2025: Make America Purge Again (2022) - full transcript

The targets name
is Hector Velasco.

Lieutenant Briggs,

you are authorized to take them
out by any means necessary.

About time we got
some action in here.

I was starting to get bored.

The other 2 squads are a
Texas Rangers joint task force.

Sergeant Jax Maxwell
will be in charge of team 2.

We've got your back Lieutenant.

My men are well trained
and this ain't our first rodeo.

Sergeant Maxwell and I have formed
a trusting relationship over the years.

He won't let you down.



What every you need,
we got you covered.

Team 3 is lead by
Sergeant Tyler Stevens.

We've been surveilling this
compound for a few weeks now.

We know every square
inch of that place.

Get this right,

and you'll have many more
opportunities like this one.

Opportunites like what?

Director Johnson, what
do I owe this pleasure to?

I see you're doing the uh,

Velasco raid tonight.

Yes, we just
concluded our briefing.

These are my squad leaders who
are entering the compound this evening.

Look Sully,

Just don't fuck this up.



We've got a lot riding on this.

You know...

You keep making me look good,

maybe one of these days
you'll be able to fill my shoes.

Yes sir, I understand.

Do whatever it takes to
take this son of a bitch down.

I expect to be doing a press
release first thing tomorrow,

where I can tell the world that I
captured another Cartel leader.

You might have to
get dirty on this one.

Well you got the
right guy for the job.

Yeah well,

that remains to be seen.

Carry on.

I've got your full
release, you fucking prick.

Alright ladies and gentlemen,
you've got your orders.

Dismissed.

Good evening ladies
and Gentlemen.

Welcome to flight 187 to Laredo.

Pucker up buttercups, ETA
30 minutes to rendezvous point.

Hold on to your tampons.

Damn it Roscoe!

Yee-haw!

There she is girls.

The Rio Grande.

But we gotta be quick,

the guards patrol
about every hour.

What?

We're supposed
to swim across that?

I can't swim that far!

I've got you covered.

We're supposed to go in this?

No, the drugs go into this.

But you hang on the
outside and paddle.

It will keep your from drowning.

What?

Shirts, pants, and
shoes in the bag.

We're ready.

Alright girls, we
swim from here.

Hang onto the tube.

There you go.

Hang on.

Whatever you do girls,

don't let go.

If I go down stream,
you don't get paid.

Stroke!

Stroke!

Stroke!

You see the bank over there?

No!

That's where we're going.

I don't see it!

It's there.

We're getting close.

I still see nothing!

Swim!

Amigo!

I started to think you
weren't going to make it.

Have faith com padre,
I always deliver.

Looks like you
brought some friends,

are we gonna party later?

Let's just call them
business associates.

And,

they brought a little
present for Hector.

Hmm,

I bet they did.

Well,

Boss is expecting you.

Better not keep him waiting.

Let's get going.

Ladies?

Halto!

Que tienes?

It's cool they're with me.

Boss is expecting us.

You guys are late.

But we're here now.

Who's this?

Special deliveries,
compliments of Guillermo.

You search them?

Nah.

You're paranoid man.

Turn around.

Arms up.

Legs out.

Knock yourself out.

Okay, he's clean.

What about you?

Hiding anything
special under there?

Nope.

Okay, she's clean.

Come on, you're next.

Be gentle!

A little sensative are we?

You have no idea.

Okay, they're clean.

Go on through.

Boss is in the back.

Guillermo!

Mr. Velasco!

It looks like you
had a safe trip huh.

Just another day over the
river and through the woods.

Let's see what's in the bags.

I am very impressed
with your shipment.

Nah.

That's with just 2 girls.

Imagine what I could do with 20.

Besides,

You haven't seen
the best part yet.

Oh really?

What have you brought for me?

2 very special deliveries.

So far I'm liking
what I am seeing.

Can't wait for you
to show me more.

Ladies.

I want you to relax.

This should go quick

and easy.

Ooh...

Are you ready?

Do I have a choice?

What goes in must come out.

Oh I just hope nothing
extra comes out.

Ooh,

Oh little daddy!

See!

That wasn't so bad.

And you took it like a trooper.

Alright ladies.

We're done here.

Get dressed.

That's it?

I thought there
was gonna be more.

Where's my big fucking surprise?

Easy, just hold on a second.

Girls.

As promised.

Go on, get your packs.

Get out of here.

Now for your surprise.

Let's see what the
Easter Egg reveal

has in store for us.

What do we have here?

Pure Fentanyl.

Nice!

People are buying those
pills left and right off the street.

This...

Is one of the easier
things to market bro.

Easy with that bro!

A speck of that will kill ya!

Adam 1 to Lincoln 2,
what's your current status?

Lincoln 2, all
units are in postion.

Over.

Captain Sully, looks like
we have satellite uplink.

Activating thermal imaging feed.

Maintain your position,

and hold the perimeter.

It's good to finally meet them an
that has been making me very rich.

We nearly doubled our
sales in the past few months.

Thank you for allowing
me to showcase my...

unique talents.

But I'm curious.

How do you get so much
movement across the border

without any trouble?

It's easy.

I just use the back door.

I think you're cool
damn white boy.

We're going to get
very rich together man.

Oh yeah.

Lincold 2, neutralize hostiles and
proceed to the main target area.

Copy that.

All teams are clear to engage
the primary target on your mark.

Cut the power.

What the fuck was that?

I don't know boss,
sounded like the breaker.

Escorpion,

go and check the panel.

Got it.

Get down on the ground!

Drop your weapons!

Get down on the ground!

Drop your weapons!

Clear!

Clear!

Eat dick fucking pigs!

Get down on the ground!

Freeze motherfucker!

Get your hands on your head!

Get your knees!

Get down asshole!

Get down!

Hand on your head!

Okay Roscoe, take us down.

Hector Velasco,

you are under arrest

for the trafficking and sales

of illegal narcotics and weapons

into The United
States of America.

Identification please.

Captain Richard Sully,
Department of Homeland Security.

Ah, Captain Sully.

It's an honor to meet you.

Thank you sir.

Please, proceed.

Agent.

Jesus Christ, what
a fucking mess.

11911 automatic pistol.

Gold plated hand grips.

These Cartels always
have great taste.

Excellent work team, you
should all be proud of yourselves.

Get him out of here.

Move it Velasco.

Get those cuffs off of him!

Yes sir!

May I?

Yeah, Yeah of course.

[latex tearing]

You really outdid
yourself this time.

18 months in deep cover is no...

walk..

In the park!

No sir, it is not.

Well thanks to you Bill,
your intel was spot on.

Everything was smooth.

Ah, Stevens...

Go round up the 2 girls.

They couldn't have
gotten very far on foot.

Bring back the cash,

and make sure you put them
in detention right after that.

Right away Captain.

Well it looks like you
got quite a haul here Bill.

So what have we got?

We have 1.4 Million in cash.

Cool.

6 Killos of pure uncut cocain.

Good.

A couple pounds
of Marijuana here,

another 50 pounds out back.

A few miscellaneous weapons.

Enough fentanyl to
overdose the entire Agency.

Hey Bill.

What the hell is this?

Some kind of a drug they melted down
to disguise to look like a Voodoo candle?

Strangely scented.

That sir...

is a butt plug.

Oh!

My senses told me that it might
have been used in some type of

foul play.

I had it filled with fentanyl
to make use of the uh...

extra space.

Oh good.

Good.

You could be up for
promotion on this one.

Are you sure you won't
recon cider your retirement,

and stay a little bit longer?

Nope.

I've put in my time.

I'm ready for the simple life.

Spend a little time
with the family.

Yeah.

Maybe find a

log cabin up by
a nice clear lake.

