Uri and Ella (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Plot Hole - full transcript



A nice schnitzel?

What are you in the mood for, Dad?

-I don't care.

-There's a food festival in Carmiel.
-Food festival in Carmiel?

I told you there wouldn't be
any lunch in this dump, right?

That's right, you did.

She didn't even talk to them,
it's all intuition.

That's right, Kinneret.

-You have this thing, you have to argue.
-They love it.

-Alright, I say...

The simplest thing we can do,
we'll order pizza. Eight pies.

-Shmul, does Dor want pizza?
-Hold on, Ella.

Doch! Look who's here.
Yaeli and her parents.

- Look at that! From school.
- Here.

"The food is great,
the seasoning is great.

We'll come back for sure.
Yoel and Sharona from Tivon."

Mine says, "Very disappointing,
all we ordered was some chicken,

-and we had to wait for 55 minutes."
-When was that posted?

- 2006.
- Who says the place still exists?

Gabbi, a riddle for doctors.

What's long, big and hard at the end?

A stethoscope.

Why are you laughing?
She has such a dirty mind.

How about Gonda, Tzuki?

-I don't mind supporting a colleague.
-It's 500 Shekels per person.

I was sure they served lunch here.

Dad, if you didn't understand,
it means they weren't clear.

Shmul, what topping...?

Alright, I guess we could go
to the food festival...

...in Carmiel.

They'll have...


Pasta, pizza, schnitzels...

...at a decent level. Gabbi!

Are you up for
a food festival in Carmiel?

He won't get out.

I don't care that he won't get out,
but let's make a decision.

Doch. Doch!

Would you like to decide what to eat
instead of Grandpa?


Who's that handsome grandpa?

I have a surprise for you.

What is it now?

-What's that?
-Just water.

-Oh, okay.
-As if! It's MD.

-What do you want us to do with this?
-Shove it up our ass.

No, that's unnecessary.
Forget about it. No.

-Are you scared?
-No, no.

I just... Well, you know I...

-No, my kids are here.

-This isn't the best time...
-I know.

-They're right across from us.
-So you know...

You do know they serve lunch
at Mitzpe Hayamim, right?

Mitzpe Hayamim is great, it's just...

Come on, for me.

Kinneret, I'm a big boy, I...


Kinneret, my kids are here. Come on.

What's with you?
My grandson is here.

You'll need a blood infusion
in a minute, look at you.

I'll have a little sip.

I was just messing with you,
there's no MD in there.


-I thought...
-Be quiet. I want to get some rest.

There's no soap, only a scrub.

Can I tell you something about your dad?


-But don't freak out.

Come on. Have a seat.

It hurts my feelings that he won't
let me pay for the groceries.

He thinks he always
needs to pay for me.

Trust me, you know,
I've worked enough in my lifetime...

It's probably his way
of being nice to you.

-We said you won't get upset.
-But I'm not upset.

-I'm just responding...
-I can't talk to you about him.

You don't have to keep saying
stupid things all the time.

Who told you you're a genius?
Why would you call yourself a genius?

I said I wasn't a genius.

Right, so no one said
you were a genius.

So? I said the exact opposite.

-You're delusional.
-No, you are.

We were just sitting down,
having some laughs. What is it?

At you.

-They were laughing at you.

I think they were laughing with me.


That anthroposophical thing
is messing with their heads.

Uri, honey...

-Here, this is for the groceries.
-No, no way. What are you doing?

-I told you to stop that.

This place is...

It really is a little...

-A little borderline, isn't it?

-It's great.
-Why? It's cute.

-It's cool.
-It's really cute.

-Well, I think I'll go over there.
-Why? What's the deal?

What is it? You're...

You wanted us all to be together,
you put in the effort,

you know, it's a great place.
What is it?

Maybe I should call her.

- Why isn't there any onion in the salad?
- He asked me not to...

Kinneret asked for that,
she doesn't really like onions.

It's just some onion.

It's just some onion
and just some cucumber,

and it's just some food.

So let's not eat.

So it doesn't have
any onions, come on.

So Tzuki can chop it coarsely

so Kinneret can take out
whatever she doesn't like.

He'll put some in a bowl for you.
Let's not make a big deal out of...

I'm on your side.

I'm on your side.

I don't really mind not having
any onions in it.

That way I can kiss Tzuki later,
but you like onions, too,

it's your birthday and that's the thing,
you like onions.

