18 Times (1988) - full transcript

The bridegroom has come.

Why isn't Scatterbrain the bridegroom?

I gave him two potatoes and he's gone.

It's me, Ron to marry the bride.

The bride has to hide her face.

—You don't belong to our group.
—I quit.

Me too.

Let's quit.

Do you still want to play?

Yes.

Great, I am getting married.



Five dollars.

I'm rich.

—Watch out.
—Watch out.

Gigi, it's for you.

—Ron!
—Ron!

Ron...

He has been dead for a month now.

Take it easy. Don't cry, Mrs Tsui.

She's not Mrs Tsui.

I am sorry, Mrs Wong.

She's not Mrs Wong.

I am sorry, Mrs Lam.

Her ex-husband was Mr Chan.

I am sorry, Mrs Chan.



Here is a check for 21.7 million dollars.

It's from Mr Chan.

Please sign it.

He doesn't have that much money.

You must have made a mistake.

The airline paid 430,000 U.S. dollars
for compensation.

It is around 3.4 million Hong Kong dollars.

Mr Chan has bet on a lottery in Canada...

and won 17 million Hong Kong dollars.

It is all yours now.

Why am I so unfortunate?

I feel the same too.

I have bought lottery tickets many times...

but I can never win.

I have flown so many times...

but no accidents at all.

I'm... sorry.

Stop crying... or you'll fall sick.

Have a tablet, okay?

Get Mrs Chan a glass of water.

Mrs Chan.

Lam, get me a glass of water.

—Stop.
—What's the matter, Mrs Chan?

Chi, give Lam some tips.

—How much?
—I don't care.

—One pound.
—One pound? You don't have to.

It's too much for a glass of water.

Here's one pound.

Take it... it's from Mrs Chan.

Yes, take it.

Thanks, Mrs Chan.

I want another glass of water.

—I'll get it for you...
—Thanks.

Where is the lawyer?

Thanks.

Sir, the water was originally for you.

You stupid idiot...

You stupid idiot!

—I didn't do anything wrong.
—You are so stupid.

About the workers' pension,
we hope boss will approve the plan.

What?

Manager Wong hopes to get your approval.

Approval? It's approved.

That's all for today's meeting.

Gigi, do something meaningful.

There are important things
besides love-affairs.

I don't agree.

—You look pale lately.
—What?

I didn't know that.

—Why am I pale?
—Because you have no affairs.

Shut up! Mind your own business.

I will never marry you,
even if I can't find any man.

In your dreams.

See? Your face gets red when you're angry.

Protest...

—We have the rights!
—Yes, we do!

—The right to get married!
—Yes, we do!

The right to have children!

Protest...

Madam, the protestors are blocking the way.

What are they protesting about?

The boat brides.

—Protest...
—Let's line up and be good.

Or we'll be accused of unlawful assembly.

It's dangerous.

Let's tell the officers about our feelings.

Protest...

Kids, go.

We have the right to protest.

We are not guilty to stay.

This isn't Shenzhen, sing "Mama Is Good."

Mama is the best thing on earth.

Happiness is to stay in the arms of mom.

When we're in mom's arms.

It's the happiness
we can't find elsewhere.

Ladies, your turn.

Girls love boys.

And they love each other.

They marry one another.

And form their own family.

Good, Kam, your turn.

Where are you, my honey?

My dear, where are you?

Ladies and gentlemen...

government officials...

There is warmth in life...

the world is always hopeful.

But to those less fortunate...

they have no hopes at all,
for the government separates them.

The husband without a wife,
wife without children and husband.

Children without mothers.
The family is broken into pieces.

—We protest!
—Is there something in your eye?

His speech is so touching.

Poor are the parents and kids.

I represent the poor.
Asking the government to help.

We protest!

We protest!

—We protest!
—It's none of your business.

Of course it's my concern.

We protest!

His name is David.

I heard he was troublesome
even before he was born.

When his mother was pregnant with him...

he protested in the birth canal,
demanding the right to be born.

He was only in middle school when
he first put up a protest banner.

He asked for pants
for female teachers in winter.

He was righteous.

Righteous? He's surely a trouble maker.

—And then?
—More trouble.

He wouldn't accept
his certificate when he graduated...

because there were
three male toilets in school...

but only one female toilet.

Starting from age twenty-one,
on 8th March every year...

he parades by himself.

That is so shameful.

He wants to legalise that all wives can...

ask for pay and holidays from the husband.

He has been arrested thirty-eight times.

What kind of man do you think he is?

He's a good person. He doesn't
kowtow to powerful people.

He doesn't discriminate against women.
He is a hero.

Gigi, I'm so frustrated with you.

Good morning, Madam.

Remember to bring the stuff
I have packed for you.

Dear neighbours, we should demand
paid holidays for the pregnant.

All of you are our hope for the future.

To carry a baby is a saint's job.

Nothing is more significant than breeding.

—Is there?
—No!

You shouldn't have to work
when carrying a baby.

—Right.
—To work in factory.

—Or to teach in school.
—Right!

And they still have
to do all the house work.

Great...

Look! She's not pregnant!

Shut up.

Do you want to get sympathy?

Don't be a big mouth.

Think about it, they bring us hope.
But we ruin their hope.

They bring us our future.
But we ruin their future.

It's not reasonable, right?

Not reasonable...

Are they so noble?

Yes. I insist they should
have paid holidays.

Not only three weeks before
and four weeks after birth.

From when the sperm and egg meet,
to when the baby stops having milk.

Then they don't have to work forever!

