The Madame Blanc Mysteries (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript

Say cheese!

-Would you like a bit of...
-Hello, hello, everyone.

Thank you all very much
for coming tonight.

I am a very lucky woman
to have fallen in love

with such a wonderful man.

We are now going to
re-enact our first dance.

So would you please
welcome to the stage

the once famous Serene.

Hang on just a minute.

You promised me a band!

Merci.



It's so lovely here.

-Never used to be.
-What?

This place, proper dump
when I got here.

-Really?
-Oh, yeah.

Drugs, gambling, you had to
wipe your feet on the way out.

Blimey.

In the end, the
police closed it down.

It was falling apart for ages.

Then Niall and Celine turned
up and transformed it,

changed the village.

So when did you get here then?

Twenty years ago,
just had Xav.

Oh, so Xav's dad is French?

Long story.



So when do you get
your ring back?

Oh, I don't know,
sick of asking.

The only thing he left me
that's worth anything,

and I can't get me hands on it.

-Still go to text him, you know.
-Mm.

See something funny and I think,
"Oh, Rory will love this."

But it was all a lie, wasn't it?

What do I do now?

Choose the parts
I wanna believe,

my own version of events?

I think we all have to
do that to some extent.

I remember when
me mom was dying,

I used to look at other women
my age in the hospital

caring for their moms,
and think about

how we were all members
of the same club,

a club you don't want to be in.

Loss can be a cruel mistress.

You might want to rephrase
that under the circumstances.

When I asked
for a subtle ice sculpture,

I didn't want one that
would sink theTitanic.

I wanted two doves intertwined.

It looks like two rabid dogs
ravishing a bone.

What?

It might have started to melt!

So why on God's earth
did you send it so early?

Well, I'm afraid you're
gonna have to get rid of it,

darling, it is an eyesore.

What?

Well, you can think again

if you think that I am going
to be breaking it up myself.

-I want it gone by 3:00 PM.

Good grief, it's just
almost impossible

to get any decent
service over here.

Well, no offence, dear.

Ah, none taken.

So your CV, let's have a look.

You're from Marseilles, and
you've had lots of experience.

Oui, madame.

I worked for two
private houses there,

and was also involved
in the catering.

I can't see your
references here.

Oh, so sorry, madame,
I thought they were attached.

I will print them out.

No, don't bother, dear.

I only ask for Jeremy,
I never read them anyway.

Okay then, you are through
to the next round.

You know, I like you, Angela,

but I have one final test,

shows me the measure of a woman.

Could you demonstrate for me
your fanciest fold?

That's not true.

She's gonna love it,
I promise you.

Hang on, she's coming over.

All right, now listen,
I'll see you later.

No, no, she's gonna be
absolutely thrilled.

Oh, thank goodness for that,

someone with a degree of skill.

Merci.

May I say what a beautiful
house you have here.

Oh, how kind.

You know, we actually
got married here.

-Really?
-Yes.

Anyway, could you
start tomorrow?

Of course, no problem.

Anything else?

No, that's all for now.

I'll see you bright and early
tomorrow, 6:00 AM start.

Well, you won't see me at
such a ghastly hour of course,

Adele will let you in.

Merci.

Oh, sorry, I mean goodbye.

Good, that's
all sorted then.

Hmm.

I brought my own tea
making facilities.

Well, you can't be
too careful, can ya?

My friend went to France once

and caught something
dreadful from a kettle.

You can't be too careful
with foreign water.

You okay?

You're a bit quiet today.

I'm scared, Dom, I am.

If she can kill once,
she can do it again.

And I might be next.

You're not on your own,
you know.

No, Dom, that's just it,

I am on my own.

Fomalhaut is sometimes
called the loneliest star,

because it's the brightest star
in that region of the sky.

What?

Well, you're not that,

you know,
on your own in the universe.

There are other stars twinkling
right alongside you.

Right.

But that sounded a bit
more profound in me head.

So, what happened
with Xav's dad then?

I asked Gloria this morning,
and she just clammed up.

I honestly don't know.

There was a rumour he was
a missionary or something.

Gloria was with a missionary?

I know, it's weird.

I've never seen her
with a man since.

Hmm, she's better
off without them.

Um, present company excepted.

You should have printed
it out, darling.

I didn't need to
print it out, darling,

because I knew
I would remember it.

Clearly not.

-Yes?
-We'd like to check in.

Could somebody take our bags?

We don't have a porter.

Oh, how utterly ridiculous.

How can you call
yourselves a hotel?

Cressida!

Well, we don't call
ourselves a hotel,

because we're a pub.

I think you might be looking for
L'Hotel Pierre up the street.

