Tell Me Lies (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Castle on a Cloud - full transcript
The group goes to Evan's lake house to celebrate his 21st birthday.
You know I like you.
You are very drunk.
- Are you attracted to me?
- Yeah. Yeah.
EVAN: "Remember: Trust no one
unless they have a moose."
- Who sent you that?
- It's from my old foster sister.
I didn't know you were a foster kid.
Did you see Stephen over break?
No.
I think I'm done with him.
I am so relieved.
I am so sorry about Christmas.
LUCY: It's a flower
that you drew for Macy.
Did you go to that party with her?
She said that she could
drive me back to campus.
This other car came
around the corner really fast.
It was Drew.
Drew ran you guys off the road
and then just fucking left?
- Yeah.
- He can't get away with that.
I know. I know. I know.
You fucked my best friend.
This is it for us.
Pippa told me she saw you
and Diana together.
I am done looking like a fucking idiot.
You've been lying to Lucy all year.
You've been lying to her for months.
PIPPA: What?
About Macy.
Hiding the fact that
your boyfriend's brother
may have been the reason she died.
That would really hurt her.
LUCY: Stop. [Laughing]
Stephen.
[Stephen laughs]
STEPHEN: He's asleep.
Stop. [Laughing]
Shh. He's gonna hear us.
STEPHEN:
He's the heaviest sleeper I know.
Literally. Don't worry.
[alarm beeping]
LUCY: Oh shit.
Hey, good morning.
EVAN: Morning.
I'm gonna run some errands
ahead of you guys.
So just try and leave before noon
so you beat traffic.
STEPHEN:
Okay.
LUCY:
Hey, Evan.
Uh, thanks for inviting us all
to the lake.
It'll be really nice to get away.
Yeah, for sure. It's tradition.
See you guys.
LUCY:
See you.
[sighs]
♪ Peter Bjorn and John's
Young Folks playing ♪
[singer whistling]
♪
♪
♪
♪ If I told you things I did before ♪
♪ Told you how I used to be ♪
♪ Would you go along
with someone like me? ♪
♪ If you knew my story word for word ♪
CLERK:
Ooh. Whose birthday is it?
- A friend of mine.
- It's nice of you.
Mind if I see some ID?
Oh, it's yours.
The big 2-1. Happy birthday.
Now why on earth are you buying
your own cake?
[chuckles]
[mailbox opening]
WOMAN: Excuse me?
Can I help you?
Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks.
Does the family know you're here?
The family?
The family who owns this house.
I'm in contact with them,
and they never mentioned
any guests coming.
Uh, I don't think you know
who owns this place
because my family owns this place.
You can call Greg if you like.
WOMAN:
[chuckles] Excuse me?
Greg, the owner of the house
you must be renting.
Yeah. He goes way back
with my family.
Back when he bought
the house from my dad.
See, we used to own both.
Look, I-I'll give Greg a call.
You can't be too careful. I get it.
No, no. That's okay.
Okay.
♪ We can stick around
and see this night through ♪
♪ And we don't care
about the young folks ♪
♪ Talkin' 'bout the young style ♪
♪ And we don't care
about the old folks ♪
♪ Talkin' 'bout the old style too ♪
♪ And we don't care
about their own faults ♪
♪ Talkin' 'bout our own style ♪
♪ All we care about is talking ♪
BREE:
Oh my god.
PIPPA:
No way.
This is so pretty.
[Pippa laughing]
This place is crazy.
I don't know why he's here.
It just feels fucked up being in a house
with him all weekend.
Yeah, I know. It was Wrigley's idea.
It's okay. It's not gonna ruin
our weekend. We're good.
EVAN:
Okay, listen up.
Just a few rules
so my parents don't kill me.
Floors just got redone
so please, everyone,
take your shoes off.
Leave 'em at the front.
Uh, no glass by the pool.
- Uh, make sure...
- I shotgun the master!
Dude, I'm obviously in the master.
No, rules of shotgun must be followed.
It's my house,
and I'm always in the master.
Yes, because you've
always had a girlfriend,
but now you don't.
It's his birthday, Wrigley.
What are you doing?
What?
- Oh great.
- Hey, big boy.
PIPPA:
What are you doing?
EVAN:
Wrigley, what are you doing?
[Wrigley laughing]
- EVAN: Fuck.
- Oh!
[group yelling]
WRIGLEY: Oh my goodness.
This is incredible.
What is this?
Is this Egyptian cotton?
EVAN:
Dude, what the fuck?
- Wrigley!
- Alright.
This is the softest thing
my gooch has ever touched.
- Alright. Fine, fine, fine.
- Jesus!
It's all yours. Please, have it.
Oh, I've got, I've got more surprises.
Fireworks and cocaine.
[Evan chuckles awkwardly]
Oh shoot. You said no shoes
in the house, huh?
That's my bad.
♪
[water splashing]
- Ah!
- Is that Cosette?
It's Cosette!
- WRIGLEY: This is what we're thinking.
- My girl.
We're gonna soak her,
and then we're gonna freeze her.
- What is this?
- This is Cosette.
We found her in a thrift store
in town, freshman year.
And we were like,
we can totally destroy her.
STEPHEN:
Yes.
It turns out it's really hard
to crack a bowling ball.
We have been trying for three years,
every time we come up here.
But this year, Cosette will crack!
[phone beeping]
STEPHEN:
Hey, hey!
Pretty, right?
LUCY: Mm-hmm.
♪
- Hey.
- Hello.
PIPPA:
Hello.
Gorgeous.
I'm not photogenic.
Sure you are.
Pippa.
PIPPA: What?
BREE:
Look at me.
[camera shutter clicks]
BREE:
Cuties.
Okay. You have to send those to me
so I can make a Facebook album.
BREE:
Of course.
Hey, guys.
Get in the photo for Facebook.
Okay.
Come on. This is my good side.
Okay.
BREE: Ready?
Three, two, one!
[camera shutter clicking]
Got it.
Happy birthday.
I'm glad you were born.
Thanks.
[Bree chuckles]
[splashing]
[Lucy screams]
Ugh, Drew.
You got water in everyone's drinks.
Can you not?
Jesus.
- I'm rethinking this.
- Just let me focus please.
I don't think it's gonna work, Wrigley.
No. Water expands. This is science.
Well, that's only
if it absorbs the water,
and it won't
because it's a bowling ball.
WRIGLEY: I'm sorry, I took,
I took intro to chemistry twice.
What did you guys do?
WRIGLEY: What are you majoring in?
- It used to be physics.
- With Cosette?
- Used to be physics?
- Uh, well,
Cosette has been relegated
to an icy watery grave.
[all screaming]
No, no, no. It can be saved.
It can be saved!
Stop.
- LUCY: Paper towels, quick.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yes, ma'am.
Here you go.
- Can I? Thank you.
- Yeah.
WRIGLEY:
[snickers] Sorry.
Hey, um, Evan.
Where's the linen closet?
I want to get some fresh pillowcases.
Down the hall to the left
by the screening room.
I feel very spoiled here, Evan.
Our room has a massage chair in it.
- Oh, you got the room in the back.
- Mm-hmm.
That's good.
I was hoping you'd get that one.
It's the most soundproof.
[Wrigley laughs]
- Ha ha ha.
- It's a joke.
- It's a good one.
- Oh, no, no.
Oh, come on.
If I can pose, you can pose.
You're a lot prettier
than I am so...
- [camera shutter clicking]
- Bree, come try these.
Wow. Thank you.
LUCY: They're very good. Very strong.
Ooh, really good.
I want a picture with you.
- Really?
- Yeah. Evan?
- Yo.
- Can you take a picture?
Uh, yeah.
- Smile. It's for Mom.
- Okay.
EVAN:
One, two, three.
[camera shutter clicks]
Aw.
WRIGLEY: Alright, thank you.
EVAN:
Yeah, sure.
What are you doing?
[Evan laughs]
It'll totally fall off the ceiling.
I promise.
Uh-huh. [Laughing]
I'm kind of obsessed with these things.
- What? Slimy hands?
- Yeah.
When I was a kid, they were like
the one toy I could buy myself,
and they always had them
in those little vending machines.
But it seems like you like them
even more than I did.
No, I hate them actually.
Then why do you have this
pathologically large collection of them?
Ah, it's stupid. It's...
Oh my god. Did anyone
get you a birthday cake?
Yeah. I got one. It's in the fridge.
You got your own birthday cake?
Why do people keep acting
like that's weird?
You're funny.
You have even lower expectations
of our friends than I do.
[both laughing]
You, uh, you played football?
EVAN:
Oh yeah. For, like, a season.
Then I quit.
Really? Why?
Because that's what I do.
I quit things,
according to my dad.
