The Big Bang Theory (2007–…): Season 10, Episode 20 - The Recollection Dissipation - full transcript

Sheldon reaches his limit when he works on projects with Leonard, Wolowitz and Amy in one day.

Hey, Leonard, if you're
not busy tomorrow,

I have to do a little
reception after work.

Oh, I would, but we need to make
a push on the air force project.

Oh, are you sure?

We're celebrating
our new a.D.D. Drug,

and it'll probably be over
in, like, six minutes.

Did you say you guys
are working on

the guidance system tomorrow?
Yeah, why?

Well, Sheldon said that
he was gonna work with me

on our quantum
perception project.

We've had this planned
for a week.

Well, he reconfirmed
with me this morning.

Guys, before this
gets ugly, remember,

the winner gets Sheldon.

Hey, raj, do you want
to go with me tomorrow?

Are you asking because you
want me there or out of pity?

Actually, never mind,
don't answer.

I'd love to.


Why did you tell Leonard
you're working on

the gyroscope tomorrow?
Because I am.

But you said you were
working with me.
Penny: Uh-oh.

Someone's got two dates
to the nerd prom.

I have a plan

to work on both
projects simultaneously.

And for your information,
the summer conference

on algebraic topology
at Caltech is nerd prom.

I'm sorry, what is
this plan you have?

Well, I'm not needed at
both places at the same time.

And I can also free up extra
hours with simple tricks,

such as using a minimal amount
of words to convey my point.

When does
that start?


See, I could've said

"in the near future," but i
didn't say "in the near future,"

'cause "in the near future" is
three more words than "soon."

"In" one, "the" two, "near"
three, "future" four.

See "in the near future"
is four, "soon" is just one,

four is more than one;
Saving time already.


I was gonna say,

"why does anyone think
Sheldon's a genius?"

But I didn't.

? Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ?

? then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... wait! ?

? the earth began to cool ?

? the autotrophs began to drool,
neanderthals developed tools ?

? we built the wall ?
? we built the pyramids ?

? math, science, history,
unraveling the mystery ?

? that all started
with a big bang ?

? bang! ?

gentlemen, I've got
Amy up and running.

Shall we get to work?

Uh, before we do,
what are you wearing,

oh, friend who
we pretend is normal?

These are hydration backpacks.

Eh, for efficiency,
whenever I'm thirsty,

I have access to water.

Eh, when I'm hungry,
i have lentil soup.

It's getting harder to pretend.

Anyway, Sheldon, we're
at a decision point

to run the xenon stream
through the cryocooler

or through the
vacuum filter.

Run down the pros and cons
of each for me.

Well, if we run the xenon stream
through the cryocooler,

it'll be cooled immediately

before it reacts
with the conduction.


Oh, sorry, uh, carrot chunk.

You can just feel
the time being saved.

Ah, I'm back, you got me
for eight minutes.

this is silly.

You can't expect us
to do quality work

with you popping
in and out like this.

The coefficient isn't lambda,
it's lambda sub one.

And over here,

you should consider
the possibility

that the brain itself is in
two different quantum states.

And lastly, do you have
any little soup crackers?

The rate of spinning for
the central axis centrifuge

has to be four
revolutions per second.

It can't be four revolutions,
it's got to be seven.


Look at the board,
it's four.

Oh, my god, it's seven!


It's five and a half.

Son of a bitch,
it's five and a half.

B.R.B., that's short
for "be right back."

I'm saving so much time!

The two signals meet up
in the corpus callosum

and t equals zero.

And I know a boy who just
earned a slurp of soup.


Sheldon, I didn't expect that
you could work on both projects,

but I, I was wrong.

You know, I felt the same way
about the spork.

Uh, solids and liquids
handled by one utensil?

That'll never work.

Spoiler: Works.

I got to admit,

we didn't think you'd be able
to do two things at once.

Yeah, I felt the same way
about the platypus.

You know,
bird and mammal

in the same creature? No way.

And spoiler: Way.


Oh, thanks again for letting
me use your laptop last night.

No problem.

Was just doing my taxes.


Actually, if
i could...

If I could just
check one more...

Already cleared
the browser history.

You're a good woman.

What you working on?

Trying to catch up on office
e-mails before I go back.

Oh, that's right,
maternity leave's almost over.

Ah, you excited?

Yeah, I mean, I'll miss halley,

but it'll be nice
to get out of the house,

be intellectually

Go out to lunch instead of,
you know, be lunch.

That's great, good for you.

Yeah, I mean, with you and my
parents, she's gonna be fine.

