11 Harrowhouse (1974) - full transcript

My name is Chesser,

H.R. Chesser.

I was from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

I lived in New York, and I came to London

About 6 times every year to buy diamonds

from the world's largest diamond exchange,

which is located here on Harrowhouse Street,

11 Harrowhouse,

A place which actually, for reasons you'll see, I hated.

This is a story about something very unusual

that happened to me on one of those trips,



My last trip to 11 Harrowhouse.

I was reasonably honest.

I cheated as much as I could on my income tax,

But, aside from that, was a relatively decent guy

as guys go.

I'd never done anything really seriously wrong,

But then again, I was never given the opportunity.

Captain Shelly has been in communication

with ground control, doctor.

Customs and immigration

have been advised of the emergency.

There shouldn't be much delay.

Thank you, miss.

You've been very helpful.



I used to come on a plane like this,

but I would never have tried anything

like what these guys are doing.

It's not that I never thought of it.

Like most people, I thought about doing a lot of things

and always found a way not to.

Never had a strong desire to be rich or famous.

Maybe I didn't care about it, or maybe I was just waiting

for some really good reason to come along.

In any case, at that time,

I thought of myself as a truly dedicated spectator.

Ha ha ha!
Feeling better?

Come on. Open up.
Let's have a look.

I'd say that establishes the fact

that there's at least one way to beat the system.

A lot of people don't get along too well

with the folks at 11 Harrowhouse.

Mr. Meecham.

Morning, Coglin.

Morning, sir.

About that little matter,

it's all been taken care of.

Well done, Coglin.

Morning, mr. Meecham.

Morning, Miller.

Good morning, mr. Meecham.

Morning, Fitzmaurice.

I always stayed pretty much to myself

and this very pretty lady here.

I generally met her in London.

I always believed that loved ones should travel separately.

Good afternoon, sir.

Chesser will be in at 3:00.

I have his packet, sir.
It was ready yesterday.

Thin the value by 20%.

Keep the price the same.

Sir?

Tardiness is to be discouraged, Watts,

before it becomes a habit.

Yes, sir.

We really can't have people like Chesser telling us,

not a salesperson like Chesser.

We must teach him that nothing comes

to those who keep us waiting.

His father was such a reliable man.

He always knew his place.

Yes, sir.
Of course, sir.

That's me there.

I don't know if it's obvious, but I'm pretty uncomfortable.

It's actually my normal state,

but in this place, it's a lot worse.

We've never had a lot to say to each other.

Yes, certainly, whatever you wish.

I'm sure Meecham will be looking after you.

Oh, I can always count on that.

It's been a pleasure, as always.

Whatever you shall require, of course, sir.

and I'm counting on that case of sweet sherry.

You won't let me down.
I'm expecting it tonight.

Uh-Huh.

They love me here.

Take care of that cold.

We want you to keep fit.

I'm very well.
It's all mental.

You keep yourself bundled up in case you're wrong.

Good to have seen you, sir Harold.

My pleasure, sir.

Good-Bye.
Good-Bye.

I'll see to all that, sir,

and, sir, our current reports

are beyond our expectations.

Excellent.

The report will be on your desk this afternoon, sir.

Good.

Remarkable man, the chairman.

You know sir Harold, of course.

No.
Oh. What a pity.

Shall we go upstairs?

11 Harrowhouse is not

the kind of place you want to hang out.

Your father was such a punctual,

reliable man.

I buy these diamonds and sell them

for a decent profit to dealers in New York

who sell them for a huge profit

to some bright but a lot of mostly silly people.

Size of the packet they sell you

depends on how important you are.

I'm getting to be a really little guy.

?12,000.
That's $30,000, 5,000 too much.

I trust you're satisfied.

Of course.

Splendid.

Mr. Watts will complete the transaction,

If you'll excuse me.

?12,000.

Regular fire sale.

I'm sorry, sir?

Steal, a real steal.

Oh, yes. Yes, sir.

Well... I'm sorry, sir.

Why'd you get up?
It's freezing.

I got hungry.

You could've asked me if I was hungry.

I wanted it all for myself.

I drove up, you know?

What time?
Very fast.

Mm-Hmm.

