16 Bars (2018) - full transcript

Inmates in Virginia attempt to transcend the cycle of recidivism through an unlikely artistic collaboration behind bars with Grammy-winning hip hop artist Todd 'Speech' Thomas.

[soft music]

♪ White justice
in a black robe ♪

♪ And I pray the Lord have
mercy on my black soul ♪

♪ And I'm so tired of
getting back door ♪

♪ And I'd be rich
if I had a dollar ♪

♪ For every door
that got closed ♪

- It's still a surreal feeling.

It's almost like I'm
in a dream state.

[soft music]

[sirens wailing]

The anxiety level
was through the roof.



Will my past come
back to haunt me?

Everything that destroyed
me is right there.

You know I pray that I'm ready.

Hey what's going on, brother?

Alright.

It's a maze over there, man,

of just death, hell,
and destruction.

Used to be a bench over there.

I was sitting on it one
time waiting on this guy

to bring me some weed
out the building.

A white Bonneville pulled up.

A guy got out with a revolver
and shot him in his head.

I'll never forget feeling
blood just splatter on my face

and I couldn't hear because
my ears were ringing



and I remember walking
back to Duval Street

where my daddy house
was covered in blood

and my daddy told me I had
to make a decision then.

Either you was gonna
be a wolf or a sheep.

And if I was gonna be a
sheep, clean myself up,

and go stay with my mama.

If I'ma be a wolf, lick the
blood off and stay with him.

I was about maybe 15 years old.

I got addicted to
crack out here.

Heroin.

Pain pills.

I just medicated myself to deal

with a lot of the stuff I seen.

Once I started getting high,
I couldn't sell drugs no more

because I did 'em all so I'll
just sit and let you sell 'em

and then come take everything.

At one time it was either give
it to me or give it to God

and God don't want it.

And that's how I was.

Just wild.

Any robberies, home invasions,

chasing people down
the street with guns.

I feel guilt.

I feel a little shame.

At the same time
I feel empowered

because I feel like if I
could change, anybody could.

When I came to the
Richmond City Jail,

I was feeling helpless, lost.

[bright music]

I walked in the pod.

Initially I was apprehensive

like I'm not going
in no damn program.

- There's no gangstas
up here, fellas.

It's about changing
attitudes and behavior.

You have to do
something different.

You have to, fellas.

[bright music]

- I believe in the debt.

Second chances, they deserve
it and I'm gon' give it to 'em.

- [Woman] Let's
just look this over.

- [Man] Yes ma'am.

- [Woman] It says which
he then took place

before the decoration.

- Man, if heroin is the
answer, what is the question?

- [Man] Man, I'm not
going in no program,

but I love music so I went.

[gentle music]

- [Woman] Walk on through.

- Where is it at?

It's in a secret pocket.

- No secret in the pockets.

Arms out to the side.

Alright.

- Thank you.

- So this is one of
our male program pods.

So right now we have
about 65 men on here.

Everybody you see on
here has volunteered

to be apart of the program.

So they're here for however
long they want based on behavior

or until we remove
them possibly.

[audience clapping]

- What's up brothers?

How y'all doing?

My name is Speech.

And I'm from the hip hop
crew Arrested Development.

We call our music life music,

which means that we appreciate
this journey of life.

We heard about what the
sheriff was doing here

and how unique it was
and I personally wanted

to come here and get immersed
into it all and help out.

So I'm gonna be here for
the next almost two weeks

and we're gonna be
writing some music.

So maybe I'll get to see
y'all again at some point,

but thanks y'all for having me.

[audience clapping]

So if y'all don't mind I'd like

to do a little
something for you.

Is that cool?

♪ Lord I've really
been real stressed ♪

♪ Down and out

♪ Losing ground

♪ Although I am
black and proud ♪

♪ Problems got me pessimistic

♪ Brothers and sisters
keep messing up ♪

♪ Why does it have
to be so darn tough ♪

♪ I don't know where I can go

♪ To let these ghosts
out of my skull ♪

My band Arrested
Development has always

wanted to address issues that
are affecting our community

and I'm still just as passionate

about that as I ever was.

Even right now, it's
essential to who I am.

♪ To be my God enforcing truth

♪ For some strange
reason it had to be ♪

♪ He guided me to Tennessee

♪ Take me to another place

♪ Take me to another land

♪ Make me forget
all that hurts me ♪

♪ Let me understand your plan

♪ Take me to another

I know we have this
issue of incarceration

and it's a huge
problem in our country.

We have the largest prison
population in the planet earth.

- [Man] Five second
noise level check.

- [Group] Five second
noise level check.

- [Man] Here's your cell break.

Please get ready for lunch.

Thanks for letting me share.

- [Group] Thank you sir.

- In some states, one
in four black males

are gonna spend time in prison.

That's a lot.

And I know that we
don't necessarily have
all the solutions.

We're also not asking
the people on the inside

why they're actually there.

These are our people.

It's people from our community

and they have things
that they need

to be able to say to all of us

and I wanna help to bring
that out through music.

- [Man] Yes sir.

- And then I got
the speakers off.

I'ma get a level on your...

- Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

I ain't gonna be
that loud though.

That's too loud.

Yo.

Yo.

Well I got some spoken word.

I got some different things.

- Okay, let's try it.

So I think I got a level.

- So what you're gonna
do is record this

before you make the beat?

- Exactly.

- Oh you're a professional.

- I'm a professional.

That is true [laughs].

That is true.

Here go.

One, two, three.

♪ I was just a nomad

♪ Yeah the pain up in my past

♪ Yeah the is just so sad

Man, one more time, Speech.

My bad.

♪ Only things that I did even

Ah.

♪ Only things that I
did even being a kid ♪

♪ The pain of blessings
I'ma make it ♪

♪ Even though I'm messed up

It ain't.

That ain't.

♪ The pain is blessings

♪ The pain is blessings

♪ I'ma make it even
though I'm messed up ♪

- I love that right there.

♪ The pain is blessings

♪ I'ma make it even
though I'm messed up ♪

- [Speech] Here we go.

- Alright.

♪ The pain is blessings

♪ I'ma make it

Ah man, I can't rap
slow like that, man.

I rap fast talking about
money and drugs and stuff.

It's hard, man.

It actually irritates me

because I'm trying to
change so much, man.

Talking about this positivity
is very hard to do.

- [Speech] Well see, brother.

- You know what I mean?

I been in this joint so long.

Repetitiveness so much.

If you put me on a freestyle,

give me a blunt and a
bottle, I could just rip it.

- I totally get you.

You're putting it down on wax,

so it's supposed to take time.

So don't be frustrated.

It's good.

I'm just curious
and I don't know

if you wanna share this or
not, but what's your story?

Like how did you
even end up here?

- I'm learning
something in here.

Something called trauma.

And all of these things
that I'm going through now

started back then
without me knowing it.

This is what confused me and
I think messed my life up.

Right here this moment.

One day, my stepdad beat
the breaks out of my mother.

My mom lip was swole,
her eye was closed,

and she could barely see out
the other eye and I came home.

I called the police officers.

Police came to the door.

My mother answered the door
and the police officer said,

ma'am what's wrong
with your face?

Are you alright?

Is this man hitting you?

And she said no, I fell.

They could not take Travis.

They couldn't take him
because she said that.

So that point, I
didn't understand
what life was made of.

I didn't know what it was about

because he just beat
the bricks off you, mom.

I tried to help you and save
you and you know he left.

When the police left, Travis
beat the breaks off me.

