11M: Terror in Madrid (2022) - full transcript

He looked for the good in people.

Not what they have, their status,
if they have a nice tracksuit.

He didn't criticize anybody,

so I'd think,
"You're as nice as you are dumb."

It makes me mad.

The smell after playing football.

He left his shirt in and and he's like,

"Oh, what detergent
does your mom use?"

I was going home from work.
I heard the news on the radio.

I got really nervous.

A huge overwhelming sensation



and seeing hour after hour go by

and…the only person
no one had heard from was Dani.

The taxi driver was crying with us.

I kept thinking
that Dani was helping the victims.

I got home, my father was crying.

I didn't understand. I told him,
"Hey, it's fine. Everything's fine, Dad."

"Everything's fine."

And… and I got the call,
them not being able to find Dani.

But I had talked to him,
so it couldn't be,

and I was saying
that he was going to show up

and I'd give him a hug,
because I wanted to see him so badly.

And he never showed up.

Up until March 10th, 2004,

I was a normal person. I had a job.
I think I was happy.



I was able to send
both my children to college.

I was working in research
on new drugs to treat cancer.

I was a commander in the terrestrial army.

I worked as an electrician
and as a plumber.

I was a photojournalist at Agencia EFE.

I was a regional dance teacher.

She was in a dance group too.

I used to work at the station.

I'm a security guard.

I was working as a train operator
for the commuter train network in Madrid.

Back then, besides working
as a civil servant, I drove a taxi.

I worked two jobs.

I was a completely happy girl.

I didn't have any kind of problem.
Everything for me was great.

My life was just like
any other guy who's 19 or 20.

I found out I was pregnant. I was happy.

There was nothing
that made me feel

that day would be
different from any other day.

A regular work day.

He kissed me goodbye like every morning.

You have some coffee, you take a shower.

You get dressed and you leave
in a hurry to catch the train.

I remember I bought a newspaper that day.
Because Real Madrid won the day before.

When he said goodbye, his mother said,

"Will you kiss me goodbye, son?"

As he was walking down the hallway,

I had this feeling.

I thought, "Don't leave."

I saw the train pulling away
and I just ran to catch it.

And I caught it.

When the doors closed,
we heard this huge noise.

We all fell to the ground
and smoke came out.

I managed to get out of the train.

I looked to my right,

and to my surprise
I saw a blown-up train car.

I was on the platform

and the train to my left, the one
I'd just gotten off from, exploded.

The only thought I had
was to get out.

Get out, no matter what.

There's no cowardice in that situation.

It's survival.

Through the security walkie-talkies

we were told we all had to go
downstairs to the platforms.

I threw myself down to protect myself
and jumped to the tracks on my right.

Then a third bomb exploded,
and it all went black.

The third explosion
was the one that hit us.

The blast threw us down.

I was knocked unconscious.

The first shards of glass hit me

on the left side of my face.

You see terror.

Things I think no one should see.

I always sat
in the same train car.

Usually in the same seat
next to the window.

I remember the "beep-beep" sound
the doors made when they closed.

I started the train.

I didn't hear any noise.
I saw a flash.

And smoke.

A black cloud enveloped me
and everything started spinning.

I was under a seat.
I couldn't see anything.

I started screaming,
"What is this? What is this?"

"It's a bomb. It's a bomb."

That's all I remember.

I saw through the rear-view mirror…

the explosion of the second…
the second bomb.

That image, I have it…

It's impossible to forget.

With that huge noise from the blast,

it's almost like you're deaf.

My hearing was like listening
to someone when your head is underwater.

That was my hearing.

I saw things that…

That were really hard.

The first thing I felt
was a lot of light spinning around

and I lost control of my body.

I tried to sit up, but I couldn't.

We went back in to help get people out.

While we're helping,

the fifth train car exploded.

I don't remember anything
about that blast.

Uh…

Uh…

"Lord, protect me."

"Me and my family."

At that moment, everything turned black.

A train is torn apart
by three explosions.

It's the latest on the terror attacks
on commuter trains in Madrid.

Officials are now checking
local hospitals in Madrid

to see if Britons
are amongst the dead and injured.

Katya, describe the scene to us.

As you can see behind me,

uh, a number of emergency services
all around Atocha station…

It wasn't just the people
who were surviving or relatives.

It was the people who were first-hand
on the platform in bits, absolute bits.

It was such a powerful human story.

Once we got there we realized
the magnitude of the tragedy.

First we all looked at each other
and we asked ourselves, "What is this?"

"Where do we begin?"

Everything was silent.

It was dead silence.
You could only hear cell phones.

When I woke up, I knew I was on the train,
but I couldn't see it anywhere.

I was suddenly in the seat
that the woman next to me was in.

To my surprise, I realized I no longer
had my pants on. Or my shoes.

The people who were in front of me,

who were right above the bomb,
were completely torn apart.

My legs were cut off at the knees.

I tried to get up.
That's when I realized that my legs…

I couldn't get up
because they were completely torn apart.

I was in so much pain.

It was as if my whole body had been torn.
So much pain.

We started
to do something that we call triage.

We do it to find out
who needs medical attention first,

depending on their injuries,

and who's least likely to survive.

I was helping someone
and my partner,

she asked, "What can I do? What can I do?"

And the paramedic
who was helping the victim

told her, "Help him die in peace."

"Help him die peacefully."

Uh…My partner, well,

she held his hand

and simply just waited for him to die.

The firemen arrived

and we asked them
to cut the doors off the trains

so we could use them as stretchers.

The windows
in nearby houses had shattered.

People were throwing blankets to us
through the open windows.

A friend of hers called me.
All she said was, "Bomb at Atocha."

I had my phone right here.
I grabbed it and I called my mother.

He said,
"Mom, there was an explosion."

He said, "Mommy come. Come, Mommy."

"Dad! Dad!"

"There was an explosion
and my arm is broken."

And then the call cut off.

So I went to the school

to check and see if she had come there,
they said she hadn't.

I woke up that morning

and thought I'd call him
to say happy birthday.

"Today's his birthday,
and I should be first, I'm his mother."

One of the answers to the calls was,

"We can't find your sister."

When I called, it was ringing,

but no one picked up.

Since we were undocumented,

we didn't want the police
to start asking us questions.

I held on to that woman,
and was asking her to help me.

I told her I had to leave that place
because I didn't want to be deported.

She said, "How can you leave
if you can't even walk?"

I was covered in blood.