I'm joking. [Chuckles]
I just mean
I haven't quite figured out
what I want to do yet.
And, uh, I think sometimes
that worries my parents.
You've only been old enough
to drink for, like, 12 hours,
so I think you've got some time.
[Evan chuckles]
Yeah. I guess no one ever
framed it like that before.
That's true.
[loud clattering]
WRIGLEY:
Sorry! Very sorry. My bad.
My bad.
BREE: Shit.
I wish Wrigley would
tone it down a little.
It's just, for some reason,
being here, he's so much,
uh, louder than he is on campus.
Yeah 'cause campus is a lot bigger.
Guys.
This house is palatial.
BREE AND PIPPA:
I know.
What do Evan's parents do
for a living?
I'm betting they're finance people.
It's just so crazy that
Evan's still so nice.
LUCY:
Yeah. It's crazy.
Like, if I had that much money,
I'd be a raging cunt
every day, intentionally.
He's great.
Aww.
I just wanna, like,
jump on him, you know.
But he's, like,
giving me friend vibes,
like, I don't know,
like maybe I imagined anything else.
PIPPA:
No, no, no, no, no. He likes you.
He just forgot how to do this
because he's had a girlfriend
for the past two years.
Bree, you have to take a picture of us
in this insane bathroom.
Okay. Get in the tub.
BREE AND PIPPA:
In the tub?
Yeah, get in the tub.
Okay.
PIPPA: How about the shoes?
LUCY: Okay.
BREE:
Yes.
Oh yes.
[camera clicking]
Magnifique.
- Oh yes.
- Oh my god. I can see your underwear.
- Sorry.
- You're flashing your puswa.
BREE AND PIPPA:
What?
- LUCY: What is that?
- I don't know.
I'm taking French 101.
I feel like pussy is puswa in French.
[all laughing]
STEPHEN: Nice. Wow.
LUCY: Gotta savor this.
Yeah, exactly.
ALL: Cheers.
LUCY: Here you go
- Oh, thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, guys.
Cheers.
Mm.
- Puswa.
- Mm-hmm.
Who have you been texting?
Tallyho!
[glass shattering]
WRIGLEY: Oh shit!
LUCY: Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Wrigley, what the fuck?
Wrigley!
He's such a fucking idiot.
I'll help you clean.
EVAN: Fuck.
PIPPA:
Can we help, Evan?
EVAN:
No, it's, it's okay.
Wrigley! Wrigley, what are you...
Oh my god.
PIPPA: Stop.
Oh.
[Wrigley yelling]
- LUCY: Jesus.
- Die, you whore!
- Cosette is uncracked!
- Wrigley!
Wrigley.
You know you're not
at a frat party, right?
This always happens
when Wrigley does Coke.
Do you want me to talk to him?
EVAN:
It's fine.
Could you get
the chairs for me. Just...
WRIGLEY:
I'm so sorry, dude. I...
I thought
it was gonna hit the...
- It's fine. It's fine.
- The ground. You know?
If it was gonna hit the table,
I wouldn't have thrown it obviously.
- It's fine.
- Yeah. It's not.
Tell your parents I'm an idiot
and I'm gonna buy another table.
I'm gonna get some water.
- Ah.
- Hey. [Laughing]
That's a really cool penis.
Evan never said anything
about, you know,
nudity in the house rule.
Yeah.
I know you love your body
'cause you spend so much time on it,
but one day those massive pecks
are gonna turn into Bob bitch tits.
I'd rather not look at them right now.
♪
♪
♪
Hey, birthday boy.
Hey.
This must be your
best birthday yet. Huh?
Yeah. Just beat.
Yeah. I'm sorry.
I'm sure everyone will
tone down tomorrow.
- Hopefully.
- Hmm.
Well, you know,
once Wrigley gets into the coke,
it's usually downhill from there.
Yeah.
- Can I grab...
- Yeah.
Look.
Glittery eyes.
Pippa gave them to me.
I think you owe it to the glitter
to have a good night.
Are you not getting enough attention?
♪
I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to cheer you up.
I don't need you to, thanks.
[people chattering]
Okay. I put my clothes on.
Now, can we be best friends again
and do some cocaine?
Come on.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
BREE:
Okay. Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
- What?
Call me crazy.
I feel like Cosette is like
a sloppy metaphor
for the female college experience.
What do you mean?
Well...
[women gigging]
She's pink.
Mm-hmm.
And they're trying
really fucking hard to destroy her.
Oh god.
[Bree laughing]
Drew's been doing better.
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.
He really is.
You know,
it was weird growing up.
He was never a sad kid. Ever.
So,
seeing him like that
really freaked me out.
Yeah. Of course.
It's been really fucking hard for me.
You know?
You've been a really good friend.
Thank you, man.
- Yeah.
- [sighs] Jesus. I'm being cheesy.
No.
[women laughing]
So you and Lucy are like
the real thing now, huh?
Yeah. [Laughing]
That's great, man.
I'm happy for you.
Leave the Diana drama behind. Jesus.
Let's not talk about Diana.
[women laughing]
- Um, that's...
- Hi there.
Hi.
BREE:
Um...
[sighs]
- Hi.
- Hey.
WRIGLEY:
Look who decided to have fun.
Hey. You're not still mad
at me, are you?
Nope.
PIPPA: Hey, Evan.
Evan, are there, like, bears here?
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
There are actually.
PIPPA:
[gasps] Scary.
Mooses too.
Mooses, moose?
What's the plural for moose?
Meese.
[Evan laughing]
You would know that.
You... that postcard
your sister sent you.
Um, what? [Laughing]
Bree doesn't have a sister.
EVAN:
Oh shit.
I'm, I'm really sorry.
No, that's, that's fine.
Yeah, my, my old foster sister,
she sent me
a postcard last semester.
It's, it's nothing.
- It's stupid.
- You were in foster care?
Yeah, but it's not a big deal.
It's just you never mentioned it.
Oh, that's because
it was just never brought up.
It's not like it's a secret.
Bree.
Do we have to do this right now?
In a hot tub.
I'm, I'm really sorry.
I thought you told them already.
BREE:
No, it's fine.
I'm tired actually.
I'm gonna go to bed.
♪
Yeah. I think I'm gonna call it
a night too actually.
Do you wanna go upstairs?
Yeah.
WRIGLEY:
Good night, Drew!
Wait.
You alright?
No, not really. Are you okay?
I'm watching Drew
just go on with his life
like nothing happened.
It's not just what he did to Macy.
I mean, he could have killed you.
You can't focus on him.
He's gonna drive you insane.
Isn't it driving you insane?
Macy's dead and he just gets
to have fun
and try to fuck up a bowling ball?
STEPHEN: I know.
I think we should tell
Macy's parents about Drew.
I really do.
He ran you guys off the road.
I can't stop thinking about it.
I can't stop thinking about her.
I think about her all the time.
- All the time.
- Okay.
And, and we should just tell them,
and then they can decide
what to do with it.
But I can't know this information
and not say anything.
- It's fucking with my head.
- Okay.
And it's not fair for them
to live their lives
thinking that their daughter
was this reckless drunk
when it's not true.
- It's not...
- Okay, I get it.
- Macy wasn't like that.
- I know. I know. I know.
I just feel so guilty hiding this.
If we tell Macy's parents,
it's just more attention.
They'll talk to the police.
It won't just be
an accident anymore.
People will start asking questions
about that night.
And I was there, Lucy,
that could ruin my life.
- I know. I know you were there.
- It can fuck everything up.
But you did not do anything wrong.
You were scared.
People won't see it that way.
I just,
I would keep him away from Bree.
- You noticed that, right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- I thought I saw them flirting.
- Yeah.
Wrigley's really trying
to make it happen.
He wants Drew to get laid.
Fuck Wrigley.
He should be focusing on his own shit.
- Yeah.
- He hasn't even realized
Pippa's been texting someone all weekend.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I keep bringing this up
and I'm, I'm...
I know this is
so, so much worse for you.
- I know that.
- It's easier that you're here.
You care about me, right?
You know I do.
♪
[water sloshing]
♪
[coffee trickling]
Hey.
Morning.
[water running]
Uh, look, um,
I feel like shit about last night.
I really wasn't trying
to embarrass you.
I wasn't embarrassed.
Do you think it's embarrassing?
What? No. No, no, no, no.
That's, that's not what I'm saying at all.
I, I could just tell
that you were, you know,
obviously upset.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I, I wasn't embarrassed.
I just, I like being able
to tell people things
on my own terms, you know.
And now they think I was hiding it
and that's not what it was.
I just,
I don't go around
telling people my business
if they don't ask
'cause everyone's so wrapped up
in their own shit anyway,
that if they want to know more,
they'll make that clear.