He was whooping me for so long,

my legs was swollen and purple

and I remember that he
told me the next day.

It was summertime.

The next day he told
me that I better wear

these Wrangler jeans so the
people don't see my legs.

♪ Look I started with nothing

♪ Ain't no pain, no discussion

♪ Need to change my direction

♪ Or just gon'
cause an eruption ♪

♪ I think I'm way
too explosive ♪

♪ Think it's too
much destruction ♪

♪ I got some pain
up on my name ♪

♪ And it's waiting to crush me

♪ I been dancing with devils

♪ Up on way higher levels

♪ I need the ax and the shovel

♪ Just to clear out the rubble

Went through 13
different foster homes.

Seven different group homes.

I ran away from everyone.

Started playing with guns.

I started smoking weed everyday.

Then when I got
older and progressed,

I started sipping lean and I
was drinking so much yellow

and green promethazine that
I started having seizures.

Then I was popping pills
and then I was sniffing dope

because I was selling dope.

I became the plug.

That's where I ended up at, man.

That's how I ended up here, man.

You know what I mean? - Wow.

- I don't have no one.

I been homeless for the
last like two years.

♪ I wrote the truth so y'all can
have something to listen to ♪

♪ Hopefully I get it through

♪ All the dreams I didn't do

♪ I remember being in my
cell while I'm missing you ♪

♪ Missing you

- [Speech] We got it.

We're good.

Anthony.

- Yeah.

- [Speech] Dude.

That was my pleasure.

- That's what's up, man.

I appreciate you taking
time out of your day

to come see people
that's locked up, man,

and speak in numbers, man,
'cause you can be at home

with cucumbers over your eyes.

You know what I mean?

Drinking a daiquiri.

- That's exactly
what I usually do.

- You know what I'm saying?

- Little daiquiri
with my pinky up.

- You put the
cucumbers on your eyes?

- [Speech] I do.

I put the cucumbers.

- Word.

- I do that on a daily.

- Word.

I only seen it on movies but
right now I would've ate 'em.

Little bit of ranch.

- [Man] Yo.

[bright music]

How you feel?

- I tell my story.

When I was doing heroin,
I OD'd 15, 16 times,

but when I do, when
I go back out there,

I go back out there
looking for some more.

That's the sickness
of the disease.

So I got to change my thinking.

- A jail is a short
term holding facility.

People are only here for on
average four to five months.

Whether they are to be released
back into the community

or shipped to prison.

Everybody is in some
sort of transition.

It's our job as a
programming department

to make sure that they
have that transformation

that they need so
they don't get out

and continue to
do the same thing.

Thus leading back
to incarceration.

- Eventually you
know what happened

'cause that demon is just
laying there dormant.

Laying there dormant waiting
for the opportunity to arrive.

- [Sarah] Not
everybody's gonna change.

Not everybody's gonna make it.

We have lost I wanna say
nine people have gotten out

and overdosed and died.

- [Garland] Hey yeah hey.

Five second noise level check.

- [Group] Five second
noise level check.

- My name is Garland
and we'll hey alright.

We'll close this out
with the serenity prayer.

Alright.

Who can count all the
little hairs on your head?

- [Group] God, grant
me the serenity

to accept the things
I cannot change,

the courage to change
the things I can,

and the wisdom to
know the difference.

Just for today amen.

- You know any time
I've ever broke the law,

it's been because
I'm doing drugs.

You know what I mean?

You know I don't think
I was ever a threat

to anybody when I wasn't drugs.

Truth is, man, seems like
when I am, all bets are off.

You know?

[guitar music]

♪ I was torn to pieces

♪ For you charged
me at the door ♪

♪ Found my smoking numbers

♪ Scrape me off of the floor

♪ Smoky black lit cabaret

♪ Stir something in my soul

♪ The DJ showing
the spotlight now ♪

♪ And you swung
around the pole ♪

♪ Wearing six inch heels

♪ Please relieve me
of my dollar bills ♪

♪ I thought I had the blues

♪ Then I saw you in them shoes

♪ And it changed
the way I feel ♪

♪ All six inch heels

The Webster defines a desperado
as a reckless criminal.

At the time I was, you
know, I was embracing that.

I don't guess I
had much of a plan.

My dream was to be a
bouncer at a strip club.

♪ Sweet scent and rhythm with
a slipper made of glass ♪

♪ Wearing six inch heels

- If I can ask, what are you
in for in the first place?

- Man, heroin has
been my demise.

I started doing
dope at about 20.

I think I was high on
dope on my 22nd birthday.

It's a little over 10 years ago.

I was a white kid
that took a wrong turn

after culinary school, you know.

Finding my way into quite a
bit of trouble real quick.

Couple of grand larcenies
in the name of drugs.

And then came home.

Did good for awhile.

About a year.

And then started
doing dope again

and then went back
for a bank robbery.

Did seven years for that.

And then lasted like nine
months, man, unfortunately.

Locked back up again.

- This is now?

- Yes.

♪ Now the hours upon me

♪ To settle up my tab so

♪ Give a goodnight kiss
and pour me in a cab ♪

I don't know how much
longer I'm gonna be here,

but I wanna get out and
I really feel like I need

to fulfill my destiny
and it has a great deal

to do with playing music.

♪ Wearing six inch heels

I think I'll get one
more shot though.

I think it'll be my last one.

♪ All six inch heels

[phone ringing]

- [Yolanda] Hello?

- My queen.

- [Yolanda] Hey baby.

- Hey.

You know I was nervous
as you well know.

You know coming and just
like how am I gonna be used?

And what's my point?

What's my purpose?

Already my wheels are turning.

As far as songs I wanna write.

- [Yolanda] You know I was
praying for you this morning

and I was just praying that
your eyes will be open.

- Yeah, yeah.

It's one thing to
just be in a jail

and know that there's a problem.

It's another to start seeing
people trapped in a cycle.

They're striving
to overcome demons

that are just simply
hard to overcome.

- Good morning.

- [Teddy] Good
morning, how you doing?

- Alright.

How can I help you today?

- I'm here to see Sarah.

Doctor Scarborough.

- You have anything
in your pockets?

Cell phones, the rest, liters.

Take it out and put it in here.

- [Teddy] I been out
a little over a month.

I'm supposed to be
working with Sarah

to help me to get a job.

- [Sarah] Is it
like is it surreal

that this is happening like?

You're in the jail as
a guest, as a civilian.

- Yes, it's strange.

I don't know.

I feel better.

[gentle music]

Was at juvenile detention center

and I'm sitting
back looking like,

man I went from
there to over here.

I been coming back
and forth to jail

since I was 10 years old, man.

I made a career out of that.

You know what I'm saying like?

It's wack, man.

It's in the way, man.

- [Speech] What's up, bro?

- [Teddy] What's
going on, Speech?

- [Speech] I'm good, man.

How are you?

- [Teddy] Aw making it, man.

Feeling good.

How 'bout you, brother?

- I'm doing real good.

- I can't believe I'm
sitting in a room with you.

I was watching you
on Yo MTV Raps.

- [laughs] Yeah man.

- For real.

I knew music was part of my life

because when I got older
I hear stories about me.

Like some of my family would
call me Teddy Rock or Rock Head

because when I was
younger they said

any time somebody cut
music on, I'll stop,

and I'll start rocking my head.

So they call me Teddy Rock.

- [Speech] Definitely wanna
do some recording today.

- [Teddy] Yeah.

It's like fire in my bones.

I just wanna record.

I just need this
space to create.

