1988: The Remake (1977) - full transcript

- My name is Thomas Steel.

I'm the attorney for
the makers of the film

that you're about to
see, "Showboat 1988."

This film originally
contains several references

to a film called "Showboat"
and to a novel by the same name

by Edna Ferber.

When (beep) heard
about Showboat 1988,

they sent letters and telegrams
saying that their property

rights in the original
"Showboat" had suffered

by virtue of this parody.

This caused the distributor
to drop the film



and the cancellation
of several showings.

Now the law of
copyright infringement
is extremely unclear.

It says basically that
a person making a parody

can take no more from the
original than is necessary

to conjure up the
image of that original.

The problem is, that a film
maker seldom knows in advance

how much the court will
say is necessary to

conjure up the image
of the original.

If you cross that shadowy line,

you can be liable for
copyright infringement.

The problem also is that
the holders of the copyright

on films such as
"Showboat" are ordinarily

large corporations
such as (beep).

And a film maker can't
afford to defend his right



to parody in the face of
the unlimited resources

of those corporations.

So the mere threat
of a lawsuit can

effectively silence a parody.

The only way that the
makers of this film

could distribute it was
by total censorship.

Removing all references to
the earlier film "Showboat"

and thus avoiding further
threats by (beep).

You will hear a bleep when
you would've heard the word

showboat or other showboat
related references.

A black X will appear
when showboat related

graphic material
would've appeared.

And subtitles will
indicate materials

that have been deleted.

The title will be changed to
Showboat 1988, not the remake.

As you'll hear the
film describe itself,

it's a musical comedy
with a stench of death.

As the film begins, you may
just hear Paul Robeson's

singing that famous Showboat
tune, "Old Man (bleep)."

- Every one is a star, everyone.

And I wanna give them
the chance to show it.

And to find out for themselves.

I want them to write out
their fantasies in celluloid.

My producer thinks
it's impossible.

My assistant director
thinks it's impossible.

And the money-men think
that I'm out of my mind.

That's what convinces me.

Not only that it's possible,
but that it's necessary.

(applause)

- One, two, one,
two, three, four.

* That old man (bleep)

* That old man (bleep)

* He don't need nothing

* He keeps on rocking

* Man old man (beep)

* Well, he just, just
keeps rolling along

* He don't need a t-bug

* He don't got a moped

* He don't pay no taxes

* He don't give a shit either

* That old man (beep)

* Well, he just, just keeps
rocking, rocking along

* Leave that barge

* Tie up that bail

* Take a little strut

* And boy you're gonna
get your ass in jail *

- You and me, we strive
in sweats and string.

Bodies aching, rats, the pain.

Bend your knees
and bow your head

Pull that rope
until you're dead.

But you know that old man,

that old man (beep)

he just keeps rolling on.

Old man (beep),
oh, old man (beep).

Oh, old man (beep)

Oh, old man (beep)

Old, old man (beep)

Old man (beep)

Old man (beep)

- [Voiceover] Hey Ed.

- Huh?
- [Voiceover] Lunch.

- What?

- It's lunch time.

- Oh my god.

I gotta get going.

- What time you get off today?

- What time I off?

- Yeah.

- What day is it?

- [Voiceover] Find it?

- Ricky's learned to
like this ham too.

Of course, naughty
naughty the hog.

Here, Squee.

Not you, here.

I'm off.

- By the way, that letter
you got from Kaiser hospital,

did that have the results
of your examination?

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- What was the result?

- Negative.

It was just what Dr.
Oman and I both figured.

It was just to double check.

- I am the executioner!

A master at my craft.

The executioner.

One who knows where
to make the cut.

One who knows when to sever
the self from the bones

with one clean stroke.

Each day just adds
to the bone piles.

Pile of ribs, could
you give me one please?

I am the executioner!

- Mr. Nylund.

Aren't you leaving
a little early?

- I'm sorry.

- Cut, cut, cut!

Here's the head
of my last victim.

I'll show you what I did to him.

I'll show you how I cut.

I'll show you how I cut.

I'll show you, I'll show
you, I'll show you how I cut.

There goes another one.

- So that's the story.

The doctor isn't sure
how long it will go.

I know it's very inconvenient
for me to leave right now.

It's awfully inconvenient
to get news like that.

So I'll take this
instead of the watch.

- [Voiceover] Okay,
George is going to...

George is going to exhibit
her tattoo for us now.

If we can possibly get this
around her everything, yes.

Could you possibly zoom in
on that a little bit, George?

This is an actual autographed
tattoo by Lyle Tuttle.

You can see it says
L-Y-L-E T-U-T-T-L-E.

This is one of the few
autographed tattoos
and everything.

All right.

No, we mustn't have
any defamatory...

All right.

Go ahead on, fellows
and everything.

- Any more?

- How come you're back so
early from the library?

- I have a CT day,
I took half day off.

- I'm looking through
these old scrap books.

- [Voiceover] You are?

- They bring back
memories of old times.

- [Voiceover] My sister Anne
is 10 years older than I.

She always, I guess,
had great hopes for me.

That I would become something.

So 1932, I entered the
University of California

as a pre-medical student.

And I did well.

I was accepted to
the medical school.

And I guess that's when I
kind of started falling apart.

Because I lost my desire
to be a physician.

My sister was disappointed
that I didn't go into medical

school, it was
partially financial too.

This was during the
depression, the 1930's.

When, for instance,
I had to borrow $25

for my registration fee.

That was the total
registration fee

and I had to borrow that and
pay it off little by little.

So the going through
medical school was $100.

And I couldn't quite
make it at that time.

Turned out that I have
a relative who said,

"Why don't you borrow
the money from me?"

I had never thought of that.