Are you going to eat that now?

No.
Why not?

You come when they call you.

You buy what they give you.

You can't question them

Or even look the wrong way,

and you sell it for what?

Car fare.

My money is your money.

If you have to be humiliated,

be humiliated with me.

At least I love you.

Certainly is complicated in your mind, isn't it?

What'll we do, then?

This wasone of the few times in my life

I had a plan.

Do you know what I dreamed today?

Wait a minute.
Is this long?

No. Just fascinating.

Am I in it?

I said it was fascinating.

So there was a Givenchy model

with a very long neck.

She thought she was Marie Antoinette.

She was sucking cough drops.

You were in the other bed

eating peanut butter sandwiches.

That man has been following us.

How could he be?
He's in front of us.

I hope you've got a witty line

if he shoots us.

What do you think he wants?

I'll go ask him.

This, I really need,

but you never want to look like a coward right out in the open.

What do you want?
You following us?

What's that, a summons?

I don't have to take that, you know?

Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey!
Yeah. Right.

Yeah. That's me, all right.

Lucky for him he let me go.

In another minute, I would've had him.

Are you all right?
Yeah.

Well, what was that?

That was a bully.

I think you should've slugged him.

Right.

That could be a bomb, you know?

You open it.

My hero.

It's a letter.

Could've just mailed it.

It's probably important.

"Dear mr. Chesser, I would like

"to see you regarding a business matter.

"My man will call for you at your hotel

"tomorrow at 10 a.m.

Clyde Massey."

He's stations them at regular intervals

just in case any of his cars should run out of gas.

If I seem quiet, it's because

the driver is the same guy who grabbed me by the neck,

and it still hurts, so I decided to be very nice

and give no hint of being

the smart-ass I can be on occasion.

Must be a long way.

I was sure interested to see

what this guy Massey wanted with me,

but I wasn't too crazy about how he had his message delivered.

Getting his driver to twist my neck like that

instead of a simple phone call seemed a little strange to me,

but because he was one of the richest guys in the country,

I was gonna let it go.

I don't like that about myself,

but I was gonna let it go, at least for now.

To have a place like this,

you've got to start with it or get it.

In either case, you got to know or be a really big crook,

which is what this guy Massey is.

The world knows him as an industrialist

and a famous war hero...

but he's a big crook.

Nice room for a dance.

Cozy.

I was wondering if he was gonna

have one of his dogs bite me

a s another strange form of communication.

That. That one.
That's my boy.

Ah, mr. Chesser...
Hello.

How kind of you to come

at such short notice.

Pet him.
He'll like you.

That's all right.
This is Maren.

Hello.

Yes. Of course.

Those are splendid dogs.

You getting them ready for a show?

That was a show.

But all the dogs are yours, aren't they?

Certainly.

And you were the only judge.

I avoid competition when it comes

to such unimportant things.

It was so good of you to come here today

to spend this lovely time with me.

I seldom see attractive people anymore.

I find they're a dying race.

Would you care for more champagne?

No, thank you.
No.

No? Ah.
Do you play?

No. I don't.

I don't play anymore,

except I take a few swings before lunch.

I find that it stretches the body.

Wealthy guys can get guys like me

to stand around and watch this stuff

and even pretend to like it.

Ahh.

I read somewhere that more

American men over the age of 40

drop dead on golf courses

than they do in bed.

That's unfortunate.

Mm-Hmm.
He's a deaf mute.

Most of my servants are.
They read lips.

Saves a lot of babbling around,
listening in at keyholes,

and gossiping with the press.

I expect you read my cover story in "Time" magazine.

No. I haven't.

I haven't, either, but lady Bolding

gave me some extracts.

Oh, she's lunching with us, by the way.

Who's lady Bolding?

Oh, she's an associate,

my personal assistant, you might say.

Is there a lord Bolding?

Sir. Sir Harry,

Nothing too grand, just a baronet.

I think his father bought the title

from Lloyd George.

They did things much more sensibly years ago.

What does sir Harry do?

Executive at one of my companies.

Thinks like an arab.

Spends most of his time in the Middle East

accepting sheep's eyes on my behalf,

My personal Lawrence of Arabia, you might say.

