Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 1, Episode 8 - Up the Creek - full transcript

CHRIS: LAST TIME ON

TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND,

THE COMPETITORS WERE FORCED

TO CONQUER THEIR DEEPEST,

DARKEST FEARS.

NOT ALL OF THEM SUCCEEDED,

BUT OTHERS SURPRISED THE GROUP

AND FACED THEIR FEARS HEAD-ON.

IN A SHOCKING TWIST,

TYLER LET THE BASS DOWN

WHEN HE WAS TOO CHICKEN



TO FACE THE CHICKEN.

GET IT?

(LAUGHS)

AND IT WAS BUH-BYE, TYLER.

ONCE AGAIN, THE BASS

FIND THEMSELVES BEHIND.

CAN THEY PULL THIS

ONE OUT OF THE WATER?

FIND OUT TODAY ON

TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.

CHRIS: BASS, GOPHERS,

TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS A TRUE

SUMMER-CAMP EXPERIENCE,

A CANOE TRIP.



YOU'LL BE PADDLING YOUR CANOES

ACROSS THE LAKE...

(SPOOKY VOICE) TO BONY ISLAND.

WHEN YOU GET THERE,

YOU MUST PORTAGE YOUR CANOES

TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND,

WHICH IS ABOUT

A TWO-HOUR HIKE

THROUGH TREACHEROUS,

DENSE JUNGLE.

WE'VE GOT TO POUR WHAT?

-"PORTAGE."

-(FLY BUZZING)

CHRIS: DUDE,

WALK WITH YOUR CANOE.

GEOFF: OH.

WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT THE

OTHER END OF THE ISLAND,

YOU'LL BUILD A RESCUE FIRE

THAT WILL BE JUDGED BY ME.

THE FIRST TEAM TO PADDLE HOME

AND RETURN THEIR

CANOES TO THE BEACH

IS THE WINNER OF INVINCIBILITY.

MOVE, CAMPERS!

MOVE!

OH, WAIT.

ONE MORE THING

I SHOULD MENTION.

LEGEND HAS IT, IF YOU TAKE

ANYTHING OFF THE ISLAND,

(SPOOKY VOICE)

YOU'LL BE CURSED FOREVER.

(THUNDERING)

YEAH!

A CURSED ISLAND.

WOO!

NOW GET IN YOUR CANOES,

AND LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

OWEN: YES!

(TOILET FLUSHES)

WHAT'D I MISS?

CANOES.

CHRIS TOLD US TO PICK

A PADDLE PARTNER.

IT WAS TIME FOR ME

TO MAKE MY MOVE.

IF I COULD JUST GET GWEN

ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES,

I KNEW I COULD WOO

HER WITH MY MANLY CHARMS.

COME ON, GWEN.

YOU AND ME, OPEN WATER,

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

TRENT,

YOU HAVE TO COME WITH US.

(GROANING)

(SIGHS)

FINE, BUT I'M IN CHARGE.

THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT.

YES. YES.

YES. IT IS SO ON.

(IMITATES GUITAR RIFF)

CODY?

HE'S LIKE AN ANNOYING BROTHER.

A REALLY ANNOYING

LITTLE BROTHER.

(IMITATES GUITAR RIFF)

SO MUCH FOR HOOKING UP

WITH TRENT.

(GRUNTS)

JUST FOLLOW MY TECHNIQUE.

I'M 1/87TH CHEROKEE, YOU KNOW.

WHICH MEANS, LIKE,

THE TRIBE COULD TOTALLY,

LIKE, CLAIM ME AT ANY TIME.

LET'S HOPE IT'S TODAY.

COURTNEY!

BE MY PARTNER?

MAN, I THOUGHT BRIDGE

AND I WERE TIGHT,

BUT SUDDENLY I DON'T KNOW,

IT'S LIKE SHE'S FADING ON ME.

NAH.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

HEY, GEOFF, NEED A PARTNER?

EXCELLENT.

YO, MAN.

DO CANOES FLIP OVER A LOT?

