Supernatural (2005–…): Season 5, Episode 20 - Supernatural - full transcript

Dean and Sam are heading east in their Impala tracking down a swine flu outbreak. Out of the blue, the cunning demon Crowley appears in their car and offers to help them to find the last ...

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What would I do without you?

- No!
- Ah!

Something turned him into a monster.
What are we dealing with?

Croatoan. It's a virus,
plague and pestilence.

Who knows
how far this thing can spread?

WOMAN:
Ah!

SAM:
It's Crowley, right?

DEAN: Why, exactly, would you want
the devil dead?

Survival.

If Lucifer manages
to exterminate humankind, we're next.

GABRIEL: The cage you sprung Lucifer
from, you can shove his ass back in.



The key to the cage,
four rings from the horsemen.

DEAN: Well, we got War's.
WAR: Ah!

DEAN:
We nicked Famine's.

That's two rings down. Collect all four.

- All we need is Pestilence and Death.
SAM: Oh, is that all?

[MICE SQUEALING]

DOCTOR 1: I'm just glad
we got something to offer.

DOCTOR 2: Well, I'm sorry, it's a load
of crap. Pure profit-driven crap.

DOCTOR 1:
Well, swine flu, it's an epidemic.

Well, if Niveus is really worried,
they'd be giving the vaccine for free.

- But this supposed new formula?
- They say it's faster acting.

Well, maybe it is,
but human trials this week?

DOCTOR 1: Yeah, it does seem a little rushed.
- A little rushed?

- Have you even seen the new vaccine?
- No.



- Yeah, neither have I.
- I have.

- Who the hell are you?
- I'm running the experiment.

DOCTOR 1: Oh!
DOCTOR 2: Ugh!

What the hell?

Relax. You're part of it too.

DOCTOR 1:
What are you doing?

Hey, you open this door.

Stop.

[DOCTOR 1 GRUNTING & SCREAMING]

[MONKEY SHRIEKING]

Well, it looks like it works.

[COUGHING]

DEAN: Hey, check it out.
I look like the King of Pop.

Too soon? Too soon.

DOCTOR: Don't get me wrong,
I'm glad the CDC is here.

- But what we really need is vaccine.
DEAN: You got that right.

SAM: Tell me, have you noticed
anything unusual about the strain?

Any signs of behavioral change?

- Like aggression, maybe?
DOCTOR: Excuse me?

DEAN: Have the flu victims shown
any signs of, uh, homicidal tendencies?

DOCTOR:
Um, symptomatically speaking...

we're looking at a relatively mild case
of swine flu here.

Probably a miserable week off of work.
That's about it.

DEAN:
So nothing unusual.

DOCTOR: Well, day and a half ago,
we didn't have a single case.

Now we're looking at over 70.

Infectious equivalent
of a briefcase bomb.

- Yeah, I might call that a little unusual.
SAM: Day and a half.

DEAN: Same time statues started crying.
SAM: Yep.

DOCTOR: I'm sorry, what was that?
DEAN: What was what?

DOCTOR: Did you say
a bunch of statues started crying?

SAM:
What? No, who...?

DEAN: Who would say that? Crazy people.
SAM: Exactly.

DEAN: Which we are not.
SAM: No.

DOCTOR:
Just get us some vaccine.

BOBBY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Let me guess.
Another steaming-hot pile of swine flu.

- Yep.
- Doesn't make any sense, Bobby.

Pestilence touched down here.
I'm sure of it.

Why is he dealing up swine flu
when he's got the Croatoan virus?

I don't get it.

Doesn't matter
what the son of a bitch is doing.

What matters is this is the fourth town
he's hit that we know of.

And we're still eating his dust.
Did you get anything?

We got even a snowball
at probable next target?

- Uh, no pattern we can see.
- Okay.

Hold on.

Well, as far as I can tell,
he's still heading east.

So head east, I guess.

- East?
- East?

Bobby, we're in West Nevada.
East is practically all there is.

Yeah? Well, you better get to driving.

[SAM SIGHS]

Say, I've got an idea.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

- Did you get him?
- He's gone.

Fancy a fag and a chat?

You're upset. We should discuss it.
Not here, but...

SAM:
You wanna talk? After what you did?

After what I did to you?
I gave you the Colt.

Yeah, and you knew it wouldn't work.

- I never.
SAM: You set us up.

We lost people on that suicide run.
Good people.

