The Bionic Woman (1976–1978): Season 2, Episode 8 - Sister Jaime - full transcript

Jaime takes the place of an infamous female courier and goes undercover as a nun in a convent where diamonds are being exchanged for heroin.

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Let go of me!

Let me go! I told you
to shut up!

I'll call the police!

Now, you don't want to do
that now, do you, Sister?

All right, hands on the wall. Let's go.

You heard the man.

She's clean.


Well, Marlene Stoler.

Which charge would you prefer
that I arrest you on?

Espionage, sabotage?


Mr. Goldman?
She's got 'em all right.

Who were you going to deliver these to, hmm?

Come on, Marlene.

Well, I guess I can't expect you
to answer that.

Here's a bus ticket.

Take her away.


it looks like you're on,

Sister Jaime.

What was she carrying?



Special industrial diamonds

designed for classified
use by the O.S.I.

What are they worth?

Three quarters of a million dollars.

Oscar, I'm a little concerned about walking
through this area

with something this valuable.

You're gonna do fine, Jaime.

You're gonna pose as a courier until
someone contacts you.

And when they do,

you're gonna tell me about it.

Tell me what he looks like and we'll
move in immediately.

Now, the contact may
take place on the bus

that she was supposed to get on,
or en route,

or maybe even inside the convent.

Inside the convent...

Oh, Oscar, I don't know if I can
carry this off that far...


You're gonna do fine.
I told you.

You're just what every convent needs.

A bionic nun.

Oh, God help me.

Come in, Snow White. This is Bashful.
Can you hear me?

I read you loud and clear, Bashful.
Where are you?

I'm just outside the convent.

And I got my diamonds
in my suitcase.

Any contact yet?

No, nothing in the terminal
or on the bus.

Well, I'm afraid you're just gonna have to
go into the convent, Jaime.

Oh, come on!

Jaime, you know what you're doing.

You're going to be fine.

Yeah, sure.

Oh, somebody's coming
here. I'll call you back.


Have you just arrived?


Here, let me help you with that.

No, that's all right.
I can handle it.

It was bent last week
by a delivery truck.

Thank you.

May I help you with that?

No, I'll handle it.
Please, let me try. Come on.


There. I think it'll be all right now.

Thank you.

Have you brought everything?

Everything... Uh, yes.

Good. Please come this way.

Oh, how beautiful.

How long have you...
Come along.

The Mother Superior is expecting you.

The Mother Superior.

You are from St. Michael's?

Yes, Reverend Mother.

I was not told your name.

Sister Jaime.

Very well, Sister Jaime.

What are you waiting
for, Sister Barbara?

Be on about your duties.

Yes, Reverend Mother.

Turn around. Turn around.
Let's have a look at you.

Fairly presentable, I suppose.

If you're gonna be one of my nuns,

you must be certain that your look
and your attitude

is presentable at all times.
Is that clear?

Yes, Reverend Mother.

I do not tolerate misbehavior of any kind.
Is that very clear?


Excuse me, Reverend Mother.

Yes, Sister Beverly?

The Bishop is on the phone for you.

Very well. Tell him I'll be
right with him.

Come along in here and finish waxing
the dining-room floor.

Sister Jaime here will help you.

Yes, Reverend Mother.

Sister Jaime,

you may leave your suitcase over there
by the fireplace.

Out of the way.

Welcome to the Bounty.

The Bounty?

Captain Bligh, "All hands out to
swab the decks."

Father, forgive me.

Oh, it is truly refreshing to find somebody who
can smile around here.

I was beginning to wonder what...

Well, there hasn't been very much to
smile about recently.

We'd best begin before she returns.

I'll go get the buffers.

Welcome to the cloth.


Well, when I came here, I knew I'd be doing
a lot of kneeling,

but this isn't quite
what I had envisioned.

Yes, some portions of God's work are most
certainly a drag.

A drag?

Oh, forgive me.

I taught high school in the archdiocese
before I came here.

And I'm afraid some of my students'
more colorful colloquialisms

have transferred themselves onto me.

Well, I also taught high school,

so I can dig it.

Hey, why did you say to me that there wasn't
much to smile about?

This was once quite a happy place.

The Reverend Mother used to be
a joy to be around,

but lately she's become really



Oh, I don't know.

