Truth Seekers (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - The Revenge of the Chichester Widow - full transcript

Gus, Elton and Astrid test the channel's live stream in an old insane asylum which is being converted into flats. Wearing helmet cams, they explore while Helen and Richard watch back at ...

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
Aren't you pretty?

- Why are you doing
this to me, you pig?

- What have I done?
- You murdered 12 men.

- Twelve was all I could manage.

- Mary Anne Culford,

you are guilty of 12 cases
of murder.

You will be impaled
on the Heretic's Fork

until you can bleed no more.

- On whose authority?

- God and all that is decent.

- Executing a poor lady
without trial, huh?



That doesn't seem
very decent to me.

Now, what would you know
of decency?

Alone in your carriage?

Tossing off to lithographs
of bums and fannies!

- How could you possibly know?
Silence, witch!

- Give me that back,
you limp cock!

- May God have mercy
on your soul.

- Let me see your eyes,
Dr. Kettering.

Look at me!

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

- Hey. You'll never guess

what dropped onto
my doorstep this morning.



- A two-pack of GPS-capable
WiFi-enabled body-mounted cameras?

- Yeah, yeah, exactly that.

- Are you sure the channel's ready
for us to be doing a livestream?

- Well, Helen seems to think so.

We could test it this afternoon.

- Yeah, but if Dave watches
the feed

and sees that we're not
actually doing our job...

- Dave is a busy man.
He doesn't have time

to sit around on the Internet
watching weird videos.

- All right.
- This is a weird video.

Bjorn! Ah!

Hello, you two.
Um, hands up.

Who knows where Chichester is?
Gus, obviously.

Elton, not so sure.

Doesn't matter,
as long as one of you does.

Smyle is having a big push
in the Chichester area.

Lots of installations
on the job sheet.

- Thought I'd give you first dibs.
- Have a look.

Boring, boring, boring.

- Why does Smyle need
a hundred percent coverage?

- Now, that is a very good
question, Elton. Well done.

- So...

- Oh, yes, it's so that
the customers of Smyle know

that wherever they are
in the UK,

they have a robust
and speedy service.

- Okay. So it's not so
you can control everyone?

- Who gave you that idea?

- I find it ironic that
you work for the very forces

perpetuating our enslavement.

- Smyle.
- Smyle!

- What's the Chichester
Institute?

I thought you'd spot that one.

Uh, formerly the Chichester
Institute for the Criminally Insane,

now being converted into
criminally expensive apartments

for insanely rich people.

- So it's a loony bin
for murderers?

- Well, we can't really
discuss psychiatric facilities

in those terms anymore, Elton.

It's insensitive
to homicidal maniacs.

What do they need?

- It's a site survey
for a full install.

- And that's our job
right there?

- And that is why
you are my number one.

Which reminds me.
I received a lovely thank you.

From the owners
of the "Portland Beacon."

They've even managed to get
their website up and running.

Give us a Smyle, Gus.
You got us to a hundred percent.

- Hey.
- There it is.

Have a great day.

Laters potatoes.

Bjorn!

- Doctor, the weather
forecast is good.

The low front which we were
warned about is headed east...

- Shh, shh, shh.
Stop talking.

Close your eyes.
This is the sacred spot,

a mystical place where
the convergence of ley lines

ensures the barrier
between dimensions is weak.

Can you feel it?

Ancient magic resides
all around us.

An electromagnetic shield

through which the modern world
can never penetrate.

- Oh! I've got four bars!

- What? It's not possible.

What?

- Portland Beacon,
Wendy speaking.

- Wendy, good morning to you.
This is Dr. Toynbee.

- Hello, Doctor.

Lovely speaking with you again.

It's very exciting here
at the moment.

Lots of comings and goings,

as we prepare for the eclipse.

- Wendy, I've just received
an email from you.

Now, I've been a patron of yours
on and off for the last 10 years.

I've never ever received
an email until today.

- It's wonderful, isn't it?

Finally we have a Wi-Fi signal.

- Very modern.

Tell me, what was the problem,
and who was the genius

that brought you into
the digital age?

- Well, we had a visit
from the guys from Smyle.

- Smyle.

Not you.

- These cameras are amazing.

- So tiny.
- Are they?

- There's an earpiece and a
mic, so we can communicate.

And the cameras are geotagged,

so I can keep track of you
all from mission control.

- How many people do you think
will tune into the live feed?

- Maybe, like, ten?

Anything else you need from me?

- Um, could you find a schematic

- from the Chichester Institute?
- Already did.

Found one from the 1960s.

- Very good.

Hey, Dad, we're off.

No pestering Helen today.

Fuck you, four eyes!

- Good. Okay. Let's go.

- Good night, guys.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Bye.

The Chichester
Institute for the Criminally Insane

opened in 1810.

It housed such inmates
as Peter the Camel Killer

and Aaron Kosminski,

thought lately as to be
Jack the Ripper.

- Oh, great.
So not spooky at all then.

- It closed after
the unlawful execution

of serial killer
Mary Culford in 1968.

- Oh, no thanks.
Is that on the brochure?

- No, it's on Wikipedia.

