Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 1, Episode 20 - Wawanakwa Gone Wild! - full transcript
The campers are challenged to become Game Wardens and bag a beast.
LAST TIME ON
TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND
AN ESCAPED PSYCHO KILLER
TERRORIZED OUR CAMPERS
WITH HIS
MEAT-MANGLING HOOK
AND MEGA-MURDEROUS
CHAINSAW.
THERE WAS A LARGE
AMOUNT OF SCREAMING,
ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING
THE WHOLE THING WAS REALLY
JUST AN ELABORATE PUNK.
OOH-OOH-OOH.
I LOVE THIS PART.
DUNCAN WAS THE ONLY ONE
TO PSYCH OUT THE PSYCHO,
BUT ULTIMATE VICTORY
WENT TO GWEN,
WHO SOMEHOW ENDED UP
IN THE KITCHEN
WITH AN ACTUAL PSYCHO,
WHICH LEFT D.J.
THE CHICKEN-HEART TO FLOAT
THE LOSER BOAT HOME.
ONLY SEVEN CAMPERS REMAIN.
WHO WILL WIN?
WHO WILL LOSE?
OW!
WHO WILL NEED
A RABIES SHOT,
THANKS TO THIS
UNGRATEFUL LITTLE--
FIND OUT ON THIS EPISODE OF
TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
WILDFLOWERS FOR A WILD
AND CRAZY GAL?
OH, YEAH?
AS IN THE KIND YOU ABANDON
AND LEAVE FOR DEAD
IN THE HANDS OF
A CHAINSAW-WIELDING
PSYCHO KILLER
WITH A HOOK?
ME? ABANDON YOU?
NEVER. NEVER EVER.
WASN'T THERE
JUST A 300-POUND
BAG OF JOY TALKING TO YOU?
I'M ONLY 296!
SOMEONE SET A TRAP...
OR TWO.
CHRIS: GOOD MORNING,
CAMPERS!
OR SHOULD I SAY TRAPPERS?
READY FOR
TODAY'S CHALLENGE?
EXCELLENT.
THEN LET'S CHAT ABOUT IT
OVER CHOW,
SHALL WE?
HE'S COMING BACK TO
UNTRAP US, RIGHT?
-(SIGHS)
-GOOD AIM.
PASTE?
CAMPERS, THERE ARE
ONLY SEVEN OF YOU LEFT ON
TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
AFTER TONIGHT'S
DRAMATIC BONFIRE CEREMONY,
ONLY SIX OF YOU
WILL REMAIN.
WE'RE NEARING THE END, PEOPLE,
SO LOOK ALIVE.
WHAT ARE MY CHANCES
OF WINNING?
I'D SAY
THEY'RE PRETTY DARN GREAT
BECAUSE ANYONE WHO DOESN'T
VOTE FOR ME IS A DEAD MAN.
ARE YOU LISTENING OUT THERE,
ALL OF YOU
WHO HAVE BEEN KICKED OFF?
IF YOU DON'T VOTE FOR ME,
I'LL FIND YOU.
I AM SO STOKED.
THE FINAL SEVEN AND I'M GOING
ALL THE WAY, DUDES.
WOO-HOO!
I THINK I GOT
A GOOD SHOT AT WINNING.
HECK, I WON STUDENT COUNCIL
PRESIDENT TWO YEARS RUNNING,
AND I DIDN'T EVEN
GIVE A SPEECH!
I CAN DO THIS, MAN.
WOO!
TODAY'S CHALLENGE
INVOLVES MAKING LIKE
OUR PROVINCE'S GREAT RANGERS
AND GAME WARDENS.
YOU'LL EACH HAVE 8 HOURS
TO TRAP AN ANIMAL.
GOT ONE.
A WILD ANIMAL,
WHICH YOU MUST BRING BACK
TO THE CAMPFIRE, UNHARMED.
RANGERS AND GAME WARDENS
OFTEN HAVE TO RELOCATE ANIMALS
FOR THEIR OWN GOOD
AND THE GOOD OF CAMPERS.
GIRL: OW! GET OFF!
FOR MY GOOD,
I MIGHT HAVE TO BARBECUE
MY ANIMAL.
I'M STARVING TO DEATH.
FUNNY YOU SHOULD
MENTION THAT, GWEN.
REWARD FOR WINNING
TODAY'S CHALLENGE
IS A MEAL OF ALL OF YOUR
FAVORITE FOODS.
I AM SO WINNING.
SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA
EAT THAT?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M IN THE FINAL SEVEN.
CAN YOU IMAGINE ME,
WINNING?
HA-HA-HA-HO!
THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
WOO-HOO-HOO!
EVERYONE ELSE HERE
TOTALLY DESERVES IT
MORE THAN I DO, THOUGH,
EXCEPT HEATHER.
SHE'S REALLY MEAN.
I'M NOT AFRAID OF HER,
THOUGH.
-HEATHER: OWEN?
-AAH!
(KNOCKING ON THE DOOR)
HEATHER: ARE YOU ALMOST
FINISHED IN THERE?
