this town
if you want to have any chance

of an interesting life moving forward.

What happened?

Sorry. Shit.

We don't have sex.

I just sleep here.

Okay.

Can I lay down?

- We were sleeping.
- Just scoot over.

It's okay. I'm just gonna
talk to Jamie for a second.

So Lynette Winters spit on me,

so then I hit her.

Why'd she spit on you?

Because I spit on her,

right before
I was going to New York

and I thought I was never
gonna come back.

It felt very liberating at the time.

- Fucking bitch!
- All right.

And somehow I ended up breaking a chair.

Hey, Julian, I'm sorry.

- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

And then William told me

he didn't want
to sleep with me anymore.

What are you saying?
I don't like you!

I don't like you! I don't like—

Just, just, I'm just gonna
talk to Jamie for a second.

Um, you cannot let her sleep here

if she's not having sex with you.

It's disempowering.

Also, you need to get out of this town

before you start working
at a sunglasses shop.

I mean, it goes for you, too.

Jamie, um, here's some books
from a feminism class I took.

I thought it would be helpful

for you to get a woman's perspective.

What happened to your lip?

Oh, I got in a fight.

- You want some apples?
- What?!

There was a fight.
It was— it was ridiculous.

Hold on, is that
Our Bodies, Ourselves?

Yes, it is.

This was a really, really good book.

There's a really good chapter
on home... childbirths.

Home birth actually stunts
the baby's growth personality.

What is a growth personality?

It's a real term.

"And who knows what it means
for a newborn

to see wood walls and carpeted floor

and to smell real human smells

and to feel wool
and cotton and flannel clothes

instead of starchy, white, deodorized"
dot, dot, dot.

To me, that meant, like,
"And what else?"

Women's sexuality,

defined by men to benefit men,

has been downgraded and perverted,

repressed and channeled.

Anatomically, all orgasms
are centered in the clitoris,

whether they result
from direct manual pressure

applied to the clitoris,

indirect pressure resulting from—

Last night, I fucked Heather so hard,

she came like, three times.

How did you stimulate her clitoris?

With my dick.

Women need
direct clitoral stimulation,

like with fingers or a vibrator
or something.

She probably faked it.
Women fake it all the time.

Talking Heads are a bunch of fags.

Actually, there's a girl in their band,

and she's dating the drummer,
so...

Your name's Jamie, right?

Fuckin' art fag.

So what was the fight about?

Clitoral stimulation.

Why do you need to fight about that?

I don't know. I...

I wanna be a good guy, okay?

I just... want to be able
to satisfy a woman.

Kid, I'm sure you will.

Shit.

Jamie!

That's not cool.

Yeah. That's what Matt called me
for liking the Talking Heads.

Uh-huh.

And what is "Black Flag?"

It's a hard core band,

so the people who love Black Flag
hate the Talking Heads.

What?!

The punk scene is very divisive.

Hey! You're all so advanced, aren't you?

The next time a dude
tells you a sex story,

you just have to agree
with everything he says

and act like it's right, even if it's not,

because they don't
wanna be contradicted.

They just wanna live
in their fantasy lands.

How are you doing... with everything?

Whatever you think your life
is going to be like,

just know it's not gonna be
anything like that.

Right.

Take me to that club.

Tonight?

- Hey.
- Hey.

Wow, you look amazing.
Where you going?

We're just gonna go out.
Is that okay?

Well yeah, of course.
And, uh, where?

Just goin' out.

- Bye.
- Bye!

Put that down.

Hey, could I get a beer?

Now say, "I— I'm into older women."

Just say it.

I'm into older women.

Oh...

How old are you?

Age is a bourgeois construct.

Age is a bourgeois construct.

That's a good answer.

Age is a bourgeois construct.

Okay, okay. You get it.

Um, so now
if she asks you any questions,

you just say as little as possible, okay?

Now show me
your most inscrutable face.

I don't really make choices, when they...

about...

about women. They just...

They come to you.

That— that's—
You could have more than that.

But what about you? Why—

I mean, what happened to Jamie's dad?

Well...

He just, no— He just didn't turn out like
I thought he would.

I guess that happens.

There must have been
something good about him.

Um, he was left-handed.

That's it? That's it?

Yes, and I was right-handed.

