The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 15 - The Late Show with Stephen Colbert - full transcript

First Lady Michelle Obama; Mindy Kaling (The Mindy Project (2012)). Also: John Legend performs.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
The president of the united
states has a completely

preposterous and invented excuse
for the republican losses.

Speaking to the daily caller,
the president said "sometimes

they go to their car, put on a
different hat, a different

shirt, come in and vote again."

The president continued, "if you
buy a box of cereal, you have a

voter I.D.."

When I start my day I want to
start it in a delicious and

nutritious way.

Thats why I choose odios.

Thats right, odios are part
of a pleat breakfast.



So before you put that in your
mouth, can I see your I.D.?

What?

The I.D. You used to buy the
cereal.

Why would I need an I.D. To
buy cereal?

Without an I.D., you could go
out to your car, change clothes,

and come back and buy cereal
again!

Why would I want to buy cereal
in disguise?

Thats insane.

Oh!

So im crazy!

Well, im a squirrel!

And things are about to get
nuts!

Hey, you know what?

Im going to go out for
breakfast.



Odios!

We know where you live!

Announcer: Its "the late
show" with Stephen Colbert!

Tonight, down in the trunks.

Plus, Stephen welcomes Ben
stiller, jemele hill and musical

guest jorja Smith, featuring Jon
batiste and "stay human."

And now live on tape from the ed
Sullivan theater in New York

city, its Stephen Colbert!

( Cheers and applause )
( Theme song playing )

Stephen: Hello!

How are you!

( Cheers and applause )
Sure!

Thank you, maam!

Thank you, sir!

Thank you, everybody!

Please, have a seat!

( Applause )
Welcome to "the late show,"

everybody.

Im your host Stephen Colbert.

( Cheers and applause )
Its first day of snow here in

New York, but did it stop these
people?

No!

These people are like the postal
service, in that Donald Trump

wishes they both didnt exist.

( Laughter )
Of course, Trump doesnt like a

lot of things these days.

Pretty grumpy.

Reports are hes moping around
the White House.

One source says, "hes pissed...
At damn near everyone."

( Laughter )
Wow.

Being president has really worn
him down.

Remember, inauguration day when
he was so light-hearted and

filled with joy?

American carnage...
Stephen: Thats enough!

( Laughter )
Another former staffer says,

"this is a level of insanity
ive never seen before."

A level of insanity this white
house has never seen before.

And, keep in mind, this white
house has seen kanye.

( Laughter )
Current and former officials are

debating the cause of trumps
outbursts, ranging from his

fears over his son Don Jr.S
legal exposure to the prospect

that house democrats will
unleash investigations in

January.

Other theories include: The
stock market, the existence of

stairs, and a possible mcrib
shortage.

( Laughter )
One of the things that has Trump

upset is his trip to France
because it did not include a

grand military parade like the
one he witnessed a year ago on

bastille day, leading him to
wonder what the point of the

trip was.

( Laughter )
(As Trump)

"Why did we even come here?

They have a perfectly good
France at epcot, plus jalapeno

poppers over at the Mexico
place, and Mickey leads a

kick-ass military parade!"
Now, there are rumors that Trump

is about to fire a bunch of
people including chief of staff

John Kelly, but Kelly "has
decided to hang in there and get

humiliated day after day."

I think thats actually a white
house motivational poster.

( Laughter )
Kelly is the cat.

( Laughter )
And Trump has a bizarre reason

for keeping Kelly on.

As one insider put it, "the more
the press writes that John Kelly

is gone, the more Trump is
emboldened to keep him just to

prove them wrong."

Theres your stable genius at
work.

( Laughter )
(As Trump )

"The media reported I have no
plans to punch myself in the

nards, so strap in, Bert and
Ernie, its gonna be a bumpy

night!"
( Laughter )

( Cheers and applause )
We dont know that for a fact.

Bert and Ernie, I dont know.

Jon: Oh, no.

Stephen: But trumps not
just moping around the white

house, hes also moping around
the Twitter...

"The inner workings of the
Mueller investigation are a

total mess.

They have found no collusion and
have gone absolutely nuts.

They are screaming and shouting
at people, horribly threatening

them to come up with the answers
they want.

They are a disgrace to our
nation and dont dot-dot-dot..."