Mmm.

That does sound wonderful.

You know, I always thought I
would be the first one to retire.

You know what?

I just can't seem
to let all of this go.

It can be fulfilling.

I don't know what I
would do without this job.

I mean, I just need
something else.

Something to fill that void.

Sir.

You know, Margaret
is ready for a change.

Sir.

She would like to spend
more time together and...

oh and...

try new things.

Captain!

Yeah?

You're handling the evidence.

Huh?

Silly me!

Yeah, um...

How's that?

Tricky piece of machinery huh?

Okay.

Where was I?

Oh!

Hey, speaking of
the back woods...

You know Bill, it's
standard protocol

that we place agents on a

light duty assignment after
receiving 2 week retirement notice?

What's that got to do
with the back woods?

Don't hate me Bill,

But I'm putting in your
transfer request tonight.

You'll be finishing
your last 2 weeks...

in the FIRE unit.

FIRE?

That new Agency Donald started
at the beginning of the year?

Yep!

The one and only.

You are an official member

of the Forrest and Immigration

Raking Enforcement.

You're fucking with me right?

Nope, you start tomorrow.

Hey, hey, hey, guys, I'll
take care of these myself.

I'm gonna box
these all up and...

I'm gonna put it in my unit.

And then I'm gonna take
them and have them anal

uh,

analized.

Whatever you say Captain.

I'll see you all
back at the station.

Good work team.

You guys take it from here.

Carry on!

Alright, so I'll take
the cash in here,

you bag up the weed
and the guns in your duffel

and bring them to Transport
3, and I'll take it from there.

Go home Bill, let
these guys handle it.

Get some rest, you
have a big day tomorrow!

Take care!

That evidence has not been
properly bagged or tagged.

We'll take care of it
later, don't worry about it!

Don't worry about it?

This is my bust.

I'm responsible

for the oversight
of this evidence

and proper chain of custody.

Now...

Who is your commanding officer?

Let it be.

It ain't worth the trouble.

Alright pops, have at it.

Sweet dreams

poor motherfucker.

One

point

four

million

dollars.

I have a felling somebody's
gonna come looking for you.

2 more weeks,

cabin in the woods.

Fuck this shit!

You know the great
part about dummies?

What's that?

They don't punch back.

Oh yeah?

What do you know about fighting?

I thought you
specialized in raking?

Really Trixie?

I know a few moves.

Hmm, you think
you could take this?

All night long.

We'll see about that.

Let's see what you got old man.

Ladies first.

Alright,

you're fast.

Come on.

Looks like old man needs a
knee replacement again huh?

I'm just warming up.

Uh huh.

Come on you
little tramp let's go.

Need help up, old woman?

Oh hell no!

Are we done?

Not a chance.

No Paco, you have
to keep it steady.

Smooth lines, straight.

This.

See watch, watch me.

Thrust,

rake.

Thrust,

rake.

Thrust,

rake.

Thrust it forward, pull it back.

Smooth strokes.

Thrust,

back.

Be one with the rake.

Yes stupid!

Thrust, rake.

Thrust, rake.

Thrust.

It's like making
whoopie to the forest.

Come on, faster!

Faster Paco!

Faster!

Look at them,

raking the forest.

Who do they think they are

stealing jobs from
American citizens?

They're not stealing jobs,

they're doing work that
nobody else here wants to do.

Work that needs to be
done to keep our forests safe.

At least the Raking Work Visa Program gives
them an opportunity to come here legally

Yeah,

raking in American dough.

Throwing it back over
the wall to their compadres.

Financing human trafficking,

drugs,

and those damn delicious
Takis you buy at the dollar store.

Should have made
the wall 10 times bigger.

A lot of good that wall did.

One wall is not gonna stop millions
of people from seeking a better life.

Maybe you're right.

But 2 walls,

that's sure to stop them.

And now that Donalds'
in his 2nd term,

hopefully he'll build that
2nd wall like he promised.

2 walls?

And then what?

2 walls,

and in between them,

a giant mote.

And we'll fill it with...

What?

Liberal tears?

Melted snowflakes?

No.

Water stupid.

He'll build the biggest mote
the world has ever seen.

It'll be huge.

By the time the illegals
climb over the first wall,

Paco, we have to swim across!

Let's go!

Oh asshole, I'm not
a good swimmer Jose!

And swim through the
crocodile infested waters,

Paco!!!

Jose!!!

And get over to the 2nd wall,

they'll be too slippery
and wet to climb it.

They'll lay there in exhaustion

too tired

and just give up.

Oh fuck...

Yeah, yeah.

2 walls.

I suppose he's gonna
make Hillary pay for it right?

Damn straight she will.

As soon as the extradite
her ass from California.

Damn sactuary state bullshit.

At least you're retiring soon.

You'll have better things to do with your
time than worry about forests and immigrants.

Maybe you can move
back to California?

Settle down on the coast?

There's no chance in hell
I'm going back to Comi-fornia.

Why?

So that Governor Grohl

can take half of my retirement
on the taxes he just raised?

There goes my hero.

He took my straws,

my knives,

my guns,

the urinals!

How do you ban a man
from standing to take a leak?

What kind of man
sits down to pee?

I won't do it.

I'll go out and piss right
in front of my house.

So you would rather
stand up to pee,

than stand up for
bathroom gender equality?

I would rather stand in line and
pay a $1.50 to eat my dick off a bun,

wash it down with
16 ounces of flat piss.

With free refills.

Damn I miss Costco.

Costco?

What's that?

The only place this
side of the border

where you can buy beautiful
bulk Takis by the big bag.

Less than 2 hours
until the Purge,

you going out tonight?

No.

Family's coming over.

Having dinner.

Got to make sure
everybody stays safe tonight.

How about you?

Uh...

Some friends of mine are
coming over and picking me up.

You know, we've got a list of
assholes we're gonna visit tonight.

So your house pretty secure?

Reinforced windows?

Security camers installed?

No...

Haven't got around to it yet.

Ha...

Nice!

Excuse me?

Uh...

I said look!

ICE!

End of the road friends!

Come on!

Out of the Van!

Let's go!

Let's go!

Let's go!!!

That means now, come on!

Come on!

Come on!!

I need you guys to go line
up against that wall over there.

Come on!

Lets go.

Come on... come
on... come on!!!

Let's go!

Ay... ya!!!!

Come on...

Line up against el wall-o.

Let' go.

I'm serious here.

I've got other places to be.

Let's go.

That's it.

Like that.

Spread your legs a little bit.

There we go.

Hurry up!

Come on.

There we go...

That's good.

Stay right there, I've
gotta go get a ladder.

But I'll be right back.

I got your ladder!

You guys miss me?

You guys get to go home.

Now...

By executive order

of The United States of America

and to the Republic
for which it stands,

I hereby am returning
you to your nattive territory.

Now you all are gonna
climb up this ladder

up over the wall and back to
the country from which you came

and never return

so help me baby Jesus.

I'm gonna go talk to my
colleagues over there...

Excuse me, companions...

And when I return,

Ya'll are gonna be vaminosed.

Understand?

Okay, let me try to...

Yo el turn-o-round-o...

and,

walk-o there-o.

You

take off

very fast!!!

Understand?

Yes.

Ah!!!! Very Excellent!!!

Thank you very much

for respecting my authorities.

Nice try ya'll,

but not on my watch...

It's a sign from God.

It's a ladder.

Hello.

What are you doing?

You're gonna get caught.

They're gonna deport you.

No.

There's nothing that
can stop me now.

I've traveled over 4000
miles to fulfil my destiny.

Your desitiny?

Wait, who are you?

My name is Pedro
Andreas Cavalera.

And since I was a young
boy in Brazil, I prayed...

that one day...