But she's completely
lost her sense of humor.

She noses into everything, keeps an eagle eye
on everyone,

and she's really protective
of the winery.

The what?

We have a winery on the convent grounds
where we make sherry.

Excellent sherry called Convent Gardens.

Oh, I've heard of that.

You know, this place
sounds so interesting,

I really can't wait to look around some more.

Well, you don't dare
until this work is finished.

And after that, I'm afraid there won't
be much time today.

I'm going to get a glass of water.
Shall I bring you some?

Oh, I'd love it.
Thank you.


Sister Jaime, I...


Sister Jaime?

Reverend Mother,
you startled me.

What are you doing out here?

Well, we finished polishing the floors,

and I thought I'd just
take a look around.

Oh, and then I heard about the winery that
you operate here.

I thought it would be so interesting just
to go over and see it.

You have no business
at the winery.

You are to stay away from there,
is that clearly understood?

Yes, Reverend Mother.

Very well. You may go to your
room now and unpack.

Yes, Mother.


PRIEST: Hurry along, Sister.
Come inside.


I'm gathering my thoughts, Father.

That's quite unnecessary. Just gather the diamonds
and give them to me.

The diamonds?

Come on, hurry up, woman.
I don't have all day.

Well, I left them in my room,
so I can't...

Don't lie to me, Marlene.
I searched your room.

They told me you might
try something cute.

Now, I don't want to keep our
buyers waiting.

I have a pistol with a silencer
aimed right at you.

You have three seconds
to give me the diamonds.

One, two...

Okay, all right, all right.

All right, now,
what about my share?

Remember our agreement, huh?





Sister Jaime.

It's time for noonday prayer.
This way.

This way, Sister.

JAIME: Come in, Snow White, this is Bashful.
Can you read me?

OSCAR: Yes, Bashful,
[can hear you fine.

That's too bad.

Well, I've got some good news

and I've got some bad news for you.

What's the good news, Jaime?

I think they've accepted me
as one of the sisters.

Well, with that angelic face of yours, I knew
that they would.

Now, what's the bad news?

I, um, lost the diamonds.

You what?

I lost the diamonds, Oscar.

Well, see, the guy contacted me and I had
to give them to him.

But you saw who he was.


Jaime, the whole idea was that...

I know, Oscar, but it was dark in there

and I feel terrible about it, too.

But I do know something. I'm not the only
imposter around here.

He was dressed as a priest.

Also, the Mother Superior has been acting
very, very strange.

What do you mean?

But she's so tense and
she's extremely protective

of the winery that they operate here.

And you think that the winery might have something
to do with this?

Well, it's a good bet. And I'm definitely going
to check it out.

Oscar? Hello?
You there?


Oh, yes.
I'm here, Jaime.

I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to
explain to the Secretary

and the budget department how we lost three
quarters of a million dollars

worth of secret O.S.I. diamonds.

Well, Oscar, I think we'll find your diamonds.

You just have to have
a little more faith.

Okay? Bye.

Excuse me, Mother.

With whom were you speaking,
Sister Jaime?

Well, with Him, Reverend Mother.


How long were you at St. Michael's, Sister?

Not nearly as long as
I would like to have been.

Bishop Parriott visited there quite
frequently, didn't he?

I actually never got
to meet him, myself.


And where were you going now?

To familiarize myself
with the convent.

I thought that would be
a good idea.

Very well, you may begin by familiarizing yourself
with a little work in the garden.

You join Sister Margo
outside the chapel.

Fine, Reverend Mother.

And, Sister,

you're not to come back in

until the garden is completely tilled.

Yes, Reverend Mother.

Sister Jaime?

Yes, Sister Beverly.

How were you able to wax
that floor so swiftly?

Oh, I always like to
get my work done quickly.

I can get on to other
things that way.

Yes, but that doesn't really answer...

I'm in a very big hurry now. The Reverend Mother
is right behind me.

Can you tell me who Sister Margo is?

Oh, yes, right there.

Thank you.


I'm Sister Jaime.


Yes. Swell.

I'm very fond of Latin,
aren't you?

And I don't think we speak hardly enough
of it anymore.

Well, I know I certainly don't,

and how quickly we get rusty.
Isn't it terrible?


After you.

I was very disappointed when we began holding
our services in English.