That's the gist of it.

Excuse me for interrupting
your discussion,

but if this was a hot dish,
I'd get it, I'd agree with you, too,

but it doesn't make any difference
in a cold dish...

Did you hear him?
The chef has spoken.

More like the Pff.

Fine, I'll go get her.

Why is she getting upset?

Honestly, this trip
is kind of a disappointment for me.


There's something not quite...

I don't know how to put it.

Can you try?

I don't know. It's like it's not...

What's the deal
with this place anyway?

Why? My dad made it a point
to pay for the best.


Well, I think they're pretty hungry.

I don't get it, it's so stupid,
for the same price

we could get a shiatsu massage
at Miztpe Hayamim right now.

Well, Tzuki's made
an insane meal for us.

Oh, did Tzuki cook it?

Hey, we don't have a stone wall.

No, it's okay,
we came as couples, you know,

we could have split up for a while.

Okay, but you know,
it's his birthday,

this is more like a family trip,
you're not on vacation in Paris.

You don't say.

He wants everyone
to have a good time,

he wants to spend time
with everyone together.

Gabbi, I may be an idiot,

but I can spend an hour discussing
study interpretation with you.

I can go for hours.

I have a subscription
to a science magazine.

And I got my kids a subscription
for the children's edition.

You should know that I think
intelligence is the sexiest thing ever.

Okay. Okay, guys, I...

- Aren't we waiting for Shmul?
- Let's get started.

First of all, I'd like to thank
our beautiful family for...

For the celebration,

and I'd also like to thank Gabbi
for finding this place.

Oh, was that you?

And thank her for raising
the IQ average in the family.

- Alright, cheers.
- Hold on! And...

And to Tzuki,

for cooking this great meal for us,
despite the rough conditions.

-Thank you.
-And raising the culinary bar.

- The average.
- The meal average.


Yes, it's crazy.

These are all grocery store ingredients,
it doesn't get any poorer than that.

- A real concert.
- What do we chefs do, after all?

We take an egg and crack it,
we take some flour and sieve it.

- It doesn't take a genius.
- Baby.

But who said
you were a genius, Tzuki?

Well, I'm going to check on them.

Oh, is there onions in this?

We used big chunks on purpose,
so you could take them out.

So you knew I don't like it.

Yeah, I know,
I didn't add them, it was...

It doesn't matter who did.

-It's nothing. I'm sorry.

Sorry, I'm just stressed out about Dor,
he's still in the car, the...

Doc! What makes the salivary glands
not to like onions?


Look at him.

Take the onions out
of her gazpacho, too.

I dare you to.

-Would you like an omelet, maybe?
-Tomorrow morning.

-Why don't you go after her?

-What for?
-To apologize.


I think she was offended
by the whole...

-The onion.

She was laughing, enjoying herself.
It's all good.

I don't think so, I don't know,

she really was laughing,
she really was enjoying herself...

I don't know, have you ever seen
an offended person?

I can tell you this.

They don't laugh.

"I'm offended...

-No, if you want me to...
-It's called subtext, honey.

I could go after her if you want,
no problem.

I still don't know what for,
but I'll go after her if you want.

I don't have a problem with it.

-Yes, I want you to.
-Fine. Alright.

Okay, thank you.

Can I finish my bite first?


I just hope they'll come back.

Hello, guys!

What's up?


Don't you guys want
something to eat?


We'll eat later.

What are you talking about?


We'll be right there.

So I'll spend some time with you.


What are you talking about?

Are you in the middle of something?

Yes, sort of.

What are you talking about?

We're talking about something
we don't want to tell you.


Tell me.

-No. No.
-Yes. Okay.

If it's about me, you can tell me.

-It's not about you.

So what is it?

- We just found out...
- No.

- Shh... Well?
- No.

- Come on.
- Don't tell her.

-Go, go, go.
-But you have to swear.

Dor has planned this whole trip
just to...

...meet Yaeli
who goes to school with him.


Who's that?
The family next door?

He's in love with their daughter.

He just planned the whole thing
so he could run into her here.

Hold on. How did he know
she's going to be here anyway?

She told him, so he made up
some story about how he wanted

-to celebrate Grandpa's birthday.
-Oh, my God!

He just arranged himself a trip.


No way!

So why was he sitting
in the car all day?