NO.

YOU'RE THINKING KAYAKS...

UNLESS WE HIT SOME ROUGH WATER.

WATER CAN GET ROUGH?

OH, YEAH.

SOMETIMES IT CAN GET

TOTALLY RADICAL OUT THERE.

WHEN I WAS 8, MY BROTHERS

DARED ME TO JUMP OFF

THE HIGH-DIVE PLATFORM

AT THE POOL.

I WAS SCARED, BUT I JUMPED.

I WASN'T GONNA

LET THEM CALL ME CHICKEN.

I LANDED ON MY BUTT.

SOUNDS BETTER THAN

A BELLY FLOP, RIGHT?

WRONG.

MY TRUNKS WENT

SO FAR UP MY BUTT,

I HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL

TO GET THEM REMOVED.

THEY INVENTED

A NEW WORD FOR WHAT I DID.

"THE WEDGIE FLOP."

I'VE BEEN AFRAID OF WATER

EVER SINCE.

WOO-HOO!

UGH!

IT'S OKAY.

I'VE GOT IT.

DO YOU WANT MY HELP?

NO, NO.

AAH!

WHOA.

DUDE, RELAX.

WE'RE GONNA BE FINE.

IF THIS CANOE'S A-ROCKIN',

DON'T COME A-KNOCKIN'.

OW! THAT SMARTS!

ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET...

(GUNSHOT)

PADDLE!

THAT'S GONNA PROVOKE

SOME ANGRY E-MAILS.

SO...DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT

SOMETIME?

-NO.

-HOW ABOUT FRIDAY NIGHT?

UH, NO.

SATURDAY'S GOOD FOR ME.

HOW ABOUT SATURDAY?

I'M NOT GOING OUT

WITH YOU, EVER.

OKAY. FINE.

SHEESH.

SO IS SUNDAY OUT

OF THE QUESTION?

(CODY GRUNTS)

GOT IT.

OKAY.

MAYBE SHE WASN'T QUITE

READY FOR THE CODE-MEISTER.

(GROANS)

AND THEN THESE

BUSHMEN TAUGHT US

HOW TO PROPERLY CATCH

AND COOK CROCODILE,

AS WELL AS KOALA.

UH, ISN'T KILLING

A KOALA BEAR ILLEGAL?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

PROBABLY, YEAH. (LAUGHS)

(LAUGHING)

PROBABLY, IT'S ILLEGAL.

YOU DON'T MIND IF I WORK ON

MY TAN, DO YOU?

I DON'T MIND ONE BIT.

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING, DUDE?

I GAVE BRIDGETTE AN AWESOME

GIFT THIS MORNING,

BUT SHE'S BEEN SENDING ME

SOME WEIRD VIBES.

OH, MY GOSH, COURTNEY,

IT WAS SO BAD.

I COME BACK FROM

BRUSHING MY TEETH,

AND I NOTICED SOMETHING

BULGING UNDER MY COVERS.

WHEN I LIFTED THEM,

THERE IT WAS.

(COURTNEY GASPS)

NO!

YES.

I MADE IT IN ARTS AND CRAFTS.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

I DID.

IT GETS WORSE.

ETCHED INTO THE BACK WAS

AN INSCRIPTION THAT SAID--

"I HOPE YOU THINK OF ME

WHENEVER YOU DROP

LOOSE CHANGE INTO THIS."

-NOT GOOD?

-DANG, DUDE.

THAT IS SO BAD, WE NEED

A NEW WORD FOR HOW BAD THAT IS.

SEE, DATING'S LIKE

FEEDING A BUNNY.

YOU WANT THE BUNNY

TO COME TO YOU,

SO YOU DON'T MAKE

ANY SUDDEN MOVES.

"HERE, BUNNY, BUNNY, BUNNY."

YOU DROP A HEART-SHAPED,

HANDMADE CLAY BOWL ON A BUNNY,

AND THE BUNNY'S

GONNA RUN, MAN.

YOU FEELING ME?

SO I SCREWED UP?

