The Wild Wild West (1965–1969): Season 1, Episode 25 - The Night of the Freebooters - full transcript

Jim poses as a hired gunman, and Arte as a corrupt colonel, to infiltrate a renegade army led by Thorwald Wolf, who plans to conquer Mexico's Baja California.

So, your husband
went to the ranch

with this man, Wolfe,
and never came back.

He said if I didn't
hear from him,

I should come to you.

He said you were old friends.

Enrique is a good man.

We've worked together before.

What business did he have

with this man, Wolfe?

He was just made commander

of the Mexican
military post in Mexicali.

It had something to
do with that, I'm sure.

Thorald Wolfe...
ex-Army major...

top-notch ordnance man...

cashiered out of the
Army for taking bribes.

He's interested in Mexican
forces on the border.

Well, he's gone.

He's long gone.

That's an interesting
gun he had, huh?


Fires explosive bullets.

Can't buy a gun like that

at your friendly
neighborhood pawnbroker.

Whoever came up with a
gun like that isn't friendly.

Oh, boy...

the cleaning woman is
going to hate us for this.

What happened?

Nothing to be concerned about.

Oh, just a visitor.

We get them
dropping by all the time.

Mrs. Leon, do you
know what dealings

your husband had
with this man, Wolfe?

He once said something
about betrayal...

a lot of money.

Enrique would never
betray his country!

Yet he went to
meet Wolfe. Where?

Wolfe has a ranch near Jacumba.

I'm afraid, señor!

Even now, my
Enrique could be dead.

As we remember
your husband, señora,

he'd take a lot of killing.

Can you use a gun?

I know how.

That bullet was meant for you.

I'm going to send you back

to Mexicali with Artemus.

You stay out of sight.

If you have to...

use it.


I want to help my husband.

I understand how you feel.

If you really want to
help your husband,

you'll do exactly
as I tell you to.

From now on, it's man's work.

Sometimes a woman

can do a man's work
better than a man.

Maybe, but not this time.

Señora Leon?

Explosive bullets.

Take an awfully good ordnance
man to design a gun like that.

I've got an idea.

If Wolfe is
interested in Enrique,

who's only a captain,

what would he do if he had

a Mexican officer of higher rank

to deal with?

I've always wanted
to be a general.

Be modest; be a colonel.

How do you like that?

I'm not in the Army ten
seconds and I'm busted already.

What about you?

First we hear

that Wolfe's hiring men
that don't mind using a gun.

What about those men
that were broken out

of the Army stockade last week?

You think he's
behind that thing, too?

Those are the kind of
men he's been hiring.

Washington sent us here
to find out about them.

I think Washington would
be interested in knowing

that he's making deals
with Mexican officers, too.

Then you do think he's behind
those prisoner outbreaks.

There's a good chance
that prison camp raid

was organized by a military man.

Carried out like a cavalry raid.

It all ties up with Wolfe...

Thorwald Wolfe:
renegade soldier,

ex-career Army man, freebooter.

Mr. West!

Say, that was some shooting!

Actually, I was
aiming at your ears.

I don't know how I missed.

Here. They did a fine job.

Dick, remind me to get
a different photographer.

I don't have bags under my eyes.

Only $500 reward?
I'm worth more than that.

Mr. West, are you sure
you don't need any help?

I'm available.

Take it easy.
Your turn will come.

Robert Crandell.

Robbery, murder,

escaped from federal
territorial prison, Yuma.

They posted?

Yeah, all over California,

Arizona, New Mexico and Nevada.

I think I posted
most of them myself.

I could use a new thumb.

Or a smaller hammer.

Hey, what about Mr. Gordon?

Artemus can take
care of himself.

Yeah, but if he gets
caught in Mexico,

masquerading as
a Mexican officer,

won't he get in real trouble?

Hmm. He gets fat on trouble.

You worried?

Well, we were taught in training

to be very careful about
international incidences.

Oh, don't worry about it, Dick.