I would come to America...

and dance on Broadway...

We came here
looking for a better life.

I had a job...

A home...

But they keep sending us back.

Oh really?

The legal way
just takes to long.

We wouldn't survive.

Then why are you
just standing here?

Seize the moment and...

Never give up!

Follow your dreams.

See you later!!!

What are we waiting for?

Follow the rainbow!

Sounds like somebody's
got a sweet ride.

You know what I'm
saying? Two fingers.

Two fingers.

Evening Bill.

Aidan.

Hey Daryl.

Daryl.

How's it going?

Gum?

Got my own.

What's the good word Daryl?

Just another glorious day

protecting our sovereign nation

from those who would
trespass against it.

Like those 2 yahoos...

Look at them...

Putos...

Standing around doing
nothing laughing at us

while we work hard to
become American citizens.

Callete Jose.

Don't look them in the eye.

They don't like it when
you look them in the eye.

You doing anything tonight?

You know...

For the purge?

I'll probably just

stay home, watch some TV,

until everything is over.

I'm not very big on the whole
murder, violence, hunting for sport thing.

I prefer catch and release.

Like when I go fishing.

You should stay at Bill's place.

You know,

safety in numbers.

You're more than welcome.

Just gonna have the family over,

have a few beers,

catch the Apprentice premiere.

Do you like Takis?

You sure Bill?

I don't wanna intrude.

No, no. Besides it's...

probably the only way you're
gonna make it through the night.

I got tons of locks on my doors.

Plus bars on my windows.

That is some good information.

Thanks for that.

I'll take you up on it Bill.

You're more than welcome.

Even though you're...

ICE.

Ha!

Good one!

It's a good idea Daryl.

It'll save us a lot of time having
you guys all in the same place.

Excuse me?

What'd you say boy?

Oh...

You guys would
have fun together.

Do you think we're gonna like,

piss and cross
streams or something?

No.

You guys are friendly.

Bro...

ICE...

ICE.

And FIRE.

They don't mix.

They do!

Yeah they do.

No.

It's like the Yin and the Yang.

FIRE...

ICE!

I'm just messing with you Bill.

I've seen the movie
Ghost Busters.

Everybody knows

you don't cross streams.

Except for this guy apparently.

Okay.

So I'm into crossing streams...

What's the big deal?

It's 2025!

Whatever!

You millennial.

Fuck in millennials.

Hey!

Quit eyeballing me like you're
trying to cross streams. Okay bro?

Which one's eyeballing you?

The one on the left.

Hey!

Quit looking at me!

Yeah...

That's me and your mom later.

Hey, take it easy on them guys.

What the hell's wrong with you?

He's fucking catch and release.

Oh, totally catch and release.

Their mothers are probably really
nice people and make great tostadas.

Look Daryl,

just try to be at my
place around 6:30.

Fine.

6:30 it is.

Don't be late!

Speaking of late...

Time to wrap it up.

Back to your home.

The hour of the
Purge is upon us.

I heard you guys had a
pretty big bust yesterday.

Oh yeah, what'd you hear?

Just that you caught
a major Cartel leader.

Brought in a big
haul of narcotics.

Scored a big chunk of
change on top of that.

Like 1.4 million
dollars or something?

Or something.

1.4 million.

I could live large off of that.

I bet you could.

Two more weeks.

All you gotta do is
survive tonight and...

smooth sailing.

That's my plan.

Hey...

Take a right up
here at the light.

I need to stop by
the dollar store.

I'll be right back.

Come on.

Come get a bite.

Here.

How about you?

Come on.

I'm real sorry I
have to do this to ya.

But needs must
when the devil drives.

Come on, play nice!

Alright girls, you're
in for the night.

Don't be breaking out.

It's all bad on this
side of the fence.

Hope to see you in the morning.

Weren't you expecting a
friend to show up here already?

He'll be along in a bit.

He'd better hurry up!

Don't wanna be caught passing
through town before it's too late.

No worries.

We don't get many
Purgers up this way.

Got a fence around
the entire property.

Cars can't get through
without a gate code.

Besides...

It's good for Halloween too.

None of those
pesky trick or treaters.

True story.

I'll give him a call and make
sure he didn't get fucking lost.

Come on stupid pump.

Why does it have to be so slow?

Hello?

Hey!

You still on your way?

Yeah.

I...

just stopped to get
some gas real quick.

I'm just around the corner.

Only minutes left.

I'm trying to hurry but this...

pump is moving slower than
a snail wiping it's ass I swear.

Move your ass bro.

Love you too, bye...

Come on stupid pump.

I hate everything about
this god damn pump.

Come on...

No... come on.

Come on!!!

Hey yo!

You alright?

You need some help?

I don't speak English!

Let me give you a hand.

You know it's not
safe to be here.

Just pop open the hood and
we'll take a look at the engine.

Come on!

Come on baby, you got this.

Woo, yeah!!!

See ya sucker!!!

I'm only trying to help!

Relax everybody.

It's probably just Daryl.

Daryl, you son of a bitch!

That's a hell of a
grip you got there Bill.

What, ICE got you
pushing too many pencils?

Just fucking with ya.

Cuttin' it a bit
close aren't ya?

Had some car trouble
back at the gas station.

Can you just let me in already?

Come on in.

Thanks. I swear somebody was
ready to knock me off at that gas station.

But thanks to sweet baby Jesus,

I made it out.

Family is in the living room.

Hey everybody, this is Daryl.

Daryl works with me
at Homeland Security.

Hi I'm Daryl, pleased
to meet you all.

Hi Daryl, I'm
Bill's sister Stacey.

This is my husband Tom.

Howdy Daryl,
pleased to meet you.

The pleasures all mine...

And my daughter Jenna.

Hello.

Hi.

My son Brian.

How's it going my man?

Hey.

Brian!

Brian!

Don't be rude, say
hello to our guest.

Sup man!

Sup!

And Grandma Ruth.

Nice to meet you Darren.

It's actually Daryl ma'am.

Daryl...

Isn't that a girls name?

Uh... I don't believe so.

Like that movie,
that murmaid movie.

Oh love that one!

Daryl Hannah.

Well yeah, but there's plenty of manly
men out there with the name Daryl too.

Like you got what, uh...

Daryl Stawberry who
used to play on the Mets.

Daryl Hall.

Daryl Hammond.

Well that's okay.

Whatever makes
you feel better about it.

Okay.

Well...

It was nice to meet you all.

Uhh, just want to say,

thanks for allowing me
to stay with you tonight.

It really means a lot.

Hey uh...

Sorry about that.

I didn't mean to be
rude earlier or anything.

I was just Snatch Chatting with
this chick that liked my profile.

Snatch Chat huh?

Sounds like a mature
site for a boy your age.

Uh no, Snatch Chat is just a social
site that you like upload selfies...

and people can like them or message
you if you both click like on each other.

They call it Snatching.

Snatching!

Mmm hmm.

I got you, my bad.

I just got this new app called
Timber, have you heard of it?

No...

Well, its basically designed for the
ladies so that only men they've liked...

can message them.

I only installed the app to
make sure my profile is working.

I haven't found
the one just yet.

Basically...

Get this out here...

You just open the app.

Okay, and then when
you get into here,

you click Find Wood.

And these are called your Wood Piles
and your gonna scroll through these.

And...

when you see
something you like...

then you click on them.

Obviously this guy you
would just click Cut 'Em Loose.

That gets them out of your Wood Pile but if
you like what you see you click Get Some!

Timber!!!

Oh shit...

Umm...

Do you see a cancle button
on here? I didn't mean to do that.

No...

Uh oh...

I don't see one...

I'm not interested in dudes.

You've got wood!