I didn't have papers at the time

and I said that the police are going
to catch us because we don't have…

I remember a boy next to me who was dead.

Very young.

One man came onto the train
and saw a finger that was moving.

He had a wound in his chest.

I saw it and all I could do
was put my hand there.

I put my hand inside him.

With his hand there…

I lost less blood.

In Spain, we felt
the constant threat of domestic terrorism.

The terrorism carried out by ETA.

ETA was a terrorist group
which, uh, started a violent campaign

at the end of the 1960s
in a bid to gain independence

for the Basque region,
which claimed over 800 lives.

For decades, terrorism had to do with ETA.

In Spain, it's so deeply ingrained
in the psyche of the population there.

Two weeks before,
some ETA members were caught.

They came to Madrid
with a truck full of explosives.

They were targeting something big,
but no one knew what it was.

It's clear.
ETA has tried to wreck democracy.

It was a Thursday.

And the general election
was going to be on Sunday.

VOTE PP
VOTE PSOE

And so, there was the possibility

that this would
directly impact the election.

Terrorists must know

that any government
will give them the same answer.

And it will pursue them

until they answer
for their atrocious crimes.

This is not the time
to talk about anything

but the anger we feel
because of this savagery

and the support
for the families of the victims.

The government
of Aznar had really clamped down on ETA,

had been very successful in fighting ETA.

ETA was very weak at that time.

Electorally speaking, this was a strength

for the Partido Popular
and for Aznar going into that election.

Once the victims
that need medical attention

are taken away from the area,

the crime scene is secured.

And then we begin investigating
the scene

examining and carefully removing
all evidence.

Suddenly, we can hear people screaming,
"There's another bomb!"

And there was a deep emotional struggle.

The guys from TEDAX
told us we had to leave immediately.

We had to make sure there weren't
any victims who were still alive.

The firefighters, they left.

And we stayed there.

Uh…

Because some people were still alive.

My partner
heard a noise, heard a moan,

and he said, "We need to keep looking."

There was a girl screaming inside,
but what we heard was so quiet.

And we found another person

underneath several bodies.

They saw me, they saw that I…
That I was breathing

and I remember they said,
"This one's alive! She's alive!"

My first instinct was to grab her hand.

And when she grabbed mine,

I remember she held it very tight,
like she was saying,

"I don't know where I am or what happened,

but I know
this is what's going to save me."

In the end, two bags
with explosive devices were found.

One was at El Pozo station,

and was safely deactivated.

The other at Atocha,

and despite TEDAX's efforts
to deactivate it,

they realized that
it wasn't safe enough to do it manually,

so it was neutralized
by allowing it to explode.

The firefighters
had to carry out the hardest job.

We were recovering the bodies,

and in some cases it was very difficult.

I was obsessed
with looking everywhere, in every corner,

so we wouldn't miss anything.

We looked underneath the rails

and by following the blast wave,
I told one firefighter,

"Let's go up to the roof
in case there's anything there."

And it turned out
there was a dead body on the roof.

An incident infinitely more painful

considering how much emotion
we were all feeling.

The wounds were different.

It wasn't a war, these weren't soldiers,
and there were so many.

I'd never seen a clinical chart
written on a stomach with a marker.

The patients arrived
completely disoriented.

Most of them were deaf.

I had a burst vertebra.

I was missing a piece
of my forehead and nose.

I had tubes coming out of everywhere.

The only thing that I was thinking
was, "I lost my baby."

It felt impossible, like a nightmare.

But no, it was real.

I didn't care that I had burns,
I didn't care that I had broken bones,

I didn't care that my leg
had to be amputated.

I didn't care. I was alive.

The wave from the blast
had cut my elbow.

The doctor recommended cutting
off his arm, amputating his left arm.

My husband showed me a picture of my kids,

because I couldn't remember
I had any kids.

When I woke up…

they were there.

My husband, my parents, my family.

I was trying to tell them
how my daughter was dressed.

That same morning,
I talked to Baltasar Garzón

and told him,
"Those ETA people are bastards."

And Garzón told me,
"Alberto, it wasn't ETA."

I told Alberto Ruiz-Gallardón,
he asked me,

I told him it wasn't ETA.

He said, "What are you saying?"
I said, "No, it wasn't them."

He told me it wasn't ETA's MO.

"I can tell you at this moment,

ETA doesn't have enough people
to carry out an attack of this size."

Thirteen bombs
on four trains, totally synchronized.

It didn't seem like ETA.

The abertzale left
is not even considering as a hypothesis

that ETA is behind
what happened today in Madrid.

The government
convened an emergency cabinet,

and to our surprise, we found out

that the people who were called
to participate in the cabinet

were people who had no experience at all
with security or investigations

and had more to do with the Popular Party.

And what's worse, the Director
of the National Intelligence Service

wasn't asked to join.

That was the first time I had a feeling

that things were starting
to become delicate

and might end up becoming dangerous.

There were
two meetings that morning.

One was at the Moncloa, and was led
by the president of the government,

and another
at the Ministry of the Interior,

led by Minister Acebes.

I wasn't invited to either.

There was a meeting
with police higherups

between 12:00 and 1:00 p.m.
at the Ministry of the Interior.

One of the police commanders

called the commander in charge of TEDAX
who was working one of the attack sites

to ask if he knew anything
about the explosives.

And he said it could be dynamite
with a detonating cord,

that's what Santiago Cuadro Jaén says.

And Pedro Díaz-Pintado
says he heard him say

it might be Titadine
with a detonating cord.

Both have sworn up and down that it was
the other that made the mistake.

Santiago Cuadro says
he never said Titadine

and Díaz-Pintado says he heard Titadine.

So that's what he reported
to the rest of the police commanders

and what he later reported
to the minister.

We were told that morning
that it was Titadine,

and not Goma-2 ECO,
which is what actually blew up.

Titadine was ETA's typical weapon.

The use of Titadine was a rumor

that spread in the hours
immediately after the attacks

when we still weren't able
to determine the type of explosive.

First, because
there was no expert analysis,

and second, because the expert
analysis that was done later

could only determine the type of explosive
used for the explosion,

not the brand of the explosive.

And Titadine is a brand.

President of the government
José María Aznar

called the editors
of all the biggest newspapers

to tell them the government was certain
that that ETA was behind the attacks.

We received a phone call directly
from the president of the government.

He told us

that the most likely hypothesis
they were going with

was that the terrorist organization ETA
was behind the attack.