The moment he saw her,
he got cold feet.

That kid is psycho.

Hold on. But...

Wasn't I the one who planned
for us to come here for Dad?

You planned to go
to Yellowtail by the house.

We pushed for coming here,

because he's been nagging us
for two months now,

"Villa Grande, Villa Grande."

And he insisted that
we did it all two weeks sooner,

because the flowers are in bloom.


- No.
- What?


-I'll kill you.
-Of course not.

-Not a word, He's embarrassed as it is.
-Of course not.

Of course, I swear by Parole.

He's so cute!


Alright, get out of here now.
Give us some slack.



One night after
the Sudanese woman, that Amazon,

already teared me apart any which way,
we were lying in bed,

she looked me in the eye
and asked, "Tzuki,

do you know what's
the most important thing in life?


And do you know what I thought
was the right answer?


I still think that's the right answer.

I think she was very wrong.


Were you sent over to apologize?


Say we went to Mitzpe Hayamim.
So 2,000 Shekels a night,

times three rooms,
that's 6,000 Shekels,

to add another night, 12,000 Shekels.
Not including meals, treats, massages.

-You said you liked Shiatsu?
-I love Shiatsu.

Shiatsu for you, that's 14,000.

Tell me, you delusional girl,

have you ever mopped the floor?

So I'll have you know,

that whenever Magdalena
went to see her family,

first of all,
we gave her presents for them,

and second, my mom and I...

Oh, my God.

Did you know...

...that Dor's arranged this whole trip

just to see this girl from his class
that he's in love with?

He knew she'd be here,

he pretended like he was arranging
a birthday trip for Dad,

but he's just a liar.
We came here for her.

He was sitting in the car all day
because he saw her and changed his mind.

Ask Gabbi.

No, don't ask Gabbi,
because I promised I wouldn't tell.

What a messed up family.

Yes. Gabbi's side is... difficult.

Alright, so can we get out of here now?

Awesome, right.

Those rocks.

Someone needs to paint on those rocks.

Trace. Etch.
What's that caveman thing called?

Wall painting.

No, no. There's a name for it.

I'll ask Dad.

Because he was there.

♪ Love is something you do in pairs ♪

♪ Love is something you do in pairs ♪

♪ Love is something
that happens slowly ♪

♪ Love is something
that happens slowly ♪

Good morning, good morning.

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

What do you know!

I saw you in my dream.

I dreamt about her.

What did you dream?

I can see the trap,

and I choose not to step into it.

What about your little Casanova son?

Did you really expect me
not to tell my boyfriend?

We asked you not to.

But I was very stressed out about...
Fine, never mind.

You didn't even have to do anything.
All you had to do was not do anything.

-I'm sorry.
-Didn't I tell you?

-Let's not talk about it with him, okay?
-Of course.

It's okay, Uri is on it.

He's my boyfriend, of course I told him.

♪ Yaeli, it feels like something
is happening to me... ♪

- Dad!
- Just a minute.

-No, Dad, come here right now.
-Shut up.

You can even, you know,
add a gesture or something.

♪ Love... ♪
You know, like that, as if you're...

-Like you're scattering wheat...

Come here, Dad. Come here a minute.

-We were in the middle of something.
-Come here.

Work on the C part in the meantime.
♪ Yaeli... ♪

-Alright, I'm coming!

♪ Yaeli, I feel like... ♪

- What is it, sweetie?
- What are you guys doing?

We're working on a song for Yaeli.

-He wrote the lyrics.
-Don't start, Dad.

Uri, I promised him
I wouldn't tell anyone.

Is it a secret?

What difference does it make?

It makes a lot of difference,
we asked you not to tell.

But the secret is out, okay?

We each did something

that created a situation
that has revealed the secret.

No, I'm serious.
Kinneret told Dad, and by the way,

I didn't really figure out
what your reason was.

So what exactly is your problem?

I think that what's important right now
is not to embarrass the kid, okay?

This isn't a musical. So just...

I for one think he should
just make a move.

Kids nowadays are horny,
the idea needs some refining.

The idea is refined.

- I can't believe this.
- I...

-You are unbelievable.
-Listen to me.

I think he should go to her,
and ask her to be his girlfriend.

I think the song will do
a wonderful job, you guys are wrong.

No, Dad! It'll make him look
like an overly enthusiastic.

No! He needs to go to her, straight up,
and just tell her he loves her.