JUST ABOUT DONE.
(ANIMAL HOOTS)
EVERYONE,
CHOOSE AN ANIMAL
ASSIGNMENT.
CHIPMUNK.
FROG.
RACCOON.
DUCK.
BEAVER.
DEER. YES!
BAGGING A DOE.
BEAR?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
IT'S THE ONLY ANIMAL LEFT.
THESE DEGENERATES GET
CUTE LITTLE FROGGY
AND WEE BABY DUCKY
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO TRAP
A BEAR WITH MY BARE HANDS?
YOU DO GET 60 SECONDS
IN THE BOATHOUSE
TO GATHER ANY EQUIPMENT
THAT MIGHT HELP.
UNLESS THERE'S
AN ANIMAL TRAINER
AND A ZEBRA CARCASS
IN THERE,
I DON'T THINK
IT'LL BE ADEQUATE.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
I DON'T THINK
I'VE MENTIONED THE PENALTY YET.
HEATHER:
I DON'T CARE. I'LL TAKE IT.
LOSER CLEANS
THE COMMUNAL WASHROOMS.
SORRY.
I THINK I ATE TOO MUCH OF
THAT DELICIOUS PASTE.
(FARTS)
ALL RIGHT, CAMPERS.
YOU HAVE JUST ONE MINUTE
IN THE BOATHOUSE
TO GRAB YOUR
CRITTER-CATCHING GEAR.
UH, YOU'RE GONNA TRAP A RACCOON
WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER?
HEATHER: YOU MAY
WANT TO RETHINK THAT.
AH, THANKS FOR THE TIP.
AAH! OW!
I GOT PAPER TOWELS!
YEAH! WOO!
A BURLAP SACK?
YOU SHOULD PATENT THAT.
10 SECONDS REMAINING.
HA HA HA HA!
EXCUSE ME.
PARDON. COMING THROUGH.
IS THAT LEGAL?
CAN SHE JUST--
OH.
DUCK BAIT.
YEAH, THAT'LL WORK.
AAH!
I THINK
THERE'S STILL FISH IN HERE.
THE NET'S ALL YOURS.
AND P.S.,
IT'LL NEVER HOLD A BEAR.
I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS I HAVE A CHANCE.
LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY.
IF I DIDN'T THINK I COULD WIN,
DO YOU REALLY THINK
I WOULD BE IN THIS DUMP?
PUTTING UP
WITH THE REVOLTING FOOD,
GIANT BUGS,
AND CAMERAS IN YOUR FACE
ALL DAY IS ONE THING.
BUT HEATHER?
ONLY $100,000
COULD MAKE ME LIVE WITH HER.
I ASSUME
I'M THE FAVORITE TO WIN.
I MEAN, LOOK WHO'S LEFT.
WEIRD GOTH GIRL,
A CRIMINAL,
A FART MACHINE,
A PARTY DUDE,
A PSYCHO HOSE BEAST,
AND LESHAWNA.
AND THE ONLY THING
SHE HAS GOING FOR HER IS
THAT SHE HASN'T
MADE ANY ENEMIES.
WHOOP-DE-DO!
WE'RE NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.
WE ARE HERE TO WIN.
AND THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT I PLAN ON DOING.
HEY, BUMPER THINGIES,
OLD SANDWICH,
A STICK, BIG, NASTY HOOK.
SCORE!
TRANQUILIZER GUN!
GUYS, LOOK!
COULD YOU PLEASE
AIM THE OTHER WAY?
EVERYBODY READY?
ALL: YES.
NO.
GAME ON.
SEE, NOW HEATHER--
SHE WAS MY COMPETITION.
AND AS MUCH AS
IT MADE ME WANT TO HURL,
I KNEW I HAD TO GET ON HER
GOOD SIDE.
YOU CAN BORROW MY CHAINSAW
AFTER I'M DONE.
GREAT.
THE BEAR CAN USE IT
TO SKIN ME ALIVE
AFTER HE'S FINISHED
MAULING ME.
THANKS.
WELL, I DID PICK SOMETHING UP
THAT MIGHT HELP YOU.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT
TO HELP ME?
BECAUSE IF YOU TEAM UP WITH ME,
I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE FINAL TWO.
NOT INTERESTED.
SUIT YOURSELF.
I USUALLY DO.
SHE'LL BE BACK.
JUST WAIT.
(BIRDS SCREECHING)
COME HERE, DUCKY, DUCKY.
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
COME AND GET IT.
UH, LAST TIME I CHECKED,
DUCKS WADDLED.
THIS IS GONNA BE WAY
TOO EASY.
I THINK I GOT AS GOOD A SHOT
OF WINNING AS ANYONE ELSE,
AND I'M NOT GONNA LET ANYTHING
STAND IN MY WAY, Y'ALL.
I'VE JUST GOT TO KEEP
WINNING INVINCIBILITY
SO THAT COW HEATHER
CAN'T VOTE ME OFF.