The president
of the government, without any doubt,

considered those responsible
for the attacks to be ETA.

I was very aware of what was going on
with my Spanish colleagues.

They were texting me.

I got a text from someone who said
they'd been called by Aznar.

I heard other people were called.

It was like,
"A prime minister calling people?"

This pressure coming
from the government to say something

before evidence
was coming out from the police.

The newspaper
had just gone to press

with the front page headline,

"Terrorist Carnage in Madrid."

And after Aznar's call,

I changed the headline

to "ETA Carnage in Madrid."

How could we not trust the word
of the president of the government?

The police,
due to the MO, didn't consider ETA

almost from the beginning.

I felt pretty uncomfortable

because an attack of such magnitude
was something that ETA,

unless it was a faction
that was trying to split from them,

wasn't interested in.

At this moment,
security forces and corps,

the Ministry of the Interior,
have no doubt

that the terrorist organization ETA
is behind the attack.

There is no possible
nor desirable negotiation

with these murderers

who have so many times
brought death throughout all of Spain.

Spanish TV is providing you
information on the series of attacks

in Madrid through which
ETA has tried to plant

the seeds of chaos and panic
at the end of the electoral campaign.

The public broadcaster, RTVE,
was controlled by the national government.

At the time
that was the government of Aznar.

The news was very much following

the government line in terms
of who had carried this out,

and the information
the government was giving out

was not necessarily
challenged as much as it should have been.

The government
called on the United Nations

to release a statement
condemning the attacks.

The Security Council was asked repeatedly
to condemn the attacks.

And then
the government insisted

that a statement of condemnation
wasn't enough.

It had to say that the attacks
had been organized by ETA.

POLICE - DO NOT CROSS

The Renault Kangoo
was found around noon

and people from the Provincial
Information Brigade showed up.

They said that the Renault Kangoo
didn't match with the evidence you'd see

in a vehicle owned by ETA.

When we found the van,

there were still some explosives inside.

And it was determined
they were made from Goma-2 ECO.

The policemen in charge
managed the information correctly,

but it is obvious
that there was a discrepancy

between the information provided
and the information the public had.

A van was found
in Alcalá de Henares,

and in the front seat
we found seven detonating devices

and also among other tapes,

we found one in Arabic

containing Quran verses
regarding teaching.

This made me instruct
our police forces and corps

not to dismiss any line of investigation.

I insisted our main line of investigation,

the one the police and the national guard
was considering as essential,

was that of the terrorist group ETA.

We stand strong
with the people of Spain.

I appreciate very much the Spanish
government's fight against terror,

their resolute stand against
terrorist organizations like the ETA.

Spain is still in shock
of this tragedy

caused by the series
of attacks that happened today

that, according to most of the hypotheses,

ETA carried out in Madrid.

A letter supposedly
from the terrorist organization al-Qaeda

was sent to an Arabic newspaper in London

and in it the group claims to be
behind this morning's attacks in Madrid.

It was al-Qaeda
claiming responsibility for this attack.

The fingerprint was there.

Al-Qaeda justifies the attacks

as part of old unsettled debts
in what they call the Spanish crusade.

A short while ago, I had a word with
Spain's foreign minister, Ana Palacio.

And I asked her why her government
was so certain that ETA was to blame.

Some people
were of the view that there were

certain characteristics of this attack
which were indeed not like ETA.

The fact that there was
no warning and the fact that

there were other factors involved
which were unfamiliar

in terms of the way ETA operates.

Everything indicates that it is ETA.

ETA is behind this terrorist attack.

ETA was trying to perpetrate
the mass terrorist attack in Madrid.

If the Spanish government
comes out so strongly,

this is a Western European democracy

and you don't assume that they lie
to their own people on such a big thing.

It was very painful to see
that the fact that people died

was slowly fading away.

The dead bodies were taken
to Pavilion 6 at IFEMA.

At that point, the autopsies began.

There were many families
who didn't know their relative was dead.

They hoped to find them at the hospital
with the unidentified wounded.

Everyone who went up to me
and asked me if I needed anything,

I'd tell them, "Look for my boy."

I kept thinking
my son would show up any minute.

It was past 11:00.

It was past 12:00.

All night
without knowing anything. Anything.

I said
the same thing as always.

Dad had gone to heaven because
some evil people wanted to take him.

That feeling of not wanting to be called.

Of not wanting to

hear your family's name,
your daughter's name.

We told a family that…

That their relative was dead.

And we'd go with them
to identify the body.

It looked like they had found
Daniel's body.

Mmm, they had to do a DNA test
to identify him.

I remember saying just one thing.

"Please, even if it's a lie,

swear to me that my son didn't suffer."

The police told me
they needed to see a picture.

And I told them it was my daughter.

My husband went in

to identify someone,
thinking it's his daughter.

He said it wasn't.

It was his daughter.

It's the hardest thing

any father or mother could go through.

I was stubborn
about being one of those who had to go in.

And I went in.

And there she was.

Until that day

she was here.

It may be
a bitterly cold evening at Celtic Park,

but nothing can disguise
the genuine emotion

as the Celtic supporters,
in their unique way,

pay tribute and offer condolences in song.

All of us were wondering,
"How can I help?"

All the wounded had
someone next to them holding their hand.

People from the streets.

He held my hand and kept telling me,
"Don't worry, we're going to help you."

There were people
who were still alive, but they…

They didn't have a chance.

I never imagined just a regular person
could do something like that.

In that moment, some people did things
they would never normally do.

I thought they'd leave.
But when I said, "Let's look inside,"

eight or ten people went
and they stayed until the end.

The lines to donate blood were endless.

The taxi driver told me I didn't
have to pay him, and wished me luck.

Everyone showed up. Everyone.

Somebody had written in white paint,

"We're not afraid."

I was writing the article,

and it was so hard to convey

the great pain we were seeing, in words.

Whenever
an ambulance passed, people would clap.

I really wanted to thank people
for helping us and for what they did.

We did everything we could
and if I couldn't do better

I apologize, obviously.

To anyone
that at that time cried for us,

know that I will be
eternally grateful to you.

I'd never seen my country
as united like that day. Never.

Two days later,
I'd never seen Spain so divided.

Saddam Hussein and his regime
have made no effort, no effort,

to disarm as required
by the international community.

Saddam Hussein will stop at nothing

until something stops him.

On 16th March, 2003,

President Bush met with Spanish
and British leaders in the Azores

to make the final decision
to go to war in Iraq.