I can imagine.

It upsets me when people call Latin
a dead language.

Do you know what I say to that?



Oh, is that the winery there?


I sure would like to go in there.

Oh, no. Don't let the Mother Superior
catch you down there.

She won't allow any of the new sisters inside.

Why not?

Well, I don't know.

She's become so suspicious

and stifling in the last few weeks.

If I didn't have my studies of Latin
to content me,

I would have no happiness at all here.


Oh, dear, look what's
happened here.


Oh, my goodness!
How did you do that?

I don't know. It must've just run into
something very strong.

But no problem.
I can go get another one.

Oh, no. You'd best let me do it.
You'd never find one.

No, I don't mind, really. It's all right.
No, I'll go.

And then we'll finish this up, so the Mother
Superior won't be angry at us.





BEVERLY: Were you working
with Sister Jaime?


Sister Margo,

do we have any books on miracles?


All right, get the barrels unloaded.


be more careful

about how you put those
labels on those bottles.

Yes, Reverend Mother.

Sister Eileen,

get Sister Connie and Sister Ursula
to help you

pack the sherry into the cartons.

Right away, Reverend Mother.

PRIEST: That's it. - Bring the barrel
over this way.

Father Thomas, I trust you've tested the quality
of this shipment of wine?

Oh, yes, Mother. It will make the finest
quality sherry possible.

It came directly from our usual vineyard in
the south of France.

Very good.

See that you follow through with absolute
precision and care.

Everything must be in perfect order.

You know the Bishop.

Oh, I understand.
It shall be done.

Stack it right there.

MOTHER SUPERIOR: Sister Eileen, hurry along
with those bottles.

Yes, Reverend Mother.

This is powdered wine?

Whoa! Talk about the Flying Nun!




This is Father Thomas.

I just saw one of the sisters
snooping around.

I think we better accelerate our plan.

Don't worry, I'm not about to jeopardize

a million-dollar operation.

If she comes around again,

I'll be sure to administer
the last rites on her.

OSCAR: All right, Jaime, that's a pretty
good description.

Now, he calls himself
Father Thomas?

Yes. And I found out that
he came down here

from St. John's in the Napa Valley,

and also, nobody here seems to have known
him before that.

We'll see what we can
find out about him.

Okay. But don't ask the Bishop.

Because I think he and the Mother Superior could
be involved in this.


Well, there's something going on between them. I
don't know what it is, but...

All right. Now, what
have you done

about finding those diamonds, Jaime?

Oh, Oscar, I've prayed a lot.
I really have.

Now, listen, Jaime,
I'm getting a lot of heat

about you losing those diamonds.

You know how much they cost.

Oscar, how much would a barrel
of heroin be worth?

A barrel full of heroin?

How much?

About 15 million.

Well, don't worry, we will get your
diamonds back.

But I think we have stumbled on to something we
weren't even counting on.

Jaime, what are you talking about, a barrel
full of heroin?

Oscar, look, I'll get back to you
in a little while, okay?




TRUCKER: We'll finish bringing down
the heroin tomorrow.


I've scheduled a big meeting for
8:00 in the morning,

so our buyers can check out all the goods.

Come on out of there now.


Oh, it's no fair,
hiding the heroin.

Oh, where could they
have put that?

Come in, Snow White, this is Happy.
Can you read me?

Five by five, why are you Happy?

Because I found your little old diamonds,

and 15 million in heroin.

Apparently, they're using their import/export

to smuggle things in and out of the country.

OSCAR: Fantastic, Jaime.

What'd you find out about Father Thomas?

Well, there was a Father Thomas

who left the parish at Napa Valley

to go down there,

but unfortunately the description
doesn't match.

The man who calls himself Father Thomas
is obviously an imposter.

Jaime, we're gonna move in right away.

No, don't do that now. I'm the only one
in the winery.

Now, I heard them talking,

and they said that the buyers are gonna
be here tomorrow

to check out the goods
at 8:00 in the morning.

So if you come at 8:15, then you've got everybody
all together,

and the evidence as well, huh?

All right, Jaime, we'll be there at 8:15
with the troops.

Have a good night's rest.

You got it. Bye.




Oh, Father.


Oh, heavenly Father,

I am so lost, so confused,

so ashamed.