MANIPULATIVE PAIN
IN MY BUTT'S BEEN TRYING TO
GET RID OF ME FOR WEEKS.
(CROAKS)
YEAH.
FROGGY GONNA PAY.
AHEM. LOOK.
I'M NO BEAR WHISPERER,
BUT I'VE GOT SOME GARBAGE HERE.
SO JUST COME AND GET IT.
HELLO!
I DON'T HAVE ALL--
(GROWLS)
HEY, BUDDY.
HEY, LITTLE PAL.
COME ON.
LET'S GO FOR A WALK.
(CHITTERING)
OH, SO THAT'S
HOW IT'S GONNA BE.
I DIDN'T WANT IT
TO COME TO THIS BUT...
THAT'S MORE THAN
WHAT MEETS THE EYE.
BANZAI!
WHOOPS.
OH, MY GOSH,
I SHOULD TOTALLY WIN.
OKAY, YOU KNOW THAT TIME
I DRESSED UP AS A BEAR AND LIKE,
SCARED EVERYONE,
AND I WAS LIKE, "RRR."
AND THEY WERE LIKE,
"AAH! SAVE ME!"
WELL, IF SOMEONE ELSE
DRESSED UP AS A BEAR,
AND IT WASN'T ME,
I TOTALLY WOULDN'T HAVE
BEEN SCARED.
I WOULD HAVE KNOWN
WHICH MAKES ME
SMARTER THAN THEY ARE.
OH, DID I MENTION
I HAVE AN I.Q. OF 188?
BECAUSE I DO.
HEATHER, WAIT UP.
(QUACKING)
HMM!
I HATE THIS FREAKING SHOW.
AAH!
AAH!
OOH!
THE NATURALIST
IS AT ONE WITH THE WILD.
HE IS PART OF IT.
MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH HIS
FELLOW CREATURES CREATES PEACE,
CREATES BROTHERHOOD.
WE ARE ONE,
LITTLE FELLOW, YES.
WE ARE ONE.
AND YOU'RE THE ONLY THING
STANDING BETWEEN
ME AND VICTORY.
STILL, I LOVE YOU.
AAH!
THAT SMARTS!
AAH!
(WHINNIES)
WHOOPS.
A BEAR.
A BEAR?
I MEAN, HOW ON EARTH
AM I SUPPOSED TO CATCH A BEAR?
GWEN: OPEN THE CAGE,
OPEN THE CAGE!
YES!
I WIN THE DINNER.
YES!
BRING ME DUCK SOUP,
PEKING DUCK,
DUCK A L'ORANGE,
CHOCOLATE MOUSSE.
NO, CHOCOLATE DUCK.
I WIN!
DUNCAN: OPEN THE CAGE!
(QUACKS)
(CHITTERS)
HA!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
GWEN WON ALREADY.
(LAUGHS) HEY, HOST MAN,
BRING ON THE CHOW.
CHRIS: DON'T FORGET.
LAST CAMPER TO CATCH THEIR
CRITTER CLEANS THE WASHROOM.
WELL, I'VE GOT
NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
I COULD HELP YOU
BAG A BEAR, DEER.
HE'S EVIL,
MANIPULATIVE, SKETCHY,
AND COMPLETELY
UNPREDICTABLE.
I LIKE THE WAY HE THINKS.
AND SINCE I'M SERIOUSLY
IN THE MARKET
FOR A NEW ALLIANCE,
BRING ON MR. DELINQUENT.
OOH.
BEAVERS,
DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY.
YOU WOULDN'T
LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY.
(YELLS)
WHOOPS.
YEAH, GENIUS RUNS IN MY FAMILY,
AND PSYCHOTHERAPY.
ONCE AT MY FAMILY BARBECUE,
MY UNCLE CUT OFF HIS EAR
WITH A STEAK KNIFE
TO EMULATE VAN GOGH
BECAUSE HE'S, LIKE,
ALL ARTISTIC,
BUT HE CHICKENED OUT
AND ONLY CUT HALF OF IT OFF!
IT WAS JUST LIKE,
HANGING THERE!
IT WAS SO GROSS!
I SWEAR, I THINK SOME OF
IT ENDED UP IN MY SALAD.
(CROAK)
COME ON, FROGGY, IT'S GOUDA.
OH, NO, YOU ARE NOT
TRICKING ME, FROGGY.
I'M NOT COMING OVER THERE.
YOU WANT THIS CHEESE,
YOU ARE COMING OVER HERE.
OKAY, ONE MORE STEP.
BUT THAT'S IT.
UGH!
FROGGY, BE PLAYING
WITH THE WRONG SISTER!
THE NATURALIST WOULD LIKE
THE CHIPMUNK
TO LISTEN TO REASON.
THE NATURALIST
WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT
THAT WE'RE ALL ONE IN
THE EYES OF MOTHER NATURE.
ONE LOVE, CHIPPY.
OOH!
WORK WITH ME.
YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
HERE.
NO, NO.