"... dot-dot-dot-dot care how many
lives they ruin.

These are angry people,
including the highly conflicted

Bob Mueller."

Hes so transparently projecting
all his insecurities onto

Mueller.

(As Trump)
"Im not out of control.

Mueller is.

Poor man, overweight, bad hair,
big diaper tennis shorts,

totally colluded with Russia,
and did you see that video of

him not knowing how to work an
umbrella?

So sad.

So embarrassing.

No wonder he has a terrible
relationship with his wife,

Mueller-ania."

( Laughter )
Thats a hard word to say,

Mueller-ania.

( Laughter )
And trumps bad mood continued

in print.

Yesterday, he sat down for an
interview with "the daily

caller," and Trump came out hard
against anti-fascist protesters:

"These people, like the antifa
youre talking about, the

antifa... they better hope that
the opposition to antifa decides

not to mobilize.

Because if they do, theyre much
tougher.

Much stronger.

Potentially much more violent."

He does realize "f.A." Stands
for "fascist," right?

So hes complimenting fascists
on their strength and their

capacity for violence.

(As Trump)
"There are fine people on both

sides, but my moneys on the
guys with the jackboots and

the guns."

Trump claimed victory in the
midterms, but hes still stewing

about the ongoing vote counting
down in Florida.

And he hammered broward countys
election supervisor, Brenda

snipes.

"You look at her past, shes a
disaster.

When they call this woman
incompetent, theyre wrong.

Shes very competent, but in a
bad way."

( Laughter )
Exactly.

Such a good point.

You never know if somebodys
going to be good competent or

bad competent, which is why
Trump has kept his promise not

to be competent in any way.

( Laughter )
( Applause )

Play it safe.

Better safe than sorry, Jon.

Jon: Yeah.

Stephen: Better safe than
sorry.

And he made a strong case for
voter I.D.:

They try to shame everybody
by calling them racist, or

calling them something, anything
they can think of, when you say

you want voter I.D.

But voter ID is a very important
thing.

If you buy a box of cereal... you
have a voter I.D."

The president of the united
states thinks you need a voter

I.d. To buy cereal?

He must be referring to the many
popular "adults only" cereals

that require I.D. Like, "porn
flakes," "turning trix," and

"grape nuts."

( Laughter )
( Applause )

Mmm!

Funny thing, they dont taste
like grapes or puts, but, lord,

theyre salty.

Jon: Oh, my goodness!

( Laughter )
Wake up the kids at home,

everybody.

And with Trump in such a bad
mood, no one is safe.

Not even fox news host, and guy
at the poker game who just

realized all reds isnt a thing
Sean hannity.

Apparently, "trumps close
relationship with hannity

hasnt stopped the president
from mocking the fox news star

behind his back for being
such a suck-up."

Does hannity really suck up that
much?

The one thing that has made
and defined your presidency more

than anything else, promises
made, promises kept.

Mr. President, you are
dealing with a lot of good

economic news today.

1overwhelmingly, a lot of
support for you here.

I went out there an hour
before the show, and the crowd

is electric.

What do you say to those people
that love you?

Stephen: (As Trump)
"I would say the same thing I

say to everyone who loves me,
sign this n.D.A."

"And get out."

( Laughter )
( Applause )

Apparently, Trump is so critical
of hannity, that one source

described "the president
launching into a rough imitation

of hannitys voice and
mannerisms."

I would love to see trumps
impressions.

(As Trump)
"Hey, everybody, watch this:

Im Sean hannity!
Now another one: Im Jared!

Heres my Nixon: No collusion.

Witch hunt."
( Laughter )

I like... I like... I like to
eat my apples and bananas!

Literally the first thing I
thought of.

( Laughter )
Of course, this news about

hannity has sent shockwaves
through our in-house, pro-Trump

news team, "real news tonight,"
who now dont know how to talk

about the president.

Jim?

Welcome to real news tonight,
im Jim anchorton.

And im Jill news lady.

Our top story tonight, the
president is great but maybe not

perfect.

Yes, hes a big, strong,
virile jerk.

Is that what were going for?

This is a new energy for me.

Jill?

I dont know.

Also, hes fulfilled so many
of his campaign promises, except

he never locked up Hillary.

Its like some of the things he
says at his campaign rallies

arent true.

Youve gone too far.