Ah, my dear, perfect timing.

This is Maren and mr. Chesser.

Lady Bolding.
Anne.

Your photographs don't do you justice.

Has Clyde been outrageous?

Usually is if I'm not here to keep him in check.

No. He's been very entertaining.

We've had 3 holes of golf

and lots of innuendo.

How clever.

Which one of these is genuine?

Can you tell?

Well?

I'm supposed to be impressed.

Tell him, sweetheart.

I'd like some cr?me de menthe in a large glass, please.

A tall glass of cr?me de menthe.

Clear, please.
Clear.

I always get this look on my face

when I'm supposed to be impressed.

Thank you.

The old "diamond

in the "cr?me de menthe" test.

Good.

How can I tell?

This is man-made.

Its gravity is about 1/3 greater than a diamond.

That's the reason the diamond

got to the bottom last.

Impressive, but suppose

I told you they were both diamonds?

You'd be wrong.

Can you prove it?

Scratch that one with this one.

If they're both diamonds, you'll ruin one or the other

Or both.

I congratulate you, mr. Chesser.

Wasn't it fun, though?

Heh heh.
Stylish, I'd say.

Yes.

Would you ladies excuse us?

Later, I wished I'd gotten up right then

and left with the ladies.

I want you to acquire a diamond for me,

a new stone, perfectly cut,

Top quality.

How much you want to spend?

A million.

Dollars?
Dollars,

And I want it in a week.

If I found one, it would take a week to cut it.

Can you do it?

Yes.

I shall want a stone large enough

To be known as the Massey.

The Massey.

Has a nice sound to it.

I thought so.

You'll have a certified check for the full amount

in your name before you leave.

There should be enough in the million

for some profit to you.

How large is "large", Chesser?

Around 100 carats.

You equipped to handle a stone of that size?

Yes.

Well, I'm very happy for you, Chesser.

Thank you, sir.
I appreciate that.

Why not go into the sighting room,

let Watts have a go at it?

Shouldn't take more than 20 minutes.

Oh, and Chesser,

we'd all appreciate it if you'd wear something

a little more correct next time.

Precisely.

There's a good fellow.

And the funny thing was,

at that point, I thought all I was doing

was buying a diamond.

We haven't been on him.

Apparently.

There's no reason to be.

He's small stuff, always has been.

Well, he's got into something big

while you weren't looking.

His girl. Could be her, you know?

She's rich enough to buy herself a treat.

Why doesn't he marry her?

Her husband was Jean Marc Sorel,

Killed in a car crash.

The whole estate went to her.

If she remarries, she's disinherited.

Ah. Hmm.

I was in way over my head.

These stones are worth at least $1/2 million apiece,

And I've never even seen anything like them in this form.

I'm trying the best I can to come off

like I really know what I'm doing.

Like anyone else, I'm not that crazy

about making a fool out of myself.

Excellent color.

107.8 carats, sir.

How do you think it would cut?

The grain is right for an oval, sir,

If you'll pardon my making a suggestion.

What's the price?

800,000.

Main thing now is not to jump up

And say, "wow".

May I complete the transaction, sir?

Why don't you come by my hotel

this afternoon around 5:00?

I'll have a certified check ready for you.

That'll be my pleasure, sir.

Thank you, mr. Watts.

I was heading for the nearest bar.

I don't like those people at all.

I have never been able to get used

to the way the system does things.

Well, they're not always as fair as they could be,

but they have to have regulations.

Still, there's something to being human.

Take this friend of mine.

He'd been with The System for just short of 30 years.

January last, the doctors

of Saint George's Hospital told him he had cancer,

terminal, nothing to be done about it.

He's due to die within the year.

Ahh.

May i?

Yes. Thank you.

Now, The System has a 30-year death-or-retirement benefit

for all employees.

My friend will die at just about a year short

of the required 30 years, but...

The System won't make an exception...

And my friend's family needs looking after.

The wife is not well,

and there's also a daughter depending on him.

He explained all that to them?

Oh, yes, sir.
Of course.

They were sympathetic.

"A generous compromise" is what they called it.

20% is what they'll have.

All those years for 20%

of the benefits he was counting on.

Still, I suppose things must run to form.