Curse you, you idiot.

It's common for women
to give birth to babies.

Mind your words, fool!

You hit me?

We want to break the nasty rules.

Get him...

I am sorry, I am sorry...

Hit him...

—Stop... don't fight. Calm down.
—Get him.

Get into the car.

I always ride in this type of car.
Do you feel uncomfortable?

No, it's quite comfortable. I finally
have the chance to sit inside one.

Riding in this car once is enough.

You get arrested all the time?

—Are you scared?
—No.

I want to promote the protection
of women no matter where they are.

I want them to eat well
even in the poor countries...

so that they can feed their kids.

I want Arabian women to live
without masks...

so that they can enjoy
the Californian sun...

and the hookers in Manila
to become good mothers.

That'd be so wonderful.

At that moment...

I felt so warm all over my body.

That guy who was sitting in front of me...

was so passionate.

So you married him?

Right.

After I married him...

his career got better
just like my previous husbands...

and he became rich.

The fortune teller said
my life is like running water.

Whichever man I am with...

would do well at the beginning...

but before long,
the situation would deteriorate...

and become worse.

Mr So, please give us a speech.

Ladies, those who are older than me,
I treat them as my mother.

Whoever is my own age,
I treat them as my sisters.

And whoever is younger than me,
I take them as my daughters.

There is one who is different.
I don't know nor care about her age.

She is my lovely wife.

Getting this award today
is a great encouragement for me.

Happiness comes from women
and all men should work hard on it.

Thanks. Take a seat.

Thanks. Mr So.

I want to take this chance
to ask all of you...

to start the "All Women in Hong Kong
Donate Ten Dollars" campaign.

Let's work together to start a fund
for Mr So to use on his campaign.

I'll donate $100.

—I'll donate $300.
—I'll give $500.

—I'll give $200.
—Thanks, I'll give $500.

—I'll give $500.
—I'll donate $300.

What? I need a limited company
to set up the account for the fund?

Mr So, it's the rule.

It's limited protection
and limited charity.

Wang Tai Sin is a limited company too.

It's more than five million dollars.
What if I get robbed?

Mr So, open a savings account first...

and you transfer it later.

So I am forced to be a millionaire?

No, David. Mr Tong, is there another way?

No, that's the way it works.

Taxi...

Taxi...

Taxi...

What's the matter?

Let's hurry home. Why is there no taxi?

Let's take the mini-bus.

Your husband is released today?

Yes, don't ever come again
or he will chop us up.

It's here. I want to get off.

Remember, don't call me.

—Stop there, you tramp!
—Start going!

Get out!

—My husband is following us.
—Let's get out.

He'll catch us if we get out, lie down.

—He is behind us.
—Keep on driving.

What are you talking about?
I have customers.

Quick, this lady's about to deliver.

Pal, please respect people.
Especially women.

I can't satisfy everyone.
Why do I always get the blame?

—We have a saviour.
—Nonsense.

Mr So, my life is miserable.

What can I do for you?

—I am being threatened.
—Threatened?

Yes, I am being forced to be a prostitute.

How can they do that in this era?

Driver, I want to get off.

—Who forced you?
—My husband.

Your husband is a pimp? This is ridiculous!

What a crappy husband!
That's unbelievable...

He's not a man...

How dare you fool around with my wife?

Darn you!

Don't worry, I'll protect you.

—David, calm down.
—I want to kill him!

I'll chase you until the end of the world.

Sorry, the bus has broken down.
Get on another bus.

—He is coming close.
—Stop. You can't run away from me!

Miss, I'll protect you.

Miss... Don't move.

David, it's dangerous.

Stand there, don't move.

You fool with my wife
and talk to me like that?

—David, you are not a god.
—Are you nuts?

This is my wife.

You did it together with your wife?
I'll stab you to death.

—Stop. I'll kill you!
—Help!

Fool with my wife?

—Help!
—Our saviour is in danger. Let's go!

—I'll kill you!
—Help, sisters.

Don't worry, we'll help you.

Go...

—David!
—Be careful!

David!

David!

Regional Council

Returning ten dollars
to every woman who donated.

Take it, take it back.

Take it.

Gigi, cheer up.
You haven't smiled for a long time.

You know how to smile, right?

I don't know.

Let's go to a stand-up comedy.

Your face is funny enough.

What's so funny? Tell me.

My name is Joe
and I have never been serious.

Seven hours after my birth,
my mum looked at me smiling.

My dad visited and said I was cute.
He said I looked like him.

My mum got nervous about it,
and said, "Go now, my husband is here."

Get lost!

Go away!

At seventeen,
when I went camping with May...

there was no one around
and we were in the same camp.

When the first
rays of sunshine came shining in...

May lay on my shoulder and said...

"You have to marry me in the future."

So I said I wasn't sure about the future.

She said,
"But I've already given you everything."

And I just grabbed my bag and said,

"Take these cans and biscuits back.
You don't have to marry me."

Miss, thanks for encouraging me.

I've been performing here for a week.

You're the first one
to appreciate my comedy.

Don't worry about them. They are heartless.

—They have no sense of humour.
—Shut up...

—When I was twenty-seven...
—How about fifty-seven?

I am not fifty-seven yet.

Wait until you are fifty-seven then.

Actually, I'm twenty-seven years old now.

I met a beautiful girl. Her name is...

Miss, what's your name?

—That's lame!
—Don't tell him, Gigi.

Her name is Gigi.
When we first met, I asked her...

"Gigi, do you have time for a coffee?"