They've got everything on here.

- You'd have to be mad
to live in a place like this.

- Not anymore.

- Hello.
- You're late.

- Only a couple of minutes.
- Well, that's not my problem.

I'm here for 88 minutes. Then it's
the weekend, and I fucking need one.

- All right.
I will see you in 87.

- Just get it done. Okay?

The sooner I can show
this place, the better.

It's been a curse
on my family for years.

That and syphilis.

- Did he say syphilis?

- Come on, guys.

- Come on then.

- Oh, yeah!

Hello. Look at this!

- Ready for more tea
and biscuits?

- Oh, thanks.

Um, would you like to join me?

- Oh, no, I don't want
to be a nuisance.

- No, I'd really appreciate
the company.

It's lonely
helming a livestream.

Oh, tell me about it.

Yeah. What is a livestream?

- Oh! Um, well,
these guys film stuff,

and then I edit it live,

and then I broadcast it
onto YouTube

so that Gus's followers
can watch what's happening.

- So Gus is gonna be
on the tele?

- Sort of.

- Well, I hope it doesn't clash
with "The Chase."

- Yeah. I love "The Chase."

- So what was your favorite
haunting, Gus?

- Wow. What a question.

Um, but I think
pound-for-pound, for me,

um, it has to be the Hinky Boy.

- Hinky Boy?
- Yeah.

It was Emily's obsession really.

She even went
down there a few times.

Young man claims to have seen
an apparition in his basement,

and the world's media
descended upon it.

- What happened to him?

- No one knows.

Emily says the whole family
just disappeared.

- Never seen again.
- Couldn't pay me to live here.

- I would have to pay you
to live here.

I've seen what you earn.

I mean, forgive the assumption,

but I'm guessing you will not
want to do the room to room.

- No, thank you.

I'd much prefer
to stay in the van.

- I'll do it.
- Cool. I'll come with you.

- No, no, no, you made your bed.

And now you're gonna lie in it.

You'll be out in the
"HMS Darkside," all right?

Checking the signal's straight.

Let's go to work.
Okay, here we go.

- On? Right.
- Yeah.

Helen? Are you receiving us?

- Hello, Truth Seekers.

- You receiving me?
- Hey, yeah.

- Hey, Helen.
- Loud and clear.

- Look at that wazzock.

- Dad, I can hear you, you know.
What are you doing there?

- I'm just providing Helen
with some refreshments.

Just trying to be useful.
Is that all right?

- Yes. Yeah, fine.

Just don't get in the way,
all right?

Helen, if he's bugging you,

just send him upstairs
and unplug the stair lift.

And just ignore his whining.
He will get tired eventually.

- All right. Okay.
I have you all on screen.

It's like "Aliens"
when the space marines

are about to enter the nest.

- Uh, and die screaming?
- Yeah.

Why don't you record
a quick intro

which we can play out
before we go live? All right?

- Out-to-in?
- Lovely.

Let's do an out-to-in.

- Okay.
- We're rolling.

- Call it.
- Action.

- Welcome, Truth Seekers.

Gus Roberts here
on the Truth Seekers channel.

We're about to go live
into the former

Chichester Institute
of the Criminally

Insane-sane-sane-sane...

- What an old ham.

- Yeah. I mean, he's trying.

- ...which is almost
certainly haunted.

Psychonauts, I'll see you
on the other side.

Stay on me... Inside.

- Cut.
- Boom.

- It's so good, it's so good.
- Ah!

- I think it's better
than Noel Edmonds.

- Helen? Astrid and I
are now splitting up.

- Okay, all right. Good luck,
guys. Look after yourselves.

- See you on the other side.
- Truth Seekers.

- You get to the van.

- Get to the van.
- Okay.

- Good luck.
- Bye-bye.

- Okay.

Good luck, good luck.

All right.

- I'm switching
to night vision mode.

Night vision mode completed.

- Did you make
that noise yourself?

- No.

- All right.

All right.

Just gonna...

Aah.

- Elton, are you online?

- Yeah, yeah, plugged in.

Plugged in.
How's it going in there?

- Uh, it's pretty spooky.

- Sorry I'm not in there
with you.

- Could you not flirt whilst
we're broadcasting?

It's gross. Mm-mmm.

- What, does that one
fancy that one?

- No, um, we're just,
uh, riffing.

- I'm quite enjoying this show.

Elton, are you receiving
my signal transmissions?

- Uh, yep.
- All good, all good.

Huh.

- Is that Gus's wife?
- Hmm?

Oh, yeah. Emily.

- She looks lovely.

- She was.

- It must have been hard
for Gus when she died.

- It was hard on both of us.
- Dad...

- Can we...
- At least you were there for Gus.

Don't think my mom and dad
were ever interested in me.

Elton got all the attention.

- All?
- I'm not Gus's dad, love.

No, Emily was my daughter.

Did you call him "Dad," Gus?

- I've been calling him "Dad"
for 20 years,

you know, it's not gonna stop
'cause Emily died.

- Soft sod.

I'm so sorry, Gus.

What happened?

- Just... It was a car accident,
you know?

You know what? Let's...