Female of the species, eh?

Not too bad, considering.

Happy then?

I wouldn't go that far.

Trust that
sister-in-law of yours

not to let us stay
at the chateau.

I mean, for God's sake,
it is your family's.

You know full well
Jeremy bought it,

and let's not go through
all that again please.

And whose fault is that?

I'm gonna take a shower.

Oh, for goodness sake.

Harry, you brought
the wrong tuxedo.

This is at least 30 years old.

That's the one I wore
on Jeremy's stag night.

He'll think it's hilarious.

He'll think we're penniless.

We are.

There's a good girl, pass
me that wash bag, will you?

Thank you.

You all right?

Yeah, you know,
all things considered.

-You know what you need.

What's that?

You need your distraction.

Oh, do I now?

What were you thinking?

-Well...
-Come on.

No, you're all right.

Go on, what
were you thinking?

-Well...
-Go on!

Well, you would really
be helping me out.

Well, after how much
you've helped me out,

-it's the least I can do.
-Brilliant, okay, okay.

Would you like to be my plus one

at Jeremy and Judith's
anniversary party?

Oh, shut the front door!

Oh...

Bloody French fire alarms!

Now, I want this
to be centre stage.

That is Jeremy's family crest.

I want it to be heralded
in gold and blue balloons.

Angela, make sure that
everyone gets a party favour.

Yes, madame.

Only one each, mind, they
have been counted, capiche?

Oui, madame.

My God, I must be delirious,

I'm speaking French.

These have just arrived for you.

More flowers, really?

And where on earth
am I supposed to put them?

Oh, oh, hello, my cherub.

Oh, I see you got my flowers.

Oh, darling, I was just
saying to the girls,

they are so lovely.

I just don't know where
I'm going to put them.

Now, I have another
little surprise for you.

No, darling, I haven't
really got the time.

Yes, you do.

This will make you sparkle.

Now, close your eyes.

Open them.

It's coral, darling,

symbolizes 35 years' devotion.

-Oh, thank you, darling.

You're welcome.

Now, I have one more
little surprise for you.

Meet you at La Couronne
at 7:00 PM?

Do we have to?

-Ah, you promised.
-I know, but...

Hey, it's '80s theme,
and it's fancy dress.

Eh, it is?

Why didn't you say?
I'll be there.

I am walking on sunshine.

-Oh!

Hang on, Dom, I've gotta go,
it's my estate agent.

Okay,
I'll speak to you later.

See you, love.

-Hi, Barbara!
-Hello, Jean.

Good news, I have
a viewing for you.

Are you ready, my sweet?

Yes, yes, I'm ready, darling.

Mary, what are you doing here?

When you said your sister
couldn't make it work, darling,

I said, "Well, old boy, it's
up to you to make it work."

So here she is.

Yes, funny, I didn't
get the first invite.

You look very well, Judith.

-Fat?
-What?

That's what you say when
someone's put weight on.

Well, it's not good
to be too thin

as you get older.

A rule you obviously abide by.

Now, darling, it seems only
fair if your sibling's here,

mine should be here too.

Come in, you two.

Cressida and Harry!

Isn't this fantastic?

And it gets better.

Adele, bring it in.

Isn't this wonderful,
all the family together

after 35 years?

Do you like what I've done
with the old place, Harry?

Oh, do you remember when
Walter fell down that well?

You cried for days.

I loved that dog.

Drinkies all round.

Have you come as Lady Diana?

I'm Simon Le Bon.

It's quite handy actually,

'cause I've always had
a look of Cyndi Lauper.

Oh, yeah.

Eh, Judith does know
how to throw a good do.

And there's sense in
keeping your enemies close,

if you know what I mean.

Mm. Right, we ready?

Yeah, let's do it.

Oh, sorry.

-Hello, you!
-Dad!

Look at you, you look wonderful.

Takes me right back to
when you were a teenager.

Sunday lunchtimes
at the Golden Goose.

What was that song
you used to sing?

"Two out of Three Ain't Bad",
that's it.

And you look just
like him tonight.

Dad, I've modelled meself
on Joan Jett, not Meatloaf.

I'm only pulling your leg,
I knew that.

What you doing here, Dad?
You never called.

Well, I just thought
I'd come and see

my favourite little girl.

Nothing wrong with that,
is there?

I just needed a change
of scene for a while.

-A while?
-Couple of weeks?

Days?

A couple of nights.

Here, take me keys
and let yourself in.

I've a party to go to.

I'll be back later.

-You're a good girl.
-See ya!

Say cheese!

It's being so happy
that keeps them going.

Oh, thank you.

Oh.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Oh!

Waste not, want not.