George Bush was desperate
to find someone to enter this war with him

and Spain was one of the few
who was willing to do that.

We are committed to fight new threats

like terrorism, weapons of mass
destruction and tyrannical regimes.

With Saddam remaining,

armed with weapons of mass destruction,
more discussion is just more delay.

Saddam Hussein
and his weapons of mass destruction

are a threat
to the security of free nations.

American and coalition forces

are in the early stages
of military operations

to disarm Iraq, to free its people

and to defend the world from grave danger.

The role of Spain
in the Iraq occupation

was very contentious.

OUR GOVERNMENT IS OUR ENEMY

It was controversial and it sparked
large protests in the streets.

NO TO WAR

It brought international politics
to the forefront of public consciousness,

something that had never happened before.

The general public's interest
in foreign affairs was very limited.

I understand
the people saying, "What? Why? Why?"

This is the new responsibility for Spain.

Policy that promotes freedom,

that promotes democracy,
that promotes prosperity

between the two more important
democracies in the world,

the United States and the United Kingdom.

It's a good place.

No, no, personally for me.

That as well, but for my country.

The Bush administration
proclaimed "mission accomplished"

and it was a pretty messy
mission accomplished

if the largest attack in European history

could be carried out by al-Qaeda.

They were given instructions
to bag and catalogue the evidence found

and to send it to IFEMA.

The judge in charge
said in the report

that the evidence was going to be held
at the Puente de Vallecas precinct,

so we had to go to IFEMA

and bring the bags
to the Puente de Vallecas precinct.

While doing an inspection

and writing a report of everything
that was inside the bag

a police officer found the device.

They called
and said they found a bomb,

and they had already called
the TEDAX team,

and they evacuated the precinct.

We took it to a park to be able to
deactivate it more securely

and without putting people at risk.

We were able to proceed more carefully,

and successfully deactivated it.

In the X-ray

we could clearly see a long wire
that wasn't properly fitted.

It was like this,
that's why it didn't explode.

The backpack contained a phone,

a SIM card and an explosive device.

With this,
the police started working backwards

to figure out
where the explosives came from,

where they bought the phone

and where they bought the SIM card.

Does anyone believe
that any sensible government

in Spain after 30 years of terrorism

and after facing
an attack like yesterday's

wouldn't logically, reasonably, believe

that that gang might be behind it?

The idea that this attack

might have been carried out by jihadists

was seen as potentially
extremely damaging to Aznar.

Because he had supported
the invasion of Iraq

and the majority
of Spaniards had opposed that.

For some, if it had been ETA,
it'd mean a victory for the Popular Party,

but for others,
if the Muslims had done it,

Islamic terrorists,
they'd have the advantage

and would win the election
that was three days away.

The main line
of investigation is still ETA?

Yes, it's still the main line
of investigation.

This is what I've been told moments ago

by the security forces and corps,
who are in charge of the investigation.

I said
to the news editor,

"I'm beginning to think

that in fact they want to keep this going
until the election is over,

because if they don't,

they know that they stand

a very good chance
of losing the election."

A short time ago,
the Spanish Interior Minister

blamed the Basque separatist group, ETA.

However, ETA has condemned the attacks
and said it's not responsible.

An anonymous call on behalf
of ETA assured us they weren't responsible

and that was published
by the newspaper Gara.

The White House
offered an interview

with the president and the First Lady

at ambassador Javier Rupérez's
residence.

The offer was a surprise
because of the nature of the interview.

It wasn't unusual
that the White House press

called the…
the Spanish television correspondents.

But I always believed

it was because of the connection,
the friendship between Bush and Aznar.

It was the first time
an American president

visited a foreign ambassador
in Washington.

Mr. Ambassador,
thank you for having Laura and me here.

During this solemn occasion.

Rumsfeld,
Condoleezza Rice were there.

We knew that Colin Powell,
who had a very high position

in Bush's administration, was coming.

My first reaction
is my heart breaks for those who…

Bush did the interview next to his wife

and afterwards
Lorenzo called me to tell me

that Spanish television
would not broadcast the interview.

At that time, I believed,
and I still believe it now,

that it simply seemed like
the directors of Spanish television

felt it wasn't appropriate

to link, uh…

what had happened in Madrid
with President Bush,

because that led to Iraq.

And my understanding

was that the directors
were trying to insist

on the government's version,
that it was ETA.

Bush held me back,
he asked if we could talk privately.

He asked me,
"Who do you think is behind this?"

And I said,
"We're getting the impression it's ETA."

Then he said, "My intelligence services
say there's a possibility it wasn't ETA."

When the president
said his intelligence services

were thinking it was someone else, well,

I called Aznar to tell him,

and I imagine that Aznar knew

much more than I did
at that moment, right?

He was already aware
of the issue since he…

Let's say a rumor mill
had already started in Madrid.

Not all of us are here!
Two hundred are missing!

I've never covered
a demonstration like it.

As far as I could see,

you had people just walking
in absolute silence, holding candles.

It was so dignified.

And it was so moving,
and the message was very clear.

These people were very angry.

NO TO TERRORISM - PEACE

It began with the usual shouts
of "No to terrorism."

YESTERDAY, WE ALL DIED

But right then and there,
a new voice begins to be heard.

WHO AND WHY?

Completely spontaneously,
they asked, "Who was it?"

Who was it?
Who was it? Who was it?

That question,
at that demonstration, that day,

was clearly telling us

that the people didn't believe
the government's version of events.

It seems like some people

want to dismiss the possibility that
criminal and murderous ETA is behind this.

As the investigation progresses,

the evidence points more and more
towards Arabs and not ETA.

Especially because the numbers
from the SIM cards

that were part of the bombs
are identified.

Those numbers were traced back
to where they were bought,

a store in Lavapiés

owned by an Arab called Jamal Zougam.

Jamal Zougam was
a person with a jihadist background.

He had already been
flagged by French intelligence services

for his ties to jihadism.

No Spaniard
can be surprised that the priority

is the terrorist organization
that's spent 30 years attacking Spain,

and that's caused nearly 900 deaths.

That is the priority.

I haven't heard it's al-Qaeda from anyone

at the security forces and corps

or that they favor an investigative line

regarding that terrorist organization.

Five people
have been arrested in connection

with the Madrid train bombings.

They've been linked
to a mobile phone found in a bag

containing one of the unexploded bombs.