Mr. President, your tweets are
fantastic, but...

Yeah and youre a spiteful
demagogue whos done irrevocable

damage to our people and freedom
all over the world.

Would you stop him before its
too late?

Aaahhh!




Coming up next, has Trump
accomplished so much that there

will be nothing for the next guy
to do?

What do you think, Jim?

I think so.

Stay tuned!

( Cheers and applause )


Stephen: Weve got a great
show for you tonight.

Ben stiller is here.

But when we return, I tell you
how to raise your kids.

Stick around!

( Cheers and applause )
( Band playing )

Stephen: Jon batiste and
stay "stay human," everybody!

Give it up for the band right
there!

( Cheers and applause )
Hows everybody over there, Jon?

How you doing?

Jon: Hey!

How you feeling?

Stephen: Very good.

Very funny man Ben stiller is on
the show tonight.

Jon: Love Ben stiller.

Stephen: Yeah, hes
directing now.

You know what im really excited
about.

Jon: Whats that.

Stephen: Human beings.

Human beings excite me.

Jon, I dont know if youve
heard, "the late show" made a

book.

"Whose boat is this boat?

( Cheers and applause )
Comments that dont help in the

aftermath of a hurricane,"
consisting entirely of things

Donald Trump actually said while
touring hurricane damage.

In north Carolina.

All of "the late show" s
proceeds go toward hurricane

relief.

And guess what: "Whose
boat is this boat" just hit

number one on "the New York
times" bestseller list!

( Cheers and applause )
Boom!

Bang!

Bang!

Boom!

Right there!

Okay!

Number one!

Suck it, Dan brown!

( Laughter )
And my publisher said it would

be inappropriate to put in a
subplot about a murder in the

Vatican!

Even better, were number one on
the "advice, how-to and

miscellaneous" list.

( Laughter )
Im so humbled.

Its every authors dream to
one day be considered

"miscellaneous."

( Laughter )
Its the drawer full of buttons

and rubber bands of publishing.

Again, youre helping people.

Please go buy it.

A lot of people are.

Number one!

All right.

( Cheers and applause )
Number one, thats a good

feeling.

Number one.

Now, folks, as a father, ive
learned one or two things about

rizing kids.

For instance, if you let any
child get near a peanut you can

be tried at the hague.

And being a father has not only
given me knowledge, it has given

me something even better: The
gall to tell you how to raise

your own children.

( Baby crying )
This is "the late shows

Stephen Colbert: Level ten
baby-master!"


( Cheers and applause )

Dont tell me what to do!

Nobody tells me what to do!

I tell you what to do!

( Laughter )
Todays topic: Gender reveal

parties... celebrations where
expectant parents reveal their

babys gender in creative ways.

Big crazy gender reveals are the
hottest baby trend right now.

Even more popular than mtvs "my
super sweet sons bris."

( Laughter )
Used to be, you could reveal

your babys gender by cutting
into a cake that was either

pink or blue inside.

If its pink, its a girl and
shell be encouraged to do

things like baking gender reveal
cakes.

( Laughter )
If its blue, its a boy, hell

be allowed to eat that cake
without society judging his

body.

( Laughter )
But lately, new parents have

really been upping their game
and revealing their babys

gender with elaborate stunts on
social media using things like

fire hoses, airplane drops or
even fun and festive car exhaust

fumes.

Because its every pregnant
moms dream to

celebrate her Childs impending
birth by huffing pastel carbon

monoxide.

( Laughter )
Gender reveals are bigger,

louder, and hellish-er than
ever!

People are revealing gender by
firing bows and arrows, shooting

each other with colored
paintballs and blowing stuff up.

( Laughter )
If youre revealing via

explosion, you might want to
have another couple nearby

revealing via fire hose.

The uptick in violent gender
reveals makes sense.

There are no feelings more
vulnerable or tender than those

we have for our newborn
children, which is why dads want

gender reveals to sack up!

In fact, "popping a balloon to
have pink or blue confetti fall

out, or slicing open a pink or
blue cake... are traditionally

feminine.

So, many couples have been
pioneering ways to make the

reveal process more manly.

Yeah, cake and balloons are not
manly.

Which is why your boys next
birthday party should feature

meatloaf and barbed wire.

( Laughter )
Clearly...