SEE, THE THING
THAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN
IS I AGREE TO BE IN
AN ALLIANCE WITH YOU,
AND YOU HELP ME
CATCH THE BEAR.
WHAT DOESN'T HAPPEN IS
I WEAR A REINDEER COSTUME.
HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?
ALSO, YOU DON'T ASK ME
A GAZILLION STUPID QUESTIONS.
YOU PUT THESE ON,
THE BEAR THINKS YOU'RE A DEER.
YOU RUN AWAY AND LEAD HIM
TOWARDS THE CAMPGROUND.
HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?
I BET YOU'RE FASTER.
BUT WHAT I WILL
DO IS FOLLOW.
JUST GUIDE THE BEAR
INTO THE CAGE.
I BET MOST OF THE OTHER MORONS
HAVE ALREADY GOT THEIR
ANIMALS BACK TO CAMP.
YOU DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF TIME.
IT'S WHAT
THEY CALL A WIN-WIN.
SHE SUCCEEDS,
AND I HAVE AN ALLIANCE.
SHE LOSES,
AND SHE GETS EATEN BY A BEAR.
WOW, THAT ALL LOOKS GOOD!
GEOFF:
OPEN THE CAGE!
HEY, MAN, IMPRESSIVE.
AND NO RABIES.
I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU GUYS.
HUH, I GUESS
THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS.
IZZY:
I GOT IT.
IT MAY HAVE BEEN A SLOW START,
BUT I FINALLY GOT IT.
IZZY'S A SHARPSHOOTER.
BANZAI.
YES. (LAUGHS)
(BEAR ROARS)
HAVE YOU SEEN HEATHER?
WHO?
ABOUT YAY TALL, LONG,
DARK HAIR, HOT,
WEARING DEER ANTLERS.
WHOOPS.
SO...WHAT ARE
YOU HAVING FIRST?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE TO START.
OWEN: WOO-HOO!
CHRIS, OPEN THE CAGE!
A NATURALIST
WILL NOT BE DEFEATED.
CLOSE THE CAGE!
YOU SURE?
CLOSE IT!
WHY, HELLO, DUCKY.
OH, AND WHAT A NICE,
LITTLE RACCOON YOU ARE,
NEXT TO THE SWEET BEAVERS.
OW!
I'M THE NATURALIST!
YOU, UH, SURE YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO TO THE INFIRMARY
TO GET YOUR BUTT DART REMOVED?
NOT UNTIL PSYCHO
HOSE BEAST GOES DOWN.
CHRIS: YOU'VE ALL CAST YOUR
VOTES AND MADE YOUR DECISION.
WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME,
COME UP AND CLAIM
YOUR MARSHMALLOW.
THE CAMPER
WHO DOES NOT RECEIVE
A MARSHMALLOW TONIGHT
MUST IMMEDIATELY
RETURN TO THE DOCK OF SHAME
TO CATCH THE BOAT OF
LOSERS AND LEAVE.
THAT MEANS
YOU'RE OUT OF THE CONTEST,
AND YOU CAN'T
COME BACK, EVER.
ONE THING I'LL BE HAPPY
TO NEVER SEE AGAIN?
CHEF'S FOOD.
DEFINITELY THE FOOD.
-THE FOOD.
-THAT IS THE RANKEST--
STINKIEST--
NASTIEST--
-GROSSEST--
-OLDEST--
MOLDIEST
-BLANDEST--
-BADDEST--
MOST DISGUSTING SLOP
I HAVE EVER HAD TO EAT.
OH, AND THE BATHROOMS?
DID YOU SEE THOSE STALLS?
I DON'T THINK THEY'VE
BEEN CLEANED IN--
35 YEARS!
WOW-WHEE, THEY STINK!
OH, AND I MEAN STINK.
THE FIRST MARSHMALLOW
GOES TO...
GEOFF.
OWEN.
LESHAWNA.
DUNCAN.
HEATHER.
ONE MARSHMALLOW,
TWO PLAYERS.
IZZY, GWEN, ONE OF YOU HAS
SPENT YOUR LAST NIGHT
ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
JUST GIVE IT
TO GWEN ALREADY.
EH.
OH, WE'VE ALL GOT
TO GO SOMETIME, RIGHT?
YOU COULD MAKE OUT
WITH ME FIRST,
IF THAT WOULD
CUSHION THE BLOW.
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
THANKS FOR COMING OUT!
BEING THE LOSER,
YOU REALIZE
YOU STILL HAVE SOME
UNFINISHED BUSINESS.
DUNCAN,
I REQUIRE YOUR SERVICES.
DUNCAN: AH,
THE SHOWER IS DISGUSTING.
LESHAWNA TOOK, LIKE,
THREE FROGGY MUD RINSES TODAY.
DON'T FORGET
TO SCRUB THE GROUT
WITH GWEN'S TOOTHBRUSH.
WHY DID LESHAWNA--
AAH.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR PARALYSIS?
IT'S COMING BACK SLOWLY,
LIKE THE MEMORIES OF YOU
GETTING ME SHOT,
SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER,
EVER BE ALLOWED TO FORGET.
TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND
AN ESCAPED PSYCHO KILLER
TERRORIZED OUR CAMPERS
WITH HIS
MEAT-MANGLING HOOK
AND MEGA-MURDEROUS
CHAINSAW.
THERE WAS A LARGE
AMOUNT OF SCREAMING,
ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING
THE WHOLE THING WAS REALLY
JUST AN ELABORATE PUNK.
OOH-OOH-OOH.
I LOVE THIS PART.
DUNCAN WAS THE ONLY ONE
TO PSYCH OUT THE PSYCHO,
BUT ULTIMATE VICTORY
WENT TO GWEN,
WHO SOMEHOW ENDED UP
IN THE KITCHEN
WITH AN ACTUAL PSYCHO,
WHICH LEFT D.J.
THE CHICKEN-HEART TO FLOAT
THE LOSER BOAT HOME.
ONLY SEVEN CAMPERS REMAIN.
WHO WILL WIN?
WHO WILL LOSE?
OW!
WHO WILL NEED
A RABIES SHOT,
THANKS TO THIS
UNGRATEFUL LITTLE--
FIND OUT ON THIS EPISODE OF
TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
WILDFLOWERS FOR A WILD
AND CRAZY GAL?
OH, YEAH?
AS IN THE KIND YOU ABANDON
AND LEAVE FOR DEAD
IN THE HANDS OF
A CHAINSAW-WIELDING
PSYCHO KILLER
WITH A HOOK?
ME? ABANDON YOU?
NEVER. NEVER EVER.
WASN'T THERE
JUST A 300-POUND
BAG OF JOY TALKING TO YOU?
I'M ONLY 296!
SOMEONE SET A TRAP...
OR TWO.
CHRIS: GOOD MORNING,
CAMPERS!
OR SHOULD I SAY TRAPPERS?
READY FOR
TODAY'S CHALLENGE?
EXCELLENT.
THEN LET'S CHAT ABOUT IT
OVER CHOW,
SHALL WE?
HE'S COMING BACK TO
UNTRAP US, RIGHT?
-(SIGHS)
-GOOD AIM.
PASTE?
CAMPERS, THERE ARE
ONLY SEVEN OF YOU LEFT ON
TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
AFTER TONIGHT'S
DRAMATIC BONFIRE CEREMONY,
ONLY SIX OF YOU
WILL REMAIN.
WE'RE NEARING THE END, PEOPLE,
SO LOOK ALIVE.
WHAT ARE MY CHANCES
OF WINNING?
I'D SAY
THEY'RE PRETTY DARN GREAT
BECAUSE ANYONE WHO DOESN'T
VOTE FOR ME IS A DEAD MAN.
ARE YOU LISTENING OUT THERE,
ALL OF YOU
WHO HAVE BEEN KICKED OFF?
IF YOU DON'T VOTE FOR ME,
I'LL FIND YOU.
I AM SO STOKED.
THE FINAL SEVEN AND I'M GOING
ALL THE WAY, DUDES.
WOO-HOO!
I THINK I GOT
A GOOD SHOT AT WINNING.
HECK, I WON STUDENT COUNCIL
PRESIDENT TWO YEARS RUNNING,
AND I DIDN'T EVEN
GIVE A SPEECH!
I CAN DO THIS, MAN.
WOO!
TODAY'S CHALLENGE
INVOLVES MAKING LIKE
OUR PROVINCE'S GREAT RANGERS
AND GAME WARDENS.
YOU'LL EACH HAVE 8 HOURS
TO TRAP AN ANIMAL.
GOT ONE.
A WILD ANIMAL,
WHICH YOU MUST BRING BACK
TO THE CAMPFIRE, UNHARMED.
RANGERS AND GAME WARDENS
OFTEN HAVE TO RELOCATE ANIMALS
FOR THEIR OWN GOOD
AND THE GOOD OF CAMPERS.
GIRL: OW! GET OFF!
FOR MY GOOD,
I MIGHT HAVE TO BARBECUE
MY ANIMAL.
I'M STARVING TO DEATH.
FUNNY YOU SHOULD
MENTION THAT, GWEN.
REWARD FOR WINNING
TODAY'S CHALLENGE
IS A MEAL OF ALL OF YOUR
FAVORITE FOODS.
I AM SO WINNING.
SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA
EAT THAT?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M IN THE FINAL SEVEN.
CAN YOU IMAGINE ME,
WINNING?
HA-HA-HA-HO!
THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
WOO-HOO-HOO!
EVERYONE ELSE HERE
TOTALLY DESERVES IT
MORE THAN I DO, THOUGH,
EXCEPT HEATHER.
SHE'S REALLY MEAN.
I'M NOT AFRAID OF HER,
THOUGH.
-HEATHER: OWEN?
-AAH!
(KNOCKING ON THE DOOR)
HEATHER: ARE YOU ALMOST
FINISHED IN THERE?
JUST ABOUT DONE.