With any luck,

I should be in with Wolfe
by tomorrow morning.

They are right about one
thing: Wolfe is hiring men.

He's not too particular
about their moral character.

Do you know why
he's hiring them?

That's what I
intend to find out.

Gee, Mr. West, I sure wish
I could go along with you.

My next assignment,

there may be
pretty girls involved.

If there are, Richard,

I'll take you with me.

Now you take care of yourself.

And, Richard, watch that thumb.

What's the matter with you?

You want to get run over?

What do you want?

I asked you a question!

Where's Wolfe?

Are you crazy, riding
in here big as life?

Now I'm going to
ask you a question.

I asked you, "Where's Wolfe?"

What do you want Wolfe for?

Heard he was hiring.

Hiring who?

What do I look like,
stupid? A ribbon clerk?

You look like a
man hunting trouble.

I heard there was work here...

Big work and big money.

You don't look like
big money to me.

I'll find Wolfe myself.

Why, you, I'll knock you...

Hold it!

I'm going to kill him.

Ah, shut up!

Robert Crandell...

I don't care who he is!

He can't push me around.

Yeah, well, I think
he did pretty well.

Worth $500 dead.

He must be worth
a lot more alive.


Yeah, that's my name.

You sent for me?

Well, I don't know. Who are you?

Do you always rub people
the wrong way, Crandell?

I'm Wolfe.

Yeah, I wanted to see you.

You don't look
like a foolish man.

What did you want
to see me about?

I heard you were hiring.

And I am, but, uh...

I like to know who the
people are that I'm hiring.

Were you in the Army?

Union Army.

Did you like it?

Are you crazy?

Most of us here are Army men,

and we like the Army way.

I've got my own way.

Well, I'm sure you have,
but the question is...

can you be valuable to me?

Try me.

Very well.

Sergeant Bender.

Shoot him!

Very good.

What if I wasn't so very good?

Sergeant Bender
would have shot you.

What do you think, Sergeant?

He's good. He's real smooth.

Now, if he can use that gun...

Oh, he can use
the gun, all right.

I know all about
Mr. Crandell's record.

He's a bushwhacker,
a backstabber,

and a very fast gun for sale,

aren't you, Mr. Crandell?

A man has to make a living.

And if I hire you, you'll
make a very good living...

on my terms, you understand.

You're doing the talking.

Well, we run things

on a military
basis, Mr. Crandell.

Very strict military discipline.

And if anybody breaks the rules,

they are dealt
with most severely.

All right, you've got your
own way of doing things.

All I want to know
is what's in it for me.

Power, Crandell.




A portion of destiny.

A whole new world.

A great and important project.

And I need men with daring.

I need men who aren't afraid

of great visions.

Are you that kind of
a man, Mr. Crandell?

I'm a good gun.

If there's money in
it, then I'm interested.

Fair enough. We'll
give you a chance.


Mr. Crandell is to have
the freedom of the post...

on a probationary
basis, of course.

Yes, sir.

Just a minute.

What is this big deal

I'm being cut in on?

You'll know with
the other new men

within an hour.

At that time, I will tell you

all I wish you to know.

Carry on, Sergeant.

What about my gun?

Pick it up at charger
quarter's office.

Look around, get acquainted.

Play your cards right,

and you'll get along.

Step out of line...

and you're in big trouble.

Just like the Army, huh?

Just like this Army.

Those the new repeating models?

Right off the assembly line.

Señor Wolfe.

Permit me, eh?

Colonel Hernando del
Valle Santiago y Sandoval.

It's a pleasure to meet such
a practical man, Colonel.

But, uh, your little
proposition appealed

to the romanticist in me as
well as to the economist, no?

When your, uh, representative

came to see me,
I said to myself,

"There is a man

after my own heart."

Then you understand everything.

Perfectly... and I am delighted.

Shall we, uh, go inside?

Of course.

Hey, Crandell.

Hold it.

You know, it's time
for your briefing.

What if I don't
like what I hear?