Who you take on the ride
is your own business.

Look, everything is still the same.

- We're all still in this together.
- Sure, we are.

Call your dog off, please.

- Give me one good reason.
- I can give you Pestilence.

- What do you know about Pestilence?
- I know how to get him.

That's got your interest, doesn't it?

- You actually listening to this?
- Sam.

- Are you nuts?
- Shut up a second.

Shut up, the both of you.

Look.

I swear, I thought the Colt would work.
It's an honest mistake.

It's all part of the learning process.

But nothing's changed.
I still want the devil dead.

Well, one thing's changed. Now the devil
knows that I want him dead.

Which makes me the most buggered son
in all of creation.

- Holy crap, we don't care.
- They burned down my house.

They ate my tailor.

Two months under a rock
like a bloody salamander.

Every demon on hell and earth
has got his eyes out for me.

And yet here I am,
last place I should be...

in the road talking
to Sam and Dean Winchester...

under a frigging spotlight.

So come with me. Please.

You want the horsemen rings or not?

Yes, I know all about that. Shall we?

Here we are. My life on the lam.

How the mighty have fallen.

Single-pane glass.

Used contraception in the fireplace.

- The water damage alone...
- My heart's bleeding for you.

Now, how do you know about the rings?

Well, now, I've been keeping
a close eye on you lot.

We got hex bags.
We're hidden from demons.

All but one.

That night you broke into my house,
our first date.

My valet hid a tracking device
in your car.

A magical coin that easily trumps
your little bags of bones.

Allows me to hear things too.
And, my, the things I've heard. Heh, heh.

So you wanna cram
the devil back in the box.

Cunning scheme.

I want in.

You said you could get us Pestilence.

Well, now...

I don't know where Pestilence is per se.

But I do know the demon who does.

He's what you might call
the horsemen's stable boy.

He handles their itineraries,
their personal needs.

He's who you want, believe me.
He'll tell us where Sneezy's at.

Well, how do we get him to spill?
Rip out his toenails?

No.

Nuts at his pay grade don't crack.
We bring him here. Then I sell him.

- Sell him?
- Please.

I've sold sin to saints for centuries.

Think I can't close one little demon?

All right,
so where's this demon of yours?

I don't wanna hear "weeks."
I wanna hear "days."

- But the lab isn't finished testing yet.
- Let me worry about the lab.

You're asking for distribution
on an unprecedented scale.

We have an unprecedented outbreak.
The nation is terrified of swine flu.

They want our vaccine.
They need our vaccine.

It's called demand, people. Now, supply.

We're doing our best.

You're doing your best?
You're doing your best?

Well, then do the best
of somebody better!

- You wanted to see me?
- Mitchell, yes, come on in.

Look, Mr. Brady,
I know how important this is.

- And I'm sorry if I...
- No apologies.

Mitch, I need people like you.

- Really?
- Really.

In fact, there is a position
in Communications...

that I think you would be perfect for.

- Sounds great.
- Is great. So, what do you say?

You ready to enter the cutthroat world
of upper management?

- Awesome.
- Awesome.

Watch the shoes, please.

Get the rest later, thanks.

[SPEAKING INCANTATION]

Sir, great news. The vaccine trials...

the results have been
really quite grotesque.

I think you'll be pleased.

How soon?

Distribution at this scale... We do
need humans. Can't possess them all.

Don't even get me started
on the teamsters. I...

[FLIES BUZZING]

I know, I am doing my best. Yes, sir.

The best of someone better.

I will, of course.

Why are we even listening to him, Dean?

- This is totally insane.
- I don't disagree.

One big happy family,
are we, then? Fantastic.

- You ready to go?
- Yes, yes, I am.

Sam, keep the home fires burning.

- What are you talking about?
- Sam's not coming.

- Why the hell not?
- Because I don't like you.

I don't trust you.

And, oh, yes, you keep trying to kill me.

There's no damn way.

- This isn't gonna happen.
- I'm not asking you, am I?

Because you're not invited.
I'm asking you.

What's it gonna be?

Gentlemen, enjoy your last few sunsets.

Wait.

I'll go.

What can I say? I believe the guy.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

And then Dean just walks.

Right out the door with Crowley.

Look, Sam, I got no love for demons.

And, yeah,
this whole thing is crazy, but...

I don't know.

After a year of chasing up zilch,
maybe it's time to go crazy.

Yeah, maybe.