Who are you getting to cut the stone, sir?

Who would you suggest?

Wildenstein in Antwerp.

Very beautiful.

You think it has

enough depth for an oval?

Is that what you want?

Whatever is best.

We'll see.

What's the fastest I can have it?

Not less than a month.

I need it by thursday.
It's very important.

Impossible.

I'll pay $100,000.

This man is a living legend.

Come back on thursday.

Also one of your regular guys.

So what do we do till thursday?

Till thursday?

Let's take a little walk.
That's good for us, too.

Always coming on.
Always coming on.

Give a guy a break.

You got to give a guy a break.

I never even saw him.

72.4 carats.

Looks flawless.

It is.

Congratulations.

I may be too sensitive,

but I'm trying to be nice and appreciative,

and I think he's looking at me funny.

Slow down.
You're reckless.

I'm not reckless.
I'm skillful.

That's probably what Jean Marc said

before he drove himself off the cliff.

"I'm not reckless.
I'm skillful."

Slow down.
Now slow down.

Slow down. Come on.

* you say you'll always love me *

* how can you? *

* I only know I love you... *

Can't find it.

Look somewhere else, then.

But you said he'd have it in his coat pocket.

So what?
Look somewhere else.

Hey, hold on a minute.

Maybe she's got it on her.

Yeah. Yeah.
I'll look.

Well, why can't I look?

Check the car.

Well, you said he'd have it on him.

You check the car.

The car.

You found anything?

Hood.

What'd he say?

Hood.

He called me a hood.

Hood.

He meant bonnet.

It's under the bloody bonnet.

Hey.

Let's go.

* long live love *

* long live love *

* here's to our *

* remembered sighs... *

This didn't feel terrific,

but if I'd have known what was gonna happen

in the next couple of days,
I would have been very happy

just sitting there in Belgium with a dart in my arm.

No insurance?

No.

I'd say that was pretty stupid, wouldn't you?

Well, as it turns out, yes.

You were advanced a million in good faith.

Now you can't deliver.

I can deliver.

When?
Soon.

I'm unbending about commitments, mr. Chesser.

You can return the money, and that will be that.

No.

You think I'm being unreasonable?

Yes.

Because you haven't got the money?

Your theory is,

these men on the road were professionals

and someone in A ntwerp provided them with information.

That's right.

Who in Antwerp?

Someone at Wildenstein's.

Ha ha! I'm sorry, mr. Chesser.

A very conventional premise.

I'd like to take a swim, if it's all right.

Why, of course, my dear.

Thank you.

Splendid notion.

I'll join you.

I felt like a swim myself,

but no one was asking me.

I admire a man with pride, mr. Chesser,

but not when it's at my expense.

How would thieves

dispose of such a diamond?

They'd have it recut so it couldn't be identified.

Then they'd try to sell it privately.

Why should they worry about identification?

You're the only one who's seen it.

And Wildenstein the cutter.

Hardly a multitude.

Did you have the finished stone

Photographed?

No.

You certainly know

how to protect yourself, don't you?

Oh, how lovely.
How very lovely.

Tell you what, Chesser.

To be fair, I suppose it's possible

you're a victim of circumstances,

and at least some effort should be made

to recover the diamond.

There's an investigating firm in London,

A good one. Very fast,

very efficient, very quiet.

I'll put them onto it at once

and see what they can come up with.

In the meantime, I suggest

you and your Maren stay on here

until the matter is settled

one way or the other.

I wanted to kick his naked ass

all over his estate,

but my neck wasn't really right yet, anyway.

Identified as Max Toland, alias Marty Toll,

Manny Landers, et cetera, et cetera.

Police record - 1958,

Convicted of customs and excise offenses,

Served one year, 6 months at Budney Prison;

1961, convicted of robbery with firearms;

1969, charged with murder.

Because of lack of evidence, the magistrate

held there was no case to answer.

Wait.

That's him.

Hmm. Yes.

You're not surprised, are you?

No.

For the past 4 years, Max Toland is known

to have been in the pay of the security section

of the Consolidated Selling System,

engaged as a special informant.

The System.

My dear Chesser,

it wasn't coincidence that my investigators

found your man so swiftly.