And unfortunately, my
family had this kind of

Gloomy Gus pessimistic view.

They would try only
up to a certain point.

And I kind of learned that.

So when you got to a certain
point and there was defeat,

you didn't try any harder.

You just simply said, "Oh
well, that's my fate."

- You going camping?

You going camping again?

- Yeah.

- You just went
camping 10 days ago.

- Yeah, I know.

Well, I felt like going
and I'm gonna go alone.

You want the TV on?

- Oh yeah, thank you.

- [Voiceover] What channel?

- Oh, I guess 9.

- [Voiceover] San Francisco
has been majored as

holding open auditions for
a new film, (beep) 1988.

A remake of the stage and
film classic using acts

that are today, not an
imitation of the past.

He has a $10,000 grant to
create what he says will be

a five, or maybe
seven hour film.

The stars will be these
people unmasking themselves.

They will not get rich.

There is no pay involved.

But it will be their
big chance to make magic

on the silver screen.

(applause)

- [Voiceover] Hey,
get out of the shot!

Fuck off, you get
out of that shot.

- [Voiceover] What
are you doing, man?

- [Voiceover] Oh well,
I'll make it up to you.

- [Voiceover] What
are you doing, Ed?

- [Voiceover] I
finally found you,

we're gonna make a great movie.

- Same old con, huh, Ed?

- [Voiceover] No, not
a con, I got the money.

- What money?

- For the movie!

The great movie!

- [Voiceover] What movie?

What fucking movie?

- (beep) 1988!

(piano music)

- Okay?

You got it?

(applause)

- [Voiceover] Describe it to us.

- Well, since the record player
broke down and couldn't play

what I was going to dance to,

I would have to describe that
just direct spirit call down

on emergency.

- [Voiceover] Direct spirit
call down on emergency?

It's a very existential
title there.

Where did you get
that title from?

- Well, I'm putting that
into words as best as I can.

- [Voiceover] Very good.

That's the words that came
to you about your act?

- That's right.

- How long has it taken
you to develop this act?

- It took about
24 years for me to

strip off a lot of
levels, layers, excuse me,

of trips and images that I
felt I had to go through.

- This is like a
culmination of 24 years.

Are you 24?

- Yeah.

- All right.

So this is like you at 24.

- Yeah, deciding that I
want to do something that

hasn't been handed
in, produced for me.

- All right.

- [Voiceover] My name
is Darryl Wagner.

- 108.

- I'm going to dance for you.

(dramatic music)

- [Voiceover] Ed, I can't keep
handing these guys the shit.

I mean, they laugh in my face.

Either you get big
names or you forget it.

- I don't want big names.

I don't want Zaneck, I
don't want Betty Davis.

Hollywood would
poison this film.

I want a sidewalk (beep).

- Ed, do you wanna make a movie?

Or do you wanna stay in
this ridiculous suite

until they throw us out?

Look, I've got six
bucks, do you want it?

That won't even
pay for breakfast.

You're making a movie, Ed.

- Skip, we've got $10,000.

Dick and I are gonna pick
it up tomorrow morning.

- [Voiceover] Where, Ed?

- I want a film that
comes out of America.

A film America gives to
itself instead of buying a

pre fap from Hollywood.

I wanna give the
means of production.

a production of images,

back to the people.

I'd like to thank you
for your patience.

We've set this up because
this is a historic moment.

I'd like to introduce
the man who has given us

and has provided most of the
money for this production.

The producer, Skip Covington.

(applause)

Thank you, Skip.

Then the man who has done a
lot of the dirty desk work,

under the hatchet work.

And this is the person
that I have to rely upon.

And this is Dick Richardson,
the assistant rescue.

(applause)

- You're the big boys.

- Yeah.

- How's it feel?

- Feels pretty good.

I don't know, I'm kind of
disappointed in the talent

that we've seen so far.

- Here's my card.

Here's my card.

- Well, I don't have
anything to do with this,

could you take it to
the stage manager,

he's right over there.

- [Voiceover] Who's that,
somebody that's late?

- Yeah, he's late.

We had a lot of
them around here,

we've had a lot of
trouble with the numbers

and keep them in style.

- Skip, what was that?

- [Skip] Oh, some
guy had a card.

He didn't know
what to do with it.

- [Voiceover] Oh, yeah,
that's the same one.

- [Voiceover] Oh, okay.

- Testing.

Good evening.

Sorry about that.

My name is Rich Perr,

and I'm going to do some
sound effects for you.

- [Voiceover] Wait a minute.

What is this, the
Ed Sullivan show?

Could you...

- Skip, Skip.

- [Voiceover] All right.

On our stage, we have with
us from Mona, California.

The entire cast and crew...

- [Voiceover] Ladies
and gentlemen, (beep)

it's a fabulous thing.

- Wait a minute, wait.

I don't think you quite
understand what's going on her.

- [Voiceover] Skip, Skip.

- Could you do something...

- We had an agreement, we
had an agreement about this.

- Wait a minute.

- We talked about this already.

It's a sidewalk
show, they come in.

- Go ahead.

- [Voiceover] I
grew up in the 50's

so I was raised
with radio, right?

They didn't have television.

So I had all those great
little things they listened to,

all those imaginary
sounds in the background.

Little things like...

And then he would go...

And it was always...

- This is upsetting?

- It's upsetting for me, yes.

Because, as far as I can
see, we can't use this man.

- [Voiceover] Skip,
cool it, cool it.

- I can't be here...

- [Voiceover] What are
you really looking for?

- [Voiceover] Flavor.

How did you get into the

theatrical field
in the first place?

- [Voiceover] Why
don't you take it easy?

- [Voiceover] Skip, Skip.

- Listen.

- [Voiceover] I used to make
sound effects with my mother.