Then I'm afraid
you got big trouble.

Come on.

Sit down.

Sit down, gentlemen.

This is Colonel Sandoval,

Inspector General
of the northern border

of the Army of Mexico.

Colonel Sandoval has promised us

complete cooperation.

In what?

I'm getting to that, Crandell.

Now, when you new men joined
me, you said you had plenty of guts.

Well, you're going
to need every ounce.

You men are going to assist
me in the military conquest

and occupation
of Baja California.




Populated by friendly
Indians... undefended.

It's all there for the
taking, gentlemen,

if anybody has
the guts to take it.

And we have that!

And what's the Mexican
Army going to do?

Just stand by

while we walk in and take over?

I think I am best qualified

to answer that, Señor Wolfe.

Oh, thank you,
Colonel. Please do.

Yes, my friend,

the Mexican government

is indeed going to
stand by and do nothing.

In the interior of Mexico,
the Yaqui Indians are in revolt.

Revolucion has
broken out in Chiapas,

Sonora, Michohuacan.

It will be months

before the central government
can move against us.

By that time, we will be
secure behind our fortifications.

Baja will be ours!

And after that...

who knows what can be
accomplished by brave...

and ruthless men.

Thank you, Colonel.
You catch on quickly.

Sergeant, will you
take over, please?

Thank you, sir.

Gentlemen, there are 200
men standing by in Ensenada,

waiting to take over the port.

One word from Mr. Wolfe,
and the port's ours.

That word will come very soon.

Here's where we attack.

We cross the border
at Mexicali, Tecate,


with only scattered
forces to oppose us.

Most of whom, thanks to
me, will be on maneuvers

at the crucial hour.

What happens then?

You've got the
imagination of a clam.

A nation of men like us?

Who take what we
want when we want it?

We write our own ticket.

We make our own rules.

The fighting probably
won't be as hard on you

as the celebrating
after you've taken it.

And while all this is going on,

President Grant will
be playing Tiddlywinks

with the American Army, right?

You're one of the
smart ones, aren't you?

I keep trying.

Well, Grant won't do anything.

Mexico doesn't like gringos
meddling in their affairs.

We attack.

The American Army might as well

be playing Tiddlywinks
as try to stop us.

We take Baja California!

With the aid of, uh,
Colonel Sandoval, of course.

Of course.

Now, you men will get

your individual assignments
from Sergeant Bender.

Colonel, uh,

would you join me
outside, please?

I have a few things
I'd like to show you.

It's a big project.

You think we can
get away with it?

Can't miss.

Get outside.

Of my own design, Colonel.


Are you a, uh, weapons expert?

I was the best ordnance
man the Union Army ever had,

only they didn't know it.

But they'll know it soon.

Simple, isn't it?

Makes an artillery man
out of an infantryman.

I would be very much interested

to see it work.




Here, see how good
a shot you really are.


It's far from cute.

There's a weather
vane over there.

See if you can hit it.

In which eye?

Just hit it.


It's a pretty good piece.

I could have used
this in the old days.

You'll be using one
like this very soon.

That was quite a good shot.

I could have hit
it with a brick.

Hey, if all your men can shoot

as good as this one, eh...

What is your name, señor?


Bob Crandell.


If I had an army of
men such as this,

if I had only 200, I could take

Baja California by myself.

Yes, Colonel,

but I have the men.

And my cooperation, no?

Which will make it
that much easier for me.

Of course.

Oh, one more thing, Señor Wolfe.

You know, sooner or later,

my government's armies
will move against you.

It will take time, but
they cannot just stand by.

Of course not.

I'll be expecting them...

with, uh, some surprises.

Oh, you better watch
this, too, Crandell.

You've been asking
a lot of questions.

Maybe the Turtle will
answer them for you.

Gatling gun...

four-pound field piece...

quarter-inch armor plate.

Rifle bullets will bounce

right off it.

Now I send a dozen of these

to deploy along
the Colorado River.