Ah, of course
she is.

And that day care is great.

It is. I went to check it out,

and they are very cautious about
letting strange men with no kids

peek in the windows.

Plus, I, I think I'm setting
a good example for halley,

to show her that
women can be mothers

and still have
satisfying careers.

Sure, she won't know where i
went or if I'm ever coming back.

That'll just make the ten
minutes between when I get home

(voice breaking): And her
bedtime even more special.

Uh, other than burp you
or give you a bottle,

I don't know
what to do right now.

It's okay, I'm just being
emotional about this.

Can you not tell Howard?

Well, don't you think
it'd be healthier

if you told him what's
going on with you?

Don't you think
it'd be healthier

if you had your own apartment,
grown man?

Your secret is safe with me.

Hey, since when do you do
laundry on a Thursday?

Oh, I had an
accident at work,

I slipped and fell
on my soup sack.

You know, there was a time i
would say "what's a soup sack?"

But... I'm glad we're past that.


You know, there was a time
i would say "god bless you,"

and then you would say "if you
must invoke an imaginary deity,

how about Thor?"

And I would say,

"how do you know
i didn't mean Thor?"

And then you would say "touch?,"

and that there ends the tale

of why I no longer say
"god bless you."

Well, we have had some fun,
haven't we?

Oh, yeah.

So, Leonard tells me
you've had a busy day.

Hmm? Oh, I did.

It hasn't stopped.

I figured out a solution
for our navigation system

while I was pre-soaking lentils
out of my pants.


Are you getting sick?

Of course not.

I'm too busy to be sick.

Well, you're
pretty delicate.

Maybe you shouldn't be
pushing yourself so hard.

I'm fine.
All right.

Well, we'll just pretend
that you didn't catch a cold

watching frozen.

That didn't happen.

You also got a nosebleed
watching up.

Just do your laundry!

Stuart, you didn't
have to make dinner.

Yeah, well, I felt bad about
upsetting you this morning.

And to be honest, I'm not the
biggest fan of your meatloaf.

Hey, what's for dinner?


Oh, cool.

Stuart made it.

Oh, cool.

Hey, I was thinking

maybe we take halley
to the zoo this weekend,

get in a little
family time

before you go
back to work.

Sounds great.

Speaking of which,

for day care,
it'll be easy for me

to drop her off, unless
you want to do it.

Hmm, guess it should be me.

I can't do it;

they have a picture of me
on file now.

You okay?

Of course, why?

Well, I don't know,
you seem a little upset.

No, I'm fine.
You sure?

Why don't you
think she's fine?

She sounds fine,
she looks fine.

If I saw her on the street I'd
say, "damn, that girl's fine!"

Sheldon, you're sick,
go back to bed.

I am fine.

Here, eat your toast.

Torrent downloaded from RARBG


It's okay,
now I don't need butter.

Well, perhaps I am
a little under the weather.

It's nothing a little
cold medicine and tea can't fix.

You need sleep.

What I need is
to get to work.

Well, I don't want
your germs around me.

What? You hold my hand,
you kiss my mouth,

but you draw the line
at 102 fever?

What happened to our love?

Sheldon, are you okay?

What's going on?

How'd I get here?

I don't know, we came home
from work and we found you.

Home from work?

What time is it?

It's 9:00.


W-what happened
to 8:00 and 7:00

and all the other o'clocks?

Wait, you don't remember?

Well, I remember waking up
in the morning,

Amy rubbing vicks on my chest.

And her hands were like
two frozen chunks of tundra.

I took some cold medicine to...

I took cold medicine.

You did seem a little loopy

when you showed up at the lab.

At-- at the lab?!

Why am I naked
from the waist down?

I don't know
where your pants are,

but we did find your underwear
in a pot on the stove.

My pants are missing,
i don't remember anything.

Penny, this is your youth.
What do I do?

I don't know,

check your body for tattoos?

would you be a lamb...

She's kidding!

Wait, wait. Where's my bag?
My phone and my wallet

are in my bag.
It's right here.



Where's my notebook?
My notebook's gone. Oh, no.

Okay, it's just a notebook,
what's the big deal?

What's the big deal?

It's full of
classified information

about the air force project!

How could you lose that?

It's okay,
I'm sure we'll find it.

Look, it's got to be
around here somewhere.

Maybe it's wherever
your pants are.

Nope, pants in the microwave,
no notebook.


Ah, hello.

(Sighs) Look, something's
going on with Bernadette.

She say anything to you?

Well, nope,
not a word.

Come on, be honest.