The first arrests
were citizens from Maghreb.

Where's ETA?

The head of the NIC

had been excluded from both
the political and investigative meetings,

and suddenly the government
asks him to make a statement

blaming the attacks on ETA.

At the same time, by noon on Saturday,

the police had the information
about the stores

where they bought the phones
used in the attacks.

I met
with Minister Acebes in his office

on Saturday at 4:00 p.m.
I wasn't told anything.

From Moncloa,
I'm being asked to say something

that is obviously going nowhere.

They already knew blaming ETA was useless

and that the Islamist direction
was the way to go.

I felt very bad that day.

I felt very manipulated
and I wanted to quit right then.

But imagine if the day before
the elections I presented my resignation.

I would've directly caused him to lose,

and that was a burden
I didn't want to carry either.

Katya, there's due to be
a general election

taking place on Sunday.

Does that still go ahead?

It looks like it will go ahead,
with the politicians saying

if they postpone elections, it'd be
tantamount to giving in to terrorism.

Before the polls open,

the local cell records a video

with the intent of influencing
the discussion that had already started

in the media and among Spanish society

regarding who was behind the attacks.

The video was made
by a terrorist dressed as a woman

because that was what he had nearby.

Imagine how much desperation
they were feeling.

The need to say,
"Hey, it was us who killed them, not ETA."

"It was us, damn it!"

I think
nothing should be dismissed.

The police will continue to work

investigating every possibility.

The Minister
of the Interior subjected himself

to a dramatic sequence
of public appearances

in which the information he provided

was very volatile,
and at the same time very contradictory.

It was extremely surprising
that a person like Aznar

wasn't capable of stopping that version,

because it was obvious that the opposition

was going to use the ammunition
they were being given.

On the day of reflection

the Spanish left wing
went out to the streets

and harshly and excessively
criticized the government.

In Spain,
in the 24 hours before an election,

any political propaganda is forbidden.

Many of the gatherings
in the streets

and in front
of the Popular Party headquarters

were organized through social media,

which, at the time,
was totally unheard of,

and at the very least, was rare.

These messages said,
"We have to do something."

So rather than actually
the journalistic establishment

in Spain taking a stand,

it was the people of Spain
who said, "This stinks."

The reproaches started strong.

There was demonstration in front
of the Popular Party's headquarters,

berating the government despite the fact

that there had been no evidence
of culpability from the government.

There is an illegal demonstration

that is also blaming
the Popular Party for terrible crimes.

NO LIES - NO WARS -
NO DEATHS - NO PP

The government
was in trouble.

The opposition smelled blood

and the possibility to unexpectedly change
the outcome of the election.

This is the first moment
of real internal tension in Spain

since the terrorist bombings.

These people blame the government
for what happened.

The nation is grieving,
but passions are becoming inflamed.

Spanish citizens deserve
a government that doesn't lie to them.

PSOE HEADQUARTERS

A government that always speaks the truth.

The government,
since the beginning, has acted

and continues to act
with full transparency.

There are so many
conflicting theories now,

some still pointing to ETA
as the government still does.

Others increasingly convinced

that there must be some sort
of al-Qaeda connection.

And in the midst of all this confusion,
people go to the polls.

Will it affect the election?

Most people believe
the turnout will be higher,

voters will be feeling emotional,

but nobody can predict
what impact it will have

on which way they will vote.

On Sunday, 14th, I went down
to vote with my husband and daughter.

Since Miriam was leaving
for London on Thursday,

she voted by mail.

I asked to be present
to make sure Miriam's vote was counted.

I wasn't going to go.

But I did.

I went because my boy
wanted to vote, and they didn't let him.

The turnout
for the elections was a lot higher,

might have been,
had these attacks not happened.

And the people who decided
to go to the elections

were not on the whole people
who voted for the Popular Party,

for the party that had been in power.

The day of the elections gave the victory,
surprisingly, to the opposing party.

I've given orders
to have the Spanish troops posted in Iraq

come home as soon
and as safely as possible.

When the socialist
government came into power

and made good on their campaign pledge
to withdraw the forces,

many in the US were disappointed.

Condoleezza Rice
called me to express

her surprise, her shock.

Because they didn't warn the Americans,
they said nothing.

There was this sense Zapatero
is doing what the terrorists have asked.

He should've waited
so there wasn't an impression

of a cause-and-effect relationship
between the attacks and the withdrawal.

Governments cannot be seen
to be giving in to terrorism.

They cannot make political decisions

based on acts of
or the continuing threat of terrorism.

He had a campaign promise
that he had to deliver on.

I don't think that it changed, frankly,

the degree to which Spain
was being targeted.

What is the objective of these…
of these attacks?

To change government?

This is a political goal.

But it is important, very different…

that, um, exactly the September 11th,

or the attacks in London,
or the attacks in, uh… in Casablanca,

or in Bali or in Istanbul.

It's change in government.

And, uh, well…

They achieved their objective,

because changed government.

I question whether
the Madrid cell had thought

they were going to change
the course of Spanish history.

Choosing March 11th
as the day of the attacks in Madrid

had nothing to do with the elections.

It actually was a strategic choice
by the terrorist organization al-Qaeda.

The first evidence
of 11th March

having been chosen
as the day to attack Madrid

has existed since
at least October 19th, 2003.

And on October 19th, 2003,

the general elections
hadn't been called yet in Spain.

There is objective data
showing that the attacks

were planned in Belgium, in Brussels.

There was a document
showing the purchase of a SIM card

that would have been used on March 11th.

In those documents,
they put two false dates of birth.

One of them was May 16th,
the date of the attacks in Casablanca,

and the other false date was March 11th,

the day the attacks in Madrid would occur.

Both those dates were written down
before the elections were called.

So it's difficult to believe
that they were in the president's head,

able to know he was going to
call elections on the 14th.

With all the data the national
police had gathered up to that point,

we started to draw the first
conclusions

about all the devices
that hadn't exploded.

Once we found out
where the SIM cards had been bought,

we were able to locate the phones
through the cellular network.

And they were near a house
we were already aware of

where the explosives were made,
near Morata de Tajuña.

That type of explosive
comes from mines,

especially ones located in Asturias.

Conchita Mine is very remote.

It was relatively easy

to hide large amounts
of explosive materials there.

They were explosive cartridges,

which were not properly stored,
as they should have been.

The explosive devices
as well as the rest of the detonators,

and there were many different types,
had all come from the same mine.