And so in the morning,

we would look at
the stock reports together,

and...

he could write with his left-hand

and scratch my back
with his right.

And that's it?

I loved that.

Do you ever meditate?

Uh...

I feel the air,

coolness of the air
goes through my nose.

All I'm really doing is...

bringing my attention

back to my breath.

So when I take a breath in...

there's a feeling.

It's air going in.

It's air going out.

It's a good feeling.

No, it's okay. Go ahead.
I'm just gonna...

Go ahead.

I'm just gonna smoke.

I'm listening.

All right, I wanna get
on the same page.

You are such—

How did you get to be
this person that you are?

It's so... You're so unusual.

William's dad managed

an auto repair shop in Cleveland.

Engines always made sense to him.

He tried
to put himself through college,

but couldn't afford it.

He met Theresa in 1963.

She was smart, brave, better off.

They were in love.

They'd move to Oakland,

then to a commune in Sebastopol.

Well, I learned to be like them, you know?

And... as it turns out,

it's a lot easier
than I thought it would be.

But it wasn't really me
I was doing it for...

so that I wouldn't lose Theresa.

He started talking like them,

looking like them,

but they made him feel old
and uneducated and poor.

Theresa started thinking

William was uptight and possessive
and she left him.

After Theresa,

women didn't have to look
one way or the other,

or be a certain way.

I think that I just—

I want to win them over

so that I won't be lonely.

You live here?

I do.

But once I have them,

I don't really know
what to do with them.

You wanna do something later?

You're sweet.

I should go.

What he likes is making bowls.

He doesn't smell like oil and grease.

His hands don't look like
dumb mechanic's hands.

I was using the smaller bowls for a while.

Um, and then I was kind of feeling
like I needed

to beat the crap
out of some stuff, so...

And when it gets a little bit drier,

you spray everything away.

Wow.

It's beautiful.

What?

Did you fix it?

Um...

Well, maybe...

It's, uh, part Vol— Volkswagen now.
I had to imp— improvise.

And how are you gonna get to know
a person way over there?

What am—
What am I supposed to do?

Well, just make a little small talk

and introduce yourself, ask her to dance.

Okay. Hello, I'm William.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Um, I live downstairs.
- Oh, yeah.

I'm the one with the cars.

Would you like to dance with me?

- Yes. Sure.
- Okay.

Put your hand out, right?

Put the other hand here.

And just be there.

She just wants a little company.

Oh.

Okay.

That's nice.

I— I feel like I— I understand you.

We should get away from here.

Just— just me and you, you know?

Go up the coast, be alone somewhere.

Jamie, you're in love with Julie.

You can't let her push you around.

You have to tell her what you want.

...if you, if you were to listen to it...

Right.

What does— what does that mean?

"Art Fag?" I mean what does—

If you were to think about it
from more like a sociological perspective,

what does that come from? "Art Fag."

- I think we—
- What is that?

- Abbie understands it.
- Abbie does not understand it.

She's just a part of it.

You don't need to like it.

Okay, what is he saying?

"Head on my shoulders..."

"Going berserk..."

Right.

Is that interesting?

I don't know.

I don't know either.

I think we're maybe over-thinking this.

Let's try the Art Fag one.

Here come the Art Fags.

Oh, yeah.

All right, you ready?

That's it.

I guess we're more the Art Fag type.

Uh-huh.

I like that.

♪ ...I remember from maps ♪

♪ I see the shoreline ♪

♪ I see the whitecaps ♪

♪ A baseball diamond ♪

♪ Nice weather down there ♪

♪ I see the school ♪

♪ And the houses where the kids are ♪

♪ Places to park ♪

♪ By the fac'tries and buildings... ♪

Come here, inscrutable boy.

I gave him beer,

and then I— I taught him
how to verbally seduce women,

and we drove drunk,
but I stopped that,

and then he kissed Trish.

And then we walked home.

Ah.

You're not mad?

You're mad.

You get to see him out in the world
as a person.

I never will.

Just...

There.

I can't believe Abbie gave you this book.

It's interesting.

What's it like... for girls?

What? Sex?

Orgasms.

Do you really want to know
what it's like?

Yeah.

I don't have them.

What?

None of my friends do.

Then why do you do it?

There's other reasons.

You know, like the way
that he looks at you...

or the way they get a little
bit desperate at some point.