[SIGHS]

- Hey, Bobby.
- Yeah?

Remember that time
you were possessed?

Yeah, rings a bell.

When Meg told you to kill Dean,
you didn't.

- You took your body back.
- Just long enough to shank myself, yeah.

Well, how'd you do it?

I mean, how'd you take back the wheel?

Why are you asking, Sam?

Say we can open the cage, great,
but then what?

We just lead the devil to the edge
and get him to jump in?

You got me.

What if you guys lead the devil
to the edge and I jump in?

Sam.

Like when you turned the knife
on yourself, one action, just one leap.

- Are you idiots trying to kill me?
- Bobby.

We got done talking your brother off
a ledge. Now you're lining up to say yes?

It's not like that.
I'm not gonna do it unless we agree.

- But I think we gotta look at our options.
- This isn't an option.

- Why not?
- You can't do it.

What I did was a million to one.

And that was some pissant demon
I was brain wrestling.

You're talking about taking back control
from Satan himself.

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

Kid, it's called possession for a reason.

You of all people ought to know.

- Well, I'm strong enough.
- You ain't.

He's gonna find every chink
in your armor, Sam...

and use it against you.

Your fear, your grief, your anger.

And, let's face it, you're not exactly
Mr. Anger-Management.

How are you gonna control the devil
when you can't control yourself?

Demons.

No, human shields.

The demons are up top, 12th floor.

Then we'll have to find a way in
through the back.

You Winchesters
make everything so complicated.

Crap.

Oh, crap.

Oh, crap. Oh, crap.

CROWLEY:
Door's open.

What?

You killed them?

We're on a tight schedule. Come on.

Now you're squeamish? Please.

Go get them, tiger.

- You're not coming?
- Oh, no, it's not safe up there.

- There's demons.
- Yeah, I get that.

Look, just do what I told you.

And try to be convincing.

It'll work like a charm. Trust me.

[DEMON GRUNTING]

Dean Winchester.

What, no appointment?

Kind of an 11th-hour thing, you know?

Well, then, you're just on time.

Have a seat.

How's your brother?

Well, down to business, then.

What can I do for you?

- It's about what I can do for you.
- Really?

Me and Sam dropped two
of your jockeys. I think you know that.

Yes, I got the memo.

Well, we kept their secret-power rings,
which is why I'm here.

I heard some folks saying
that you wanted them back.

- And you were willing to pay.
- Hm.

- Where are they?
- Not here.

But you want them,
you come with me, nice and civil.

Get out of your little Batcave here
and discuss a transaction.

Who says I want them?

What?

Who says I want them?

[GULPS]

You know, folks.

See, War and Famine...

even if I could cram the rings back
on their bony fingers...

I doubt it would do much good.

They're withered husks right now.
Fetal position on the floor.

All thanks to you.

So I don't want the rings.

What I want is retribution.

And I'm gonna rip it
right out of your ass.

[DEAN GRUNTING]

This is so good.

Therapeutic, for sure. You know, Dean...

I really owe you one, buddy,
because I feel...

so...

much...

- better.
- Ugh!

[EXHALES]

[GRUNTS]

BRADY:
Dean.

Dean, now, where are you going?
Come on, we're just getting started.

Good meeting, Dean.
You know, I'm excited.

Evening, uncle.

What the hell was that?

- That was perfect.
- Perfect?

He didn't want the rings. He wanted me.

Imagine the surprise on your face.

- What?
- Your ignorance and misinformation.

I mean, completely authentic.
You can't fake that.

What? It went like clockwork.

Not for me, you son of a bitch.

That's what you get,
working with a demon.

- Hey, hot stuff, watch the upholstery.
- Up yours, mate.

This bit of carving
will tie our friend here down.

No zapping off, no smoking out.
Locked in the meat suit.

An important piece
of our bargaining strategy.

Now, up here, we don't want I-50.

- Take 93 North.
- What are you talking about?

Look, we can't take this guy
back to your brother.

Why the hell not?

Crowley.

They got history, all right?

[TIRES SCREECHING]

You wanna go anywhere,
you start talking.

What history?

Where's Dean?

Now, for the record, I'm against this.

Negotiating a high-level defection,
it's very delicate business.

What are you talking about?

I begged Dean not to come back.
We should be miles away from you.

He replied with a colorful rejoinder
about my corn chute.

[SAM SCOFFS]

So go ahead.

Go ruin our last best hope.