I was furious with that young woman

for impersonating one of our sisters

until I saw what she had discovered.

And then I realized that I had failed
in my faith,

and that I must bear the blame

for this terrible transgression that's
come to pass.


How could they have committed

this vile sacrilege against our convent?

How could they?

Reverend Mother?

Please, child, let me be.

I'm sorry I had to deceive you.

Oh, no.

You must not be ashamed.

What you did was for a good
and righteous cause.

Well, if you really believe that,

then don't grieve like this.

These people will be brought to justice and
everything will be back to normal again.

You don't understand, child.

This means the end of the convent.

Oh, no, it doesn't. What are you
talking about?

Oh, yes, it does.

A scandal like this is just the kind of thing

that the Bishop is looking for,

as an excuse to take the winery away from us
and dissolve this convent.


Because he's the biggest male chauvinist
that ever lived.

It has always annoyed him

that the sisters and I did a better job of
running the winery

than the monks that ran it before.

I was so sure that he had sent you here

to spy on me.

Lately he's been giving me an increasingly
difficult time.

So you have been giving the sisters an
increasingly difficult time.

I have?


I suppose I have become harsh,

but what else was I to do?

Well, why wouldn't you
share it with them?

They respect and love you
very, very much.

And you've been trying
to do this all by yourself,

this entire burden,
carrying it on your back.

Perhaps you're right.

Perhaps the Bishop is right also.

The monks never would have allowed

such a scandalous situation
as you uncovered.

Smuggling heroin.

Oh, now, wait a minute. Come on, these people
are very shrewd.

They could have fooled anyone,
including the monks.


I'm afraid the Bishop is not going to
see it that way

after he comes for inspection
tomorrow morning.

What, the Bishop is coming here tomorrow?

Tomorrow morning at 8:30.

Oh, well, can't you ask him
to come any later?

Yes, then he'd come at 7:30.

But it wouldn't matter. He'll find out
sooner or later.

And all our work will be lost.

It is ironic.

This was to have been
the last inspection

before giving us the winery permanently.

Now, wait a minute. There's gotta be
something that we can do.

Maybe you could get your people to make
their arrest a little earlier.

No, you see they have to catch them

at the most incriminating time,

and with the evidence
on them, of course.

And I don't think that we could ask the criminals
to change their timetable.

Thank you for trying, my child.

Now, I suppose

it's God's will that we should lose
the convent.

No. No, I'm sorry.
I can't accept that.

God did not make me a quitter

and I don't believe he made you one, either.

Now, there has got to be something
that we can do.

It's hopeless.

It isn't hopeless.

Listen, we can fight those bad guys

and we can fight my people, too, if we have to,
to save the convent.

I think we should go wake up the sisters,
don't you?

Do you really think we can do it?

Well, of course we can do it.

Tell me one thing that you can think of that could
stop a fired-up group

of female Christian soldiers,

especially with a little help from
our friend up there.

So, Bishop Parriott has been making life very
difficult for the Reverend Mother.

No wonder she's been
so bent out of shape.

Poor, dear lady.

Here she comes.

Thank you, Sisters.

Your love has touched me deeply.

And I am sorry that I let my troubles

turn me into such an old crow.


And I promise, from now on,

to share the difficult times as
well as the happy ones

if that's what you would like.


All right, I want you
to pay close attention

to Sister Jaime.

Thank you,
Reverend Mother. Okay.

I've already described to you the situation
over at the winery.

And now I'm gonna show you
the rest of it.

A real chalk talk.

All right. This is the convent, the winery, the
back drive and the front drive.

Now, we can count on
the forces of law and order

to enter here and here.

And what they plan to do is to arrest the
criminals here in the winery.

However, if they do arrest them on the
convent property,

the Mother Superior is certain that the Bishop
will use this scandal

to take the winery from your control

and disburse you to other convents.

Now, we don't want this
to happen, right?

ALL: No!

All right, now, the smugglers
are gonna be here at 8:00.

What we have to do is detain the police
from arresting them

long enough for us to lure the smugglers off of
the convent property,

and all of that has to be done before 8:30
when the Bishop gets here.

Other than that,
we have no problems.

Do you think we can do it?

ALL: Yes.

JAIME: All right, now, I have worked
out a plan.

Now, tell me what you think.

