The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 3, Episode 25 - The Darlings Are Coming - full transcript
The musical Darling Family - father Briscoe, daughter Charlene and four sons - show up in Mayberry to collect Charlene's fiancé, 'Dud' Wash, a soldier who is arriving on the bus the next day. The family patriarch rents a single room and sneaks in the rest of the family and Andy is soon at the hotel trying to figure out what to do with them. The Darlings are a good family and aren't really troublemakers so Andy agrees to let them stay the night at the courthouse. The real problem however is that daughter Charlene has taken a real shine to Andy and goes after him with a vengeance. She hasn't seen Dud for a while and isn't sure what her feelings are about him. Dud's arrival however sets everything straight.
Starring Andy Griffith...
With Ronny Howard...
Also starring Don knotts.
Sure is boiling, pa.
This machine is half mad
with thirst.
How much it going to take, pa?
She's always good
for 11 hatfuls.
Howdy.
Howdy.
Hi.
Now, that's enough, charlene.
Back in the truck.
Oh, pa, can't I even look
at the pretty man?
Back in the truck.
She's promised.
Private first class
Dudley a. Walsh,
U.S. of a. Army,
honorably discharged.
Well, that's fine.
Uh, I don't want to sound...
Private first class is coming in
on the morning bus.
Oh, I see.
And you folks are in town
to meet him, are you?
News sure does travel fast,
don't it?
I didn't hear it anywhere.
I just...
Never mind.
It ain't that important.
It is to her.
The betrothal's been pledged
since they were 5.
Well, that's fine.
So don't go making
any fancies for her.
Well, that's the furthest thing
from my mind.
Your words say no,
but your eyes say yes.
Well, believe me, the thought
never entered my head.
Just see that it don't.
Take my word for it,
Mr. Uh...
Darling.
I beg pardon?
Briscoe darling.
Oh, oh. Andy Taylor.
Sheriff Andy Taylor.
More power to you.
Uh
Mr. Darling, as sheriff,
there's something
I'd like to say to you.
It's about parking your truck
here in front
of our memorial trough
and filling your radiator
out of it.
What did you have in mind?
Well, the fact is you're
breaking two city ordinances.
It's against the law to park
your truck here,
and you're dipping your hat
into the horse trough.
Charlene?
Keep them eyes to yourself.
Uh, well, anyway, Mr. Darling,
it's against the law to dip your
hat into the horse trough.
That's for horses only.
There ain't a horse in sight.
But if one comes along, I'll
give them the right of way.
Obliged to you for not giving me
an arrest.
Well, we believe in warning
folks first,
especially strangers.
Obliged.
Oh, uh, sheriff?
We're gonna need
a night's lodging.
Where might we bed down?
Well, Mayberry hotel.
Right around there
in the middle of the block.
Obliged.
See you boys.
Is this your place?
No, I'm John masters,
your reservations clerk.
Who I do see about getting
a place to bed down?
I can arrange an accommodation.
Are you alone?
Just me and my luggage.
A single room with a bath
is $2.50 a night,
single room without a bath
is $1.75 a night.
Just give me $1.75 worth.
Very well.
Sign right on this line, please.
Briscoe darling.
Very well, Mr. Darling.
I have a nice room for you
right up in front.
I'd rather have something
as far back as I can get.
Very well.
Room 27.
Thank you.
You down here all the time,
are you?
Except for around 8:00, I step
out for a bite to eat.
Anything you want?
Just a bed and a Bible.
You'll find them in your room.
Easy now.
Here she come.
Slack... slack off.
Slack off!
My head's getting smashed.
Well, here we be
all together again.
Not quite, pa.
Oether is still down there.
So he be.
Didn't even miss him.
Don't have much personality...
That boy.
We're going to have to do
better than that
if we're going to play
for charlene's wedding.
Oh, pa, I can't even remember
what dud looks like.
You love him with
your heart and soul.
That's all that matters.
Now let's try
"slimy river bottom,"
and this time, make it purty.
Oh, that'n makes me cry.
Hush now.
We got to hurry
before that clerkin' feller
gets back from his supper.
A one and a two.
A one and a two.