Don't listen to him, Gigi.

I am smart, no girls have ever refused me.

Joe, it's the funniest thing
you've done so far.

They bet that I can't make it.
What do you think?

—Put down the mike. Let's go.
—Hold it for me, please.

—Hold it for you?
—Yes, hold it for a moment, please.

—Great.
—Thanks.

My mom was a real woman
when I was in middle school.

She was the first one to start shaving.

You know how she tied shoe laces?

She first lifted up this leg,
then tied the laces on the other.

—Excuse me.
—Yes.

Do you know what "rubbish talk" is?

What rubbish talk?

It means we talk about
something totally different.

—I don't know.
—Try it.

—Bill, please.
—Coming.

—Brandy.
—Five dollars, please.

If you want to swim to the States,
what swimming style is the best?

Bi's goods are old stock.

Tell Ho not to play Mahjong so late.
People have to work in the morning.

Go and see the herbal doctor if you like.

Are you insane?

Man Tianchou was from Yuan Dynasty.
How could he sit together with Jesus?

How could you scold your mother?

Pal, what would you like?

Marlon Brando said jelly is good.
I'll have a cup of milk tea.

—How about her?
—Does Wong Fei Hung's suit fit you?

Reagan asked Elsie out for tea.

Cream with milk.

I forgot to bring the parachute
for the boat rowing.

Good.

What else do you want?

Egg and beef sandwich. Didn't you hear me?

Peter Pan has sons for three meals.
Does he want daughters?

Just egg if there is no beef.
But I want it snooker style.

—Toasted you mean?
—Bill, please.

Sorry, he has to go for a morning walk.

$1,365.

$1,365 for a cup of coffee?

Are you insane, Boss?

The temperature is sixty three.
Kent is better than Yamaha.

The trend is talking nonsense.

You must be mad.

I told you I've been
on a vegetarian diet for three days.

You have to pay $1,920.

Sorry, four dollars.

This isn't a restaurant,
it's a mental hospital.

Acid.

Poison.

Eat crap.

How can you say that?

—Egg Sandwich.
—You are stingy.

You gave me so little.

I have been out of a job lately.

Sir, I am Mr Yip, nice to meet you.
This is my name card.

Please come to my club to
perform talk shows. Give me a call.

My jokes are for a single person only.

Hi.

A friend of mine married lately.

The next night he called me.

I asked him if he enjoyed it.

He said,
"Yes, I did it three times last night."

I told him to take care,
there are long days ahead.

Two days later...

I asked him again. He put up five fingers.

"Wow, five times?"

He said, "Yes, pal.
You told me not to work too hard."

A week later, I played tennis with him.

A few hours later,
I asked him the same question again.

He put up eight fingers. Eight times?

That's exaggerating. It's a bad lie.

He said he really did it eight times.

A week later...

I went swimming with him.
He swam ten rounds non-stop.

He must be having a normal life.

But he said he did it
sixteen times last night.

Sixteen times? Can he count?

It's very easy.

One, two, three...

four, five, six, seven, eight...

The wife asked the husband,
"Why did you give me drugs?"

So he said, "You said you have a headache."

The wife said, "I never said that."

The husband was happy and said,
"Then we can have some fun."

Crap...

Crap!

Joe...

why are you so upset?

They are all old tricks,
not exciting at all.

I have something good.

Really? Tell me.

The monkey was the only survivor
after a plane crashed.

And the people wanted to know
what happened, so they asked the monkey.

But the monkey only knew sign language.

No one knew what it meant.

They sent in a sign language expert.

But the monkey was impatient...

and it went away. So they asked
the expert what did the monkey say.

The expert said...

"The plane flew so fast.
I was scared and covered my eyes."

"When the plane crashed,
I couldn't see anything."

"I told you so many times
and you still don't understand."

"You are so stupid."

Is it funny?

It is funny.

Just funny is not enough.
It has to be very funny.

I need to have visual effect
and instant response from the crowd.

Joe, you are in a talk show.
You are not Rambo.

What kind of visual effects do you want?

Don't pressure yourself too much.

I have to race with myself
to be an entertainer.

Stallone beat Vietnam, then the Soviets.

And next time, he could beat E.T.

Have a shower and calm down.

The plane was zooming by. It went...

No, it's not funny.

I need to come up with something new.

There was a war mission...

Or, I'll start the story with a heroine.

She was practising her sword skill.

Now, the world's missing
the best swordsman.

That's it.

It makes sense now.

One heroine says, "Let's join forces."

The other heroine says, "No problem."

She pulls out her sword and attacks.

Then she realises the sword is missing.

It works!

Yeah, it's funny!

Good...

Me being scared is funny?

You look funny when you're scared.

It is funny when one is scared?

We want Joe...

Joe has a lot of fans.
It's a full house every night.

We want Joe...

—For you.
—Thanks. Good luck.

Hi, everybody.

My friend Jim went hunting
with his friend last week.

When they got to the site...

he saw a rabbit go past.
He shot it with an arrow...

but he bloody missed it.

Jim's friend said...

"Hey, it's all right.
You don't have to swear."

And then he saw a deer.
He used three arrows this time.

Crap! Missed it again.

They saw an elephant later.

Jim's friend said,
"Don't swear, because it will upset God."

Jim took out all his arrows this time.

He missed it, and swore again.

And then came the lightning.

Jim laid on the ground
and thought he would be dead.

But his friend
was the one who died instead.

He thought it was strange.

Then the sky opened up.
The Thunder God said...

"Crap! How could I miss it?"