Maybe he could masturbate
outside her window, too?

-He should stop giving a damn about her,

-ignore her, as if she was invisible.

-A gust of wind and a plot hole.

Once you give a woman a bone,
she wants the whole cow.

-Not at all. Not true.
-Right, Shmulik?

And I think... Listen,
if she has a good friend with her,

he should hit on the friend
and then she'll fall at his feet.

- Come on, Tzuki...
- Not at all.

-He needs to make her happy.

Although you're wrong, too.
She can make him happy, too.

Why does he need to make her happy?

So maybe he should make her happy
and then a little sad.

Happy, sad. Happy, sad.


-Just give the kid a break.

Let us play you the song and then...

-No! No.

No one say a word.

Someone tells you something,
and it messes you up for life.

Shira Shpigler.

It's the same thing.

Who's Shira?

- Fourth grade, it doesn't matter.
- Here he comes.

He has a beautiful singing voice.

What's up, Dor?

Where do get the fish
for your restaurant?

-For my restaurant? From Miko.

I think that when a boy loves a girl...

Oh, my God!

Alright. Go with the musical.
Good luck.

We're trying to come up
with the best idea for you.

-Dor, do you even want to go up to her?

So go to her, speak from your heart,
and don't make a big deal out of it.

She's a genius.
She's the real genius around here.

-Not me.
-That's what I suggested.

Here, we will stay on the line,

and just... Here, that'll be here,
in your shirt pocket,

and if there's a problem,
we'll help you out.

- What if she hears you?
- She won't.

She won't, we'll be quiet.

But you need to be loud enough
for us to hear you. Okay?

Why do you need
to stay on the line?

-It's only in case of an emergency.

Okay, honey?

What's the matter with you?

Why does he need
to be on speaker phone?

So we can hear him better.

So we need to be on speaker phone.

Both sides need to be on speaker,
it turns the volume up for all...

Gabbi. Gabbi.

It's a psychological thing
about how loud you talk.

-Shmul! Relax.
-On speaker people speak up.

-What are you doing?
-Like my friend, Eli Hazan.

He's a soft talker, he screams
when he's on speaker.

-Alright, be quiet.
-There he is! Cute little thing.

What are you doing?


Can I join you?


Would you like to be my girlfriend?



♪ Love Is something you do in... ♪

Shmul, I didn't mean for him
to sing that song right now.

My advice was very clear, I told him...

Is that the song?

No, I asked him to... Never mind.

- He didn't understand me.
- Dor!


You broke the kid.

My advice was very clear.

Well, I called Mitzpe Hayamim.

That's great.

How much money do you think we have?
Let's say in millions.

-No! Quiet! How much? De facto!

What does "de facto" mean?

- Factually.
- Mm.

Alright, let's get out of here.

Dor, we saw what happened. Tsk.

Your singing was very nice.

-It's Yaeli's mom.
-Don't answer it.

-Answer it. Answer.
-Don't answer it. No, that's enough!

Hello? Yes?

Yes, of course. Of course.

Someone wants to talk to you.


- Dor?

On second thought, I do want to.

Ask her what she wants.

- Ask her what she wants.
- Ask her what she wants.

Come on. "What do you want?"

-"What do you want?"
-What do you want?

- To be your girlfriend.
-Tell her we'll think about it.

No. Say yes. Shut up!

-We'll think about it.

Say yes.

Say yes.

Come on!

-Okay, bye.

Gabbi, what's soft, small
and dysfunctional?

A diabetic's pancreas.

- Think about it.
- Uri!


-Whoa! Hanni!

What are you doing outdoors?

They made me do it.

- What's up?
- Honey! He's grown so much!

How are you?

You know we were
getting treatment in Boston,

Ishai and I, and the kids, too.
That's why we didn't...

- It's okay.
- We wanted to be there so bad at...

- We loved Tammy so much.
- It's okay, you called and...

But she was a wonderful woman,
an amazing woman.

It's nice to meet you.
I'm Tzorad. Hello.

-I know you from TV.
-Hanni, that's mine.


- Kinneret, my girlfriend.
- Hi, it's nice to meet you.

Hi. Hello.

Do you want some water?

♪ We've been through
some things together ♪

♪ With trunks of memories
still to come ♪

♪ We found things to do
in stormy weather ♪

♪ Long may you run ♪