Clearly, to get dads interested
in announcing their

soon-to-be-born childrens
gender, the answer is gratuitous

violence. And im here to help
with some hot tips for gorier,

more terrifying gender reveals
that dads will love even more

than their kids.

First up, cakes are for cowards,
but what if you replaced the

food coloring with wasps if its
a boy, hornets if its a girl.

Either way, good luck getting
them in the cake.

( Laughter )
Or how about a celebratory

street riot and give the police
the correct color tear gas?

"Aaahhh!

Its a girl!

Are these tears of joy?!"
( Laughter )

( Piano riff )
How about gathering friends and

family for an enhanced reveal,
by waterboarding the couple in

either pink or blue gatorade.

"Its a boy!

I swear thats all I know!

Please god stop!"
But for the baddest-ass of all

badass reveals, have the
fathers body injected with

either pink or blue dye.

Then the mom can plunge her hand
into the fathers chest and rip

out his colored heart!

Hey!

Its a boy!

Now, take a celebratory bite out
of the heart to provide your

unborn child with valuable
nutrients!

( Laughter )
Or perhaps thats too far.

Well, thats all for "Stephen
Colbert level ten baby-master."

Join me next time when I show
you how, using nothing but a

ziploc bag full of gravy, anyone
can breastfeed.

Well be right back with Ben
stiller.

( Cheers and applause )
( Band playing )

( Cheers and applause )
( Band playing )

Stephen: Ladies and
gentlemen, what a treat for you

right now!

What a treat, because my first
guest tonight is an actor,

director you know from "meet the
parents," "zoolander," please

welcome back to "the late show,"
Ben stiller!

( Cheers and applause )
( Band playing )

( Cheers and applause )
( Band playing )

Thank you!

Stephen: Hey!

All right!

Nice to see ya!

Happy Thursday!

Stephen: Happy Thursday to
you, too!

( Cheers and applause )
Do you know how I remember its

Thursday?

Its always this tie on
Thursday.

Its the Thursday tie.

Stephen: My Thursday tie.

Just for Thursday.

Stephen: Thats how I know.

Yep.

Stephen: They drape this
over me when I wake up in the

morning and I said its my
Thursday time.

Reminds you its Thursday.

Stephen: How are you
feeling?

I havent talked to you in a
wheel or something like that?

Yeah, feels good.

Its always great to come here
because of the history of this

place... and you, too!

( Laughter )
Mainly you.

And also the history.

Stephen: You know why I
like talking to you?

You remind me of someone else.

You know, I pretend im talking
to him and im, like, this is

going to be good!

I was going to go further
back because my parents did the

ed Sullivan show 30 times in
this theater.

Stephen: I think I have a
ticket to one of the shows.

I have a framed ticket from the
ed Sullivan show.

Seriously.

Stephen: I have a ticket to
the night your folks were on.

Were you, like, three in.

Stephen: No, someone gave a
present... go now.

Yeah...
Stephen: You know why I

like you here?

The Dutch settled this and
called it new Amsterdam.

I love it.

Midterms were last week.

I understand you got a little
political.

Im not political.

Stephen: Now you are.

I out you.

Im happy to be out.

Yeah, I went and canvassed for a
State Senate candidate who won

Andrew ginardis in Brooklyn.

( Applause )
We knocked door to door in brick

Lynn.

I wanted to be active and help
get out the vote.

Stephen: A lot of people go
for the bigger, sexier

positions, like...
He eeks sexy.

( Laughter )
Hes cool.

Hes 33 and hes doing a lot of
great stuff.

It was fun.

I had never done that before.

In 2008, I did something for
rock the boat, and thats the

last time I had done something.

Stephen: Is that what this
is?

I have a little picture here.

Yes, I went out with this
Beastie Boys and did a couple of

concerts.

Yes.

( Cheers and applause )
Stephen: Right there.

In case you cant tell which one
is him, thats you right there.

Yeah.

Well, the idea was I would be at
rock.

So for his verse, he went
offstage, I came out dressed as

him and did the verse.

Stephen: Did people notice
the change at all?

Yes, they did.

Yeah.

Stephen: It must have been
exciting.

It was the most nervous I had
ever been in my life.

Canton, Ohio, in an arena.

We did Columbus, also.

You know, first of all, the
Beastie Boys.