They're raising the roof
in there, Andy,
with at least five instruments.
Now, the law says one occupant
to a single room.
I know who they are.
I warned them earlier today
on a 907.
Dipping a hat
in the horse trough.
Right.
Well?
There's a mess of them
in there, all right.
Well...
I got suspicious right off
when that Mr. Darling asked me
was I on duty all the time?
That must have been when
he sneaked the others in,
while I was out eating supper.
Good thinking, John.
Yeah.
Howdy.
Who do you think you're kidding
with that jug playing?
That's mighty fine jugging,
Mr. Darling.
Thank you.
I can get banjo sounds,
guitar sounds,
whatever I want out of it.
Where is the rest of the family?
I mean, you're a mighty fine
jug player,
but I doubt there's a pair
of lips around
with that much versatility.
You don't believe I can get
banjo sounds out of this jug?
No.
A man is entitled
to his opinion.
Come on, John.
There's nobody here.
- But they must be.
- Come on.
Good night, Mr. Darling.
More power to you.
Andy, I know there's more
than one man in that room.
So do I.
We'll catch them.
Oh, this is so upsetting, Andy.
I'm breaking out in hives.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Don't knock on the door
for a couple minutes.
- But they're...
-just a couple minutes.
I think we overlooked something.
Right.
♪ Now, dooley
was a good ol' man ♪
♪ He lived below the mill
♪ dooley had two daughters
and a $40 still ♪
♪ One gal watched the boiler
♪ the other watched his bath
♪ and mama corked the bottles
♪ when old dooley
fetched them out ♪
♪ Dooley settin' up the holler ♪
♪ Dooley
tryin' to make a dollar ♪
Shh. Shh.
My!
You're as strong as a tree!
You're down, charlene.
How about if I shimmy up
and come back down again?
Charlene?
Yeah, pa?
Put that boy down.
I told you she was promised,
sheriff.
Now, look, Mr. Darling...
You can't keep your hands or
your eyes off'n her, can you?
I'm not touching her.
Well, see that you don't.
Keep an eye on her, boys,
till I get down there.
Did you like the white beans
you had for supper?
Mm-hmm.
Well, you didn't say anything.
Well, I ate four bowels.
If that ain't a tribute
to white beans,
I don't know what is.
Well...
Eating speaks louder than words.
You know your education was
worth every penny of it.
Andy?
Hmm?
Did you hear something?
It's the darlings.
Starlings, at this time of year?
You're full of beans.
No.
It's a family named darling.
Oh.
I guess I better go see
what they're up to.
Remember, you've just eaten.
Now, don't run
on a full stomach.
I won't.
What number did we commit now?
317.
Occupancy of private property
without permission of the owner.
I'm sorry to have to chase you.
Oh, that's all right.
Wouldn't want you to get in
trouble with the head mountie.
Charlene, stop that!
You're the future
Mrs. Private-first-class-to-be.
And you, stop tantalizing!
Hey!
Wait a minute, Mr. Darling.
I just got an idea
how we can
put you up for the night.
It's on me.
If it's charity,
we want no part of it.
Because we aim the hang on to
our position in the community.
It ain't charity.
Come on.
Are you sure you had enough,
hmm?
About to pop.
Thank you very much.
Charlene, let your old pa
have that heel.
Thank you, ma'am.
Well, you're a pretty
young one, aren't you?
How did you like
the white beans, Mr. Briscoe?
They was good.
Well, you didn't say anything.
He ate four bowels.
And eating speaks
louder than words.
You told him to say that,
didn't you?
That's a very famous saying.
Oh?
I stay in the house too much.
Well, good night, all.
Nice seeing you.
Good night, aunt bee.
- Thank you for the food.
- Good night.
I'll be home after a while.
Not many sheriffs has got
as nice an aunt as that.
She does very well.
Jebbin, it's 10:00 at night.
Oh, let him play.
Town don't officially close down
till 10:30.
Well, in that case, we'll
scrub one off for you.
Do you like tearing up
your old clothes for rags?
Oh, yeah. Mind if I play along
with you?
I didn't know you strang.
A little.
What key?
Just jump in where you can
and hang on.
A one and a two,
a one and a two.