Uh oh!

There's something
in my Wood Pile.

Oh!!!

Oh sweet Jesus...

Yep...

That's a dick pic...

When you're done looking at
Dicks, would you like a beer?

Umm, no thanks.
I'm alergic to gluten.

We have Angry
Apple for the ladies.

Uh, sure.

I don't know if I should
be drinking tonight.

Should probably
be on full alert.

Don't be a pussy.

1 drink ain't gonna kill ya.

It's not the drink
I'm afraid of.

It's what's out there tonight.

Ahh, let 'em come.

I have special door
prizes for any uh...

unwelcome guests.

Here, try some Takis.

They're delicious!

Sure, I can try one.

Never had these before.

Now we're having fun.

Fucking delicious ain't they?

So Daryl...

Do you work for FIRE as well?

No, I work for Immigration
and Customs Enforcement.

Ah, so like the
people I see on the TV

that are ripping apart families and
separating children from their parents?

I've done no such thing.

Why, just today, I sent an
entire family back to Mexico.

Parents and children together.

I know it might
say ICE on my vest,

but my heart,

is warm in my chest.

Awe!

Well,

that gives me some faith that there's
good people working in our Government.

I mean, everybody deserves
a fair shake at life right?

They do.

And now there's new ways for
them to come over here legally.

That's why the
President created FIRE.

Wait a second...

Let me get this straight...

Forrest and Immigration
Raking Enforcement?

FIRE!

And...

Immigration and
Customs Enforcement?

ICE!

Yes ma'am!

FIRE and ICE?

Who comes up with this sh..

Shh!!!

It's startin'.

Quiet everybody!

This is not a test.

This is the Emergency
Broadcast System.

After the siren, all crime, including
murder, will be legal for 12 hours.

All emergency services will be unavailable
until tomorrow morning at 7am when

the second siren
concludes the Purge.

May God be with you.

That's enough of that already.

Apprentice.

Ooh I love this show!

Alright, are we live?

Oh it's, it's pre-recorded?

Alright, whatever!

Welcome to the first episode
of the Apprentice 2025.

Before we get started,

I just wanted to give a
big shout out to Putin...

For nominating me...

for the Pee-Pee Challenge.

We're going to be doing that
a little bit later this evening.

Nobody does the
Pee-Pee Challenge...

like I do.

Okay.

Nobody!

It's going to be huge!

Very frothy!

Lastly...

It's a special night!

The return of the annual Purge.

Everybody have a great time.

Okay?

I'll be watching via
Space Force satellite

at Mar-a-Iago's clubhouse.

Now...

I'm starting a new business
right here in my city, New York.

We're going to take over
the world of intimate apparel.

Nobody knows
intimate apparel like I do.

I present to you...

Donjerie!

Donjerie will be the finest
clothing a woman can adorne.

Each one of you have one week

to design a completely
new line of bras and panties

unlike anything the fashion
industry has ever seen.

Now, get to work!

What the fuck is that?

It's a fucking handle grip where
you can grab them by the...

What the fuck do you
need a handle grip for?

If it's hanging there and
you grab them by the pussy...

What do you need a handle...?

Why wouldn't you need it?

It's fucking genious!

And what is this? Does
she have 4 nipples?

Do you know?

8 nipples!

Have you ever even seen a woman?

Naked?

Fuck... you!!!

They're both fucking idiots!

They wouldn't know a good
design from a hole in their ass!

I'm the next Apprentice.

Focus on the cannons.

Look at these things.

Gorgeous!

8 nipples, we're good.

When you come down here
and you yank on that shit,

we're good!!!

Why are we gonna
yank on that shit???

Everybody knows, every girl
wants to be yanked by the pussy.

I don't want to be
yanked by the pussy!

Nobody ever wants to
be yanked by the pussy!

Do you wanna be
yanked by the dick?

I want to be yanking pussy!!!

You want to be
yanked by the pussy?

Yes...

I don't have... maybe...

There it is.

Shit!

So Daryl, you work for uh,
Homeland Security too huh?

What agency?

I'm with the...

U.S. Immigration and
Customs Enforcement.

Commonly known as ICE.

Come again? You gotta
talk into my good ear.

God dad, he just went over this!

Listen!

Dad can't hear shit...

Brian!

Language!!

Someone threw a grenade right next
to his tent when he was in Vietnam.

Exploded right by him and
now he's mostly deaf in one ear.

Shrapnel tore right
through my pillow.

I'm lucky to be alive!

So Daryl, have you heard anything
about the new Space Force?

Do you really get
to go into space?

Nah, that will likely be a
branch of the U.S. military.

Unless of course we have
to deal with illegal aliens...

Wait, for real?

Like...

do aliens really exist??

It was a joke dillhole!

Jen!!!

Be nice to your brother!

Hey Brian!

You should come do a
ride along with me sometime.

See what it takes to
keep our borders secure.

Really?

I wouldn't mind a ride along...

It'd be my pleasure to take you.

Mom, can I go on a ride
along with Daryl please?

That sounds fine honey.

Just make sure finish your homework
first and you're back in time for supper.

You know, our immigration
policy is a complete joke...

Speaking of which...

Oh God, here we go again...

You ever hear the one about
the Border Patrol agent...

who catches an illegal
immigrant and says...

I'll let you stay in the U.S.A. if you
can say 3 English words in 1 sentance?

No, can't say I have.

The Border Patrol
thinks to him self uh...

I'm gonna make this
really hard for him.

The 3 English words you
gotta say in 1 sentance...

are green, pink and yellow.

Well the Mexican guy says...

Oh yes sir!

And starts thinking about it.

A couple of minutes later...

he says...

Okay, Okay!

The telephone, it goes
Green... Green... Green...

I Pink it up...

and says Yellow???

Ha Ha... Good one...

Hey!

Oh...

What do you call 4 Mexicans
who drown in the Rio Grande...

while trying to cross
illegally into the U.S.?

I don't know, what?

Quatro (4) Sink-o!!!

I think completely understand
why we have the Purge now.

Huh? What's that?

I said excuse me, I
have to uh, get a refill.

Oh.

Hey!!!

Bring back some Takis!

Sure thing.

You guys good?

What the hell?

Hello!

Hi there!

Wanna make me a drink?

I'm gonna have to
see some ID first...

Uhh...

I'm just kidding...

What will it be?

I don't know!?

Something I've
never had before...

What's your favorite drink?

Hmm?

I think I've got just
the drink in mind...

One special drink...

coming up for
one special lady...

Let's see where they keep
the boose around here...

Not here!

Ah ha!!!

Here it is!

Let's see what we got here...

Shit...

What the fuck are you
gonna do now Daryl?

Think think think think!

Come on...

You've seen that movie
Cocktail at least a 100 times.

WWTD???

What Would Tom Cruise Do???

Take her to Kokomo!

Umm...

I'm really happy...

I ended up coming tonight because I thought
it was honestly gonna be super lame...

But um...

it ended up being pretty cool...

Like you...

Stop staring at her tits...

She's gonna notice...

Just take a glance, look away...

It's like the sun...

Okay, get a grip, get a grip.

You got this!

Oh shit.

Spided Rum is almost gone.

Oh crap.

A little of the blue stuff...

Here we go...

That shoud do it.

Oh, there we go...

Sailor Jerry!

I'm just gonna...

Oop, okay...

Wow!

That's a lot of liquor!

Well...

It takes a lot of liquor to
make this special drink.

Did you go to bar tending
school or something?

Umm... no but...

Prepare yourself
to experience...

something you've
never tasted before.

Excuse me.

Careful...

Whoa!!!

Isaac's doing the Pee-Pee
Challenge on Face Space Live!