Stephen: Sure.

Theyre iconic.

Then to be on stage and to have
to do a verse and be in front of

people and perform and I never,
you know...

Stephen: This is a mccain
rally?

Raising money?

No, it was just rock the boat.

Stephen: Just rock the
boat.

Doesnt matter whose vote you
rock, just rock the vote.

Get the young people out and
get them motivated.

It was really fun.

Stephen: But it wasnt the
first time you had rocked it, I

understand.

Well, I was in a band in high
school.

Stephen: Yeah, these
people?

Yeah, well, some of them are
in there, yeah.

Stephen: Yeah.

We never actually played in
front of people.

We played once, but we recorded
an album.

Stephen: Called?

Called road kill.

( Laughter )
Stephen: And the name of

the band?

Capital punishment.

Stephen: Okay.

Shall we show the people?

Yeah.

Stephen: Heres capital
punishment.

Thats the band.

( Cheering )
Yes.

There he is.

Stephen: Yeah.

Yep.

( Laughter )
Stephen: Thats good.

Thats Peter zuest I.

And Chris robling.

He wrote all the songs and Peter
is now a professor of literature

at the university of London and
our bass player is the chief of

Arizona court of appeals.

Stephen: Wow, youve
achieved nothing compared to

them.

They do real things.

Stephen: Actual culture,
the law.

I know.

Stephen: Wow!

Its hard to get together to
rehearse because everybodys all

over the place.

Stephen: But you, are is my
understanding.

Somebody discovered road kill
a few years ago, a real record

label and they put it out,
captured tracks.

Stephen: Is that what this
is?

No, thats the follow-up
album we recorded.

Stephen: Is this an
exclusive?

Yes, ths an exclusive for this
theater.

Stephen: Whats this
called?

Its called "this is capital
punishment" and its our

follow-up album.

Stephen: Drumming out time
inside of me, hot love, grain

illuminate and Shannon Rose.

And I would say hot love is
probably going to be the single.

Stephen: Again, you played
what on this?

Drums.

And it drops black Friday.

Stephen: Awesome.

Awesome.

There are going to be people
rushing the pictures o, breaking

down the stores.

We were going to use that for
the cover but we went with

black.

Stephen: You are one to
have the funniest people in show

business yet you have walked
away from your first love funny

to make this new movie "escape
at dannemora."

Right, its a limited series
on show "time."

Stephen: Okay.

What is it about?

Its about a true story of
this escape from Clinton

correctional prison up in
upstate New York three years

ago, these two murderers seduced
a woman who worked in a tailor

shop and escaped into the
adirondacks for three weeks.

Stephen: All three?

He was supposed to meet up
with them but changed her mind.

Stephen: Because they
were...

Well, there was a lot going on.

Its a big commitment.

Stephen: Theyre escaped
criminals.

Theyre escaped criminals but
she wanted to get out of her

life, and she was supposed to
meet them outside this manhole

but she didnt show up.

But she helped them escape.

She smuggled hacksaw blades into
frozen hamburger meat, gave it

to a corrections officer who
walked it in, who didnt know

that the hacksaw blade was in,
buzz he wasnt supposed to give

them meat anyway.

Stephen: It was all vegan.

Yes, the only vegan prison in
New York state.

Stephen: Why did you want
to do this story?

It was an amazing story to me.

How do people escape from prison
in 2015?

Sawing their way out the back of
a cell into an 18-inch steam

pipe they squeezed into.

It was a crazy story.

We wanted to find out what
happened and tell the real

version of it.

Stephen: We have a clip
here.

Do you know whats happening?

Yes, this is del toro who
plays Richard Matt and hes

working in the at a roar shop
that Patricia arquette

( applause )
Whom he oversees and hes

working her in this scene.

Did you know that in nature
there are no right angles, but

in here there are all right
angles.

Its an engineered environment.

Bars up, bars down, bars across.

And the people inside... they
need to be right angles, too.

What the ( Bleep ) Are you
talk about?

( Cheers and applause )
Stephen: Its amazing.

I didnt recognize her at all.

Yeah, shes an amazing actress.

Stephen: Did you shoot
where this happened?

We shot in the real prison a
bit.

Outside of the real prison we
got them to open up the manhole

they escaped out of.

Were lucky the governor of
New York state helped us get

into the prison.