The other part of the investigation
was now to identify

all the people who might have had a role
in allowing the terrorists

to have this amount of explosives
readily available for them.

The linking piece was
an individual named Rafa Zouhier,

who knew the perpetrators

and the people at the mine in Asturias.

And both groups arranged it.

The jihadist cell
got their explosives in Asturias

by trading them for hashish,
simple as that.

They took them to Madrid
and carried out the attacks.

The leader of the cell, El Chino,

was stopped by the Civil Guard

when he was driving from Asturias
with 200 kilograms of explosives.

They were stopped, identified,
and there was nothing against them.

They fined him
and he paid in cash.

They didn't search the trunk
where all the explosives were.

The car had fake plates.

If instead of traffic police

an anti-terrorist unit
had pulled them over,

I'm certain they would have been arrested.

There were
serious coordination failures

between the Civil Guard
and the National Police Corps.

And with also international cooperation.

There were
many lines of investigation,

but none of them were concrete.

We knew they had a lot of explosives

and that they would go on killing
as long as they could.

There was then
an attempt to put, um, a bomb

on the AVE line from Seville to Madrid.

And my then-boyfriend, now husband,

was travelling on that train
and he called me from the AVE and said,

"The AVE stopped and we're delayed."
And then I got a call from BBC, London,

they said, "There's
a suspected bomb on the AVE line,"

and I was like…
"Okay," and I put on the TV,

Spanish television, and I could see
the picture of the train stopped.

And I was watching it and I was listening,
so my boyfriend on the one phone

and BBC, London, on the other phone,

watching the pictures and I thought,

"Is this gonna happen
in front of my eyes and ears?"

Some security guards
who were patrolling near the AVE rails

saw a vehicle,
with two individuals acting suspiciously,

and they called the Civil Guard.

The people who were there
noticed the movement

and that they had been spotted and left.

They cut the fence
to access the rails

and they tried to plant
some explosives there.

Twelve kilograms
of explosives and detonators

were placed under the rail,
hidden with rocks.

As the train passed, they would've
simply had to detonate it manually.

They placed it
a few meters from a bridge.

Had it gone off, it would've been
similar carnage to that of March 11th.

Because of the way
the explosive device had been planted,

all the passengers on the train
would have died.

The General Information Precinct
already had information

about the possible
perpetrators of the attacks,

and they were all from a jihadist cell

that was mainly composed
of individuals from Morocco.

At that time the only one
who had been to Afghanistan

and returned to Spain was Said Berraj.

Said Berraj must have been the one
to teach them how to make explosives.

We were investigating
all the phone numbers

that had been in communication
with any of the phones

that were used for the bombs.

A point came when we had a map

that looked like a star
with hundreds of points

where we placed
the different phone numbers

of people who could
have been involved in the attacks.

OUTGOING

One of the numbers
really caught my attention

because it looked very similar
to the batch related to Said Berraj.

INCOMING

I decided to investigate the phone number

and we saw that the last
incoming call was from a Spaniard

that had rented an apartment
to some Arabs.

They had given him their foreign number

and the name of Mohamed Belhadj

and at 3:00 p.m.,

I called my boss, my superior,

and I told him,
"I've found the terrorists' hideout."

I asked, "Is anyone in there?"

And Rafa says,
"Yes, there are people inside."

Abdelmajid Bouchar was one
of the ones in the apartment.

And he went down to take out the trash.

At that point,

he notices a member of the Exterior
Information Central Unit nearby.

The units are dressed as civilians.

And then he leaves the bag
in the container.

And he starts running.

The police
couldn't stop him at that time

because we didn't know

that Abdelmajid Bouchar
was actually an athlete.

The guys up in the apartment
started shooting from the windows,

and for us that was confirmation
that they were the terrorists.

The number of explosives
they could have had

was still high, very high.

It was likely
they had it in the apartment.

One of Morocco's State
Security Officers called me

since they already had the names
of the people we were looking for

and obviously the phones were bugged.

They told me that they called
their families in Morocco

to say goodbye.

He believed
they were going to kill themselves.

The area is sealed off

and all the citizen security units
are mobilized.

And GEO is sent, the Special Ops Group,

to carry out the assault
or to negotiate the terrorists' surrender.

We proceeded up to the floor
where their apartment was.

We put a controlled
explosive device on the door.

They started shooting from inside
and we could hear chanting in Arabic.

The head of the operation
ordered us to throw tear gas inside,

and a moment later we saw Javier.

He could see inside because
he was using a shield with a window.

He signaled there was someone inside
he was talking to

and he said,
"Get out slowly! Undress! Undress!"

The blast threw me into the air.

My eardrums were burst,
I could barely hear.

When the explosion cleared,
I saw I was okay.

I looked up at the building
and it was clear the assault was over.

Everything was about to collapse.

Then we all got to work
to rescue our teammates

who had been buried under the rubble.

We also took out Javier,
who was very injured at that moment.

An object cut his leg
and he didn't make it.

We found the remains of seven bodies,
completely destroyed.

The leaders of the cell
killed themselves then and there.

They put the backpacks in the trains,
getting on at Alcalá de Henares.

They got on different trains,

left the backpacks
and got off at intermediate stations.

The terrorists had begun,

but hadn't finished
a series of attacks they had planned.

They were renting a house
located very close to Granada.

One of them left a will.

They were counting on the fact
that if they weren't arrested,

then their goal, ultimately,

was to become
what they understand to be a martyr.

The grave of GEO member Torronteras,
who died during the explosion,

was desecrated.

The coffin was pulled out.
His body was removed and burned.

The ones who planned that out…

The ones I asked before…

When, who, and why…

They decided that day,
precisely that day…

Well, I don't think they are
in faraway deserts.

Or that they're in faraway mountains.

What do you mean?

Your Honor, I'm saying what I said,

and if you want to know,
investigate it, Your Honor.

Don't ask me
to take responsibility on that.

I didn't have information,
we weren't part of the investigation.

There were no meetings
in which we participated

and in which investigation tasks
were assigned or distributed to us.

That's after the 16th.

It doesn't make sense
that some common criminals

were able to plan and carry out

the largest terrorist attack
in the history of Europe,

and which even toppled a government.

You insist time and again
in pulling an esoteric link

between ETA and al-Qaeda
not because you care about the truth,

because you care that the people…

You care that people
keep thinking that there is a link,

'cause that will let you defend lies
you told between the 11th and 14th.