Okay.
But, you know, I honestly think
nobody would care.
You not saying anything
kind of makes it
a bigger deal than it is, you know.
You don't understand
what I'm trying to say.
I'm trying to though.
WRIGLEY: Ooh.
Hi.
PIPPA: Hi.
BREE: Good morning.
WRIGLEY: Good morning.
Good morning.
We still doing canoe Olympics today?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
What is that?
Two miles to the island,
pee on the rock, two miles back.
Canoers must drink
one beer per mile each
and one beer on the island.
Oh, the rock looks like boobs.
PIPPA:
That sounds so fun.
Think I'm gonna stay at the house.
Hey, uh, Wrigley,
can you not leave your brother
for us to babysit?
Okay. What's the...
What is your problem?
He's harassing Bree
and you're, like, encouraging it.
She's not interested at all. Okay.
He blew it.
Especially after Welcome Week.
What part of, what part of Welcome Week
are you referring to?
When he ghosted her.
It sucked.
Hey.
LUCY: Thank you.
You're gonna come with us, right?
Don't be a pussy.
WRIGLEY: I don't know what's going on
with her, but Lucy's hating on Drew,
and I don't want him
to start spiraling again.
- What do you mean?
- Oh, come on.
I'm sure you've noticed.
No, I actually haven't. [Laughing]
I don't know what reality
you're living in, dude,
but your girlfriend's texting someone else
right in front of your face.
And you're worried about Lucy.
Sorry, what?
By the way, dude,
we invited Bree here for Evan,
and Drew's hanging
all over her, like really.
No, Evan,
Evan's not interested in Bree.
What does it matter
if Drew's talking to her?
Oh my god. It's his birthday.
You should really talk to him.
I think he's getting annoyed.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
STEPHEN:
Alright, boys.
Drew, you're in the canoe with me.
- Let's ride.
- This beach? Ah.
Wrigley. Geez...
WRIGLEY: Evan, get the cooler!
Evan, get the cooler!
♪ Upbeat music ♪
- Paddle, paddle, paddle.
- Come on, Drew!
WRIGLEY:
Paddle, paddle!
♪ But you can kiss this goodbye ♪
♪ You get what you deserve ♪
Come on, Drew.
♪ So, baby, close your eyes ♪
♪ I'll kick you to the curb ♪
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
LUCY:
Wow. That is strong.
Hey, um, did you talk
to Bree yet about last night?
No, I haven't. Have you?
No, I don't know if she wants us
to talk to her about it...
Hey!
- BREE: Hey.
- Hi.
PIPPA:
It is so beautiful out here.
LUCY: So beautiful.
PIPPA: Do you want?
This is bullshit.
You guys are so uncomfortable.
LUCY AND PIPPA:
What?
No, we're not.
Okay. [Sighs]
I had a single mom
who was really young,
had a lot of issues.
So she tried to take care of me,
but she couldn't.
So then I went to go live
with my grandma, but she died.
So I went back with my mom,
but that was a mess.
So I wound up in a foster family
and I've been in three different homes.
Two of them were great.
One of them wasn't.
And now I'm an adult.
Bree, you could have told us.
We love you.
BREE: Yeah, but,
when did you guys ever ask
about my family?
We talked about
your family a little bit.
Like, your mom does retail.
Yeah, she does do retail.
As far as I know.
I'm sorry.
I don't even know what I'm saying.
We're assholes
and, and we should have
asked about you.
That's crazy.
Yeah. No, like, we're the worst.
You're not.
You guys are just busy
thinking about other things.
Change the subject.
Okay. Um... go.
It seems like Drew's been
following you around all weekend.
But if I had to choose,
I prefer you with Evan.
Maybe I should play matchmaker.
I can't believe how far ahead
your brother is.
He's a beast!
Hey, is, is Lucy mad
at me about something?
Lucy?
Um, no, she hasn't said anything. Why?
Are you worried
Pippa told her or something,
'cause she definitely didn't.
Lucy doesn't know anything.
Wait, what?
Oh, I'm just saying.
Lucy doesn't know about the accident.
Pippa didn't tell her.
But Pi-Pippa doesn't know
about the accident.
Does she?
Stephen, what the fuck, dude?
- Calm down. Calm down.
- What the fuck?
Look forward,
look forward, look forward.
You're gonna capsize us. Stop.
It's fine.
Completely fine.
Fuck. Sorry, dude.
I, I really thought he told you.
Told me what?
He told Pippa!
Like, ages ago. I don't even think
they were officially together.
- Are you serious?
- Don't worry.
She's not gonna tell anyone.
But if I were you,
I wouldn't trust him
with everything anymore, you know.
DREW:
Yeah.
And what if he breaks up with her?
WRIGLEY: Do it for Cosette!
EVAN: I'm trying!
Hey.
So what's your deal with Bree?
What do you mean?
We're friends.
So you don't see her as anything else?
Nah, I mean, I, I see her,
she's gorgeous, but...
- Okay.
- You know, we're just friends.
'Cause Stephen told me
that there might be something
between you and her,
and I see Drew making moves.
I feel like it might be good for him.
Stephen thinks there's something
with me and Bree?
Yeah, but the fuck does he know?
You know?
Well, did she say anything?
I don't know the details.
Are you gonna shotgun her?
What? [Laughing]
No. What are you talking about?
She's our, she's our friend, Wrigley.
I'm not gonna shotgun her.
Are you serious?
I don't want Drew to mess
anything up if you're into her.
But if you're not,
then I wanna let him know
that he has the green light.
Oh, so you want me
to call dibs on her
just in case I might be interested later?
Unless you're okay
with Drew making a move.
No, you know, I just don't
want things to get messy.
Well, yeah.
I guess tell him not to then.
WRIGLEY: Oh, so,
so you are calling shotgun?
Yeah. Whatever, dude.
Shotgun, I guess.
WRIGLEY: Alright, cool.
That's all I need to needed to know.
♪ Penicillin Baby's Working Man playing ♪
Wrigley, they're here! Hurry up!
♪
[trickling]
[Stephen laughs]
Wrigley can't pee on command!
- Oh my god, look out!
- No, no, no! No!
STEPHEN:
Go! Go! Go!
EVAN:
Wrigley!
Hurry up!
Come on. Let's beat these fuckers.
Let's go, baby!
♪ Always on the clock till I die ♪
♪ Then I'm dead ♪
♪ I'm always on the clock ♪
♪ I'm always on the clock ♪
♪ Always on the clock ♪
♪ Till I die ♪
Fuck!
WRIGLEY:
Eat my ass, you fucking losers!
Yes! [Laughing]
I am the king of the sea!
I am the king of the sea!
Oh, hey.
Evan has officially
called shotgun on Bree.
Let it be known. Let it be known.
Nobody needed to shotgun her.
She's not a seat in the car.
- Oh what? Come on.
- Yeah. That's what I said.
It's just a phrase.
- I'm just fucking around.
- Yeah.
♪ Hip-hop music playing ♪
PIPPA:
Four!
- Whores!
- Whores!
[women laughing]
BREE:
Yelling at the whores.
STEPHEN: Okay. Me.
LUCY: Oh you.
STEPHEN:
Give me a...
Fuck yeah! A jack.
Ooh.
STEPHEN: New rule.
Okay. Everyone has
to pull out their phones
and gotta pass it
to the person to your left,
and then they have to read
your last text message
- or you have to finish a drink.
- Ooh.
PIPPA:
Okay. Wait, what? No.
Fuck, no, fuck that.
I'm not doing that.
Oh, what's wrong?
What's wrong with your texts?
Are they that bad?
Pippa, come on.
Let me just read your texts.
No, I, I finished my drink,
so I don't have to.
Alright, um, my turn.
Five.
Never have I ever.
Never have I ever cheated
on someone before.
What?
You've cheated on people?
[Stephen laughing]
[all laughing]
On everyone.
Except for you probably.
I don't know.
I've never cheated on you.
Why, I'm, like, special or something?
Yeah.
LUCY:
Okay, it's my turn.
Jack, rule master.
Every time Bree drinks,
drum roll please.
[boys drumming]
She has to kiss Evan.
- Oh.
- Oh.
[Bree chuckles]
STEPHEN: Oh no, a thumb master.
LUCY: Oh Bree. You have to.
STEPHEN:
You have to.
Rules are rules.
- LUCY: Oh.
- Aw.
STEPHEN:
Ow! Mm-hmm.
So cute.
[gasps] Four!
Whores.
Mm, mm!
Bree drank, you have to kiss Evan.
You really have to.
[Bree sighs]
That's the rule.
Aw, I like it.
I do like it, but I want
to feel more heart
between you guys.
I'm just trying to make love happen.