And the little sounds that they make.

And their bodies...

'cause you don't exactly know
what they're gonna look like...

or smell or feel like...

until you do it.

But, yeah...
half the time I regret it.

Then why do you do it?

'Cause half the time, I don't regret it.

"I am gregarious.

Interested in others.

And I think, intelligent.

All I ask is to get to know people

and to have them interested
in knowing me.

I doubt whether I would marry again

and live that close
to another individual,

but I remain invisible.

Don't pretend for a minute
as you look at me,

that I am not as alive as you are,

and I do not suffer from the category
to which you are forcing me.

I think, stripped down,
I look more attractive

than my ex-husband...

...but I am sexually and socially obsolete
and he is not.

I have a capacity now for
taking people as they are,

which I lacked at 20.

I reach orgasm in half the time
and I know how to please,

yet I do not even dare show a man
that I find him attractive.

If I do, he may react
as if I have insulted him.

I'm supposed to fulfill my small functions
and vanish."

Well...

What do you think of all that?

I don't know. Maybe I'm a feminist.

So...

You think that's me.

No, I don't know.

So you think you know me better
because you read that?

No, no.

Then why are you reading it to me?

Um, I thought it was interesting.

Okay, well...

I— I don't need a book
to know about myself.

Sorry.

I mean, I appreciate you trying to help.

I do. I just think
you're taking it too far.

This stuff with,

you know, the women's movement
I respect,

but it's just, it's complicated

and I think it's too much for him.

What are— I don't know what
it is that you're talking about.

- Okay. He's a 15-year-old boy.
- I know.

You're giving him hard core
feminism, and it-it—

But he really loves it, and it's really—

- It's helping him...
- Helping him what?

It's helping him
become a man, th—

What you were talking about. It's like—

Learning about a female orgasm
is helping him be a man?

Well, what man do you know
that cares anything about that?

- Look, he's—
- I mean that's a miracle.

But he is a high school kid, okay?

It's too much. I'm telling you.

I think he seems really okay with it.

You know you don't actually know
what you're doing with him?

Okay? So... just...

As you know,

there is a growing
disrespect for government,

for schools, the news media

and other institutions.

This is not a message
of happiness or reassurance.

But it is the truth

and it is a warning.

It is a crisis... of confidence.

We can see this crisis

in the growing doubt
about the meaning of our own lives

and in the loss of a unity of purpose

for our nation.

Too many of us now

tend to worship self-indulgence
and consumption.

But we've discovered

that owning things
and consuming things...

does not satisfy

our longing for meaning.

We always believed...

that we were part
of a great movement

of humanity itself...

involved in a search for freedom.

We are at a turning point
in our history.

The path that leads to fragmentation
and self-interest.

Down that road lies
a mistaken idea of freedom.

It is a certain route to failure.

Thank you and good night.

Wow. He is so screwed.

No shit.

It's over for him.

I thought that was beautiful.

Well, why didn't you just say,
"I'm sorry, I'm done?"

My pride.

- I know.
- Yeah, it's...

You didn't seem like a prideful person.
You seem humble.

I left my pride outside today.

Jamie, would you please wake up Abbie?

- Yeah. Abbie?
- No, stop it. I'm menstruating.

Abbie, you know what?

You're menstruating. Okay.
But do you have to say it?

Okay? And do we really need to know
everything that's going on with you?

What? I'm menstruating.

Why is that a big deal?

We don't need to hear about that.
Thank you.

If you ever want to have
an adult relationship with a woman,

like if you want to have sex
with a woman's vagina,

you need to be comfortable

with the fact
that the vagina menstruates,

and just say menstruation.
It's not a big deal.

So start saying it now.
Menstruation.

- Now?
- Yes. Menstruation.

Menstruation.

Jamie, no, you don't have to.

You're saying it like you're scared.

- Don't say it like you're scared.
- Abbie.

- Say it like it's normal.
- Menstruation.

- Menstruation.
- Menstruation.

Not bad. Julian, menstruation.
You can say it. Right now.

- I'm sorry.
- Uh, men— menstruation.

Just keep eye contact with me.
What— Who are you looking at?

- Menstruation.
- Menstruation.

Yeah, that's right. Menstruation.

Charlie, you're quiet. Menstruation?