We used to sit in the kitchen,

we didn't have too
many modern appliances,

so we would takes things
like garbage disposal.

- [Voiceover] I think
this is one of the most

honest acts we've seen tonight.

And yet the producer and the
director both feel uptight.

What's happening?

- Just give him a chance.

Let him go and then...

- I'll tell you what's
wrong with me is that,

we're spending my money and
you've got all this shit

on the stage that
we can't even use.

- We don't have to
have him in the show.

We can cut him out,
that's the whole thing.

We agreed upon that.

- [Voiceover] All
right, all right.

Let's just listen then.

In a movie, even
more than a play.

You have to think about cost,

because you have to think
about film and crew.

The settings like what
this hall is costing us.

And you've gotta think
about all those things.

And you gotta also think about
the fact that you've got...

Very little time to do it in.

Very little time.

- So you're prostituting it?

Your own creativity, your
own hopes and desires

in a 20th century
model, economic model.

So you in fact, are as much a
victim as the people on stage.

You're frustrated, you're
looking for something.

Everyone on stage is
looking for something.

When will the two
images combine?

- I wanna make the movie

and I gotta get at least
10,000 15,000 dollars.

But I don't know how to get it.

- Get it from the bank.

- The bank?

How do I do that?

- Get it from the bank.

Use your house and
get it from the bank.

- How?

- A loan.

- The house?

Oh my god, that would be a mess.

- What the hell.

- A regular mess.

- What are you worried about?

- Don't you
understand the setup?

My sister and I are co-owners.

- If you really wanna do this.

- We're co-owners.

- Ed, don't worry about that.

- If she ever finds out,
if she ever finds out.

My god, that will just
blow the whole thing.

I can't do that.

- If she finds out after
the movie, it's okay.

Just don't worry
about those things.

You have the deed?

- I go to the bank, right?

- You hold the deed?

- Well, I can get it.

- Okay.

Get the deed.

- So I sign it and
then what do I do?

- We'll take care of that.

We'll work that out.

- The Y is all wrong.

- [Voiceover] Here, second page.

- Hey, man, do you want
anyone to believe this or not?

I mean...

- [Voiceover] What are you
getting for this, 100 bucks?

- I don't know.

- [Voiceover] Need a 100 bucks?

- I need to get this right.

- [Voiceover] Here.

- [Ed] No, it won't work.

- [Voiceover] Two, three.

- [Ed] I won't do it.

It doesn't feel good.

- [Voiceover] Just
sign that right here.

Come on.

- [Ed] Dick, listen to me.

I can't do it.

- [Voiceover] I gave you a
100 bucks before, as I recall.

Right there.

- [Ed] Dick.

- [Voiceover] Ed.

Go back to the bed
and lay down, huh?

Come on.

Not now, later, go on.

- [Ed] Do you think it'll work?

Can we get by with it?

- [Voiceover] Ed, go back
to the bed and lay down.

I don't wanna talk
about these things now.

- [Ed] Listen.

All right.

- [Voiceover] Ed,
leave me alone.

- [Ed] I'll make a
bargain with you.

I'll make a bargain.

- [Voiceover] Ed, you're
bothering me at the moment.

- [Ed] I'll go to
the bank with you.

- [Voiceover] Will you
respect that for the moment?

- [Ed] I'll go to
the bank with you.

But you have to carry it, I
don't wanna touch that thing.

- [Voiceover] All
right, that's a deal.

- [Ed] Okay?

- [Voiceover] Yes.

Take a nap, partner, okay?

- [Voiceover] After world
war 2, the G.I. bill

made it possible for me to go to

the Manhattan school of music.

I was a good cellist already

and been playing the cello
since junior high school.

My wife in many ways was
a disappointment to me,

because she ran off just
before I was supposed

to get a degree in musicology.

And to me, I still
don't understand that.

And even my son, the birth of
my son was a disappointment.

Because what it did was that
it upset the business of

studying for the
master's degree.

I haven't seen him now
for about 20 years.

And then I start to get
kind of conscience stricken

so I phoned him.

First time that I
communicated in any way,

tried to communicate with him

for a long time.

So I offered to take
him to Death Valley,

to take him on a
vacation with me.

And turned out to
be a kind of a...

That was also a kind
of a turn down because

he couldn't do
anything about it.

He thanked me kind of formally.

And said that his mother,
my former wife, had cancer.

Skip, I want you
to be the producer.

Okay?

And Dick.

- [Voiceover] Yes sir.

- I like you for the
assistant director, all right?

- [Voiceover] All right.

- [Ed] Good.

- [Voiceover] And I'm
your (beep), right?

- [Ed] Excuse me?

- [Voiceover] I'm
your (beep), right?

- Oh yeah.

Well, listen.

Why don't we wait
until we're finished.

When we finish the
auditions, you know.

And then what we're gonna
do is choose the one

that's best for the part, see.

I think you have a
very good chance.

- A chance?

- A good chance.

- A chance?

That part is mine, I
better get that part.

- What do you mean?

- I committed a crime for you.

I forged your sister's name
so you could get the money

and I could go to jail for that.

To jail, do you understand?

This film is just as
much mine as it is yours.

Maybe more

- Look...

- I don't think
you get that part.

I'm gonna get it or you're
gonna be in a lot of trouble.

- Okay, now wait a minute.

I don't think you
understand the situation.

What we're doing may not be
a literal remake of (beep)

or of the film.

So as we go along,

we haven't planned that.

- I don't care.

I just wanna know if I have
that part after what I've done.

Am I your (beep)?

- Absolutely.

Absolutely.

- [Voiceover] Maybe this is
getting into something personal

again, but is your son,
Willie Walkard, going to have

anything to do with
this production?