PIPPA:
Oh my god.
WRIGLEY:
Oh wow.
[howls]
Never have I ever
menstruated.
Oh, you know what that means?
WRIGLEY: I never have.
I never have. Please drink.
Bree. You gotta kiss him.
You gotta get some tongue in there
because the people want a show.
WRIGLEY: Oh yes.
LUCY: Woo!
That's good.
Can you take a picture of us?
Sure.
[camera shutter clicking]
Stephen, you should totally make that
your profile picture.
Oh my god. I might.
[Drew coughing]
STEPHEN: Oh!
LUCY: Ooh!
STEPHEN:
That's thumbs, Bree.
You know what that means?
Come... Rules are rules.
Oh, come on. That wasn't a kiss.
- WRIGLEY: Nice.
- That wasn't a kiss.
Alright. Look. I think I'm done.
These rules are fucked up.
- Voter check. Show me your penis!
- Hey! Stop it!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm sick of this shit.
Ugh.
[Pippa chuckles]
LUCY:
He did not like my rule.
Hey, Lucy, let's get you
some water. Okay?
No, I have to go apologize.
I'll get her water.
PIPPA: No, no, no.
STEPHEN: I got it. Come on...
PIPPA: No, I got it.
No. It's okay.
I just have to pee. That's all.
Thank you for staying
with me while I pee.
It's all good, my puswa.
[laughing]
I feel like girls should always go
to the bathroom together.
You know, like,
especially while we're drinking,
we should do that.
Okay, you know,
I'll watch you pee anytime.
So, oh.
That's, like, a lot of your pee hands.
- LUCY: Sorry.
- That's okay.
Are you sure you're okay?
'Cause it just kind of,
kind of seems like you're not.
Just think I drank a little bit more
than everyone did today.
Hey.
What? Hey. What? What?
I shouldn't have let Macy go
to that party alone.
I... Hey.
There's, like... it's okay.
There's no way that you
could have known that.
It's not okay.
It's not. I was mean to her.
And I was a shitty roommate.
And, and I hate that she went
to that party alone
thinking that I was mean to her.
[sniffles]
I'm sorry we don't
really talk about this.
Maybe we should.
There's a lot, Pippa.
[items clattering]
[Pippa gasps]
PIPPA:
What the hell was that?
[door opens]
BREE:
Holy shit!
[Wrigley laughs]
What the fuck?
You fucking blew her up, dude,
this is incredible!
You did it!
Did it hit you?
- You're bleeding.
- No, he's fine. He's fine.
Don't!
Oh, come on.
Just chill out and give me a hug.
Fuck off, dude!
Fuck all of you guys, alright?
You've been telling me
to chill all week,
and I can't fucking chill!
Look at how you act.
And you do it because you think
I'll just deal with it
and act like you're not
complete fucking assholes.
But guess what?
You're all fucking assholes!
You're not my fucking friends.
None of us are fucking friends.
We don't listen to each other.
We don't care about each other.
And I just have a feeling that that's,
that's just how I'm gonna feel
about each and every one of you.
Always.
♪ Somber music playing ♪
♪
STEPHEN:
Buddy, you want to come inside?
Stop telling me what
the fuck to do, Stephen!
WRIGLEY:
Come on. Let's go inside.
Hey, Bree.
♪
♪
[knocking on door]
BREE:
Hey.
LUCY:
Hey.
I don't know where Evan is.
- Hey, wake up.
- I am.
[birds chirping]
Evan!
Evan!
[door closes]
WRIGLEY:
Evan!
Evan, we're sorry!
Evan?
Evan!
Hey. Wake up.
[retching, coughing]
Fuck.
[groans]
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
[coughs]
Did, did you fall asleep out here?
I think I was trying to make
my way back to campus.
Right.
Well, wait, wait.
Don't, don't try to stand up just yet.
You might have a concussion.
[groaning]
I think Cosette got me
when I was trying to kill her.
[both laugh]
Yeah. It's, it's pretty bad.
[sobs]
I'm sorry for yelling at everybody.
Hey [scoffs]...
they deserved it.
I just feel so much pressure.
What do you mean?
Because everybody thinks
I'm so nice.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You don't have to apologize.
Our friends are stressful.
I love them, but
I feel like we just don't...
understand each other sometimes.
[Evan chuckles]
I know what you mean.
But you don't always have
to be nice to them, you know.
I'll still like you.
Oh yeah?
Have you really not noticed
how much I like you?
I guess I'm an idiot.
I haven't noticed a lot of shit.
Should we try and go back?
Alright.
I'm gonna be good for this walk.
- Oh yeah?
- Watch.
- [both chuckle]
- Okay.
Oh fuck.
Please help.
[both laughing]
You got it.
Okay. Just take it slow.
- Mm-hmm.
- Alright.
You don't have to answer this,
but what do your parents do
for a living?
My dad invented the materials used
for Slimy Hands.
[Bree laughing]
Are you serious?
Yeah.
[Bree laughing]
Oh my god.
Sorry. That's just...
EVAN: No, no, no.
It's, it's pretty funny actually.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Oh, oh.
♪ Happy birthday ♪
♪ Dear Evan ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[blows]
WRIGLEY: Hey!
[group clapping]
LUCY: Woo!
Thanks, guys.
And, look, you know,
coke makes me a little crazy
so please don't take
anything I said...
Hey, hey, don't apologize
to these assholes.
Your birthday was two days ago,
and we're just now singing to you.
Yeah, it was an epic weekend.
And you alone conquered Cosette.
[Evan laughs]
Yeah. Let me cut you a slice.
Nah, I think I'll get some later.
I'm gonna ice my head.
And, uh, since it's my birthday,
you guys clean up.
Okay.
BREE: Okay.
[laughter]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[knocking on door]
Well, you look really cozy.
- Ready to go? Got everything packed?
- Yeah.
I'm just trying to savor this mattress
before I have to go back
to my dorm bed.
With your shoes on?
Sorry.
I guess I'm just
kind of gross like that.
[Evan chuckles]
Well, I can safely say that you are
the least gross person in this house.
[Bree chuckles]
[Bree moans]
Is this okay?
Yes. [Laughing]
Yeah. It's more than okay.
♪ Death Cab for Cutie's
I Will Follow You into the Dark playing ♪
♪
♪ Love of mine ♪
♪ Someday you will die ♪
♪ But I'll be close behind ♪
♪ And follow you into the dark ♪
♪ No blinding light ♪
♪ Or tunnels to gates of white ♪
♪ Just our hands clasped so tight ♪
♪ Waiting for the hint of a spark ♪
♪ If heaven and hell decide ♪
♪ That they both are satisfied ♪
♪ Illuminate the "No's" ♪
♪ On their vacancy signs ♪
♪ If there's no one beside you ♪
♪ When your soul embarks ♪
♪ Then I'll follow you into the dark ♪
[Evan sighs softly]
♪ You and me ♪
♪ Have seen everything to see ♪
♪ From Bangkok to Calgary ♪
♪ And the soles
of your shoes ♪
♪ Are all worn down ♪
♪ The time for sleep is now ♪
♪ It's nothing to cry about ♪
[Bree moans]
♪ 'Cause we'll hold each other soon ♪
♪ The blackest of rooms ♪
[moaning]
♪ Illuminate the "No's" ♪
♪ On their vacancy signs ♪
♪ If there's no one beside you ♪
♪ When your soul embarks ♪
♪ Then I'll follow you into the dark ♪
♪ Then I'll follow you into the dark ♪
[water splashing]
[Pippa laughs]
Alright, everybody ready?
Mm-hmm.
Fuck, this is all wet.
Jesus. I borrowed this from school.
EVAN: Somebody must have
kicked it in the pool.
Can I, can I see it?
BREE: Shit.
Is the button working?
- EVAN: No.
- Hold it down.
EVAN:
Nothing.
Shit.
So many good pictures
of us on there.
Aw.
EVAN: Let me see
if I can go dry it for you.
BREE: Okay. Thanks.
EVAN: Yeah, no worries.
[keys jingling]
Hey, dude.
I'm sorry we got
our balls crossed this weekend.
I know I can be an asshole,
but I got nothing but love for you.
Come here.
♪ The Killer's
Smile Like You Mean It playing ♪
- Drive safe.
- Yeah, you too.
♪
♪
♪
♪ Save some face ♪
♪ You know you've only got one ♪
♪ Change your ways ♪
♪ While you're young ♪
♪ Boy ♪
♪ One day you'll be a man ♪
♪ Oh girl ♪
♪ He'll help you understand ♪
♪ Smile like you mean it ♪
♪ Smile like you mean it ♪
♪ Smile like you mean it ♪
♪ Oh no, oh no, no, no ♪
♪ Oh no, oh no, no, no ♪
♪
You are very drunk.