The first place we start is the winery.

Tonight, we'll go over to the winery
while there's no one there,

and take all of the diamonds and the heroin
out of the hiding place.

Then we'll load that special keg of theirs
on to the truck.


Now, Sister Margo,
you get three hacksaws and...

MARGO: Hacksaws?
- That's right.

Meet me at the back fence at 4:00 am.

What we have to do is clear off a path

to lead the criminals
off the convent grounds

without using the front
or the back entrances.

Okay, then at 8:25,

I will see that the criminals are dropped right
in the government's lap.

Now, Sister Eileen will ring the bells when she
sees the Bishop,

hopefully at 8:28.

And then I'll let the Bishop in the
front gate at 8:29.

I think we have done about everything we can
possibly do.

Not quite, Sisters.

It's almost 8:00.

Now, remember, we must stick exactly
to our timetable.

The criminals will arrive and drive down to
the winery at 8:00.

Are you sure the nuns
won't come over here?

Not till later. They've got morning
prayers at 8:00.

Here come our buyers.

JAIME: At 8:05, I'll block the front gate
with the old car.


At 8:07, Sisters Beverly and Ursula will prepare
to steal the truck.


By 8:10, the government
will arrive in the front

and discover that the entrance is blocked.

The front entrance is blocked?

We'll move in from the back way.

And by 8:12, the government will
arrive at the back gate.

What in the world?

You're gonna be really amazed by what
you're about to see.

By 8:15, the criminals will discover that
something's missing. Ha, ha.

Well, it's gotta be here somewhere.

Let's check outside.

By 8:16, they'll run
to check outside.

I'm sorry, ma'am, but you're gonna have to
get the flock out of here.

Patience, sir, this one's
giving birth to a lamb.

Uh, this is police business, ma'am.

God's business comes first.

There's another entrance down that way if you're
in such a hurry.

Okay, down that way.
Let's go.

By 8:18,

Sister Barbara will have
started the government men

in the direction we want them to go.

At 8:19, Sisters Beverly and Ursula will steal
the criminals' truck.

Hey, hold it!

Hey, our stuff's on that truck!
Come back here!

Let's head them off.

By 8:20, they'll take
the bait and go after them.

And the Bishop should be about
nine minutes away.

By 8:21, Sister Beverly will be leading the crooks
down the road

toward the back gate.

Hold on tight.

They're catching up.
We gotta keep on trucking.

At 8:22, Sister Beverly
will turn off the road,

and head across the field.
Here we go.

Where's she going?

Stay with her, Charlie,
we're closing the gap.

JAIME: And the bad guys
will think she's crazy.

She's not gonna get through that fence.

At 8:23, Sister Margo will topple ”over-um
the fence-ium. ”


JAIME: And we'll have the bad guys off
the convent grounds.



Then at 8:25, I will see that the criminals are
dropped right in the government's lap.

Lord, help us.


Jaime, what are you doing?

Oscar, there's your suspects right there.
Take 'em all in.

What are you talking about?
You've got nothing on us.

Jaime, I told you, you gotta catch them
with the evidence on them.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you might try checking
their backseats.

Wait a minute.

How did that stuff get in there?

God works in mysterious ways.

CHARLIE: We don't know
anything about that stuff.

Check the other car, too.


PRIEST: Hey, there's
nothing in there.

Now, hold on.
We've been framed!

Take 'em away!

You and I have got to have a little talk.


Ah, the Bishop.
I gotta go.


And I will let the Bishop in at 8:29.



Good morning, Bishop Parriott.

The Reverend Mother's
expecting you.

So the Bishop was satisfied, yes?

Begrudgingly, but completely.

The winery is ours.

That's great.

The Mother Superior certainly seems a lot
happier these days.

I think she's learned that a burden is easier to
carry when it's shared.


Right on!


Thank you.

Take care, Sister.

Bless you.
Thank you, okay.

Reverend Mother.

Sister Jaime.

I'm very sorry to see you leave.

Well, I have other work
I must get home to.

I'm sure you do.

But I'm also certain the convent will not be
the same without you.

I have seen the miraculous gifts

which God has bestowed
upon you, my child.

I pray you shall always
use them wisely.

I try to, Reverend Mother.

I really do.

God bless you, Sister Jaime.