Menstruation?

No, not like a question. Menstruation.

- Menstruation.
- Now everybody say it together.

Menstruation.

Like gentle, happy, but casual.
And...

Menstruation.

It's gross, Abbie.

No, it's— it's not gross.
It's a very deep time creatively,

and it's emotionally transformative.

And sex during menstruation

can be very pleasurable for a woman.

It can even, like,
relieve some of the cramps.

Jamie, I also wanna say never
have sex with just the vagina.

You have to have sex
with the whole woman.

That's slightly off topic
of what I'm talking about.

You too? You too, William?

- I mean... Thank you.
- But that's okay.

The first time that I got my period,

I was watching

One That Flew
Over the Cuckoo's Nest

with some guy.

And, um...

Yeah, I just told him
that I had to leave,

so I went to the market
and I bought a box of tampons,

and I read the instructions
on the box and I put one in...

- Julie?
- and I never told my mom about it,

but she never asked, so it didn't matter.

And I never saw the end
of the Cuckoo's Nest.

Jack Nicholson got a lobotomy,
and so the big Indian guy

smothered him with a pillow
so that he could,

you know, be free and...

Okay, let's talk about
something else.

- Would you mind?
- When I was 14,

I had sex for the first time.

Julie!

Julie, please. You— Honey...

I decided one night
that I was just gonna lose my virginity.

I didn't care who it was to.

- Julie, you gotta calm down.
- Stop it. Let her talk.

I picked this guy that
I didn't know at a party...

and we had fairly painful sex in his van.

It was just parked on the street.

He just used spit for lubrication.

I made it home on time
for curfew, though.

His carpet smelled
like spilled bong water.

Okay, um...

let's call it a night. All right?

Thanks all for coming.
Show's over, girls.

Thank you so much for coming.

Jamie, we need to talk.

There's a lot of stuff happening, right?

And I just would like to know
what's going on with you.

I mean, I know this has all been
a lot for us to deal with.

Mom, I'm dealing
with everything right now.

You are dealing with nothing.

I can't believe you told
everyone all that.

I can say what I want to say.

They're gonna think you're some—

They're gonna get
the wrong idea about you.

What?

That I'm a slut?

Is that what you think?

You can't sleep here anymore...

and just want to talk.

Really?

Yeah.

Jamie.

I'm sorry.

I am sorry, okay?

Let's— let's just get out of here.

Let's go up the coast like—
like you said that we would.

Just the two of us.

Mom...

Julie and I took the car.

We're taking a trip up the coast...

just to get away.

You don't need to worry about us.

Hey, do you think
that you could, um...

buy us some, like, wine coolers?

You can keep the change.

Strawberry or anything berry, really.

Hi. What's the matter?

Hi.

You changed lanes
in the intersection back there.

Seriously? That's all?

I need to see your license
and registration.

Well, what if I don't have my license?

Okay, well what's your name,
address and date of birth?

Do you have that?

You know,
those are very personal questions,

and we've just met.

What's your name?
What's your address, right?

I mean, it's a little forward.

I, uh, I love you.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Tell me.

I think that I'm too close to you...

to have sex with you.

I know it's confusing.

I'm sorry.

I can...

I can help you get over that.

I don't want to get over that.

Yes, you do.

You're being like the other guys.

I don't wanna just have sex with you.

I want you.

But it's your version of me.

It's not me.

It would be a lot better
if you just wanted sex.

You are exactly like the other guys.

You just seem like you're all modern.

Jamie.

Jamie.

Jamie!

These people have no sense of humor.

Having a kid seems like...

the hardest thing.

Yeah.

How much you love the kid...

You're just pretty much screwed.

- Well, it's good for you.
- Hi. Uh...

Hey.

Julie just called me.
They're in San Louis Obispo.

She doesn't know where he is.

She can't find him.

- I— Would you drive me...
- Yes, I will.

- ...up there?
- Yep. Let's go.

- Will you come?
- Yes.

I'm sorry.

He came back.

He's right there.

Okay. Okay.

It's okay.

Well...

Julie's a pretty complicated woman.

It's a lot to take on,

but I'm impressed in a way.

Whatever.

Aren't you gonna get Julie...

to come talk with me?

Jamie!

What?

I— I thought they'd help.