That's what I need.

[bright music]

- [Speech] Teddy got out of
jail before we started filming.

When I heard his demo, I asked
Sarah if he can come back

so that I can record with him.

- Okay, I'm ready.

- Okay, I'm almost ready, too.

Let me do something right quick.

Here we go.

[bright music]

And it go.

♪ White justice
in a black robe ♪

♪ And I pray the Lord have
mercy on my black soul ♪

♪ And I'm so tired
of getting backdoor ♪

♪ And I'd be rich
if I had a dollar ♪

♪ For every door
that got closed ♪

♪ CNN broadcast the footage

♪ Unknown black man
in his early 20s ♪

♪ Filled up with bullets

♪ And I don't know
another way to put it ♪

♪ But that's messed up

♪ I cover up my head
with Trayvon hoodie ♪

♪ From Charlotte to
Tulsa to Cleveland ♪

♪ They can't justify how
we die for no reason ♪

♪ Just guilty for speeding

♪ They pull us over

♪ Next minute you bleeding

♪ Naw don't talk about freedom

♪ Just look how
they did the king ♪

♪ They kill all our leaders

♪ Lock a dog in a cage
and mistreat 'em ♪

♪ Then what you think gon'
happen once you release 'em ♪

♪ Instead of putting money
in the school system ♪

♪ They take money and
build a new prison ♪

♪ And guess who going in it

♪ Prison industrial complexes

♪ A one way ticket
because of my complexion ♪

♪ And by any means I'ma
protect what y'all threaten ♪

♪ That's why we ride
with pistols up under
them arm rests ♪

♪ 'Cause we civilly unrested

♪ And because I'm black
I might get arrested ♪

♪ We lost one

- De'vonte is a very,
very, very positive person.

I mean, I was really shocked
when he started like,

you know, living the street life

because that wasn't
him like growing up.

Growing up he was like a gamer.

He skateboard.

He wrote poems.

[guitar music]

I really don't know
like what happened.

[guitar music]

- There certainly
were other options,

but you know how I grew up,

my mother she was
like a queen pin.

You know, she was really,
really successful.

She had like this
notoriety around this area.

Really all of Richmond.

You know hustling.

Being out late night.

So I just kinda embraced that
and fell into her footsteps

and I thought that
maybe it was my destiny

to do this as well
unfortunately.

[guitar music]

I started playing guitar
when I was 12 years old.

I was really into it.

You know I played in a band

and you know we were
doing really good,

and then my band mates, they
got strung out on heroin

and I was selling them.

I started selling
them heroin, too.

I'm not in here for
drugs, you know.

That was just how I even
had the gun, you know,

because I was selling drugs.

I needed to protect myself.

[guitar music]

Me being in here has
kinda made my mama

to change her way
of living as well.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Yesterday you was
like you was shocked

that I was you know.

- [De'vonte] On time.

- [Crystal] You know on time.

- [De'vonte] Yeah, I can't lie.

I was.

I'm used to kind of, you know.

Procrastinating a bit.

- Well that kind of hurt my
feelings, but it's all good.

- [De'vonte] I know you
been doing good though.

Like I appreciate it.

Ma, I got three weeks left.

- [Crystal] Three weeks?

- [De'vonte] Yeah.

Now I'm in this like
job preparation program.

Pretty much preparing me
for, you know, the next step.

I just wanna do something
positive with myself, man.

- We are creating a resume
and I really want you

to think well who you are?

Are you diligent?

Are you always on time?

Are you punctual?

Are you hard working?

I want you to choose
words that describe you

and will set your
resume, set you apart.

Let's see.

This needs to be reworked.

Okay, so how we doing here?

- So how do I answer?

What's a good way I
can answer the question

when they ask me oh
I see you have a lot

of gaps in your job history?

- [Woman] If they ask you
that question, you say yes.

I would like the
opportunity to explain.

- Here we go.

[gentle music]

You know I'm still trying to
get adjusted to life out here.

The world is moving so
fast and I'm so far behind.

Yeah man, if I
get this job, man.

Hey man, you ready?

Yeah you know it's a toll?

How much is it?

- $4.

- Four?

It's been awhile since I even
went to a real interview.

I mean literally
like 18 years ago.

Chaspo Ice Company.

It was cold.

It was an ice factory.

Yeah.

I ain't keep it long.

I end up going to
prison for eight years.

One is an issue right now.

Especially coming out,
you need you know things

to survive out here.

It's not a good feeling to
have to go to your mother

or your girlfriend at
37 and have to ask them

to buy me underclothes.

God I pray that you
would show favor

when I go in here
for this interview.

Just be with me.

In your name I pray.

Amen.

That was fast.

He just asked me
about my job history.

I don't have one.

I just gotta be patient, man.

Not get frustrated
when I gotta wait.

In the past, you know
me not wanted to deal

with the frustration when I have

to go through certain processes,

that's when I you know
I almost go backwards.

You know I make a bad decision.

You know what I'm saying?

But failure's not an option
so I'm not going backwards.

I just don't wanna be
in nobody's trauma unit

or come back in no
institution as an inmate.

I ain't with it, man.

♪ Coming back and
forth to jail ♪

♪ I'm too used to this

♪ Being locked down in my cell

♪ I'm too used to this

♪ Holding pain behind my eyes

♪ I'm too used to this

♪ Yeah

♪ I'm too used to this

I'm 21 now.

I was born in 1995.

You know what I mean?

Like I just became
a man, you know.

Even though age does
not really make a man.

I've always had an
aggressive nature.

Started getting
locked up from age 17.

I would come home, get a job.

You know do good, do well,
and get locked back up,

you know due to my
character defects.

It's a very high
chance that you know,

someone like me can just
say oh I'm doing this

and doing that and when
the judge releases me,

I go out there and start
doing things again.

You know what I mean?

So I'm not saying
that I'm perfect.

I'm not saying that
I won't come back.

I'm saying that I
don't wanna come back.

♪ But I'm too tired
of struggling ♪

♪ My life so filled with tries

♪ And this time I'm gon' get
it 'cause I opened up my eyes ♪

- Anthony's a young guy.

He has his whole life ahead
of him and when he gets out,

he will either take
the path unknown,

which is this new
path of redemption,

or he will take the path that
he's become more used to.

To be honest with
you I don't know

which one society's gonna meet

because he's been really
going back and forth

with even just being
in the program itself.

I mean I was expecting
to get with him

and I didn't see
him for a long time.

It was because he
got in some type

of confrontation with a guard.

- Each time you break
a rule in the program,

you get what we call a sanction,

and Anthony got three sanctions
between yesterday and today

and so it's an automatic
24 hour lockdown,

but we haven't removed
him from the program yet

because he is trying.

- [Anthony] So just
because it's not lengthy,

does not mean I didn't
put my all into it.

Took me like four
hours to complete this

and actually be honest about it

'cause I know you weren't
gonna play no games with it.

- Alright, so read me the
awesome Anthony pieces.

- It says I am intelligent,
giving, athletic, a good dad.

I should've put a
decent dad and a cook.

- [Sarah] That's
some good stuff.

- Yeah, that's what I was.

Those are things that I was.

Things I wanna change.

Says I wanna change my
attitude, coming to jail,

committing crimes, lying,
fighting, doing drugs,

my angry personality,
and my quick response.

- Alright so tell
me why do you think

your reactions are
always like instant bad?

- I mean can work on it.

- Every time somebody
tells you something,

you automatically think
there's malicious,

bad intention to you.