Did you tell her
i tried her breast pump?

No, but I did mention it
to my therapist.

Well, I know she's mad
at me about something.

Well, what have you done
that would upset her?

Oh, gosh,
how much time do you have?


Well, why don't you just
start with the worst thing?

Hmm, let's see. Mm.

Okay, here we go: Six years ago,

I got a call that Bernie's
great-aunt, trixie, died.


(Whispering): And I forgot
to give her the message.

That's terrible.

The terrible part is,
ever since then,

I've been
sending Bernie

Christmas cards from trixie.



Let me finish-- and one card
had five dollars in it

I took from Bernie's purse.

The notebook isn't
in the bathroom.

I can't find it,

How can he not remember a day?

Well, people who are abducted
by aliens lose time.

I mean, maybe it happens
to the aliens, too.

(Door opens)

Well, it's not
across the hall.

That's it. I'm in breach
of my security clearance.

I'm going to prison.

And you know what happens
to people like me in prison.

I'll be forced to be
some large man's tutor.

You're not going to prison.

But, boy, it is funny
to think about.


You really can't remember

I'm trying.

Wait a minute.
Hey, let me see your phone.


Well, it's--
it's possible

it was tracking
everywhere you went.

Phones can do that?

Yeah, it depends
on the privacy settings.

Oh, tha-- that's so cool.

How do you--
how do you turn that thing off?


I know when you "go for a run,"
you stop for a donut.

I don't even run there, I drive.

Hang on, I can see
every place you went.

What does it say?

Uh, you were in the building,

you were
at the university,

then you were somewhere
on Colorado boulevard.


Wait, hang on.

Did you go to a cowboy bar?

I-- no!

That is preposterous.

(Country music playing)


Hey, how's it going?


Good. Love you.

Love you, too.
Love you more. (Chuckles)

Okay, you won.
Can I finish what I'm doing?

Sure, sorry.


Something on your mind?

No, no, nothing.

Okay, well,
maybe I'm just feeling like

something's bothering you.

Nope, all good.

Prove it, make love to me
right now on the kitchen floor.

No, what is wrong with you?

Aha, you are upset.

I don't know a lot about women,
but I know I upset them.

Howard, I'm sorry
if I'm being weird,

but it has nothing
to do with you.

It doesn't?


I didn't want
to tell you, but...

I'm having a really tough time
about going back to work.

Oh. Okay, well, I get that.

It was hard for me
when I went back.

It was?
Of course.

I missed you
and the baby

and being able to watch Ellen
every day.

I just don't know
what the right thing to do is.

If I go back to work,
I'm abandoning halley.

If I don't go,

I'm giving up
everything I worked for.

It's like
there's no right choice.

Look, I don't know what
the best decision is, either.

But whatever we choose,
if we're not happy,

we can undo it.

I guess.

And the best part is:
Halley won't remember a thing.


Babies are cute,
but they're dumb.

I mean,

i-i go like this,

she thinks I'm gone. Then
magically I'm back. I mean...

why are we saving for college?

I'm not crazy about
you calling our baby dumb.

Well, she gets it from me.

Speaking of which,

I have some news
about your aunt trixie.


? Radio blastin' all night ?

? truck bed's a carriage... ?

does this place
look familiar?

It's hard to say.

Hey, Sheldon's back!


It's getting clearer.

You gonna buy another round
for the house?

Uh, n-no, thank you.

We now know why mastercard
sent me a fraud alert.

Ask him.

Um, yes.

Howdy, partner.

Do you happen to recollect
if I left a notebook

in these here parts?

These here parts?

It's called fitting in.
By the way, good luck.

Here you go.

Thank goodness!

One top secret
quantum guidance system.

You understood
the math?

No, but Sheldon told me
all about it.

He told everybody.

That's just great.

Oh, don't worry,

he made us pinky swear
we'd keep it a secret.

I swear...

I swear...

...not to tell anyone...

...Not to tell anyone...

(Whispering): ...The top secret
military information

I'm about to tell you.

All (Whispering): The top secret
military information

I'm about to tell you.

We really need
to skedaddle.

Thank you.

See you.

Should probably erase this.

Thank you for
making me tea.

You're welcome.
How is it?

Yummy. And warm
on my back.

Do you need
anything else?

You know exactly
what I need.


? Soft kitty, warm kitty ?

? little ball of fur ?

? happy kitty,
sleepy kitty ?

? purr, purr, purr. ?

that's nice.

Now in German.

(Singing in German)


Now mandarin.

(Singing in mandarin)

Now navajo.