YOU SCREWED UP, DUDE.

I THINK I KNOW WHY YOU KEEP

SHOOTING ME DOWN.

IT'S BECAUSE OF TRENT,

ISN'T IT?

LOOK, I'M PRETTY TIGHT

WITH TRENT,

AND I WAS DEFINITELY SENSING

AN "I'M INTO GWEN"

VIBE FROM HIM.

I'LL PUT IN A GOOD WORD FOR YOU,

YOU KNOW?

IF YOU WANT.

WOW.

THAT'S REALLY COOL OF YOU.

AH, WELL.

IF YOU CAN GET US IN THE

SAME BOAT ON THE WAY HOME,

I'LL SO OWE YOU ONE.

INTERESTING

THAT YOU WOULD SAY THAT.

SEE, I'M IN A BIT

OF TROUBLE MYSELF.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, I KIND OF BET OWEN

THAT IF I GOT YOUR BRA,

HE'D DO ALL MY DISHES

FOR THE REST OF THE COMPETITION.

(GRUNTS)

OH!

RIGHT.

ASKING TOO MUCH.

GOT IT.

HEY, WAS THAT THERE EARLIER?

I DON'T THINK SO.

CHRIS: YOU'LL BE PADDLING

YOUR CANOES ACROSS THE LAKE...

TO BONY ISLAND.

OKAY, DID YOU SEE THAT SKULL?

HOW COOL IS THAT?

IT'S LIKE THIS PLACE IS

HAUNTED OR SOMETHING.

(GHOSTLY MOANING)

LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH.

AAH!

I THINK I SAW SOMETHING.

MONSTER BEAVERS!

(SCREAMING)

A REMNANT

OF THE PLEISTOCENE ERA,

THE WOOLLY BEAVER

IS A DAY-ACTIVE RODENT

INDIGENOUS TO BONY ISLAND.

OH, YEAH,

AND THEY'RE MEAT-EATERS.

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

DEAD END.

HEY, THEY'RE LEAVING.

DID ANYBODY PACK A CHANGE

OF UNDERWEAR?

(LAUGHTER)

NO. SERIOUSLY.

(CHUCKLES, FARTS)

ALL: OH.

(BIRDS SHRIEKING)

OH, MAN.

(SCREAMING)

I AM DEFINITELY

GONNA NEED NEW UNDERWEAR.

(BIRDS SHRIEKING)

HMM.

SOMEONE DO SOMETHING.

OH, WAIT.

LOOK!

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

I WAS GONNA MAKE US

A ROMANTIC PICNIC.

WITH BREAD FROM YOUR PANTS?

JUST THROW IT ALREADY.

(BIRDS SHRIEKING)

GWEN: IT WORKED!

COME ON.

THE RACE ISN'T OVER YET.

WE STILL HAVE TO BURN STUFF.

WHICH WAY ARE WE GONNA GO?

LEFT.

DEFINITELY LEFT.

I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE

THE ONE ON THE RIGHT.

THE RIGHT TRAIL IS WIDER.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

(SIGHS)

I CAN SEE THE OTHER TEAM.

THEY'RE TAKING THE PATH

ON THE RIGHT.

THEN LET'S GO LEFT.

WHOA. GUYS, UH, DON'T

WANT TO PANIC HERE,

BUT I'M SHRINKING.

RIGHT.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

WHAT QUICKSAND LOOKS LIKE?

IT LOOKS JUST LIKE SAND!

CAN YOU BELIEVE

THEY FELL FOR THAT?

I SET IT UP, BUT I DIDN'T THINK

ANYONE WOULD WALK INTO IT.

THAT'S JUST GREAT.

(LAUGHS)

OH-OH.

LINDSAY: TRENT'S STUCK!

I'M COMING, TRENT!

NO, DON'T!

OH!

I'M STUCK, TOO!

I SO DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.

HELP!

SOMEBODY HELP US!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

WHOA.

HEY, THANKS, BRO.

YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.

I AM?

MY HERO!