Right?

And so your head
is already always

going at they're against me.

They're waiting for me to fail.

They hate me.

Instead of thinking how
can this actually help me?

You got a lot to lose right now.

You are going back to population
if anything else happens

and you understand when
you go back to population,

that cuts everything.

The program, education,
music, the recording studio.

Need to see progress
every single day.

I need to see a step forward
and not a step backwards.

- Y'all gonna have
to find some tools

to release the anxiety,
the depression, the anger.

All of that stuff.

So find something.

You got time like
to change your mind.

If you wanna do
what you always did,

then do what you always did,

and you gonna get the
same thing you always got.

Is it uncomfortable?

Hell yeah.

I'm not gonna tell you
that it's gon' be easy.

I'm not gon' tell you that.

It's not gon' be easy.

But when you lay down
in here at night.

When you lay down
in here at night,

you can't tell me you don't
think about the person you hurt.

You can't tell me you
don't think about it.

- It's a lot of stuff.

I just keep it in this box.

It's like my little safe haven.

I'm gonna save like
his last cigarette,

which is kinda crazy, right?

When he went back and I have
like all of his deodorant

and like things that
he gets in the mail.

Like silly you know
coupons for cigarettes.

It just would not feel
right to like throw it away.

Just different things.

Letters that he sent.

I get a lot.

I visit Garland every weekend.

I don't miss a weekend.

I can't imagine
missing a weekend.

We actually went to school
together since middle school.

So since like 13.

My family and my
friends were like

what the hell are you
thinking, you know?

And they just kept telling
me like when he got out,

that he would go back to
his old ways and all this

and I was really, really.

I'm not a naive person.

I was like really,
really sure of it all.

That he would be good
and he was changed.

You know, he swore
to me up and down

that he would never do drugs
again and I believed him.

I mean that's like
six and a half

almost seven years in prison.

Bam next thing you know.

Just a couple months out
and he was on drugs again.

And then I found out that he
was doing drugs in prison.

When Garland walks into a room,

he catches everyone's
attention with his smile,

with like brightness,
the shine in his eyes.

It's amazing.

When he's on drugs,
that's all gone.

It's just gone.

It's wiped from his face.

I couldn't have been
more wrong, I guess,

with thinking that he was
never gonna use drugs.

So I'm not for sure.

I'll never say I'm for
sure 'cause the worst thing

in the world was when
I was so for sure

and I was so wrong and
it's hard not knowing

when he's gonna be back.

And it could be a long time.

- Hey, there she is.

What's up?

You look beautiful.

- [Kelly] Thanks babe.

- Let me get a kiss.

What's that?

What you got on?

- [Kelly] What?

- No, is that that black and
white dress thing or is that...

- [Kelly] It's the one I
wore to court one time.

- Oh okay.

You look pretty, babe.

- [Kelly] Thanks.

You still didn't write
your grandparents, did you?

- No, I've been a bad boy.

I have not done that.

- [Kelly] You need to write 'em.

- I know.

Believe me, I know.

- Like one of the things I think

that's gonna is like
your biggest struggle

is like facing things
and like owning it.

You know what I mean?

It has you laugh.

Go figure.

That's the thing.

It's like sometimes I get
upset when you laugh stuff off

because when you were in prison

and you were like
telling me like,

oh you know I'm
totally different.

I knew then that you were like

how you were looking at
things was not realistic.

That's you know a big reason
you are on a video screen

in front of me right now.

- [Garland] Yeah.

- And thinking like you know
my head's where it needs to be.

You know a month later,
here we are again.

- [Garland] I know it's true
but I don't like hearing it.

I don't know.

- It's like it hurts
your pride or something.

- [Garland] I don't
know what it does.

- I know but it doesn't
give me like a lot of help

that like you are
getting what I'm saying.

- What should give you help
is I'm being honest about it.

I'm just letting you know.

I understand it to be true.

I'm gonna heed it.

That's all.

End of story.

Alright?

- Yup.

- [Garland] But you win.

- I'm not trying to win.

Alright enough okay seriously.

- I don't know.

I can't speculate
about tomorrow.

There it goes.

And you don't get a warning.

[gentle music]

♪ Tied of twisting
like a tornado ♪

♪ Shake off a shiver when
the cold wind blows ♪

♪ I've grown weary
of the pouring rain ♪

♪ But I heard a story
'bout a midnight train ♪

- In my experience,
people like a Garland,

who has that charisma
and that charm,

sometimes it can be
your greatest gift

and your greatest curse.

It's easy for you to fall back

thinking you got it under
control and you don't

and all of a sudden you're
right back to where you were.

♪ So come on train yeah, yeah

♪ Shine a light on me

- Somewhere in there.

That's a lower note.

- [Garland] Yeah.

- You're doing.

So hit that note.

♪ Come on train yeah, yeah

♪ Yeah, yeah

- Exactly.

♪ Shine a light on me

♪ Yeah, yeah

Something like that, man.

- [Speech] I like that.

I like that.

- Alright, let's try that.

♪ I heard a whisper
that it's glory bound ♪

♪ And there'll be a crowd
if the word gets round ♪

♪ But I step on out
in the dark of night ♪

♪ Sweet salvation by
a steam train line ♪

♪ If it's true what
the story say ♪

♪ Ghost train
carry me far away ♪

♪ Shine a light on me

♪ Shine a light on me

♪ I been dreaming of the
days that I'd be free ♪

♪ So won't you save
me from the struggle ♪

♪ 'Cause I been
waiting patiently ♪

♪ So come on train and
shine a light on me ♪

♪ So come on train and
shine a light on me ♪

♪ So come on train yeah, yeah

♪ Shine a light on me

♪ Yeah, yeah

- [Woman] Asparagus.

Have you had it before?

- I probably don't remember.

- Oh, it's really good.

Alright, so everybody get
a piece of fish, okay.

You can look.

Just squeeze it out like that.

You don't even have to touch it.

- REAL is an acronym
for recovering

from everyday
addictive lifestyles.

So, this recovery house,
it's a way of helping,

you know addicts kind of
just find a way in society.

- You got drug free zone
on the front of the house.

So it attracts a lot of people.

You always have to be mindful

and you always have to be
vigilant about things, right?

There's gonna be people trying
to get you off of your game

and it's almost
like a competition.

It's like oh Antonio's clean?

Who's the first one out
here who can get him high?

Who's the first one
that can do this?

So y'all need to be on
your game at all times.

- I can't lie, man.

I'm a little nervous about
getting out, you know.

A little nervous, you know.

Anxious.

A little anxiety there as well.

Just because you know
I've already got messages

on my Facebook where people
who knew me from my past,

you know asking me
different things like yo.

You still smoking?

Do you know where
to smoke, you know?

Like little stupid
shit like that.

Streets calling
me, man, you know.

My old life is just calling me.

- [Man] Hey.

[upbeat music]

Okay we see you, baby.

We see you.

- Yeah.

This what it is, man.

My family, man.

How you doing, man?

Happy Mother's Day.

I'm really just trying to
find a job and just stay free.

You know what I mean?

Stay out the way.

I just found out
you know the guy

who brought me into the game,

you know his brother back there?

- That brought
you into the game?

- Yeah, his brother
back there, Face.

- Okay.

- Yeah, so it's kinda
like I see the fight

because I didn't expect that.

- Yeah, but there's certain
things that you can do yourself

to remove yourself
from somebody.

Like removing that tattoo.

- That's how real it is.

If he was to see me
getting this removed,

it could possibly spiral
into something else.