I personally suggested the direction

in which they look.

I sure didn't know

what that lady Bolding was up to.

No swim, and they didn't ask me

to ride horses with them, either,

but it turned out, I never would have guessed

what anyone was up to.

How many diamonds do you think The System

has taken over the last 20 years?

Millions of carats.

80 million, and during that time,

they've only released 60 million on the market.

What this means is that 4 tons of gem-quality stones,

$12 billion worth of diamonds,

are just sitting somewhere

to control the demand and price.

Where do you think they are at this very minute?

Johannesburg.
Uh-Uh.

You've walked right over them dozens of times.

11 Harrowhouse.

Shall we have a cup of tea?

People get killed stealing.

I bet it would be the biggest robbery in history.

$12 billion worth of diamonds.

We'll beat The System.

You're crazy.

No, really.
You are crazy.

Nobody beats The System.

How can you say that?

Nobody has ever tried it.

How would you feel

about $10 million cash for you?

Good.

You don't take this very seriously, do you?

Not yet.

One of my companies has offices on Harrowhouse,

Right next door to number 11.

No swim, no horses, no cigar, no drink.

Make it 15.

15.

I owed him a million dollars,

and the way I had my life worked out,

I figured I could clear up the whole debt

If I did my own laundry and never ate again

by the time I was 417 years old.

Jean Marc taught me,

except I'm not so hot from the hip, you know?

It's not as accurate.

See? It's not a good, tight pattern.

This is a ppk.
I got one for you, too.

They're matching pairs.

That's sweet.

I'm telling you, ppk can stop just about anything.

From what?
Living.

Look.
The best way to get shot

is to have a gun.

Oh, that's really stupid.

Maybe it is, the best way to shoot yourself

is to have a gun.

Now you're talking.

In either case, you get shot.

I just want you to try it.

Try it for me.

I'll take the book.
Why don't you take the gun?

Now we're talking shooting.

This is where the guy

is supposed to look terrific.

We won't be needing guns.

Books, not guns, books.

T he way it turned out, I was very wrong.

I have a favor to ask you.

Yes, sir?

No. Two favors, really.

Please don't call me sir.

Oh.

I've been thinking about what you said

About, um...

How little time you have.

I think that maybe we can help each other.

How can I help you, sir?

I need some information about number 11.

What sort of information, sir?

I need to know all you know...

Especially about the arrangement of things

Below the ground floor.

I know all about that, sir.

I thought you might.

You don't have to pay all this for that.

What if they're watching us now?

Who?

They do that, sir, surveillance...

Of dealers mostly.

We'll know soon enough.

Woman: yes, sir?

What is going on next door?

I believe they're completely redoing it, sir.

You'd think they'd have the decency

and respect to work at night.

Yes, sir.
One would think so.

What's that?

The report from Watts.

Read it to me.

"There are two subterranean levels.

"The lowest level consists of one oblong room

"Running the entire length and width of the building

"And is accessible only by the elevator.

"This is the vault where the inventory is kept.

"The vault is enclosed on all sides

"As well as above and below

"By 4-Inch armor plate tested to be

"Impervious to a 75-Millimeter shell.

"The vault door itself is protected

"By horizontal patterns of
unavoidable electronic beams

"To set off an alarm if interrupted by anything,

"A complex heat-Sensitive device

"To detect any living presence.

"As an additional precaution, there exists

"An arrangement of 8 small mirrors

"Permanently and exactly set at congruent angles

"To reflect a network...

Of laser beams."

See? I told you it would be easy.

They've got 7 pythons, 9 alligators,

And a rhinoceros down there.

Ok. I'll distract the pythons

And the alligators, and you get the rhino.

You get the rhino and drop me a card

And tell me how it all turns out.

The ventilation

and air-conditioning system is similarly protected.

The electrical supply for number 11

is connected to a junction box on the roof.

The conduit piping carries the wiring

throughout the framework of the building.

There is no access to the building from the roof,

which is completely sealed.

I'm gonna take a look.

All alarms referring to the various devices

fitted to the outside of the building

are connected to a central control

manned day and night by guards of the System's security section

inside number 11 itself.

Don't touch the fence.

