Twin Peaks (2017): Season 1, Episode 13 - Twin Peaks - full transcript

Dougie comes home bearing gifts while Anthony is sent on a risky mission. Cooper's doppelganger wants revenge.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Come in!

- Oh!
- How you doing?

Our new favorite
insurance agency!

Oh, my, God, Battling Bud,
you're the man!

Looks like you boys
made quite a night of it.

Dougie, you might
want to call your wife.


Bushnell, we come bearing gifts,

tokens of our gratitude to you.

What is all this?

A box of
Montecristo Number Twos.

Oh, nice.

A set...

of monogrammed
diamond cuff links.

Oh, they're beautiful.

And the keys to your new car!

A BMW convertible.

Now you and Dougie
have a matched set.


I am speechless.


A wrong has been made right,

and the sun is shining bright.

Ah, thank you, fellas.

I-I have no idea
what happened, Mr. Todd.

Well, this is most unfortunate.

I agree.
I don't know what to say.

But you know what to do.

We talked about this.

I am giving you one day

to remedy this situation.

But you said two before.

One day.

Do we have
a complete understanding?

Yes, sir.


Roger, get in here, please.

Hold on just a minute.

Mrs. Jones?


Uh, where do you want it set up?


Sonny Jim's new gym set,

courtesy of
the Mitchum brothers.

And the car, too?

Mitchum brothers.

Where do you want the gym?


All right.

Let's go.
The backyard.

Oh, Dougie.

When you didn't
come home last night,

I thought the worst.

Look what you've done.

Sonny Jim's in seventh heaven.

- Seven heaven.
- Mm.

And then the car...

Oh, Dougie...

I love you so much.



What's the problem, Ray?

I killed that guy.

He's the one I told you about.

You didn't kill him
too good, Ray.

I will now.

Hey, Ray, you in here somewhere?

And how did he get the code?

I gave it to him.

Came to see you, buddy.

But only to the door.

So he's trapped.

And mine.

All right.

I'll let you have him.

I want to have
some fun with him first.

Bring him up!

Get in the elevator.

Put the gun away, Ray.

What do we have here?

I came to see my friend Ray.

I'm here,

you fuck.

Settle down, Ray.

Looks like we got ourselves
a new contestant here.

Tell him how it works, Muddy.

Real simple.

This man is our boss...

'cause no one can beat him
at arm wrestling.

Imagine all the men
who've tried.

Many, many.

In 14 years,

no one's ever even come close.

Any new guy gets one chance.

One chance.

And if you lose,

Renzo's your boss.

So you can leave now.

If you stay and lose

and you do not do
what Renzo says...

you die.

So you decide.

You stay and play the game.
It's your choice.

Looking at you,

I'd say you better leave.

What is this,


Nursery school?

What do I get if I win?

Then you'd be our boss.

I don't want to be your boss.

But if I win, I want him.

Step inside.

Let's play the game.

That was from
the nursery-school teacher.

Sit down.


Starting position.

Wrestling arm on table.


Doesn't know what he got into.

Other hand cannot touch table.

Hands up!


Do not start until I say.

You ready, boss?


You ready?


Look at him.

Yeah, he's ready.

He's not ready.

Commence arm wrestle!

Ain't touching yet!

Take him out!

Take him down!

Starting positions.

Come on.

- Come on, boss.
- Boss, what are you doing?

Come on, stop
playing around, boss.


- Don't play around, boss.
- Come on, finish him.

Come on, do it!

Starting position's
more comfortable.

Come on, man!

Come on, boss!
Get him!

Don't you fucking move, Ray!

- Oh, come on.
- Come on, boss.

Bring it back,
bring it back, bring it back.

Come on, come on.

It hurt my arm when
you moved it down here.

But it really hurt when
you had it down here.


Doesn't that hurt your arm
when I go like that?

I think it's much worse
when it's down here.

Ah, fuck.

Let's go back
to starting positions.

It's really much
more comfortable.

Take him out now!

You best stay here.

- Finish him!
- Come on!

Take him out!

Oh, shit!


Grab him.

Stand up, stand up.

- Stand up, stay there.
- Shit.

He's all yours, boss.

Give me some cell phones.

Y-you're not gonna
get any reception up here, boss.

Ray and I are gonna
need some privacy.

He's all yours, boss.

Can we talk about this?



Now we can talk.

Do you need any money?


Somebody hired you to kill me.