What the heck is the
Pee-Pee Challenge?

Is that like one of those...

Tide Pod things where those
stupid kids eat laundry detergent?

Ugh, don't tell me
he's drinking pee...

No!!

It's where you dare somebody to run out into
the middle of the street during the Purge...

and dance while
they take a leak.

And then they have to
nominate someone else to do it...

And if they don't do it...

Then you have to
drink your own pee.

If I ever catch you
doing something like that,

your ass is grass!

And I'm the weed whacker!

It's streaming on like
3 of my friends pages.

Oh shit, here he goes!

What's up everybody?

It's your boy Isaac.

Coming to you live.

I was nominated by Jessie B.

And you know
me, I ain't no bitch!!!

So let's go everybody!

Pee-Pee Challenge!

I-S-DOUBLE-A-C!!!

Let's get it!

Let's go!

Yeah!!!

Pee-Pee,

Gotta go Pee,

Piss inside me,

I don't wanna hold it in.

I gotta go Pee.

Let the flow stream.

Gush outside me.

Gotta know me.

It's so foamy.

Holy Shit!

Ooh...

Isaac just got smashed by a car.

What's up? It's Skizzy!!!

Coming at you live!

I'm taking calls right now for
personal delivery by yours truly.

And Skizzy's Blow Mobile!!!

We've got the finest
powder this side of the border

and delivering direct to
you for the next 10 hours.

So!!!

Send me a text,
or give me a call

at 1-800-YOU-BLOW-ME!

That's 800-825-6963.

Have a wonderful Purge!

I know I will...

I'll see ya later!!!

Classic Darwinism.

Play stupid games,
win stupid prizes.

Some parents these days.

I'm glad you're such
a good boy Brian.

My sweet little accident.

Accident?

Oh sweetie, haven't
you heard the story?

We only wanted one child.

What story?

Honey...

We were done having kids!

But 10 years after
your sister was born,

your father thought he
was doing me a favor...

by refilling my
Tic Tac dispensor.

Always sneaking
them out of my purse!

Hey, love Tic Tacs!

Except they weren't Tic Tacs!

They were my
birth control pills!

What can I say? I'm sorry!!

They tasted exactly the same!

Besides, I'm the one who had the super
super sensative breasts all those years.

My nipples are
still a bit puffy...

And you're still
a little bitchy too!!

Sometimes I swear we
are on the same cycle.

Wow I...

I can't believe you
guys didn't want me.

Awe...

We still love you all the same.

Get over it.

A little bit of that...

Lets see, ooh...

Gotta have a little
bit of peppermint.

Mmm...

And of course some
of the blue stuff.

Can't get away or go
wrong with the blue...

And you gotta have a
little Sailor Jerry in there.

And of course we're gonna wan't just
a little something for some sweetener.

And...

Uh, I don't have any fresh lime.

But I do have this...

squeezy bottle that
looks like a lime.

So, that'll do.

There we go.

That should work.

The top...

and...

give it a shake!!!

Done!!

Alright.

Okay.

And a little bit of a pour...

Ooh..

Ooh it's pretty!

There you go.

Bottom's up!

Cheers!

Oh!

Damn!

What is that drink called?

Uh..

I call it...

Ice.?.?

Ice!?!

Baby!?!

Ice Ice Baby!

Too cold!!

I uh...

I like it...

You did?

I... I...

Yeah, I did.

Uh...

It started off..

Really strong!!

Like super strong!

Umm...

and then it was pepperminty.

And uh then...

uh...

uh, it ended up sweet.

It was sweet.

Like you.

Thanks Daryl!

You're welcome.

I think she's in to me.

Oh, that Donald is one
mean mother fucker!

Mom!

The children!

Such a handsome fella.

If I had any feeling left down
there, I would need to purge myself!!!

Drain the swamp if
you know what I mean.

Mother!!

What would dad do if he were alive
today to hear you speak of such things?

Oh let me tell you!

He always liked to watch me!

Nothing like a little voyeurism
to spice it up in the bedroom.

I would rather not imagine you and
daddy doing your private business.

Or touching your naughty parts.

Well how do you
think you got here?

Immaculate conception?

Even still, we have
young ears present.

It's okay mom.

People talk like that
at school all the time.

You'd be surprised what
children are capable of these days.

Turn right at the next street.

Right here?

Yep.

Keep going and it should
be right at the end of the court.

Let's park here.

You look so pretty.

You're all grown up now.

Alright Hope...

do you remember what to do?

You're gonna walk up to the door
and ring the doorbell all by yourself.

Just like mommy
taught you. Okay?

Now put this
underneath your sign.

Daddy will be
watching right over here.

You have nothing to fear.

Just like we practiced. Okay?

Go on now.

Make mommy and daddy proud.

Go get 'em tiger.

Well...

hello there.

What ya doing outside all here
by your lonesome young lady?

It's not safe to be
outside this time of day.

You should be with
someone that can...

protect you and keep
you safe from those that...

might try to harm you.

You need not be afraid of me.

Why don't you turn around...

so I can get a good look at ya.

That's such a
pretty little dress.

What's this?

You need help...

little girl?

Well.

Why...

why don't you
come inside? And...

I can watch you
for the time being.

And...

Besides, I'm sure
we can figure out...

what to do with you!

Wait a minute!

What's this?

Now wait, wait, wait wait.

I don't mean you no harm.

I don't mean you any harm!

No, I...

You did so well!

I'm so proud of you!

That's my little girl!

Just a little mess here.

There now...

all better!

Now wasn't that fun?

Yes mother.

Let's go to the next house and
see if any perverts are home.

I have the list right here!

Don't think I don't know
what you're up to young lady.

Me?

What?

I see the way you
looked at that boy.

Don't think I wasn't
your age once.

Oh really?

And what is it that
you think I am up to?

Well, the first time
I saw your father...

hmm...

such a strapping young lad.

He was just stepping off a bus

coming home from
a tour in Vietnam.

There's something
about a man in uniform

that gives you the butterflies
in your flower petals.

Flower petals?

You know?

Your 2 lips

Tulips!

Get it?

That's what we used to called
them when your mama was a little girl.

I think I'm gonna excuse myself
from the rest of this conversation.

What is it with you guys
and your swampy tulips?

Jen...

Here, you just make sure you
take right precautionary measures.

Oh my god mom no.

You're so embarrassing.

Well, Jen...

I can't stop you from
doing what your gonna do.

You never know when
you might need them.

Now...

here.

The least I can do is help
you prevent any accidents.

Still love you Brian.

Oh my gosh mom!

Hmm...

They're spearmint.

Your mom's favorite.

Okay...

Eww!

Kids, it's getting late.

And...

I packed jammies for everyone.

So!

Let's get into them so you are all
com for able throughout the night.

Here you go Jen.

Okay.

And for dad.

I haven't worn these in forever.

Yeah mom, we don't need to
be tucked in for nite nite anymore.

Well.

As long as you are under
the same roof with me,

you will follow my rules.

Thank you.

Oh, that reminds me!

Brian!

I made you a little
something special

to keep you warm at night!

Grandma you...

didn't have to.

Oh don't be silly.

Now go try it on, I
want to see how it fits!

Do I have to?

Don't be rude now.

I'm sure grandma put a lot of
love and time into making that.

Show some appreciation.

The tag says made in China.

Go!!

Fine!

Such as fine young man.

He's a spittin' image of your
father when he was that age.

Shit, should
probably lose the vest.

Oh shit.

My hair looks
like shit like usual.

Ooh... I need to...

Slightly pepperminty.

Get a little pump going.

Do some pushups.

What in the fuck are you doing?

Hey uh...

Just uh...

Keeping the old blood flowing.

Gotta be ready for
anything. You know?