- There gonna be obstacles,
but you can overcome that.

Look at the obstacles
you've overcome.

You're still here.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- This is the first Mother's Day

that I've shared with
you and Erica together

in what maybe eight years?

- [Teddy] I thought it was
five so that's even worse.

I'm sorry, baby.

- Yeah.

- [Teddy] I'm sorry.

- [Mother] Don't let
it happen anymore.

- [Teddy] I'm sorry, baby.

- He's here to tell his story.

So make what you
been through count.

[gentle music]

This base right here is a
lot of things I collected

as an interior designer and
have like a eclectic taste.

[gentle music]

This is visiting Teddy in.

I don't remember what facility
this was but this is 2006.

This is my brother, myself.

Teddy and Erica, his sister.

He's been in
psychiatric facilities

maybe eight, nine
times for the earliest

when he was maybe like nine.

He was suicidal and
homicidal at nine.

He was going to therapy.

We went to family counseling.

In one of the
counseling sessions,

it came out that their
father was abusing him

and I had no knowledge
because he was doing it

when I wasn't there and
he was threatening them.

If you tell your mom,
then I'm gonna kill you,

your sister, and your mom.

So he had started
self-medicating I guess like 12.

His own father got him
started smoking crack

and selling drugs.

You know the good that's
in a person that you love

and this other person you
don't know who they really are,

what they're capable of.

I've had like fear of safety.

When your child steals from you

and you give them all
that you can give 'em

and you try to always
be there, it hurts.

So I know he has
greatness in him,

but he also has
demons in him, too.

This is Teddy's little puppet
that my mother bought for him

when I first gave birth to him.

Teddy was maybe a
couple hours old.

His name is Teddy as well
and I've kept him 37 years.

I've moved 100 times but I
still have that teddy bear.

[piano music]

- Just listening.

[piano music]

So many things
have been revealed

over these last few days for me.

Teddy's own father started
him off selling crack.

De'vonte's whole
family selling drugs

and just how easy it
is to get caught up.

What are these generational
curses that we carry?

I didn't come from a
family that sold drugs,

but what would I
have been if I came

from that type of reality?

What choices would I have made?

I did come from a
family where my dad

was unfaithful to my
mom and I ended up

imitating those very things
early in my marriage.

I have to live with
the consequences of
cheating on my wife.

I have to live with it.

She has to live with that.

But if I had to sit in a cell

for a decision I
made 20 years ago,

could I bare that weight?

Could I bare the
weight of that mistake?

I hear this a lot from
the people in here.

Yo, I made a bad decision.

Not to mention
when they get out,

they still have a stain on them.

That doesn't feel right either.

So on many levels it just
feels like an injustice.

- Wind blowing.

But yeah this the
store right here

I got the eight
years for robbing.

When I was 20 years old,
I made a bad decision

in the store man and then it's
altered the course of my life

and my children, my family.

That's a long time
to be locked, man.

It's a long time
to be locked up.

Richmond's finest.

It go back to the power
of decisions, man.

Like you make the wrong
choice, it's over.

[gentle music]

- Found out that Anthony
was locked in this morning

and I was concerned because
we already talked about

helping him several times.

He's had several
different opportunities

make a change in his behavior
and now he's been disruptive.

This has been a
constant thing with him.

We been pretty much you
know trying to support him,

you know staff wide for awhile.

We have to do something
pretty decisive.

- I'm trying to come
out to go to the studio

and the deputy is just like
no, you're not on the list,

and I'm just like who
are you talking to, bruh?

In just that right there can
be considered as aggressive.

It's nothing that I can
do and I don't get caught.

- 24 sanctions.

Look at me.

Turn the other cheek.

Walk away.

Shut your mouth.

Got to pick it up.

I can't keep giving
you these passes.

This is it.

If you're gonna stay in
the program right now,

you're gonna get it together

'cause if you go
downstairs to population,

you're gonna be eaten up and
you are come out way worse.

That's no question.

[upbeat music]

♪ It's the truth

♪ Yeah I'm from the dungeon

♪ Where things happen
for no reason ♪

♪ People getting high
as ever and OD'ing ♪

♪ They overseeing
they own demons ♪

♪ And then they start crying
when they lungs stop breathing ♪

♪ Our mind's bleeding

- He's a good kid but he's got

a self-defense
mechanism built up.

He's crushed from things
that haven't gone his way

and he's had to be faithful

without having a lot
of proof of his worth.

♪ God take the lead
so I can follow ♪

♪ Just so I can make
it 'til tomorrow huh ♪

♪ Take the lead
so I can follow ♪

♪ Just so I can make
it 'til tomorrow huh ♪

- There's a lyric that he
said that hit me like a rock.

Time is like a deadly weapon

that's just waiting
to mess you up.

♪ Listen sometimes I
think it's for a reason ♪

♪ But I swear it ain't

♪ I can't even
afford to breath ♪

♪ Can't afford to think

♪ Yeah

♪ Or I might just
lose a second ♪

♪ 'Cause honestly to me time
is just a deadly weapon ♪

♪ Waiting for you to slip up

♪ Waiting for you to give up

♪ The pain will never leave

♪ 'Cause it's trained
with your dilemma ♪

♪ And understand a bubbly
saint can turn to a sinner ♪

♪ Plus everybody's struggling

♪ Go 'head and cry me a river

- Time for most
of us is the thing

that equalizes all
of our wrongdoings.

It makes everything alright.

Time, you know we'll
have more time.

I can get it straight later.

He didn't have that
way of thinking.

He felt like if
I have more time,

that's more chance
that I'll mess it up.

[upbeat music]

- You know he got more
chances than probably anybody,

but there's just a point in time

when we had to put down our foot

and remove him from the program.

So we transferred him back
downstairs into population.

[upbeat music]

None of you all are
owed the REAL program.

You're not owed the
recording studio.

You are owed two meals a day
and one hour of rec a week.

That's it.

That is the only thing by law
that any of y'all are owed.

You are still in custody.

You are still an inmate
and there are still rules.

Whether you like it or not,
whether it's deserved or not.

♪ Tired of recidivism

♪ I'm tired of being
in the system ♪

♪ Tired of recidivism

♪ I'm tired of being
in the system ♪

♪ Tired of recidivism

♪ I'm tired of being
in the system ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ I really should've listened

♪ Dead in the water

♪ I went wrong

♪ I been drifting way too long

I wonder sometimes
why I'm still.

I'm just drawn to these things
that I'm not supposed to do.

♪ But there's a change
in the weather coming ♪

♪ The sunset's red

♪ Two fronts collide
inside of my head ♪

I think I just nurtured
this extreme selfishness.

I wish I could blame other
people with my upbringing,

but there's nobody
to blame but me.

♪ Like a draft
through a window ♪

♪ You gotta filter
through the cracks ♪

I just liked the way that a
shot of dope felt that much

that I was able to block out
what it did to anybody else.

♪ I'm down here in the
bed rock on my back ♪

Not being able to go to my
little brother's wedding.

He sent me a picture
of the engagement ring

that he was gonna give his wife

and he was like you're the
first person I've told.

And he was like I'm gonna wait.

This is crazy.

I don't think I've ever cried,

but he couldn't wait you know.

So they had the wedding.

[guitar music]

Things that you missed
that you can't get back,

you just try to forgive
yourself for it,

but you don't really ever.