That's it.

The roof surface of number 11

is fitted with a pressure alarm that is activated

by anything weighing in excess of 10 pounds,

The 10-pound limit to prevent activation by pigeons.

The only sections of number 11 not connected to these alarms

are the chimney stacks,

ventilation housings, and the gutters.

I had bought this terrific outfit

and everything.

I think I can do it.

It probably seemed cowardly of me

to have let her do that.

In a way, I guess it was,

but I haven't really made my move yet.

15 million is 15 million.

She loves to show off, anyway.

She was a fine person in so many ways.

I was right to have let her do it.

If that had been me out there, I'd have panicked by now.

Liverpool.

Stoke City.

T hat's a long way for somebody to fall,

especially somebody you love.

So far, I'm not having a good time.

Well, you have to get into the spirit of it.

Uh!

I'm about to make my move.

You know how they get married in Bora Bora?

No. How?

To be married in Bora Bora,

the woman builds a huge fire,

and then she runs away and hides.

That's it?
No.

Then when the fire burns down to a glow,

the guy picks up the red-hot coals

in his bare hands

and goes looking for the woman.

If he finds her before he drops the coals,

they're automatically married.

Otherwise, they just forget the whole idea.

And cut off his poor burned hands.

I read about this.

How do they get divorced?

Maybe they just never do.

Maybe it's too awful to talk about.

I had to try it this time myself.

If we pulled it off, I never wanted her

to be able to call me a sissy.

Hello?

Mr. Watts, please.

It's a call for you, Charlie.

Hello?

It's Chesser.

Oh, hello.

Was everything all right with the information, sir?

Yes. Thank you.
Excellent.

Good.
Mr. Watts...

Yes?

Would you add a slice of chocolate cake

to your lunch tomorrow?

A slice of chocolate cake?

Yes, certainly.

And would you keep an eye open

for a hand-painted cockroach?

Yes, certainly, sir.

I'll never forget how casually Watts said,

Yes, certainly, he'd keep an eye out

for a hand-painted cockroach.

Good morning.
Morning, sir.

Made me wonder

how he spent his spare time.

Can I take your coat, sir?

Uh, yes. Yes, please.
Thank you.

And the hat. Thank you.

Mr. Chesser?

Yes?

I've found a cockroach.

Really? What color?

Red.
Great.

We're to proceed, then?

Tonight.

I'll be ready.

You found a way to get out safely?

Oh, yes. Getting out

i s actually quite a bit easier than getting in.

Armstrong.

Yes, mr...
Yes?

Mr. Gregg.

Mr. Gregg. Yes.

Griffiths.

Griffiths. Yes.

Good night, Miller.

Good night, mr. Watts.

Weatherall.

You're new here, are you mr...

Yes.
One moment.

Yes. Ok.
Good night.

Martin.

Martin. Yes.

Miss Nelson.

Miss Nelson, good night.

Good night.

Bateman.

Major Bateman.
Good night, major.

Good night.

Mrs. Peters. Yes.
Good night, mrs. Peters.

Miss Mcnulty.

All absent and correct.

Mm-Hmm.

Well, with a bit of luck

and a bite to eat,

I'm off to watch the football.

I had thought from time to time

all my life about doing something like this,

and now that the time had come, I really felt

like turning the truck around and heading south...

or north or anywhere but where I was going.

That is one scared truck.

A hopeful start.

I was hoping the others were in better shape than I was.

All right. Go ahead.

I was trying to figure

the hourly rate for this line of work.

What's up?

You had a report on them decorators

working in number 13.

What about it?

Well, they're here.

So?

Well, I thought you should know, that's all.

So now I know.

Liverpool.

Just a minute.

What's "was a robber"?

How many letters?

8. Last one is "s."

Barabbas.

That's right.
Thanks.

Liverpool.

Stoke City.

At this point,

I optimistically thought we had it made,

and I was one happy guy.

Ahh.

You think this was the way King Solomon started?

There was one guy's face

I was dying to see.

Morning, mr. Meecham.

Morning, Miller.

Good morning, mr. Meecham.

Morning, Fitzmaurice.

It seems we might have a warm day.

I'd say so.

Ahh.

Good morning, sir.