Thanks...

Great. Great.

—Thanks.
—Great, let's drink.

Thanks for coming.

I was kidding.
I haven't quite got your name.

I am Fat Dog.

Bloody fool.

I'm sorry... I'll clean it for you.

Yes, that's right...

That's all right, please hold on.
I'll show you something good.

Are you kidding me?

I'm not kidding.
It's not like this, but like this.

You fool me?

I am not laughing at you.
They are laughing at you.

That's too much!

You fool my boss?

Come on, stop playing.
Put this toy gun away.

I am not playing with you!

Joe!

Stop playing.

But there's no laughter without play.

Ladies and gentlemen, "Dirty and Ugly!"

Let's welcome them.

It was a good show you put on.

You made me think of it.
I said to make something new.

Joe.

Congratulation, Joe. Excellent.
Very good show. huh?

Las Vegas will always welcome you.

—Really?
—Sure.

Okay. You list out the terms on the contract.

Thank you.

I say you bring me good luck.
We're going to be rich.

—Joe, will you sign the contract now?
—Now problem!

Rich?

—You go and have a drink, okay?
—Okay...

Everybody, it's the third
anniversary of Joe on stage.

Let's celebrate with champagne.

Thanks for supporting me
over the past three years.

The champagne is for you all.

Let's open it.

Joe!

Joe...

Joe...

Joe... are you all right?

Don't die, Joe.

Okay, I won't die.

This is my wife, Gigi.

Joe, great.

Thanks.

Who threw her shoe onto the stage?

Joe...

Joe...

Over there!

Get in the car!

Quick, get in!

—Drive!
—What are you doing?

Shut up!

No...

—Shut up!
—What do you want?

I'll shoot you. Drive!

Lo, ring up the boss.
Ask him what to do with the money.

Quick. Don't move.

Put away the pistol.

What an idiot. Quick.

What are you doing? Shut up!

No...

Shut up or I'll kill you.

Sir, I am scared.

I've been an undercover for two months.

It's not as easy as you told me.

I'm afraid that I can't make it.

We have investigated them for a long time.

We have to get the boss first.

Keep in touch with us, keep calm.

How can I be calm, Sir?
We have three hostages.

My partner is called Brow,
he's cruel and heartless.

Do whatever he says, then call me.

What's taking him so long?

Yes, Boss.

Pull up at the phone booth.

—Did you call the boss?
—Yes.

—Get in then.
—Yes.

—What did boss say?
—To wait at his mistress's place.

She's gone for a long time.

That's good, there's no one around.

Come in. Quick.

Quick, go!

Walk faster.

The three of you sit here.
Be good or I'll kill you.

Brow, let me inspect
the place here first, okay?

No need. I know the place pretty well.

See if there is beer in the fridge.

Give it to me.

Pal, take it easy.

What are you doing?

What happened, Brow?

I told them not to move but they moved.

I want to go to the toilet.

So you want to go to the toilet?

When you are so scared,
you would wet your pants.

Shut up!

—I'll keep an eye on them.
—Give it to me!

Why did you take my gun?

It has got your finger prints on it.

No!

I scare the crap out of you!

It's not a real pistol?

We can't always use real stuff.

We don't have that many guns.

Yours is fake.

Mine is a real one.

Pal, no wonder the boss likes you.

He said you have guts
and you can remain calm.

—Boss is telling the truth.
—Where is the beer?

—I'll go buy some.
—You fool!

Boss will be here any minute. Sit down.

Which girl do you like?

None.

Choose the man then. He's
better looking than the boss's mistress.

That's his mistress?

He likes beards.

That's why he gives you a chance.

Boss, we have arrived.

It adds up to more than one million dollar.

Fine. We are fine.

I understand. I'll look after him for you.

Because he's better than you know who.

Good, boss, get some clothes.

Bye.

Lo, I'm taking you to
the boat tonight to meet the boss.

Taking me there?

The boss finds it boring at sea.

Can't you go and make him happy?

Yes or no?

Yes...

Don't talk back to me.

I'm going to take a nap.
Don't worry about your gun.

Take a grenade instead.

Bomb them to death if they try to escape.

Hold it carefully.
It'll explode with the slightest movement.

Grab it.

Hold it tight!

Don't be afraid.

I want to have sex.

Let me pick one.

What are you trying to do?

Brow...

Sit down.

See who is the one.

Eeny meeny miny mo,
catch the tiger by the tow...

if she screams, let her go...

you!

Honey, you are lucky.

Stop it.

She would rather die.

That's simple.

I'll kill her and then rape...

Rape her body?

No, I'll kill her and then rape you.

No...

Pal Brow...

rape me instead.

You're so noble? Is she your lover?

No...

You slut.

How can you say so?

—Do you want to die?
—Pal Brow.

Smack me instead of her.

I see, if you like her so much,
I'll fulfil your wish.

You rape her.

—No, I hate him.
—Fine.

You choose one of us.

Brow, leave me alone.
I can't do it this time.

Choose.

Which one?

I'd rather choose him.

No.

No? Why do you say no?

—Do you want me to beg you?
—I am a man.

I've dignity. How could I let you rape me?

You have to beg me.

Right, if she doesn't beg you...

we'll rape her together.

Hong, I beg you.

Go into the room!

Don't come out if you can't settle her.
Move!

You better don't try to escape
or try to get help.

Or else I'll kill both of you.

Go back to your seat!

Lo, come over
and give me a pounding massage.

Hey, just do the normal massage.