♪ I know I'm getting stronger

♪ And I can't wait much longer

♪ I ain't got no time to waste

♪ Freedom wind blow me away

♪ I don't feel so free today

♪ And I know that
it won't be long ♪

♪ 'Til I sail again

♪ I'm just waiting
on ya freedom wind ♪

Hey everybody, I'm Garland.

- [Group] Hey Garland.

- As a young man
in his 20s faced

with the better part
of a decade in prison,

I said I'm gonna read
a bunch of books,

I'm gonna get fully tattooed,

and I'm gonna lift a bunch of
weights and I'm gonna get big,

and I did those three things,

and I was stuck in
that convict mentality,

like I was some kind
of outlaw or something.

People call me Truck.

And I built this whole
facade around that.

You know like my mom named me
Garland Thomas Carr, you know,

and she gave me that
name for a reason.

You know and some people
still call me Truck.

You do it because
that's how you met me,

but don't do that
anymore please.

It took me 34 years
to be the person

that I don't wanna be anymore.

You know what I mean?

And I know that there
are much better things

out there for me and
I want those things.

So I'm willing to do whatever
I gotta do to get 'em.

Thanks for letting me share.

[audience clapping]

- [Group] Grant the serenity

to accept the things
I cannot change,

the courage to change the
things I can and the wisdom.

- [Man] Can you open
the door, please?

- I'm getting out
and I'm going home.

My lawyer came to
see me and told me

that the Commonwealth said that
my case is too complicated.

They don't feel
like dealing with it

and they'll be willing
to give me time served.

- Wow.

Okay so that expedites
things a lot.

- I do need some help.

I don't have any housing.

My family ain't accepting me.

The family that I do have
still live in the projects

and the ones that
would might accept me,

I don't even wanna go there.

It's just straight
in the projects.

I might as well go back and
pick up a gun and some drugs.

Might as well.

I really don't have no idea
what is exactly gonna happen

when I walk out of the door.

You know, all I literally know
is I'm going down that street

to the 14th Street
Bridge, crossing it,

and from there I don't know.

- Everything they told
us was some bullshit.

I couldn't even
get a fucking job.

I'm going everywhere
trying to get jobs, man,

and can't get no job.

That shit stressed
me the fuck out, man,

and I started fucking
getting high, man.

Driving and I don't got
no fucking license, man.

I'm drunk, man.

I don't know what to do, man.

I ain't trying to go back, man,

but they trying to send me back.

They drug me.

You know violence and now I got
this fucking driving charge.

- [Teddy] Come here, homie.

- Shit hurt me.

- I'ma see you, man.

I'ma see you before
I leave, man.

- That shit hurt, man.

I ain't trying to go back
in here with that shit, man.

Ain't nobody helping me, man.

- You know, man.

Love you bro, man.

Take your time over here.

I was in prison with him.

He just did 32 years straight.

He came home and that's.

That's how real it is.

Up until this point of my life,

the only thing I did good
that I did a lot of was raw

and now I realize I got
a gift to make music.

So it kind of fuels
me that maybe somebody

may hear the song and
it may inspire them

to at least look
at life different.

- Here it go.

One, two.

♪ To the gang banger
that's cripping ♪

♪ To the young black
girl stripping ♪

♪ But she stripping
for tuition ♪

♪ Don't pass
judgment, uplift 'em ♪

♪ Single mother got evicted

♪ Had a cashier job at Wendy's

♪ Now she four
bedroom house living ♪

♪ Kept her faith
and her ambition ♪

♪ You can be Muslim
or Christian ♪

♪ It don't make a difference

♪ Join your hands and lift 'em

♪ 'Cause God don't
like division ♪

♪ See the vision,
feed the children ♪

♪ 'Cause to raise
'em take a village ♪

♪ Educate 'em 'bout the system

♪ That's designed to
keep 'em prisoned ♪

♪ We the healing

- Wow bro.

That's nice.

Okay so now.

That's all the verses?

- Yup.

All we need is the chorus.

- Now we got the chorus.

Do you hear children
singing it or how do you...

- See that's what I...

- [Speech] I hear
children personally.

- I heard children, too.

- You know I feel
like that's the thing.

- I heard children, too, man.

- Like a chorus of children.

You know what I'm saying, dog?

Aw that'll be crazy.

♪ God saved me and
that's my story ♪

- [Speech] Yeah, yeah.

♪ Inspire me

♪ God saved me and
that's my story ♪

- People see Teddy as an
example of their salvation.

He sees there's a way out.

And now he's at a
place in his life

where he has this faith
to try to overcome

and the question is is he
gonna be able to walk on water?

Is he gonna be able
to walk on water

on top of all of those
waves, all of that reality?

Is he gonna be able to stand

on top of it all
and actually walk?

- Hey baby.

You running.

You run from me.

[gentle music]

You coming?

Come on.

Come over here.

You ready?

Oh, I got you, girl.

You been drinking?

She busy.

[gentle music]

Just the breeze.

Just feeling the breeze,
enjoying the breeze.

Thinking about when I was in
prison looking out the window.

Wishing I could feel it.

Just peaceful.

[gentle music]

You know to hear kids
laughing and playing.

You know to hear life.

[gentle music]

[phone ringing]

- [Loretta] Hello.

- [Sarah] Hey
Loretta, it's Sarah.

How you doing?

- [Loretta] I'm hanging in here.

- So what do you
think is going on?

Yeah.

I would not give up calling him

because you never know
when you're calling

at the right time.

You never know when he
might pick up, you know?

Ask him what he
is willing to do.

Don't tell him what
to do but ask him,

what are you willing to do?

Are you willing to get help?

[gentle music]

- He had gotten a job and
actually his first day

was supposed to be yesterday.

So I went out and I bought
a backpack and thermal

so when he ride to work
you know he'll have that,

but I couldn't reach
him but that's strange

because I been talking
to him everyday

and he finally did respond
and he was apologetic.

He was feeling at a low place

and he was saying
that he just couldn't

go on like this anymore.

He said he just
wanted to give up.

I told him that I loved him.

I asked him was he safe.

Picked him up and we went
straight to the hospital.

Last night, he was
in such turmoil

that he just started

just beating with his
fists on the sofa.

I'm tired of going through
these psychiatric hospitals

and I said when you
harboring something,

you holding stuff in.

You gotta speak your truth.

That's what gonna free you.

Whatever's making you
the root of your anger,

your anguish, speak
it, and then let it go.

♪ Lock a dog in a cage
and mistreat 'em ♪

♪ Then what you think gon'
happen once you release 'em ♪

♪ Yeah how much more,
we're human being ♪

♪ And this can't be
true what I'm seeing ♪

♪ But it is and
it is what it is ♪

♪ And they
miseducating our kids ♪

♪ It's time that we
face all our fears ♪

♪ And erase all our tears

♪ And boycott the
Malt liquor beers ♪

♪ You won't sell that
Malt liquor here ♪

♪ Old English was a slave ship

♪ We getting minimized, dying
of genocide in the same sip ♪

♪ We lost one

- [Man] Let me get your
shoes and your jumper.

Thank you, sir.

- [Sarah] Hey
Charlie, it's Sarah.

So do you know a guy
that was in the program.

Anthony Johnston?

- [Charlie] No, I mean.

- Okay well basically
he's had a fucked up life.

He hasn't earned
the privilege to go

to the REAL house to be honest,

but he like he literally
has nowhere to go.

He's gonna be homeless
when he gets out.

He has nowhere to go.

So I told him he has one chance

and if he blows it,
he's done, he's out,

and he will sleep
on the streets.

End of story.