- No, I haven't seen...

- [Voiceover] What you
don't understand is that

his son, Willie Walkard,
hasn't anything to do with him

in many years.

He's neglected him and he
has not been responsible

to Ed as a father.

I shouldn't...

This is off the record but...

- Come on now, come on now.

- I really think you
ought to leave that aside.

- She can understand that.

It doesn't have to be explained.

- I don't want you to
get upset and excited.

- Dick, Dick.

I'm not upset and excited.

- Those kinds of questions.

Just stick to questions
about the production.

- She's a grown up.

- If you wanna get into
politics, be in politics.

But leave his son alone, please.

- [Voiceover] Let's ask about
some of the characterization

in the film.

I've looked at the
script a little bit.

All the characters
seem extremely complex.

Would you like to talk about
some of the characterization

in the film?

- Well, to me the
whole thing is absurd.

Because the greatest song,
one of the great songs

in all of American
musical literature,

you know what it is?

- What's that?

- Old man (beep).

- What does that
song mean to you?

- And even now, when
I try to think...

What is the name?

What's the name of
the guy who sings

Old man (beep) from the thing?

One of the great songs
of American music

is sung by a stevedore.

A black stevedore.

- Do you see this film,
then, as having some sort of

social intentions?

Some kind of political
consciousness?

- It was a breakthrough
in its time, yeah.

At least it didn't
have the can can girls

going up and down like that.

At least you have
some kind of realism.

In a sense, as my ambition,

I'd like to, and I
haven't quite settled it,

I'd like to bring the stench
of death to the musical comedy.

- Hi, I'm an
unemployed housewife.

Well, not really.

You seen, my old man, he
kind of walked out on me.

Well, I really thought
we had something going.

I really did.

I used to drink a
little but wasn't...

Wasn't anything really big.

I never had a hangover.

I just stayed drunk.

I guess the only time
I looked good to him

was on Halloween.

- Thank you very much.

(applause)

Would you like to try it?

- Right here?

- Yeah, could do it?

This is (beep) from (beep).

- My name is Bermuda Schwartz.

- My name is Ladi Da.

And you're not gonna
believe this, but...

* You make the people
of hell smell so swell

* So who am I to say too strong

* But Sam, you make
the pants too long *

- Mick Jagger would
love to be that savior.

But it ain't him, no.

The rock and roll star in
his highest state of grace

would be the new savior.

Rocking to Bethlehem to be born.

You know what I mean?

(laughter and applause)

* Sure as the star
wherever we are it's...

* Wherever...

- That's too high.

Can you make it lower?

* When tears are in

* Your eyes

* I will dry them all

* I'm on your side

* Oh, when times get rough

* It's only...

- Oh, that's not it.

- [Voiceover] Try this on.

- Try again.

* It's only a trailer
in paradise park

* I'll live there in
sunshine and also the dark

* And I'll sing me a tune

* At midnight or noon

* And the landlord can't tell me

* Just when I can broom

* I'll practice the
trumpet and fiddle a bit

* I'll play the piano
and write me a nit

* My neighbors won't
care if I sing like lark

* In a trailer in
paradise park *

- So they wouldn't let
me sing at the office.

Me.

And I had worked my ass
off for that corporation.

- [Voiceover] Thank you.

- You're welcome.

(applause)

- Love.

L is for love is love.

O is for oh, what love.

V is for victory, walk
away with victory.

E is for earth,
the mother of love.

Love.

Love.

Love.

The next one is
titled "Love is."

Love

is the beauty of intelligence.

Love

is the basic truth.

Love

is respect.

Love

is freedom.

Love

is the ultimate power
of the universe.

Love

is the shape of mother
earth's heart pump.

Pop.

Pop.

Bop.

Love is.

Love is.

- Right now,

my heart is beating
very strongly.

Because I enjoy
being up before you

and loving you and I hope
that you love me too.

What I'd like to do is
just kind of improvise

in regards to some of
what I've seen tonight.

And a lot of what
we're experiencing

and a lot of people are
experiencing around us.

When we come into the world,

everything is very quiet.

When we are in
our mother's womb,

everything is very quiet.

What I'd like to
do right now is...

Simply present to you
a little act of love.

I notice a scene
here on the wall.

As a little baby just
starting after an act of love.

About a period of 9
months from back here

and we start getting
thrust forward to go

through the road of life.

And as we look a little closer,

we see the trees and
they're outstretched

and they're a little scary

and maybe that's
a little warning.

But anyway we don't have much
to say about it because...

About 9 months, we're
about ready to be

ejected from our mother's womb.

Everything's quiet.

But all of a sudden some bastard

hits us on the ass

to hear us cry.

Then we go to school

and people yell at us.

And our mothers and
our fathers yell at us.

And our brothers and
our sisters yell at us.

And worst of all, we
start yelling at them.

And it doesn't end
just in the home.

As soon as we go
out into the street,

we get to hear more of that
fantastic, beautiful noise.

Street cars, airplanes,
everything that you can

imagine that drive you crazy.

Sometimes you wish,

you wish, even though
you're an artist,

and you love the people,

that you didn't have
to get on the stage

and do a damn thing.

But just stand there and say,

I'm me and I love you.

And I wish the
world would freeze.

I wish everything would stop

and there was no noise.

- [Voiceover] Thank you.

(applause)

* She gave him the
money to pay her band

* But he left her flat
in the county jail *

- Here I come, you ready?

Are you ready?

* Ho di ho di ho

* Da di doo da de

- [Voiceover] Thank you.

- [Voiceover] You didn't...

All right, it wasn't
even finished, mister.

- [Voiceover] That
ain't in our show.

- [Voiceover] Thank you.

(applause)

- All right, how you doing?

I just got off from work.