You are the ones who cannot
live with the circumstances

in which you won.

You don't care about what's
on the reports, or the judicial process,

or the data, you don't care about that.

You have the irresistible need

to say the investigation
is not being carried out.

Today instead of the president
showing up, an agitator has shown up.

What were you laughing about,
Your Honors?

What we're talking about, Your Honors,

is of the death and permanent injuries
suffered by human beings.

Of losses that have filled us
with grief and bitterness.

What happened?

What madness took over this country
in that moment?

Politics cannot stoop that low.
It just can't.

The 11M Commission was only there

so that politicians
could throw insults at each other

at the expense of the victims.
It served no purpose.

You had
a very bitter controversy

between the political forces

that were running
against each other in the election.

People were divided more than ever.

THE ONES BEHIND 11M

Society fractured,
but Spain was so quick to fall apart

along those historical, political lines.

AZNAR RESPONSIBLE

Everything fell apart.

Why? Because a new government came in
and it all changed.

That's the answer.

There was a smear campaign
against the investigative judge,

against the prosecutor.

They wanted, at any cost,

the perpetrators
to be the terrorist organization ETA.

And then the conspiracy theory
was started.

Pedro J. Ramírez,
from the newspaper El Mundo,

along with Federico Jiménez Losantos,

who at that time worked at COPE,

starts spreading stories to raise a flag

saying that it wasn't clear
who the perpetrators were.

We ended up turning coincidences

into evidence and putting that
on a front page with a tremendous reach.

Several theories
start circulating

and they always include a link between ETA

and the Spanish Secret Service
working for the Socialist Party.

The preservation of the trains
has also been the target of many theories.

The point of conflict
is to understand that the trains

are either a crime scene
or evidence for your beliefs.

The trains are a crime scene.

And after the police have inspected them
and have gathered evidence,

they return to normal service.

They talked a lot about links

between ETA members
that had gone to Morocco.

Where'd they find this information?

Morocco never provided
this information to us.

The intelligence services didn't either.

Very often the media
latch on to a conspiracy theory

because they think they'll make money.

They'll get more readers,
they will get more viewers,

claiming superior knowledge.

Everybody thinks it's this thing,

but they know it's that thing.

We're in a commercial war.
El Mundo has to leave

its right-wing newspaper competition,
ABC, in the dust.

Every time El Mundo
published a story like this,

with the support of the COPE,

the sales of El Mundo would go up,

and the sales of ABC would go down.

The efforts to undermine the discourse
of who was behind 11M

is the dirtiest,
most extraordinary journalistic deception

in the history of the Spanish news media
since the transition to democracy.

There is no way,
beyond any reasonable doubt,

that anyone, in good faith, can believe

that there was possible
cooperation between ETA and jihadists.

That cooperation has never existed.

There is no evidence
pointing to any collaboration.

Directly or indirectly.

Every attempt
at linking the attacks

with the terrorist organization
ETA was absolutely fabricated.

There was nothing. Since the beginning,
everything pointed to a jihadist cell.

It's had
a very pernicious impact since,

because it's woven
its way into the narrative

so that many people
don't know the real truth

about exactly what happened in Madrid

and continue to believe
outright falsehoods.

The damage done,

unnecessarily, gratuitously and unfairly,

to the people who were
simply doing their jobs.

Some journalists,

including Jiménez Losantos,
directly accused me

of being the ringleader
of a police conspiracy,

that I had participated in the attacks.

That I had been an accomplice
of a criminal massacre

and had filled the 11M report
with false evidence.

My wife, my children
tried to act normal around me,

but they were carrying their suffering
deep inside and, sadly, well,

the consequences were lethal.

To understand what happened
on March 11th, 2004, in Madrid,

we have to go back ten years, to 1994.

That was the year
when an al-Qaeda cell was formed in Spain.

The Spanish al-Qaeda cell was
formed by people with military experience

in the Muslim Brotherhood,
and had fled from Syria.

They left an influential leader
in their place.

It was Abu Dahdah.

A real cell begins to form
around Abu Dahdah.

They get married to Spanish women
so they can get the citizenship quickly

and their only motive
is to prepare for the jihad.

This cell carried out all activities

relating to financing,
radicalization and recruiting.

Al-Qaeda had a very high comfort level
in operating in Spain

and believed that they could
function there completely under the radar,

completely unnoticed.

Abu Dahdah travelled
at least ten or 12 times a year

with the money they had collected
in mosques in Madrid…

…to give it directly
to Abu Qutada in London.

The Finsbury Park Mosque
was acting really as a jumping off point

for recruits across Europe
and further afield

to then go to Afghanistan to get trained.

Two months before September 11th,

a person, possibly from Afghanistan,

told Abu Dahdah
that they had entered the aviation field.

The call was in Arabic,
so we asked the translator,

"What do they mean by aviation field?"

"Do they mean they're in an airfield?"

But the translator just said, "No,

it means that they have started
to work in the field of aviation."

Holy shit!

Fuck!

Fuck!

The existing
al-Qaeda infrastructure in Spain

was the most important supporting network
to the 9/11 attack

outside of Afghanistan and Pakistan.

In July, 2001, Mohamed Atta,

the leader of the 9/11 attacks
met with one of his key operatives,

Ramzi bin al-Shibh, in Tarragona.

The cell in Hamburg,
which was led by Mohamed Atta,

had been in touch
with the Spanish al-Qaeda cell

led by Abu Dahdah.

We went to see a judge.

We said, "We believe that the cell somehow
participated or knew about it beforehand."

"And I think we need to stop them."

The Dátil operation
that dismantled the Spanish al-Qaeda cell

was the most important operation
against al-Qaeda

carried out in Western Europe
since the 9/11 attacks.

Most of Abu Dahdah's
cell members are arrested,

including their leader.

However, not all the members
of the cell are arrested.

Amer Azizi, originally from Morocco
and a resident of Madrid,

was Abu Dahdah's right hand man
in the Spanish al-Qaeda cell.

He was going to be arrested
that day that Operation Dátil happened.

But we didn't know he wouldn't be there.

We found out he fled to Afghanistan.

He decided to carry out
some revenge plot against Spain

because of the operation
that had dismantled Abu Dahdah's cell

that he had belonged to
until November, 2001.

Amer Azizi, from Pakistan,
starts to give orders

so that the remaining
member of Abu Dahdah's cell

that hadn't been arrested,
would start to meet and create a new cell.