There you are.
Where have you been?

You said that your phone
was easy to work.

I can't find the song.
I can't find the song!

You want to do the dance now?

Yes!

Excuse-moi.

Uh, excuse me, please,
can you press play

when Judith has
finished her speech?

I am very busy.

Uh, yeah, sure.

Hello, everyone.
Hello, hello.

Thank you all so much
for coming tonight.

I am a very lucky woman

to have fallen in love with

-such a wonderful man.

And I'm also lucky enough still

to fit into the dress I wore

when I married
that wonderful man.

Not many of us can say that,
can we, girls?

We are now going to
re-enact our first dance.

So would you please
welcome to the stage

the once famous Serene.

Hang on just a minute.

You promised me a band.

Just turn the key
and lift the handle a bit, Dad.

All right, okay.

See you later, bye, Dad.

Ladies and gentlemen,
you may all go home now,

but we require everyone
to present their passports

at the station as
soon as possible,

where they will be held

until our investigations
are complete.

And, of course,
we will be requiring

statements from everyone.

Oh, for goodness sake,

I've a bridge final in
Maidstone on Thursday.

Please accept my apologies
if the loss of a life

interferes with
your travel plans.

I'm sure your insurance
companies will be able to help.

What's happening?

Won't somebody please just
tell me what's going on?

It's all right,
darling, I'm here.

Now, come along.
Thank you very much, Inspector.

Sorry, would it be impolite
to ask you a question?

Not at all.

The huge brooch on the turban
that Mary was wearing,

have you got it?

-Brooch?
-Yeah, it was on the turban.

Now, I think I know what it is,

but, well, I can't
be quite certain.

There was no brooch.

Then you need to find it,

because I think that is a very
valuable piece of jewellery.

Would it be impolite for me

to ask for your assistance
on this case, Madame White?

What you lot doing up
at this hour?

I've got a mouth like
the bottom of a cat's tray.

-Pardon?
-Je suisfeeling rough.

-I'll have one of them, Xav.
-Yeah.

I feel as rough as
a badger's backside.

And when was the last time

you felt one of those, Grandad?

You're not too big to get a clip
around the ear hole, you know?

What have you come as?

Where's that coffee, Xav?

How'd your party go?

Someone died.

Judith's sister,
here for the party.

Judith was inconsolable.

I never thought I'd actually
hear meself say this,

-but I felt sorry for her.
-Don't you worry, love.

Your old dad's here now.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Merci.

Ooh!

So what brings you
here then, Dad?

Well, to see you lot, of course.

And I've got a bit
of business as well.

And what are your plans
for today?

Go for a little stroll.

This is where they
must've got in.

Mm.

And you're definitely
sure it was poison?

The doctor is almost certain.

Of course, we have to
wait for confirmation

from the coroner.

Mm.

Ah, excuse me.

Yes, come on,
let's see if we can find Caron.

Come on, he'll tell us, darling!

Any further developments, Caron?

It does
look like poison.

It's all right,
darling, I've got you.

Judith, Jeremy, may I
offer my condolences.

-Thank you.

Would it be too insensitive

to ask you a couple
of questions here,

rather than at the station?

Of course.

What was your relationship
to the deceased?

Would you like me to
answer that, darling?

Mary was Judith's older sister,

in fact, the reason
I met Judith.

She was housekeeper
to Harry and Cressida.

Judith came along one day
to pick her up,

and, well, the rest,
as they say, is history.

Harry and Cressida?

My brother and sister-in-law.

-Were they at the party?
-Yes, they're still here.

They're staying at L'Hotel Bien.

Why do you have to
keep talking about it?!

It's all right.

It's not all right.
It's far from all right, Jeremy.

It's happened,
it'll never be all right.

Sorry, sorry, everyone,
it's all just a bit much.

It's the shock, I think,
the shock of it all.

I spent so long organizing
the whole thing.

Ahh.

You seem pretty certain
about this blue stone

from one glance, Madame White?

Well, I've only ever seen

that colour and clarity
of stone once before,

but never seen one that size.

The one I saw was mined

in the Santa Maria mines
in Brazil in the '50s.

The sumptuousness of the stone,

-it was unmistakable.
-And valuable?

Well, the one I saw

was a quarter
of the size of the brooch,

and that sold for over £5,000.

Oh, was that in Mary's bag too?

Can I have a look?

Oh, yes. Um...

Oh, thank you.

Oh, now this, this is
a Victorian mourning locket.

Do you see the lock of hair?

-Macabre.
-Well, it can be.

They were made fashionable
by Queen Victoria

when Prince Albert died.

But the idea was around
way before then.