I work, I drive a
bus in the city here.

I'm from the city.

Right now, I'm just
gonna go into transaction

is what I call it.

I'm the only human in the
world at this particular time

that can go into transaction.

Everyone is capable of
going into transaction.

That means sort of
another dilemma.

Another world.

So it'll take me about 30
seconds to go in a transaction,

then I'll sing
whatever comes out.

(applause)

* Ohhh

* Hello, everybody

* My name is Nate

* I drive a bus in the city

* Ohhh

* I study Cruso

* And I studied El Dino too

* La la

* Each night we have a quarrel

* It almost breaks my heart

* Each night I ask
the stars up above

* Why must I be a
teenager in love

* In love

* Must I be a teenager, in love

* In love

- I know the answer
to our dilemma.

No more dilemmas.

I have found the puzzle.

I have solved it.

We're all in a dilemma because
we don't know who we are.

But I have found the answer.

We're all the same.

We are just unique,
read B.F. Skinner.

Read anyone you may.

You will find the answer too.

* For we all are the same

* There's no
difference, not really *

- Dance with Francis and Anna.

- We've only been
doing this dance,

it's true, for five years.

- [Voiceover] I'd
like to know about...

What is your dream
about dancing?

- We've had a dream to
be with Lawrence Wob,

is what we wanted to do.

To get in his program, to
show all of the people,

all the people in the world,

what can be done
when you love music

and give it everything.

That people can do like we do.

We've given all we have.

(applause)

- Sister Rose.

* We ain't got a barrel of money

* Maybe we're ragged and funny

* I'll just travel along

* Singing a song

* Side by side

* We all got our
trouble and heartache

* We'll be the
same as we started

* But we'll travel along

* Singing a song

* Side by side

(laughter)

- Benny, come here.

(laughter)

(dog barking)

Benny, come here.

(applause)

(choral music)

Here, Benny.

Benny.

Here, Benny.

(applause)

- Hi, Ed, how you doing?

Didn't think you were coming.

Your sister said
you went camping.

I saw you on the
noon news, though.

You're getting to be
quiet a celebrity.

Well, there it is.

Little beauty.

Yeah, the...

Have you seen the news yet?

They showed some of
the acts that you

shot last night.

- (mumbles) on TV?

- Yeah, it was on two channels.

At noon.

Some of the acts...

I knew you were gonna do a film,

but I didn't have any
idea that you could use

acts like that in
a remake of (beep).

Unless it's some other (beep).

You cancelled last
week to go camping.

You must do a lot of camping.

Okay.

Well, we'll have you taken
care of here in just a minute.

I've always been interested
in show business.

Of course, you know that.

Every time you come in,

I do my little Weber
and Fields square.

This must be the place.

Hey, that's pretty good.

Maybe we can make
up an act ourselves.

Okie dokie.

Your sister said that
your son's back in town.

There you go.

Okay, let's keep it there.

Hang in there, hang in there.

Just a little while longer.

You're all right?

Now close down.

- There's a man named
Willie Walkard who's

in the waiting room and
wants to see Mr. Nylund.

- Hold it, hold it, hold it.

We're cementing this in now.

Hold it.

Mr. Walkard?

- [Voiceover] Yes.

- All right, you
keep that still there

until I come back.

Excuse me.

- Tomorrow's really
gonna be hard.

I'm tired.

Your wrecked boy.

I'm very tired.

- We gotta get all of this...

- [Voiceover] How you doing?

- [Voiceover] Okay.

- [Voiceover] How you been?

- [Voiceover] Good.

My seat.

What's the matter,

isn't this one good
enough for you anymore?

- What the hell is
wrong with you tonight?

My pleasure.

- You know that Willie Walkard.

I always try to...

I have to keep not
calling him Billy.

Willie Walkard, my
own flesh and blood.

You should've heard what he...

The ideas that he gave
me for making the...

- Hey, Ed, we did a lot
of nice things tonight.

Ed, Ed.

Will you just, one second.

We did a lot of
nice things tonight.

I wanna tell you,
we filmed them.

And some of them
were just great.

- The thing was that...

He wants me to think of as
purely documentary terms.

Now, one of the things that
was really nice about it.

I told you about this touch
of death, smell of death

that I was doing.

That was just a...

A kind of a strong
idea to hang onto.

I was gonna shape it

and Willie straightened me out.

He really did it.

- [Voiceover] That's real
nice, I had that idea

a week ago.

- The documentary, the
documentary I get...

- [Voiceover] I guess
our timing was off, huh?

- The documentary,
don't interrupt.

- [Voiceover] Really,
today is a good idea.

Last week it's not good.

- [Ed] He told
about Tippy Stewart,

supposed to be one of
the best documentary men.

He's down in Louisiana now,
and he's gonna bring him up.

- Tippy Stewart,
I know personally.

I told you about
him three months ago

when we first
discussed the idea.

- No, I don't remember that.

That's not...

- [Voiceover] Convenience
to loss of memory, I think.

Listen, Ed.

- [Ed] Willie's idea.

- [Voiceover] A few
hours ago, so...

Finish your argument?

I'll talk to you, huh?

- Yeah, okay.

I won't talk about
that deal we have.

- Up until a few weeks ago,

or up until a few hours ago
Willie Walkard was nothing

but a Hollywood politic man.

He comes by here...

- He's helping me.

- [Voiceover] Why
repeat the point,

you telling me about
Willie Walkard.

- [Ed] I don't want
to, just let it go.

If you can't relax
now, just stop.

- I'm relaxed, I'm relaxed.

You're screaming
and I'm relaxed.

- [Ed] I'm excited because I
got some good ideas from him.

- That's great, that's great.

- They were swell.

- [Voiceover] Okay, look.