- Are you attracted to me?
- Yeah. Yeah.
EVAN: "Remember: Trust no one
unless they have a moose."
- Who sent you that?
- It's from my old foster sister.
I didn't know you were a foster kid.
Did you see Stephen over break?
No.
I think I'm done with him.
I am so relieved.
I am so sorry about Christmas.
LUCY: It's a flower
that you drew for Macy.
Did you go to that party with her?
She said that she could
drive me back to campus.
This other car came
around the corner really fast.
It was Drew.
Drew ran you guys off the road
and then just fucking left?
- Yeah.
- He can't get away with that.
I know. I know. I know.
You fucked my best friend.
This is it for us.
Pippa told me she saw you
and Diana together.
I am done looking like a fucking idiot.
You've been lying to Lucy all year.
You've been lying to her for months.
PIPPA: What?
About Macy.
Hiding the fact that
your boyfriend's brother
may have been the reason she died.
That would really hurt her.
LUCY: Stop. [Laughing]
Stephen.
[Stephen laughs]
STEPHEN: He's asleep.
Stop. [Laughing]
Shh. He's gonna hear us.
STEPHEN:
He's the heaviest sleeper I know.
Literally. Don't worry.
[alarm beeping]
LUCY: Oh shit.
Hey, good morning.
EVAN: Morning.
I'm gonna run some errands
ahead of you guys.
So just try and leave before noon
so you beat traffic.
STEPHEN:
Okay.
LUCY:
Hey, Evan.
Uh, thanks for inviting us all
to the lake.
It'll be really nice to get away.
Yeah, for sure. It's tradition.
See you guys.
LUCY:
See you.
[sighs]
♪ Peter Bjorn and John's
Young Folks playing ♪
[singer whistling]
♪
♪
♪
♪ If I told you things I did before ♪
♪ Told you how I used to be ♪
♪ Would you go along
with someone like me? ♪
♪ If you knew my story word for word ♪
CLERK:
Ooh. Whose birthday is it?
- A friend of mine.
- It's nice of you.
Mind if I see some ID?
Oh, it's yours.
The big 2-1. Happy birthday.
Now why on earth are you buying
your own cake?
[chuckles]
[mailbox opening]
WOMAN: Excuse me?
Can I help you?
Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks.
Does the family know you're here?
The family?
The family who owns this house.
I'm in contact with them,
and they never mentioned
any guests coming.
Uh, I don't think you know
who owns this place
because my family owns this place.
You can call Greg if you like.
WOMAN:
[chuckles] Excuse me?
Greg, the owner of the house
you must be renting.
Yeah. He goes way back
with my family.
Back when he bought
the house from my dad.
See, we used to own both.
Look, I-I'll give Greg a call.
You can't be too careful. I get it.
No, no. That's okay.
Okay.
♪ We can stick around
and see this night through ♪
♪ And we don't care
about the young folks ♪
♪ Talkin' 'bout the young style ♪
♪ And we don't care
about the old folks ♪
♪ Talkin' 'bout the old style too ♪
♪ And we don't care
about their own faults ♪
♪ Talkin' 'bout our own style ♪
♪ All we care about is talking ♪
BREE:
Oh my god.
PIPPA:
No way.
This is so pretty.
[Pippa laughing]
This place is crazy.
I don't know why he's here.
It just feels fucked up being in a house
with him all weekend.
Yeah, I know. It was Wrigley's idea.
It's okay. It's not gonna ruin
our weekend. We're good.
EVAN:
Okay, listen up.
Just a few rules
so my parents don't kill me.
Floors just got redone
so please, everyone,
take your shoes off.
Leave 'em at the front.
Uh, no glass by the pool.
- Uh, make sure...
- I shotgun the master!
Dude, I'm obviously in the master.
No, rules of shotgun must be followed.
It's my house,
and I'm always in the master.
Yes, because you've
always had a girlfriend,
but now you don't.
It's his birthday, Wrigley.
What are you doing?
What?
- Oh great.
- Hey, big boy.
PIPPA:
What are you doing?
EVAN:
Wrigley, what are you doing?
[Wrigley laughing]
- EVAN: Fuck.
- Oh!
[group yelling]
WRIGLEY: Oh my goodness.
This is incredible.
What is this?
Is this Egyptian cotton?
EVAN:
Dude, what the fuck?
- Wrigley!
- Alright.
This is the softest thing
my gooch has ever touched.
- Alright. Fine, fine, fine.
- Jesus!
It's all yours. Please, have it.
Oh, I've got, I've got more surprises.
Fireworks and cocaine.
[Evan chuckles awkwardly]
Oh shoot. You said no shoes
in the house, huh?
That's my bad.
♪
[water splashing]
- Ah!
- Is that Cosette?
It's Cosette!
- WRIGLEY: This is what we're thinking.
- My girl.
We're gonna soak her,
and then we're gonna freeze her.
- What is this?
- This is Cosette.
We found her in a thrift store
in town, freshman year.
And we were like,
we can totally destroy her.
STEPHEN:
Yes.
It turns out it's really hard
to crack a bowling ball.
We have been trying for three years,
every time we come up here.
But this year, Cosette will crack!
[phone beeping]
STEPHEN:
Hey, hey!
Pretty, right?
LUCY: Mm-hmm.
♪
- Hey.
- Hello.
PIPPA:
Hello.
Gorgeous.
I'm not photogenic.
Sure you are.
Pippa.
PIPPA: What?
BREE:
Look at me.
[camera shutter clicks]
BREE:
Cuties.
Okay. You have to send those to me
so I can make a Facebook album.
BREE:
Of course.
Hey, guys.
Get in the photo for Facebook.
Okay.
Come on. This is my good side.
Okay.
BREE: Ready?
Three, two, one!
[camera shutter clicking]
Got it.
Happy birthday.
I'm glad you were born.
Thanks.
[Bree chuckles]
[splashing]
[Lucy screams]
Ugh, Drew.
You got water in everyone's drinks.
Can you not?
Jesus.
- I'm rethinking this.
- Just let me focus please.
I don't think it's gonna work, Wrigley.
No. Water expands. This is science.
Well, that's only
if it absorbs the water,
and it won't
because it's a bowling ball.
WRIGLEY: I'm sorry, I took,
I took intro to chemistry twice.
What did you guys do?
WRIGLEY: What are you majoring in?
- It used to be physics.
- With Cosette?
- Used to be physics?
- Uh, well,
Cosette has been relegated
to an icy watery grave.
[all screaming]
No, no, no. It can be saved.
It can be saved!
Stop.
- LUCY: Paper towels, quick.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yes, ma'am.
Here you go.
- Can I? Thank you.
- Yeah.
WRIGLEY:
[snickers] Sorry.
Hey, um, Evan.
Where's the linen closet?
I want to get some fresh pillowcases.
Down the hall to the left
by the screening room.
I feel very spoiled here, Evan.
Our room has a massage chair in it.
- Oh, you got the room in the back.
- Mm-hmm.
That's good.
I was hoping you'd get that one.
It's the most soundproof.
[Wrigley laughs]
- Ha ha ha.
- It's a joke.
- It's a good one.
- Oh, no, no.
Oh, come on.
If I can pose, you can pose.
You're a lot prettier
than I am so...
- [camera shutter clicking]
- Bree, come try these.
Wow. Thank you.
LUCY: They're very good. Very strong.
Ooh, really good.
I want a picture with you.
- Really?
- Yeah. Evan?
- Yo.
- Can you take a picture?
Uh, yeah.
- Smile. It's for Mom.
- Okay.
EVAN:
One, two, three.
[camera shutter clicks]
Aw.
WRIGLEY: Alright, thank you.
EVAN:
Yeah, sure.
What are you doing?
[Evan laughs]
It'll totally fall off the ceiling.
I promise.
Uh-huh. [Laughing]
I'm kind of obsessed with these things.
- What? Slimy hands?
- Yeah.
When I was a kid, they were like
the one toy I could buy myself,
and they always had them
in those little vending machines.
But it seems like you like them
even more than I did.
No, I hate them actually.
Then why do you have this
pathologically large collection of them?
Ah, it's stupid. It's...
Oh my god. Did anyone
get you a birthday cake?
Yeah. I got one. It's in the fridge.
You got your own birthday cake?
Why do people keep acting
like that's weird?
You're funny.
You have even lower expectations
of our friends than I do.
[both laughing]
You, uh, you played football?
EVAN:
Oh yeah. For, like, a season.
Then I quit.
Really? Why?
Because that's what I do.
I quit things,
according to my dad.
I'm joking. [Chuckles]
I just mean
I haven't quite figured out
what I want to do yet.