It's only the end of the world.

- Sam.
- What's going on, Dean?

I need you to stay on mission.

Okay? Focused.

I don't understand.
What's all this about?

I'm doing this because I trust you.

You trust me to what?

BRADY:
Sam?

Sam, is that you?

Brady?

Brady hasn't been Brady in years.

Not since, oh, middle
of our sophomore year.

- What?
- That's right.

You had a devil on your shoulder,
even back then.

All right, now, let it all sink in.

You son of a bitch.

You son of a bitch.
You introduced me to Jess.

BRADY:
Ding, ding, I think he's got it.

- Damn it, Sam.
- I'm gonna kill you.

[LAUGHING]

DEAN:
Hey, that's enough.

- Get out of my way.
- No.

Get out of my way.

There is only one way to win,
and it ain't by killing that thing in there.

Well, sounds like you got him
nice and fluffed.

Thanks so much.

Listen to me.
We need Pestilence to get at the devil.

- And we need Brady to get to Pestilence.
- Why?

Because Crowley said so?
Because we trust him now?

Like I trusted Ruby?
Or like I trusted Brady back at school?

Look. Do the math yourself.

If Lucifer wins,
he'll turn this place into his kingdom.

When the morning star cleans house,
we all get the mop.

He created us.

Why would he destroy us?
That makes no sense.

Look at who...

At what he is.

Then take a look at what we are.

Maybe you should be a little less worried
about our necks...

and be a little more worried
about yours.

Has crossed my mind.
It's not really the point.

Actually, Crowley, that is the point.

No one will know
greater torment than you.

Lucifer is never gonna let you die.

As for me, I know the score.

I'm dead whether I tell you
anything or not.

So I think I'll die
on the winning side, thanks.

Good talk.

Cheers.

How'd it go?
Buy your Girl Scout cookies?

Not yet.

Where's your moose?

He's cooling off.

All right, then. Get bent.

- You going somewhere?
- Well, he won't budge.

So now I go stick my neck out.

What are you gonna do?

Exactly the kind
of desperate swashbuckle...

I've been trying to avoid.

Now I go kick open a hive of demons.

This whole bloody ring business
better work.

DEAN:
Sam?

Oh, Sam, come on.

Hey.

Open the door.

Open the door.

Well, here we go.

Are we doing last words or no?

Sophomore year, huh?

Brady here, he was a good kid.

Straight arrow.
I mean, your best friend, really.

Perfect point of access.

- Thanksgiving?
- Yes, sir.

Remember when I came back
from break all messed up?

Dropped out of pre-med.
The drugs, the bitches.

That was the new Brady. That was me.

Remember how much time you spent
trying to get me back on the right track?

You really were a good friend.

But old Yellow Eyes didn't send me back
to be your friend.

No, we could tell
we were starting to lose you.

You were becoming a mild-mannered
worthless sack of piss.

Now, come on, we couldn't have that.
You were our favorite.

So I hooked you up with a pure, sweet,
innocent piece of tail.

And then I toasted her on the ceiling.

Right, Azazel might have put
the hit out on Jessica.

But, man, I got to have all the fun.
Ha, ha, ha.

You know,
she thought we were friends too.

Let me right in.

She was baking cookies.

She was so surprised.

So hurt when I started in on her.

Come on.
Do it if it'll make you feel better.

Do it, Sammy. Do it. Come on.

Come on.

[BRADY LAUGHING]

Oh...

Come on.

SAM: Hey, hey, hey, all right.
Wait, I'm gonna open it.

- What happened?
- Nothing.

- My ass.
- Dean, I'm fine.

Yeah, and what about Brady?

Like you said...

we need him.

God, the day I've had.

Good news.

You're going to live forever.

What did you do?

Went over to a demon's nest,
had a little massacre.

Must be losing my touch, though.

Let one of the little toads live.

Oops.

Also might have given said toad
the impression...

that you left your post last night.

Because you and I are...

Wait for it.

Lovers in league against Satan.

Hello, darling.

So now death is off the table.

Now you get to be on the boss's
eternal torment list with little old me.

- Oh, no, no, no.
- Something else we have in common.

Apart from our torrid passion, of course.
Craven self-preservation.

So, now, why don't you tell me
where Pestilence is at?

[HOUND HOWLING]

[HOUND HOWLING]

- Oh, God, Crowley.
- Was that a hell hound?

- I'd say, yeah.
- Why was that a hell hound?