Maybe tomorrow night we'll
discuss this a little more.

I mean...

I think maybe you should
relax a little bit.

Or maybe I think maybe
there's not enough room

on this set for the three of us.

- [Ed] You're probably right.

- David Louis, channel 7 news.

Tonight's the last night
if you really wanna get in

on that new movie
version of (beep).

They are at 7 o'clock
in the California hall.

That's turk and polk
streets in the tenderloin.

And I bet you'll have
to race Jim Dunbar there

because he's always wanted
to take the stage, right?

- [Voiceover] I always have.

* No more

(applause)

- Not bad.

- Do you find it's
hard to get back

into your own personality?

- I play myself every
minute of the day

and if they think
I'm somebody else,

that's their business.

- It all started when I had
this fear of whipped cream,

and I said, to overcome
it, I should just squirt it

all over my body, you know?

And my next goal is to overcome
my fear of potato chips.

(cheering)

(applause)

- I first started out
singing and dancing.

Then I teamed up
with a girl partner

who was really fat
and a great comedian.

So we toured around the country.

She married up,

the leader of the band.

So I had to get a
new nightclub act.

And I wanted to do
something different.

So I went into this.

- What kind of relationship
do you have with the snake?

- Well, I consider
him my friend.

He's a pet to me.

He's not just
something to dance with

but he makes a
very wonderful pet.

- Do you think he has
a distinct personality?

- Oh yes.

I know what he's going to do

and which way he's
going to move.

And whether he's
happy or unhappy.

* Do your ear hang low,

* Do they wobble to and fro

* Can you pull them in a knot

* Can you tie them in a bow

* Can you sling one
over your shoulder

* Like a continental soldier

* Do your ear hang low

(applause)

- Well, I'm a canyard
from near San Francisco

and part of my platform
is, if erected,

I intend to walk around
this city completely nude

to prove that there's
nothing obscene,

pornographic or
indecent about my body

or anyone else's body.

A nude body is a work of
art created to admire,

adore, and appreciate.

And it's time that people
stopped hiding behind clothes.

- [Voiceover] Do you think
that there's any contraction

in that your clothes
are so colorful and so

pleasing to look at?

- Yes, but they're all
part of experiments.

I'm doing experiments
concerning nuclear energy,

telepathy and some
very advanced things

through the use of drugs.

I advocate the use
of drugs by everyone.

I'm becoming super intelligent

and advancing into evolution
at a more rapid rate

than the rest of the population.

I'm attempting to set
up a psychic institute

for other people advancing
at a more rapid rate.

- Would you direct
your super intelligence

to the group of people
in this room and tell us

what you think of them?

What do you think of the
people who are gathered

here tonight?

- I haven't seen the
entire group perform.

And I won't be able to
stick around very long

because I'm going to
group of loved citizens.

So I'd rather not make any...

- Your daughter plate dinner?

- No, I don't...

I'm a very rich man
but I have no money.

- Have you gotten those
questions more resolved

in your mind now?

- Yes.

One of the questions
I wanted to ask was if

a musical comedy is an
inherently bourgeoisie form.

- Have you made any
decisions on that?

- Yes, it is.

- And it is an inherently
bourgeoisie form.

- Yes.

- And so what can
we do about that?

- I think there should
be a little more

self reflectiveness in the acts.

I would like to see the
people have a little more

knowledge about what
it is they're doing.

And for the people on
the production crew

to have slightly more

I don't wanna say humanistic,

but slightly more
conscious attitude about

their relationship to the
people in the auditorium.

- Thank you very
much, Constance,

I think we have to cut away now.

(making wind noises)

(laughter)

(applause)

- We'll wait just a second
til the applause calms down.

We're having quite
an evening here

at the auditions.

JC, would you just
bring me up to date

on your career real briefly?

What have you been
doing the last 10 years

since I saw you?

- Last 10 years, I had a stroke
in 66 on November the 26th.

- Right after I saw you.

- I stayed in Laguna Honda
hospital for five years.

I came out, I went to therapy
for the rest of three years

and I started back
with playing in 74.

And now here I am
trying the best I can.

(clapping)

* I'll drink my way

* Into LA

* Evening sun was going down

* I'll beat my
way into LAC there

* Keeps on going down

* I try to get me a new job

* They try to throw me down

* I called it queer

* Out in LA

* It was 16 cold

* days long called it

* Fly to LAC there

* 16 cold days long

* I did not know
where we're going

* Go daisy hang right on

* Now here I am

* In San Francisco

* And I'm doing best I can

* And here I am right now

* Doing the best I can

* But I got so rich to tell

* About that blue highway mess

* Lost where my
mother father pew

* Go about what they did

* Blue sky will be making

* Moonlight Bobby's back

* But I'm not ashamed,
ain't that new

* I'm the man

* Gonna be blue

* I'm gonna head on

* I'm having to

* Get by on with
living with blue *

(applause)

* Come on to my place

* Watching every
move on her face

* As a child

* I don't think love will last

* She said love

* Love bug

* Now you're trying
to trick me, love

* All right now

* Baby you should, all right now

* Just ease you

* All right now

* Honey you should,
all right now

* All right

* All right

- Willie.

Where are the cigarettes?

- Oh, they're here.

- Can I have one please?

- Sure.

Would you like a
menthol or a menthol?

- It doesn't matter, does it?

You think Magnolia
smokes in bed?

- Awful as a French
movie, maybe.

Something a little European.

- Maybe Magnolia
wouldn't be in bed.

Okay?

- I don't know.

I don't know about
this Magnolia stuff.

I just came up here.

- What do you mean?

Have at it.

- You're taking this whole
thing pretty serious,

this movie business, aren't you?

- Sure.