Who is it?

I can make you tell me.

I know it.

It came through a man
named Phillip Jeffries.

At least that's
the name he gives.

I never met him.

I only talked to him
on the phone.

Keep talking.

He set the whole prison thing up
with Warden Murphy.

Jeffries says
you were gonna kill me.

He said I could get out

and stay out
if I killed you first.


He said that you got
something inside that they want.

Did he ever mention
Major Briggs?


Easy, Ray.

You know I don't have a gun.

I got to show you something.


Jeffries said I was
supposed to put this on you...

after I killed you.

Where did you get that?

It was given to me...

right before I walked
out of my cell and saw you.

Who gave it to you?

A guard.

I don't know.

He was dressed as a guard,
but I'd never seen him before.

Put it on...
Ring finger, left hand.


you know what I want, Ray.

You want the coordinates
I got from Hastings?

Rather, his pretty secretary,

Do you really think
I'm gonna give them to you?

You really think you could even
trust the numbers I give you?

I know who you are.

Can I reach in my pocket?

Depends on what's in the pocket.

The numbers, stupid.

I have the coordinates
written out.

They're in my pocket.


Ray, where is Phillip Jeffries?

I don't know.

Ray, where's Phillip Jeffries?

Last I heard,

he was at a place
called The Dutchman's,

but it's not a real place.

I know what it is.

You went too far.

It's... it's about
two blocks back.

Try to make a U-turn.

Okay, then jus...

Go around the block.
You just missed it.

I'll tell him.

All right.
Bye, Mom.

Drive careful.

Mom wants us to
come to Sunday dinner.

Hopes there's
no murders this weekend.

Fat chance that's gonna happen.

Hey, hey, hey!
She can't piss on the floor!

Get her out of here!

She's still pissing, Phil.

I'll shit in your mouth!

I'll get her.

And she's got a knife!

Fuck you, Twinkies!

I'll cut your nuts off!

Tase her, Tase her!

Phil, Tase her!

Get her out of here.

We want to report a cop!

Take a seat, ma'am.
I'll be with you in a minute.

Got the prints
on our pal Douglas Jones.


According to AFIS, he escaped

from a high-security prison
in South Dakota two days ago.

- What?
- No, it gets better.

He's a missing FBI agent.


That's a huge fucking mistake!


- A dollar?
- Oh, go for it.

- Okay.
- Okay.


- Oh!
- Ah!


All right, all right.

Ex... excuse me?

I-I'm looking
for Detective Clark.

Yeah, he's out back,
grabbing a smoke.

Just through the doors.


Thank you.



- What are you doing?
- I need to ask you a question.

You know you're not
supposed to come here.

I have to ask you a question.

Better be good.

It is.

I need to know a good poison
I could use...


You shit.



Crime labs are
getting wise to it,

but it's your best bet.

Where do I get it?

By paying me
top fucking dollar, cowboy.

Why are you so against me?

'Cause you're
a weak fucking coward.

It makes me sick
just to look at you.

I'm trying to keep
this whole operation

from falling apart.

Somebody's onto us.
That's why I need the stuff.

It's gonna cost you.



It'll do the job,

give you two hours to get away.

It's perfect for
a chickenshit punk like you.

I'll get the money.

Nine-thirty tonight,

outside of Crosley's,

at the back door.

What's up?

He's cracking.

The fuck wants
to poison somebody.

I'll call Mr. Todd.




They don't drink liquor.

They don't drink coffee.

They don't drink Coca-Cola.


they don't even
have sex before marriage.

Yeah, but when
they do get married,

I heard they...
They can marry, like,

six or ten women.

Funny there's not more of them.

I guess it's the drinks.

Oh, Dougie.

Good morning, Dougie.

What do you say

to a nice hot cup of coffee?


It's on me.

Coffee for the great
Dougie Jones.

Dougie Jones.

Here you go.



Hon, you want some cherry pie?

Cherry pie.

Go sit down.
I'll bring you a slice.

Go enjoy your coffee.


Don't worry about it, okay?


there's your coffee.

Your coffee.

Oh, God!

So sorry. I never
meant to hurt anyone.

Here's your cherry pie.

Oh, oh...

That bad, huh?


Dougie, I'm so sorry!

So sorry!



Hey, Becky.


Steven never came home
last night.

That's two nights
that he's been gone.

That's two days, Mom.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

I'm really worried.

Well, maybe he just
needs some time.