- What's that?
- Remember my little tracking device?

- Yeah?
- Demons planted one on me.

You're saying
a hell hound followed you?

Technically, he followed this.

Get me out, I'll tell you anything.

- Shut up.
- Okay, then we should go.

Sorry, no one knows more
about the hounds than I.

You're long past the point of go.

[HOUND HOWLING]

- Damn it.
- I told you.

Well, good for you.

- Luckily we have salt in the kitchen.
- I'll watch Brady.

Watch me?

Get me the hell out of here.

[HOUND BARKING]

Sammy!

Salt?

BRADY: Damn it, get me out of here.
- Shut up.

Great, just great.

CROWLEY:
Hey.

- You're back?
- I'm invested, currently.

[HOUND BARKING]

Stay.

- You can control them?
- Not that one.

I brought my own.

Mine's bigger.

Sic him, boy.

[HOUND BARKING]

[HOUNDS GROWLING]

[HOUNDS BARKING & GROWLING]

DEAN:
Go, go, go.

[HOUNDS GROWLING]

[HOUNDS BARKING & HOWLING]

DEAN:
Move, go, go.

[HOUND WHIMPERING]

I'll wager you a thousand my pup wins.
Ha, ha.

[CRASHING & HOUND WHIMPERS]

Yeah, I'm sure Pestilence
will be there, thanks.

DEAN: What do you think?
- It's good.

You got no reason to lie, have you?

Like I said before,
you're in my boat now.

You've screwed me for eternity.

No, won't last that long. Trust me.

BRADY:
Where are you going?

I'm going to do you a favor.

I expect we'll be in touch.

What is this?

All those angels, all those demons,
all those sons of bitches...

they just don't get it, do they, Sammy?

No, they don't, Dean.

You see, Brady,
we're the ones you should be afraid of.

I bet this is a real moment for you,
big boy.

Gonna make you feel all better, huh?

It's a start.

Gonna make up for all the times
that we yanked your chain?

Yellow Eyes, Ruby, me.

But it wasn't all our fault, was it?
No, no, no.

You're the one who trusted us.
You're the one who let us into your life.

Let us whisper in your ear
over and over and over again.

Ever wonder why that is, Sammy?

Ever wonder why
we were so in your blind spot?

Maybe it's because we got
the same stuff in our veins.

And deep down,
you know you're just like us.

Argh!

[BRADY GRUNTING]

Maybe you hate us so much
because you hate what you see...

every time you look in the mirror.
You ever think of that?

Maybe the only difference
between you and a demon...

is your hell is right here.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Interesting theory.

Yeah, I followed up.

Nasty omens,
but none of it's Death with a capital D.

Well, just give me a ring
if it turns into anything.

And, Rufus,
you watch your ass out there.

CROWLEY:
Chin up. Cavalry's arrived.

Charming.

That won't work on me.

Name's Crowley. Maybe you've...

- You're Crowley?
- In the flesh.

Of a moderately successful
literary agent out of New York.

Ah!

So you have heard of me.

- I liked this suit.
- What are you doing here?

- Looking out for Crowley.
- Meaning?

The boys are onto ring number three,
but we still need number four.

I'm here to help.

You know where Death is?

No. Haven't the foggiest.

Then get the hell off my property...

before I blast you so full of rock salt
you crap margaritas.

That's a mite unfriendly.

Seeing as I could be getting you
Death's location in the time you reload.

You're just gonna chat some demons up
and hope they don't recognize you?

God, no. That could get me killed.

But there is this little spell that I know.

- That so?
- Results are 100 percent guaranteed.

Then why are you snake-oiling me?

Well, it's a little bit...

embarrassing.

There's this technicality.

Uh-huh.

I need something to get the magic going.

And what's that?

You make a wish.

I can give you anything you want, mate,
up to and including Death's coordinates.

- All I need is...
- My soul.

I've done more with less.

Let's say when they're getting
their Grammys...

they shouldn't all be thanking God.

It's worth it, Bobby.

Think.

Okay. Here's my counter.

Ow! Bloody hell.

You're feisty.

Get out.

I'll give it right back.

You think I'm a natural-born idiot?

Quite the contrary.

Look, you're right to be suspicious,
but I'm your ally.

Enemy of my enemy, and all that.

I need the devil back in his stock.

In fact, my delicate ass depends on it.

I promise you, temporary loan.

I'll give it right back.