Well, it just seemed like you
couldn't deal with me anymore.

Look.

I wanted— I—
I...

Look, I—

I don't want you to end up
in the same place as me.

What does that mean?

Well, I wanted you to be happier.

And I just didn't think
I could do it by myself. I—

Okay.

I thought we were fine, though,
just me and you.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay. Come on.

Come on. Dance with your mom.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bye.

- Be safe.
- Bye.

Bye. Bye.

So maybe we don't go back yet.

Okay.

Were you and Dad ever in love?

Sure.

Or, um...

Maybe I was just...

I felt I was supposed to be in love.

Or I was...

I was scared I'd never be in love...

so I— I...

I just picked
the best solution at the time.

I wanna bleach my hair.

Kid... really?

Yeah.

Okay.

Are you lonely?

Well...

I might marry Bogart in my next life.

We'll see.

I'm thinking about it.

Uh, he's dead.

Well...

This is my next life, right?

So...

he may be there.

He may be around
and we might meet and...

something might happen between us.

Okay, um...

you can't have it in the real world?

Hey. This is no time
to be rational, sweetie.

Can you just go with this?

Yeah. Keep going.

Okay.

So he— he knows what I'm thinking,

and he makes me laugh...

and he really sees me...

and you know that he's gonna
do what he says he's gonna do,

so that's easy.

He sounds nice.

Yeah.

I thought that was just the beginning

of a new relationship with her...

where she'd really tell me stuff...

but maybe it was
never really like that again.

Maybe that was it.

In March of 1999,

I'll start to feel tired and confused.

When I finally go to the doctor,

he will say that the cancer
in my lungs

had already traveled
to my breast and brain.

I'll try to teach Jamie
what to do with my stocks,

but my instructions will be
impossible to understand.

See you later.

Abbie will take me
to Planned Parenthood...

and I will go on the pill.

I will go to NYU

and lose touch with Jamie
and Dorothea...

and I will stop talking to my mom.

I will fall in love with Nicholas...

and we'll move to Paris...

and choose not to have children.

I will stay in Santa Barbara.

In just two years,
I'll marry Dave.

A month after I get married,

Carlotta will die.

A week later, Max will die, too.

I will work out of my garage

and show in local galleries.

Against my doctor's advice,

I will get pregnant.

By the time I'm 34,

I'll have two boys.

I'll live with
Dorothea for another year...

and then I'll open a pottery store
in Sedona, Arizona.

I'll marry Laurie, a singer-songwriter.

We'll get divorced in a year.

Then I'll meet Sandy...

and continue to do my pottery.

My mom will meet Jim in 1983.

They will stay a couple
until she dies.

On her birthday each year,

he will buy her a trip on a biplane.

Years after she's gone,
I will finally get married

and have a son.

I will try to explain to him

what his grandmother was like...

but it will be impossible.

♪ You must remember this ♪

♪ A kiss is still a kiss ♪

♪ A sigh is just a sigh ♪

♪ The fundamental things apply ♪

♪ As time goes by ♪

♪ And when two lovers woo ♪

♪ They still say I love you ♪

♪ On that you can rely ♪

♪ No matter what the future brings ♪

♪ As time goes by ♪

♪ Moonlight and love songs
never out of date ♪

♪ Hearts full of passion
jealousy and hate ♪

♪ Woman needs man
and man must have his mate ♪

♪ That no one can deny ♪

♪ It's still the same old story ♪

♪ A fight for love and glory ♪

♪ A case of do or die ♪

♪ The world will always welcome...

♪ Well it seems so real I can see it ♪

♪ And it seems so real I can feel it ♪

♪ And it seems so real I can taste it ♪

♪ And it seems so real I can hear it ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

♪ Then it looks so real I can see it ♪

♪ And it feels so real I can feel it ♪

♪ And it tastes so real I can taste it ♪

♪ And it sounds so real I can hear it ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

♪ Then it looks so real I can feel it ♪

♪ And it feels so real I can taste it ♪

♪ And it tastes so real I can hear it ♪

♪ And it sounds so real I can see it ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

♪ Now it is so real I can see it ♪

♪ And it is so real I can feel it ♪

♪ And it is so real I can hear it ♪

♪ And it is so real I can feel it ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪

♪ So why ♪

♪ Can't I touch it? ♪