I mean this is a
pretty big part.

Magnolia's a very
fascinating character.

- God.

Let me tell you something.

This isn't even a real movie.

I mean, it couldn't
possibly be a real movie.

- This movie?

- That's right.

- What do you mean
it's not a real movie?

- My father is a...

Cannot make a movie
on the budget he has.

There is...

This is the movie,
what you see here.

The auditions are the movies.

There is no Magnolia.

No Magnolia.

- You mean you're
trying to tell me that

your father is just having all
those people come down there

just for nothing?

- It's his last dream.

It's the last gasp, you know?

It's like the most expensive
home movie ever made.

Everybody involved
in it in this city

at this audition is like
a big family to him.

It can't, it's not
professional at all.

But it's nothing there.

It's not gonna be
shown in any theaters.

How could it be?

- My name is Billy Barksdale.

- [Voiceover] Hi Billy.

- Hi.

* I love the name Billy

* My dad's was the same Billy

* I love the way
they laugh and say

* How silly to call
that girl Billy

* Baffles them all, Billy

* For after all, Billy

* They think it's so queer

* That a girl should appear

* Their illusions,
I fear, I destroy

* Here is the reason
my name's Billy

* My parents expected a boy

(applause)

(piano music)

(applause)

- No cause for alarm out there

because I'm on your side.

Yes, that's right.

And I'm a space age comedian.

I do metaphors of the future.

This first one is my
impression of the typical

martian freeway at rush hour.

(laughter)

(applause)

- Thank you, thank you.

- [Voiceover] What other
kinds of talents does he have?

- He really doesn't have
any talent, actually.

He just think she does.

- My sister thought I was nuts.

But I was not nuts.

That's it.

(applause)

- [Voiceover] Okay, why
did you pull her off?

Why did you pull her off?

- I wasn't even watching
what she was doing.

(applause)

(upbeat music)

- Everyone has a right to life.

Victims, not so much
as other people.

But victims have a
right to life too.

Victims have a
right to life too.

- What do you
constitutes a victim?

- Excuse me, we have another...

- [Voiceover] Check sound.

- Just one.

Well, Mary, about victims.

There are a lot of victims.

I think we're all
victims basically.

I'm certainly a victim.

You seem like a victim.

- Well, I don't consider that...

That's a pleasure.

* I'm gonna dance
dance dance, gonna fly

* I'll take a chance
chance chance, riding high

* Before my number's
up, I've got to fill

* I'm gonna live
live live live live

* Until I die

(applause)

- Stage is the closest
paradigm to death

that we have yet found.

- I see.

So everyone in this room is
essentially a death freak.

- Yes, right.

Waiting their turn to die.

- Waiting...

- By the numbers.

(applause)

(cheering)

(piano music)

* Blackbirds singing
in the dead of night

* Take these broken
wings and learn to fly

* All your life

* Oh, you've been waiting
for the moment to arise

* Oh yeah

* Blackbirds singing
in the dead of night

* Why don't take these
sunken eyes and learn to see

* All your life

* I am waiting for
the moment to be free

* Oh yeah

* Blackbird, blackbird fly

* Blackbird, blackbird

* Why don't you
clap on blackbird

* Why don't you
clap on blackbird

* Why don't you
clap on blackbird

* Why don't you
clap on blackbird

* Why don't you
clap on blackbird

* Blackbird singing
in the dead of night

* Take these broken
wings and learn to fly

* All your life

* You've been waiting
for the moment to arise

* Blackbird singing
in the dead of night

* Take these sunken
eyes and learn to see

* All your life

* You've been waiting
for the moment to be free

* Oh blackbird fly

* Oh blackbird fly

* Oh you've been waiting
for the moment to arise *

(applause)

- Well well.

- Such a great act.

- It's a great, but she
doesn't fit into (beep).

Look at the songs, look at this.

What is she gonna sing?

There's no song in there

for a woman playing
a piano to sing.

There's nothing there for her.

- So you've absconded from
your creative potential.

- You keep accusing me.

- Yeah?

Well maybe that's
because I feel like,

if I would like to sing for you.

- Why don't you go sing?

- But I'm not going to.

- Why not?

- Because you don't want me

and I know that already.

- How do you know that?

- I know that because
your eyes are closed.

And because your head is closed

and your heart is closed.

And everybody connected
with this piece.

It's been closed.

They've been closed
from the beginning.

It's been complete take trip.

Take take take,

take from all these people.

And you don't even
know what you've taken.

You haven't even gained
anything, and you've taken.

- Well okay.

- Soul's gold, man.

- I'll tell you the truth then.

I'll tell you the truth.

- Okay, I'd really
like to hear the truth.

- I felt very much
like a traitor

to my own profession.

- Well, I hope so.

- From the beginning
of this whole thing.

Because, here I
am, I'm an actor.

Who's been hired to perform
the role of a producer.

I sit at this table,

a table that I'd been on the
other side of a 100 times.

I'll admit it,

it was maybe an ego
trip on my part.

In the beginning, I thought,

yeah, revenge.

I can get on the other
side of that people

and I can tell those people

Fuck off.

Fuck off my stage.

Just like a lot
directors have told me.

- [Voiceover] Listen,
this is a movie, right?

This is a movie that
they're making, I'm in it.

They told me they were
gonna pay me, right.

Everything I did on
the stage was set up.

This guy.

This guy riding the
camera right here?

He's the director, not
this man down here.

You think he's the director.

He is no more a producer

than I'm a horse.

Listen, I want you to know

that I'm pissed off.

- Wait a minute.

- [Voiceover] I had
to tell everybody,

I'm fucking tired of
listening to all these people

getting fucked up.

I want you to know.

You, you're the one.

I want you to direct.

You gonna direct me?