The decision to attack Madrid
was made in Karachi, Pakistan.

Amer Azizi
makes that decision in December, 2001,

accompanied by a well-known operative
of the Islamic group fighting in Libya.

He presented this attack
at a meeting of al-Qaeda senior operatives

in Turkey that occurred early in 2002

where it was approved. Therefore
long before the invasion of Iraq,

long before Spanish participation
in the coalition operations.

Throughout this process of planning,

Amer Azizi
becomes part of al-Qaeda central.

He begins to climb the ranks
inside the al-Qaeda organization.

He's appointed
by Osama bin Laden himself

as the deputy to head
al-Qaeda's external operations.

His relationship
with Hamza Rabia

was intent on implementing
al-Qaeda operations in Europe

to strike where they could.

Amer Azizi
manages to have his plans

to carry out a terrorist attack in Spain

approved by al-Qaeda's leaders

through their
external operations command.

Azizi was
the key mastermind of the 3/11 attacks.

It was his connections
to the senior leadership of al-Qaeda,

including Osama bin Laden,
that made this an al-Qaeda attack.

Initially,
al-Qaeda's involvement

was completely dismissed and denied,

it was profound skepticism.

It was believed that this was
an entirely homegrown cell of terrorists,

when in fact we see
concerted, detailed, longstanding,

meticulously planned and implemented

terrorist attacks emanating
from the heart of al-Qaeda.

In the 11M terrorist network,
there are three fundamental components.

First, what was left of Abu Dahdah's cell.

The second is the Islamic fighting group
from Morocco

through their Western Europe network.

And the third component

is comprised
of the common criminals turned jihadists

that joined in the summer of 2003.

So it would be a huge mistake
to reduce the March 11 network

to a small group of criminals
radicalized by the Iraq War.

The Bush administration
had taken their eye off the ball

of the old al-Qaeda in Pakistan,
and it struck in Spain.

They didn't want to admit it.

They didn't want to build up al-Qaeda
because they'd gone into Iraq,

so they deliberately
wanted to go along with the notion

that this was all an indigenous,
homegrown, uh, local phenomenon.

What's fascinating
is that the same denial

was present
a year-and-a-half later in London,

following the July, 2005 attacks
on London transport,

when in fact all the evidence
that has come to light

reflects exactly
on the situation in Spain.

Some could say that the UK
was the US's strongest ally.

Tony Blair was supporting
the US's global war on terrorism.

It was practical, this is where
they had resources at the moment.

This is where they had a better chance of
launching an attack than somewhere else.

The same could be said for Spain.

You have this network
in place, launch the attacks there.

The trial lasted over six months.

It had over 600 witnesses,
over 90 expert witnesses, 52 lawyers.

The ruling was based on a careful study

of every allegation from each side.

The defendants
didn't receive the same charges.

We had a main group that was being accused
only of committing the attacks.

Others were accused
of belonging to one of the cells.

Others were accused of collaborating,

others of falsifying documents,
and others of providing the explosives.

In the end, it was
a technically complicated trial.

The big question was
who was the mastermind

and why were the attacks
in Madrid carried out?

What was the reason?

The trial
wasn't able to determine

why there wasn't a clear mastermind
behind the attacks on March 11th.

We had a warrant
for his search and arrest

regarding his ties to the Madrid cell.

We weren't able
to figure out where he was.

Of course we couldn't locate him,

so we weren't able
to prosecute him at that time.

The American intelligence community

knew that Azizi
was a central link in this,

but the intelligence community
doesn't want to let terrorists know

that we're on their path.

So there was operational reasons

for the intelligence community
not to talk about Azizi's role

and that he was a very clear
and imminent threat

for future attacks
and therefore went after him.

We got information
that an American drone

had struck a meeting attended
by high-ranking leaders of al-Qaeda

and that when they searched
through the rubble,

they found Amer Azizi.

When Amer Azizi died,

the missing piece
that allowed us to reconstruct

the development of the plans
for the 2004 attacks in Madrid

was a document given to us
by US authorities

where they detailed
how Azizi had died and who was with him.

This information was transmitted
by the United States intelligence services

to the Spanish authorities
for the first time in September, 2006.

And again,
a more detailed brief on Amer Azizi

and his role in jihadist activities
in Spain on March 11th

was provided in September, 2007.

Azizi's importance
was not understood

until he was killed
along with his boss, Hamza Rabia.

So the theory fell apart that the 11M cell

was comprised of radicals
inspired by the words of Osama bin Laden

wanting to fight in his name
but without connection to him.

If this had been known
at the time the trial took place,

the final conclusion
would have been very different.

Azizi is the key piece of the puzzle

that allows us to understand
everything that happened

and understand the motive
and meaning of the attacks.

The government
didn't have enough empathy

for the shock
Spain's society was going through.

If I were the president
at that time,

the first thing I would've done
is go to Atocha.

If Aznar had just summoned the leaders
of each political party to Moncloa…

To gather them in an act
of condemnation and solidarity…

"Spain is being attacked."

"We are all together,
and we're going to face this together."

"Whomever the perpetrator is,
they're not confronting the government."

"They're confronting the country
and all its political forces."

This concept was never discussed.

We would've all understood,

and we wouldn't feel
like we'd been deceived.

If at that time the president
had asked the citizens to remain calm,

to say that democracy
shall remain victorious,

and that in two days there's an election,

and that everyone shall have the right
to vote as they choose,

he would've overwhelmingly won.

This had horrible repercussions
on the Spanish polity

who saw the government's
credibility completely crumble.

The government was remiss,

the government
had failed to protect the Spanish people.

This is exactly
what terrorists always strive to do.

They strive to make fools of governments.
This is exactly what happened in Spain

and exactly the trap the government
stepped right into, walked right into.

It's a sad day.
It's a date that had a negative impact

on the political and social evolution
of Spain, no doubt.

When we talk about 11M,

we almost forget
that we're talking about the dead.

There's no easy solution,

people feel angry,
they look at the past with anger.

Find it very hard
to look at the future with hope.

People just have to be mindful that
they keep on helping, assisting people.

The victims have shown me
the best part of human beings.

Gratitude.

Respect. And understanding.

It's something that you learn
to live with. But won't forget.

When a person dies,

they keep on living in other
people's memories, but it's very hard.

We really miss them.

I don't want
to revictimize myself.

I am a survivor
and that's how I see myself.

I want to believe
something like this won't happen again,

but what we can't do is forget.