What on earth are you doing here, Watts?

I've been eating, sir.

Eating?

I've been eating the inventory.

Ha ha!
Oh.

Yes, sir, but I assure you

that official confirmation will be forthcoming.

What? Oh, quite, sir.

Yes. We'll got through the usual channels,

I assure you, but you see, sir...

You know what's at stake here!

Where have you hidden them?

Now come on...

By the time i'm done with you,

you won't be able to get a job

guarding the prime minister's sheepdog.

Meecham here.

I want you to start shipping reserves

to London as soon as possible.

No! Immediately.

Who are the others?

No. Never mind about explanations.

We'll have full board authorization

by tomorrow midday.

No. Now!

Start shipping now!

The police haven't been informed?

Certainly not, sir.

Well, keep it that way.

We'll have a full board meeting by 4 p.m.
This afternoon.

But, sir, two of the directors

are on holiday.

I don't care if they're on pot!

Get them here at once.
Do you understand?

What's that, sir?

What? Oh, no.
Not on the pot, sir.

Oh, it's just a little saying.

Tell me about it, Watts.

Sir?

Am I not speaking English?

I said, tell me about it.

I don't really know what there is to tell, sir.

Good god, man,

I don't think you realize the implications here.

I'm quite sure you're right, sir.

Now you listen to me carefully, Watts.

The annual world market demand for diamonds

is 3 million carats,
3 million.

We... Your firm, The System...

Very carefully and very considerately

maintain that scarcity for good reason.

You must realize, then, that if 20 million carats,

?5 billion worth of diamonds,

The diamonds you and your fellow conspirators stole,

are suddenly scattered around the globe,

the value of all diamonds will plunge

with the speed of lightning.

Huge fortunes will be wiped out in an instant.

Panic will reign.

Ruin will be the order of the day.

Good god, man, do you mean to sit there

and tell me that you want to be responsible for such a disaster?

Do you think I might have a glass of water, please?

Oh, for god's sake, Watts.

Thank you, Miller.

Excuse me, sir, but as you know,

the state of my health is not what it should be.

Of course.

There.

Now, about these diamonds,

You see, sir, I'm not a very articulate man.

I can speak fluently

about diamonds, of course,

but I've always been inclined to think

that they meant something

quite different to me

than they did to you, sir.

Where are they, Watts?

Tell me where they are.

Yes, sir.

During my long

and, I might say, faithful service here,

I've observed one thing above all else.

Well, what is it?

You don't care for me, sir.

I what?

Don't care for me, sir,

I mean, not as a person,

not as a fellow human.

You're trying my patience, Watts.

Yes, sir...

As you've tried mine.

Oh...

Uhh...

What on earth is the matter with him?

He's dead, sir.

Dead?

Can't be dead...

Not now...

Not in my office.

Passed.

I'm afraid so, sir.

Strychnine, I'd say,

and a pretty undeniable admission of guilt,

I might add.

We had reached the final stage.

What's the plan now?

We give him the sample back.

We collect the 15 million.

We tell him where he can find the rest.

15 million.

Figure he's gonna have that on him?

What?
15 million in cash?

I'm not taking it in cash.

I couldn't carry it in cash.

I'd help you.
Thanks.

I'll take it in stocks.

Huh.

Oh, boy.

Hello, darling.

Aah!

Waah!

You're lucky i'm a nice guy.

You, I never liked.

I had thought

we'd have a couple of drinks and be on our way.

They all seemed so angry.

I certainly had my problems in life, too,

and sometimes I'd even been a bit quick-tempered,

but nothing like that.

You get the feeling Massey is not that nice a guy?

I got that feeling.

I think I can make it.

I don't think you can.

No. I can make it.

No. I don't think you can.

I'm gonna try.
Now listen.

You can't. This is no time to argue.

Hit the brakes.

Agh!

Ah!

There was my last shot

at trying something heroic.

I got it. Ok.

You're going to kill them?

After they tell me where the diamonds are.

Let them go, Clyde.

Certainly not.

It pleases you that much to see so many people ruined?

Of course it does.

It's human nature to be pleased

at other people's misfortune.

The dark side of human nature, Clyde.

Ha ha!