Pounding is too noisy.
I hate noise when I sleep.

Do you really want to...

—Do you really want to...
—Yes.

I want to...

marry you.

But I don't have the time now.

You are useless.

Do you understand?

You don't understand?

What are you doing?

Pressing your leg.

It hurts!

Put my leg down.

I asked you to massage, not press.

I can never have a good nap.

Idiot.

I am...

a police officer...

undercover.

Don't be afraid.

I'll protect you.

I'll get him.

—What are you doing?
—Nothing.

—Did you write something?
—No...

I didn't write anything.

What does it mean?

Brow, are you illiterate?

It was the liberation year...

when I was born.

Then the Three-Anti campaign
and the Five-Anti campaign.

I was one of the red army
during the cultural revolution.

In the era of the Gang of Four,
I was at the border.

I sneaked into Hong Kong,
and became a robber.

How could I have time to study?

Brow, you are so smart.

No need to study, you'll be fine.

Right.

What's written?

Maybe it's a clue.

It could lead us to the boss's mistress.

No, it's a foul language.

What does it say?

Foul-mouthed Wen must have took
him away. That fellow is very good at it.

Hello, Boss? Early in the morning?

I understand.

No one knows we are here except you.

I don't know. Okay.

Lo. The ship will leave tomorrow.

There's an undercover amongst us.
We are told to be careful.

If I find out who he is, I'll surely
chop him up and feed him to the dogs.

What are you doing?

No food. No game.

It's so hard to kill time.

Brow, I'll show you some magic.

—You know magic?
—See if you can see how I do it.

Give me your gun.

—Why?
—We'll play the pistol game.

Watch carefully.

—Real or replica?
—Replica.

—Really?
—I saw it clearly.

You're quick indeed.

You got me. My turn.

Is this the real one?

—I don't know.
—You have to guess.

Can I don't play?

Fine, let's reveal the answer.

This is not the real one.

And this?

Brow, this one is real, let's stop.

They are both replicas,
and so are the grenades.

We don't have so many real things.

What are you doing?

I've finally got you.

I am the undercover!

You betrayer!

—Gigi, are you all right?
—I am fine.

He...

He is an undercover police officer.

Hello.

Boss.

Brow is in the toilet.

Change time again?
You will be here in ten minutes?

My boss... no...

The gang is coming in ten minutes.

Second floor.

Boss.

What happened?

Boss, after you called...

Brow attacked me
after coming out of the toilet.

And I suspected he is undercover.

He stopped me from killing them.

—Really?
—Yes.

And he and your mistress...
I don't want to say it.

Did he really betray me
and even take my mistress?

Are they dead yet?

Yes...

Boss...

Brow might have called the police. Go now.

So what? I am not scared.

Boss, your life is very precious.
If you die, I will be very sad.

We can use Brow as a hostage.

We might have a chance to escape.
I'll cover you, so you can escape.

You are really the love of my life.

You shouldn't think about love
at a situation like this.

I'll never forget you.

Get him out.

Listen, you're surrounded.
Come out and give yourself up.

Listen, this is your undercover.

If you want him alive, listen to our terms.

—Who is the undercover?
—The one with the beard.

The one who is bald.

Our request is simple and reasonable.

All of you leave here immediately.

Get a chopper and five million in cash
ready in thirty minutes.

Hey! Open up...

We agree, five hundred bullets, shoot him.

No... we will surrender.

You were brave.

But it's not good to reveal your identity.

I can't praise you in public.

I can only...

It's a pity to be an undercover.

What can I do? Undercover is undercover.

But I have something to announce.

—An award?
—A scholarship.

You will be sent to Scotland for training.

Can I stay?

Aren't you happy?

You will get promoted when you come back.

I am falling in love, Sir.

What?

I'm in love.

Rubbish. You should go no matter what.

Say "Thank you, Sir" and get out.

Thank you, Sir.

After that...

High Lo went with me to Scotland
for training.

You had the training too?

I slept with him...

and he had the training.

And he got promoted to captain...

after he came back.

So he had a better life after marrying you.

Yes.

But I can't change my fate.

After he got promoted...

he was working even harder.

He thought he was Clint Eastwood,
the master sleuth.

Five of them with pistols,
circled the bank three times.

Thank you.

High Lo.

Be careful. Clint Eastwood is
a hero only in the movies.

I can't remember
if it was five or six shots.

Do you think you want to risk it?

Why take the chance?

High Lo!

High Lo!

The gearbox is not working properly.

Don't push too hard.

Step on the brake!

Put on the second gear!

There's a slope ahead.
You hold the steering wheel.

Stick shifts are hard to drive.

So are eating crabs, so why eat them?

Chi, what shall we do?

Don't worry, it's not our fault.
We've to argue our way out.

Don't say anything. I'll do the talking.

How could you drive like that?
How could you stop here?

You bashed my car.
What are you going to do about it?

I won't let you off easily
even if you pay me money.

I might have been hurt internally.

Chi, just leave it.

No, how can I?
Don't pity this kind of people.

He may not have a driving permit.

He should not drive such a bad car.

He'll hurt more people
if I don't scold him.

What are you looking at?

Don't think that we are weak women.

We are tough.

Cow... it's hot and you talk so much.

Watch out, your tongue might get burnt.

It's your fault.

But I won't waste my time talking to you.

I will pay for the wreckage.

How much? 500? 600? 700? 800? 900?

Wait.

It was me who hit your car.

I know, I am not blind.

I am the one to talk about compensation.

—Not her.
—Fine.

How much? Tell me.