(ANIMAL HOOTS)
EVERYONE,
CHOOSE AN ANIMAL
ASSIGNMENT.
CHIPMUNK.
FROG.
RACCOON.
DUCK.
BEAVER.
DEER. YES!
BAGGING A DOE.
BEAR?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
IT'S THE ONLY ANIMAL LEFT.
THESE DEGENERATES GET
CUTE LITTLE FROGGY
AND WEE BABY DUCKY
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO TRAP
A BEAR WITH MY BARE HANDS?
YOU DO GET 60 SECONDS
IN THE BOATHOUSE
TO GATHER ANY EQUIPMENT
THAT MIGHT HELP.
UNLESS THERE'S
AN ANIMAL TRAINER
AND A ZEBRA CARCASS
IN THERE,
I DON'T THINK
IT'LL BE ADEQUATE.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
I DON'T THINK
I'VE MENTIONED THE PENALTY YET.
HEATHER:
I DON'T CARE. I'LL TAKE IT.
LOSER CLEANS
THE COMMUNAL WASHROOMS.
SORRY.
I THINK I ATE TOO MUCH OF
THAT DELICIOUS PASTE.
(FARTS)
ALL RIGHT, CAMPERS.
YOU HAVE JUST ONE MINUTE
IN THE BOATHOUSE
TO GRAB YOUR
CRITTER-CATCHING GEAR.
UH, YOU'RE GONNA TRAP A RACCOON
WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER?
HEATHER: YOU MAY
WANT TO RETHINK THAT.
AH, THANKS FOR THE TIP.
AAH! OW!
I GOT PAPER TOWELS!
YEAH! WOO!
A BURLAP SACK?
YOU SHOULD PATENT THAT.
10 SECONDS REMAINING.
HA HA HA HA!
EXCUSE ME.
PARDON. COMING THROUGH.
IS THAT LEGAL?
CAN SHE JUST--
OH.
DUCK BAIT.
YEAH, THAT'LL WORK.
AAH!
I THINK
THERE'S STILL FISH IN HERE.
THE NET'S ALL YOURS.
AND P.S.,
IT'LL NEVER HOLD A BEAR.
I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS I HAVE A CHANCE.
LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY.
IF I DIDN'T THINK I COULD WIN,
DO YOU REALLY THINK
I WOULD BE IN THIS DUMP?
PUTTING UP
WITH THE REVOLTING FOOD,
GIANT BUGS,
AND CAMERAS IN YOUR FACE
ALL DAY IS ONE THING.
BUT HEATHER?
ONLY $100,000
COULD MAKE ME LIVE WITH HER.
I ASSUME
I'M THE FAVORITE TO WIN.
I MEAN, LOOK WHO'S LEFT.
WEIRD GOTH GIRL,
A CRIMINAL,
A FART MACHINE,
A PARTY DUDE,
A PSYCHO HOSE BEAST,
AND LESHAWNA.
AND THE ONLY THING
SHE HAS GOING FOR HER IS
THAT SHE HASN'T
MADE ANY ENEMIES.
WHOOP-DE-DO!
WE'RE NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.
WE ARE HERE TO WIN.
AND THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT I PLAN ON DOING.
HEY, BUMPER THINGIES,
OLD SANDWICH,
A STICK, BIG, NASTY HOOK.
SCORE!
TRANQUILIZER GUN!
GUYS, LOOK!
COULD YOU PLEASE
AIM THE OTHER WAY?
EVERYBODY READY?
ALL: YES.
NO.
GAME ON.
SEE, NOW HEATHER--
SHE WAS MY COMPETITION.
AND AS MUCH AS
IT MADE ME WANT TO HURL,
I KNEW I HAD TO GET ON HER
GOOD SIDE.
YOU CAN BORROW MY CHAINSAW
AFTER I'M DONE.
GREAT.
THE BEAR CAN USE IT
TO SKIN ME ALIVE
AFTER HE'S FINISHED
MAULING ME.
THANKS.
WELL, I DID PICK SOMETHING UP
THAT MIGHT HELP YOU.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT
TO HELP ME?
BECAUSE IF YOU TEAM UP WITH ME,
I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE FINAL TWO.
NOT INTERESTED.
SUIT YOURSELF.
I USUALLY DO.
SHE'LL BE BACK.
JUST WAIT.
(BIRDS SCREECHING)
COME HERE, DUCKY, DUCKY.
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
COME AND GET IT.
UH, LAST TIME I CHECKED,
DUCKS WADDLED.
THIS IS GONNA BE WAY
TOO EASY.
I THINK I GOT AS GOOD A SHOT
OF WINNING AS ANYONE ELSE,
AND I'M NOT GONNA LET ANYTHING
STAND IN MY WAY, Y'ALL.
I'VE JUST GOT TO KEEP
WINNING INVINCIBILITY
SO THAT COW HEATHER
CAN'T VOTE ME OFF.
MANIPULATIVE PAIN
IN MY BUTT'S BEEN TRYING TO
GET RID OF ME FOR WEEKS.