Well, the bus should be in
in about five minutes.
You excited, charlene?
You gonna...
Now, where did that girl get to?
More than likely
she's got her head stuck
in some fancy dry goods.
You two boys go up thataway.
You two, check them stores.
Now, charlene, cut it out.
Come on, sheriff Andy.
Be still.
I just want to snuggle up
to you a little.
Charlene,
you're a promised person.
Dud Walsh? I ain't ever
promised him nothing.
It's all pa's idea.
Come on.
Charlene, I am old enough
to be your father.
You've sure been beautiful
preserved.
All I want to do is hold you
just once to my arms.
I couldn't do that.
I won't tell your aunt.
Charlene, you owe something
to that boy
that's been in the service
for three years.
I sent him a fruitcake.
- Huggy, huggy.
- No!
Charlene!
Oh, pa, I got him treed.
The bus is about ready
to dismount.
Dud's home.
I don't want dud.
I want him.
You just had to go
and egg her on, didn't you?
Turn on your fancy ways
and your winning smile.
I didn't do nothing.
If anything, I've been running
away from her.
Playing hard to get.
Oh, that gets women quicker
than anything.
For heaven's sakes,
Mr. Darling...
No more talk.
If you and charlene
want each other,
we'll just settle this thing
by natural law.
You and dud fight it out.
I'm not going to fight dud.
Natural law, tooth and claw.
I don't want to fight dud.
You owe it to the boy.
He's been servicing his country.
Now...
Now, now, look, Mr. Darling.
Boys, I'm not the least bit
interested in your sister.
Charlene, you got to explain it
to them.
Fine.
I'll explain it to dud.
There's dud.
Welcome the boy home.
It's the least you can do
before the fight starts.
Look, Mr. Darling.
Hush. Let them commune.
Welcome home, dud.
Honey... dud, I...
I brought you a present,
charlene.
A tiger eye ring, right out
of spokane, Washington.
What's that?
Oh, that's my money belt.
That's where I keep
all my valuables.
What's that?
The letters you wrote me.
You wear your letters
around your middle?
Uh-huh.
And... and your hair ribbon.
Oh, my.
And these.
What's them?
That's the remainders of that
mountain gladiola you gave me
the day I departed to fulfill
my country's needs.
Oh, dud!
You're the sweetest boy
whatever growed.
I'm sorry, sheriff.
It looks like they's gonna
get together.
Well, some's got it
and some ain't.
With Ronny Howard...
Also starring Don knotts.
Sure is boiling, pa.
This machine is half mad
with thirst.
How much it going to take, pa?
She's always good
for 11 hatfuls.
Howdy.
Howdy.
Hi.
Now, that's enough, charlene.
Back in the truck.
Oh, pa, can't I even look
at the pretty man?
Back in the truck.
She's promised.
Private first class
Dudley a. Walsh,
U.S. of a. Army,
honorably discharged.
Well, that's fine.
Uh, I don't want to sound...
Private first class is coming in
on the morning bus.
Oh, I see.
And you folks are in town
to meet him, are you?
News sure does travel fast,
don't it?
I didn't hear it anywhere.
I just...
Never mind.
It ain't that important.
It is to her.
The betrothal's been pledged
since they were 5.
Well, that's fine.
So don't go making
any fancies for her.
Well, that's the furthest thing
from my mind.
Your words say no,
but your eyes say yes.
Well, believe me, the thought
never entered my head.
Just see that it don't.
Take my word for it,
Mr. Uh...
Darling.
I beg pardon?
Briscoe darling.
Oh, oh. Andy Taylor.
Sheriff Andy Taylor.
More power to you.
Uh
Mr. Darling, as sheriff,
there's something
I'd like to say to you.
It's about parking your truck
here in front
of our memorial trough
and filling your radiator
out of it.
What did you have in mind?
Well, the fact is you're
breaking two city ordinances.
It's against the law to park
your truck here,
and you're dipping your hat
into the horse trough.
Charlene?
Keep them eyes to yourself.
Uh, well, anyway, Mr. Darling,
it's against the law to dip your
hat into the horse trough.
That's for horses only.
There ain't a horse in sight.