—300,000.
—300,000?

300,000? I can buy thirty of those
with that amount of money.

You two must be money hungry.

Take it, I've never been
bought with money by a man before.

Do you think he doesn't drool
when he sees money?

You lost, bro.

Fine, I will take the money.

But can I cash the check?

This is my name card.
Call if you can't cash it.

But I don't think you will need to.

Chi, let's go back to the car.

Gigi, you really gave him 300,000?

It's quite expensive to
buy back his self-esteem.

—Hit him once more.
—Good.

Hit him until we have enough. Get in...

Hit him, quick.

—Come in.
—Please go in.

Miss Ho, I represent
the mentally handicapped.

They made this for you. Please accept it.

But I didn't donate any money.

Yes, you did. This is the receipt.

$300,000?

—It's you.
—$300,000 for my self-esteem?

It's too little.

I donated the money to charity.

I think it suits you.

Mandy, come in.

Hello.

—Miss Ho, what's the matter?
—Throw away the flowers for me.

Throw away?

What a waste.

You are not a kid.
You should keep the flowers.

Miss Ho, should I call the guards?

No, go back to your work.
This is a private matter between us.

Miss Ho.

You go out first.

It's 12:25 pm now,
let's have lunch together.

Why should I?

Why not? Both of us are hungry...

and it's time for lunch.

Do you think I'm a money hunter?

And you are too young
to be a target for a money hunter.

Well, does it mean that we can go?

You are the most rude
and arrogant person I've ever seen.

Fine, I will go. But it's because
I want to find out your faults.

Hey.

Let's go in.

—Aren't we going for lunch?
—We are.

But you should get a better dress.
You are too old-fashioned.

Hey, you're pretty.

You don't need expensive clothes
to compliment you.

You should wear something casual.

Think about it.

Youth, energy, skin and shape.
You're better than others.

You're right.

Let's go in.

Hop in.

Hey!

Hold the chopsticks tightly.

This way.

What's taking them so long?

Let's sit here. Have a seat.

—We've to be quick.
—What's the matter with them?

What are they doing?

Waiting to grab food, this is a
steam boat buffet restaurant.

For forty dollars,
you can get as much food as you like.

It will come out soon.

You haven't been here before?

No.

—Do you have to grab food?
—What would you like to drink?

Tea. Of course you do.

And grab the expensive stuff first.

What are the expensive stuff?

Oysters, and fresh prawns.

And lobsters too.

And mushroom.

How about abalone?

Abalone? Try looking for it in the sea.

Coming!

Be quick...

Excuse me.

Take it...

Excuse me...

I've got a lot of food today.

Look!

I bet you didn't get anything.

That's all I have got.

That's it.

You got more than I did.
You put me to shame.

Stop. Finish the food first.

I don't know if we can finish all of them.

Where is my dish? Who took my food?

Who took my dish? Give it back to me!

Give it back to me quickly!

It's so exciting.

There is a diamond in the vegetables.

—Really?
—A diamond?

It's from my ring.

I found a pearl in the oyster.

So much extra stuff?

My pearl necklace is broken.

—Really?
—Look for it.

Jack, my diamond earring...

It could be in the food.

Back off!

I'm rich.

I'm rich.

Do you need me to look for it?

No.

There's something else...

I dare not tell you.

What?

What?

You forgot to zip.

What? You lost your purse too?
With a few hundred thousand in it?

They are so easily tricked.

Well, you can have whatever you want now.

It could have pearls.

Eat.

It feels good to spend all the money.

—I want to ask you a question.
—Go ahead.

—What is your job?
—A playboy.

—I knew it.
—Really?

My father died two years ago
and left me a fortune.

So I don't have to work.

I had many wishes when I was young...

but I never thought of becoming a playboy.

So I want to shorten
the time of being a playboy.

I've spent all the money
and now it's time to start life anew again.

But let's take shelter from the rain first.

What a heavy rain.

Anyway, do you have a vacancy
in your company?

We are not rich enough to hire you.

I know, but I can take any job.

Do you want to be an errand boy?

That's wasting my talent.

I've got more than that.

I wasn't a good student.
I skipped class a lot.

I cheated during the exam to get
one credit and nine distinctions.

I studied medicine during
the first year in university.

Second year was commerce,
and third year, end of study.

End of study?

I got thrown out.

And after that,
I went to Boston University.

And worked in banks in Wall street.

I came back in my twenties.

You are telling me that you are good?

Of course, look at my teeth.
I'm telling the truth.

Fine, I'll let you be a manager then.

I'll start work as a manager
in your company?

What do you think people would say?

Would they suspect
something is going on between us?

I think they will say...

Say what?

I went to bed with you?

You've crossed the line.

It will become lame if we go on.

The rain has stopped. I have to go now.

Raymond, I have been very happy lately.

I know.

Everyone is happy when in love.
But don't let love get mature.

No, Jack won't get married.

We will just stay in love forever.

There must be something wrong with him.

That's why he doesn't want
to be your husband.

Or he knows about your past.

Raymond, are you trying to
ruin my happiness?

No, I'm not. I'm just worried that
you are too deep into this.

Don't be childish. If he loves you,
he will ask you to marry him.

What will you do about that?

And then I...

I will break up with him.

I don't want to hurt him.

—Isn't that right thing to do?
—Right.

And you will come back to me again.

I'll be rich just to have you
as my patient.

—Aren't you happy to see me?
—Of course I am.

If you pay the bill for this month,
I will be even happier.

So realistic.