(CROAKS)
YEAH.
FROGGY GONNA PAY.
AHEM. LOOK.
I'M NO BEAR WHISPERER,
BUT I'VE GOT SOME GARBAGE HERE.
SO JUST COME AND GET IT.
HELLO!
I DON'T HAVE ALL--
(GROWLS)
HEY, BUDDY.
HEY, LITTLE PAL.
COME ON.
LET'S GO FOR A WALK.
(CHITTERING)
OH, SO THAT'S
HOW IT'S GONNA BE.
I DIDN'T WANT IT
TO COME TO THIS BUT...
THAT'S MORE THAN
WHAT MEETS THE EYE.
BANZAI!
WHOOPS.
OH, MY GOSH,
I SHOULD TOTALLY WIN.
OKAY, YOU KNOW THAT TIME
I DRESSED UP AS A BEAR AND LIKE,
SCARED EVERYONE,
AND I WAS LIKE, "RRR."
AND THEY WERE LIKE,
"AAH! SAVE ME!"
WELL, IF SOMEONE ELSE
DRESSED UP AS A BEAR,
AND IT WASN'T ME,
I TOTALLY WOULDN'T HAVE
BEEN SCARED.
I WOULD HAVE KNOWN
WHICH MAKES ME
SMARTER THAN THEY ARE.
OH, DID I MENTION
I HAVE AN I.Q. OF 188?
BECAUSE I DO.
HEATHER, WAIT UP.
(QUACKING)
HMM!
I HATE THIS FREAKING SHOW.
AAH!
AAH!
OOH!
THE NATURALIST
IS AT ONE WITH THE WILD.
HE IS PART OF IT.
MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH HIS
FELLOW CREATURES CREATES PEACE,
CREATES BROTHERHOOD.
WE ARE ONE,
LITTLE FELLOW, YES.
WE ARE ONE.
AND YOU'RE THE ONLY THING
STANDING BETWEEN
ME AND VICTORY.
STILL, I LOVE YOU.
AAH!
THAT SMARTS!
AAH!
(WHINNIES)
WHOOPS.
A BEAR.
A BEAR?
I MEAN, HOW ON EARTH
AM I SUPPOSED TO CATCH A BEAR?
GWEN: OPEN THE CAGE,
OPEN THE CAGE!
YES!
I WIN THE DINNER.
YES!
BRING ME DUCK SOUP,
PEKING DUCK,
DUCK A L'ORANGE,
CHOCOLATE MOUSSE.
NO, CHOCOLATE DUCK.
I WIN!
DUNCAN: OPEN THE CAGE!
(QUACKS)
(CHITTERS)
HA!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
GWEN WON ALREADY.
(LAUGHS) HEY, HOST MAN,
BRING ON THE CHOW.
CHRIS: DON'T FORGET.
LAST CAMPER TO CATCH THEIR
CRITTER CLEANS THE WASHROOM.
WELL, I'VE GOT
NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
I COULD HELP YOU
BAG A BEAR, DEER.
HE'S EVIL,
MANIPULATIVE, SKETCHY,
AND COMPLETELY
UNPREDICTABLE.
I LIKE THE WAY HE THINKS.
AND SINCE I'M SERIOUSLY
IN THE MARKET
FOR A NEW ALLIANCE,
BRING ON MR. DELINQUENT.
OOH.
BEAVERS,
DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY.
YOU WOULDN'T
LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY.
(YELLS)
WHOOPS.
YEAH, GENIUS RUNS IN MY FAMILY,
AND PSYCHOTHERAPY.
ONCE AT MY FAMILY BARBECUE,
MY UNCLE CUT OFF HIS EAR
WITH A STEAK KNIFE
TO EMULATE VAN GOGH
BECAUSE HE'S, LIKE,
ALL ARTISTIC,
BUT HE CHICKENED OUT
AND ONLY CUT HALF OF IT OFF!
IT WAS JUST LIKE,
HANGING THERE!
IT WAS SO GROSS!
I SWEAR, I THINK SOME OF
IT ENDED UP IN MY SALAD.
(CROAK)
COME ON, FROGGY, IT'S GOUDA.
OH, NO, YOU ARE NOT
TRICKING ME, FROGGY.
I'M NOT COMING OVER THERE.
YOU WANT THIS CHEESE,
YOU ARE COMING OVER HERE.
OKAY, ONE MORE STEP.
BUT THAT'S IT.
UGH!
FROGGY, BE PLAYING
WITH THE WRONG SISTER!
THE NATURALIST WOULD LIKE
THE CHIPMUNK
TO LISTEN TO REASON.
THE NATURALIST
WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT
THAT WE'RE ALL ONE IN
THE EYES OF MOTHER NATURE.
ONE LOVE, CHIPPY.
OOH!
WORK WITH ME.
YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
HERE.
NO, NO.
SEE, THE THING
THAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN
IS I AGREE TO BE IN
AN ALLIANCE WITH YOU,
AND YOU HELP ME
CATCH THE BEAR.