What does your army do

when it runs up against them?

They will probably
run a lot, señor.

Your own invention, Mr. Wolfe?

All mine.

Built by the finest
armorers in Europe

who came to join up with me.

You see, my vision
attracts all kinds of men.

I prefer money.

Visions aren't spendable.

This is where the money is.

You're a clod, Crandell.

A fast gun who can't think

past his next drink.

I can see the vision, señor.

First, Baja California,
then Mexico,

then all of Central
America, huh?

All the old empire of
the Conquistadores.

Ah, yes...

but the Conquistadors
were not armed as we will be.


Think I'm crazy, eh, Crandell?

You may get lucky.

It won't be luck.

Go on about your business.

A little military discipline

will do you some good.


It inspires me, Señor Wolfe.

A weapon like this,
and a rifle like that.

Why stop at Baja California?

Why not all Mexico,
immediately, eh?

A child must learn to crawl

before he can walk, Colonel.


But the day will come.


Oh, you must give
me Sinaloa, eh?

I know a hacienda there.

It would make a perfect
palace for the Governor.

And the most beautiful women
in the world come from Sinaloa.

You must visit me.

You will be my guest, eh?

Why, of course, Governor.

You can count on it.

Good, good.

Hey, Bender, what do I do now?

Join that work party over there.

Lend a hand loading them crates.

I didn't sign up
to be a laborer.

You signed up to take orders.

Now do what I told you.

Who's that?

Name's Crandell.

Escaped from the Yuma
Territorial a week ago.


Doesn't ring a bell, but
he sure looks familiar.

Probably ran across him
someplace, maybe in the Army.

No, not that long ago.


Well, come on, we got more
important things to worry about.

Now, listen.

You send ten men
across at Achour,

armed with an X-2
rifle and grenades.

Right, we take
the outpost, then...

That's it.

What's it?

That guy's wife.

That's where I've seen
that other guy before...

They were in that
railroad car together.

Come on!

You, Crandell!

Kill that man! He's a spy!

Hold it! Hold it!

What's this all about, Sergeant?

Crandell, sir... he's a spy.

Are you sure?

Holfield saw him the other night

when he tried to silence

that Leon woman.

No doubt about it?

Positive identification, sir.

Well, that was quite a mistake,

Mr. Whatever-your-name-is.

Win a few, lose a few.

A spy in your own headquarters?

That is very sloppy work,

Señor Wolfe.

Oh, that'll be easily remedied.

Why? What are you
going to do with him?

What does one do with a spy?

Shoot him, of course.

Of course.

Looks like your
days as a filibusterer

are at an end, Señor.

I don't like the hours anyhow.

Lock him up!

I got caught with my
plans on, that's all.

It's ridiculous...

The whole crackpot idea.

No, it isn't.

He can do it.

Take over Baja California?

Who's going to stop him?

I have 20 men in
my post in Mexicali,

seven more at
Tecate, 15 at Tijuana.

That's not the kind of forces

you can rely on
to stop an invasion.

What about the rest
of the Mexican Army?

Wolfe is right.

The Army is fighting the Yaquis.

Could be months
before we could get

a force organized to move
against Baja California.

Well, we're not going
to stop him from in here.

How do they feed you?

They open the door,

then slide it in at the bottom.

They ever take you out

for exercise, questioning?

Never. I've been in here

since Wolfe found
out I was against him.

He doesn't need me anymore.

He's got a colonel now.

We've got a colonel.

That's Artemus.


Wolfe believes him?

You know Art; he's
got winning ways.

You got a visitor, Leon.

Don't try anything
stupid, Crandell.

Ah, Captain Leon.

What do you want, traitor?

The caged rat would do well

not to snarl at the tiger, eh?

I want your signature,
Captain Leon,

for the sake of the record.

You will never get it.

I don't need it, of course.

My own signature

would suffice.

But I think

it would look
better for the record

if the order sending
the border posts

out on maneuvers came

from their regular commander.