I saw one at an exhibition
at Buckingham Palace

which is said to contain
the hair of Charles I.

But I don't know.

Madame White, I wonder if
I could make you an offer.

Your knowledge and expertise
is something I greatly admire.

Oh, thank you.

And something
I'm greatly in need of.

-Oh?
-Sainte Victoire is

the epicentre of antiques,
forgery is rife,

and my knowledge is not
as great as it should be.

Or as my wife would say,
I am ignorant.

That's a bit harsh.

Would you be interested in
assisting me as my advisor?

I could pay you a small salary.

It would be of great help.

Oh, wow, I'd love to,
thank you, Caron.

My pleasure.

So can I take a picture
of this then?

Of course.

Do you know, there's
only two things in life

that I'm really,
really passionate about.

And what might they be?

Beautiful women and good rugby.

So what position do you play?

Where have I seen you before?

-Sorry I'm late, love.

Oh, with Dad visiting,

it's like living
in a "Carry On" film.

Can't stop long,
I'm getting me toes done.

-Fancy a cuppa?
-Yeah, go on, quick one.

What a terrible end
to the party, eh?

I know, isn't it awful?

Between me and you,
something was stolen too.

Really?

A brooch, belonged to Mary,
the lady who died.

-Valuable?
-Think so.

Ooh, that's nice.

Oh, that is a Victorian
mourning locket.

So you'd have a lock of the
deceased's hair on one side,

and the family crest
on the other.

Ugh, whose hair is it
in the locket?

I don't know.

That's Jeremy's
family crest on the other side.

What?

They have it stamped
on everything.

Lady of the manor
would have it stamped

on her forehead if she could.

-Say cheese!

Is the sister-in-law all right,
did she need stitches?

Gloria, it was the
sister who died.

I know that, I mean the
sister-in-law, Cressida,

-the one with the cut hand.
-I'm not with you.

When I was talking to me dad,

I saw her coming out
of the French doors.

She was holding her hand
in a scarf covered in blood.

I put my phone away, but
when I looked up, she'd gone.

You sure?

Yeah, I'd only had
half a lager and lime.

The hair, of course!

Can you give me a lift
to the L'Hotel Bien?

Sorry, love,
I'm going the other way.

Oh, it's okay,
it's okay, don't worry.

I distinctly asked
for sour dough bread.

Oh, for God's sake,
that's all they had.

Oh,
for goodness sake.

-Ready?
-Ready.

Now what?

Oh, hello.

And to what do we
owe the pleasure?

Tell them we're
not paying for this rubbish.

Um, we wondered if we could
have a word about Mary.

What about Mary?

If you'll excuse us, we are
trying to have some lunch.

I have a witness who saw you

coming away from the
scene of the murder

with an injured hand.

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

Cressida, Cressida!
What have you done?

It's not what you think.

Did you kill Mary
because of the affair?

I wanted to confront her
about this.

Handwritten by her,

I found it in your old tuxedo
from Jeremy's stag.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Years of illiterately
scrawled shopping lists

made me recognize her
writing immediately.

When we were first married,

we used to laugh about
the way she fawned over you.

When you decided to get rid
of her, I understood why.

Darling...

Then all of a sudden,
she returned.

You blamed your father
for wanting her back.

You don't know what you're
talking about, darling.

Don't you lie to me anymore.

How long was Mary away for?

After about a year,
she was back.

I should have realized then.

Darling, it's all in
your beautiful head.

Mary carried this with her
in her handbag.

You gave this

to that repugnant woman?

Your hair, your crest
around her neck.

How dare you!

She was more of a woman
than you will ever be.

Not anymore.

Cressida,

did you kill Mary?

No, I didn't kill her,

much as I wanted to.

She was clearly dead
when I got there.

She was lying on
the chaise longue,

blood coming out of her mouth.

I heard a noise outside,
and as I went to leave...

I cut my wrist on
a broken window.

Have you made
your statement yet?

I'll go now.

Everything has been
a lie, hasn't it?

Everything.

We've got to get
back to the chateau.

What? What you on about?

She's got the perfect motive,
it's a crime of passion.

They'll go easy on her.

Something's not right.

Caron, it's me. Have you
still got all the passports?

They were in love.

But it's
beyond belief.

He always said he
couldn't stand her.

He said that father
only used her

because she was so cheap.

Sometimes he was so rude to her,

I used to say, "Hey, remember,
that's Judith's sister."

We were all so shocked when
he gave her Mama's sapphire

as a retirement gift.

I thought it was guilt.

It all makes sense now.

Judith is distraught.

I'm sure she is.

She was so excited about
the chocolate fountain.

-Um, may I use your bathroom?
-Yes, of course.