Let's not do this.
Let's do the test, all right?

Let's do the test.

Helen, can you run the intro
clip we made earlier,

- and let's go live.
- Okay.

In about 20 seconds,

the entire Internet is going
to see Truth Seekers

in all their glory.

- Welcome, Truth Seekers.

Gus Roberts here
on the Truth Seekers Channel.

- Gus Roberts?

Let's see what
you've been up to.

- Insane...

A building with a horrendous
and checkered past,

which is almost
certainly haunted.

Psychonauts, I'll see you
on the other side.

- Imbecile.

Did you, now?

- Once Private Atkins' spirit
had been transported

into this ellexatron machine,

he took over the primary
functions of the ellexatron,

and he made sure
no signal got out.

- There's 47 active viewers.
This is great.

@ghostbusters 420 says, "Eek."

And there's a pair of emoji eyes

from JoJo74.

- I wondered whether or not
she would tune in.

Have you got a new girlfriend?

You're kidding me.

- Who'd have me?
- Good point.

What the hell?

Astrid, take it easy.

This building's
older than Richard.

- Helen, are you seeing this?

- Lower your head a bit.

What is all this stuff?

Hope you're up
to date on your jabs.

What's this for?

You getting this?

- Astrid, what is it?
- What am I missing?

Kettering.

That's the name on the dossier.

- Put your camera at the book.

May God have
mercy on your soul.

- Guys. you need to get up here.

I think I found something.

- Uh, hello.
I need to get to Astrid.

Now, tell me, do I go straight
on, or should I go back?

- What's quickest?
- There is no straight-on.

- No, there is a straight-on.
I can see it.

- What?
It's not on the schematic?

- Okay, I'm just gonna
head straight

and see what happens, all right?

- Astrid's the other way, Gus.

- You're gonna get lost,
you silly bugger.

- I'm fine, Dad. I'll be f...

- Gus! Gus!

Astrid, Elton, can you see Gus?

We can't see his feed.

- Gus, you there?

- Elton?
- Uh, negative.

- Gus! Gus!
- Helen?

You getting this? Over.

- Now he's gone.

- Jesus Christ.

- Hey, I can see the property
development guy.

- Oh, okay. Go outside and ask
him if there's been any extensions

or additional building works
since the 1960s.

- Oh, do I have to?
He's horrible.

- Yes, you do. Go on.

Hey, guys,
you getting this?

Anyone topside reading
Papa Bear, come back.

Gee whizz.

Huh?

Who's there?

Bums and fannies!

- Who are you?

Hello?

- Twelve was all I could manage.

- Show yourself.
- Are you the door?

- No, the door's...
- Door's there.

Something woke me.

Someone in this building
can release me.

Let me take my revenge.

Take me with you.

- Hey, I'm flattered, but...

you should know I'm married.

- Oh, you were married.

- What'd you say?
- Poor Emily.

She does miss you so.

How can she possibly know that?

- Oh, she's got a message for you, Gus.
- A message?

She says... they lied.

- Who lied?
- Everybody lies to you.

- Gus?
- The old man

wishes it had been you
and not her.

- The girl is not what she seems.
- Gus!

- And the boy...
Ooh, the boy has lied to you

from the moment you met him.

- What boy? What boy?

- What? I'm having a wank.

- Oh.

Sorry.

Question.

Has there been any
additional building work

- done here since the 1960s?
- No. Why?

- Well, Gus seems
to have discovered

a new part of the building.

- How big?
- What do you mean?

- I mean, is it big enough
for another apartment?

- I don't know.

Show yourself demon.

Help me get my revenge,

and I'll tell you everything.

Maybe even let poor dead
Emily speak again.

Jesus Christ! No!

- What was his last position?

- North corner, basement.

Got it.

Sorry. Hello.

- What's this?
Why's it got my name on it?

- Uh, found it upstairs?

- Where is Gus, Astrid?
- Follow me.

- They murdered me.
- Stay back, Tiny Tim!

- Butchered me.
Without trial.

But I knew they were coming,
so I cast a spell.

It just didn't go according
to plan.

- Please.

- Emily says she never
stopped loving you.

She says help Mary.

She deserves her revenge
so she can rest.

If you love me,
you'd do it, Gus.

- That's where Gus
went straight on.

- Which way? Watch out.

Astrid?

Oh, poor Mary Culford!

- Emily would never help
a psychopath like you!

- Gus!
- Elton!

Get out! Get out!

The doll is possessed.

- What doll?

- Huh?

Cut my wank short for this?

Just a child's toy,
for Christ's sake.

- Think we should go check
on Gus, Mr. Kettering.

Gus!

- They've all gone.
Left me on my own.

Same as always.

- Well, you're not on your own.

You've got me.

Let's go watch "The Chase."

- Don't worry.

You okay to drive?

- Yeah. Yeah.

Of course, I am.

Right. Let's go.

Limp cock.

- You ever had a paranormal
experience?

- What? No.

Have you?

- Elton.
- Hmm?

- And where are you from?
- Leicestershire.

- What happened to you?

- Nothing.
Nothing happened to me.

- Holy shit.