I don't know. I think he's
going through something bad.

I can feel it.

Okay, honey,
can we talk about this later?

Hungry customers.


No, you know what?

Why don't you come down here,

and I'm gonna serve you up

a beautiful piece of cherry pie,

a scoop of vanilla ice cream,

and lots of whipped cream.


damn, okay.


That sounds so good.

Okay, I'll be right there.

Okay, hurry up, and we'll find

some time to talk, okay?

Okay, thanks.
I love you.

I love you, too.


I can't believe what I've don...

I can't believe
what I've become.

I tried poisoning Dougie.

He saw right through me.
Oh, God.

He was so kind about it.

I can't believe
what I was about to do.

I have to confess.


I will, Dougie.

I will.


I've been selling you
down the river

for months and months
for Duncan Todd.

I've been working for Todd.


I've lied and cheated for money.


Dougie already showed me.

He explained all this already.

He did?

Now that you're confessing,

I have to admit that my anger,

my contempt for you

is subsiding.

Dougie even implicated himself.

And he showed me
how you manipulated claims,

and you cost me plenty.

I trusted you, Anthony.

I looked at you as my friend

and my number-one
sales agent.

Number-one sales agent.

How can I make it up to you?

I'm so ashamed
of what I've done.

And if it weren't for Dougie,

I might have
a murder on my hands.

Oh, my God, what can I do?

I was prepared to send you away

for a long, long time.


But now...

are you prepared to testify
against Duncan Todd?



Yes, even if
I die in the process.

I haven't slept for weeks.

I vomited blood.
I can't live like this.

I only want to die or change.

Bushnell, please help me.

I only want to make things
right again.

And these two cops
that Dougie found?

He knows about them, too?

Them, too.

They're worse than Todd.

You don't know
what you're asking.


I'm not really asking, Anthony.

I-I only want to fix

this mess I made.

Dougie saved my life.

Thank you, Dougie.

Thank Dougie.

Thank you.

Thank you.

How are you?

How are you?

Hanging in.

I will have the usual.


- Get that right up for you.
- Thanks.

Yeah, no problem.

Hey, Norma.

Shelly go home already?

Yeah, she did.

Oh, okay.

I'll leave you two.

No, no, come
and have some dinner.

I just ordered.

Bobby, get your butt
back over here.

It's no good eating alone.



What's new, Deputy?

Oh, well,

we, uh, found some stuff
that my dad left today.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

What kind of stuff?

Don't know yet, but it...


- Oh.
- You know?



We're gonna check
it out, though.

I'll tell you that.

I'll go bring your dinner, Ed.


You want me to move
to another booth?

So you guys can...?

No reason, pal.
Nothing happening here.

- There you go.
- Thanks, babe.

Hey, you.

Hey, girl.

- Hey.
- Mm.


You two talk business.

We'll move somewhere else.

Good to see you, Walter.

Oh, yeah.
Good to see you, too.

What's his name again?


Ed Hurley.

Oh, right, yeah.

You're looking beautiful.

Well, thanks.

So, uh, to what
do I owe this pleasure?

Norma, I had to make the drive

'cause I got last month's
reports this morning,

and I was so excited
to share them with you.

Tell me.


Three of our five
Norma's Double R franchises

turned a profit.

And that's a huge milestone
for such a new brand,

when this whole region

still faces such
uphill challenges economically.

So that's good?

That's very good.

Looking at what's...


one of the two that's lagging

is this one right here...

Your flagship diner.

Well, business always

takes a little dip
this time of year.

It's been going on
for a few months now.

So I took the liberty

of running
a point-of-sale analysis

between this location
and the others.

I-I can't
really decipher that.

Could you just tell me
what it means?

In black and white,

you're spending too much per pie

and not charging enough.

Well, look, Walter,

I wanted to say this
to you before. It's...

I-I've heard
from other people

that they think that
our pies at the other locations

are just not as good
as the ones we have here.

I hear you.

And I gave them
all my exact recipes,

as per our agreement,

but I don't think
they're following them.

Norma, I assure you

they're following your recipes

to the letter, but also...

per the agreement...

Using their discretion about
where they get the ingredients.

Mm, no.

All my ingredients
are natural, organic, local.

I know.
You make them with love.

But this was our agreement.


you're a real artist.

But love doesn't always
turn a profit.