Madam, this lobster is fresh.

Put the lobster down and leave me alone.

Do you think you can handle it?

I can handle it.

Chi, the lobster escaped!

Chi...

You're so bad!
You scared me! Put it back here.

I'll beat you to death!

How dare you scare me like that?

Marry me.

What did you say?

Marry me.

What's the matter?

—No.
—Why?

No.

I can't marry you.

I can't marry you!

Gigi.

Gigi.

Gigi, open the door.

What happened?

Chi, what's wrong with Gigi?
Did I say something wrong?

You said nothing wrong.
She doesn't want to get hurt again.

Get hurt?

I just asked her to marry me.
Is it a bad thing?

You'll die if she marries you.

—And she will get hurt.
—Rubbish.

Gigi...

Open the door. Or I'll force it open.

Excuse me.

He is Gigi's psychiatrist. Go and find him.

He'll tell you all about it.

Psychiatrist?

That's it.

—I don't believe it.
—That's not unusual.

I didn't believe it at first either.
I thought it was a coincidence.

But then it happened seventeen times.

Seventeen times.

What? Gigi has married seventeen times?

Yes, she agreed to marry them.

And the men who married her...

became rich and then died.

Fine, doctor, let me tell you.

I am the eighteenth one, and the last one.

You want to be rich
but you are not afraid to die?

No, I only want to marry her.

You are her psychiatrist,
you know her well.

Help me to break her mental barrier.

You have to help me.

I will lose my customer by doing that.

But since I'm her doctor...

I have to do what is best for her.

Fine, I will help you.

—But you've to give me a lot of money.
—I will.

Chi.

You should congratulate me.

Right, congratulations.

—Me too, Mr Wong.
—Thanks.

What are you celebrating?

—Can you tell me?
—Yes, sure.

But you can't see it.

—What's going on?
—Don't ask.

A surprise for you.

It's not my birthday today.

Quick...

Nice?

—It's your birthday today?
—Yes.

Why can't I see?

I want to make a wish.

Of course you can.

I have made a wish.

I'll give you a gift.

It's your birthday...

I should give you a gift instead.

If you accept it...

then you have given me the best gift.

Everybody, today is
the wedding between Jack and Gigi.

We wish they will grow old together...

and live happily ever after.

Congratulations, Mr Wong.

Thanks.

Congratulations.

Congratulations, Miss.

You have married me.

You really want to marry me?

Yes, although it's a simple ceremony...

I am serious.

You are my wife starting from now.

But you will...

Don't say anything bad.

Promise me not to get rich.

My fortune is to have you.

Doctor, how is it?

Tell Jack that
I've put it in the trash bin.

Just do as we planned.

Good, bye.

Let me have a look at your finger.

—Which one?
—The best one.

—What are you doing?
—You are my wife from now on.

I have waited for this moment
for a long time.

Did it hurt?

No, hit me one more time.

They are the best goods.
If not, go and ask the gold shop.

Dirty Kam...

your men are good. They've
managed to rob so many diamonds.

We had to risk our lives.

—Take the money out.
—Yes, boss.

—It's right.
—Let's cooperate again next time.

Dirty Kam, are you an undercover?

No, you are the one who betrayed me.

Throw it down the alley.

Swallow them.

—Swallow them.
—Idiot, you can't run away again!

—Idiot?
—Ah Fai, you'd better come out now.

Open up.

Where is Fai? Where is the slut? Tell me.

—Tell me quick.
—Who are you looking for?

My husband.

—What number and what floor?
—Flat B, fourteenth floor.

—This is flat A, fourteenth floor.
—Throw up the diamonds, come on!

Hit him!

Let's go.

Where?

The car is over there, Madam.

Let's have a little adventure.

What adventure?

—Hey.
—Come on.

We should find our own adventure too.

Why did you bring me here?

We'll try something risky.

See if we will meet a robber here.

Don't worry,
you are safe before getting rich.

Remember not to get rich.

Don't even pick up money.

Jack, are you all right?

I am fine... what is it?

What is in this bag?

So much money. We're rich.

Don't take the money.

No one can see us.

—Don't take it...
—It's fine, don't be afraid...

Jack...

Throw it away.
You promised me not to get rich.

But there's no reason to throw it away.

Fine, I'll take it to the police.

If someone finds it and keeps it...

the person who lost the money is pitiful.

You promise to take it to the police?

Yes.

Don't you want to know how much is inside?

Don't take it no matter how much.

Right, give it to me.

Who are you?

You can call me anything
but the money is mine.

No, the money is not ours.
You can't take it.

Give it to him.

—He fainted.
—Let's go.

No, I have to take him to the police.

—No, let's go.
—No, I have to.

Hey...

Pal, wake up.

You've to stab me,
otherwise how can I die? Wake up.

Jack.

He resists, I'll fight back.

Jack.

—Stab me...
—Jack!

I'll stab you...

I am dying...

You can't live.

—Jack!
—I'm dying.

Call him back... he forgot about the money.

Blood... help...

Don't shout anymore, it is fate.

Let me die in peace.

You can't die, don't die...

Death doesn't matter.

I'll die in romance.

I'm lucky to die in your arms.
Hold me tight.

Hold my hand.

Is my hand cold?

No, it's warm.

Right, that's the flame of love.

Although I am dying...

but the flame of love keeps burning.

Why do you still say that
when you're dying?

I'll call the ambulance.

No, don't.

You better believe in fate.

I'll die on the way to the hospital anyway.

No.

You can still survive.
I'll find somebody to help.