But if one comes along, I'll
give them the right of way.
Obliged to you for not giving me
an arrest.
Well, we believe in warning
folks first,
especially strangers.
Obliged.
Oh, uh, sheriff?
We're gonna need
a night's lodging.
Where might we bed down?
Well, Mayberry hotel.
Right around there
in the middle of the block.
Obliged.
See you boys.
Is this your place?
No, I'm John masters,
your reservations clerk.
Who I do see about getting
a place to bed down?
I can arrange an accommodation.
Are you alone?
Just me and my luggage.
A single room with a bath
is $2.50 a night,
single room without a bath
is $1.75 a night.
Just give me $1.75 worth.
Very well.
Sign right on this line, please.
Briscoe darling.
Very well, Mr. Darling.
I have a nice room for you
right up in front.
I'd rather have something
as far back as I can get.
Very well.
Room 27.
Thank you.
You down here all the time,
are you?
Except for around 8:00, I step
out for a bite to eat.
Anything you want?
Just a bed and a Bible.
You'll find them in your room.
Easy now.
Here she come.
Slack... slack off.
Slack off!
My head's getting smashed.
Well, here we be
all together again.
Not quite, pa.
Oether is still down there.
So he be.
Didn't even miss him.
Don't have much personality...
That boy.
We're going to have to do
better than that
if we're going to play
for charlene's wedding.
Oh, pa, I can't even remember
what dud looks like.
You love him with
your heart and soul.
That's all that matters.
Now let's try
"slimy river bottom,"
and this time, make it purty.
Oh, that'n makes me cry.
Hush now.
We got to hurry
before that clerkin' feller
gets back from his supper.
A one and a two.
A one and a two.
They're raising the roof
in there, Andy,
with at least five instruments.
Now, the law says one occupant
to a single room.
I know who they are.
I warned them earlier today
on a 907.
Dipping a hat
in the horse trough.
Right.
Well?
There's a mess of them
in there, all right.
Well...
I got suspicious right off
when that Mr. Darling asked me
was I on duty all the time?
That must have been when
he sneaked the others in,
while I was out eating supper.
Good thinking, John.
Yeah.
Howdy.
Who do you think you're kidding
with that jug playing?
That's mighty fine jugging,
Mr. Darling.
Thank you.
I can get banjo sounds,
guitar sounds,
whatever I want out of it.
Where is the rest of the family?
I mean, you're a mighty fine
jug player,
but I doubt there's a pair
of lips around
with that much versatility.
You don't believe I can get
banjo sounds out of this jug?
No.
A man is entitled
to his opinion.
Come on, John.
There's nobody here.
- But they must be.
- Come on.
Good night, Mr. Darling.
More power to you.
Andy, I know there's more
than one man in that room.
So do I.
We'll catch them.
Oh, this is so upsetting, Andy.
I'm breaking out in hives.
Oh, don't worry about it.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Don't knock on the door
for a couple minutes.
- But they're...
-just a couple minutes.
I think we overlooked something.
Right.
♪ Now, dooley
was a good ol' man ♪
♪ He lived below the mill
♪ dooley had two daughters
and a $40 still ♪
♪ One gal watched the boiler
♪ the other watched his bath
♪ and mama corked the bottles
♪ when old dooley
fetched them out ♪
♪ Dooley settin' up the holler ♪
♪ Dooley
tryin' to make a dollar ♪
Shh. Shh.
My!
You're as strong as a tree!
You're down, charlene.
How about if I shimmy up
and come back down again?
Charlene?
Yeah, pa?
Put that boy down.
I told you she was promised,
sheriff.
Now, look, Mr. Darling...
You can't keep your hands or
your eyes off'n her, can you?
I'm not touching her.
Well, see that you don't.
Keep an eye on her, boys,
till I get down there.
Did you like the white beans
you had for supper?
Mm-hmm.
Well, you didn't say anything.
Well, I ate four bowels.
If that ain't a tribute
to white beans,
I don't know what is.
Well...
Eating speaks louder than words.
You know your education was
worth every penny of it.
Andy?
Hmm?
Did you hear something?
It's the darlings.
Starlings, at this time of year?
You're full of beans.