WHAT DOESN'T HAPPEN IS
I WEAR A REINDEER COSTUME.
HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?
ALSO, YOU DON'T ASK ME
A GAZILLION STUPID QUESTIONS.
YOU PUT THESE ON,
THE BEAR THINKS YOU'RE A DEER.
YOU RUN AWAY AND LEAD HIM
TOWARDS THE CAMPGROUND.
HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?
I BET YOU'RE FASTER.
BUT WHAT I WILL
DO IS FOLLOW.
JUST GUIDE THE BEAR
INTO THE CAGE.
I BET MOST OF THE OTHER MORONS
HAVE ALREADY GOT THEIR
ANIMALS BACK TO CAMP.
YOU DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF TIME.
IT'S WHAT
THEY CALL A WIN-WIN.
SHE SUCCEEDS,
AND I HAVE AN ALLIANCE.
SHE LOSES,
AND SHE GETS EATEN BY A BEAR.
WOW, THAT ALL LOOKS GOOD!
GEOFF:
OPEN THE CAGE!
HEY, MAN, IMPRESSIVE.
AND NO RABIES.
I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU GUYS.
HUH, I GUESS
THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS.
IZZY:
I GOT IT.
IT MAY HAVE BEEN A SLOW START,
BUT I FINALLY GOT IT.
IZZY'S A SHARPSHOOTER.
BANZAI.
YES. (LAUGHS)
(BEAR ROARS)
HAVE YOU SEEN HEATHER?
WHO?
ABOUT YAY TALL, LONG,
DARK HAIR, HOT,
WEARING DEER ANTLERS.
WHOOPS.
SO...WHAT ARE
YOU HAVING FIRST?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE TO START.
OWEN: WOO-HOO!
CHRIS, OPEN THE CAGE!
A NATURALIST
WILL NOT BE DEFEATED.
CLOSE THE CAGE!
YOU SURE?
CLOSE IT!
WHY, HELLO, DUCKY.
OH, AND WHAT A NICE,
LITTLE RACCOON YOU ARE,
NEXT TO THE SWEET BEAVERS.
OW!
I'M THE NATURALIST!
YOU, UH, SURE YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO TO THE INFIRMARY
TO GET YOUR BUTT DART REMOVED?
NOT UNTIL PSYCHO
HOSE BEAST GOES DOWN.
CHRIS: YOU'VE ALL CAST YOUR
VOTES AND MADE YOUR DECISION.
WHEN I CALL YOUR NAME,
COME UP AND CLAIM
YOUR MARSHMALLOW.
THE CAMPER
WHO DOES NOT RECEIVE
A MARSHMALLOW TONIGHT
MUST IMMEDIATELY
RETURN TO THE DOCK OF SHAME
TO CATCH THE BOAT OF
LOSERS AND LEAVE.
THAT MEANS
YOU'RE OUT OF THE CONTEST,
AND YOU CAN'T
COME BACK, EVER.
ONE THING I'LL BE HAPPY
TO NEVER SEE AGAIN?
CHEF'S FOOD.
DEFINITELY THE FOOD.
-THE FOOD.
-THAT IS THE RANKEST--
STINKIEST--
NASTIEST--
-GROSSEST--
-OLDEST--
MOLDIEST
-BLANDEST--
-BADDEST--
MOST DISGUSTING SLOP
I HAVE EVER HAD TO EAT.
OH, AND THE BATHROOMS?
DID YOU SEE THOSE STALLS?
I DON'T THINK THEY'VE
BEEN CLEANED IN--
35 YEARS!
WOW-WHEE, THEY STINK!
OH, AND I MEAN STINK.
THE FIRST MARSHMALLOW
GOES TO...
GEOFF.
OWEN.
LESHAWNA.
DUNCAN.
HEATHER.
ONE MARSHMALLOW,
TWO PLAYERS.
IZZY, GWEN, ONE OF YOU HAS
SPENT YOUR LAST NIGHT
ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
JUST GIVE IT
TO GWEN ALREADY.
EH.
OH, WE'VE ALL GOT
TO GO SOMETIME, RIGHT?
YOU COULD MAKE OUT
WITH ME FIRST,
IF THAT WOULD
CUSHION THE BLOW.
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
THANKS FOR COMING OUT!
BEING THE LOSER,
YOU REALIZE
YOU STILL HAVE SOME
UNFINISHED BUSINESS.
DUNCAN,
I REQUIRE YOUR SERVICES.
DUNCAN: AH,
THE SHOWER IS DISGUSTING.
LESHAWNA TOOK, LIKE,
THREE FROGGY MUD RINSES TODAY.
DON'T FORGET
TO SCRUB THE GROUT
WITH GWEN'S TOOTHBRUSH.
WHY DID LESHAWNA--
AAH.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR PARALYSIS?
IT'S COMING BACK SLOWLY,
LIKE THE MEMORIES OF YOU
GETTING ME SHOT,
SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER,
EVER BE ALLOWED TO FORGET.