- Up until 20 minutes
ago I wasn't sure

if I was gonna have
a place to stay,

but Sarah's giving
me an opportunity

and I know that that's God.

Nothing but God.

I'm appreciative of that.

It's hot outside?

- [Man] Yes.

- It is?

- What the fuck?

What am I doing?

Freedom.

Damn, I don't need
this damn hat.

Know that much.

Got damn.

Home sweet home.

Some dirt in my mouth.

- You can put that
in the backseat.

Is there enough room?

- [Anthony] Yes
ma'am, soccer mom.

- [Sarah] Just put
it right there.

That's fine.

- I really appreciate
all the help

you've helped me
with though, Sarah.

I just wanna tell you
that because I feel like

you saw something
in me or something

that no one has ever
seen anything in me.

All I've done is destroy.

Take and destroy.

Steal and destroy.

Steal and destroy.

You know what I mean?

Burn bridges.

That's all I've done.

- [Sarah] You're
gonna make mistakes.

You just have to
be honest with me

and the people in the house,

so that we can you
get through it.

- I knock right?

- [Sarah] No, this
is your house.

- They just leave the door open.

- [Sarah] Well I mean, I
told him we were coming so.

Hello?

Hello?

- Family, he's home.

- [Sarah] And then make a
list of like the clothes

and sizes that you
need and text it to me.

You or Charlie text it to me.

Okay.

- God, this is freaky.

Real bed.

- [Man] Cut the AC on,
ma'am, push please?

- [Sarah] I'd be happy to.

- [Man] Thank you.

- Alright so read today
or tonight some time

all of the rules.

Your house community
meeting every week.

Your house family
meal on Sundays.

The classes, alumni
meetings, and phase work.

- Yeah, pretty much
don't be in a rush

'cause that's what guys
do when they get out.

They try to catch up.

Don't try to catch up.

Blend in.

You seen the house, room by now.

The program comes first.

- I'm scared a little bit.

Scared of might doing drugs.

I'm scared of reality.

Reality, man.

That's what I'm scared of.

Reality.

- Two things are happening.

I got court and I turn 35.

It is my birthday.

35.

Supposed to be a jury trial,

but I am just gonna plead
guilty because I'm guilty.

We're just gonna move to
go through a sentencing.

When I just think
about going in there

and being like look
man, I'm sorry.

You know what I mean?

I get a better feeling.

You know what I mean?

I'm asking for mercy.

[group humming]

♪ Concrete barriers
cold in grave ♪

♪ Good Lord carry my soul away

♪ Rage and pain
bearing down on me ♪

♪ Been so long
since I been free ♪

♪ I wanna lay my burdens down

[group humming]

- It could be anywhere
from two and a half

to like eight years.

I mean, I'm optimistic
even about the outcome.

If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

You know what I mean?

But I don't think it's
gonna be all that bad.

- I can't focus on anything.

It's just nerveracking.

It's extremely nerveracking.

Try to zone it out and act
like it's not bothering me,

but inside it's like
slowly killing me.

Like having a cancer
and not even knowing.

You know you used to always
kind of wanna like avoid reality

and you know kind of
tiptoe around things,

but the fact that he chose
himself to plead guilty.

Nobody swayed him.

His lawyer didn't sway him.

I didn't sway him.

I think that says a lot
about where he's at mentally

and I think that
shows a lot of growth.

I just hope he
doesn't regret that.

[gentle music]

- You know you get the
right of allocution.

You get to say something.

You get to speak
up for yourself.

I would just say when I came
home from prison in 2015,

I didn't give myself a chance.

I was using drugs the
whole time I was in prison.

I kept using 'em when I got out.

It wasn't long before I
committed a few more crimes.

It looks like I got a pattern

and by all rights I
could be sent back

to prison for a long time.

[gentle music]

I can't say like I'm
not supposed to be here.

Like this isn't.

It's not that.

It's that I know I
have something more
to offer the world.

I know I do.

And this is the
first time I've ever

really even thought like that.

[gentle music]

So you know please don't lock
me up and throw away the key.

- Seven years and six months.

Altogether it's like.

I don't know.

It's a long time.

It's a long time.

They felt like he had already
had too many opportunities

and took advantage of 'em.

Yeah.

It's a long time.

[group humming]

♪ If I could go back
to when I was young ♪

♪ I'd undo the
things I've done. ♪

♪ And give myself a
good piece of advice ♪

♪ Listen now son you
better think twice ♪

♪ I wanna lay my burdens down

- I do believe in redemption
with everybody, with anybody.

No matter what they've done.

It's very comfortable to believe

that everyone who goes to jail,
that's where they're going,

and now we've rid ourselves
of that particular pill,

but if they're not
actually being reformed,

then what's the point?

Is it just to move
people out the way?

When we don't reform them,

we don't understand
what we're missing.

♪ It's plain to see
I'm singing now ♪

♪ But if I could turn
this ship around ♪

- [Speech] Garland's to me
a great example of that.

♪ Ain't no win to
the lengths I'd go ♪

- [Speech] A superstar
that may never be

because he's behind bars.

♪ Sweet chariots
don't swing this low ♪

♪ I wanna lay my burdens down

♪ Lord I got to lay it down

♪ I wanna lay my burdens down

♪ No I can't carry it all

♪ I wanna lay my burdens down

♪ Lord I'm tired

♪ I wanna lay my burdens down

♪ I wanna lay my

♪ Burdens

♪ Down, down, down,
down, down, down, down ♪

[group clapping]

- [Garland] Thank you very much.

- Alright, this
is your probation.

This form right here and
we'll get you in release.

You got 30 cents petty cash.

That's what's left.

Alright.

You got all your property.

You got your boots,
shoes, laces, everything.

- [Crystal] He's out.

- [De'vonte] Hey bro.

Love you too, bro.

- How do you feel?

- It feels good.

- I mean to be like spring
but you know you serve...

- It's kinda like it doesn't
really seem realistic yet.

- Mike is on the phone.

Mike, D came home today.

- [De'vonte] I don't really
have a whole lot of time

to kind of kick it now.

- [Man] Oh you don't.

- [Mike] Hey welcome home, man.

- What's up, Mike?

Thanks man.

How you doing?

- [Mike] Doing good.

- [De'vonte] They
told me like don't try

to do everything at once
'cause that could lead me back

to my old lifestyle.

- [Mike] You know,
just stay positive.

If a motherfucker ain't
doing what you trying to do,

you gotta leave those
people alone, man.

- Yeah, I just can't really
say anything against that

'cause I feel like I'm on
that same mindset right now.

You know?

And this isn't no program talk.

I mean this to my heart like.

I'm ready to break that cycle.

So yeah, from here on out,
man, I'ma live by that.

Try my best to get
to where I wanna be.

- [Mike] It's time
to be selfish.

You got to be selfish.

- [Crystal] So you
gotta go back right now?

- Pretty much.

- I guess you so
happy to be free.

- I just wanna kind of just
do something I never did

to get something I
never had, you know,

and that's a good
life, you know.

[engine revving]

[soft music]

This is day one.

This is day one.

♪ The world counted me out

♪ Thinking I'm just
another black man ♪

♪ Looking for just
another handout ♪

♪ I'm a prove 'em
wrong and succeed ♪

♪ The power lies in me to be

♪ What my son needs
me to be as a father ♪

♪ It's time to build it
before your life is over ♪

♪ With so many people just
fighting to stay sober ♪

♪ They're slaves to a drug

♪ Their lives are
now roller coasters ♪

♪ Their lives are
now roller coasters ♪

♪ So listen to these words

♪ When you feeling
like life is over ♪

♪ I said listen to these words

♪ When you feeling like
life is over hold up ♪

[gentle music]

- There's a scripture
in the Bible.