Dom, please.

-Angela?
-Oui?

I'm sorry to bother you.

I'm just a bit
concerned about Judith.

Do you think she's
gonna be okay?

Oh, I think she will be fine.

You've not been
here long, have you?

I'm new too.

How are you finding it?

Sainte Victoire does
take a little bit

of getting used to, doesn't it?

You're not wrong.

-Where are you from?
-Marseilles.

Where are you really from?

-I just told you, Marseilles.
-Mm-hmm.

You know, if you
don't tell the truth,

you could go to jail.

It seems rotten wasting
your entire life on a lie.

I do not know what
you are talking about.

Mary was your mother,
wasn't she?

And Harry is your father.

I do not know who these people
are that you're talking about.

Please, Angela, it's over.

How did you know?

It was something
Cressida said about Mary

being sacked for nearly a year.

Yes, that would have
been when I was born.

But how did you know
it was me?

Oh. The charger you used at
the party had a British adapter.

And when you filled
Gloria's glass up,

your accent dropped
a little bit.

Waste not, want not.

I mean, I wasn't sure, but I...

I checked your
passport with Caron.

How did Mary not recognize you?

Of course.

Red hair.

Yes, I'm the dirty little secret
nobody wanted,

dumped into a care home.

When you're old enough,
they give you a folder

with your basic details.

That's when I decided
I wanted to find her.

Are you Mary?

Hello, darling.

Oh, my God.

Oh, darling.

Mary was lovely at first.

I'll see you
next week, all right?

Okay, have a great week.

Come and give me a hug.

Everything I'd
ever wanted her to be.

-Bye, darling.
-All right, see ya.

But one day she told me

she had to stop seeing me

out of respect for her
dead husband's memory.

And she told me by text.

She broke my heart again.

Every time I saw her,
she wore that blue brooch.

She said it was
worth a lot of money,

but would always be
priceless to her,

because my father had
given it to her as a gift.

My father, that's a laugh,
isn't it?

I saw that brooch
as my inheritance.

She'd been posting
on social media

about coming to the chateau
for a big party.

So I just jumped on a train,
and I come over.

What were you planning to do?

I don't know,
but then this job turned up

and I thought...

Oh, I don't know what I thought.

What were you gonna do
with the brooch?

Found a dealer online
who agreed to buy it off me.

And who was this dealer?

No idea.

We met up. Somehow she got
the whole story out of me.

I broke down,
and she promised to help.

She even came up with the plan.

When Mary was asleep,
I slipped into her hotel room.

I was about to take the brooch

when the fire alarm went off.

Oh, shut the front door.

It woke Mary up.

So the next time
she gave me something

that would help Mary sleep,

so I could steal
the brooch easily.

The party was so busy,
it was easy to slip

the sleeping powder
into her drink.

When I come into the lounge,

she was asleep on
the chaise longue.

I took the brooch
off the turban,

and I went to give it to the
dealer who was waiting outside.

But the window was stuck,
and I panicked.

Got my champagne bottle and
I smashed a pane of glass.

I handed the brooch
to the dealer

who was waiting outside,

and just went back
into the party.

She said it would
make her sleep.

I didn't want her
to die, I promise.

So where's the brooch now?

I don't know.

The dealer won't take my calls,
she's disappeared.

It's gone.

I just wanted what was mine,
and now it's gone.

Ah, here they are.

Dom, I think you'd
better call Caron.

Eh voila, bonjour.

-Oscar, how are you?
-Salute!

Just you wait till you see
what I've got for you.

-What can I get you?
-Cognac.

Two cognacs over there.

-I'll bring them over.
-Merci.

I have to say,
I've not seen a collection

as good as this for years,
I really haven't.

You just have a look.

-Mm.
-All in alphabetical order,

all signed
and in mint condition.

Just look at these, eh?

How about that one?

Oh, I love that album,

although someone's
scribbled all over it.

That is Nat King Cole's
autograph, love.

No, it's not.

No offence, love,
but what would you know?

My dad played saxophone
for Quincy Jones.

They played with Nat
at the Olympia in Paris, 1960.

Ah, there!

That's Nat King Cole's
signature, love.

-All right, Dad?
-Am I ever, contact in Paris

reckons his sister's cousin's
got a leather jacket

that might've once belonged
to Johnny Hallyday.

Tres bien.

-Good to see you, kid.
-You too, Dad.

-I'll be in touch.
-All right.

Oh, can I keep the kimono?

I found the aeration
was good for me...

Take it!

-Bye.

-Poor girl.

She must have been desperate
to go to them lengths.

Mm.

Oh, my God!

What?

It's her.

Again.