You will carry
out your treachery

without my help.

I simply want in all ways...

to keep the confidence
of my troops.

Forget it, Colonel.

Most uncooperative.

What do you intend to
do with young captain?

He'll be shot.

They both will.


Tomorrow morning.


Such young men.

But it's always the young ones

who are the most foolish, no?

I couldn't say.

A little explosive
Artemus developed.

But just getting out
won't solve anything.

It'll be a start.

But what then?

Can you operate a Gatling gun?

Of course.

Then maybe we can give them

a run for their money.

But you need a fuse for that.

Now all we need is
the proper moment.

Tomorrow, then?

Precisely at dawn,

if that gives you time enough.

I certainly hope so, eh?

Then Ensenada
will be ours by 8:00.

The border posts, if you do

what you say you can, by 10:00.

I promise you action, my friend.

Lots of it, eh?



You trust him?

I don't trust any man
I can buy that easily,

but I'm sure he'll
give the right orders.

What then, after we take over?

I think we'll be able to
dispense with his services...


A little libation, Sergeant,
in honor the occasion?

Glad to, Mr. Wolfe.

I've, uh...

I've been wondering,
Mr. Wolfe...

Wondering what?

The reason.

The real reason
you're doing this.

A wolf is born to hunt.

You put a wolf in a cage...

he can't hunt.

He dies.

I'm a soldier,
Sergeant, just like you.

And, of course, it's a
good way of getting back

at the government for
what they did to you.

Oh, no, no, no, you're wrong.

I don't hold that against them.

I was clumsy.

I took a bribe and I got caught.

I would have
court-martialed myself

if I had been them.

Oh, but they were fools...

Kicking you out of the Army...

A man with your talents.

A man of my talents
cannot be held

by protocol and regulations.

I have to make my
own rules, Sergeant,

and I will.

I'll have my own nation

run according to my own rules.

You know what that means?

I have some idea.

You're thinking

of the thousands of good men

throughout the world
who are on the run.

An army of them...

looking for a place to hide.

Well, I'll give it to them... as
long as they follow my rules.


revolutionaries, desperate men.

Oh, what an army they'll make.

Of course, there'll be
a discipline problem.

The French Foreign Legion
doesn't have any trouble.

They whip the
toughest of men into line,

and I can do the same.

My legions... 10,000...

100,000, 500,000 desperate men.

First we take Baja California.

Then we have all of
Latin America at our feet.

Makes a soldier's mouth
water, doesn't it, Sergeant?

Oh, I'll drink to that.

How'd you ever
get mixed up in this?

I'm not proud of it.


Well, in my army...

these, uh, border posts
are the end of the world.

When you are assigned
to one of them, ha,

you know you just
stay there and decay.

Mexico City forgets
all about you.

And you're an
ambitious man, right?

Anything wrong with ambition?

No... not unless that
ambition gets you into trouble.

And it got me into
trouble, all right.

Wolfe contacted me.

He didn't come right out and
tell me what he had in mind.

Hinted around.

He said he was looking for a
man who would cooperate...

if the price was right.

Was the price right?

Governorship of Baja California.

And I was bitter.

Sure, I'd spend

the rest of my career

a forgotten captain
commanding a forgotten post.

I decided to talk to him.

That doesn't explain
how you ended up in jail.

I should have seen it coming.

Wolfe told me everything,

and I just... couldn't do it.

I had my moment of
weakness, but it went away.

I, uh... turned him down.

Why didn't you
go along with him?

I couldn't.

My country may
have forgotten me,

but I haven't
forgotten my country.

I would've been
surprised if you had.

Well, that's that.

How do you set it off?

We don't have a
match between us.

A little help from the sun,

we should start off with a bang.

Got a piece of paper?

Nothing. They took everything.

There's nothing in the cell

that will burn, either.

Mad money.

That looks like a...

a $100 bill?

Can you change it?

Well, I always did
want money to burn.

When do we do it?

Whenever it's right.