A side not totally

unfamiliar to you, my dear.

It's all gone mad, everyone.

Yes...
Meecham, Chesser, The System...

But then, we're all mad, really, aren't we?

Go after them.
After them.

Guns, I understood,

but were they trying to get the dogs to bite the tires?

Come on, then!
Whoo!

If that plane took off after us,

I was planning to give up.

Ah!

Come on, lads.

We'll cut them off at froggy bottom.

Who were all these people?

Where did they all come from?

This guy started with two deaf-and-dumb servants,

and now he had an army.

Good lord! Lady Bolding!

My theory was that they'd all been leading

pretty boring lives and at the slightest chance

for some action, went crazy.

Whoo!
Come on!

It's lady Bolding.

Follow me.

Hi, lady Bolding.

Can we trust her?

I can. She loves me.

I wish I'd been nicer to her.

Once more, lads, into the breach.

Into the breach, lads.

Ace driver.

She's reckless.

She's not reckless.
She's skillful.

I didn't know where

that lady Bolding was leading us to.

I was sure hoping it wasn't

to another one of her swimming parties.

Whoo!

I've got a pain

going down the small of my back

that's either from lifting something

or tension.

Quite honestly, I think it's tension.

Aha!

Whoa! Ha ha ha!

This is a hell of a way

to see the English countryside.

My mind was racing to think of what I had done

to cause all this.

Obviously, I had offended them in some way,

but whatever it was, I did feel they were overreacting.

What the hell are you doing?

Get them.

This was not a fun place.

Oh, they had a pool and everything,

but it had never been a fun place.

This point, I really felt it was all over.

Then I decided, "wait a minute.

These guys didn't seem all that much smarter than me."

I mean, a lot of them were chasing a motor vehicle

with a bunch of horses.

The people at The System were starting to seem

like a bunch of terrific guys.

They were only worried about how I dressed

and that I show up on time.

I was beginning to love them.

Take that.

Tally ho!

Tally ho!

Ugh!

God.

We've got them now.

If we got out of this,

no matter how much they apologized,

I wasn't coming back.

Get them! Grr!

Are you all right?

Oh, I think so.

Take my car.
Go straight down there.

There's an opening to the left that leads to the road.

That's very kind of you.

I'll drive.

It's not far.

And here I was worrying.

Pity.

Oh, no! No!

Stop him! No!

Faster!

Oh, god!
Oh, no, no.

No!

No, no.

Mm-Hmm.

What a sweetie.

After them, lads!

Whew.

Well, win some.
Lose some.

That wasn't nice.

Ha ha!

Well, anyway, we got the goods.

How much is in here?

About 20 million.

Ok. This, we keep.

All right.

Now, what do we do with the rest?

You want to keep that bag worth 20 million,

We do what The System did.

Uh, what's that you're sitting on?

The System had their way

of keeping diamonds off the market, and we had ours.

I never really liked the stuff, anyway.

That fountain is to make it look

like the decorators were decorating.

I wanted to use that famous statue of a little boy peeing

for a little symbolism there, but she talked me out of it.

I still think I was right.

You see, the fountain is sitting on top

of $12 billion worth of diamonds

right in The System's own back yard.

I say, "let them eat cake."

When it was all over,

I couldn't help but think of Watts,

Watts, who had spent his whole life in The System

And had said to me, "Yes.
There must be rules,

but there is something to being human, after all."

There is something to being human.

And now, since I could finally afford to buy the ring

and provide for her in the modest way

to which she'd become accustomed...

Mmhhh...

Do you feel married?

When I think about it.

When do you?

I'll think about it now if you want me to.

You don't have to.

I don't mind.

Well, what does it feel like, then?

Warm, safe, secure.

Hmm, you're lying.

What does it feel like to you?

Cold, dangerous, exposed.

Come here.
Come here.

Ha! Oh, Howie.

It's Howard,

And I told you never to call me that.

Ha ha ha!

Are you sure?

Howie, Howard...

* skies of blue *

* and stars above *

* here's to you *

* and long live love *

* long live love *

* long live love *

* here's to our *

* remembered sighs *

* skies of blue *

* and stars above *

* here's to you *

* and long live love. *