Stephen: Andrew cuomo?

Yes, Andrew cuomo himself.

We were trying to get access to
the prison for about a year and

the New York state didnt want
to help us because they didnt

want to advertise what happened.

Stephen: Right.

Which I can understand.

Stephen: Our prisons are
great except when murderers

escape.

Or the people who work there
have sex with the murderers.

Stephen:.

But we got a meeting with him
and I said this is what were

doing and he said, how can we
help you?

And he said, can we shoot at the
prison?

He said, you got to shoot at the
prison.

I said, okay.

Great.

Stephen: So few people have
an impression of Andrew cuomo.

( Laughter )
Its getting amazing reviews.

Whats the next comedy, though?

Thats a good question.

I dont know.

I have no idea.

ID like to do a comedy again.

I would like to keep doing
comedic stuff.

Stephen: Good luck.

Thank you!

( Cheers and applause )
Stephen: Good luck laughing

at something.

I mean, these days.

Stephen: Good luck with
capital punishment.

Thank you.

Well, thats my real love.

Stephen: Dont say that at
the prison.

( Laughter )
Nice to see you.

Good to see you.

Stephen: "Escape at
dannemora" premieres this Sunday

on show "time"!

Mr. Ben stiller, everybody!

Well be right back with jemele
hill!

( Cheers and applause )
Stephen: Ladies and

gentlemen, folks, my next guest
is an outspoken journalist who

spent 12 years at ESPN and is
now a staff writer at "the

Atlantic," please welcome jemele
hill!

( Cheers and applause )
( Band playing )

Stephen: Thanks for being
here.

Thank you for having me.

Stephen: Well, you famously
tweeted about Donald Trump.

Mmm...

Stephen: And if I can get
straight this, this is after

charlottesville, right?

Mm-hmm.

Stephen: And you aid Donald
Trump is a white supremacist who

has largely surrounded himself
with other white supremacists.

( Cheers and applause )
Yep.

Show me the lie.

Stephen: I think a tweet
that has held up like a fine

wine.

( Laughter )
But heres the thing, the

president tweeted back at you
and said, "with jemele hill at

the mic, its no wonder ESPN
ratings have tanked, in fact

tanked so badly its the talk of
the industry."

What is your reaction when you
see that the president of the

United States is tweeting at
you?

Well, number one, I was super
impressed h he spelled my name

right.

Stephen: All right, one l.

One l, three es.

That trips a lot of people uh
because grammar isnt exactly

his thing.

Stephen: No.

But as a journalist you sort
of live for that moment because

most of us live for the day when
city hall comes after us, so I

was amused and took it as a
really big compliment.

You know what they say, hit dogs
holler.

Stephen: Ive heard that.

I dont understand it, but ive
heard it.

( Laughter )
Sports and politics have been

intertwined for a long time.

What... with Trump interjecting
himself into sports a lot, do

you think theyre more connected
now than ever or is this just

par for the course?

No, theyve always been
connected.

I mean, theres a huge bastion
of people who believe sports and

politics dont mix.

Some people dont like the
veggies and mashed potatoes

touching, but in this case
theyve always mixed together.

Jackie Robinson integrated
baseball 20 years before the

civil rights act, Muhammad Ali,
bill Russo.

Weve had these intersections
between sports, race, politics

and gender and usually I find
the people who object at the

intersection dont like the
views expressed.

Theyre mixing in a way that
makes them uncomfortable.

Stephen: Because if a
member of the team said

something positive about the
president, he wouldnt object in

any way?

Exactly.

I harkin back to my colleague
Tim te tebow.

Egave him a lot of credit
because he put his name behind

something he believed, one of
the most divisive things in the

country.

I didnt hear a lot of backlash.

Colin kaepernick talking about
police brutality and equality,

these issues arent necessarily
political, some of this is just

simply right and wrong.

To me, politics is when you have
a pro and con argument.

Is anybody out there pro racism?

Is anybody out there pro police
brutality?

So what are we arguing about.

Stephen: Ill send you some
disturbing tweets.

Do I understand that, but
its just that people have

become so porlzized about issues
that frankly we should all be on

board with and in agreement
with.

( Cheers and applause )
Stephen: Now, youre

narrating a three-part
documentary series called shut

up and dribble.

Executive produced by LeBron
James.