Jack, don't believe in fate...

You don't believe in fate?
But you said you believed in fate.

Every man who marries you
will become rich and then die.

No, not this time.

Even if this is fated to happen,
we can't just wait to die.

We've to take charge of our fate.

Right.

Get up.

I'm just tricking you.

You now understand that
we can control our own fate.

What about the blood?

It's tomato sauce.

What about that robber?

He's Raymond, your psychiatrist.

I'm so glad that you're still alive.

I won't die so easily.

The blood is not real.
Even the money is fake too.

Jack.

Jack.

Jack, what is Raymond doing?

—Don't be afraid.
—What is he doing?

You two really have guts.

How dare you take my money?
Give me back the money.

Give it back to him.

—Let my friend go first.
—Yes.

—Want to bargain with me? Di.
—Yes.

Kill them if they don't
hand over the money.

You want to kill us
for some counterfeit money?

What? Counterfeit money?

If it's counterfeit money,
I will chop you up!

Isn't the money fake?

The bag you're holding
contains real money...

the other bag is over there.

—Hand it over!
—Stop!

—What's up?
—I am Chuen of Wy Nam Gang.

They are from Shan Tung, Shan Sai,
Wu Pei, Wu Nam.

In short, every gang is here.

Pals, I only want my money back.

Please forgive me
if I've done something wrong.

Hong Kong is my home.

It's my turf here, and we're here to rob.

I'm not here to ruin your business.
You have to leave now.

The money is ours.
How could you take it away from us?

—Who do you think you are?
—Shut up.

You are not entitled to talk.

You behave like a real boss.

Pal, I won't let you go away empty-handed.

We'll give you ten percent
out of the five million.

You can share it,
it's none of our business.

—Yes.
—Don't go yet.

Since it's in your hands, it's yours now.

It's mine.

—I say it's theirs.
—It's mine.

—Theirs.
—Mine.

So what now?

—Drop it.
—No!

—If you drop it, I'll kill you.
—Give it back to me or I kill him.

No...

—What should we do?
—We'll die whatever we do.

We keep it.

Get lost!

Go after them!

—Wait...
—Stop!

Let's go.

—Stop.
—Help!

Go.

It's a dead end.

Trying to get away? Get them!

What should we do?

Go up.

—Stop him.
—Yes.

Jump.

He didn't jump.

What then?

Let's go.

—Are you alright?
—I am fine.

How dare you!

Catch it.

Gigi...

Gigi...

Don't run!

—Help!
—After her!

Be careful...

—Turn around.
—I'm scared.

—Stop...
—I'm scared.

Be careful...

—I am fine.
—There's more.

This is bad...

Why are you leaving early on my birthday?

What's the matter?

Someone is after me.

—Them?
—You too!

Let's go and have some drinks.

No.

—What's the matter?
—I found some money.

Where is the money?

Over there.

$4.9 million.

Five million.

It is five million in total.

You are good citizens to turn in the money.

But according to the laws of Hong Kong...

if the money is not claimed
in three months...

the money will be yours.

No, donate it to the Community Chest.

But you have to wait until
it belongs to you first.

Don't worry.
Someone would definitely claim it.

It's five million. Can we go now?

—Go ahead...
—Good, we can go home now.

This is the first time
I've counted so much money.

Let's count it again.

Taxi...

What's wrong with him?

Crazy.

—Get in!
—Help!

Get in.

Listen, take care of yourself.

I will ask for your money in three months.

If there's no money, I will kill you.

—Don't move.
—Help!

Quick, get in.

Kid, you better take care of yourself.
And watch your diet.

We want the money in three months.
You're dead if you don't have it.

Remember it! Let's go.

What should we do after three months?

What's the matter with you?

Are you tired of living?

He has got your character.

Hey, don't try anything funny!

—Loan Shark Hung?
—Kid.

—Chuen?
—Hey.

Kid, you want to die?

—Do you want me to chop you up?
—I am sorry, Big Brother.

—I didn't know he's your boss.
—What?

He's not our boss.

He is more important than our boss.

He's our fixed deposit.

Go and get the money now.

Okay. Let's go.

Idiot!

You are unlucky. Let's go.

What should we do? We can't go anywhere.

How can we donate it to charity?

We'll die if we donate it.

—Let's go back.
—Go back?

Five million again? Are you playing games?

We are not playing games.
The game is playing us.

Is there a law that
we can't find lost money again?

Fine... you must have too much time.

If no one claims it,
it's yours after three months.

Thank you, sir.

Twenty years later

Five million dollars again?

I'm going to retire
after counting them this time.

Do you remember how many times
have I counted them?

Four times a year,
Twenty years, so eighty times.

No... eighty one times.
You forgot the first time.

Okay...

It's yours if no one claims it
in three months.

—Thanks.
—Thanks.

—Let's go and have tea.
—It's on me this time.

Fine...

Where are they?

Are they...

Dead?

Good, we're rich. We have won at last.

My heart...

They are here.

Give me back the money.

Darn it...

The two of them are still alive.

I... I will live.

Hey...

Give us back the money.

Madam, can we stop playing this game?

No, remember that you've signed
the contract that night.

You've to do this until you die.

Madam,
we've been doing this for thirty years.

And we can't do it anymore.

Jack is used to it already.

If not, he thinks he's rich.
Then I'll have a hard time.

—Go after him.
—Yes...

Why did we sign the contract?

I'll kill you.

—Let's run.
—Don't worry.

If we kill you,
we don't have to chase anymore.

We don't want to play anymore!