Stop humping my kitchen floor!

You were supposed
to bring back Takis!

Oops... Shit that's right!

Don't bother, I'll get 'em.

Sorry about that.

Do I really have to wear this?

So embarrassing.

Oh you look so handsome!

I could just squeeze ya!

Come on son, what do you say?

Thanks grandma...

I just knew you'd love it.

Now you come here and sit down
by me and be my big Bri-Bri-Bear.

John, you were picked
as a team leader.

Let's see your design!

Well Donald, I think you're really gonna
enjoy what we've come up with for you.

Let's bring out the model.

Interesting.

What's this?

This is a rich
corinthian leather

crotchless

panty

with matching bra.

Oh gosh.

Donjerie?

I wonder if you can
order it on the website?

I can see it's crotchless,

but what's that on the sides?

I thought you might notice that.

Those are special placed handle grips made
from 7075 aircraft grade aluminum alloy.

The same material
used in fighter jets.

Handle grips?

Handle grips for what?

Well, you know...

So you can... Grab
'em by the pussy!

Those idiots.

And you thought that
would be a good idea?

Well...

I saw your open
mic interview on TV,

and I thought surely a man of your
taste would appriciate such fine amenities.

You thought wrong...

Drew Careys!

Come again?

Dra Carris?

I don't quite follow.

You know, Dracarys!!

Your Fired!!!

Wait...

Wait...

I can make it in gold...

Get him out of here!

Wait...

What about diamond crusted?

Diamond crusted!!!

Out now!!!

Loser!!

Ahh that's funny.

Must obtain more beverage.

Sorry...

I just binge watched the entire
8 seasons of Game of Thrones.

Do you wanna have rock hard abs?

Well how about
a rock hard penis?

Well you can have both!!

Introducing...

Steel Labido!!!

Have you been called pudgy?

How about flacid?

You can have a 6 pack
torpedo of Steel Labido!

Just as I thought.

For only 17 payments

Another quiet night.

Of $49.95.

That's the beauty of living
out here in the country.

I don't always work out.

Still think we should all
stay together until morning.

But when I do,

just to be safe.

I go hard!!

We can alternate watches
so we can all get some rest.

Steel Labido!!!

Daryl??

Whoo!!!

Please see a Doctor if your
erection lasts longer than 5 hours...

Figures...

Not recommended
for small children.

What's going on here?
Who the hell are you?

Deputy Director Johnson.

Welcome

to the anual Purge.

Sorry about the
little boo boo, we...

forgot to strap you
in on the way here.

What's the meaning of this?

Who are you?

What do you want with me?

What do we want?

Yeah!!

You think we got all
dressed up like this...

just to come over and say...

Hello neighbor!?!?

Come on Harold...

You're a smart guy!

It's the Purge.

You know what the word
Purge means don't you?

No! No! You can't touch
me! I'm a government official!!

Well...

You'll be know as a former...

government official.

No! No!

I have immunity from the Purge!

Immunity?

Yes!!!

Well...

let's see about that!

Ahhh!!!

Ahhh!! That's
my fucking hand!!!

What are you doing???

Ahhh!!!

Looks like you don't
have immunity after all.

Fuck!!!

Nope!

What the hell man???
That's my, that's my hand!!!

Not any more.

Fuck!

What do you want?
Money? You want...

I can get you money!
Do you need money?

No!!!

Shit!!!

No!!!

Mother!!!

We want your resignation.

What??? Resignation???

Are you kid... I don't
even fucking understand...

It's simple.

Consider this...

a demotion!

No! Wait! Wait!!

Oh...

Oof...

Must tinkle!!!

Now which was was
that damn bathroom?

Open the gate!

You 3, go to the left
to case the house.

You guys, go to the right.

Keep your eyes open!

The moneys around
here somewhere!

Show no mercy!

Oh fuck!!

Ahhhhh!!!!!!

Sweet Jesus!!

What was that?

It sounded like an explosion!!!

That was a booby trap!

Either we have visitors,

or one of them damn
goats got out again.

Kids are you okay???
Are you okay???

Yeah, yeah mom we're okay.

Hey!

Get him!

Tom!

Dad!

Tom!

Tom!

Dad!

What? What??

Wake up!

There was a loud boom outside!!

I didn't hear anything...

Come on get up!

Come on Tom!

Get up get up!

Wait! Where's grandma???

Come on!

What???

Mom!!!

Bill, you don't think
mom wandered outside?

Stay Calm!

Stay calm!

Daryl!

I need to talk to you!

Stay right there.

What's going on?

We got this!

Stay right there!

Daryl...

I need you to stay here

and protect my family.

I need to go outside,

check the perimeter

and see what's going on.

Yeah sure um...

How should I protect them?

With your service piece.

What do you mean?

I left it at home.

I'm off duty!

Jesus Christ Daryl!

Just because you punch
out on the time clock

does not mean you
stop delivering justice.

Here!

Use this!

Do you always carry 2 guns?

3...

Alrighty...

Where's the safety?

It's called your finger.

When you're ready
to shoot something,

squeeze the trigger.

Here...

put these in your pocket.

You might need them later.

You got this brother.

Alright.

Lock the door behind me.

Be careful out there.

It's just me and you Betsy!

Come get some!!!

Don't be pointing that
around the house!!!

Are you sure you're
qualified to handle that thing?

Yes ma'am!

I'm a sworn officer of the law.

Here to serve and
protect children

and sweet women
such as your lovely self.

Ahhh shit.

Crap!!

You have one?

You have one for me?

Thank you.

Locked and loaded.

My uncle Bill know
you have that?

Yes ma'am he gave it to me.

Oh God help us.

Pew Pew...

Jenna?

Looks like we've got a problem.

Just as I thought...

Burrr!!!

Takes care of that.

Sweet Jesus!

Takes care of what?

Well, the heaters on and...

someone left the
bedroom window open.

I just saved Bill money
on his electric bill.

Our hero!

You know, you should...

probably be a little more careful
sneaking up from behind people.

Especially someone who is...

packing...

Oh yeah?

What, would you have
busted a cap at me?

Well...

I wasn't really expecting it.

And it...

just happened so fast...

that I...

really didn't have
enough time to pull out.

You're lucky!

Well...

Maybe you just need
some more practice?

I pracitce...

I practice lots!

I mean...

not too much!

But...

enough!

I can be ready
when the time comes.

Pulling out's over rated.

Uh...

I can...

keep it in if you prefer...

So you're on a dating app huh?

There's no lucky girl at
home waiting for you to get off?

No.

I don't get out much these days.

It's...

hard to meet real people.

So,

I figured... why not
try the old interwebs?

But I'm here with
you, right now...

Am I not real to you?

I mean...

you look real...

and...

I'm not one to question the
validity of a womans anatomy.

But,

from what I can tell,

you're as beautiful a
woman as they come!

You're cute!

Umm...

thanks, you, you're...

you're very...

Thank you!

Come on Daryl.

We should stick together.

Looks like we got
ourselves some visitors.

What in the hell is
going on out there?

I don't know.

It sounds like people
are shooting at each other.

Shit!!!

Those are definitely
different calibers firing.

Do you see anyone out there?

That's a lot of gun fire.

Even I can hear that.

Sub-machine gun, 9mm.

Heard that all day long
when I was overseas.

Can you see Bill?

Is he okay?

It's difficult to make
of what's going on.

Should somebody go out
there and check on him?

Honey, maybe we should get
away from the window and...

go back to the couch
where it's safer?

I think Daryl has
things in hand here.

I'm pretty sure I've seen multiple
people moving around out there.

I think we're surrounded.

Oh my God...

Tom!

Should you go out
there and help Bill?