No.
It's a family named darling.
Oh.
I guess I better go see
what they're up to.
Remember, you've just eaten.
Now, don't run
on a full stomach.
I won't.
What number did we commit now?
317.
Occupancy of private property
without permission of the owner.
I'm sorry to have to chase you.
Oh, that's all right.
Wouldn't want you to get in
trouble with the head mountie.
Charlene, stop that!
You're the future
Mrs. Private-first-class-to-be.
And you, stop tantalizing!
Hey!
Wait a minute, Mr. Darling.
I just got an idea
how we can
put you up for the night.
It's on me.
If it's charity,
we want no part of it.
Because we aim the hang on to
our position in the community.
It ain't charity.
Come on.
Are you sure you had enough,
hmm?
About to pop.
Thank you very much.
Charlene, let your old pa
have that heel.
Thank you, ma'am.
Well, you're a pretty
young one, aren't you?
How did you like
the white beans, Mr. Briscoe?
They was good.
Well, you didn't say anything.
He ate four bowels.
And eating speaks
louder than words.
You told him to say that,
didn't you?
That's a very famous saying.
Oh?
I stay in the house too much.
Well, good night, all.
Nice seeing you.
Good night, aunt bee.
- Thank you for the food.
- Good night.
I'll be home after a while.
Not many sheriffs has got
as nice an aunt as that.
She does very well.
Jebbin, it's 10:00 at night.
Oh, let him play.
Town don't officially close down
till 10:30.
Well, in that case, we'll
scrub one off for you.
Do you like tearing up
your old clothes for rags?
Oh, yeah. Mind if I play along
with you?
I didn't know you strang.
A little.
What key?
Just jump in where you can
and hang on.
A one and a two,
a one and a two.
Well, the bus should be in
in about five minutes.
You excited, charlene?
You gonna...
Now, where did that girl get to?
More than likely
she's got her head stuck
in some fancy dry goods.
You two boys go up thataway.
You two, check them stores.
Now, charlene, cut it out.
Come on, sheriff Andy.
Be still.
I just want to snuggle up
to you a little.
Charlene,
you're a promised person.
Dud Walsh? I ain't ever
promised him nothing.
It's all pa's idea.
Come on.
Charlene, I am old enough
to be your father.
You've sure been beautiful
preserved.
All I want to do is hold you
just once to my arms.
I couldn't do that.
I won't tell your aunt.
Charlene, you owe something
to that boy
that's been in the service
for three years.
I sent him a fruitcake.
- Huggy, huggy.
- No!
Charlene!
Oh, pa, I got him treed.
The bus is about ready
to dismount.
Dud's home.
I don't want dud.
I want him.
You just had to go
and egg her on, didn't you?
Turn on your fancy ways
and your winning smile.
I didn't do nothing.
If anything, I've been running
away from her.
Playing hard to get.
Oh, that gets women quicker
than anything.
For heaven's sakes,
Mr. Darling...
No more talk.
If you and charlene
want each other,
we'll just settle this thing
by natural law.
You and dud fight it out.
I'm not going to fight dud.
Natural law, tooth and claw.
I don't want to fight dud.
You owe it to the boy.
He's been servicing his country.
Now...
Now, now, look, Mr. Darling.
Boys, I'm not the least bit
interested in your sister.
Charlene, you got to explain it
to them.
Fine.
I'll explain it to dud.
There's dud.
Welcome the boy home.
It's the least you can do
before the fight starts.
Look, Mr. Darling.
Hush. Let them commune.
Welcome home, dud.
Honey... dud, I...
I brought you a present,
charlene.
A tiger eye ring, right out
of spokane, Washington.
What's that?
Oh, that's my money belt.
That's where I keep
all my valuables.
What's that?
The letters you wrote me.
You wear your letters
around your middle?
Uh-huh.
And... and your hair ribbon.
Oh, my.
And these.
What's them?
That's the remainders of that
mountain gladiola you gave me
the day I departed to fulfill
my country's needs.
Oh, dud!
You're the sweetest boy
whatever growed.
I'm sorry, sheriff.
It looks like they's gonna
get together.
Well, some's got it
and some ain't.