We believe in you 100 percent,

but from a business perspective,

the board would like you
to consider some alternatives

without sacrificing
any of the high standards

that you're so well-known for.

Well, if you can explain
the alternatives,

I'll... I'll look into it.

Well, look,
I-I don't mean to sound

discouraging one little bit.

This is all good news.

It's just about
tweaking the formula

to ensure consistency
and profitability.

For instance,

we think it's really time
you changed this name

to Norma's Double R.

You know, Walter, in Twin Peaks,

it's been the Double R Diner
for over 50 years,

and that's how people know it.

No disrespect to the Double R,

but you'll recall
our market research showed

people responded
so much more favorably

to your name...

Norma's Double R,
as it should be.

You're the face
of the franchise.

Are we on for dinner later?

To celebrate?

Yes, Walter.


Okay, so, just in case...

I'm sorry.
We're closed.

Oh, my God!


Dr. Jacoby.


- Is that you?
- It's me.

Can I call you
Dr. Amp?

That's me.

I usually leave out the back.

Oh, my God!

I love your show so much.

You have done so much for me.

Well, I love your...
Your window display.


Do you like it?

- Oh, my God.
- Do you really like it?

It... it's magnificent.

And those drapes

are completely silent.

This is my tribute
to you, Dr. Amp.

Thanks to you,

I am really starting
to shovel myself

out of the shit!

Oh, Nadine.

That... that just
means the world to me.

It really does.

You... you know, it's...

It's us against them.

And I am your most loyal
foot soldier...



You know, the...

last... last time
I saw you,

it was about seven years ago.

- You...
- Mm.

You were down
on your hands and knees,

looking for a potato.

Where was I?

It was, uh, you know,
in the supermarket.

You... you had dropped it.

It... There was a...

a big storm that day.


Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

And he finally goes down,
hangs onto the ropes.

Oh, the gentleman
asks him if he's okay.

Looks like, uh, round
number one and two under way.

Now it's a boxing match again.

Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

And he finally goes down,
hangs onto the ropes.

Oh, the gentleman
asks him if he's okay.

Looks like, uh, round
number one and two under way.

Now it's a boxing match again.

Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

And he finally goes down,
hangs onto the ropes.

Oh, the gentleman
asks him if he's okay.

Looks like, uh, round
number one and two under way.

Now it's a boxing match again.

Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

And he finally goes down,
hangs onto the ropes.

Oh, the gentleman
asks him if he's okay.

Looks like, uh, round
number one and two under way.

Now it's a boxing match again.

Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

And he finally goes down,
hangs onto the ropes.

Oh, the gentleman
asks him if he's okay.

Looks like, uh, round
number one and two under way.

Now it's a boxing match again.

Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

And he finally goes down,
hangs onto the ropes.

Oh, the gentleman
asks him if he's okay.

Looks like, uh, round
number one and two under way.

Now it's a boxing match again.

Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

And he finally goes down,
hangs onto the ropes.

Oh, the gentleman
asks him if he's okay.

Looks like, uh, round
number one and two under way.

Now it's a boxing match again.

Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

And he finally goes down,
hangs onto the ropes.

Oh, the gentleman
asks him if he's okay.

Now it's a boxing match again.

Oh, the right hand
catches the big guy by the ear!

What did she say?


we've been over this.

Tell me!


Stop it.

I d...

I feel like I'm somewhere else.

Have you ever had
that feeling, Charlie?


Like I'm somewhere else

and... and like
I'm somebody else.

Have you ever felt that?


I always feel like myself.

And it may not always
be the best feeling.

Well, I'm not sure who I am,
but I'm not me.

This is Existentialism 101.

Oh, fuck you!

I'm serious!

Who am I supposed to trust
but myself?

And I don't even know who I am!

So what the fuck
am I supposed to do?

You're supposed to go
to the Roadhouse

and see if Billy is there.

I guess.

Is it far?

Come on, Audrey,
you know where it is.

If I didn't know better,
I would swear you were on drugs.

Just where is it?

I'm gonna take you there.

Now, are you gonna
stop playing games,

or do I have to
end your story, too?

What story is that, Charlie?

Is that the story
of the little girl

who lived down the lane?

Is it?

You're the one
that wanted to go.

Now you're looking
like you want to stay.

I want to stay,
and I want to go.

I want to do both.

Which will it be, Charlie?


Which one would you be?

Charlie, help me.

It's like Ghostwood here.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Roadhouse
is proud to welcome

James Hurley.