My duty is to stay right
here and look after my family!

Bill's trained to
handle this sort of thing.

I'm sure he's okay.

Come on, let's go back to
the living room where it's safe.

Jenna, you too!

No, I'm gonna
stay here with Daryl.

Come on!

No, I can take
care of myself dad!

Jax Maxwell!?!?

Sergeant...

Jax...

Maxwell!?!?

Fucking body armor!!!

I...

think I hear a skilsaw...

What the hell is that?

Wait, where are you going?

I'm going in the other room.

There's something out there.

I need to get a better look.

I need you to stay
here with your family.

I'll be right back!

Okay!

Wait, you promise???

Fuck yeah I do!!!

Uh, what was that???

A pinky swear...

What the hell is that?

Ahhh!!!

Jesus Christ!!!

What the hell was that?

Okay...

Okay.

Okay, Okay, Okay...

I know I'm not crazy.

Hey!!

Hello??

Give us the money man...

and we'll let you live.

Stay back!!

I will shoot...

If you come any closer!

I told you...

to stay back!!

Listen Daryl...

Let's talk about
this man to man.

I don't want to hurt you.

I can get you out
of this situation!

How...

How do you know my name???

And why should I...

trust someone who's holding
an axe and wearing a mask???

Okay, okay...

I'll drop my weapon,

and lift up my mask.

There...

is that better?

No!!!

Look!

The guys know the
money's in there.

Just hand it over,
and this will all be over.

Look.

I'm taking off my mask.

I don't know anything
about any money.

Stop playing games man.

The guys know
the money's in there

and they're gonna
stop at nothing...

Including killing your ass.

I can get you out
of this situation.

Let me help you.

You know it's not
safe to be here.

You know it's not
safe to be here.

It's you.

You're the guy
from the gas station!

I knew you didn't
want to help me!

You just wanted to kill me!!

I'm not gonna tell you again.

If you don't hand over
that 1.4 million dollars...

I'm gonna come in that house...

and kill every last one
of you motherfuckers!

It's your choice.

Look man,

you must have a...

a hearing problem.

Because...

I've already told you

I don't know anything

about any money.

Fine.

Have it your way.

But I tried to be nice.

You're not coming in this house.

And I don't...

want...

to shoot you. Okay??

Shit!!!!

You're aiming sucks
and for all I know,

You're probably out of bullets.

I know what you're thinking.

Have I shot 6 shots?

Or have I shot 5???

Shit!!!

How many shots did I shoot?

Game over man.

I don't...

want to hurt you.

Goodbye Daryl.

Oh fu...

I'm sorry!

Shit.

Jesus fucking Christ Daryl!

Keep it together,
keep it together.

Oh right there... Oh.

Yes!

Oh!

Yes!

Yes!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Mmmm...

Oh yeah!

Oh!

Oh!!!

Oh!!!!!!

Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes!!!!!

Put my legs up.

No no.

Put them back down.

Put your legs up!

Yes!!!!

Spin the other way...

Oh!!

Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

What was that?

Like 19 times?

Oh baby, thers gonna be more!

What else could we possibly do?

I have a surprise for you!

Oh!

Oh Richard!!!

Surprise #1.

Pucker up sweet cheeks!

Now what in the fuck is that??

Who you supposed to be?

Little dead riding hood?

I don't get the joke.

The only funny thing
I saw tonight was...

your friend

setting off my Tannerite.

Now that was funny!

Man...

Wish I had my security
camera setup to my DVR.

I'm just happy
nobody's killed you yet.

Well, that makes 2 of us.

And now that we
agree on something,

let's call it a night.

Oh no.

That just means I
get to kill you myself.

Are you still mad
'cause I did't call?

That was for fun.

This is business.

Come again?

Not this round.

This time...

you gotta go!

Bring it on sugar tits!

Alright pops.

But this time...

we're playing for keeps.

You know you're
not playing fair!

I'd never hit a lady!

Come on you fucking pussy!!

Nothing pisses me off more

than being treated like a woman

who can't handle her shit!!

I don't mean to offend,

but...

I'm old fashioned!

And lucky for you,

I'm getting tired of this shit!

Well that wasn't very
gentleman like of you!

I know.

I usually don't do
head until the 2nd date.

But things have always been
moving a little fast for you and I.

I'm not quite sure
how this counts.

Let's just call it a 2nd date.

Well, as stimulating as
this conversation has been,

I'm gonna have to cut
things a little bit short.

See...

You have something
that belongs to us.

And I think we'll be
taking it back now.

Ahhh!!!!!

Ahhh!!!!!

Enjoy you're early
retirement Bill!

God damn it!!!

Keep pressure on it!!

What a waste.

Oh!

Oh!!!!

Oh!

Oh!!!

Oh!!!

Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi.

You've reached the voicemail
of Captain Richard Sully.

Crap!!!

I'm not available to
take your call right now.

But please leave a message and I
will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thanks!

Captain Sully!

It's Bill!!

Got some shit going
down at my house.

Looks like cops!

I...

I recognize one of them as...

Jax Maxwell.

You're the only one I trust.

Get your ass down here
as soon as you get this!

And hurry the fuck up!

Fuckin' dick!

Let's play some more!

What?

You thought sneaking
up on me I'd be shocked?

You wanna start some static?

You wanna play with knives?

I got nothin' on that!

Missed call from Bill?

What in the hell does
he want at this hour?

Who cares??

Get your tush back over here!

Just a minute Marge,
this could be important.

Oh Richard!!

I said just a minute!

Where's the other butt plug?

Your turn!!!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh!?!?!?

Oh...

yeah!!!!!

Sorry Bill.

He got the drop on me.

Drop your weapon...

or I'll shoot him.

Alright.

Take it easy.

Nobody needs to get hurt.

I'm unarmed.

I've waited all day for this.

Who are you?

I see you managed
to take out my men.

You picked the
wrong house buddy.

I'm not your buddy.

I'm your worst nightmare!

Hey!

What the hell's
wrong with this thing?

I'm your worst nightmare!

And tonight...

I will Purge you from existance!

What's with the disguise?

You afraid to face
me like a man?

What?

Are you a coward?

I'll show you who's a coward!

You'll beg me to spare your life

after you watch me carve up

each and every person you love

into itty

bitty

pieces!

Shit!!!

What the hell is
wrong with this thing?

Why doesn't anything
go as planned?

Aidan?

Aidan is that you???

Shut up!!

Aidan!!!

What in the hell are you doing?

I don't need a mask.

No more hiding.

Aidan we're partners!!!

I'm not your partner!

I'm not your friend!

You...

Daryl,

your family.

You're everything that's
wrong with this country!

You're the reason this
country needs the Purge!

And I'm gonna enjoy...

every last minute of it.

Aidan,

It doesn't have to end this way.

You can just walk away.

No!!

It definitely has
to end this way!

I'm not gonna walk
away empty handed.

What do you want from me Aidan?

What's this all about?

Like I told you before...

Word on the street is...

you had a big bust.

Scored a hefty chunk of change.

Log books say...

1.4 million

placed into evidence.

But we checked the boxes.

There's no money.

So my thought is...

you added yourself a little
bonus to your retirement.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

I didn't take any money.

Tell me where the money is...

or I'm gonna start peeling them

one by one

until you do.

I told you

I don't know anything
about any money,

Okay.

You want games.

Let's play games.

I'll find the money.

To be totally honest,

I was planning on
killing everybody anyway.

Seeing as how I can
be a generous guy,

I'm gonna let you
pick who dies first.

So who's it gonna be?

The pretty little niece?

Tell me my love...

How do you like it?

Get your hands off her!!

Fast?

Slow?

Maybe your little nephew
wants to volunteer.

Get off me!