It says when an unclean
spirit leaves a man,

it goes around seeking rest
and when it finds none,

it goes back to the
house that it came out of

and they dwell there
and the end is worse.

Well I ended up using and I
said man I need to get away.

I need to be away from that.

I came here.

This is where I'm
living at right now.

Everything I own is
under that blanket.

People on the outside
that's looking

at you destroy yourself, to
them it don't make no sense.

Like why would he do that?

Why would he?

But to the addict,
it makes sense.

It's like I'm so
used to a system

and when I get in the
world I don't know

how to feel normal.

I'm just gonna go through
what I gotta go through.

It's part of my testimony.

You know?

[gentle music]

- I spent a lot
of time in prayer

for Teddy, for Garland, for
Anthony, and for De'vonte,

and I've thought a lot
about what can I do further?

How can I reach these brothers?

It's some kids in here.

Hi, how you guys doing?

Good.

- [Woman] That's Mister Speech.

- [Speech] Hi my name is Speech.

This is my house.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Hi, how are you?

Can I shake your hand?

- Sure.

- [Speech] How you doing?

- All my little ones
in the front okay.

Repeat after me.

♪ La

♪ La

- [Woman] Stop.

Take a deep breath.

- [Speech] When I started
this, I really had no clue

what was gonna happen.

♪ La, la, la, la, la

- [Woman] Very good.

- But as I've gotten into this,

I realized that
this is way bigger

than what I initially thought
and I'm making an album.

People are gonna have a chance
to hear these recordings.

Okay, so do you guys know

what this project
is about already?

- [Kids] No.

- So I went to
Richmond, Virginia.

I met a lot of very
amazing people there

and they were inmates and
one artist that I met,

his name is Teddy Kane
and Teddy Kane I mean,

he's had a very hard
life in many ways.

Part of his dream
was to have you guys,

the future, sing this song.

And the words you're
gonna sing are,

this is my pain, my glory.

Inspire me.

God saved me.

This is my story.

Inspire me.

♪ This is my pain, my glory

♪ Inspire me

♪ God saved me,
that's my story ♪

♪ Inspire me

- [Speech] This music
is capturing this moment

in time in our country.

♪ This is my pain, my glory

- These are men that
are behind bars,

but they still have voices.

There's something there that
needs to be said to the world.

And I wanna help
to bring that out.

- You can do this.

We got this.

- I wrote this to inspire.

I pray that it do.

♪ I wrote this to inspire
if you tired of the lying ♪

♪ And the bias
and the violence ♪

♪ Gotta stand on
top of that giant ♪

♪ Like King David and Goliath

♪ For the fellas
that can't get hire ♪

♪ Ever since Obama
left the White House ♪

♪ Seem like the White
House done got whiter ♪

♪ In the air where we
hold our lighters ♪

♪ For the convicts
locked on Rikers ♪

♪ And the lifers

♪ And they mama that's
hooked on crack ♪

♪ Selling her kid diapers

♪ To the young
black man indicted ♪

♪ Could've been a draft
pick for the Vikings ♪

♪ Got pulled over, he
ain't gotta license ♪

♪ Caught with some crack
in a scale and a rifle ♪

♪ Time never wasted,
mind elevated ♪

♪ Raised in the 80s,
could've went crazy ♪

♪ But God showed favor,
your soul he can save it ♪

♪ Baby with a baby,
you can still make it ♪

♪ Child support with EBT

♪ Raise your kids on BET

♪ Stack their paychecks
week to week ♪

♪ Now ain't no gunshots
when they sleeping ♪

♪ Now I know God watch
over me, over me, over me ♪

♪ Inspire me

♪ God saved me, this my story

♪ Inspire me

♪ This is my pain, my glory

♪ Inspire me

♪ God saved me, this my story

♪ Inspire me

♪ To the gang banger
that's cripping ♪

♪ To the young black
girls stripping ♪

♪ But she stripping
for tuition ♪

♪ Don't pass
judgment, uplift 'em ♪

♪ Single mother got evicted

♪ Had a cashier job at Wendy's

♪ Now she four
bedroom house living ♪

♪ Kept her faith
and her ambition ♪

♪ You can be Muslim
or Christian ♪

♪ It don't make a difference

♪ Join your hands and lift 'em

♪ 'Cause God don't
like division ♪

♪ See the vision,
feed the children ♪

♪ 'Cause to raise
'em take a village ♪

♪ Educate 'em 'bout the system

♪ That's the designed
to keep 'em prisoned ♪

♪ We the healing

♪ This is my pain, my glory

♪ Inspire me

♪ God saved me, this my story

♪ Inspire me

♪ This is my pain, my glory

♪ Inspire me

♪ God saved me, this my story

♪ Inspire me

♪ Oh

♪ Oh

♪ Oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh

♪ Oh, oh

♪ Oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, this is my
pain, my glory ♪

♪ Inspire me

♪ Oh, God saved
me, this my story ♪

♪ Inspire me

[bright music]

♪ Always stopped by the police

♪ Treated like a foreign enemy

♪ The visible barrier,
segregated areas ♪

♪ Deep seated anger,
spoon fed hatred ♪

♪ Walking time bombs
up in my slums ♪

♪ No respect is given
so dudes is taken some ♪

♪ 400 years and we
shall overcome ♪

♪ There's no wonder that many
brothers haven't overcame ♪

♪ Beasts, animals
in the streets ♪

♪ Police turning up major heat

♪ Deferred wishes, goods
with no assistance ♪

♪ Girls become women,
women become bitches ♪

♪ Broke men with
young boy fixes ♪

♪ Become a dependent
on an evil system ♪

♪ At least 150 revolts planned

♪ All was squelched by some
black snitches trauma ♪

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Living everyday in trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Yeah

♪ Whatever you say to me

♪ You don't know, you don't
know, you don't know ♪

♪ Whatever you think
you know about me ♪

♪ You don't know, you don't
know, you don't know ♪

♪ Whatever they're
saying in the papers ♪

♪ You don't know, you don't
know, you don't know ♪

♪ If whatever they
say is really true ♪

♪ You don't know, you don't
know, you don't know ♪

♪ Trauma

♪ America home of the free

♪ Except that
didn't include me ♪

♪ Exceptionalism to
describe this system ♪

♪ The truly exceptional
are the ones resisting ♪

♪ Middle passage,
millions transition ♪

♪ Those that arrive wish
they had died swimming ♪

♪ To survive Africans killed
the pride within 'em ♪

♪ Now they wanna ask
us where is our pride ♪

♪ Trauma

♪ How can I begin to describe

♪ What it feels like
to be dead alive ♪

♪ And every time we strive
then we still strive ♪

♪ Self-sufficiency for
us is to them a crime ♪

♪ Black Wall Street,
Rosewood huh ♪

♪ Bill Cosby and
Michael Jackson huh ♪

♪ Cops buy burgers for
white mass murderers ♪

♪ No protection for us

♪ No one serving us

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Living everyday in trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Trauma

♪ Yeah

♪ Whatever you say to me

♪ You don't know, you don't
know, you don't know ♪

♪ Whatever you think you know

♪ You don't know, you don't
know, you don't know ♪

♪ Whatever they're
saying in the papers ♪

♪ You don't know, you don't
know, you don't know ♪