And, uh, I think sometimes
that worries my parents.
You've only been old enough
to drink for, like, 12 hours,
so I think you've got some time.
[Evan chuckles]
Yeah. I guess no one ever
framed it like that before.
That's true.
[loud clattering]
WRIGLEY:
Sorry! Very sorry. My bad.
My bad.
BREE: Shit.
I wish Wrigley would
tone it down a little.
It's just, for some reason,
being here, he's so much,
uh, louder than he is on campus.
Yeah 'cause campus is a lot bigger.
Guys.
This house is palatial.
BREE AND PIPPA:
I know.
What do Evan's parents do
for a living?
I'm betting they're finance people.
It's just so crazy that
Evan's still so nice.
LUCY:
Yeah. It's crazy.
Like, if I had that much money,
I'd be a raging cunt
every day, intentionally.
He's great.
Aww.
I just wanna, like,
jump on him, you know.
But he's, like,
giving me friend vibes,
like, I don't know,
like maybe I imagined anything else.
PIPPA:
No, no, no, no, no. He likes you.
He just forgot how to do this
because he's had a girlfriend
for the past two years.
Bree, you have to take a picture of us
in this insane bathroom.
Okay. Get in the tub.
BREE AND PIPPA:
In the tub?
Yeah, get in the tub.
Okay.
PIPPA: How about the shoes?
LUCY: Okay.
BREE:
Yes.
Oh yes.
[camera clicking]
Magnifique.
- Oh yes.
- Oh my god. I can see your underwear.
- Sorry.
- You're flashing your puswa.
BREE AND PIPPA:
What?
- LUCY: What is that?
- I don't know.
I'm taking French 101.
I feel like pussy is puswa in French.
[all laughing]
STEPHEN: Nice. Wow.
LUCY: Gotta savor this.
Yeah, exactly.
ALL: Cheers.
LUCY: Here you go
- Oh, thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, guys.
Cheers.
Mm.
- Puswa.
- Mm-hmm.
Who have you been texting?
Tallyho!
[glass shattering]
WRIGLEY: Oh shit!
LUCY: Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Wrigley, what the fuck?
Wrigley!
He's such a fucking idiot.
I'll help you clean.
EVAN: Fuck.
PIPPA:
Can we help, Evan?
EVAN:
No, it's, it's okay.
Wrigley! Wrigley, what are you...
Oh my god.
PIPPA: Stop.
Oh.
[Wrigley yelling]
- LUCY: Jesus.
- Die, you whore!
- Cosette is uncracked!
- Wrigley!
Wrigley.
You know you're not
at a frat party, right?
This always happens
when Wrigley does Coke.
Do you want me to talk to him?
EVAN:
It's fine.
Could you get
the chairs for me. Just...
WRIGLEY:
I'm so sorry, dude. I...
I thought
it was gonna hit the...
- It's fine. It's fine.
- The ground. You know?
If it was gonna hit the table,
I wouldn't have thrown it obviously.
- It's fine.
- Yeah. It's not.
Tell your parents I'm an idiot
and I'm gonna buy another table.
I'm gonna get some water.
- Ah.
- Hey. [Laughing]
That's a really cool penis.
Evan never said anything
about, you know,
nudity in the house rule.
Yeah.
I know you love your body
'cause you spend so much time on it,
but one day those massive pecks
are gonna turn into Bob bitch tits.
I'd rather not look at them right now.
♪
♪
♪
Hey, birthday boy.
Hey.
This must be your
best birthday yet. Huh?
Yeah. Just beat.
Yeah. I'm sorry.
I'm sure everyone will
tone down tomorrow.
- Hopefully.
- Hmm.
Well, you know,
once Wrigley gets into the coke,
it's usually downhill from there.
Yeah.
- Can I grab...
- Yeah.
Look.
Glittery eyes.
Pippa gave them to me.
I think you owe it to the glitter
to have a good night.
Are you not getting enough attention?
♪
I'm sorry. I'm just trying
to cheer you up.
I don't need you to, thanks.
[people chattering]
Okay. I put my clothes on.
Now, can we be best friends again
and do some cocaine?
Come on.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
BREE:
Okay. Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
- What?
Call me crazy.
I feel like Cosette is like
a sloppy metaphor
for the female college experience.
What do you mean?
Well...
[women gigging]
She's pink.
Mm-hmm.
And they're trying
really fucking hard to destroy her.
Oh god.
[Bree laughing]
Drew's been doing better.
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.
He really is.
You know,
it was weird growing up.
He was never a sad kid. Ever.
So,
seeing him like that
really freaked me out.
Yeah. Of course.
It's been really fucking hard for me.
You know?
You've been a really good friend.
Thank you, man.
- Yeah.
- [sighs] Jesus. I'm being cheesy.
No.
[women laughing]
So you and Lucy are like
the real thing now, huh?
Yeah. [Laughing]
That's great, man.
I'm happy for you.
Leave the Diana drama behind. Jesus.
Let's not talk about Diana.
[women laughing]
- Um, that's...
- Hi there.
Hi.
BREE:
Um...
[sighs]
- Hi.
- Hey.
WRIGLEY:
Look who decided to have fun.
Hey. You're not still mad
at me, are you?
Nope.
PIPPA: Hey, Evan.
Evan, are there, like, bears here?
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
There are actually.
PIPPA:
[gasps] Scary.
Mooses too.
Mooses, moose?
What's the plural for moose?
Meese.
[Evan laughing]
You would know that.
You... that postcard
your sister sent you.
Um, what? [Laughing]
Bree doesn't have a sister.
EVAN:
Oh shit.
I'm, I'm really sorry.
No, that's, that's fine.
Yeah, my, my old foster sister,
she sent me
a postcard last semester.
It's, it's nothing.
- It's stupid.
- You were in foster care?
Yeah, but it's not a big deal.
It's just you never mentioned it.
Oh, that's because
it was just never brought up.
It's not like it's a secret.
Bree.
Do we have to do this right now?
In a hot tub.
I'm, I'm really sorry.
I thought you told them already.
BREE:
No, it's fine.
I'm tired actually.
I'm gonna go to bed.
♪
Yeah. I think I'm gonna call it
a night too actually.
Do you wanna go upstairs?
Yeah.
WRIGLEY:
Good night, Drew!
Wait.
You alright?
No, not really. Are you okay?
I'm watching Drew
just go on with his life
like nothing happened.
It's not just what he did to Macy.
I mean, he could have killed you.
You can't focus on him.
He's gonna drive you insane.
Isn't it driving you insane?
Macy's dead and he just gets
to have fun
and try to fuck up a bowling ball?
STEPHEN: I know.
I think we should tell
Macy's parents about Drew.
I really do.
He ran you guys off the road.
I can't stop thinking about it.
I can't stop thinking about her.
I think about her all the time.
- All the time.
- Okay.
And, and we should just tell them,
and then they can decide
what to do with it.
But I can't know this information
and not say anything.
- It's fucking with my head.
- Okay.
And it's not fair for them
to live their lives
thinking that their daughter
was this reckless drunk
when it's not true.
- It's not...
- Okay, I get it.
- Macy wasn't like that.
- I know. I know. I know.
I just feel so guilty hiding this.
If we tell Macy's parents,
it's just more attention.
They'll talk to the police.
It won't just be
an accident anymore.
People will start asking questions
about that night.
And I was there, Lucy,
that could ruin my life.
- I know. I know you were there.
- It can fuck everything up.
But you did not do anything wrong.
You were scared.
People won't see it that way.
I just,
I would keep him away from Bree.
- You noticed that, right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- I thought I saw them flirting.
- Yeah.
Wrigley's really trying
to make it happen.
He wants Drew to get laid.
Fuck Wrigley.
He should be focusing on his own shit.
- Yeah.
- He hasn't even realized
Pippa's been texting someone all weekend.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I keep bringing this up
and I'm, I'm...
I know this is
so, so much worse for you.
- I know that.
- It's easier that you're here.
You care about me, right?
You know I do.
♪
[water sloshing]
♪
[coffee trickling]
Hey.
Morning.
[water running]
Uh, look, um,
I feel like shit about last night.
I really wasn't trying
to embarrass you.
I wasn't embarrassed.
Do you think it's embarrassing?
What? No. No, no, no, no.
That's, that's not what I'm saying at all.
I, I could just tell
that you were, you know,
obviously upset.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I, I wasn't embarrassed.
I just, I like being able
to tell people things
on my own terms, you know.
And now they think I was hiding it
and that's not what it was.
I just,
I don't go around
telling people my business
if they don't ask
'cause everyone's so wrapped up
in their own shit anyway,
that if they want to know more,
they'll make that clear.
Okay.
But, you know, I honestly think
nobody would care.