WHERE DID YOU

LEARN TO DO THAT?

YOU KNOW.

I WATCH A LOT OF MOVIES.

THIS IS VERY TOUCHING, GUYS,

BUT WE'VE STILL

GOT A CHALLENGE TO WIN.

CHRIS: JUST WHEN THINGS WERE

LOOKING UP FOR THE BASS...

-UGH!

-CHRIS: DISASTER STRUCK.

OH! MY LEG!

(GASPS)

I'M DOWN! I'M DOWN!

OH, IT'S SO UNFAIR!

WHY DID THIS HAVE

TO HAPPEN NOW?

WHY? WHY?

GEOFF!

YOU'VE GOT TO GO

ON WITHOUT ME.

(MOANING)

WE'RE NOT LEAVING

ANY MAN BEHIND.

NOT ON MY WATCH.

I DIDN'T KNOW

IF I WAS GONNA MAKE IT.

IT WAS TOUCH-AND-GO.

I'VE SEEN SURFERS GET

EATEN BY SHARKS BEFORE,

BUT THIS--THIS WAS HORRIFYING.

THE MAN JUST KEPT GOING.

DUDE'S GOT HEART.

HOW DID THEY DO THAT SO QUICKLY?

NO RULE AGAINST

CARRYING LIGHTERS.

EDGE--

KILLER BASS.

IF YOU TAKE ANYTHING

OFF THE ISLAND,

(SPOOKY VOICE)

YOU'LL BE CURSED FOREVER.

-WHAT'D I MISS?

-CANOES.

THANKS FOR SAVING MY BUTT, MAN.

JUST LOOKING OUT

FOR A FELLOW GOPHER.

-WANT A SIP?

-NO. I'M GOOD.

TRENT, LET'S TALK, MANO-A-MANO.

OKAY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT

TO TALK ABOUT?

GWEN.

SEE, I HIT ON HER,

BUT I STRUCK OUT A--A FEW TIMES.

THE POINT IS SHE'S NOT INTO ME.

SHE'S INTO YOU.

IF YOU'RE LYING, I COULD EASILY

REARRANGE YOUR FACE.

YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

DUDE, BUDDY, WHAT DO I HAVE

TO GAIN FROM LYING TO YOU?

OKAY.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK

I SHOULD DO ABOUT IT?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, TRENT.

HERE'S HOW I'D PLAY IT.

LADIES, ARE YOU ALMOST

FINISHED WITH YOUR TEA PARTY?

WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE

OF A CHALLENGE HERE.

BRIDGETTE, YOU'VE GOT

FIRST-AID TRAINING, RIGHT?

MAYBE YOU COULD CHECK OUT

GEOFF'S WOUNDS.

HE MIGHT HAVE GANGRENE.

OR JUNGLE ROT.

OR ATHLETE'S FOOT.

I OWE GEOFF BIG-TIME.

HE HELPED ME GET OVER

MY FEAR OF WATER.

SO WHEN I SAW HIM

DROWNING WITH THE LADIES,

I HAD TO HELP THE DUDE OUT.

I DON'T THINK THIS IS

GOING TO BE BIG ENOUGH.

YOU HEARD THE WOMAN.

WE NEED MORE WOOD, GUYS.

COME ON. LET'S GO.

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED

TO GET HOME NOW?

THIS OUGHT TO DO THE TRICK.

IT'S A HANDMADE FIRE-STARTER

I MADE FROM

SOME TREE SAP AND SAVED.

STAND BACK, GUYS.

THIS IS GONNA BE BIG.

CHRIS: WOO-HOO-HOO!

WE HAVE

OUR FIRE-BUILDING WINNER.

POINT FOR THE GOPHERS!

WHERE DID YOU

LEARN TO DO THAT?

OH, YOU KNOW, I SPENT A SUMMER

TRAINING WITH THE RESERVES.

YEAH, I GOT INTO SOME

TROUBLE THERE AND, LIKE,

BLEW UP THE KITCHEN

BY ACCIDENT,

WHICH IS WHY THE R.C.M.P.