Do you want to be
tonights first little sacrifice?

Uh oh!

Looks like we had
a little accident.

Should have worn
the yellow pants.

Fuck you!!

Now you have Pee-Jay's!

Awe fuck it!

We're out of time.

I guess

I'm just gonna have
to choose for you Bill.

I like to keep it classy

being a gentlemen and all.

So...

No!!!!

Ladies first!

Wait!!!

Well?

You gonna tell
me who dies first?

Or where the money is?

I've decided who dies first.

Well?

You...

Dickhead!

Everybody alright?

Yeah I think so.

Everybody okay?

It would be nice to
get out of these cuffs.

I got to give it to you Bill.

I didn't see that coming.

Where's grandma?

Knowing my men,

They gutted her already.

You son of a bitch!!

You're not gonna walk
away from this one!

Well.

Saved by the bell.

Look's like it's
too late for you.

God damn!

That shit hurts!

That was a close one!

You're not gonna
get away with this.

It's too late buddy.

The Purge is over.

Should have packed something
a little bit bigger down there.

See you at work.

Captain!

Hey, is everybody okay?

That was a close one!

Hey buddy, I'm sorry
I missed your call.

But all emergency services were
down and I got here as quick as I could.

Just in time.

You saved my ass.

Are you okay?

Huh?

No.

No, I think I might have slipped
somehting in my lower back.

I'll be okay.

Hey, that's quite a
mess you made outside.

Looks like you
had quite a night.

My partner...

who you just took out..

And a group of his friends,

appear to be from the
State police task force.

And the rest I suspect
work for the agency.

Oh yeah...

It's too bad about
Sasha and Jax.

Did they get what
they were after?

Well, Daryl and
I are still alive.

Although he's gonna wake
up with a mighty headache.

So I'm gonna have to say...

They did not
complete their mission.

So...

they didn't get the money.

The money?

Yeah!

The money from the Velasco bust!

That's what they
came here for right?

I assume you stashed
it somewhere safe.

I never said anything
about any money.

Yes you did, in your voicemail.

You told me that Aidan was here

with his men and
to get the money.

I never said it was Aidan.

He didn't take
his mask off until

well into this.

Damn it Bill.

It wasn't supposed
to go down like this.

Put your hands behind your head.

Now turn around
and get on your knees.

You know I tried to get
you away from all of this?

All you had to do

was finish your last
2 weeks in FIRE.

Where's my million dollars?

It's...

1...

point...

4...

million...

Jesus Christ!!!

Boss.

Will you please shut the
fuck up and die already?

So where's my 1 point...

4 million dollars???

Why are you doing this Captain?

You think I'm going to walk
away from this agency...

with that shitty retirement
salary they're gonna give me?

You know I gave my life...

gave 30 years of
my life to this shithole!

I knew that Velasco
bust would be a big take.

It was just enough
to set me up nicely

where no one would
even know it's gone.

All you had to do was allow
my men to take the money.

Hell...

I would have cut you in.

But I knew that you were
too much of a good old boy.

But you just had to
process the scene.

I'll find the money.

But I'm afraid I can't
leave any loose ends.

What??

Well I may just
have to call this in.

Let's see what I've got...

1 agent down.

Maybe uh...

6 other casualties?

Hey, you know your
voicemail was the perfect alibi.

Unfortunately by the
time I arrived here,

Aidan had killed everyone.

And we all know...

that killing after the 2nd
Purge Siren is illegal!!

Aidan certainly has
nothing to say about it.

I shot him just before
he drew down on me.

There's a reason why
I made it to the top Bill.

You're not on the top.

You're still 2nd in command.

Oh, you didn't hear?

I got a promotion last night!

Let's just say that Director
Johnson has unexpectedly...

been relieved of duty.

So that's your method
of upward mobility?

If maybe you followed my lead
instead of always playing by the book...

you would have
been my successor.

I'm sorry,

but your dedication
has got you killed Bill.

No, no, no!

No!

Grandma!?!?!?

What??

You were missing!

We thought you might be dead!

Nah!!

Fell asleep on the crapper.

Woke up to the sound
of the Purge siren.

From the looks of things,

just in time to get my Purge on!

Ma,

That was the second siren.

The Purge...

was over.

Oops!

Well,

I won't tell if you won't!

Now,

who wants pancakes???

Kids, are you okay?

You okay?

You're okay.

You'll be okay.

Come on, let's see if he's okay.

Let's get him rolled over.

Daryl!

Daryl!

Daryl!

Daryl!

Hey buddy, wake up!

You're alive!

Jenna?

Is this heaven?

He's alive!

Hey bro!

Bill?

Are we all dead?

Not yet.

Let me help you up.

Man...

the last thing I remember
I was about to be purged.

Then I heard...

Aidan's voice?

Captain Sully?

What the hell happened?

It's a long tale bro.

Come on,

let's get you some fresh air.

Besides, my back
teeth are floating.

What was that for?

For being my hero.

Hero?

Yeah.

If you weren't here at the
right time and the right place

those men could have
came in and killed us.

You protected my family and me.

And I think you're pretty hot.

Even though you work for ICE.

Well...

you're not so bad yourself.

Shut up and kiss me back
before I change my mind!

Yes ma'am.

You should go
get that fresh air!

But!

You should take me to
breakfast when you get back.

Take you out?

Like on a date?

Yeah!

You think you can handle that?

I think I can manage.

But,

I'm not from around here so
you might have to pick the place.

Alright, umm...

what about Westley's Diner?

It's by the gas station.

Westley's huh?

Or if you would prefer
Buttercup Pantry?

As you wish...

What?

Marriage!!!

Marriage!

Is what brings us...

together...

today!!!

Let's slow down there okay?

Let's just start with sharing
some sausage and eggs first!

It's...

from The Princess Bride!

You know?

Westley and Buttercup?

No...

Go get your fresh air.

Come back to me though.

Promise?

Okay.

But,

sausage and eggs!

Sounds cool!

I like to flip it
over easy and...

dip it in the yolk!

Go!

Well, look's like she's getting
the ride along before me.

Brian!

That's no way to
talk about your sister!

And you need to
get out of those...

Pee-Jays!

Yeah...

Hmm...

Who did he say is riding who?

Oh, nothing dear.

We need to get
you a hearing aid!

First batch coming up!!

Come on.

Let's get you some pancakes.

Me lady!

Mmm that smells amazing!

Enjoy!

Yummy!

Bon appétit!

Thank you!

And the big one's for me!

That's a lot of
dead people Bill!

Told ya...

it's a long story.

Thanks for having me over!

You're right,

I don't think I would
have survived the night

if all of those guys
came to my house.

Well,

to be honest,

I don't think my family would have
survived if you hadn't been here.

I want to thank you for that.

Timber!!!!!!!

You've got wood!!

Timber!!!!!!!

Alight!!!

You know uh...

speaking of family...

I'm gonna uh...

take you're niece
out to breakfast later.

Her and I have a...

real connection!

She wants to do a ride along.

And...

by ride along...

I mean intercourse!

We'll talk about that later!

And we'll see how she feels
about it when she's sober!

Your uhh...

nephew Brian seems cool too!

He also wants
to do a ride along!

Excuse me??

Uhh...

That came out wrong.

Yes it did!

You break her heart,

I break your dick!

I...

I don't want that!

Just fucking with you bro!

Ohh huh...

Ooh...

We're good!

Bill,

you're not such
a bad guy after all.

I don't care what all
those other people say!

Nah...

you're not so bad yourself!

Even though you're ICE!

You know,

I may have been wrong.

Maybe FIRE and ICE can mix.

Hmm...

FIRE...

ICE...

You wanna?

What the hell!

Whoa!!!