Whenever they're busy
doing something else.

You seem uneasy, Sergeant.

Oh, I always get
a few butterflies

the day before we jump off.

Oh. Well, I have
a little job for you.

Maybe it'll calm your nerves.

Certainly, Mr. Wolfe.

The prisoners...

Captain Leon and Crandell...

Can't very well
leave them behind

when we jump off, now, can we?

No, sir.

I want you to
form a firing squad.

Take them out and shoot them.

Now, sir?

Right now!

Yes, sir.

Higgin, Foster,

you two men get your
rifles and follow me.

If ever I saw a firing squad...

What's up, Sarge?

Just a little light
extermination before dinner.

Snap to.

We're going to
be having visitors.

We've come to have a party.

Everybody gather 'round.

Oh, we've got good
wine, fine brandy...

Well, are there no
red-blooded men here?

Doesn't anybody want a drink?

There we are!

That's my wife!

Keep quiet.

But she could get hurt.

That's my friend with her.

He won't let anything
happen to her.

We wanted a break...

This is it.

Hey, Sarge,

we can't shoot those prisoners

on a parched gullet.

How about letting
us get some of that?

Uh-uh, Mr. Wolfe
said that we have...

Sure, sure, but he didn't know

about the dames and the liquor.

Just stand by a minute.

Stand by?

They're going
to drink it all up.

Come on.

Sergeant, what is all this?

They just showed up,
sir. Shall I throw them out?

No, no, let them stay.

Our men go into action tomorrow.

Letting them have
some fun right now

might not be bad psychology.

Besides, uh...

I might join them
myself a little later.

Yes, but what about
the prisoners, sir?

They'll keep, Sergeant.

Enjoy yourself.

Yes, sir.

The finest vintages
in all California.

And when these are gone,
there's more from my cantina

just across the
valley, gentleman.

These are just a
sample. There you are.

Everybody dance!

Dance and drink and laugh!

Ah, who knows what
may happen tomorrow?

Brandy! I have the
finest brandy here.

Who wants it, eh?

I'll take it.


Get back against that wall.

When it blows, move fast.

Get going!

Get him! Get those men!

Hurry! Get them
out of the Turtle!

Get that Gatling gun going.

Aim for the gun ports!

Sergeant, get the X-2.

For every hole I have
to put into the Turtle,

I'll put a dozen into
their mangy hides.

We've been hit.

It's no good. He stopped us.

This thing'll protect
us from regular bullets,

but not from those.

Keep firing. I got to get Wolfe.

I can't get a shot at him.

One of these hit
all that dynamite,

the whole place would blow up.

Look out!

Wait a minute! Whoa!

Captain Leon, you
can come out now.

It looks like we've
won ourselves a war.

Now you can lead
your army, Mr. Wolfe,

to the Federal prison.

To the lovely lady that
showed up at the right time

with all the right equipment.

Well, thank you very much.

Not you. The other lovely lady.


Although I must admit,
you were convincing.

I'll take that as a compliment

to my many talents.

Otherwise, I'd have to
belt you in the mouth.

Corida, you should
not have done it.

You could have been hurt.

I had to do something.

I was worried about you.

Even after we said we
were going after him?

I'm disappointed in you.

Is that all the faith
you have in us?

But I told her absolutely
she should stay out of it.

A woman's place is
to obey her husband.

And aren't you glad I didn't?

Well, if you're going
to be practical about it...

Of course, much of the credit

goes to the grand old
lady of the Secret Service...

Artemus Gordon.

You're never going to let me

live that down, are you?

No, I have no intention of it.

Okay, go ahead, laugh,
laugh, but who was it

that went out with three
beautiful women? Me.

And didn't we
have a good time...

Say, I just thought
of something.

I wonder what those two
other girls are doing tonight.

Now you're thinking, Artemus.

I know exactly what
they're doing tonight.


They're staying home
with their husbands.

Any more suggestions, Artemus?

Yes. Soup's getting cold.