You not saying anything
kind of makes it
a bigger deal than it is, you know.
You don't understand
what I'm trying to say.
I'm trying to though.
WRIGLEY: Ooh.
Hi.
PIPPA: Hi.
BREE: Good morning.
WRIGLEY: Good morning.
Good morning.
We still doing canoe Olympics today?
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
What is that?
Two miles to the island,
pee on the rock, two miles back.
Canoers must drink
one beer per mile each
and one beer on the island.
Oh, the rock looks like boobs.
PIPPA:
That sounds so fun.
Think I'm gonna stay at the house.
Hey, uh, Wrigley,
can you not leave your brother
for us to babysit?
Okay. What's the...
What is your problem?
He's harassing Bree
and you're, like, encouraging it.
She's not interested at all. Okay.
He blew it.
Especially after Welcome Week.
What part of, what part of Welcome Week
are you referring to?
When he ghosted her.
It sucked.
Hey.
LUCY: Thank you.
You're gonna come with us, right?
Don't be a pussy.
WRIGLEY: I don't know what's going on
with her, but Lucy's hating on Drew,
and I don't want him
to start spiraling again.
- What do you mean?
- Oh, come on.
I'm sure you've noticed.
No, I actually haven't. [Laughing]
I don't know what reality
you're living in, dude,
but your girlfriend's texting someone else
right in front of your face.
And you're worried about Lucy.
Sorry, what?
By the way, dude,
we invited Bree here for Evan,
and Drew's hanging
all over her, like really.
No, Evan,
Evan's not interested in Bree.
What does it matter
if Drew's talking to her?
Oh my god. It's his birthday.
You should really talk to him.
I think he's getting annoyed.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
STEPHEN:
Alright, boys.
Drew, you're in the canoe with me.
- Let's ride.
- This beach? Ah.
Wrigley. Geez...
WRIGLEY: Evan, get the cooler!
Evan, get the cooler!
♪ Upbeat music ♪
- Paddle, paddle, paddle.
- Come on, Drew!
WRIGLEY:
Paddle, paddle!
♪ But you can kiss this goodbye ♪
♪ You get what you deserve ♪
Come on, Drew.
♪ So, baby, close your eyes ♪
♪ I'll kick you to the curb ♪
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
LUCY:
Wow. That is strong.
Hey, um, did you talk
to Bree yet about last night?
No, I haven't. Have you?
No, I don't know if she wants us
to talk to her about it...
Hey!
- BREE: Hey.
- Hi.
PIPPA:
It is so beautiful out here.
LUCY: So beautiful.
PIPPA: Do you want?
This is bullshit.
You guys are so uncomfortable.
LUCY AND PIPPA:
What?
No, we're not.
Okay. [Sighs]
I had a single mom
who was really young,
had a lot of issues.
So she tried to take care of me,
but she couldn't.
So then I went to go live
with my grandma, but she died.
So I went back with my mom,
but that was a mess.
So I wound up in a foster family
and I've been in three different homes.
Two of them were great.
One of them wasn't.
And now I'm an adult.
Bree, you could have told us.
We love you.
BREE: Yeah, but,
when did you guys ever ask
about my family?
We talked about
your family a little bit.
Like, your mom does retail.
Yeah, she does do retail.
As far as I know.
I'm sorry.
I don't even know what I'm saying.
We're assholes
and, and we should have
asked about you.
That's crazy.
Yeah. No, like, we're the worst.
You're not.
You guys are just busy
thinking about other things.
Change the subject.
Okay. Um... go.
It seems like Drew's been
following you around all weekend.
But if I had to choose,
I prefer you with Evan.
Maybe I should play matchmaker.
I can't believe how far ahead
your brother is.
He's a beast!
Hey, is, is Lucy mad
at me about something?
Lucy?
Um, no, she hasn't said anything. Why?
Are you worried
Pippa told her or something,
'cause she definitely didn't.
Lucy doesn't know anything.
Wait, what?
Oh, I'm just saying.
Lucy doesn't know about the accident.
Pippa didn't tell her.
But Pi-Pippa doesn't know
about the accident.
Does she?
Stephen, what the fuck, dude?
- Calm down. Calm down.
- What the fuck?
Look forward,
look forward, look forward.
You're gonna capsize us. Stop.
It's fine.
Completely fine.
Fuck. Sorry, dude.
I, I really thought he told you.
Told me what?
He told Pippa!
Like, ages ago. I don't even think
they were officially together.
- Are you serious?
- Don't worry.
She's not gonna tell anyone.
But if I were you,
I wouldn't trust him
with everything anymore, you know.
DREW:
Yeah.
And what if he breaks up with her?
WRIGLEY: Do it for Cosette!
EVAN: I'm trying!
Hey.
So what's your deal with Bree?
What do you mean?
We're friends.
So you don't see her as anything else?
Nah, I mean, I, I see her,
she's gorgeous, but...
- Okay.
- You know, we're just friends.
'Cause Stephen told me
that there might be something
between you and her,
and I see Drew making moves.
I feel like it might be good for him.
Stephen thinks there's something
with me and Bree?
Yeah, but the fuck does he know?
You know?
Well, did she say anything?
I don't know the details.
Are you gonna shotgun her?
What? [Laughing]
No. What are you talking about?
She's our, she's our friend, Wrigley.
I'm not gonna shotgun her.
Are you serious?
I don't want Drew to mess
anything up if you're into her.
But if you're not,
then I wanna let him know
that he has the green light.
Oh, so you want me
to call dibs on her
just in case I might be interested later?
Unless you're okay
with Drew making a move.
No, you know, I just don't
want things to get messy.
Well, yeah.
I guess tell him not to then.
WRIGLEY: Oh, so,
so you are calling shotgun?
Yeah. Whatever, dude.
Shotgun, I guess.
WRIGLEY: Alright, cool.
That's all I need to needed to know.
♪ Penicillin Baby's Working Man playing ♪
Wrigley, they're here! Hurry up!
♪
[trickling]
[Stephen laughs]
Wrigley can't pee on command!
- Oh my god, look out!
- No, no, no! No!
STEPHEN:
Go! Go! Go!
EVAN:
Wrigley!
Hurry up!
Come on. Let's beat these fuckers.
Let's go, baby!
♪ Always on the clock till I die ♪
♪ Then I'm dead ♪
♪ I'm always on the clock ♪
♪ I'm always on the clock ♪
♪ Always on the clock ♪
♪ Till I die ♪
Fuck!
WRIGLEY:
Eat my ass, you fucking losers!
Yes! [Laughing]
I am the king of the sea!
I am the king of the sea!
Oh, hey.
Evan has officially
called shotgun on Bree.
Let it be known. Let it be known.
Nobody needed to shotgun her.
She's not a seat in the car.
- Oh what? Come on.
- Yeah. That's what I said.
It's just a phrase.
- I'm just fucking around.
- Yeah.
♪ Hip-hop music playing ♪
PIPPA:
Four!
- Whores!
- Whores!
[women laughing]
BREE:
Yelling at the whores.
STEPHEN: Okay. Me.
LUCY: Oh you.
STEPHEN:
Give me a...
Fuck yeah! A jack.
Ooh.
STEPHEN: New rule.
Okay. Everyone has
to pull out their phones
and gotta pass it
to the person to your left,
and then they have to read
your last text message
- or you have to finish a drink.
- Ooh.
PIPPA:
Okay. Wait, what? No.
Fuck, no, fuck that.
I'm not doing that.
Oh, what's wrong?
What's wrong with your texts?
Are they that bad?
Pippa, come on.
Let me just read your texts.
No, I, I finished my drink,
so I don't have to.
Alright, um, my turn.
Five.
Never have I ever.
Never have I ever cheated
on someone before.
What?
You've cheated on people?
[Stephen laughing]
[all laughing]
On everyone.
Except for you probably.
I don't know.
I've never cheated on you.
Why, I'm, like, special or something?
Yeah.
LUCY:
Okay, it's my turn.
Jack, rule master.
Every time Bree drinks,
drum roll please.
[boys drumming]
She has to kiss Evan.
- Oh.
- Oh.
[Bree chuckles]
STEPHEN: Oh no, a thumb master.
LUCY: Oh Bree. You have to.
STEPHEN:
You have to.
Rules are rules.
- LUCY: Oh.
- Aw.
STEPHEN:
Ow! Mm-hmm.
So cute.
[gasps] Four!
Whores.
Mm, mm!
Bree drank, you have to kiss Evan.
You really have to.
[Bree sighs]
That's the rule.
Aw, I like it.
I do like it, but I want
to feel more heart
between you guys.
I'm just trying to make love happen.
PIPPA:
Oh my god.
WRIGLEY:
Oh wow.