IS, LIKE, STILL

ALL OVER MY BUTT.

I AM SO TOTALLY AWOL.

CODY: GUYS,

SINCE YOU'RE BOTH A BIT SHAKEN

BY THE WHOLE QUICKSAND THING,

WE SHOULD SPLIT YOU UP.

HOW ABOUT I GO WITH LINDSAY

AND BETH AND GWEN CAN PADDLE

BACK WITH TRENT?

SOUNDS COOL.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA

DO WITHOUT PADDLES?

YOU GUYS CAN GET SOMEONE

TO SWIM BEHIND THE BOATS

AND PUSH THEM.

I DID THIS ONCE FOR HIS HUGE,

LIKE, 60-FOOT YACHT.

THE WHOLE CREW HAD TO

FLUTTER-KICK FOR LIKE EIGHT DAYS

TO GET TO SHORE, AND, LIKE,

FOUR OF US GOT EATEN BY SHARKS.

I DIDN'T. NOT ME.

BUT IT WAS REALLY INSANE.

OKAY, LATER.

AAH!

THAT MIGHT WORK.

WE NEED SOMEONE BIG ENOUGH

TO PUSH ALL THE CANOES BACK.

D.J., YOU'RE THE ONLY

ONE WHO'S STRONG ENOUGH.

YOU CAN'T ASK HIM TO DO THAT.

THE DUDE CAN'T SWIM.

GEOFF, I KNOW

YOU'RE FRIENDS BUT D.J.

IS THE ONLY CHANCE WE'VE GOT.

SHE'S RIGHT.

THOSE SKINNY ARMS

AREN'T GOING TO CUT IT.

-I'LL DO IT.

-(GASPS)

YOU CAN'T SWIM WITH

THAT KIND OF INJURY.

YOU'RE HORRIBLY DISFIGURED.

I CAN DO THIS.

I HAVE TO.

IT WAS ALL UP TO ME.

I NEEDED TO SWIM

LIKE A KILLER BASS SHOULD,

AND NO WEDGIE FLOP

WAS GONNA STAND IN MY WAY.

THAT IS ONE BRAVE MAN.

D.J.! D.J.! D.J.! D.J.!

(CHEERING)

THE BASS ARE THE WINNERS!

(CHEERING)

YOU COST US THE GAME.

-YOU ARE DEAD.

-RIGHT.

OKAY, YOU ARE SO LUCKY

THAT MY LICENSE TO KILL

IS CURRENTLY EXPIRED.

(HOWLING)

AND NOW THE ALWAYS ANXIETY

INDUCING MARSHMALLOW CEREMONY.

WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME,

COME AND GET A MARSHMALLOW.

BETH.

TRENT.

GWEN.

CODY.

OWEN.

HEATHER.

LESHAWNA.

ONE LAST MARSHMALLOW.

THE PERSON WHO DOESN'T GET

THIS MARSHMALLOW WILL WALK OFF

THE DOCK OF SHAME

AND TAKE A RIDE

ON THE BOAT OF LOSERS.

WHO'S IT GONNA BE?

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRLING)

MAN: (ON MEGAPHONE) IZZY,

WE KNOW YOU'RE DOWN THERE.

YOU ARE UNDER ARREST.

YOU MEAN ALL THAT TRASH

YOU WERE TALKING WAS TRUE?

NO, JUST THE R.C.M.P. PART.

SEE YA.

YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!!

(LAUGHING)

WELL, THAT WRAPS THAT UP.

NIGHT, EVERYONE.

NICE.

IS THAT A BRA?

YOU KNOW IT AND YOU KNOW

WHAT THAT MEANS.

ENJOY DISH DUTY MY GOOD MAN.

YOU MEAN IT BELONGS TO--

A GENTLEMAN NEVER

KISSES AND TELLS.

HAVE ANY GLUE?

I WOULDN'T WAIST MY TIME

TRYING TO FIX THAT.

MAYBE I WOULD.

(THUNDERING)