You wrote me a part in a script.

I sat here for nine hours,
I didn't do anything.

I'm sick and fucking
tired of this.

And I want you to know,

this man right here.

See, he takes a picture of me.

Because he's gonna
use it in a movie

and he's gonna make
money off of me.

Off of you.

- [Voiceover] You came here
to audition for (beep).

That's exactly
what you're doing.

If your act is good, we
need it, we'll use it.

And if there's money
made, you'll make it too.

Not just us.

- [Voiceover] Is he lying?

Who's telling the truth here?

- [Voiceover] A thing or
two is telling the truth.

Who tells the truth
about anything?

- But you just told me
that this is the show

and this is the boat.

Is this the show and
is this the boat?

- This is the show
and this is the boat.

- And what the fuck is the boat?

- [Voiceover] Responsible
enough for themselves

that you have to have
this fucking guy up here.

- Who are these guys?

They all look like drug addicts.

- This guy...

He's the assistant
director right here.

I don't know who this
dude is over here.

I don't know what he's doing.

- Are you telling me the truth?

Who really is the director?

Who really is the producer?

Who's paying for this?

- All I'm asking you,

has there been
something else like this

in San Francisco where
you could come in

off the streets and show
whether you have a talent.

Whether you have some kind
of glory in your soul.

Tell me.

You want, should we end it then?

- [Voiceover] How
many of you don't care

what happens to your hair?

How many of you don't care
what's done with your images

that are taken here?

- I read fancy.

- Do any of you care what
happens to you anymore?

- [Voiceover] Are there
any of you who are

not responsible enough for
themselves that you have to

have this fucking guy up
here asking you if you

can take care or
yourselves or not?

- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna call the
auditions and stop them.

No more.

- Fucking Z.

- It's not her fault.

We didn't tell her about
the telephone call.

- Well, I wonder how
Ed's taking all this.

- You're the movie
people, aren't you?

What kind of movie
are you making?

- It's a musical comedy.

- The stench of death.

- Oh that's funny.

I just saw a movie
the other night,

The Duchess of Malfi.

It was an Elizabethan tragedy.

14 players were
killed in the end.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah, the final scene.

The head spy Borsola walks in,

and he walks up to
the duke Ferdinand.

And he says, "Hi, Duke."

And he gets it right
in the duke goes...

The duke can't breathe but
the duke was prepared for him.

He says, "How you doing Borsey?"

Zips it up and Borsola's
walking around...

In walks the cardinal

(mumbles) You know, then wham.

Then the cardinal
begins to reel.

The cardinal exhales, you know.

That's the cardinal

as Borsola is jabbing
it into his groin.

The cardinal says,
"You son of a bitch."

- Who's that?

- I just came to get my things.

- [Voiceover] I'll do it.

- [Voiceover] I don't have time.

- [Voiceover] There's
something we haven't told you.

Ed's dying of cancer.

- [Voiceover] That's
the Borsola, you know,

bounces off the...

And he says, the
cardinal walks over him

says, "That asshole.
I've got him that time."

And then the duchess
comes in and of course..

She's being strangled,

they had one person on one
side, one on the other.

Do you understand how
the thing develops,

it's like Borsola,

then the cardinal,

the Giovana, Giovana..

And she's swinging
back and forth

because one guy's holding
the string on this end,

and the other guy's
holding it on this end.

You know?

You don't know.

- [Voiceover] Hey,
hey listen to this!

Listen, listen.

You've gotta hear this.

I got a call from a guy...

- Sit down, Ed.

- Thank you.

Listen.

I got a call, a guy wants
to give me a quarter

of a million dollars, and
we're gonna go to New York,

Atlanta, Memphis, everything.

The whole thing is
broken open now.

We've busted through the
sound barrier, right?

And we can do
anything we want, see?

Everything's there.

I just got a call.

- We heard you, Ed.

The first time.

We also called the library, Ed.

We spoke to Miss Burts.

- Why didn't you tell
us you were sick, Ed?

I think ought to
talk about that.

- Why you asking me?

- You're dying, Ed.

You must have some
feelings about it.

- Dying?

Look at you,

shooting all that
heroin into your system

and into your veins.

- This is cocaine
and it's proven

there's nothing wrong with it.

- But we had an understanding.

You're ruining your body,

you're just dragging
yourself down.

- Ed, don't worry about me.

- What are you doing?

- Don't worry about me, man.

- What are you
doing to yourself?

- I couldn't take it.

I couldn't take it, Ed.

- Couldn't take what?

- Don't worry about me.

I mean what do you want from me?

- I want you to finish (beep).

- What?

- I don't know
whether I can finish.

- You're crazy.

- It's my legacy to you.

- You're crazy.

This is your film, Ed.

Your film.

You die, it dies.

- No.

- Period.

- [Voiceover] Perhaps I
should explain something,

ostensibly, I, Ed Nylund was
the director of Showboat 1988.

Of course, that
wasn't really true.

The real director of
it and organizer of it

was fellow named Rick Schmidt.

And he actually
did the camera work

and did all the production and
all of the directorial work.

All the planning.

And it always seems
as if, in my life,

when I do important things
or interesting things,

I only do it because
I'm reluctant.

Then someone kind of
pushes and shoves or pulls

or yanked me over
there to do it.

So the upshot of it is,

that I still work
at the library,

I haven't seen my son
and my relationship

with my former wife has
just stayed the same

as it was, no communication.

So I think that the, probably,

the best ending would be to show

somehow that life goes on.

And someone else
will be coming along.

And will be taking these risks

and making the rainbow.

Doing the dangerous thing.

And so it would be nice
if it just continued

to show that there's a flow.

And that it's always happening.

And always must happen.

To human beings who
are really alive.