I should know this, but where...
Who said shut up and dribble?

Some woman on fox.

Stephen: Im serious.

I cant remember...
I think it was Laura ingram.

Stephen: Who did she say
that?

The president and LeBron
were both in an uber commercial.

LeBron made it no secret how
he feels about the president.

One of the most retweeted tweets
of this year is when he called

the president a bum.

No 144 characters, you get four.

You bum.

Not even y-o-u... u bum.

So LeBron made it no secret
how he feels about him.

That was her response.

I should be thanking her.

So way to give he another check.

Stephen: Where do you put
LeBron in the history of

sports and activism, if not
politics.

Hes definitely near the top.

Think about his story.

This is one of the greatest
American stories weve ever

heard.

Somebody who his mother was 15
when she had him, moved around a

lot as a kid, came from poverty.

Its funny that Donald Trump
fashions himself as self-made.

LeBron is the self-made
millionaire when you look at

everything hes done and
accomplished.

So with him being willing to use
his voice and platform to get

out his message and to tell the
type of stories he feels like

speak to the multidimensional
layers of athletes, hes really

set a tone.

I always think that in every
generation, whoever is the

athlete of that generation,
thats the one that other

athletes follow.

Now the two most important
athletes of this generation are

Colin kaepernick and LeBron
James.

Now you see other athletes want
to be vocal and activated.

Stephen: How do you think
Colin kaepernick will be

remembered?

I think as a hero.

Stephen: Do you think hell
play again?

No.

It pains me to say this because
this was somebody that was one

underthrow from going back to
back super bowls but I dont

think hell ever play again,
theyre kind of dug in on that.

Remember what you say today and
how that will be remembered

later.

20 years ago, the n.F.L. Will
have to be answered that they

blackballed somebody from the
league and stood for equality.

If Colin kaepernick hit a woman,
he would be back in the n.F.L. L

but because hes not playing
because of his stance on social

justice and it makes the
ownership and fan base

uncomfortable.

Stephen: "Shut up and
dribble" airs Saturdays at

9:00 P.M. on showtime.

Jemele hill, everybody!

Well be right back with a
performance by jorja Smith.

( Cheers and applause )
( Band playing )

( Cheers and applause )
( Band playing )

Stephen: And now performing,
"dont watch me cry" from her

album, "lost and found," ladies
and gentlemen, jorja Smith!

(Cheers and applause

)
♪ oh, it hurts the most

cause I dont know the cause
♪ maybe I shouldnt have cried

when you left and
♪ told me not to wait

oh, it kills the most
♪ to say that I still care

now im left tryna
♪ rewind the times you

held and kissed me back
♪ I wonder if youre thinking

is she alright all alone
♪ I wonder if you tried to call

but couldnt find your phone
♪ have I ever

crossed your thoughts
♪ because your names

all over mine
♪ a moment in time

dont watch me cry
♪ a moment in time

dont watch me cry
♪ im not crying cause

you left me on my own
♪ im not crying cause

you left me with no warning
♪ im just crying cause

I cant escape
♪ what couldve been

are you aware
♪ when you set me free

all I can do is
♪ let my heart bleed

oh, its harder when
♪ you cant see

through the thoughts
♪ not that I wanna get in

but I want to see
♪ how your mind works

no, its harder when
♪ they dont know

what theyve done
♪ thinking its

better they leave
♪ meaning that ill

have to move on
♪ oh, I wonder

if youre thinking
♪ is she alright all alone

I wonder if you tried to call
♪ but couldnt find your phone

have I ever
♪ crossed your thoughts

because your names
♪ all over mine

a moment in time
♪ dont watch me cry

a moment in time
♪ dont watch me cry

♪ cause you left me on my own
im not crying

♪ cause you left me
with no warning

♪ im just crying
cause I cant escape

♪ what couldve been
are you aware

♪ when you set me free
all I can do is

♪ let my heart bleed
(Cheers and applause

)

Stephen: Jorja Smith,
everybody!

Well be right back.

- (Cheers and applause
- ) >> Stephen: Thats it for "the

late show."

Tune in tomorrow when my guests
will be timothee chalamet,

comedian Graham Kay, and a
special appearance by supreme

court justice Sonia sotomayor.

Now stick around for James
corden.

Goodnight!

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