[howls]
Never have I ever
menstruated.
Oh, you know what that means?
WRIGLEY: I never have.
I never have. Please drink.
Bree. You gotta kiss him.
You gotta get some tongue in there
because the people want a show.
WRIGLEY: Oh yes.
LUCY: Woo!
That's good.
Can you take a picture of us?
Sure.
[camera shutter clicking]
Stephen, you should totally make that
your profile picture.
Oh my god. I might.
[Drew coughing]
STEPHEN: Oh!
LUCY: Ooh!
STEPHEN:
That's thumbs, Bree.
You know what that means?
Come... Rules are rules.
Oh, come on. That wasn't a kiss.
- WRIGLEY: Nice.
- That wasn't a kiss.
Alright. Look. I think I'm done.
These rules are fucked up.
- Voter check. Show me your penis!
- Hey! Stop it!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm sick of this shit.
Ugh.
[Pippa chuckles]
LUCY:
He did not like my rule.
Hey, Lucy, let's get you
some water. Okay?
No, I have to go apologize.
I'll get her water.
PIPPA: No, no, no.
STEPHEN: I got it. Come on...
PIPPA: No, I got it.
No. It's okay.
I just have to pee. That's all.
Thank you for staying
with me while I pee.
It's all good, my puswa.
[laughing]
I feel like girls should always go
to the bathroom together.
You know, like,
especially while we're drinking,
we should do that.
Okay, you know,
I'll watch you pee anytime.
So, oh.
That's, like, a lot of your pee hands.
- LUCY: Sorry.
- That's okay.
Are you sure you're okay?
'Cause it just kind of,
kind of seems like you're not.
Just think I drank a little bit more
than everyone did today.
Hey.
What? Hey. What? What?
I shouldn't have let Macy go
to that party alone.
I... Hey.
There's, like... it's okay.
There's no way that you
could have known that.
It's not okay.
It's not. I was mean to her.
And I was a shitty roommate.
And, and I hate that she went
to that party alone
thinking that I was mean to her.
[sniffles]
I'm sorry we don't
really talk about this.
Maybe we should.
There's a lot, Pippa.
[items clattering]
[Pippa gasps]
PIPPA:
What the hell was that?
[door opens]
BREE:
Holy shit!
[Wrigley laughs]
What the fuck?
You fucking blew her up, dude,
this is incredible!
You did it!
Did it hit you?
- You're bleeding.
- No, he's fine. He's fine.
Don't!
Oh, come on.
Just chill out and give me a hug.
Fuck off, dude!
Fuck all of you guys, alright?
You've been telling me
to chill all week,
and I can't fucking chill!
Look at how you act.
And you do it because you think
I'll just deal with it
and act like you're not
complete fucking assholes.
But guess what?
You're all fucking assholes!
You're not my fucking friends.
None of us are fucking friends.
We don't listen to each other.
We don't care about each other.
And I just have a feeling that that's,
that's just how I'm gonna feel
about each and every one of you.
Always.
♪ Somber music playing ♪
♪
STEPHEN:
Buddy, you want to come inside?
Stop telling me what
the fuck to do, Stephen!
WRIGLEY:
Come on. Let's go inside.
Hey, Bree.
♪
♪
[knocking on door]
BREE:
Hey.
LUCY:
Hey.
I don't know where Evan is.
- Hey, wake up.
- I am.
[birds chirping]
Evan!
Evan!
[door closes]
WRIGLEY:
Evan!
Evan, we're sorry!
Evan?
Evan!
Hey. Wake up.
[retching, coughing]
Fuck.
[groans]
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
[coughs]
Did, did you fall asleep out here?
I think I was trying to make
my way back to campus.
Right.
Well, wait, wait.
Don't, don't try to stand up just yet.
You might have a concussion.
[groaning]
I think Cosette got me
when I was trying to kill her.
[both laugh]
Yeah. It's, it's pretty bad.
[sobs]
I'm sorry for yelling at everybody.
Hey [scoffs]...
they deserved it.
I just feel so much pressure.
What do you mean?
Because everybody thinks
I'm so nice.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You don't have to apologize.
Our friends are stressful.
I love them, but
I feel like we just don't...
understand each other sometimes.
[Evan chuckles]
I know what you mean.
But you don't always have
to be nice to them, you know.
I'll still like you.
Oh yeah?
Have you really not noticed
how much I like you?
I guess I'm an idiot.
I haven't noticed a lot of shit.
Should we try and go back?
Alright.
I'm gonna be good for this walk.
- Oh yeah?
- Watch.
- [both chuckle]
- Okay.
Oh fuck.
Please help.
[both laughing]
You got it.
Okay. Just take it slow.
- Mm-hmm.
- Alright.
You don't have to answer this,
but what do your parents do
for a living?
My dad invented the materials used
for Slimy Hands.
[Bree laughing]
Are you serious?
Yeah.
[Bree laughing]
Oh my god.
Sorry. That's just...
EVAN: No, no, no.
It's, it's pretty funny actually.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Oh, oh.
♪ Happy birthday ♪
♪ Dear Evan ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[blows]
WRIGLEY: Hey!
[group clapping]
LUCY: Woo!
Thanks, guys.
And, look, you know,
coke makes me a little crazy
so please don't take
anything I said...
Hey, hey, don't apologize
to these assholes.
Your birthday was two days ago,
and we're just now singing to you.
Yeah, it was an epic weekend.
And you alone conquered Cosette.
[Evan laughs]
Yeah. Let me cut you a slice.
Nah, I think I'll get some later.
I'm gonna ice my head.
And, uh, since it's my birthday,
you guys clean up.
Okay.
BREE: Okay.
[laughter]
[sighs]
[sighs]
[knocking on door]
Well, you look really cozy.
- Ready to go? Got everything packed?
- Yeah.
I'm just trying to savor this mattress
before I have to go back
to my dorm bed.
With your shoes on?
Sorry.
I guess I'm just
kind of gross like that.
[Evan chuckles]
Well, I can safely say that you are
the least gross person in this house.
[Bree chuckles]
[Bree moans]
Is this okay?
Yes. [Laughing]
Yeah. It's more than okay.
♪ Death Cab for Cutie's
I Will Follow You into the Dark playing ♪
♪
♪ Love of mine ♪
♪ Someday you will die ♪
♪ But I'll be close behind ♪
♪ And follow you into the dark ♪
♪ No blinding light ♪
♪ Or tunnels to gates of white ♪
♪ Just our hands clasped so tight ♪
♪ Waiting for the hint of a spark ♪
♪ If heaven and hell decide ♪
♪ That they both are satisfied ♪
♪ Illuminate the "No's" ♪
♪ On their vacancy signs ♪
♪ If there's no one beside you ♪
♪ When your soul embarks ♪
♪ Then I'll follow you into the dark ♪
[Evan sighs softly]
♪ You and me ♪
♪ Have seen everything to see ♪
♪ From Bangkok to Calgary ♪
♪ And the soles
of your shoes ♪
♪ Are all worn down ♪
♪ The time for sleep is now ♪
♪ It's nothing to cry about ♪
[Bree moans]
♪ 'Cause we'll hold each other soon ♪
♪ The blackest of rooms ♪
[moaning]
♪ Illuminate the "No's" ♪
♪ On their vacancy signs ♪
♪ If there's no one beside you ♪
♪ When your soul embarks ♪
♪ Then I'll follow you into the dark ♪
♪ Then I'll follow you into the dark ♪
[water splashing]
[Pippa laughs]
Alright, everybody ready?
Mm-hmm.
Fuck, this is all wet.
Jesus. I borrowed this from school.
EVAN: Somebody must have
kicked it in the pool.
Can I, can I see it?
BREE: Shit.
Is the button working?
- EVAN: No.
- Hold it down.
EVAN:
Nothing.
Shit.
So many good pictures
of us on there.
Aw.
EVAN: Let me see
if I can go dry it for you.
BREE: Okay. Thanks.
EVAN: Yeah, no worries.
[keys jingling]
Hey, dude.
I'm sorry we got
our balls crossed this weekend.
I know I can be an asshole,
but I got nothing but love for you.
Come here.
♪ The Killer's
Smile Like You Mean It playing ♪
- Drive safe.
- Yeah, you too.
♪
♪
♪
♪ Save some face ♪
♪ You know you've only got one ♪
♪ Change your ways ♪
♪ While you're young ♪
♪ Boy ♪
♪ One day you'll be a man ♪
♪ Oh girl ♪
♪ He'll help you understand ♪
♪ Smile like you mean it ♪
♪ Smile like you mean it ♪
♪ Smile like you mean it ♪
♪ Oh no, oh no, no, no ♪
♪ Oh no, oh no, no, no ♪
♪